323 responses to “In which you get to know Guest Blogger Mike Maynard & his Wit & his Farmville strategies”

1. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 26, 2010

   Business practises and Farmville.

   If a group of business people get round a table and fix prices, this is a cartel and usually breaks some regulations, if not the law. There can be cartels that are not done by a meeting; this is when a shopkeeper competes with Joe down the street and his profit margin suffers. He doesn’t meet Joe but cuts prices on some of his goods and displays them prominently. and on other goods at the back of the store he prices his goods more expensively than Joe. This is a cartel; he isn’t really competing, but if he cuts Joe’s prices across the board and then Joe retaliates, eventually neither business makes a profit. There has to be a compromise.

   What does this have to do with Farmville?

   I started a co-op to make wine and people joined and planted white grapes. Then you have to wait 12 hours for the white grapes to grow and harvest them. Does this make sense so far? But what if I plant white grapes and harvest a few minutes later? It doesn’t make sense does it when they take 12 hours to grow? I had some already growing and computers can’t tell one white grape from another! I’m ahead of the game within minutes – this is lateral thinking.

   My main competitor in this ‘business’ we call Farmville lives in Holland. She is a good friend but we still compete, but now I can pull away and get a bonus. Does she compete or does she compromise? What would you do? She joined my co-op and compromised. This is a strategy many business people fail to understand; sometimes you cooperate even with your competitors and sometimes you compete and try to put them out of business.

   If you’re in farming, you may join some kind of organisation that benefits all farmers and cooperate. When it comes to selling your produce if there is a surplus and you are more efficient than your neighbour or you have employed a little lateral thinking to get ahead of the game, then you can compete.

   Play Farmville and learn business techniques – play against me and learn lateral thinking. My friend and competitor just thanked me for a free sample of wine.

   Why I shall have a Facebook page for my writing.

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypmfs3z8esI&feature=player_embedded#!

   Shari will love that video… I just emailed it to a writer who wants to use Youtube to publicise his novel.

   The trials of trying to be a writer…

   Ask me what Onomatopoeia is and I’ll probably reply, “I had one those but the handle fell off!”

   It actually a rhetorical device and I use rhetorical devices all the time. I use them because I have read them and it’s like learning to play music by ear. You can’t read music but you can still play it. I did go to a grammar school and old ‘smudge’ did attempt to teach us how to use rhetorical devices in our English language lessons; some of that stuff probably went deep into my subconscious. I learnt other rhetorical devices by listening and reading. Some have weird Latin names so I have no chance of remembering what they are called but when I wrote about Pandora my imaginary parrot and her inability to say Ar and her liking for tangerines – I used a rhetorical device. Pandowa squawks, “Tangaweens, Tangaweens, Tangaweens,” at the very sight of them! I may have used more than one rhetorical device in that sentence – who knows; who cares? Another one you may have heard of is the metaphor as in “He is such a stupid!” Stupid is of course a verb and I use it as a noun and as a metaphor; ok, sometimes it’s not a metaphor they really are stupid!

   My mind has gone blank; I’m confusing myself with this technical stuff.

   I wrote an essay yesterday. Now imagine, this is another device I use, my imagination. This essay is about a 20-year-old girl leading a camping group. Have you got an image of a 20-year-old girl camping in your mind?

   I described how she had a lot of experience leading other young people from when she was at school and that she enjoyed camping and cooking traditional Chinese food out of doors. You see how the image changes? You are now seeing a Chinese girl, with a wok over a fire cooking Chow Mein for several million Chinese girl guides; well maybe not, but that is what I see.

   I also wrote an email about writing emails; it was supposed to demonstrate that writing an email would demonstrate how good a writer you are and impress some junior editor who may then read your manuscript. I received a reply, I failed; the writer still can’t write an email and worse isn’t going to try.

   I have to write an important email to a publisher; this takes days of thought. When I look like I am doing nothing and just staring into space I am actually working on this important email with breaks to work on my psychological thriller that is still floating around in my mind somewhere. The email has to impress in the first paragraph, I wouldn’t read farther than the first paragraph if it was obviously from someone who is crap at writing. Where shall I put my address and contact details? Shall I put it on a heading or at the end of the email? On a letter I would put it as a heading. If it turns out good, then I’ll go for a heading otherwise after the digital signature – sorted!

   I still need a weekly column…

   Do you see those three dots, full stops or periods; call them what you will – in the heading? I use three, never four, never two, never five; always bloody three. I thought I would mention that…

   I still need a weekly column in a glossy magazine or newspaper; I would settle for an upmarket website. I want freedom of expression so I can make fun of politicians and bureauprats. I also want it to pay £10,000 a year, but we can work our way up to that. Copyright sale is important; it will be a capital gain then and tax free. I have a fetish about tax-free.

   This blog-in-a-blog has been proofread, edited and generally messed with; this is unusual – read it again and get your money’s worth…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      September 26, 2010

      Actually Mike, you don’t need the weekly column, you need the right people to read this blog and pay you for the privilege. I Remember When the story of the 20-year-old girl was discovered by that Junior Editor who was ordered to find a genius and she happened to remember your email about the 20-year-old Chinese girl…

      Reply
2. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 26, 2010

   I agree, I remember that junior editor well she went on to become a senior editor – I think she will be area manager of that publishing house any day now. She may remember her friends who helped her to the top when she makes CEO; what do you think?

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      September 26, 2010

      I remember when our senior editor friend flew me to London so you and I could write a stage play “How to Become Rich & Famous by Playing Farmville.”

      Reply
3. 

   sharisax

   September 27, 2010

   Mike, where is the URL for that last YouTube video you wanted me to see?

   Reply
4. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 27, 2010

   The psychology of association.

   Today I am writing about psychology, a serious subject but hopefully I’ll think of something funny as I write.

   A while ago a young editor told me I should read the CMS; I thought she meant Content Management System! She actually meant the Chicago Manual of Style; her bible as an American editor. She sounded a little overconfident and to another writer she sounded arrogant. I was a little annoyed at having my writing criticised and commented ‘I don’t care about manuals today, I didn’t care about manuals yesterday and I probably won’t care about manuals tomorrow.’ This little gem got a response from the other writer who compared me to Oscar Wilde. A negative comment becomes positive. Shari compared me to Franz Kafka; now we have association. I can claim quite honestly that I am compared to famous writers. Now I need to associate this with a few more little gems.

   I wrote a story for children with cancer using characters from my novel earlier this year and it’s just arrived in India, after going to Mexico, Australia and Chile. This isn’t too important by itself, but the story is on a YouTube video. Associate the story with me as a writer and with the video and then associate the writer with the fact I am often compared to great writers and it sounds good.

   I wrote an email yesterday and used this phenomenon, drawing together strands of information from over the past 18 months. I can’t repeat all of it; I keep some secrets to myself! In the UK a very prestigious address is Park Lane in London; I was invited there for drinks and canapés not long ago! How do I associate myself with such a prestigious address? Where I live all of the local politicians are left wing except in the local election just one was a right wing politician. Why? Association! They associate where I live with prestige because the estate is called the Park Lane estate; in fact the chip shop is in Park Lane! I have even used association when putting my address on the email! I was careful about font, size and placing.

   Why so fussy? This is my big shot! I have to impress a junior editor with a synopsis of my novel and if successful it goes to a senior editor. I have impressed my friends; they want to join in this little party! One friend made a slight criticism. I said my manuscript may need a little editing because it’s hard to spot one’s own mistakes. That is a nice touch of honesty! It also motivates the editor; the junior editor wants to be a senior editor. I have suggested they do that by editing a manuscript by someone who is often compared to ‘great’ writers and I have suggested most of the work is already done. Association works and so done subtle suggestion. My email should be perfect, the synopsis is funny and tells the story; but leaves a little to the imagination – to tempt them into reading it; always tease the reader! So why haven’t I sent it? The banner at the bottom is a link to my website – that is today’s job; tidy that up and prepare it for the eyes of a junior editor. Have I missed anything?

   Farmville.

   I was lying in bed last night and we needed around 350 plots of grapes to complete our co-operative wine making; my grapes were on 98%. No worries. I read through my email again and noticed an awkward adverb – it was obviously corrected. Back to Farmville, 99%, what is 1% of 12 hours? Then it was all over, the co-op was complete someone beat me to it by a few minutes and claimed the top bonus! Am not deterred! I know that the programmers of the game made an error when they designed the game in the maths – I am thinking laterally. I go rampaging through my farm destroying anything that isn’t useful! Now we have some room to play around. I add a couple of thousand to my score and plant again! Green grapes over half my farm and sugar beet and stuff I need for weird wine over the other half.

   This morning was a little frantic harvesting it all in time. I needed to harvest the sugar cane and stuff. Start a new co-op, plant half my farm with green grapes and then because computers don’t know one green grape from another, confuse it – by harvesting 300 plots that I seeded last night! I needed to get this entire harvest done fast and early, the grapes need harvesting again tonight! Now I need my friend to join the co-op and plant black grapes some time today. I can do the co-op alone but will get a bonus if I get help. Co-operation will work again and this time I am 300 plots ahead of the game!

   Please leave suggestions and I’ll write about it tomorrow; although I do have a meeting – so tomorrow may be done today…

   I’ll be back…

   Reply
5. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 28, 2010

   Warning today’s blog-in-a-blog contains sex and is not suitable for people with an over-active imagination…

   Farmville.

   No one joined my co-op in Farmville and so this could be a bad move. I may have to do it all alone and black grapes don’t have a great ROI (return on investment). I will try to finish the job though and get the bonus. My friend meanwhile is catching up. It is time for drastic action. I deleted a lot of unnecessary things yesterday what else can I do?

   I decided that I can’t do much today but managed to use a little time I had to generate a little profit; every little helps. Then I went drastic. My 1,000,000 coin villa had to go! I needed the land and so I sold it and planted blackberries for fruit wine! My friend was 100,000 XP behind yesterday; she cut my lead to 90,000. I improved a little and now it’s around 93,000 but it will go better at the end of today when I harvest those black grapes. What did she do? She must have consolidated her position like me and to get 10,000 XP in a day means spending 1,000,000 coins. I shall probably pull a lead out tomorrow, but will look at ROI, it is much better on vegetables; so maybe it’s time to grow peas?

   Improve your business decisions; play Farmville.

   Imagination.

   This is my second blog today and I only got put of bed just over 2 hours ago. ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge,’ Albert Einstein.

   We promised you advice on how to get rich, infamous and Shari promised to improve your sex life if you’re in a long term relationship. The key to all these things is imagination.

   I sent the synopsis for my novel Captain Jack: A ship’s log to the publisher yesterday and a major publisher at that:

   The main character in my comedy adventure loses his job just before Christmas; he is a charismatic character and doesn’t give in easily. He sees a ‘ship’ for sale on the internet and after celebrating Christmas and New Year he packs all his worldly goods into his panel van and sets off to a fishing port on the east coast of England. He meets the ship’s owner after calling his cell phone and buys the ship for cash at a bargain price. It is only when the owner is long gone, he makes new friends and they tell him his ‘ship’ is a condemned trawler! He is undeterred and decides to turn it into a ‘pirate’ ship and change his name to John. T. Johnson; his name is Smith and that is way too boring. Of course with a name like John everyone can call him Captain Jack. He makes friends easily and has help from the local people and meets a young man ten years his junior who unlike our hero knows something about sailing!

   His new friend and first mate Mark helps him turn the trawler into a pirate ship. They do house clearances together and find all kinds of ‘treasure’ to sell. There are problems like having to arrange a funeral for the late Captain Bell. During one house clearance they discover their greatest treasure of all. Pandora the parrot is all alone after her owner passed away and she soon becomes Pandowa the pawwot; she can’t say Ar – poor thing… Will Pandowa ever stop squawking, “Tangaweens, Tangaweens, Tangaweens,” or is her tangerine addiction permanent? 🙂

   That is the shortened version, the publisher gets more – the editor needs to know the whole story; well most of it!

   If you have read my previous blogs you may remember those devices, I have covered rhetorical devices and psychological devices; imagination is the ultimate device.

   Remember the essay I did about the 20-year-old Chinese girl camping and I said imagine a 20-year-old Chinese girl with a wok in the woods cooking Chow Mein for a million Chinese girl guides? Have you ever seen a Chinese girl guide? Probably not… It doesn’t stop you imagining does it?

   Now to my synopsis for a psychological thriller:

   Becky plans a night out with her friends as usual and puts on her sexy new underwear, low cut top and short skirt and the guys notice! At the club they are all chatting her up and buying her drinks and she has a little too much to drink. Her friend Rachel drives them home and when Allie gets out of the car so does Becky.
   “Get back in Becky,” Rachel pleads.
   “I’ll be fine; I only live around the corner,” Becky replies and walks away, “Goodnight…”
   That was the last they saw of Becky, and Becky remembered nothing of what came next. She woke up with her wrists hurting; she looked up to find shackles around her wrists and when she looked down there were shackles around her ankles too. She looked around at the room; it was empty except for an armchair in front of her and a table next to the armchair. The room was dark and scary with bare brick walls and a single light with no shade in the centre. It looked like it may be a cellar or something; there were no windows just one door. ‘Where the feckin’ hell was she?’

   What comes next? Use your imagination… There is obviously a kidnapper. She has been drinking and she is shackled to the wall. What comes next?

   “I really need to pee,” thought Becky trying desperately to move but she couldn’t.
   Then the door opened and in walked ‘the man’; he sat down in the chair and just stared and looked Becky up and down.

   “Let me go; you feckin’pervert,” Becky screamed; the ‘man’ didn’t say anything – he just looked.
   “I need a feckin’ pee,” Becky screamed , wishing she was wearing sensible white panties and not the sexy thong.

   The ‘man’ looked on and said nothing.

   “I need the bathroom, I need to feckin’ pee,” screamed Becky again, “Let me go!”

   “Say please…,” The ‘man’ instructed.

   “Feckin’, please…”Becky screamed struggling with her shackles, “I’m going to do it!”

   “Don’t swear,” The ‘man’ said quietly.

   “Please,” Becky begged, her face now showing the pain and she was holding herself trying not to embarrass herself even more. Why had she dressed like this?

   In my novel I described how Captain Jack loved his English breakfasts and looked forward to cooking bacon, sausage, mushrooms; the full Monty every Sunday morning. My friend said when he read it he ‘could smell the bacon.’ This was some compliment coming from a vegetarian. Now what do you imagine when you read about Becky? A guy who watches porno movies every day on the internet will imagine something quite different from a celibate priest; but can the priest ‘smell the bacon?’

   A good sex life? It’s about imagination and the vegetarian who has never eaten bacon can still smell it and use his imagination to get an idea of what it tastes like… The man who has bacon sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner may not appreciate the smell of frying bacon quite so much…

   I’m hungry now…

   I’ll be back…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      September 28, 2010

      Mike, we are warehousing a collection of fine — and funny — literature here; I remember when you had Becky’s story turnaround on itself when she finally recognizes the man. That was the Tipping Point, i.e., when the Senior Editor herself actually came knocking at your door.

      I wish I could help with the Farmville coop; I’m trying to figure out what would make me do it: I remember when I was a rich and famous farmer but there was a drought and so I started blogging instead. The fact that I’d been rich and famous in that former life did mean, however, that I had plenty of influential people in my corner. So now I remember when I “called in the chips” and reminded them what I needed them to do.

      BTW, love the “smell the bacon” circle

      Reply
6. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 29, 2010

   Farmville.

   I had to become seriously devious at Farmville. My closest competitor was 100,000 XP (experience points) behind and closed the gap to 90,000 XP. In business always keep an eye on the competition. I closed the gap back to 100,000 yesterday – it 90,000 again this morning. You can use ‘real’ money to buy FV cash. Am I going to use ‘real’ money? There are something that go against the grain even in business, don’t sacrifice your integrity – it’s better to go broke! Besides, it will cost my friend a lot of money if she is doing that! She does get up early to play before work. Will I do that? Now remember the previous lesson I taught you? Intelligent people dream, less intelligent people don’t? I need my sleep…

   Now for a Farmville puzzle. You have to choose what to grow! You want XP – the person with the most is winning… You get XP by growing crops, collecting eggs, milking cows, spending coins, etc. You trade wine for fuel and fuel helps you plough, plant and harvest quicker. I have hundred of barrels of wine, do I need more? I only sell a few, most days. Now let’s check out peas, these give a good ROI (return on investment) but a bloody useless for making wine. The seeds cost 190 per plot and sell for 381 per plot; this is a good ROI of 191. Compare this to Blueberries with an ROI of 51. Wait! It costs 15 coins to plough! That cuts the ROI on peas to 176 and cuts the ROI on Blueberries to just 36! But Peas take 24 hours to grow and blueberries only take 4 hours to grow… peas give an XP of 3 and blue berries only give an XP of 1. You get 1 XP for ploughing though.

   What is the average ROI per hour over 24 hour periods, which are better peas or blueberries? Which give the best XP return over a 24 period? The answer for peas is 7 coins an hour and 5 XP over a 24 hour period. Are blueberries better? Yes, but as any mother will tell you who has fed a baby every 4 hours – you can forget harvesting bloody blueberries every four hours! The ROI on the blueberries is about 7 coins an hour if you just grow them for 12 hours a day and switch to something else while you sleep; the XP works out to 1 plus 1 for a bonus (if you have mastered blueberry growing) and 1 XP when you plough. So you can get 3 XP every 4 hours. You can get 9XP and then plant something else for another 3 XP while you sleep! The blueberries win but use a lot of fuel ploughing, planting and harvesting and take up precious time. The answer to this problem as any business executive who knows anything will tell you is to plant blueberries, white grapes and black grapes – they all make wine and you diversify. It’s just business – it ain’t rocket science; it’s easy! Not!

   Psychology.

   Getting back to psychology and sex! Remember poor Becky from yesterday? She is still shackled to a wall and needs a pee! Shari has her theories about what happens next… Becky is scared… I read this earlier:

   Scare the daylights out of her

   Let’s face it, caution and safety have never been sexy. Danger and spontaneity, on the other hand, are powerful aphrodisiacs. And there’s a scientific reason why attraction and danger are linked.
   Studies have shown that fear is more likely to bond people than laughter because the accompanying release of stress hormones triggers an instinct to grab hold of the nearest person for the sake of safety.
   Will Becky bond with her captor? She has called him a feckin’ pervert! I would serialise this story if I had more readers commenting…
   Remember association? I read this too:
   Fragrance has long been a useful weapon in a man’s flirting armoury and with good reason. Not only has a study by the famous Kinsey Institute revealed that women who sniff a male fragrance while fantasizing about an erotic experience become more sexually aroused, our sense of smell is handled by the same part of the brain associated with basic instincts – including sexual desire.
   People associate perfumes with sex…
   Remember the key to being creative is imagination?
   I also read this:
   When a team from Newcastle University in the UK explored why some men were more of a hit with women than others they discovered a link between creativity and sexual success. Artists and poets came top of the list, with up to three times more partners than non-creative types. So when she asks what you do in your spare time you’re a poet, right? Or play double bass in a jazz quintet. Or paint erotic nudes.
   I can’t paint, no worries; I’ll take photos… Shari will play the sax…
   
   “Many men treat email totally differently than conversation and become incredibly formal or brusque,” says Marc Katz, one of America’s leading dating coaches. “Instead, write as you’d speak, show your personality and make sure you ask lots of open ended questions so she has to reply. Never ask questions that she can merely reply ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to.” Cutting and pasting her name into the opening line of the email is clearly a very bad idea.

   Yeah, keep emails and blogs very informal or you’ll never pull… Me and Shari have this sorted…

   For more tips on sex and the opposite sex come back tomorrow, comment and I might do the next installment of Becky… Will she or won’t she?

   I’ll be back…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      September 29, 2010

      In which we continue to practice and do our best; they “say”: Build it and they will come. [Kevin Costner in movie “Field of Dreams”]

      Yesterday it came to me who you remind me of — John Kennedy Toole’s Confederacy of Dunces Have you read it? If not, you must, Mike. Funniest, funniest book. Unfortunately he gave up, i.e. committed suicide in his late 20’s; I think he was a grad student at Harvard [or something like that — I could check but maybe a reader will correct me].
      Anyway, his mum believed in him so much that she took the book around to Everyone. Eleven years after his death it was published. The writer Walker Percy was the one who saw the genius. Toole was a “character” like you.

      Reply
7. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 30, 2010

   I hope I don’t have to wait until after I’m dead to get published. No one would bother submitting my manuscript after I’m dead; unless they thought there was money in it; then it would create one hell of an argument in a family as big as mine. We still discuss having to share chocolate when we were kids!

   Today’s Blog-in-a-blog.

   Farmville.

   I can now tell you that you can learn another important lesson from Farmville! I planted grapes last night and someone joined my co-op and so was all set to finish the co-op job. What could go wrong? In business the bosses plan for months, amazing improvements that will improve efficiency and profitability; their ROI (return on investment) will rocket. They always make the same mistake! They surprise their employees! Yes, this morning we have all new computers and new operating systems and shining new chairs. What is the reaction of the employees? “Oh, sh**!” People don’t like change, it should be done gradually; the business should evolve. “You can take your shiny new computer and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine…” “I’ll need to go on a course to learn how this works!” Does all this sound familiar?

   Farmville was changed overnight. I’m thankfully on this side the pond, 5 hours ahead of EST – so have a head start; my friend in Holland is an hour ahead of me! There is a bright side to the change in how the wine is made and how we buy supplies in the Farmville Farm market; we’re ahead of the people on the other side the pond; we are learning fast while they still have their dreamless sleep… Anyway, the 1 XP bonuses for mastery have gone, it’s confusing as hell now. I have to harvest grapes soon and decide what to plant. No worries… I have all the ROI of each fruit written down from yesterday. I have loads of black grapes, I’ll grow blues berries and blackberries; more blue than black – the recipe calls twice as many blue as black. They will take 4 hours and I need to make wine in 6 hours – no worries…

   Pandowa the Movie

   My hard drive is going to fill up like Shari’s if I’m not careful. Yes! I have started making videos. Webby, M. J. Webb, author of Jake West: The Keeper of the Stones sent me a video promoting his novel. He said it wasn’t very good, he was right… I made about 6 videos before I got one to send him; he is excited! T is good though, we just need some different music; the music we are using is perfect – but we don’t own the copyright. My great niece is working on that; I encouraged her to go to music school and even sent £20 to pay for her ticket to get to their open day. It may have been a good investment after all.

   My student friend in China needed me to help with her assignment. Now the time difference isn’t in my favour – she is 7 hours ahead. Its late afternoon already and I haven’t done her assignment. It’s her birthday tomorrow and they’re off to Expo 2010 in Shanghai; while I write her assignment. I hope she doesn’t need it before then. I’ll do it later just in case. I did the research in bed last night. There is no eight-hour day for me! I played the video again just to see what my masterpiece was like again. I couldn’t resist – I want one! My novel should have a video too! My imaginary parrot, Pandowa will be upset if she doesn’t get a video. Pandowa the movie was born… It was midnight and I had done a few frames, a picture of the pirate ship, a parrot and some frames with text and some suitably nautical music. I had made a start; I went in to a dream-filled sleep…

   I must stop with these dream jokes…

   I just checked my email. No email from the lottery people so I didn’t win last night. I missed the draw, I was researching Carrefour and Walmart for International Business studies in China. Walmart pay crap wages and the boss is a prat. Carrefour has hypermarkets, pay crap wages and the boss is a French prêt. My spell checker is making up its own jokes now. I wonder if they have prêt du jour?

   
   Strange fact: Half of writing for two days in advance by large reel with your right arm. Fuse and strange phrases such as “I put two Perfect to Giselle.”

   That is a Google translation from a French site – the original text said:

   Fait étrange : la moitié de la rédaction avance depuis deux jours en faisant de grands moulinets avec le bras droit. Et d’étranges phrases fusent, telles que “j’ai mis deux Perfect à Giselle”.

   Its fun being on this side of the pond… The French don’t half talk rubbish… I give up trying to translate that properly. If it any help, a moulinet is a fencing term, whereby you turn your foil in a circular motion and a Giselle is a type of ballet; he was writing about the Playstation. I know what a Playstation is, no need to explain in the comments. Dreamless people play games on them, the rest of us hone our business skills playing Farmville.

   Incidentally if you’re over 12 years old and you intend to take up fencing, get a #5 foil anything smaller will be too small. The internet is full of bloody useless information like that. There is nothing wrong with that, half of the information stored in my brain is bloody useless…

   I went to sleep late last night, I regretted it when my alarm went off; I regret it now; the lack of dream sleep is showing. My mind has gone blank; that’s normal though. I usually start writing my blog at 11 o’clock after writing my email; I have to do 1,000 words to warm up. I’m still half asleep and dreamless. I need tea and biscuits, when in England; if all else fails – make a cup of tea and get the bikkies out. No, coffee and cookies don’t cut it, unless you’re a dreamless city trader listening for rumours in Starbucks.

   “To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub.”

   I’ll be back…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      September 30, 2010

      Hey, Mike:
      1) You ARE PUBLISHED. The next step is to Remember When so many people were reading your stuff that the Publisher joined us in giving away half the company wealth. Isn’t the Internet wonderful? That is, if we are giving our money away to help people help themselves . . . and not just take the “care” and run.

      2) I’m still awaiting Farmville lessons, i.e., what do I/we do first, second . . .

      3) Change is exciting. It’s the challenge that makes every day worth maximizing.

      4) I’ve got to go teach a class right now, but I did want to “prepare” you for some great info on how to best utilize those 18-hour days.
      🙂
      Shari
      PS Make certain to say HI to your Chinese friend from me.
      PPS What instrument does your Great Niece play . . . or is it voice?
      PPPS I remember when she was very famous 🙂

      Reply
8. 

   Mike Maynard

   October 1, 2010

   Farmville for beginners.

   To play Farmville you must remember everyone is not the same. They may be smart or not so smart. Remember, the dreams? Smart people dream a lot, less smart people don’t dream so much and the terminally stupid don’t dream at all. First of all take on the dreamless playing Farmville; it takes them until lunchtime to work out how to switch the computer on…

   Remember there are different cultures; they play in Chinese in China; this is not recommended for beginners…

   On this side of the pond we drink tea and eat biscuits and on the other side they drink coffee and eat cookies. I am told there are other differences. On the other side of the pond I’m told they smile a lot, eat happy meals and say ‘have a nice day.’ Down under they do even more weird things; bear this in mind…

   You start Farmville with a piece of land and some cash. Cash come in two forms FV cash and coins. FV cash is like gold dust so don’t use it unless absolutely necessary; people on the other side of the pond use ‘real’ money to buy FV cash – weird…

   You don’t have much, no tractor and certainly no combine harvester. You need neighbours to help – ask your friends unless you’re dreamless and don’t have any…

   Plough your land, this costs 15 coins; save some coins to buy some seed. If you are short on time, you could click market and buy soya beans for 15 coins per plot and harvest them the next day – same time; same place. These sell for 63 coins – the ROI is 63 less the cost and the cost of ploughing and so the real ROI is 33 coins and you get 2XP. You get XP for a lot of things and move up levels as you get more XP. If you have more time plant wheat it costs 13 coins; the ROI is 33 coins the same but it only takes 12 hours to grow. If you plant early morning and harvest and plant again in the evening you get an XP of around 24 over 24 hours – if you’re quick ploughing, planting and harvesting.

   You get 1 XP for ploughing. Wheat gives 1 XP and so over a 24 hour period you can get 2 XP for ploughing and 2 XP for sowing; that’s 4XP compared to 3 XP for soya beans. If you get a free winery, plant grapes… I nearly forgot that…

   Plough your land from the end closest to you, and plough the plots close to one another – don’t waste land. At the other side you will have a strip of land where plots won’t go; if you get gifts of trees – plant them there. Don’t buy buildings – crops won’t grow in them will they? Wait until you’re loaded before buying vehicles. Your first vehicle should be a harvester – harvesting fast is important. Upgrading you farm and making it bigger depends on coins and enough neighbours. More tips on making a start later…

   News.

   It’s frugal Friday and shopping day, and so I’m being presumptuous as usual and letting my neighbour do it. I wrote a project for my student friend in China yesterday about marketing by French-owned Carrefour and American owned Wal-Mart; I have a great idea for Wal-Mart to increase sales and profits. Pay your staff better wages – you miserable buggers. You should change the name to Scrooge-Mart. Carrefour is no better, they would sell their employees blood if they could…

   I have good news. I made a few videos. Jake West: The Keeper of the Stones – the video is now on Facebook. I do have a better version – on my version, the credits come up at the end with my name on. Pandowa the Movie, is a little gem I made to promote my novel Captain Jack: A ship’s Log and that is also on Facebook. If you check out the ‘We are Wednesbury’ page you’ll see the town I live in and a video to the tune of ‘there’s no place like home.’ No comments on it yet – they are miserable sods around here!

   More good news.

   If you read my last blog after going to the hospital you’ll be pleased to hear I have another appointment for 2 pm on Saturday. This is with the man himself; the best doctor in the hospital.

   Sunday’s blog could be a good one, if I see him. This is doubtful though, why would he work on a Saturday? He will probably delegate me to one of Ranjit’s many cousins. He is probably in the Seychelles sunning himself; unless he had a day off in the week to play golf? I could get lucky…

   I’m thinking about making another video. ‘The loan arranger and his partner Tonto.’ My brother will play the loan arranger (wearing a mask) and Ranjit’s other cousin from the chip shop said he would do Tonto. He said, “Ar, Keemo Sabbi; I can do that.”

   I have chapter one of a murder mystery to write for a friend this afternoon…

   I’ll be back…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      October 2, 2010

      Farmville does not seem intuitive, i.e., unless there’s some huge motivational factor [like my son wanting to play with me or someone giving me $1,000 a day to play], I’ll wait a bit. But that doesn’t mean everyone should wait. In fact, I’m going to ask for Farmville fans to tell me why they play.

      I hope the student appreciated your work on the Wal-Mart marketing project. Despite peoples’ disdain, Wal-Mart’s been doing a whole lot that right. And I have the stocks to prove it. 🙂 Does your Chinese student comment on your videos and stuff? It’s the least she can do, right? BTW, who is Ranjit?

      Reply
9. 

   Mike Maynard

   October 2, 2010

   Saturday in sunny England…

   Yes, it’s Saturday morning in sunny England and I’m blogging early. I have hospital this afternoon. They have of course forecast more rain for this afternoon; just to complicate things.

   I have made another video. Planet Purpura…

   Planet Purpura is where the purple people eaters live and worship the purple sun. It is ruled by Princess Purpura. My friend Xanxa is into all thing purple and so I made her a video. Princess Purpura looks amazing, even I fancy her.

   This morning, the news is exciting. Yes, Webby finally got his book published by Authorhouse! We now wait in anticipation to see if anyone buys a copy… I might still have the link in my clip board to the UK site:

   http://www.authorhouse.co.uk/Bookstore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=Jake%20West

   There you go…

   The video for Jake West: The Keeper of the Stones I did crashed the program and so the credits are missing on the Facebook one; it’s still good though. I may send a credited one to Webby later.

   My great niece Megan is doing new music, she sings. She plays the piano and guitar and went to Access to Music in Birmingham (England, not Alabama). She was teaching singing but has been doing modelling, getting married and having kids just lately… Her post on Facebook said she was going dildo shopping with her sister Tyla today; she has varied interests too.

   It’s 9:40 I started this 90 minutes early, I got up 90 minutes early; I feel brain dead.

   Latest news:

   Against odds of 1 in 1.36 million, Ernest Pullen clinched his first million-dollar win in June when he scratched off the “100 Million Dollar Blockbuster” prize on a lottery ticket.
   The 57-year-old Bonne Terre, MO, man did it again this month, against even bigger odds, and doubled that prize by winning $2 million on a “Mega MONOPOLY” scratchers ticket he purchased on September 17, according to officials with the Missouri Lottery.
   “That was his second time winning,” said Misty Eye, store manager of the Miller’s Quick Shop that sold Pullen the prize-winner. “He acted like it was no big deal.”
   Pullen could not be reached for comment, but lottery officials said he told them he had had a dream that he won the lottery and considers himself “a lucky guy.”
   I did that. I mean I dreamt I won the lottery, I haven’t actually won yet. It was a Saturday night and a Superdraw for 15 million quid and I got all the numbers. I couldn’t see the numbers because the sun was in my eyes and so I had to get up and close the curtain. You know what this means of course; the sun will be high in the sky at 8:30 in the evening, there will be a Superdraw and I’ll win 15 million. The sun is only high in the sky in May and July so I have to wait again! Life sucks at times…

   I have the hospital this afternoon. I’m nervous already. Wonder what I can ask for this time? I have no new symptoms or test results. We will have nothing to talk about unless the doctor comes up with a good idea and I usually do that being more creative and a dreamer. I can’t take the back streets this time. They have closed that long spooky corridor I walked down last time; I have to park at the front opposite the hospital. I then have to cross the road to the main entrance. I hope I don’t get run over by a bus crossing the road, accident and emergency is round the back still…

   They phoned me last night. She asked if I knew where I had to go, I said yeah, route 6 in the new Outpatients. She said “er, route 006,” and I thought why couldn’t that have been 007 I would have got a laugh out of that or better still route 66! She said go in the main entrance turn left and down the huge corridor. I said that I knew that, I met a nurse there and said get a band in here and we could have one hell of a party. That did it, she didn’t want to go back to phoning the moaners then; I was popular, she wanted to talk to me. I had to be firm and say thanks for phoning and bye… I had videos to make and my chips were getting cold.

   I forgot Farmville! I was planting blackberries for blackberry wine but I’ll be at the hospital at harvest time so planted white grapes instead to harvest around 9 o’ clock this evening. It’s all go here…

   I’ll have an early lunch, something light or I’ll be suffering with my pancreatic problems all afternoon. It would be something to moan about at the hospital but if I get stuck in traffic it will be a pain. You have to be fit and well to travel to hospital around here; I should have gone into training really. Route 006, does sound like one of the first ones though so at least I won’t have to do a mini marathon around the hospital. I wonder if my clone is still in the ventilation system? I’m sure that’s what caused that strong smell of coffee to pervade through the café.

   I’ve had enough now, I’ll plan my journey. To stop for petrol or not to stop for petrol that is the question; is it nobler in the mind…

   Prepare veggies for lunch… I have nothing better to do now, unless I make Purpura Planet II?

   I’ll be back…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      October 2, 2010

      Mike, you have hit on the great successor to Farmville . . . Let’s Play Doctor. You can name the hospital corridors Anything you like AND you can name the “characters” etc. What do you think?

      Reply
10. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 3, 2010

    Rambling on a Sunday.

    I won’t write much today about Farmville. I think when my Netherlandic friend went on holiday she went over to the other side of the pond and bought FV cash. She is catching me up and has narrowed my lead from 100,000 XP to around 70,000; but I hit level 90 last night and this is a psychological barrier. I now need 39,000 XP just to go up a level. I have 100 tanks of fuel and that seems a lot but it isn’t, I could get through that in a week. I could stop buying products from other players for a week though – especially the one I’m competing against. That would use fuel but give me better scores. I’ll wait for her to catch up before I spring that little surprise!

    I was up late doing a video, it was brilliant but when I tried to convert it to WMV it crashed the program. I think it’s that damn music I have been using; sounds great but is has a high bit rate. I listened to a song by Weird Al Yankovich earlier; now that would make a funny video.

    I went to the hospital; I did get petrol on the way… I found half of the pumps weren’t working and drivers were driving around the forecourt trying to find those that did work. I bought some sweets; I get hungry when I’m nervous. I couldn’t get the bloody packet open. They are designed for children though… I was fine, no traffic hold ups or anything and when I saw the sign I spotted the entrance to the car park and just made it. The road I was on has about 20 sets of traffic lights and is a couple of miles long. There was another set, so crossing that road wasn’t a problem. It would have been if it hadn’t been for the traffic light controlled crossing. The traffic comes past in convoys; when a convoy passes coming from the right, another one is coming from the left and vice versa; it’s the traffic lights that do it.

    The new doors are weird… Go up the steps or a 200-yard disabled ramp; the entrance is like something out of that movie The Island, futuristic. I walked into this glass revolving thing and then walked around as it revolved and out of the other side. It will be great for keeping the draughts out – but what happens in a power failure? I found route 006, no problem and there was no one there except the nurse; she was waiting for someone to arrive. She recognised me; being infamous has its advantages. I was whisked off to be weighed; I was 64.9 Kg or 65Kg if I stood up straight… My blood pressure was normal as usual. I was instructed to stay there until the doctor was ready for me. I wasn’t entirely alone; I had an anorexic medical skeleton keeping me company. He or she (I didn’t think to check the pelvic bones to sex it) wasn’t very talkative and so I used the gadget to check my height. I’m still 185cm; that has confused a lot of people who aren’t bi-polarised and metricated like me.

    The chat with the doctor was interesting; I’m still a medical mystery. My ANCA test was negative but my anti nuclear antibody test was strongly positive. We discussed that and I said I had read up on it on Medscape. He said he was a full member of Medscape, being a doctor; I said “So am I! I have a password!” He seemed surprised and amused. He came up with a good idea during the course of the conversation which was mostly about my novel and the merits of the Amazon Kindle. He has just bought a Kindle but hasn’t tried it yet. The good idea! I mentioned that I had taken photos of the outside and he suggested I email the Chief Executive of the trust and ask permission to take photographs of the inside of the hospital too. This is a good idea. It will allow me to photograph the restaurant, the three things that appear to be very similar to cafes; the little supermarket and I could even photograph that corridor that looks like a concert hall. I was the only one in there; it echoed as I walked down there; the sound of my footsteps bouncing of the glass walls. I’m a member of the trust and regularly get emails from the CEO; so I may email her and ask for permission to snoop and photograph the super modern inside of the hospital. I used a photograph of one hospital building in a sci-fi video last night; that is how weird it is. On the new map it’s described as modular wards. It could be psychiatric or maybe it’s a clone research place; the windows are small and high up – it looks spooky.

    I made the big mistake of saying I felt better and compounded it by sounding like I knew what I was doing; he said come back in six months… I will take a long course of antibiotics in the meantime… They are for a skin problem but we hope they will also help settle my digestive system. I mentioned I had read about minocycline hydrochloride being used with some success in some autoimmune diseases like lupus; he seemed impressed; I’ll try not to sound like I know this stuff next time. I have to be careful; they’ll have me writing my own prescriptions.

    I have this weird idea at the back of my mind now. I keep thinking, if have photographs of the new super-hospital and video editing software; I could make a video! Cool! I could give the hospital foundation trust a FanPage on Facebook! I could be a consultant! I could make £70 an hour minimum for that – bugger it would be taxable… I could sell them the copyrights on the photographs and video! New car with the tax free money; this is brain storming my way to a new car…

    I have read Shari’s blog about influence and popularity. My writing is influential and my videos are popular and my humour is popular. My imaginary parrot is very popular; even Shari watched the video… She gave my friend Donna advice on Facebook about detoxifying and looking good. I’m not trying that, I’ve only just put 5 Kg on; I don’t want to lose weight! I must be about 143 lbs – I haven’t been this heavy for years. I don’t want to put any more on; I’ll have to exercise. My waist size is getting bigger, I think there are special exercises for changing that fat to muscles; I don’t fancy exercising…

    I’ve written 1129 words, I’ve warmed up now…

    The doctor at the hospital did make a positive diagnosis, Reynaud’s syndrome – my hands hurt when they get cold; that reminds me I must get an ice scraper for the car before the winter. It was bloody painful doing it with a MasterCard last year. There was no sign of my clone at the hospital and the overpowering smell of coffee had gone so he isn’t in the ventilation system. I’ll give you a password (Sierra Oscar) – I’ll use that tomorrow so you know it’s me and not my clone.

    Lunch will be cooked soon, my veggies are simmering. It’s raining persistently and I want to go to the Victorian sweet shop this afternoon. I was going to the ATM but will spend the afternoon accessing bank accounts online. I used the ATM at the hospital and my accounts don’t balance. It will take all afternoon to access three bank accounts and move all my money around. It’s worth it just to confuse the bureaucratic computers…

    I’ll be back after this short break…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 3, 2010

       I heard something about Farmville [FV]/game currency becoming as prevalent as “nonvirtual” money in a decade or so. I’m not certain I will be an Early Adopter of that. I’d have to change my thinking about money, I suspect.

       I’m watching a movie with my son right now called $9.99 — it’s an animated Israeli film, hugely funny and meaningful, and reminds me of your stuff. You might want to check it out . . . that is after you finish your Weird Al Yankovich video.

       Our Hospital Game “Let’s Play Doctor” can have traffic, traffic lights, petrol, and sweet shops, too. I’m not certain about whether we should have people weigh in or not. However, since Dieting, Diet Programs, and Diet Books are “popular,” perhaps we do need to incorporate them.

       Gotta clean up my “diet” shake blender . . .

       Reply
       1. 

          sharisax

          October 3, 2010

          Oh, yes, I wanted to call out the password so it would be easy to find: Sierra Oscar

          Reply
11. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 3, 2010

    I got my sweets from the Victorian sweet shop. Knew checking bank accounts would be a problem. So much went in and out of one account it was a mess. I tried to pay my car insurance – I did! Then they phoned me up and asked me to cancel that part of it that is for breakdown cover and buy home contents insurance with free breakdown cover… It works out I get home contents for about a £1.00! Then they refund some money and take some more out and everyone else is doing the same. I just checked if everything was right – but couldn’t get the balance right. I got fed up in the end and accepted it. My investments lost money because some idiot bought stock cheap and it went to £200 million and then the recession sent it to £2 million. He is upset, even more upset now they kicked him off the board of the company. There was no need to be stupid and block a takeover bid, it would have made him a million and me a few quid too; prat – the world is full of them. The bank deducted some tax it shouldn’t too. I will have to phone tomorrow; they will ask me to phone their idiot call centre that is full of dreamless people. I will stay on the phone to the head office until I get my money back!

    We have a terrorist alert in Britain now, I’m alright; there is nothing here worth blowing up except the new hospital. They tried to blow up the power lines and messed it up. They won’t try anything in the Black Country – they know we can be evil when we’re upset!

    I’ll cook dinner and spend the evening eating sweets… I need to stabilise my weight and waist measurement.

    PS: Sierra Oscar – it’s me.

    Reply
12. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 4, 2010

    Sierra Oscar – it is me and not a clone… Unless the clone got my password…

    Farmville

    If you find in the business you are going to lose no matter what, you can give in gracefully or fight to the bitter end. I am going to lose my lead at Farmville. What do I do; fight to the bitter end or accept this? Fortunately, I was born awkward… I shall accept it, but make it bloody difficult… 

    Technology

    I just had an Email from Amazon, the UK one not the big one across the pond… They sent me their latest offer on a HD video camera. They spy on me! How did they know I was making videos? I made a good one yesterday in HD (High definition) – it is brilliant; but very few people will see it because I can’t attach it to emails. I shall make another HD one that isn’t so weird and upload it to Facebook! This one was about Princess PinkKeira, the ruler of the Purple planet of purple people eaters, where as you probably know they worship the purple sun…

    The Al Yankowitz video came out funny but not for general release. ‘Whoops I farted again’, could get me sued by Britney Spears…

    I had an email offering me something that was a mystery even to me, after reading the blurb I realised it was computer memory. If I had said in college I was going to design something with a frequency that high, my lecturer would have told me I was nuts. It helps to be nuts when you’re trying to create the impossible. The quantum physicists are all a bit nuts but push the boundaries and we get better computers.

    Psychology

    Carl Jung had a very open mind; it is more interesting reading his stuff than Freud who was obsessed with his sexual fantasies and those of others. Freud also said something about psychoanalysing the rich could be very profitable; he was ahead of his time there. Create an illness and then find a cure for it… I’m working on a cure for being bi-polarised. I may forget the cure and offer a book for people with it that helps them be more acceptable by using their advanced creativity. Anyway, when some guy brought back the Book of Changes (IChing) from China; Carl Jung read it.

    I just remembered, we are about to go into a new phase in Chinese astrology, I must tell people. I just copied some data:

    2010 Feb 14 – Tiger
    2011 Feb 3 – Rabbit

    The Chinese New Year started on Feb 14 this year and goes to Feb 3 next year. I just did a calculation and I make the third quarter of the Chinese New Year start on Saturday 6th of November; so now you know. This is a period when Shari gets a good idea involving Christmas and I get bi-polarised into winter hibernation mode and become more apathetic than usual… November 10th is very conspicuous for Shari; I can’t remember why…

    The interesting thing is, the best time for Shari is the first quarter of the new Chinese New Year and it’s my best time too; this blog could be brilliant then. You can’t miss that! I shall be writing about writing for a major glossy magazine, having my new car delivered; trying out my new graphics tablet. Did I mention I want a graphics tablet and some drawing software? It’s to do slides for my videos and pictures of Pandowa the parrot. If I make loads of money, I’ll have a new laptop; I need more power for doing videos; that will be expensive. I wonder how much a super computer costs? They are a bugger to put on your lap though… I wonder what Shari will do? I think in California they do things differently, buy guns to shoot the paparazzi and that sort of thing. I can imagine her driving a Ferrari with the steering wheel on the left side of the car – they do that in California; I prefer mine on the right side. It will be one of those horrible automatic things… Yuk… She will have fun; she has a lot of lifts to pay back. I can imagine the drive down the freeway at 150 MPH and her passengers reminding her that there is a speed limit. There is no speed limit in a Ferrari for two reasons, the cops can’t catch you and if they do your fancy lawyer gets you off the ticket! I think Shari is sophisticated enough to have something European and cosmopolitan; rather than a cheap Corvette! Anyway, be nice to me and send a card on my birthday because it’s Chinese New Year two days later and then it’s fame and fortune time.

    Changing the subject…

    American corporations have been saving more money since the financial collapse of 2008. But a recent rush of blue-chip bond offerings — including a $4.75 billion deal last month by Microsoft, one of the richest companies in the world — has put even more money in their coffers.

    Corporations now sit atop a combined $1.6 trillion of cash, a figure equal to slightly more than 6 percent of their total assets. In the first quarter of this year it was 6.2 percent of assets, the highest level since 1964, when it was 6.4 percent.

    Why are major corporations borrowing money and not spending or investing it? It’s cheap that’s why! They borrow at 1 or 2 % now and that is less than the rate of inflation. It’s free money if the rate is below the inflation rate. The suckers, the people putting money into pension funds, savings and Microsoft bonds are getting ripped off. The principle involved here is a well known financial instrument called “Never give a sucker an even break”. It is very successful. Microsoft are world experts at this, I know; I have bought their software at least four times.

    The sun is shining again; the window cleaner came this morning. There is something wrong; it has taken me an hour to write 1,000 words… I know… It’s because it’s Monday morning, it’s that Monday morning feeling slowing me down – there is an explanation for everything. I have a share certificate to find to show I’m a share holder in a company that owes me money. I’ll mention the certificate number in my email asking for my money. I have to phone the bank, they owe me money… It sounds like a fun filled afternoon. I’ll cook lunch… That must be the best idea I’ve had today.

    I’ll be back…

    STOP PRESS: The snail mail arrived. I can forget finding that share certificate. Yes! A cheque for £100! My day just improved, chips for dinner…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 4, 2010

       THX for the astrological heads up. On November 10th I’ll be spending my first vacation day with grandbaby Tyler, whose not yet a Terrible Two. With daddy Brian [my son] and mommy Karen, Tyler will probably bypass that nasty stage and just continue on his way to be the great person he is to become. Now how can they all NOT want to read that!

       Mike, you neglected to mention [or I didn’t catch it] what was the “cheque” for? [besides chips for dinner]

       Re: big business, greed, “smart” borrowing, greed, corporate billionaires, etc — they don’t have our dreams, do they? BTW, last night I am so glad I woke about around 3:30 because I was in the midst of a dream that was the closest to a nightmare, and I do remember the part about continually having to outrun and outsmart some smarmy fellows who were trying to off me and mine. I could have remembered more when I just woke up, but I didn’t want to. I turned my romantic music on and thought of all the other things I’d rather be dreaming about.

       Two days ago I wrote the notes for a story on Influence and Popularity on the Internet. I published them as a post on SHARISAX IS OUT THERE: http://sharisax.com/2010/10/02/whats-really-wrong-with-the-like-buttons/
       Then I used them to write a Guest Post for another blog. Editor got it and wanted more. Now the two stories are very different. I didn’t get paid for either. But that’s OK . . . because Givers Gain, and the world knows we’re both going to be billionaires.

       What will I do with mine. Very easy. The minute I hit the billion dollar mark, I must give half of it away. [I wonder how much of that half will go back to the government for taxes?]

       After the taxes and the Big Bash, I’ll certainly buy a new car, and I’m open for suggestions. The Corvette is mostly for the photo above my blog.
       🙂
       Ciao

       Reply
13. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 5, 2010

    Tuesday in England. (Sierra Oscar – it’s me…)

    It’s Tuesday and I have nothing especially interesting to write about. Tomorrow will be better, I won’t be here at this time; I have a doctor’s appointment and will be blogging when I get back – this could be inspiring…

    I have written about rhetorical devices and psychological devices before. I’ll do it again just in case it didn’t sink in the first time. One rhetorical device involves repetition usually repeating a word three times; this is also a psychological device and being multi-functional makes it so much more effective. You can try this one at home. Think of some expletive you may use when hitting your thumb with a hammer and try shouting it out aloud three times. That really relieves stress, even if you haven’t smacked your thumb with a hammer. I have been using this and other rhetorical devices in my writing. My parrot, Pandora who can’t say Ar; poor thing, is addicted to tangerines and squawks, “Tangaweens, Tangaweens, Tangaweens,” at the very sight of them. It works doesn’t it? My psychological device has now embedded those three words deep in your mind; you can’t get rid of them no matter how hard you try. You will be doing something mundane later like driving and suddenly they will spring into your mind, “Tangaweens, Tangaweens, Tangaweens,” and you’ll smile and people will wonder why.

    I have been using this rhetorical-psychological device in my videos and variations on it. I did it in a Jake West video and I was about to take it to the next stage. I had a problem, the music was sent to me by the author who we refer to as Webby because he doesn’t like us using his first name. The bit rate on the music was too high and it made for a large file size and crashed the video editing program. I needed him to rip it at 128K; he doesn’t know how; bugger… The next stage in my master plan was a HD version and some improved sub-titling. Then upload it to Facebook and tag it with 50 names so they all get an email and they all view the video and when someone comments they get another email; this is social networking publicising Webby’s novel. He couldn’t rip the music at 128K and then someone else made a video without the rhetorical devices. This is where I use a rhetorical device to express my feelings, bugger, bugger, bugger… I tagged one of my original videos and then tested my master plan on a new video; it seems to be working. Shari commented just as I was about to go to bed. Some people liked the video.

    I made a video with moving pictures driving to the chip shop; the camera wouldn’t keep still, it kept sliding across the top of the dashboard. It did help, though; I now know it would be a good video, when that big van looked like it was going to hit me head on; the video got quite exciting… They are very interested in the Park Lane chip shop on the other side of the pond too; they only have Burger king and McDonald’s and bloody happy meals. I feel sorry for them at times.

    I had my friend on Windows Live earlier, I have mentioned him before; he is young and dreamless… I could get him to hold the camera and we could go for a drive and make a crazy video showing how moronically dreamless the drivers are around here…

    I had a dream yesterday; I went to sleep watching a video. It’s a recurring dream that started about 7 years ago. I walk into a public building, it could be a library, art gallery or something and I have dressed especially for the occasion. I think it could be a vision of the future, which would be a book signing or the premiere of my art exhibition or latest movie…

    I also dreamt that I was driving on to my driveway and it looked tidy. I was in a different car, too. That is a vision, I’m getting that new Insignia car and I don’t think they’re going to have the colour I want. It seemed to be nice to drive and had good brakes – my dreamless friend will be pleased, he always thinks I’ll hit the wall when I drive onto the driveway.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 5, 2010

       I remember when your kind of “Insanity” was discovered, promoted, became popular AND influential, and the Queen came to our Big Bash.

       Reply
14. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 6, 2010

    Lottery day. (Sierra Oscar – it is me, my clone can’t write this good…)

    Its lottery day; there is a mid-week draw tonight. I could be a millionaire by this time tomorrow. I’m wasting time now; I have an hour to go to my doctor’s appointment and nothing better to do than write this. I did Farmville and my email. My friend, Webby, was celebrating yesterday because he got the first hardback versions of his novel and has promised me a signed first edition. I’ll get excited when I can return the favour. He will have the paparazzi following him down the chip shop now; I’ll give advice on how to deal with them of course…

    My young friend came yesterday afternoon; he was depressed a couple of weeks ago and said everything had gone wrong in his life so far. We went out to make a video and he wanted to put my camera on the tripod and hold it out through the sunroof of the car. It was sod’s law that my camera would end up in a 1,000 bits all over the road. I said sod that, hold it and point it through the wind screen. I found something that he is quite good at; he did a reasonably funny commentary on the video. He didn’t hold the camera right. It does need to go on the tripod, but not out the sunroof; sod that…

    It is weird watching the video; my skill as an advanced driver shows, it is sort of style; it looks like I’m driving on rails and I hardly ever stop. I came up to roundabouts (Shari calls them rotaries) and I look ahead and rarely have to stop. When a bus pulled out and forced me into the kerb it was quite normal, but on video it looks scary! I did have a Ford Escort drive towards me quite fast and I had to accelerate fast to pull in and pass it; my friend made some comment about me being the ‘mad driver’. We did hit 50 down that road though which was fast for a side road. My friend was late and we had the dashboard on the video. But next time, if it is early or a Sunday, we can make a better one. It was a little like those police chase videos and will be more fun next time. We hit a lot of traffic and my friend kept directing me where to go. I ignored the directions of course; he has lived all his life with nothing going right according to him – why would I listen? The whole drive only took 10 minutes, but it seemed so much longer. The traffic was streaming off the motorway as the terminally moronic tried to get back home after a day of moving paper around their desks. You can tell I have a soft spot for office workers can’t you?

    Lateral thinking.

    What would you do if you ruled the world? What would you do if you ruled the country you live in? I will now explain an exercise in lateral thinking; this requires imagination. Dig deep, you probably have one…

    Imagine you are given the opportunity to live on a farm for 5 years and you are the ruler of this land. You decide what to do with your national wealth and all political policies. I’m on the farm next door. You can’t leave the farm once the experiment starts, but to make it easy for you we will arrange for you to have a million dollars worth of ‘stuff’ to help you survive. Now put your imagination in gear and we will begin. I’m finding somewhere to live — a little cottage or something and organising the small population of my farm, finding out who is good at what.

    I am asking questions and evaluating skills. What are you doing? I’m sorting out places for people to live preferably sharing accommodation because people living alone use more energy to keep warm and get lonely. I have decided to plant a copse; not to be confused with a corpse. A copse is like woodland and usually its willow, when they have grown to maybe ten foot high I’ll cut them down for logs. I have spent some of my million dollars already on a saw and trees; but when it gets cold and you’re freezing, I’ll have log fires… I can also make things out of the willow like fences and baskets. I’ll get some chickens; eggs are full of vitamins and stuff. I think I’ll have a few cows, I hate milk but some one will like the stuff. I’ll need gardening tools and seeds to grow vegetables. My million is starting to go down already… I think I’ll go for a tractor and plough and a lot of sunflower seeds. I will also need a press or something to press the seeds with. I can press fruit with that too. I need fruit trees and vines. I need a greenhouse! My million is going down fast now. I’ll plant sugar beet… I need 200 litres containers now to make wine; I can trade that with you over the farm gate for something useful; assuming you ever make anything useful. I think I’ll plant lots of herbs. I can make sunflower seed oil to run the tractor on now. A diesel generator would run on sunflower seed oil; I bet you haven’t got a diesel generator! I need cable and fittings to wire up my community for electric now. I’ll invite you around for a meal when I get the lights working, a nice meal in front of a log fire on a cold winter’s night…

    The end of month one.

    I have potatoes growing in a field, sunflower seeds, loads of vegetables and my electric is on in all the cottages. How are you doing? I had to buy some diesel out of my million dollars to last us until my sunflower seeds are ready to press. I also got an electric saw to cut timber to fix the barn. Do want to put in an order for veggies, wine, logs or anything? I’m glad I picked the farm with a well, how are you getting on carrying water up from that stream?

    Maybe, you see the point? Politically, what counts is water, somewhere to live, food and energy; the energy ideally should be renewable like my copse.

    I went to the doctors.

    I was writing this and nearly forgot the doctor’s appointment. I should make a video of that; it is hilarious. Most of the patients are Muslim so I sit there with the Muslim women in their weird dress. One lady came in a wheelchair; she had one leg and wasn’t registered with the doctor. The receptionist asked if she was Indian, I am tempted to shout, no a bloody cowboy! She answered yes, but the receptionist still treats her like an idiot and asks, “Not from Pakistan?” I got in to see the doctor. Then the fun starts. It is quite simple, he has to write a prescription for antibiotics like on the paper from the hospital and verify a low dose of a Class A drug for me. What can go wrong? The long discussion about what happened at the hospital is followed by a long discussion on antibiotics and he is now trying to sort out an oxytetracycline that isn’t coated in tartrazine for me; I will end up fixing that myself. He mentioned another test during the course of the conversation; I thought he will forget and I will too.

    My last antibiotic didn’t work, but no worries, I’m taking a long course of antibiotics now. Why didn’t I tell him the last one didn’t work? I just did! Then on to the Class A drug and I get a lecture about that and how dangerous it is. I think, now you tell me I have been taking a high dose for years and now I’m on a very low dose it’s dangerous? It’s addictive, I’m still coming off slowly, sod withdrawal symptoms, been there, done that… I finally got out with after a quick update on how my novel was doing. I don’t know if he understood when I told him the synopsis was with Penguin; but he seemed impressed. I didn’t mention my clone in the basement at the hospital; he would have had me down for a transplant…

    I made it and with luck the pharmacist will deliver my pills later. He noticed that I had the Class A drug twice in May on his computer screen, I got around that by pointing out I skipped a month in August. He is trying to leave me short of pills, devious sod, he thinks I’ll cut down then; I’m more devious – I got double in May.

    Its website updates again this afternoon. I shall do Jakewest.co.uk and tell everyone the good news that Webby has his book out in hardback. I’ll try to do the competition again, first prize is a signed copy of Webby’s new book, second prize – two copies.

    Tomorrow:

    How I messed up at Farmville because I was making videos, writing essays for Chinese students, doing blogs and websites and messing around generally getting my book published. How patience will get me a new credit card… Part two of my efforts to get the essay right for my Chinese student friend. I have a busy afternoon – lunch…

    I’ll back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 6, 2010

       I remember when you signed that first edition copy of your novel for me . . . and the advice I gave you to offer Starbucks gift cards to the paparazzi, telling them you’d meet them there later. You do have Starbucks, don’t you?

       My problem with “office workers” when I had had some working for me — was that they didn’t Work, that is, except for Melissa. She was Awesome. Give her anything to do, and it was t’ done. So the next time I had to hire someone, I advertised for a Melissa. I didn’t get enough applicants. I wonder why.

       . . . I thought the Lateral Thinking exercise was going to teach me to play Farmville, but I suspect I must wait until tomorrow.
       When I didn’t get the lesson, I decided to just take the promised million dollars and divide it in half. Of course, I kept half, but the other $500.000. went to Melissa so she could hire more people and tell them all what to do.

       If you’d like help with the marketing essay, ask me any one question . . . after all I was a marketing prof . . . and I did work for Wal-Mart

       Reply
15. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 7, 2010

    Sierra Oscar, I’m back…

    I liked the way you spent half your lateral thinking farm money delegating the work to Melissa; personally I do find it hard to delegate. I always find it quicker to do it myself.

    The marketing essay had to be done by this afternoon Beijing time… It’s 7pm in Beijing – good job I emailed it yesterday – a copy and paste job off the Carrefour marketing site in Canada and the same sort of thing with Walmart. They can access Wikipedia in China but not Facebook, Youtube and a lot of other sites. Think Windows Live may have been stopped now; I’m not sure if it’s my friend’s computer or Windows Live. She appears to be having trouble accessing it with her phone too…

    Farmville.

    I was resigned to losing my lead at Farmville. I had a lead of 120,000 that was quickly cut to 100,000. My friend went on holiday and across on the other side of the pond they can buy Farmville cash in stores. I suspect that is what she did. To make matters worse I was distracted by other things and when all the wine-making stuff changed on Farmville I missed something.

    In the winery was an icon to click on: you use one bushel of fruit to increase you XP (experience points) when harvesting. They changed everything overnight, which is a big mistake in business; where was the icon to ‘use’ a bushel? I searched the winery – it was gone. They must have changed the rules of the game, no worries. They hadn’t changed the rules, they moved the icon and it was no longer in the winery. I accidentally found it and then couldn’t find it again but knew it existed somewhere… it took days to find it was lurking in a fruit stall, click the fruit stall and there are menus there and click ‘use’ a bushel before harvesting, that will give me over 600 extra XP a day.

    I have lost around 3,000 XP looking for that, maybe more. My lead was down to 50,000 this morning, but I have fought back. Remember my plan to make a good wine and sell it at a high price; my friend is doing that! Now for some lateral thinking… If she is making an expensive wine, who can afford to buy it? Who is the richest player who can afford to pay over 3,000 coins for a batch of wine? Me, of course! I stopped buying her wine, which must have been a severe blow!

     I pulled about 2,000 XP with a little devious play this morning so extended my lead to 52,000 and so all is not lost; the Farmville cash she bought could have run out. It always pays to keep trying even when you think it’s useless. You do have to choose between a winery, bakery or spa when playing Farmville. I don’t remember paying for the winery, I chose it because I know about wine, but most other players chose winery too, and so I can trade with them. I buy bakery goods and spa goods and trade them for fuel, but it’s not that good to choose bakery or spa. You have to multi-task to play successfully.

    I’m writing with grapes on 99% and need harvesting soon. I started a wine making co-op and so they will be replaced with even more grapes. It gets complicated; yesterday I had so much fruit I had nowhere to store it, and so it went to waste; now I have storage and need fruit!

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

    Meanwhile, I had an email from someone who visited my website asking for advice about programming a computer in assembly language; he’ll be lucky! He sounds like me! He started learning programming at 14 and is now 17 and learning C++ and assembly; he has offered his services if I need programming done.

    This kid could be useful… The one side of your brain is active for logic like programming and electronics and the other side for creative stuff. I was like him when I was young, logical to the point of being Spocky. I switched sides and now I’m creative; this kid is still logical. I can use that, he has the patience to find numbingly boring things like writing a program interesting. He wants to design an operating system; he fancies being the next Bill Gates; but not so nerdy. He needs a mentor and I could be just the person to take advantage of his whizz kid attributes and encourage them…

    Starbucks: I have never actually seen a Starbucks; they put them where people have more money than sense and so there aren’t any around here. I write about them a lot. I think people sit in Starbucks discussing investments in that famous square mile in London we call the ,i>‘city’. Young people who get into a “good” university like Oxford or Cambridge — but are totally dreamless — and come out with a degree in something useless end up in the city trading equities and drinking coffee in Starbucks. They often have assistants with computers that send emails all day. They send jokes to their friends, check out Facebook and tweet what nail varnish they are wearing today.

    I’m on form today; I went from a pointed Spocky Star Trek joke to Starbucks without batting an eyelid. Do you remember Star Buck? He was in Battlestar Galactica, he was played by Dirk Benedict. That is going back a bit to the days when I watched television and they had proper programs on. That was before Simon Cowell…

    I have had 24 hours to think about the advice the doctor gave me; it was 50% crap. I don’t have Reynaud’s syndrome like the hospital doctor said according to him or my hands would go white. I was in the chip shop last night, looking at my white fingers thinking he was a prat and noticed everyone looking at me wondering why I was looking at my white fingers. I got my class A drug but I’m still waiting on the tartrazine-free tetracycline; he could surprise me and get that right…

    My bank has invited me to have a credit card for a limited period only. I’ll post the letter later. This is important, its guaranteed acceptance. Someone in their Bangalore call centre told me to just apply for one; the poor soul doesn’t understand our financial system. If you apply for a credit card they turn you down! If you get an invitation and its guaranteed acceptance and you’re quick – you actually get the card. Avoid being turned down because next time you apply they will ask if you have ever been turned down for credit; you say yes and they turn you down again – this in the UK is called banker’s logic… I don’t need credit, but will have the 56 days free credit anyway, this is called Mike’s logic… The CEO of Capital One bank is still a prat and can now stick his credit card; I’m having one from a British bank…

    If you find this blog confusing, the pond is the Atlantic Ocean; the frogs are on this side. People who dream are intelligent; I had a night of dreaming and have a headache – dreamless people are stupid. Tartrazine is E120 also called sunset yellow or something similar – a food colouring anyway. Simon Cowell is a person on television who makes you want to turn the contrast down when he smiles and the sound down the rest of the time. Spock had pointed ears and came from Vulcan; the logical planet. I cleared that up well. Any questions?

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 7, 2010

       Mike, it is always easier to get stuff done right if you do it yourself . . . unless you find Melissa, i.e., someone to Listen Carefully, Read Carefully, and Follow All Directions. Sorry for the schoolmarmishness, but I just can’t help it sometimes.
       🙂
       BTW, you were in such Great Form today that I am beginning my campaign to expand the word about you. If people only realized how easy it was to start the day with a smile by reading Mike Maynard, then the entire world would be at Peace, playing Farmville and not stabbing their “friends” and enemies in the back.

       Reply
16. 

    Faith Kinslow

    October 8, 2010

    Mike and Shari:
    I read a number of your posts today. Mike, you are a very interesting writer. Tell that junior editor that an award-winning Senior Copywriter from New York City said that. If she’s not impressed, invite her for a cup of spiked tea. That should loosen her up. And while she’s tipsy, read her the first chapter of your book. When she gets really interested, tell her that you’ll give her a private reading AFTER she sends your manuscript to her boss. No, I have a better idea. Invite her and her boss to a private reading of your first chapter at that fancy address. As soon as they walk in, offer them a cocktail (make them very strong). Don’t offer them canapes until they’ve downed at least 2 cocktails. After that, start the reading. Anything will look and sound good to them. That’s it. You’re on your way to fame.

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 8, 2010

       Faith, you are so cool. I’m glad you’re back
       🙂
       BTW, it seems like “I’ll be back” is one of our refrains
       🙂
       Can you play the Remember When game? You just “remember when” something really great that you want to happen . . . has happened, e.g., I remember when I finished my first play and on the same day Sandra Bullock called me and wanted to play the lead when it got to Broadway.
       🙂

       Reply
17. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 8, 2010

    Lateral thinking. Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    Thank you Faith for your kind words, I was thinking about going shopping for alcohol. I have to admit I considered whether I should have a drink this Christmas or not; I decided – not. I’ll get over the drug addiction first…

    I’ll do some corrections from yesterday and explain that E numbers are codes for nasties in food and drink, anyway Tartrazine is E102, I got the number wrong yesterday. It’s not sunset yellow either, sunset yellow is the nasty in the fizzy drink I took to hospital with me in case I was thirsty. Sunset yellow is E110. The E in E numbers is for Europe…

    I had to email a friend and criticise her writing, I got an email back this morning and she thanked me for pointing out the mistakes but didn’t accept all my advice. She didn’t quite get that certain words are associated with certain things. I tried to explain the word joked is better than jested because the latter is usually used in a condescending manner; I hope she stops using it and then I won’t have to keep changing it. We are co-writing a novel, it started as an exercise, but it’s quite good. I need my friend to re-write chapter two – it stinks. I need to re-write a chapter and the chapter I read last night needs extensive editing. I’ll have a go at improving it this afternoon.

    Farmville:

    My friend played Farmville this morning and narrowed the lead again; usually it’s by around 10,000 XP. This morning she went well over 10,000 and that confirms she is buying FV cash. I have made things difficult. If you spend money in Farmville, you get XP. Buy a villa for 1,000,000 coins and you get 10,000 XP. If you are not good at math, take two zeros off the million to get 10,000. That is 1% of a million. The same applies to most things you buy in the Farmville market.

    Now we ask the question… Is there an exception to this rule? Yes, there is and it’s driving my friend nuts! She knows there is an exception, I told her! You can buy one item for 100 coins and get 5 XP, which is 5%; 5 times as much as usual but it takes time. We are of course back to time management. I am better at that and have a faster computer and I’m faster on the keyboard. I didn’t pull my lead out to as much as yesterday, but I have made it difficult without spending real money. I did have to do my email and write this and I am not going to play Farmville all day. I am still in danger of losing my lead – but I still cling on like grim death!

    More science.

    To sleep, perchance to dream… Yes, my dreamless ones we are back to the fascinating subject of sleep. We have so far found that smart people dream and stupid people probably don’t; they are the dreamless ones… Scientists call this REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep because we dream at high speed; we wake up after a minute of dreaming and think hours have gone by. Why do we dream? We are rehearsing for the future, trying to solve the problems and relive the problems of the past to find better ways of coping in the future. We pre-determine how we will react to future events. This is interesting and it leads to a phenomenon called déjà vu; we suddenly get a feeling we have done this before, seen this before or been here before – we dreamt it! We may even be able to predict the future to a certain extent. If a child runs out in front of my car, do I brake or do I swerve? I have already decided in advance to swerve in most cases and it has happened a few times. This is all pre-determined and our driving although it appears to be automatic is pre-determined. We can pre-determine how we are going to feel in a particular situation and I told some ‘experts’ on psychology this in a meeting once. If I am going to hospital I get nervous, but I have a pre-determined sequence of behaviour I go through even though I am nervous. Once I get there, the nervousness disappears — the moment I walk in the hospital. Often it passes as soon as I have parked the car! This is because I made it through the traffic and managed to find a parking space. We can’t consciously change our dreams, but we can consciously change our day-dreams using our imagination. We can think laterally and outside of the box.

    I had a problem… I always have problems… One of them is whether the accents on déjà vu will display when I paste this in to the blog! The other one I mentioned briefly yesterday. It was suggested to me last Saturday that I get permission to photograph the inside of the new super-hospital. This sounds like a good networking idea but how do I network this opportunity? I was looking at it all wrong. I was thinking about driving to the hospital and taking photographs and whether to use a tripod or not. The solution to my problem was obvious and I couldn’t see it! I may take some good photographs, maybe not; I’m not a photographer. I thought about social networking, I know about that. Maybe the hospital would be interested; the university has a Facebook page. I have to go when virtually no staff will be there though and that isn’t good for networking.

    What is the answer to the problem? I’m a writer; first contact will be an email to the CEO – that is the real window of opportunity! Eureka! I can impress her without a meeting, doing what I do best. Lateral thinking can be just looking from a different angle and seeing what in front of your nose more clearly. My window of opportunity with a publisher resulted in the best stuff I have ever written all going into an email. I always treat letters and emails as important if I want to influence people. I now need a little one-paragraph story to open my email with and a few funny lines. I need funny lines! I wrote a letter once and when I phoned the office the lady said that letter was read out to the whole office – it was hilarious. I only said, I work miracles everyday but the impossible takes a little longer… I have to work on getting the CEO to pass on a few funny lines to all the executives, preferably with my name. There is no need to mention LinkedIn, the signature on the email will do that and the same applies to my website. I could alter my website a little; she is bound to be curious? I’ll consider a photograph of the hospital on my website…

    The company I buy my gas and electricity from is Spanish-owned, and I had a call from someone trying to appeal to my sense of patriotism and persuade me to change to the only British company left. I have been with them before though, and all energy companies are the same and their salesmen would sell their souls to the devil for extra commission. He said he would come back after I had checked the figures; I hate that. I like time to do calculations and check out their website and see what the devious prats are up to. My mind has gone blank, I’ll do some day dreaming while I cook lunch and see if I can pre-determine a better afternoon… I’ll cook lunch, my fingers are going white again and I’m hungry…

    Award winning Senior Copywriter from New York… I’m impressed…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 8, 2010

       “The Art to Criticizing Friends” seems like a good title for something.

       Just for the benefit of those who are afraid of long posts, here’s Mike’s line from above that cracked up entire office of doctors and staff: “I work miracles every day, but the impossible takes a little longer.”

       Speaking of British Wit, I had the opportunity to watch the premiere of the film “The King’s Speech” about George VI and his stammering problem with Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. Marvelous experience — at the Mill Valley Film Festival, which just began yesterday.

       Reply
18. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 9, 2010

    Sierra Oscar, I’m back…

    Sierra Oscar is phonetic for SO, for the benefit of any new readers. It’s my password so that Shari knows it’s me and not my clone that lives in the basement of the new super-hospital and has access to their computers. I just referred to my clone as a ‘who’ and my spell checker changed it to ‘that’ – it’s Microsoft, they discriminate against clones and treat them as non-people. My clone is starting equality for clones’ campaign and organising a petition to Bill Gates…

    Farmville

    My friend closed the gap and my lead at Farmville went to below 45,000 yesterday morning; I sent it back to 58,000 by the end of the day – I can be bloody awkward some days… She is not so active this morning and my lead is still over 50,000 but she has a day off work and so will play all day like an addict.

    They keep offering me Farmville cash for real money; not a hope in hell of getting me to part with real money. I’m running a very exclusive co-op again; I’m the only member. I will get a silver award though and every little helps.

    To sleep, perchance to dream.

    Yes, we are back to the subject of sleep. You remember of course that the smart people dream and the stupids are dreamless. I mentioned déjà vu yesterday; it can be caused by dreams. It was only a few hours later and yes, I had that déjà vu feeling and it was a dream that caused it. One guy actually started having lucid dreams when he was young and practices having them and making a record of them. He makes money from his lucid (they seem real) dreams. He calls himself a visionary and claims to see the future. I dreamt I was on the operating table and the nurse pulled the sheet over my head! Agghh… I’m going to die, I’m going to die. Did this dream come true? No, even I can’t blog if I’m dead – dreamless!

    I lived, but the dream did come true. I will explain; I dreamt the nurse pulled the sheet over my head. I didn’t dream I was dead! If I was dead, I wouldn’t have seen her pull the sheet over me head would I? Anyway, fast forward from the dream six long years and I’m on the operating table all psyched up to have my eye cut open and the lens replaced and the sheet over my head and déjà vu… I have been here before, in that bloody dream…

    Spooky

    If you think that was spooky, yesterday was spooky. I was going to do a Frugal Friday with money-saving tips; I may do a Freaky Friday blog instead. Besides my déjà vu feeling I also had one of my online friends suicidal again. Why do half my online friends want to die? I know having me as a friend can be stressful but I’m not that bad! This is usually a cry for help; they want attention. In my early days as a counsellor, I didn’t give them attention; I made the error of thinking they would just demand more attention. I became older and wiser: they not only want attention; they need attention. Yesterday was worrying; I thought for the first time that my friend may actually do it… I think I gave my friend enough reasons to live. I was shocked however at how much people rely on me and feel I am like part of their family.

    Live long and prosper…

    More science… I have had a lot of illness and now I’m older and wiser, I find out the secret to good health and long life… That is sods law, why didn’t anyone tell me this when I was young? I will explain as usual. We adapt all the time and evolve; that is why it’s stupid to change Farmville overnight and hide the use bushel icon in a bloody fruit stall! It should have been changed gradually, evolved, so I can adapt… How do we adapt to disease? We produce antibodies like T-lymphocytes (T-cells) and they produce a chemical that destroys nasties like viruses and bacteria. The latest scientific evidence shows that we produce T-cells even when there isn’t a nasty to destroy! Freaky! If you’re a nice person and you go and visit people in hospital, take them grapes and stuff like that you will see a lot of old ladies who volunteer for that sort of thing. They push trolleys around for years in the UK taking books, newspapers and stuff to patients and they give them a pressie if they make it to 100 years old. No one asks why these old dears live so long, until now! They see sick people and think ‘I don’t want to catch that!’ and they produce T-cells; they protect themselves from disease by looking at it! Freaky! I know what you’re thinking… Does this work for doctors and nurses? Yes and no, it does to a certain extent but they adapt to being adapted and after a while their immune systems stop producing all the extra T-cells. They are healthier than most people though and if it wasn’t for all the booze and drugs would live as long as those nice old ladies that push the trolleys around.

    Now you know how to stay healthy I will explain how to live longer.

    Yes, live longer by following this simple advice. More research has been done and it seems if you don’t get enough sleep or too much sleep you don’t live so long. When you get older you need less sleep and for most people it is 7 or 8 hours if you’re over 50 years old. This, it has been shown in a study, helps people live longer; the sleepless and the over-sleepers die younger. I am OK, I go to bed early, watch TV, go to sleep at the same time roughly and get up when the alarm goes off – except this morning… I’ll get a pressie when I get to 100 years old and a letter from the Queen of England…

    This blog seems shorter than usual, yet it’s over a 1,000 words… Freaky…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 9, 2010

       YUP, Brilliant & Amazing
       1) If your clone has free time, I’ve got a few errands Stateside for “it” [i.e. a “that” instead of a “who”]
       2) Silver Award?
       3) People paying Real $$ for FV$$ ?
       4) Deja vu: One science teacher told my high school class [way back when] that that particular phenomenon was nothing more than brain cells spitting and you seeing the same thing twice and thinking you’d seen it before. [BTW, I’m grave-challenged . . . and can’t easily insert the necessary punctuation marks above letters]
       5) Having people depend on us is both flattering and draining
       BE WELL, Mike.
       We need you

       Reply
19. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 10, 2010

    Dreamless?

    Sierra Oscar – it is the eccentric writer from across the pond…

    I nearly pasted in a Chinese student’s essay then! 🙂

    If you are following this blog, you will know that smart people dream, stupid people are dreamless and writers’ dream even when they are awake. I just looked at what my rival in Farmville is planting… She planted strawberries at 3 am this morning; this is not unusual – but at 3 in the morning? I was asleep, dreaming… Strawberries take 4 hours to grow; she needed to harvest at 7 am! I was still asleep and still dreaming… She also planted at around 7 am and again at 10 am… The plot thickens… When does she sleep? When does she dream? No, she’s not a writer… I’m still 50,000 XP in front, actually 54,000 I added another 4,000 after I had finished dreaming… This is seriously spooky… How to you compete with a sleepless, dreamless one?

    Daybreak

    I got out of bed on automatic as usual and opened the curtains after a night of dreaming. I did wake early and thought about lines for the novel I was going to edit today. I had half opened the curtains and I saw something on the lawn; it looked like the squirrel; it had a bushy tail. It was not bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, more like blurry-eyed and still comatose. I got my glasses from the bedside cabinet; it was the squirrel! Why was she sitting up straight on her back legs pretending to be a statue and where was her new born baby? Where was the randy sod that got her pregnant? Why didn’t I have my camera? This is the first time she has stayed still long enough for me to take a photograph — apart from that time she lay down in the sun and we thought she had snuffed it…

    This was a mystery and she was off like a greyhound with its tail on fire, up the tree and I attempted to remember what I do first thing in the mornings. I was suddenly on conscious mode and had to think; I couldn’t switch back to automatic mode… I haven’t seen her since; I would have thought she would be swinging through the trees while the weather is reasonable. They will be freezing their nuts off in a couple of months… he will be anyway… Ok, I’ll change the subject, no more squirrely-nut jokes…

    My brother visited yesterday; we had a discussion about writing. We don’t usually talk about my writing, but I think he actually believes I’ll get my novel published now. I mentioned the novel I’m co-writing and he came up with some good ideas. One character is a Goth by night and a hair stylist by day. At night she is called Cougar and by day my co-writer decided to called her Mary… I thought bloody Mary, no young 20’s-something would be called Mary… Their dreamless mothers named them Kylie or Brittany (they can’t spell either) or if they are marginally dreamless they are called Madison or Rachel if they watched Friends over and over… I remember when all young girls were named Tracy or Sharon. I had a friend named Tracy and she said when she worked on the checkout in the supermarket someone would call Tracy and half the girls would turn around… My brother came up with some ideas and we brainstormed to some funnies…

    “What’s your name, then?” he was asked.

    “Er…, Mary, my mum was very religious,” Mary replied, “It was probably an immaculate conception, I never knew my dad…”

    Just at that moment, her Virgin phone rang. She took a sip of that cheap Virgin Cola before answering it… She stared at the Mates condoms on the shelf in the Salon and read the name Virgin and Mary wondered ‘Why is everything made by Virgin?’

    I’ll keep working on that… I don’t have to write more about Carrefour and Wal-Mart afterall; my friend in China wanted me to correct her grammar, not do more research. I have just introduced her to her new word – suburban. Carrefour, being French, put supermarkets in Chinese cities; Wal-Mart, being American, bought cheap land outside of the cities in the suburbs and put the supermarkets away from residential areas. This was an obvious mistake by Wal-Mart, but Wal-Mart still appeared to be the more successful of the two companies – perhaps they were closer to suppliers. I am writing this and helping with an essay 8,000 miles away… Spooky and freaky… The last sentence was: There was a lack of convenient transportation to the suburban supermarkets of Wal-Mart and this had an adverse affect on their sales.

    This is multi-national, multi-tasking; even my clone can’t do this… In recent years Wal-Mart has gradually changed strategies and moved away from the suburbs and into the cities.

    My super-hospital storeys continued…

    I put a photograph of the new super-hospital on Facebook. Of course, someone on the other side of the pond said they have a bigger and better one… I’ll photograph all of it next time. They are probably showing off again, it’ll be 50 storeys high and you can see London out of the window. I like the design of our hospital. It is only two storeys where the in-patients are; which makes for fire safety. It probably has automated fire doors; the old part has automated fire doors. People die from smoke inhalation and so it’s important to stop smoke spreading. They also have two huge hydraulic lifts outside that could be used for rescue; after they finish fixing the leaky roof…

    I worry about fire, especially when I’m lying in a hospital bed paralysed. I must write about that one of the days. I was lying there with an intravenous drip into each arm trying not to scratch my nose; paralysed and not able to sit up when this guy comes running up. He was dressed in a jogging suit and trainers, had the sun tan, blond hair and blue eyes. His name as you may expect was Jonno! He was as you wouldn’t expect, the physiotherapist who had come to give me some exercise! To be continued…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 10, 2010

       I did have to read parts of today’s blog aloud to my husband; I fear he may be dreamless 🙁
       He didn’t laugh when I read the part about names . . . perhaps I was laughing too much and he didn’t hear the part about Tracy.

       …on pins and needles [apropos hospital chatter] . . . waiting for more hospital chatter

       Reply
20. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 11, 2010

    Sierra Oscar – it is I…

    Déjà vu

    On Saturday I wrote about déjà vu and in the evening I put the TV on to look at the EPG (electronic program guide) and decided to watch the end of the National Lottery programme in bed and then the film that started right after it on BBC3. I can’t stand the presenter of the lottery programme; he thinks being gay is some sort of art form… He is the sort of person that makes you swear at the TV and miss the bloody numbers. I was listening to the programme in bed and harvesting a Farmville crop. My mind switched off, I think, when I heard the prat say ‘is that your final answer?’ for the 5,000th time. He is more irritating than the ‘guys’ at Microsoft who are bloody obsessed with ‘are you sure?’ I missed the numbers… The most bloody exciting part of the week and I missed it… I watched the film, I not making this up; the title really was Déjà Vu! The hero was an investigator of some kind who goes to investigate when a ferry blow up full of sailors, women and children. I won’t tell you what happens in case you haven’t seen it…

    Yesterday, I mentioned Mary and Virgin and so last night’s film was of course The Da Vinci Code; what else? If you haven’t seen it, it’s a sort of search for the Holy Grail. The religious mystery in my novel is better. There are more laughs in my novel, too; I hope they make it into a film before I snuff it.

    I have that Monday morning feeling. Squirrelly nut was on the lawn again this morning, still no sign of baby squirrelly nut… It’s cold but the sun is shining. The apples are red on the trees but too high to reach, not that I’m bothered.

    I have to email someone about writing later; he may be interested. He has a good, news-type website, technically brilliant; but his writing isn’t very good and he appears to be writing everything himself – he must be more sleepless than my Farmville neighbour. My Farmville neighbours are quiet this morning; they must have that Monday morning feeling, too.

    I was thinking about riding my bike when I was school, and couldn’t remember how old I was. I’m amazed at some of the stuff I did when I was young. I got started on the herbal flavoured sweets from the Victorian sweet shop because my grandfather kept them in a tin in his cupboard. He would give me a sweet when I took their Sunday lunch. Sundays were quite special; it started with lighting coal fires and then a traditional English fried breakfast — hence the many references to ‘smelling the bacon’ in my novel. Then I would go to the pub with a quart bottle and fetch beer and then on my cycle with lunch in the saddle bag for my grandparents. A late lunch was good after a fried breakfast.

    We still listened to the radio in those days; Archie Andrews was a ventriloquist’s dummy – on the radio. You never saw the ventriloquist’s lips move…

    Hospital storeys

    My Gran ended up in hospital and my sister and I would cycle the 3 miles to the hospital every week to visit. It was bloody awful. Gran fortunately didn’t know where she was; in fact most of the patients on the large ward didn’t know where they were. The lady in the next bed thought she was still in the classroom teaching children. My granddad meanwhile got a dog to keep him company. I didn’t like dogs, but I liked that one and when it went missing I searched everywhere for it; but I think someone stole it. My granddad fell in front of an open fire and with no dog to raise the alarm, he died. We didn’t tell Gran, it was bad enough that she was in the dreaded workhouse. We didn’t tell her which hospital she was in – it used to be the workhouse and she was really scared of the workhouse. If you remember the workhouse from the Oliver Twist film you will get some idea what the Victorian workhouse looked like. They demolished a lot of it a few years ago and that is where the new super-hospital is now. They have a bigger ‘supper’ hospital on the other side of the pond; but who cares… They will demolish the remainder of the workhouse soon. I would take bets that the super-hospital doesn’t last as long as the Victorian workhouse.

    Anyway, we will return to 2003 and my second stay in hospital that year. Jonno has jogged down the ward, sun-tanned, smiling and wearing his best jogging suit and trainers. I’m lying in the hospital bed with a bag of white stuff hanging above the bed to my left connected to my left arm by a plastic tube to feed me and liquids from a bag to my right into an IV in my right arm. You really don’t want to know where the other plastic tube was going… (stand-by there is a joke coming…). My digestive system is blocked, my pancreas inflamed and my back muscles paralysed and Jonno has to exercise me. No worries… Pull me up and shove my legs out of bed… Jonno, doesn’t know I had major surgery six months earlier on my hip and need a couple of walking sticks to walk as far as the plastic tubes will stretch. Walking the three steps wasn’t so bad, but we have a communications problem. He can’t hear me and I can’t hear him for the bloody drip alarms. “Press the nurse call button and they will fix them!” he said. 🙂 I was advised by a nurse that if you want a nurse to come; you have to know the right buttons to press. I had already tried it in the shower, it didn’t work… Walking backwards on two sticks trying not to get your tubes tangled isn’t easy… Have I mentioned my cough? This is all because I coughed… If you cough, it can be the first sign of pneumonia and you get that from lying in bed doing nothing and no exercise; worse than pneumonia – it could be MRSA! Yes, I was put into isolation to stop a bloody MRSA outbreak. I was put in my own little room to slowly go nuts and if that wasn’t bad enough, they put my bed next to the radiator. I was slowly cooking for two days; and no matter what buttons I pushed – I still couldn’t make a nurse to come… Then after two long days, it was Jonno to the rescue, I just had to try to explain how to get the brake of the bloody bed and then he pulled the bed to the middle of the room and I had my three steps of exercise and cooled down.

    Things started to pick up… They brought a new television in; boredom was over… It wasn’t for me; it was for the lady in the posh nightie that was having my private ward. I was back in general population to spread my germs. Now things looked up. They were short of beds and so the women were put in a bay next to the one I was in and they had to walk through past my bed to the bathroom. Now, young girls in short nighties walking past my bed a few times a day may not sound much to you; but when you’re paralysed with three tubes in you and a bloody cough – any distraction helps. I was put back on food! It was hot water; I think it must have had some sort of contact with a carrot and a fleeting moment with an onion… They called it soup. I forgot I was put back on water first, 6 whole teaspoons every hour… Then all the nurses disappeared. I didn’t make them go; I couldn’t even make them come… The nurse in charge threatened to resign on the spot if she didn’t get help. It was a bit much and I was going into activist mode. They sent an extremely dreamless male nurse to help… He stood around looking dreamless. He came in useful eventually when he carried my bags to the place where I waited for a taxi to take me home. I was just getting to the stage where I was well enough to enjoy pressing buttons and they discharged me…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
21. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 12, 2010

    You may say, I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one.

    People are tweeting, You may say, I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one. I wrote that the other day and someone said it was from a John Lennon song… The question is who stole it from whom? I have always been a dreamer even before he sang that. We had our own club of sorts where we listened to Beatles songs. It was in my friend’s shed; I put the electricity supply in. My friend wasn’t very tall but one of the twelve disciples who I helped get out of a horrible school and win a scholarship to a grammar school. I also got them out alive which was an even greater accomplishment. We had several hundred juvenile delinquents wanting to beat the crap out of us on the last day. They were all dreamless morons and so not too difficult to outsmart. I’ll tell that story one day – it is quite funny.

    I couldn’t get to sleep last night and woke at daybreak, but at least I had been dreaming. I was helping Chinese students all yesterday afternoon; I woke at daybreak this morning with my living room full of Chinese students all asking me to put a present perfect into their essays… I may have a problem with these students. Being popular at school didn’t bother me; everyone thought I was nuts – that was good enough. They didn’t bother me too much in case I threatened to blow up the school again or fill it with hydrogen sulphide. I sympathise with geeks who aren’t as inventive as me though. I was giving all the kids electric shocks in primary school. My friend may be a geek; she works hard and studies; her classmates are idle by comparison. I think they are making fun of her and she is not popular. I said I would stay out of it, but I may have made things worse by sending her a birthday card. The popular dreamless ones don’t know me; I was born to make fun of people… One of them talked to me yesterday, I think she is going along with the rest, perhaps reluctantly. I had that happen to me when my friend joined the other dreamless delinquents and became the enemy. It is hard making fun of people when they are dreamless and 8,000 miles away; but not impossible. I could make a video, upload it to Facebook and Youtube, wait a month and upload it to the Chinese version of Youtube – that could be fun. When I told one student that squirrelly nut had a baby she asked. “Where did she get it from?” 🙂 I don’t think she wants that quote to go public!

    It is partly a culture problem, a clash between the traditional Chinese culture that says work hard, study, be polite and be correct. Then there is the Western culture that is being adopted by the popular and dreamless that is lazy, impolite and can be quite cruel. It is difficult to get a balance between the rigid Chinese culture and the far too relaxed Western culture. The former drives students to suicide trying to conform and the latter allows them to rebel but at a cost; the cost being paid in later life when they end up as dreamless no hopers.

    My friend already had a problem that I was hoping to work on. I am 185 cm and male and in English culture this is an advantage. I met someone about 2 years ago and she was disadvantaged. Her parents are Indian, she is less than average height and she is female – this puts her at a disadvantage. It gets worse because she may as well have ‘victim’ written on her forehead; she attracts abusive and controlling men and this has caused her severe problems. I couldn’t help her recognise the behavioural indictors to look for and the body language of those men – I wish I could. I may have to explain this phenomenon to my Chinese friend before she comes to England to do post graduate studies. Being a victim because you are perceived as a geek is one thing; becoming a victim because of racism is worse. Chinese girls are attracted to tall men and the abusers are all taller than them, they have a psychological advantage and know it. I have a couple of years to explain, but the popular girl may not listen. I’ll concentrate on the dreamer.

    I wonder if listening to Hard day’s night, has had any affect on my writing or Yellow Submarine for that matter. I’ll write about my days as a student at some time. That stuff mainly took place in Britain’s second city Birmingham where I studied and worked; but got quite interesting when I went to London a couple of times. I took my examinations to qualify in London; that was fun; my friends wondered how I did them so quickly… I didn’t do the drawing exam so quickly, I had to wait for my friend to start, he actually knew what he was doing… I tried to help him on the electrical science exam to repay the favour but he was a bit dreamless… I had problems with him; he tried to be one of the popular guys. I didn’t care of course; I could always electrocute the dreamless ones if things got bad. He tried a practical joke on me, which wasn’t funny and I didn’t know who did it but passed it on to a Scot who was nuts and very violent. He didn’t think it was funny either; it took about 6 of us to stop him killing my ‘friend’. My Chinese friend has to do an assignment as part of a group; the rest of the group are dreamless… I had that problem too. I had to find an electrical fault on a huge board, with my dreamless friend as a sort of partner. I checked the board, there was supposed to be two faults. There was only one. They put faults on the board by pushing two buttons on the edge of the board. You have to know which buttons to push… I took the covers off and there were no wires into one of them. I went to the lecturers and said, “Yeah, funny!” The dreamless one kept on looking for another two hours…

    Today’s blog is interesting but not as funny as yesterday. At least I wrote pushing buttons and not bloody pressing buttons!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
22. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 13, 2010

    It is me, Sierra Oscar it’s Wednesday…

    It is of course the mid-week lottery draw today; I’ll try to catch the numbers this time.

    Farmville:

    They keep changing Farmville. I had white grapes growing this morning, as you probably have guessed white grapes are green and they put a notice on screen in green telling me about some super-crop. I think this could mean extra XP and could be how my friend has been doing so well — buying FV cash would be really expensive.

    She did narrow the lead to about 45,000 and it’s now 60,000 and I’ll widen it again later. If my co-op is successful, it will widen even more.

    China

    Things with my Chinese students took an interesting development. I looked at a few essays on Monday for one of the popular students. I couldn’t understand some of the translations they were that bad. I was sent the question though! It is not an essay, but a letter, and they are being failed for the form of it. They need English form, not Chinese.

    My geeky friend failed too and so I helped her yesterday afternoon, she only asked for an edit of her grammar, but thanks to the dreamless ones I had the question. Whoops, all the popular students have an error in their letters and I have corrected it for the geek! They sent me files with the US dictionary turned on and it changed my dictionary to default (US) and they are learning English to pass the Cambridge English examination. They have US spelling in their letters. [Maybe the American professor won’t notice?]

    Wednesday 13 October is English Language Day.

    This particular date has been chosen due to its historical significance. It was on 13 October 1362 that the Chancellor of England first opened a session of parliament with a speech in English. In the same parliament, a Statute of Pleading was approved that permitted members to use the English language in debate.

    The date of 13 October has been chosen by charity the English Project as symbolising the survival of English and as a landmark in its development into a world language.

    On the inaugural English Language Day in 2009, author and patron Philip Pullman said:

    “Every speaker of English has the right to bring new words or expressions into being, or give new meanings to old ones. I hope the English Project will help many people to realise what a treasure we have in our language.”

    Lexicographer on Channel 4’s Countdown and fellow English Project patron Susie Dent added:

    “Our language has never been richer, stronger, or more diverse. There can be no better time to celebrate its vitality; the English Project is giving us the chance to do just that.”

    I used to watch Countdown. I like Susie Dent; she is very smart –- she must dream a lot…

    My contribution to English Language Day…

    Dreamers: Smart, intelligent people.

    Stupids: People who are stupid or dreamless.

    Bureauprats: Prats that work for the government (local of national).

    Bankers: Prats that don’t work for the government (they think they are the government).

    Dreamless: A verb describing stupids, as in the dreamless ones…

    H.R: An acronym for Human Remains, it is fashionable to work in H R.

    Leverage: Using a lever to break in to your neighbour’s house rather than kicking in the door.

    Urinator: This is an underwater diver, not to be confused with urinated.

    Kakistocracy: This is a common form of government where all the rulers are Prats and employ bureauprats to do the dirty work.

    Queer Street: As in, “I’m in queer street here, mate” meaning a tricky situation; not to be confused with being just plain queer…

    Slapper: A sexually promiscuous woman, I know most of them…

    Cloud computing: This is using a bigger computer connected to yours to do stuff; it has nothing to do with clouds of sulphurous gas contributing to global warming…

    Yam: Another name for sweet potato, except when used with E as in “E’yam”; this is Olde English and “means here you are…”

    I could write a blog on Olde English, why I call my brother, Ar’ Kid and why my friend says I’m barmy; stuff like that… I’m using a few choice four letter words this morning every time my word processor thinks it knows better than me how to format this!

    Incidentally, some of those words are in the new Collin’s English dictionary that was published last month together with words like Twitter, which is an internet site for Twits. In a few years time you’ll see young people with pink hair standing on street corners whilst calling passers-by dreamless… I’m such a trend setter.

    Did you know that Vogue comes from the French work to sail? You sail through life and you’re in vogue… Déjà vu and risqué are French too and so too is my favourite double entendre. Ar’ Kid was struggling to remember oxymoron the other day; things were turning pretty ugly so I helped him out…

    I just opened my mail. There is a good tip: blank out your name and personal details on mail and recycle it; it saves using the shredder and so saves noise and electricity. I have been offered a magazine for a really low price if I buy it for three years; I’ll check their website for the catch. It could be a high price on renewal, but I want to write for that magazine so it could be a window of opportunity… I could write a blog about windows of opportunity.

    I have to paste this in now, it will mess up the formatting and it’s nearly lunch time.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 14, 2010

       Mike, I liked your dictionary entries, especially this one: H.R: An acronym for Human Remains, it is fashionable to work in H R.

       But I need to discuss something completely different which really has nothing to do with you personally — more one blogger/writer to another . . .

       In my last post on http://sharisax.com, I blasted some Bad Social Media Practices. Of course, I hear about these things from my “friends,” some of whom commit the aforementioned sins.

       One bloke left phone messages so we could discuss our different philosophies. Wrong is wrong. What “philosophy”? Anyway, I thought that’s what blogging and commenting was all about. If you don’t agree, write down your opinion; perhaps others will share it; or perhaps others will comment and then the Bad Practices can be dashed by Good Common Sense.

       Sorry I didn’t address much of the lovely content above; I just had to get that off my chest. And BTW, I’m not calling back, but I’d definitely answer via a blog comment.
       🙂

       Reply
23. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 14, 2010

    Sierra Oscar, I’m back again…

    Before I forget, Shari deleted one of my dictionary entries yesterday, maybe by accident when she was editing or maybe because it was too irreverent? Whatever; I didn’t make that one up; it really is in the new Collins dictionary!

    Farmville

    You have a small shop and half of it’s empty but you have loads of cash in the bank earning no interest. What do you do? Invest in stock of course! You’re paying rent on that space why not use it. This lesson and many others can be learned playing Farmville! Cash is not always King – in Farmville when you’re in a hurry you need fuel for tractors, harvesters and seeders! Fuel is King then! I have about 80 tanks, it went to 100 but I let it go down a little. I realised today if I trade wine for fuel I do well, but bakery goods aren’t so good but quite expensive. I may stop buying bakery goods from my neighbours. I’m about 60,000 XP in front of my friend who did well to try to catch up. Staying up in the early hours of the morning was taking things a bit far; I went to sleep.

    Facebook:

    I am uploading a video to Facebook and it’s the second attempt. It is twice the size of the usual ones and so high definition. It just gave me a message that it will take 1700 hours! I nearly canceled and then got a message that it has uploaded and it is now being processed – that means converted from WMV to MP4 and maybe flash – I’m good but not that good. I’ll wait and see if I get an email saying it’s a success. Have an idea… I embedded the promo video for my novel on another website and so I am thinking I can embed Jake West videos on the Jake West Website; that will liven it up a little…

    Social networking.

    Shari wants me to write about what is acceptable in social networking and what isn’t; there is a blog about this somewhere on this site – give me the link if you find it…

    I’m uploading a video; I want people to watch it. I can tag it with my friend’s names and they will be alerted. Is this acceptable or not? I will probably get away with it if I’m careful; but in moderation. I tag it and everyone gets an email; people comment and everyone gets an email; people comment more and everyone gets an email. I could end up spamming all my friends – not acceptable. I can do this once on a video, not on every bloody photo and video; use this occasionally only. If you use it too often you get yourself that well known label enjoyed by so many people in social networking; ie. “prat!”

    Sending spam and trying to get your contacts to join alternatives to your preferred social network is also unacceptable. I’m a member of LinkedIn and I don’t want to join the Outer Mongolian business club. I am on Facebook but don’t want to join the Venusians’ chapter of Spacebook! I do not want to join ‘tagged’, ‘flagged’ or anything else. Do not spam me. I did send Shari and another connection on LinkedIn an email showing how I do a viral email – that was a one off yesterday. That is useful information and not only did I get thanked for it this morning by the other recipient – he got a laugh out of it too.

    A lot of the members of social networks I belong to are writers. I read something one wrote, a nasty word ran through my mind as it seemed very familiar. Yes, plagiarism; it is not nice to accuse without proof – so I kept quiet. It could have been coincidence; we get our ideas from a variety of sources. Be nice to other people, online and offline and you network better; be helpful and polite and you may even gain something from it.

    Did I tag Shari? Yeah, she showed an interest in making videos, it was a sort of invitation. It was a close thing though; I was doing them alphabetically and ran out of ‘tags’ when I got to R. I then had to discriminate, Jake West is a novel for teenagers so I took some tags out and put teenagers in. Shari is young at heart so I left her in… She will probably end up with a copy of the book in first edition signed by Webby!

    Déjà vu

    I have mentioned déjà vu being caused by dreams – I keep having déjà vu every time I type déjà vu ! I keep typing vous! 🙂

    My spooky dream causes it and so when I had a bit of déjà vu when reading about investments, I just had to go and buy the shares didn’t I? I was seeing the future again; there would be a takeover bid and the shares would go up and I would make money! No worries… Did it come true? Good question… I bought the shares and the takeover was going ahead and the price went up 25% – coming true; but spooky me thought the price would double. The main shareholder holding over a ¼ of the shares does something dreamless and blocks the takeover – whoops. My shares plummet in price, down a 1/3 on what I bought them for. All is not lost — there is another rich guy with an auto-buy and he has 1% of the company and there are rumours of another bidder. I got news yesterday, the price went up sharply the other day and then yesterday it went up sharply again and it’s now back to what I paid. The dreamless one has sold out! It must be the forerunner of a bid. He can’t be that bloody dreamless to sell at half the price that the shares were before he did his dreamless stuff and blocked the takeover? I still think the price will double, I’ll hold out for loadsamoney!

    To sleep, perchance to dream.

    If I dream numbers tonight I’ll write them down and post them tomorrow, we can all buy lottery tickets – I’m on 10% if anyone wins! I wonder how many lotteries there are in the world? I just thought, I never have the dream number on the lottery, maybe I should?

    With that inspiring thought, I did my 1,000 words for today…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 14, 2010

       YUP, I deleted the entry for at least three reasons: (1) To see if you were looking back [some people never look back after they write something]. (2) The reference was scatological.(3) To see if anyone else is looking and asks for the entry back.
       🙂
       Perhaps, seriously perhaps, I will “edit” your Social Media Behavior tips and put them into a separate blog post on SHARISAX IS OUT THERE, my other blog: http://sharisax.com. BTW, the exact post I wanted comments on was: http://sharisax.com/2010/10/11/im-so-lucky-i-just-found-a-way-to-update-to-all-my-sites-at-the-same-time/

       Re: Farmville & Investing . . . I may be convinced yet . . .

       Reply
24. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 15, 2010

    Sierra Oscar (Friday, 15 October 2010) I am back…

    Farmville.

    I managed to increase my lead to 60,000 at Farmville but was busy yesterday and my main competitor got around 25,000 XP to close the gap. I think a couple of people are buying FV cash; I draw the line at that! I don’t have enough time to keep winning at the game and so may have to let the leading place go to someone else, but first I will be the first of my friends to get the magical 1,000,000 XP! This is an important business lesson; psychological barriers can undermine your competitors’ confidence. When the FTSE 100 came close to 5,000 in London, people got excited and when it went through 5,000 people started buying. Remember it only a bloody number! It is an important number though.

    Cheap at half the price.

    Want an exclusive venue for your next party? The Mandarin Oriental Tokyo hotel may have the answer: use of the entire hotel, including nine restaurants and all spas and rooms — for a cool $671,000 a night.
    The luxury hotel in central Tokyo began selling the plan a week ago as “something splashy” to commemorate its opening five years ago, said hotel spokeswoman Chie Hayakawa. It intends to apply for recognition from Guinness World Records once a reservation is finalized.

    The price isn’t that bad; you can invite 500 friends or colleagues around for a cocktail party and you do get 178 guest rooms thrown in. This is a window of opportunity for Shari to have her Big Bash. Now who wants to go to Tokyo? Its $2,000 a ticket for the flight and little extras, but the booze is free and if you drink too much you can stay the night if there is still a room free and you don’t mind sharing with a Filipino maid.

    I’m confused again.
    I couldn’t sleep the other night and I was lying awake thinking; mainly about apostrophes’, Word left that one alone; but removed the one I put in it’s in the last paragraph. It’s driving me nuts. I don’t know what is right from what is wrong any more… Why does it do that? Is it an apostophetic problem at Microsoft?

    Read this carefully…

    THE Chilean miners had not even popped up to the surface before the usual army of shrinks and counsellors was predicting the worst. If the fame and fortune did not rip the miners’ lives apart, we were assured, then depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress would get them. Time will tell. But what monstrous arrogance it is to assume anyone can get inside the psyche of someone who has been raised in the unique ethnic melting pot of Chile, lived through its tortured history and chosen to work as a miner. The truth is we have absolutely no idea what has been going on in the heads of these 33 men, still less what might happen now. My guess (and it’s only a guess) is that most of them will cope better than we would.

    There is more…

    CUNARD’S new liner, Queen Elizabeth, weighs a massive 92,000 tons and cost its private owners £365 million. The Royal Navy’s latest destroyer, HMS Daring, is a tiddling 7,350 tons yet cost us taxpayers £650 million. Go on, tell us it’s value for money.

    You may have thought that I wrote that. I didn’t I’m funnier. Bloody apostrophes’ it’s at it again… Anyway, it was written by a writer named Peter Rhodes, who is also English. He took over a column in a newspaper from Gerry Anderson, who was brilliant, irreverent and sarcastic. The poor sod spent his life writing, drinking and smoking. The latter got him and he ended up on oxygen after becoming a victim of emphysema. That got one of my doctors too. Gerry carried on writing despite being on oxygen and just got even more irreverent and sarcastic; he probably didn’t care and was getting published every Saturday night. He died eventually but did what he enjoyed and was good at it. He would have enjoyed it longer if it hadn’t been for the smoke filled press bar opposite the newspaper offices and the 40 cigarettes a day. I haven’t read Peter’s work for years, he still isn’t as good as Gerry; it takes a special kind of twisted mind to be as irreverent as us, but he picked up a few tips from the late, great writer and I certainly learned a lot from reading Gerry’s stuff every Saturday night for years. Even old hacks can be great writers.

    I stopped buying that newspaper for two reasons. The first is I am too miserable to pay the bill every month and the other was political; my views didn’t coincide with the editor. I try not to have extreme views and any extreme views I do have I keep to myself. That is advisable for newspaper editors, they give the paper bias and they lose readers; they lost me anyway. I’m thinking of buying a copy later, because they interviewed Webby about his new novel. I shall probably get the wrong edition and it will be money wasted. I’m just over the border in the next town to Webby, so will probably get a geographically different edition.

    I embedded an HD (High definition) video on his website yesterday; I put mine on too; that is the perks of controlling his web space! I gave him a guest book too; I may have chosen the wrong one… I put a video on my website too on the Home Page – that improves it a little. I’ll make a new HD video for my website too, they look great when you click full screen. I need a jolly roger and some pirate pictures for it.
    I’ll work on the novel I’m co-writing this afternoon. My co-writer thinks it’s too early for the ante-climax; I want a bit of excitement. I’ll write the fire fight ante-climax. This is where the new sergeant; Smiffy, picks up our hero Chrisma by helicopter and more or less forces him to go ‘operational’ again. This is to protect us from a terrorist attack. Will Chrisma kill again? He is still suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and has just spent a night with the voluptuously breasted Cougar. Now he goes off to risk his life and doesn’t have much choice, he can hardly get out when the helicopter is at 1,000 feet.

    I’ll paste some of that novel in; Cougar is a good character, Goth by night, on the prowl and gentle Mary the hair stylist, snipping her way through life by day…

    I’ve had enough and the word counter says so, so that is it for today…

    Quote of the day: Don’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 15, 2010

       Mike, I have to go to Yoga, so I’ll be back, but I did have to tell you that at least one of my friends is reading you word for word. He told me, so didn’t think he needed to comment. But we’re here, anyway.
       🙂
       I’ll be back . . .

       Reply
25. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 16, 2010

    This week.
    
    Sierra Oscar, I’m back…

    Farmville
    
    My lead at Farmville has been cut again, I don’t care… It is taking up too much time. I’ll try to be first to 1,000,000 XP before I lose the lead. I changed tactics today to confuse my competitors. I think people are starting to notice the intense competition, most of my friends are being left way behind – they are beginning to become a little more co-operative.

    I had an email from Jane, who is my co-writer on Chrisma, she is reading my blogs on here. She isn’t too pleased that I said her writing wasn’t too good or something. She started a WordPress blog and has lots of ideas but can’t express them in words. That is the problem; word craft is hard to get right and takes years to learn. Jane has good ideas and now just has to take the risk and have a go at expressing them. Many of my blogs from a few years ago aren’t very good, but would I have improved had I not written them?

    The governor of California was in London this week and met the Prime Minister, a meeting of the dreamless ones… You know the guy, he was an actor and apparently a former Miss Universe; he stole my catch phrase…

    There was news from Russia. You must remember the lady who had her puppies taken until she paid her debts. I wrote, ‘pay up or the puppy gets it’. The latest one is ‘pay up or the piglet gets it,’ they took the woman’s piglet until she pays her debts! You can’t make this stuff up.

    My friend went for a walk around the park one evening, the one where Jane walks her dogs. He came across this guy and his dog was lying on the ground and not moving. My friend asked if it was alright. The guy said he will be fine; he had just had a heart attack. The guy massaged the heart and the dog was fine. I said to my friend if that had been you having the heart attack, they would have called the paramedics and there would have been screaming sirens, blue lights, mass panic and you would have died on the way to hospital! He worked at the hospital, they didn’t treat him well making him redundant when he injured himself and they didn’t compensate him for the injury. We had a discussion and I said you need to belong to some group these days to do well. You need to be a Catholic or gay or something. My friend said, “I don’t mind changing my religion; but I’m not changing my sexuality…”

    He told lots of funny stories mainly about the hospital. They had a canary where he worked to take with them in case of gas; if the canary died they had a problem. They cleaned its cage out and threw the seed and stuff in same place all the time. Plants started growing from the seeds and a West Indian came to them and asked if he could have them – yep they were growing Marijuana from bird seed!

    I made videos this week, one for Webby to publicise his novel in HD (high definition), that went on Facebook, his website and the Modern Met. I put my video on my website, I’ll do an HD one I found some Jolly Roger pictures to improve the video. I have to ask Webby to remove all the tags from the video this week and replace them by tagging his friends; that will publicise it more. Webby was interviewed and photographed by the local newspaper and that was in last evening’s newspaper – I advised him to snip and scan that for the website.

    In China my friend was up to the early hours doing a PowerPoint presentation which would be part of a presentation with a video that I sent her, about the marketing strategies of Carrefour versus Wal-Mart in China.

    I have edited the joint novel this week all the way through and will try to add some humour to the last chapter and send it back to Jane with advance warning that I’m going to write the ante-climax. I wrote some of ‘Abduction’ that is the temporary title for my psychological thriller. I did that in bed last night. I have a beginning and I have a good idea of the ending; now I need the middle. I am struggling because of the dialogue. I think it needs formatting differently and the dialogue needs breaking up with the odd line of narration. That was what was wrong with chapter two of Chrisma, a long stretch of dialogue – I made the same mistake in a later chapter. I’ll read that again and edit yet again if it’s crap. I think I have solved my problem with its apostrophe if it’s possessive or replacing a letter as in, it is, otherwise in that rare case – no apostrophe. I just came across a rare case, the apostrophe wasn’t possessive and you don’t say it is apostrophe; so no apostrophe. I’m getting a headache…

    My shares went down again; the company announced there were no takeover talks now; so why did someone buy more than 25% of the company? I’ll continue my spooky investment strategy and hold on for a while.

    I am of course waiting on a major publisher to read my synopsis and ask for a copy of my manuscript. It could be a long wait; I think they will read those through the winter months. There is no sign of a weekly feature for me to write so I get a newish car. I decided newish will do, they depreciate so much in the first year… The newish Vectra has alloy wheels and low profile tyres and they are expensive to change. I’m not bothered; I don’t like the chrome on the newer ones or the colours.

    It is getting colder now and I should have cleaned and polished my car for the winter. It needs a safety test next month. I have just spent over £200 on the car tax; they promised to scrap that. I should know better than to believe anything a dreamless politician says…

    It’s the National lottery tonight; I shall probably miss the draw yet again. I didn’t dream the lottery numbers last night so don’t get your hopes up… My Chinese horoscope says I’ll have a few stagnant depressing months until the Chinese New year; I don’t like birthdays and that is a couple of days after my birthday. I shall try to stay optimistic until then. I suppose I should think about Christmas, it will take a couple of months to buy presents and decide who to invite as guests. It will be the same as last year, but one less guest; every year there appears to be one less…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 16, 2010

       Speaking of cars, today I’ll be writing a car story on DRIVING MISS SHARI; actually I’m in the market for a NEW CAR, and I’ll be asking for suggestions.
       PS I wonder what Arnold will be doing next year?

       Reply
       1. 

          Jane

          October 17, 2010

          You’re right Mike, I struggle to get my words down and will make plenty mistakes before I get better. Practice makes perfect even if I could sometimes jump up and down in shear frustration, lol.
          So far, I have not given anyone the kiss of life over the park but often I felt breathless walking those dogs.
          My campervan failed its MOT, just needs a little bit of welding doing. I didn’t expect it to pass as I knew there would be something wrong, but was pleased that machanically it is sound.
          I wish Shari the best of luck in her quest to find a new car, my hubby loves ebay and buys everything from off there. It keeps him out of mischief and gives me some peace and quiet.

          Reply
          1. 

             sharisax

             October 17, 2010

             Jane, has your husband bought a car off ebay??
             I’m not certain I would buy a used car from a “stranger” — we looked at some “new” rentals from Enterprise. Anyone had good experiences buying one of those?

             Reply
26. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 16, 2010

    The Chevrolet is a nice car, new to the UK but my sister had one and the prices are good in the US for new ones. I would hate to lose all that first year depreciation money though…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 17, 2010

       Mike, yesterday we tried a Chevy Malibu, which is supposed to be more-or-less comparable to the Buick Century I’ve been driving for almost 8 years. Didn’t like it, though. What was the worst thing? The turn signal sound, kind of like a funky version of the Jeopardy timer.

       Reply
27. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 17, 2010

    Sunday, 17 October 2010, Sierra Oscar it be I…

    Farmville

    You have the most successful store in town and you get home after another late night. The dog doesn’t recognise you and attacks you thinking you are a prowler. The kids ask who you are and your wife is upstairs having just taken delivery of a new bed and the delivery guy is showing her it’s multi-functional. Is it time to reassess your life and business goals?

    Farmville can help. If you find it is taking up too much time, there is the option to go out on a high, in my case that is being the first to get 1,000,000 XP. I can give up my lead and let someone younger and slightly dreamless spend the time maintaining a lead. It could even be time to retire and go out in the sun taking photographs. I would go fishing but the local river is a bit rough especially after it leaves the sewage works. The canals look nice but are a little smelly if you get too close. I have a 50,000 XP lead at Farmville and only need 5,000 to hit the magic million. They won’t make me president of the Better Business Bureau; but you never know your luck. I have to harvest raspberries in 9 minutes – it is getting ridiculous now…

    More Science

    If you’re a regular reader you know to get enough sleep, it helps you dream and you don’t want to become one of the dreamless ones. If you get enough sleep you’ll live longer. If you want to stay healthy, spend time with sick people — your immune system will produce more T-cells and protect you from the nasties. Now I will help you avoid the one of the bigger nasties, cancer. Scientists have examined ancient remains and it was virtually unheard of in ancient times and not common even five hundred years ago. There were infectious diseases though and so some people argue that people didn’t live long enough to develop cancer. This doesn’t explain the rise in childhood cancers. Coloured sweeties (candy) might; the artificial colours have been associated with all kinds of nasties. I asked for a antibiotic that wasn’t coated in the colour tartrazine (E102) and my doctor switched it from oxytetracyline to tetracycline, but sod’s law applied and that contained sunset yellow (E110). We eat crap and we feel crap and it’s not just our physical health. I have noticed people with depression and anxiety often have strange eating habits. I am not the only one. A psychiatrist some years ago suspected the same thing and wrote a book about ‘curing’ a patient with severe mental health problems by eliminating certain foods from her diet. The book was called ‘Not all in the mind’ which was appropriate. It seems even the things we breathe in can cause cancer, the first high levels were found in chimney sweeps breathing in soot, which of course if a hydrocarbon; like vehicle fumes that most of us breathe in all the time.

    He advocated a ‘stone age’ diet eliminating all modern foods. He could be right, I’ll ask squirrelly nut to share her nuts and berries with me later…

    Live long and fester.

    Yes, it is Star Trek weekend on television with lots of trekkie films, I tried to watch one last night. I missed the first half and the lottery numbers (yet again). It was the journey home one with the whales in it. I was in bed as usual and read through my new novel ‘Abduction’ and did some editing. It is sounding good now. You will be relieved to know that the abductor finally allowed Becky to use the bathroom after she promised to behave herself; she was relieved anyway… She is starting to get a bit smelly now and needs a shower. Will she risk taking a shower without bolting the bathroom door? She got punished for bolting the door last time. She really needs a shower and a change of clothes. Her wrists hurt from being shackled to the wall for nearly 24 hours; she needs to sleep; will he let her lie down for a while?

    Meanwhile, in the joint novel I am writing, Chris the mercenary soldier has gone ‘operational’ again and is part of blue troupe expecting a fire fight with terrorists while protecting a nuclear research establishment.

    Meanwhile, Webby who had his book out in softback and hardback last week is a bit down — because the website his novel is on has been down. Wonder if he has cleared his temporary internet files or has a DNS problem, because I haven’t seen the site ‘down’ for about a week. I’ll send him an email with a lesson in DNS (dynamic name server) stuff in it.

    Meanwhile, the sun is shining and my sweets are running out. I think a trip to the Victorian sweet shop is called for this afternoon. I’ll post a letter through the door of the bank with cheques inside and they can pay those into my account when they open tomorrow; I’ll raid the ATM while I’m there. I might go to the supermarket and check out rice and soy sauce.

    I need soy sauce to make the rice nice. I need gluten free soy sauce so will have to read labels and I need rice. Rice is a staple food in many countries. In the UK, grains like wheat are a staple, I’m a celiac and so can’t eat that (contains gluten) and so vegetables are my staple. Vegetables like many other foods contain indigestible sugars; some sweeteners used by slimmer’s are indigestible sugars and can have undesirable consequences. Rice doesn’t contain these indigestible sugars, hence my interest. I had at test at the hospital and it found hydrogen in my breath. It was because an indigestible sugar was fermented by bacteria producing hydrogen in my lower digestive system. It can make your abdomen distend and if the hydrogen reacts with sulphur (in eggs and cauliflower amongst other things) it make that extremely smelly gas Hydrogen sulphide.

    You may remember that was the gas I filled the school up with when I was a teenager. That was after I turned the gas taps on in the science lab and threatened to blow it up. In fact it was a different school. You know get the picture; you are full of gas, possible explosive, possibly smelly if you have been eating eggs or cauliflower. It may be really bad if you’re on your way home from Weight Watchers and have been drinking diet drinks loaded with indigestible sugars. If you have been eating eggs, this is a good time to avoid elevators, because the gas may suddenly escape…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 17, 2010

       Reassessing one’s strategies is possibly more important than one’s goals — even though there’s definitely a need for that as well. I’m just thinking about ways to stay fit, healthy, and full of energy. And when I have kept doing the same things and expected different results: that, of course is the definition of insanity.

       Mike, I actually wrote that first paragraph after reading only your first paragraph. Now, I’m having to edit this reply since your second section has discussed exactly what I was talking about. YUP, I am completely changing my eating habits and am feeling the Power!

       PS I don’t “do” diet sodas anymore, nor do I “nuke” my Healthy Choice lunches
       PPS Why do you keep up with the sweets if you know they are so bad for you?

       Reply
28. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 17, 2010

    Ah, the reason I went to the Victorian sweet shop is because they sell sweets that are made from sugar and an herb oil and no artificial flavours or colours. I don’t digest sugar very well, but it’s better than starving! I may try stopping sugar for a while if the rice works!

    Reply
29. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 18, 2010

    09:40 Monday, 18 October 2010 Sierra Oscar… I’m back.

    Did you know that those 3 dots after Oscar in the title have a name, similar to a comma and a semi colon have a name? You wouldn’t put three commas would you? People think for a long pause they can put four dots instead of three, it’s three, not two and not four; bloody three…

    Farmville.

    I was congratulated yesterday by my nearest Farmville rivals on getting the 1,000,000 XP. I went exactly to 1,000,000 and left my score there for a while for effect! 🙂 I can retire gracefully now and grow peas or something… I shall explain that Farmville joke, much as I dislike explaining jokes… If you grow grapes they give a return of 2 XP over 24 hours, then you can get a bonus of 1 XP when you harvest and 1XP when you plough. Grow peas and they give the highest ROI of all over 24 hours in XP (5 in total) terms and 172 coins ROI. This means you can just grow peas and get a quite good ROI with no messing about harvesting several times a day.

    The peas are useless in the winery, but with all the cash you have coming in you can buy goods and trade those for fuel! I could compromise and grow grapes and peas. That would allow me to make just one wine only and get a good ROI on half the land from peas — weird but it could work. The prospect of losing the lead and then laterally thinking my way into a consolidated position where I become a complete pain in the rear is somewhat appealing. You must have some fun in retirement and being a pain in the rear appears to be what people do best after they retire… 🙂

    The Great Escape.

    Pay attention Jane; this is where I remind readers of Steve McQueen in the cooler in a concentration camp being held by the nasty Germans. Time travel is essential to a good blogger. He sat there and bounced his balls of the walls until they released him, remember? James Garner played the scrounger, getting them the goodies like coffee, chocolate and single reflex cameras.

    ‘Having wasted enormous resources on recapturing Allied prisoners of war (POWs), the Germans move the most determined to a new, high-security prisoner-of-war camp. The commandant, Luftwaffe Colonel von Luger, tells the senior British officer, Group Capt Ramsey, “There will be no escapes from this camp.” Ramsey replies that it is their duty to try to escape. After several failed escape attempts on the first day, the POWs settle into the prison camp.’

    Henley was the scrounger and Colin played brilliantly by Donald Pleasance was the forger who went blind. Now what was the name of the US airman played by Steve McQueen? No one can remember that! It was Virgil! We remember he was ‘The cooler King’ but bloody Virgil? Note to all writers, be careful naming your characters, this was the Great Escape; not Thunderbirds Are Go!

    Anyway, I forgot why I was writing about The Great Escape then…

    ‘While the British POWs enjoy a 4 July celebration organized by the three Americans, the guards discover tunnel Tom. The mood drops to disappointment and hits Ives hardest. He is drawn to the barbed wire that surrounds the camp and climbs it in view of guards. Hilts runs to stop him but is too late, and Ives is machine-gunned dead near the top of the fence. The prisoners switch their efforts to Harry.’

    Thank God they forgot his name was Virgil and called him Hilts… Anyway, remember he pretended to lose one of his balls near the fence and walks to get it thinking there is a ‘blind spot’ between the two goon towers? He walks hesitantly up to that low wire that they are not allowed to cross? He crosses the wire to get his ball and they threaten to shoot him?

    That is what I do every day, walk up to a wire and see how close I can get without be shot down in flames. I make the comedy risqué, wondering how far I can take it. Will knowing the right buttons to push make a nurse come? Now I am venturing near a new and even riskier wire, that of the psychological thriller. What is thrilling and exciting for a young eighteen-year-old girl who has been abducted by a slightly older man who punishes her for disobeying him; but is nice, kind and rewards her for obedience? How does she feel after getting punished for bolting the bathroom door? How does she feel later when she is naked in the shower and she hears the ‘man’s’ footsteps in the hallway? How close to that wire can I take this story? More to the point, where is this invisible wire? It was difficult yesterday writing from the perspective of a horny 18 year old girl; feeling real excitement for the first time in her drab existence. This is where social networking can come in useful and I remember all those messages from young girls that starting with ‘God, I feel so horny today’, they are of course confidential so I won’t go on…

    I am such a tease, just like those young girls…

    Strawberry field forever…

    Let me take you down, ’cause I’m going to Strawberry Fields.
    Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
    Strawberry Fields forever.

    Those were the words that went through my mind when I was having that surgery in 2003, yes, I was trippin’. Don’t you love tales from the hospital? I was of course enjoying that perfectly relaxed feeling and thinking how nice those pretty colours were; when I bloody woke up. If you have ever woken up on an operating table you will know what I mean… It can be quite alarming… I looked at the wall, I didn’t have much choice; I couldn’t bloody move. I said, “Is there anybody there?” It was like doing a bloody séance… No one answered, but the surgeon started hammering. I said, “I’ll take that as a yes…” It wasn’t long before he was pulling the flesh back into place and when I felt my backside being stapled back together I thought, ‘it won’t be long now’. Then it was all over and I got my reward for being a good boy and not complaining. Remember those rewards? The nurse gives you a lollipop or candy? When you’re older you say sod the lollipops, I’ll just take the nurse…

    I got my nurse, but it’s hard to flirt when you have an oxygen mask on, but I had her all to myself until I regained the feeling in my lower body. I have a young, attractive and sexy nurse at my disposable, complete with push-able buttons and I’m paralysed from the waist down from the epidural – life sucks some days…

    More hospital stories by request, the next bit was even better… 🙂

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 19, 2010

       You started about talking about retirees being pains in the butt. A colleague and I agreed today that retirement in the USA will be non-existent going forward, so I suspect people will be retiree-wanna-be pains in the butt

       Re: The Great Escape. I know I’ve seen it but don’t remember it and after your description, I won’t be putting it on the Must See Again list. I did like “Inglourious Bastards” from last year, though.

       If you do many more hospital stories, you’ll have a soap opera . . . and then you’ll get rich, if not famous.
       🙂
       Talk about boring responses . . . this was one. Sorry, it’s been one of those nonstop days.

       Reply
30. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 19, 2010

    Tuesday, 19 October 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me again…

    Farmville.

    I am still in the lead at Farmville! I ran extremely short of working capital and fuel was going down but I learn from history. If in doubt, bluff! During World War II, British scientists worked with American scientists to develop the atom bomb with devastating results for Japan. After the war, things changed and America went its own way and developed the hydrogen bomb and didn’t share their secrets with us British! The British built a really big atom bomb and when it went off it rocked seismometers around the world! The British have an H-Bomb! The Americans assumed and on this side of the pond we bluffed. We got the H-bomb secrets!

    The lesson here is to use a little psychology; I hit the 1,000,000 XP in Farmville and sent a message out to that effect. My friends don’t know I had to use everything I had to get the 1,000,000 XP and they are desperately trying to keep up! They are probably thinking,”How did he do that?” It is quite simple; I’m just stubbornly competitive and will think while I eat and calculate the ROI on a bunch of grapes versus a batch of peas. The important thing is to maintain motivation and remember why you’re playing this stupid game! It is about connecting with people…

    More psychology

    You know that the voice of a young man goes deeper at puberty, but not many people know this happens to young girls too; but not always! When I was counselling, I listened carefully to the pitch of the voice when listening to answers to questions. A raised pitch can signify deception and they can be lying. I was reminded of this when I was making a video with my friend. The microphone was picking up his voice clearly but picking up mine in the background and the pitch was raised — not because I was being deceptive but because I was driving and a little tense. My friend has that effect on me anyway, that and the traffic were making me tense. It makes the vocal chords tense and raises the pitch of the voice.

    Now for a lesson in social networking for Shari! I have read her blog on tweaking a LinkedIn profile and on tweeting this morning and so should repay the advice. I watched a Youtube video last night, in which a lady was selling her service. She had a good voice and spoke honestly; it made for a psychologically powerful message. Then at the end, some guy spoiled it. He did a voiceover to reinforce the point, but he wasn’t honest; he doesn’t do anything but provide a voice over and the pitch of his voice was raised. I watched another video that was similar, but no voiceover at the end; brilliant – psychologically it would work. The lady is successful and good at social networking; in fact an expert in my view.

    I clicked ‘like’ on her Facebook page after reading her blog. I got a message from her this morning. That is what social networking is about being aware and communicating. Who is this expert? I think Shari will know her or of her; she is known as ReloMary and if I was in the US; I would do business with her.

    Novel ideas

    I spent yesterday afternoon writing the next chapter of the collaborative novel ‘Chrisma’, I’ll read it again later and if it’s good I’ll send it to my co-writer and she can start the next chapter. I also continued my psychological thriller, temporarily called ‘Abduction’. It was going so well, I was getting into the mind of a feisty young 18-year old-girl and the words were beginning to flow effortlessly. She has a family that is more interested in the television than her and the abduction is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to her. She is reacting to her imprisonment just as a girl would in a ‘Stockholm syndrome’ scenario. I was doing great! I decided to read it back, from chapter one; it was gripping. Then I read chapter three. It is hilarious, Becky is really funny. I shall read it again. How did I manage to contrast what she was saying with what she was thinking without realising it would be hilarious? The tear rolled down my face it was so funny and I had only written it an hour ago! Whoops! It’s too good to cut, but what do I do now? I have a weird idea of a comedy thriller… That hasn’t been done before and it would make a great film!

    The Hot Potato.

    I checked out the blog for the movie the ‘Hot Potato’ being filmed in Europe, Belgium I think. I thought they weren’t going to Europe and filming in the UK. It seems to be going well and will be launched at Cannes next year. I have a financial interest in this movie, in case you haven’t guessed and of course having a movie producer as a connection on LinkedIn could be useful… Go and see the movie when it comes out! I suppose linking this blog with Wardour pictures won’t do any harm…

    Meanwhile…

    I’m increasing my lead at Farmville. My friend was late for work one day, her boss was even later but wasn’t nice to her. I think she probably closed the gap over the weekend and now can’t spare the time. She is also sending friends messages with the story of her holiday visiting friends around the world from Iceland to New Mexico. She would do a great blog if her English was better. She has written her life story in messages!

    Cooking

    My neighbour found me some gluten free soy sauce in the supermarket and I now have rice. I can cook Chinese chicken and flied lice! It should be easy; the rice is boil-in-the-bag. I should have oyster sauce but getting gluten free soy sauce was hard enough. I also gave some advice to someone who joined the Coeliac UK Fan page on Facebook. I am virtually a founding member and gave advice on selling the raffle tickets for the Christmas raffle. I used the website to find info on gluten-free soy sauce that diverted me to the supermarket site – I wonder sometimes why I have paid my annual fee all these years. It used to be a charity, but like so many charities is run on a commercial basis to keep the CEO in a style to which she has become accustomed.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 20, 2010

       I love the Psychology part of your post today. . . even the advice on promoting myself on YouTube. And I know eventually I’ll be doing lots more YouTube featuring Moi, but right now I’m spending so much time on Face-to-Face networking that my social media time has been somewhat compromised. Good thing I have loads of energy from this nutritional supplement program I’m on. Of course, I’ve had to add all the Body Shop estimates, Insurance talks, and New Car Shopping to my schedule. My poor doggies have gotten walked in two days!!
       🙁
       I’m going to start a LinkedIn group answering social media questions, so you’ll be able to ask away on it and/or I’ll take your questions from there and put them on that group, too.
       Oh, how familiar are you with “Tribes,” i.e. groups that “syndicate” each other’s blog posts on various social media sites. The one I’ve recently joined is called TSA Mastery — if you want to check it out.

       Reply
31. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 20, 2010

    Wednesday, 20 October 2010, Sierra Oscar, the clone is safe…

    I’m putting the date on my blogs now because I save a copy; I may be able to use them again or edit them and use them again. I have of course played Farmville, done my email and read a blog on tweeting. I have some ideas about using Twitter and will research it properly. I need to do some lateral thinking. I think humorous tweets pointing to a blog that is even more humorous and that pointing wherever I want to take them – a cascade of information. Cascading information is a concept that has been around for since I did it when I was at college, but no one appears to use it successfully. I have seen tweets linked to photographs, too, and I assume they can be linked to video. I like the slideshow style videos; you can do a mixture of words and pictures and produce a promo video in an hour. I’ve done two for novels and they appear to be effective, especially the HD one on Facebook.

    Farmville

    My lead at Farmville is still at 50,000 XP and I’m rebuilding my working capital, maybe the psychology worked. I think my friend is short of fuel and went all out to catch me! I have reduced my fuel but still have a reasonable amount in stock. My bluff appears to have worked; when the competition gets a little despondent I try to increase my lead! I am trying to concentrate on making a high priced wine but many of my friends want low priced wine to exchange for fuel and so my diverse selection is working out well. I am a great believer in diversity.

    More psychology.

    If we want to influence people, we have to add weight to what we say, do, and write. It can be something that strikes a chord, deep in the subconscious. I am writing my psychological thriller and I am looking for that chord all the time. I am trying to engage the reader and tempt their imagination to imagine what is in the mind of my victim Becky as she struggles with her feelings and lack of control. I also tempt my readers to look into the mind of the abductor and understand his motivation to be a control freak.

    My first comment on the first few chapters was favourable… “It’s raunchy, raunchy, raunchy, please keep ‘Abducted’ like it is!!” Yes, maybe too raunchy! It did get to the first reader as intended, though. Another way to add weight is to associate what you say with someone in authority; this can be a parent, government or even a pop star in the case of a dreamless teenager. Adding weight is perhaps the most influential way of influencing people. Some scam emails offer links to reliable sources like the BBC asking the reader to read a BBC news story to back their claim that someone died; leaving you $500 million dollars just because you have a similar name. It doesn’t usually work, of course, but the principle is good, and it works in a very few cases — that is enough to make the scam work. You can learn so much from scams, even from the guy who sold the Eiffel tower!

    Humour is always based on some deep subconscious fear and this makes political humour and racist humour funny because people tend to be xenophobic about people of a different race and of a different culture, and politics is all driven by different cultures. In the UK, the cultures tend to be racial and also class divides drive politics. The present government has a deep suspicion and dislike of the ‘welfare underclass’ and this makes many people distrust the government. Tweet something funny and political and it can soon get re-tweeted and go around the UK in minutes. If it’s topical like David Cameron getting his bike stolen by hoodies after giving a speech saying they are just young people and need guidance and such drivel then it will really spread like a virus. Is that viral tweeting? ‘Prime Minister’s question time: Who’s got my bloody bike?’ I could well be a nightmare for some people if I start on Twitter… Quotes out of context can be hilarious, Henry Ford’s “Any colour as long it’s black…” can be funny in a different context. No, I won’t give an example…

    If in doubt…

    If you are in any doubt and in England, talk about the weather. There was ice on my car this morning and although the sun is shining, my central heating boiler is cutting in so it’s still freezing and may warm to 8C this afternoon. I just had an email, I mentioned Lily the Tigress was having a party in Brussels in yesterday’s blog. I just noticed it’s listed under gay and lesbian. A lesbian party is a challenge, but otherwise I would give it a miss…

    I just read this – I get around on the net:

    Popularized by the 2004 teen flick “Mean Girls,” the term “frenemy” acknowledges the fact that friendships are not always friendly, and they aren’t as simple as they seem on the surface. While recognizing friend from foe is typically cut and dry, recognizing friend from frenemy is trickier.

    It was advice to teens on how to spot their frenemies… I was actually looking for the name of those three dots again… I still didn’t find it. A lot of young girls can be mean little bitches but they can be that once a month anyway, so it’s not good to have them analysing each others behaviour constantly. I think writing about Becky is getting to me… I’m having nightmares…

    I haven’t done 1,000 words today, too bad; times up…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 21, 2010

       I have great faith that ALL of Wit will achieve widespread acclaim, so dating is probably an excellent idea [especially for the dreamy young editors who will be packaging your material for popular consumption].

       Need more info on “cascading info” — sounds like it could go far
       🙂

       You mention both diversity and racism in today’s post. Coincidentally, I listened to a radio talk show discussion about the German chancellor’s pronouncements against immigrants who don’t want to speak the language and blend into the national culture. Not everyone appreciates diversity. Countries like the US were built on immigrants; other, smaller nations not so.
       So, in England, if you don’t want to talk about the weather, do you dare talk about immigration?

       Frenemies are all about us!
       Unfortunately.
       I remember when there was much more hiding and anonymity on the Web. With social media — even Twitter — lots more opportunity for genuine, generous engagement.

       Reply
32. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 21, 2010

    Thursday, 21 October 2010, Sierra Oscar… It is me again…

    In England we talk about whatever we want – the weather is spooky today. 0C this morning and 9C this afternoon the forecast said. It was freezing yesterday afternoon, we washed the cars and I got wet when the hose came off the pressure washer. My friend was using the pressure washer and young ladies were coming past collecting their kids from school. most of them say hello to me. Then two teenage schoolgirls walked past. I thought that one looks just like Becky in my ‘abduction’ novel. I was hoping she would turn around and I could see if she was wearing make up and what she looked like. My friend saw me looking at them, he said “Mike, they are schoolgirls!”

    “I know…”

    He doesn’t understand us creative types…

    Latest news…

    ‘More than 3,000 scientists around the world are conducting research into the subject. Is there a secret key to happiness? And why is it so important anyway?

    Let’s start with the bad news: there is no such thing as a key to happiness, but there are my different ways of becoming happy. Author Leo Bormans appears to have found one of them: his book Geluk, The World Book of Happiness sold out in Flanders in four days. His guide to happiness went on sale in the Netherlands this week, and will eventually be translated into English, French and German.

    A hundred scientists from 50 countries writing from their own areas of expertise have made contributions to the book. No woolly language, no individual success stories, but knowledge based on research put down in no more than 1,000 words.’

    Spooky! I was thinking about being happy and what it would take. The scientists are trying to figure it out for me! I may even buy the book…

    You remember my latest ‘hospital’ post. I was on oxygen with the nurse keeping an eye on me, the one with the push-able buttons? Well they sorted me out and sent me back to the ward. That was when I went to sleep again; it was probably the drugs they pumped into me. You probably remember the Strawberry field’s episode where I saw the psychedelic colours? I’m listening to ‘Imagine’ now by John Lennon; it’s to stop me whistling Strawberry Field’s. Anyway, I go to sleep back on the ward and that was when I had the spooky dream. I did have a few spooky dreams in hospital. I had a spooky dream last night. I was writing and got sucked into the story! This spooky dream in the hospital was the spooky dream to end all spooky dreams and I was convinced it would come true. It was extremely lucid and a long dream. The Magical Mystery Tour album was good… Where was I? The dream… I dreamt I was driving a car and it was really great. I have to check out a car for Shari, I’ve forgotten which one already. I was driving the car and it was a pleasure to drive. The most striking thing though that I remembered was the colour, it was unusual being metallic baby blue. I bought the car about 18 months later and still have it… Spooky! I think there is a photograph of it on my website. The colour is very popular with women, so guys forget sexy red and mysterious black; if you want to pull, get baby blue. It helps if you’re a writer too, driving baby blue! I should write a book, how to be popular with young ladies… That was in my dream too! Spooky!

    Money doesn’t buy happiness but it helps… I had an email from the UK National Lottery this morning; it got the blood circulating a bit faster for a micro-second. Nah, I didn’t win, they want me to buy some tickets. That’s like the guy with loads of debts and nearly bankrupt. He prays to God, “Please God help me win the lottery, I can’t bear the shame of bankruptcy,” and a voice from above booms, “Have you ever thought about buying a ticket?” Where was I? The Spooky Dream, I won the lottery! I didn’t just win, I won a special draw! A rollover or a super-draw! I just bought my tickets and it’s a rollover on Saturday and the jackpot is over £10 million! Spooky! I won’t win… Nice thought but in the dream the sun was in my eyes when the results came on the television; it’ll be dark when the results come on this Saturday. I’ll have to wait until next May or July for the sun to be setting when the lottery is drawn; but it’s something to look forward to.

    I was invited to connect on LinkedIn yesterday and a young lady. She is a very talented illustrator and a student at university. She gave me a good recommendation and said I was nice; everyone says that I’m nice… She asked me to introduce her to aspiring writers; I have introduced her to Jane who I’m co-writing ‘Chrisma’ with.

    That reminds me, I read somewhere that Shari wants to collaborate on a sci fi novel. I forget where. She would like my sci fi video, it’s in HD. Princess Pinkeira rules the planet Purpura where they worship the purple sun and of course Princess Pinkeira. They are the purple people eaters, you may have heard of them. The purple people rule their galaxy and gain power from the purple sun. The purple sun protects. I may look at Live spaces and see if I can upload that video and share it with my friends, it’s around 60 Mb and so needs some space.

    Cascading

    Cascading is a little like sending a chain letter or one of those nuisance emails that asks you to forward it to ten friends and have good luck or have terrible bad luck and a sexually transmitted disease if you don’t forward it. Cascading is disseminating information by consent and can apply to phone calls and usually does. You have a list in case of emergency and at the top will be the phone numbers of emergency services and that sort of thing and then key people follow. They may not be available and so compiling the list needs careful thought. What if the first person isn’t available? Then you go to number two on the list. What if they are available? Then you skip number two. You get the idea, you work your way down a list until all key personnel or human remains, if someone dreamless is in charge, gets the message… I think I explained that well, but you can use any method of communication, written, telephone, text, email or carrier pigeon.

    My mind has gone blank on 1002 words… Spooky…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
33. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 21, 2010

    Thursday, 21 October 2010, Sierra Oscar… It is me again…
    In England we talk about whatever we want – the weather is spooky today. 0C this morning and 9C this afternoon the forecast said. It was freezing yesterday afternoon, we washed the cars and I got wet when the hose came off the pressure washer. My friend was using the pressure washer and young ladies were coming past collecting their kids from school. most of them say hello to me. Then two teenage schoolgirls walked past. I thought that one looks just like Becky in my ‘abduction’ novel. I was hoping she would turn around and I could see if she was wearing make up and what she looked like. My friend saw me looking at them, he said “Mike, they are schoolgirls!”

    “I know…”

    He doesn’t understand us creative types…

    Latest news…
    
    ‘More than 3,000 scientists around the world are conducting research into the subject. Is there a secret key to happiness? And why is it so important anyway?

    Let’s start with the bad news: there is no such thing as a key to happiness, but there are my different ways of becoming happy. Author Leo Bormans appears to have found one of them: his book Geluk, The World Book of Happiness sold out in Flanders in four days. His guide to happiness went on sale in the Netherlands this week, and will eventually be translated into English, French and German.

    A hundred scientists from 50 countries writing from their own areas of expertise have made contributions to the book. No woolly language, no individual success stories, but knowledge based on research put down in no more than 1,000 words.’

    Spooky! I was thinking about being happy and what it would take. The scientists are trying to figure it out for me! I may even buy the book…

    You remember my latest ‘hospital’ post. I was on oxygen with the nurse keeping an eye on me, the one with the push-able buttons? Well they sorted me out and sent me back to the ward. That was when I went to sleep again; it was probably the drugs they pumped into me. You probably remember the Strawberry field’s episode where I saw the psychedelic colours? I’m listening to ‘Imagine’ now by John Lennon; it’s to stop me whistling Strawberry Field’s. Anyway, I go to sleep back on the ward and that was when I had the spooky dream. I did have a few spooky dreams in hospital. I had a spooky dream last night. I was writing and got sucked into the story! This spooky dream in the hospital was the spooky dream to end all spooky dreams and I was convinced it would come true. It was extremely lucid and a long dream. The Magical Mystery Tour album was good… Where was I? The dream… I dreamt I was driving a car and it was really great. I have to check out a car for Shari, I’ve forgotten which one already. I was driving the car and it was a pleasure to drive. The most striking thing though that I remembered was the colour, it was unusual being metallic baby blue. I bought the car about 18 months later and still have it… Spooky! I think there is a photograph of it on my website. The colour is very popular with women, so guys forget sexy and red and mysterious black; if you want to pull get baby blue. It helps if you’re a writer too, driving baby blue! I should write a book, how to be popular with young ladies… That was in my dream too! Spooky!

    Money doesn’t buy happiness but it helps… I had an email from the UK National Lottery this morning; it got the blood circulating a bit faster for a micro-second. Nah, I didn’t win, they want me to buy some tickets. That’s like the guy with loads of debts and nearly bankrupt. He prays to God, “Please God help me win the lottery, I can’t bear the shame of bankruptcy,” and a voice from above booms, “Have you ever thought about buying a ticket?” Where was I? The Spooky Dream, I won the lottery! I didn’t just win, I won a special draw! A rollover or a super-draw! I just bought my tickets and it’s a rollover on Saturday and the jackpot is over £10 million! Spooky! I won’t win… Nice thought but in the dream the sun was in my eyes when the results came on the television; it’ll be dark when the results come on this Saturday. I’ll have to wait until next May or July for the sun to be setting when the lottery is drawn; but it’s something to look forward to.

    I was invited to connect on LinkedIn yesterday and a young lady. She is a very talented illustrator and a student at university. She gave me a good recommendation and said I was nice; everyone says that I’m nice… She asked me to introduce her to aspiring writers; I have introduced her to Jane who I’m co-writing ‘Chrisma’ with.

    That reminds me, I read somewhere that Shari wants to collaborate on a sci fi novel. I forget where. She would like my sci fi video, it’s in HD. Princess Pinkeira rules the planet Purpura where they worship the purple sun and of course Princess Pinkeira. They are the purple people eaters, you may have heard of them. The purple people rule their galaxy and gain power from the purple sun. The purple sun protects. I may look at Live spaces and see if I can upload that video and share it with my friends, it’s around 60 Mb and so needs some space.

    Cascading

    Cascading is a little like sending a chain letter or one of those nuisance emails that asks you to forward it to ten friends and have good luck or have terrible bad luck and a sexually transmitted disease if you don’t forward it. Cascading is disseminating information by consent and can apply to phone calls and usually does. You have a list in case of emergency and at the top will be the phone numbers of emergency services and that sort of thing and then key people follow. They have not be available and so compiling the list needs careful thought. What if the first person isn’t available? Then you go to number two on the list. What if they are available? Then you skip number two. You get the idea, you work your way down a list until all key personnel or human remains, if someone dreamless is in charge, gets the message… I think I explained that well, but you can use any method of communication, written, telephone, text, email or carrier pigeon.

    My mind has gone blank on 1002 words… Spooky…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
34. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 22, 2010

    Make your first million with Twitter.

    I couldn’t post my blog yesterday and so you are getting it today assuming it posts. Today’s blog was about making your first million with Twitter and getting rich and I thought if I had time I could write about getting a free vacation in Hawaii with Twitter, but I am really short on time; I have to pack…

    I think Hawaii is 5 hours ahead of the U.K. I can take off at lunchtime and land at lunchtime – do I have lunch before I take off, on the plane or after I land? I’m not used to being a jet setter.

    I have discovered a lot in 48 hours about Twitter: you can do all sort of things besides becoming rich and famous; not that I want any more fame. I have already seen the paparazzi hanging around outside the chip shop with their long lens DSLR cameras.

    Anyway, money doesn’t buy happiness, which is what I wrote about yesterday. I’ll be back tomorrow, I hope the sun screen doesn’t get on my keyboard like last time…

    Yesterday’s blog-in-a-blog…

    Thursday, 21 October 2010, Sierra Oscar… It is me again…

    Latest news…
    
    ‘More than 3,000 scientists around the world are conducting research into the subject. Is there a secret key to happiness? And why is it so important anyway?

    Let’s start with the bad news: there is no such thing as a key to happiness, but there are my different ways of becoming happy. Author Leo Bormans appears to have found one of them: his book Geluk, The World Book of Happiness sold out in Flanders in four days. His guide to happiness went on sale in the Netherlands this week, and will eventually be translated into English, French and German.

    A hundred scientists from 50 countries writing from their own areas of expertise have made contributions to the book. No woolly language, no individual success stories, but knowledge based on research put down in no more than 1,000 words.’

    Spooky! I was thinking about being happy and what it would take. The scientists are trying to figure it out for me! I may even buy the book…

    You remember my latest ‘hospital’ post. I was on oxygen with the nurse keeping an eye on me, the one with the push-able buttons? Well they sorted me out and sent me back to the ward. That was when I went to sleep again; it was probably the drugs they pumped into me. You probably remember the Strawberry field’s episode where I saw the psychedelic colours? I’m listening to ‘Imagine’ now by John Lennon; it’s to stop me whistling Strawberry Fields. Anyway, I go to sleep back on the ward and that was when I had the spooky dream. I did have a few spooky dreams in hospital. I had a spooky dream last night. I was writing and got sucked into the story! This spooky dream in the hospital was the spooky dream to end all spooky dreams and I was convinced it would come true. It was extremely lucid and a long dream. The Magical Mystery Tour album was good… Where was I? The dream… I dreamt I was driving a car and it was really great. I have to check out a car for Shari, I’ve forgotten which one already. I was driving the car and it was a pleasure to drive. The most striking thing though that I remembered was the colour, it was unusual being metallic baby blue. I bought the car about 18 months later and still have it… Spooky! I think there is a photograph of it on my website. The colour is very popular with women, so guys forget sexy red and mysterious black; if you want to pull get baby blue. It helps if you’re a writer, too, driving baby blue! I should write a book, how to be popular with young ladies… That was in my dream too! Spooky!

    Money doesn’t buy happiness but it helps… I had an email from the UK National Lottery this morning; it got the blood circulating a bit faster for a micro-second. Nah, I didn’t win; they want me to buy some tickets. That’s like the guy with loads of debts and nearly bankrupt. He prays to God, “Please God help me win the lottery, I can’t bear the shame of bankruptcy,” and a voice from above booms, “Have you ever thought about buying a ticket?”

    Where was I? The Spooky Dream, I won the lottery! I didn’t just win, I won a special draw! A rollover or a super-draw! I just bought my tickets and it’s a rollover on Saturday and the jackpot is over £10 million! Spooky! I won’t win… Nice thought, but in the dream the sun was in my eyes when the results came on the television; it’ll be dark when the results come on this Saturday. I’ll have to wait until next May or July for the sun to be setting when the lottery is drawn; but it’s something to look forward to.

    I was invited to connect on LinkedIn yesterday — and by a young lady. She is a very talented illustrator and a student at university. She gave me a good recommendation and said I was nice; everyone says that I’m nice… She asked me to introduce her to aspiring writers; I have introduced her to Jane who I’m co-writing ‘Chrisma’ with.

    That reminds me, I read somewhere that Shari wants to collaborate on a sci fi novel. I forget where. She would like my sci fi video, it’s in HD. Princess Pinkeira rules the planet Purpura where they worship the purple sun and of course Princess Pinkeira. They are the purple people eaters, you may have heard of them. The purple people rule their galaxy and gain power from the purple sun. The purple sun protects. I may look at Live spaces and see if I can upload that video and share it with my friends, it’s around 60 Mb and so needs some space.

    Cascading

    Cascading is a little like sending a chain letter or one of those nuisance emails that asks you to forward it to ten friends and have good luck or have terrible bad luck and a sexually transmitted disease if you don’t forward it. Cascading is disseminating information by consent and can apply to phone calls and usually does. You have a list in case of emergency and at the top will be the phone numbers of emergency services and that sort of thing and then key people follow. They have not be available and so compiling the list needs careful thought. What if the first person isn’t available? Then you go to number two on the list. What if they are available? Then you skip number two. You get the idea, you work your way down a list until all key personnel or human remains, if someone dreamless is in charge, gets the message… I think I explained that well, but you can use any method of communication, written, telephone, text, email or carrier pigeon.

    My mind has gone blank on 1002 words… Spooky…

    … is an ellipsis.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 22, 2010

       I like red, but then I’m a different generation than the young ones.
       🙂 And . . . another birthday in a week. I feel like I’m getting wiser by the minute.

       Thanks for the tip on the Amanti, and I’m looking for other comments. It was really nice looking and drove like a dream. What have you heard about the Mitsubishi Galante?

       Re: Happiness. They say that EXPERIENCES bring more joy than things, but I want a newish, more luxurious car, anyway.

       My mind went blank as you were explaining CASCADE; as my son says it you can’t explain it to a 6-year-old . . . ooooops, I’m not going to finish that thought because it’s really not all in the “explainer” — more often than not it’s in the inattention of the reader [sad to say].

       HERE’S A GREAT PIECE I READ ABOUT HAPPINESS. I emailed it to people [cascading it?] but didn’t have the URL, or maybe I did, but the people I sent it to would prefer the text because they probably wouldn’t have clicked on the URL. We do need to give people info the way they want it, not the way we want it:

       Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricardclaims you can practice your way to happiness, and he should know: After MRI scans showed that he experienced extreme levels of positive emotions and few negative ones, he became known as “the happiest man in the world.” Trained as a cell biologist in France, Ricard moved to the Himalayas in 1972 to study Buddhism. He’s now a translator, a photographer and the Dalai Lama’s French interpreter. His books — the proceeds of which go to 41 humanitarian projects in the remote Himalayas — include “The Monk and the Philosopher” (a dialogue with his father, a famed philosopher), “Happiness: a Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill,” and, most recently, “Why Meditate?” AOL Health spoke with Ricard about the cultivation of happiness, the benefits of altruism and how 30 silent minutes a day can change your life.

       Do you think you’re the happiest man in the world?
       It’s better than the unhappiest person in the world. It was a cover line on a Buddhist independent journal. Of course it’s cute, but it doesn’t rest on scientific evidence. I took part in some ongoing studies on compassion. It’s a jump to say my results mean that.

       What is happiness?
       Happiness is a way of being rather than an endless search for experiences. Pleasure is fine but depends on things that are subject to change: people, places, things. Something tastes good; fire warms you when you’re cold. But then this experience turns neutral or averse: Even the most beautiful music is unpleasant after 24 straight hours. But happiness is a more durable state. It’s a cluster of basic human qualities that nurture a state of fulfillment, flourishing, of appreciating your life. It’s inner freedom, inner strength, inner peace. These are the resources to deal with the struggles of life. The more you experience happiness, the deeper and more stable it becomes.

       You link meditation with happiness. Why?
       Meditation is not an exotic eastern practice but is actually mind training. We all have a mind and can work with it.

       So the basis of happiness is mind training?
       In the sense that mind training means harnessing the potential we have for less vulnerability to provocation from outside. Meditation helps you cultivate a better emotional balance and inner freedom so you are not a slave of impulses like anger and craving.

       And you do this by sitting for 30 minutes a day?
       There are different types of meditation, and I tried to gather all these exercises into a small manual for a Western audience [“Why Meditation?”]. But in clinical trials that study the effects of meditation in the West, 30 minutes a day has been the foundation. We always see that after three months, meditation has had a significant effect inreducing stress and the tendency toward depression. It reinforces the immune system and positive emotions. It’s been studied for 10 years in the West. Sitting for that precious 30 minutes modifies the quality of the other 23 hours and 30 minutes.

       So happiness is a skill?
       Pleasure cannot be cultivated — only renewed. But you can cultivate inner peace, strength, freedom — the qualities that create genuine happiness. We start with different baselines: For instance, everyone will not become a champion of tennis, but within a few months or a few years of training, even a beginner can become a decent player and enjoy it.

       Do negative emotions, like anger, have a purpose?
       If you witness someone beating a child or an injustice, anger can motivate you to do something. But all the studies have shown that people who systematically vent their anger just reinforce their tendency to be angry. You don’t just want to suppress it or you’ll be like a time bomb. Instead, you look at your anger and let it vanish. When you cease to fuel a fire, it slowly dies out.

       You’re not talking about being a pushover.
       A mother who gets angry and aggressive is taken over by nerves. A mother can be loving but still firm, straight and a bit severe. You can extend that attitude of the mother to others.

       What about sadness?
       Sadness is not incompatible with happiness because happiness is not just a pleasant sensation. Sadness can help you feel compassion. Even when you are sad, you can continue to do wonderful things.

       What is the relationship between happiness and ambition?
       Ambition for wealth, fame or power puts our hopes and fears outside ourselves. It’s individualistic, self-centered and egocentric. But ambition in terms of becoming a better person, preserving the environment or finding inner peace can motivate you.

       The search for material goods seems to become a cycle for people — the emptier they feel, the more money and stuff they seek to fill the void.
       Yes, they feel empty so they go for a shopping spree or get a younger wife. You get addicted to selfishness.

       Is it a lost cause with some people?
       Sometimes people say, “I can’t sleep.” I say, “We have a clinic next door — go help, and I bet after two weeks, you will be able to sleep.” They come back with a more humane perspective and find satisfaction and fulfillment.

       So to snap out of it, help other people?
       I’ve seen many successful people who feel empty. They start helping underprivileged kids and find such meaning in life. Everything is different.

       People assume altruism may make them unhappy.
       Your primary motive is to help others, but it’s also the best way to be happy yourself. Ayn Rand said that you should be selfish and should not sacrifice any part of yourself. She didn’t get the point. Altruism is the best way to make yourself happy. If you look at living beings and see how your actions can contribute to a more compassionate society, you flourish.

       Reply
35. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 22, 2010

    That’s a long comment, I didn’t get the beginning about ‘I like red’ it must be American. I forgot when the people get the phone call or whatever in cascading they too have a list and pass the message on. It is like an organised chain letter. Very organised to disseminate information to a lot of key people in a short space of time. With email and groups it is easier to send information out to a large number of people but many mail servers have limits. Some email clients will send 50 emails at a time to a group; I think the Bat! does that. A good idea with email is to do a newsletter as an email. I did one for some time and then someone else took it over while I was in hospital for 3 weeks and it sort of lost subscribers fast.

    The best thing to do with an email is to make it a list of headlines with links to blogs and websites where all the information, so people can choose what they want to read about or the pictures they want to view. Even the videos they want to see if you ahve them embedded on a websites.

    I am now toying with several ideas. How to make a fortune with twitter? Yes, I have an idea! I may also consider serialising a novel in a blog now I have made a start with a WordPress blog: http://mike10613.wordpress.com/ 🙂

    Now did you make a fashion statement wearing something black today as predicted in your Chinese horoscope? I know there was a meeting, I have Twitter! 🙂

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 23, 2010

       The RED had to do with color of car in your post — you said women liked guys in blue cars.
       🙂
       I’ve considered a newsletter, but so far I’d rather stick to all the other blog writing I’m doing. If a do do a newsletter, I’d want to charge.
       🙂

       There was black in my blue dress
       🙂
       I gave two blogging workshops, and from what I heard, they were very well received.
       :-)))
       Going somewhere tonight a Ladies Night Out with Martinis or something like that. I saw your comment so I answered it first.
       Later . . .

       Reply
36. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 23, 2010

    23-10-2010 Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Farmville.

    It’s Saturday morning and lottery day. 🙂 My lead at Farmville was cut overnight as usual, but this appears to happen ever weekend! My friend is now on Level 94, the same level as me and has crossed the psychologically advantageous 1,000,000 XP mark. It’s not so advantageous when you’re the second person to do it though. I need to try to get to level 95 and frustrate my rival today! I did it last weekend!

    I read this week if you’re going to flirt with women on Facebook that you shouldn’t play Farmville. It’s probably good advice. I had a woman send me a message this week, “You must love me, you send me so many Farmville gifts,” it’s hardly romantic when you send pig slop and fertiliser. I did a dating thing on one social networking site for fun and the women I matched with were in England and Thailand. The one in Thailand had over 500 things in common with me and the one in England now plays Farmville! What’s my advice on flirting? Get a blue car and become a writer or artist…

    This week.

    I wrote a chapter of ‘Chrisma’ that is the novel about Christian, a soldier who suffers from post traumatic stress disorder and is a really funny comedy. Jane is the co-writer and it’s her turn to write a chapter now. I wrote five chapters of my new novel, provisionally called ‘Abduction’, I need a new name that will have a better SEO if it’s published. I think a prefix for ‘Abduction’ may do it; ‘The Stockholm Abduction’ or something like that. People get very anxious and then depressed if things get bad; the symptoms can appear to be like schizophrenia. I decided to push to the limit and Becky is getting more depressed and starting to have schizophrenic symptoms. She is extremely unstable now. I have of course done some blogging this week and started my WordPress blog. I joined Twitter and will tweet stuff at some stage. I have a great idea for a get rich with twitter blog. I have to read a book though; I have promised to write a review and it seems longer than I thought. It looks interesting and I’ll perhaps mention it as I read it or when I have read it. If it’s good I’ll review it on the website that I promised to review it on; if I can remember which website! 🙂 I can review it here and on the Jake West site. I think new authors should be helped by writers like me who understand publicising. I can do a good review in my WordPress blog too. That is assuming its any good! 🙂

    I washed the car this week and jet washed the wheels. I did some ironing and cleaned the house; I did well, really. Some young lady asked what sort of week I had on Facebook, I answered and she seems impressed with all the stuff I do, writing, videos and car washing… This is not a good Facebook flirting technique; get a blue car; it works… 🙂

    The Rollover.

    My mind went blank then and came back to life when I remembered the lottery rollover; no one won on Wednesday. They said the jackpot would be over ten million; no one could have won last week either?

    I could use ten million; the government cuts could affect me after all. I am sort of in favour of some cuts. We have all seen kids play with the empty box on Christmas day and ignore the expensive present. Where I live they have expensive adventure playgrounds that always seem to be empty to me or one kid looking lonely watched by a nervous mother as he attempts to break his bloody neck on the climbing frame. They want to spend millions building more of them and the government cut the money off. They have also built a training centre near me to train the ladies who help kids eat their lunch in school. I accept that some kids have severe problems and need help, but do the ladies who do it need special training and a certificate? The kids’ mum didn’t get special training and a certificate. I think all mothers should get pre-motherhood training, but that would require an ideal world and is just my personal opinion.

    Lots of people seem to work in HR these days, there is only so much you can do with Human Remains — why does it take so many people?

    I liked the quote from the prime minister of Japan, I can’t remember it; but I liked it. George (funny Walker) Bush said that America must cut welfare for the elderly because there were too many baby boomers and not enough young people to pay their welfare in the State ponzi scheme (words to that effect). The Prime Minister of Japan that same week said that they needed more productivity and more robots, more technology to improve output and create wealth to pay for the welfare of retired baby boomers (words to that effect). I like the Japanese idea better, but Japan has been stuck in a recession for over ten years caused by a property bubble and has no signs of recovery despite stimulus, quantitative easing and real term negative interest rates. (I write on economics in my spare time). They are both politicians though and fine words are fine, but will come to nothing.
    
    ‘True, This! —
    Beneath the rule of men entirely great,
    The pen is mightier than the sword. Behold
    The arch-enchanters wand! — itself a nothing! —
    But taking sorcery from the master-hand
    To paralyse the Cæsars, and to strike
    The loud earth breathless! — Take away the sword —
    States can be saved without it!’
    
    Now if the pen of Victorian England was supposedly mightier than the sword, how powerful is the computer with its word processor and all pervasive grammar and spellchecker? If the government annoys us enough, they will find out us writers are a bad enemy to have!

    I read this morning about disabled people getting their services and benefits cut and starting to man the barricades and people who aren’t disabled are prepared to join them. We can write and we can vote and we can write and influence peoples’ votes, the old Etonian politicians should beware. Cutting waste and increasing efficiency is one thing, bullying the elderly, disabled and children is unacceptable in Britain and we will kick your backsides out of Westminster as soon as possible; even if it means voting for the Monster raving Loony party; whatever happened to them?

    This blog-in-a-blog is not very funny; maybe my Sunday rambling tomorrow will be better?

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 23, 2010

       1) I’ve got it: Write a “novel” called Farmville for Dummies. You’d probably have to add-a-word to the beginning, middle or end so that you wouldn’t have trademark problems with the “Dummies” series of How-to books, I suspect.

       2) I loved today’s post and may buy a blue car as a result! If any young girls are attracted to it, I can send them your way — or at least get them to read your blog-within-the-blog.

       3) OK, this has little to do with what you’ve written today except the part about “The pen being mightier . . . ” but yesterday when I was participating in the Social Media Business conference, I attended [for as long as I could take it] a roundtable discussion about one company’s “success story” with social media AND I thought it was silly what they did and may write that — but probably not mentioning their name since I own stock in the company.

       So tell me your take on what they thought was so wonderful: The company hired an intern to dream up a campaign that would show the company was cool & hip, so he did a series of Rap Videos that went viral . . . and VOILA, the company now thinks it is hip, and so do some college kids. I asked what the objectives and what kind of evaluation they did — and whatever the response was added up to zero in my mind.

       So what do you think? Or do I need to give you more details? Or perhaps I ought to just worry about test driving my blue car and not dig at the company and their silly attempt at social media.

       Reply
37. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 23, 2010

    I shall blog Farmville for the Dreamless…

    A rap video went viral? Now that is appealing to the dreamless, but my friend is saying we shouldn’t discriminate against them. He pasted this last night or this morning – depending on your time zone. It was probably Saturday morning in Sydney Australia anyway:
    
    Please put this on your status if you know someone, or are related to someone who suffers from stupidity: People need to understand that stupidity is real, and should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a sufferer right now. There is still no known cure for stupidity and………sympathy doesn’t help, but we can raise awareness. 93% won’t copy& paste this because they don’t know how to copy & paste.

    If you want to get to people and have them pay attention, serious stuff dressed up in humour is a good way of doing it. Tell the company to get advice from me next time for a suitably obscene consultancy fee…

    I am reading a great writer. The prologue had one of two mistakes and there are Americanisms like gotten (Agghhh) and it hasn’t been through the usual editorial process because there are errors all through the novel. The story though is well written and I’ve only read 2 chapters. It take a lot to impress me! I shall write reviews on this good or bad. The bad will probably be the editing and the good the writing. The writer has the potential to be great and you don’t see that often.

    Finally this is my car, nice colour:

    http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m293/Mike10613/mike1/Mike2/Vauxhallvectra001.jpg

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 23, 2010

       It is a nice color!

       Reply
    2. 

       sharisax

       October 24, 2010

       How is it that your brother is most likely to visit the future?

       Reply
38. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 24, 2010

    Sunday, 24 October 2010 Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    Farmville

    I nearly phoned the hospital and asked my clone to write my blog this morning, but he is busy playing Farmville. My friend scored over 25,000 XP overnight to get on the same level as me yesterday. I watched the end of the disaster film in bed last night and then moved on to the next level. She will be asking this morning, “How did he do that?” I am now watching cash flow, doing time management and fuel management; that is a lot of management for a computer game…

    Sunday in England

    The sun is shining and it’s spookily quiet outside. A large bird just flew past and judging by the wing span I think it was a sparrow hawk, naturally all the smaller birds have disappeared with that on the prowl. Even Squirrelly Nut is no where to be seen. I haven’t seen her for days now; she is usually out when it’s sunny.

    More psychology…

    You may remember smart people dream and the more stupid ones are dreamless… My Australian friend reminded me this week that people can’t help being dreamless and there is no known cure. We can only try to raise awareness and give the dreamless ones some support. You may not have noticed but everyone is different, not just physically but psychologically. There are many people now that claim to see the future! Spooky! Can we see the future? Yes, to a certain extent, but the dreamless ones can’t. I knew what today had in store when I got out of bed this morning; I could predict the day even more accurately if I phoned my brother, because he is the only one likely to visit. It is easier to predict the future if you don’t interact with others. If we developed our talents for predicting the future we could avoid accidents. For example you’re driving along and someone drives into the back of you. This starts a chain of events that could even lead to you looking for a new car. It’s predictable! You get out of the car and survey the damage and then approach the other driver and you say “I’m not happy,” and what does the dwarf sitting in the other car say? “Neither am I!”

    In the novel I started writing this week, ‘Abduction’ poor Becky is being controlled and abused, she has no say over what comes next. She isn’t one of the dreamless,/i> ones and knows bad things could happen, she could get raped or anything. She doesn’t know what will happen next, she can’t predict her own future… What happens when people can’t predict the future any more? They start going nuts, or to be more precise they display schizophrenic symptoms. These symptoms can be real schizophrenia or they can be just temporary. Becky is being really nice to her abductor and then she suddenly changes and screams, “Don’t touch me, I’m so dirty,” and runs away from him. Becky has no control over her life and so can’t make any predictions and just behaves as appropriate for that moment in time. She says she likes her abductor one minute so she can avoid punishment and runs from him the next to avoid being touched or worse raped. There is logic in her behaviour but a weird logic that becomes more and more schizophrenic.

    I predicted my day quite well; my brother did drop in for a couple of hours. I won’t go into that conversation but cars that use more fuel after some time we discovered may have a problem with the catalytic converter – another problem brain stormed and solved. We also discussed things that happen in hospital and people who have died recently; but I won’t bore you with that. The point is we can predict our future with some accuracy and we do tend to do it subconsciously and even when we dream; unless we are dreamless of course.

    The psychology of the collective.

    Psychology is usually about individual thoughts, beliefs and behaviour; but can be about how we behave collectively and our collective beliefs. It is important to understand collective psychology if you want to influence people using social networking. What do the dreamless in Starbucks believe who work in the ‘city’ and buy and sell stocks for the ‘rich and dreamless’; that young heiress with more money than sense. We should also consider the pension funds that fund the CEO’s that run them. The dreamless Starbucks crowd are also very active in social networking, updating their status on Facebook and Twitter while drinking their coffee and picking up gossip on the latest stock prices. What if a Tweet says Shell has struck oil and the stock price is about to rocket? There could be a mad rush back to their computers to get more details! Even the dreamless are motivated by money and can spot an opportunity occasionally. Of course there has to be a little substance to a rumour of a stock market price rise being tweeted around. You can make money on these rumours though and if the rumour says the stock price will rise and you buy and every else buys; the price goes up because of the simple laws of supply and demand. You increase demand with a tweeted rumour; buy before it goes up and sell before the rumour dies a natural death and you make money. You just keep investing on the strength of rumours; maybe even start a few rumours and quite soon you could have your first million. Remember me when you’re rich, I got you started on the road to riches…

    If you can predict the future like me and aren’t completely dreamless, you may have already done the research, chosen a stock and bought it! I have yes and so what is the next step? I simply write all my research into a blog explaining why I think a takeover bid is imminent and why that will send the stock price to double it’s current level or better and we all make money! I have a problem with the bloody apostrophe in it’s again, it’s a nuisance. It’s possessive the apostrophe can stay… You get my drift anyway, there is money in social networking if you understand the psychology of the collective and can influence the beliefs not just of one person but of the many. I was just starting to get interesting then and I hit 1,000 words and my mind went blank again…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 24, 2010

       Playing Farmville reminds me of all this blogging: No $$$ yet, but we’re building those skills, right?

       Reply
39. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 25, 2010

    Sierra Oscar it me and not a clone of me…

    We’re going Chinese today, it’s Monday…

    Buddha
    
    “Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

    Quantified SWOT.
    
    Quantified SWOT is Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats.

    I have analysed my external Opportunities and Threats and also my internal Strengths and Weaknesses. I feel I can balance these in the long term to achieve success in my education and in life in general. We live in a changing world where new marketing techniques are being used to reach whole continents of people and I hope to learn about these new opportunities. Recently a computer company (DELL) sold millions of dollars worth of computers using the social networking site Twitter and found from reading Tweets that one of their products had an over-heating problem. Many companies have a Facebook page; individuals such as authors have Facebook pages and market through Fan pages. These marketing practices are new and revolutionary and we have to use them to reach and penetrate the vast markets of the United States, the European Community (EU) and emerging markets such as India, Brazil and Russia that are growing fast; as is as our own.

    That is an excerpt from my friend’s ‘homework’ on SWOT. She is studying International business Studies at Xiaogan University in China and will study for her Masters in England in 2 years time. They work hard; I had both students asking for help at 5pm – midnight on Sunday in China. Can students in the West compete with them? I found out how much the local police here pay Chinese interpreters. I need to learn Chinese! I told my friend in China she only needs to do 4 hours interpreting on a Sunday afternoon. That pays more than most people earn in a week.

    American students will have fun and compete for popularity. British students will drink too much as they have traditionally done. The Chinese will take their jobs, their futures and all their opportunities and who can blame them?

    We should perhaps become role models for young people and show them that working smart can be fun and no harder than playing Farmville. Young people don’t play Farmville — it isn’t ‘cool’ enough. That means of course its embarrassing getting beat by the older generation. Young people can’t compete on equal terms and so don’t play.

    Spooky

    The third quarter of the Chinese year starts on the 6th of November. For me this will be an unpredictable time and unnerving too. It will also be a little depressing as Christmas and the New Year approaches. We are all different even though people’s Chinese horoscopes may have many things in common. The horoscope has to be interpreted and factors like sex, where a person lives, and so on make a difference. I got up this morning to frost on my car and a temperature of -3C, and this could influence my life over the next three months.

    Shari goes into a very different phase of her life and it starts this week in a way. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and she has had some ‘bad’ luck and so is due for an opposite reaction. This will begin on the 6th of November but there will be a few moments of ‘luck’ in the meantime. She will be pre-occupied with Christmas and New Year and particularly the Chinese New year that starts on the 3rd of February. This phase of her life is a prologue to the Chinese New year when things will really start to happen. By a nice coincidence they start to happen for me, too, and as it is also my birthday two days before the Chinese New Year on the first of February next year – that makes it even more interesting. I did say in her the Chinese astrology thing I did that something would happen the 10th of November. I think it involves her Grandson and a photograph, I wonder what that is about? I wonder if it’s someone’s birthday…

    I am quite good at interpreting these predictions. I was once bought a lot of drinks for telling people’s ‘fortunes’ but had a problem with one guy. I knew something weird and not good was going to happen to him; but what? I considered a traffic accident but it didn’t seem to fit. I told him what I knew and continued to enjoy my evening. He kept following me around and asking questions. I had a lot to drink and eventually asked if he planned to get married? I hit the jackpot! This was what he really wanted to know. Would the wedding go ahead? I was able to reassure him that it would. He asked how I knew and looking into my large scotch I said I was in touch with a spirit… 🙂 The bad news? Before he could get married, he had to have a heart-lung transplant. Interpreting his future was difficult, who would have seen that? It all made sense once I knew about the transplant. That was very spooky; thank God I wasn’t sober… 🙂

    I had some praise for my video making skills this morning and my friend wants to know how I made the video. I’ll send an email later, I should have sent an email before now, but she was very busy with a new job and her charity. I have an excuse to send an email now and give her info on how I made the video. My friend in Texas sent me an email and is playing all the games on Facebook; she read this blog yesterday and think this site is ‘pretty cool’.

    Isn’t it weird how my mind goes blank when I hit 1,000 words? I have to read a few chapters of the book I’m reviewing. I’m early today, I don’t normally start writing this until 11 and it is only 10:40 and nearly finished. I have laundry to do and a little cleaning, maybe finish the ironing? I have reading to do. I’ll write new chapters of my psychological thriller. I could make that HD video too and send my friend an email. I have to do a little on the new website I’m designing and maybe look at Twitter again; I’m told it’s addictive – only if you have nothing else to do… I could make another cup of tea… 🙂

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 25, 2010

       I love this post. Only problem is that there is so much to comment on, it’s hard to choose what to take on first. The comments about Chinese students ring so true. Malcolm Gladwell talked about that in his latest book Outliers. The Chinese will follow a problem through until they find a solution where too many young — and older — people give up because they are lazy and “dreamless.”

       Your drinking/prediction story was hilarious. Why not take that one incident and write a short story. If you don’t, I will
       🙂
       [or threaten to write it, anyway]

       I forgot if I’d told you about the “silly” social media success story — the one where a large company thinks social media “works” because they got an intern to do a rap video that went viral. Well, now, I suppose they can recruit a lot more dreamless interns. I’m not so certain that I’ll be keeping my stock in that company, though . . . if that is their idea of success.

       Reply
40. 

    Omipwhism

    October 25, 2010

    I love this site sharisax.com. Lot of great information. I am Tech guy. I have been a Desktop Technician since 1997 but have tons of other interests. In my spare time… Oh, wait I don’t have any of that (just kidding). Anyways, I have been aware of this website for quite some time and decided to join the community and contribute as well as learn a lot from others. I am excited to get started on the forum and am looking forward to a great journey together. Lots of potential friends and I look forward to meeting many online.

    Reply
41. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 26, 2010

    Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    I forgot I was going to do a (c)rap video for Halloween today. Hey man, be as scary as you can, you know it makes sense to have that freaky incense, gimme a high five, my man…

    It will never catch on… I’ll stick to tradition…

    Farmville

    I’m still leading at Farmville but my lead is being cut fast. My friends must be buying FV cash. I see two of them now scoring exceptionally high scores and they spent some time together when my friend went across to the other side of the pond for a holiday. I was increasing my lead last week, but now I know that was because he stopped her getting access to Facebook where she works; she has access again this week. New strategy – let her take the lead then just be difficult and make her struggle to maintain it! 

    Video

    I’m uploading a spooky video for Halloween to Facebook. I forgot how to do it; you should be able to click video on the page; but that doesn’t actually work. I have it uploading now and next will be a new Captain Jack video in a very high resolution. It’s a big file for a 2-minute video.

    Spooky…

    Shari wants more stories from the pub and there are a lot! I did drink alcohol though and so the memories sort of come and go. I’ll go back to a visit to a guy’s house over 40 years ago. I was very young and so it is a vague memory, but he had a lot of books and was a published author. He wrote books on hypnosis, yes, it gets spooky now. He taught me and my friend quite a lot about the secrets of hypnosis. I can’t remember his name and just tried to search the net and a similar name came up and this guy could be his son or something. The guy I met claimed to take people back to previous lives, I’m still sceptical; but the guy I just found on the Internet claims to take people back under hypnosis to when they were abducted by aliens. He could be related — it makes sense… I learned hypnosis anyway and it came in useful when I was doing counselling.

    It is better to condition someone so they are easily hypnotised and all you need then is technique and a lot of confidence. You know what’s coming next of course; don’t try this when you have been drinking! I came out of the pub and a woman stopped me on my way home. She wasn’t well and had a terrible migraine and I had been in the pub all evening. I was so ‘confident’ I was nearly paralytic. She was conditioned to hypnosis but I surprised myself when I put her in a trance ‘cured’ the migraine and brought her out of it all in the space of about 60 seconds. If I had been sober, that may well have been a world record… My life hasn’t exactly been happy, but it hasn’t been boring…

    There were two young ladies who came in the pub in the early days; by a weird coincidence I saw one of them yesterday. I was usually alone and they would call over to me to ‘sit with them’. I was invited to a party one night and of course bring my ‘friends’. I end up at this party and there are about 30 policemen, me and two young girls. How to you protect two young girls from 30 randy coppers who are extremely drunk? You can hardly call the cops… I came out of there at daybreak, I’m glad I was driving; I was in no fit state to walk home… It was OK; all the local cops were still at the party; most of them unconscious or semi-conscious. There was another woman at that party, a policeman’s wife. I won’t tell you about her, way too risqué…

    One of my neighbours used to go in the pub in those days, she was a hot 18 years old in those days who wore a mini skirt; she is a middle-aged mum of a lot of children now. I was with a woman one night and the hot babe walked past in her mini skirt and I looked and was sort of distracted for a moment. I apologised and asked what she said while my mind was elsewhere; she replied, “Don’t apologise, I wish my husband would take more of an interest.” That got everyone’s attention in the pub, I just said, “Say it a little louder. The guy playing pool at the other end of the bar missed that.” 🙂

    I’m trying to think of other stories. There was the woman who looked like a gypsy and I told her fortune and she read my palm; that was funny. New Year’s Eve was hilarious, go in fancy dress and get drunk. If you don’t believe me, there is a photo of me in fancy dress dressed as a Victorian gentleman; it’s my profile picture on Facebook. I did have more bizarre outfits; the clown was the funniest. There are lots of stories of the cops. There was the policewoman who passed out in the ladies toilet with her jeans and panties around her ankles. My friend helped me to get her out of there; he was just out of prison and on license. He smoked marijuana but couldn’t roll the spiffs; I could roll them as long as I hadn’t just washed my hands. I hypnotised his girl friend… 🙂 I was indecently assaulted by an older woman one night; well it would have been indecent if I hadn’t have enjoyed it so much. We had a gang start using the pub, they were weird, no ordinary gang, these were middle-aged men who never got past being teenagers. I served one two drinks and asked why all his friends called him ‘Lucy’. He said it was short for ‘Lucifer’ – ask a silly question. My mate, who ran the pub, would greet the local cop with the same line every evening, “How’s your missus and my kids?” That cop was a nasty piece of work, very polite and nice in public; but we used to try to guess the next injury his wife would get after they had an argument. My mate was always arguing with his wife. She had one leg and he used to infuriate her by hiding her false leg on top of the wardrobe. She sat on my lap crying one night and the false leg was heavy, it cut of the circulation to my leg; I was legless that night – we both were…

    My mind went blank and so I clicked the word count… I must remember to write about treason tomorrow, that was today’s subject… I forgot. I’ll check my video…

    A 13-year-old dreamless girl said my video is not kool? These young American girls are so educated in what is kool and what ain’t kool, not like my Chinese friend. She just thinks of the money – a lot like me…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 27, 2010

       Boys will be boys!

       Reply
42. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 27, 2010

    Farmville

    It probably won’t surprise you to know I am expecting to lose my lead at Farmville soon. I have a co-op going making red wine, but that is unlikely to save me. I am not buying Farmville cash; I refuse to stoop that low. Spend real money? No, it goes against the grain totally.

    Dreamless Neanderthals

    Science does it again; we now know that being dreamless is genetic. They have mapped out the genome of the Neanderthals and they are 98.7% the same as humans. This compared to 98.8% commonality with chimps. Around 50,000 years ago a good sex life consisted of a good club and your own cave. There are more males born than females of course, and so this led to a problem. Scientists now know how humans dealt with the shortage of females 50,000 years ago; they simply went out and clubbed a Neanderthal for sex and hence this inter-breeding led to what we now know to be the dreamless ones, not to be confused with the clueless ones.

    This research is important. I was going to organise a special day when we’re nice to the dreamless ones and empathise with their stupid behaviour. I don’t need to, though; they have already organised a special event for them! 🙂 The dreamless ones are more athletic than the dreamers and so in 2012 there will be a special event for the dreamless to show what they can do. This is an excellent idea, the dreamless Olympics is a beacon of hope for the dreamless. They have messed up the logo a little. They got the Olympic flame right but missed out the word dreamless. It’s just as well; we don’t want discrimination against the dreamless. Stupid cannot be cured and this event will provide an opportunity for the dreamless to show they can run, jump and do all kinds of things that makes us dreamers just feel worn out…

    Incidentally the Olympics are in London in 2012. Do come and watch; we need the foreign currency in the UK. Watching the dreamless run and jump is fascinating, so I’ve been told; people even watch it on television. I missed it last time when they did it in China; it was on television but I was decorating and I had to watch the paint dry…

    More research needs to be done; the genome of the dreamless needs further study. This could lead to all kinds of developments, special schools for the dreamless, for example. We already have some that are close by; I have a college of sport near my home but why put in computers when they can’t switch them on? We need more research into the needs of the dreamless. The research could be combined with research into the needs of the clueless, another minority. It appears the dreamless feel less pain than us and the Neanderthals pierced their bodies with bones and decorated then with jewellery and painted their bodies. They were also responsible for those early drawings you see on the inside of caves that look like they were done by a five-year-old human. I myself have seen dreamless ones with pierced bodies and they have strange markings too — a modern equivalent of body painting? I have seen the dreamless ones draw and paint pictures too. They still look like they have been done by a five-year-old.

    We must ask questions of the dreamless ones. Are the dreamless ones safe to drive, I have my doubts. Should the dreamless ones be allowed to remain in politics or should they be excluded them from elections? This could be awkward; what else could they do? Should the dreamless be excluded from certain occupations like banking? How do we tell a dreamless one when we are driving, do they prefer a certain make of car? Do they prefer a particular colour when choosing a car? The only thing we can be sure of is they don’t drive baby blue Vauxhalls. I suspect they could drive, French, Japanese, Korean, Chinese or Spanish cars with the odd dreamless ones going for Volkswagens. Do dreamless ones adorn their cars like they adorn their bodies? Are loud stereos or alloy wheels a sign of dreamlessness? We need answers to these burning questions, it is a safety issue. What if a dreamless one was left in charge of something like a nuclear reactor? It doesn’t bear thinking about. They would be watching the dials hit the red danger zone, listening to rap music turned up to an ear splitting volume; they wouldn’t even hear the alarm! What happens in the worlds greatest cities when stock market trading screens all turn red? Do the dreamless all go to Starbucks for coffee? Does coffee make the dreamless even more dreamless? We have a lot of questions and even though we have a financial crisis these things are too important to ignore. The latest remains of the dreamless ancestors the Neanderthals were found in China. China has loads of money; perhaps if we ask nicely they will fund the dreamless genome project.

    These things are being studied at the Max Planck Institute in Germany; I wonder if that is where the saying ‘As thick as two short plancks’ comes from. I hear that a lot around the dreamless ones. It appears the dreamless ones look different from us too. They can often be identified form the piercings and body painting, but very short hair or even no hair at all is a sign to look out for. They appear to have a thing about hair and will often dye it strange colours. I have seen dreamless one with orange hair. I know it’s spooky. I saw one with a Mohican hair style and orange hair only last week. I didn’t need to ask if he was dreamless or not; he had body painting and a ring through his nose. They say they feel so little pain they have their tongues pierced and things attached to them…

    I know you are asking are there any famous dreamless ones? Yes, Ozzy Osborne had his genome analysed and they found a link to the Neanderthals. He was of course the Prince of Darkness and with a rock band. I think he has body painting and he is probably pierced. If you look at his daughter you will realise the theories about it being genetic aren’t too far out… he has a strange bone structure that is typical of Neanderthal dreamless ones. You will notice he has similar facial features to many politicians and bankers. He of course colours his hair black, but unusually has it long! They don’t always have very short hair, spooky! Music again plays an important role in identifying the dreamless, heavy rock and rap music are important indicators.

    I got to over 1,000 words; it was an important subject though; be nice to a dreamless one today; they can’t help it bless ‘em.

    Tomorrow: Can HR provide employment opportunities for the dreamless?

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 28, 2010

       There must be a lesson to be learned regarding those who “invest” in FV cash and those who don’t, but I’m pretty certain I don’t want to spend time figuring it out. I’d probably prefer watching your paint dry.
       :-)\
       Before reading today’s post I was under the mistaken [?] impression that the Majority was made up of the Dreamless and the Clueless. My next question, Mike, has to be can we do anything to “help” [change] them and improve society in the meantime. I can see it now: Self help books teaching the Dreamless to Dream and the clueless to find the clues.

       I just read a blogger’s story about how she only wasted two months trying to sell the wrong things online, and then she did research. It’s pretty clear to me that if you and I wrote the above selfhelp books than Stephanie could make a mint [FV cash or no] selling our books, and then, of course, so would we.

       But if you would rather talk about HR help for the helpless [?], that could possibly lead to material for chapter one in both books.

       Reply
43. 

    sharisax

    October 28, 2010

    Mike, I found your Oct 21 post in my spam — so here we are finally.

    Reply
44. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 28, 2010

    Sierra Oscar I’m back

    Farmville.

    My friend cut my lead to 34,000 XP overnight; I think this confirms they are buying FV cash. I will not stoop so low; but will make it expensive and difficult to take my lead! Will get to level 100 a psychologically important level, before I lose the lead; with luck. I’m not too bothered…

    Dreamless, clueless or hopeless?

    This problem gets more complicated. The dreamless ones listen to rap and heavy metal music and have body piercing and tattoos and frequently pink hair. My friend rang, I always thought he was dreamless but he doesn’t fit the profile and he can read… He isn’t so good at writing which may be why he lost the note telling him when his next appointment with the psychiatrist is. This situation is not hopeless; he is not one of the hopeless ones who just keep listening to rap music regardless. Is he dreamless? It could be that he is a borderline case between dreamless and clueless. Yes! I never considered it before, perhaps more therapy and perhaps adult literacy classes could help. He could have been mis-diagnosed as dreamless when in fact he is just clueless and needs some education? We shouldn’t judge the dreamless and clueless too harshly, bless ‘em; they are not always hopeless. I checked at least I have helped, I found out where he has to go; now he can phone and ask when. I keep thinking my friend will phone me back. They have reorganised the mental health services and closed the day hospital. We call this the dreamless trying to help the clueless and the result is hopeless. I was going to the day hospital too, I was going to chat to the receptionist and give her an update on my writing; she was reading my novel on the computer. Most of the nurses were too. They can’t leave anything alone can they? Beware of dreamless people wearing suits.

    I was dreaming a lot last night. I woke up very early and one of those cop cars had that wailing siren on, they aren’t supposed to use those before 6 unless it’s a dire emergency like the chip shops on fire. They were probably joy riding on the motorway. I lay awake after that, I was thinking I could do a spooky blog for Halloween. I have already made a spooky video and put it on Facebook.

    I was on the phone for an hour the other day trying to get someone who wasn’t completely dreamless at my bank and then another hour for the phone company. Now both these companies have well over 10 million customers and I phone maybe twice a year. If everyone does that then we waste between us 40 million hours when we could be working. If we take an average pay of £20 an hour; this means the dreamless ones waste £800,000,000 a year at these two companies alone. There are three main problems. The clueless set up voice main systems, press 6 if your rear end is itching that sort of mindless stuff. I did the dreamless, clueless and hopeless – I forgot the mindless; mindless violence is a problem. The second problem is the dreamless in HR (Human remains) outsource the work of answering phones to the dreamless in places like Bangalore. A new super-hospital near me (yes, another) was going to cost £800,000,000 but because of government cuts will now have 30% less beds and cost about 30% less and the old hospital will be made a ‘community’ hospital. I shall avoid both like the plague; they have a dreamless culture there. I shall go to the next town and go to the usual super-hospital; they have my clone in the basement. That cost around £800,000,000 that’s about $1.2 billion; we know how to print money on this side of the pond…

    You too can blog…

    People say I make this look so easy. “I don’t have anything to write about.” Just look around, the international news is a good start, like the story of the bride in China with the headline ‘You may now kiss yourself’. It reminded me of those instructions in case of nuclear attack, ‘put your head between your legs – then kiss your a** goodbye!” 🙂

    My two Chinese friends are online but not sending me messages, strange… It’s early too; they will be going to ‘supper’ soon. It will be noodles and rice again.

    Everyone has a hospital, maybe you don’t live between two health authorities like me, run by dreamless ones, who get over $1 billion to build super-hospitals but you must have something. I have three friends online now, even weirder. They could be talking to each other… It’s only 3 am in California, 6pm in China… Sleepless in California… You can always find something to write about, the dreamless do all sorts of things and even appear on television. Some are rich like Simon Cowell; he could be clueless though – that is another borderline case I think. He doesn’t have his nose pierced and so he is probably clueless; he should invest in education – his own. In the case of writer’s block when your mind goes blank do a word count or if you need to write more look out of the window for inspiration. The weather can be inspiring, it’s cloudy today, but I can see red apples on the tree and if I watch the trees long enough I’ll see Squirrelly Nut swinging through screaming, “Me Jane, where the hell is Tarzan!” You see writing isn’t that hard, it just takes a little imagination and word craft. You don’t have to be mad, but it helps…

    The word count is on 953 words, I really find that useful and the list of things I have recently worked on displayed on the side of my screen. They include the assignment for my Chinese students, yesterday’s blog and my new psychological thriller ‘Abduction’. Becky has bad schizophrenic symptoms now and she got the locked kitchen drawer open and has access to knives! I’ll treat you to an excerpt of this erotica:

    Becky finished her tea and got up from the table, she was still shaking.
    “I really am sorry,” she said with tears streaming down her face, ‘I’ve feckin’ done it now, he hates me!’
    “Back to the room,” Sam scowled.
    Becky walked back to the room, head bowed and walked up to the wall, she turned and faced Sam with out-stretched arms. Her wrists stretched out to the shackles and opened her legs, ‘I am so going to so feckin’ enjoy this, you pervert.’
    Sam fastened the shackles, her wrists shackled he crouched down and shackled each ankle. Becky felt his hands touching her ankles. Then she felt his hands running up her leg, ‘about feckin’ time I thought you were feckin’ gay,’

    I found a bit that wasn’t too erotic or raunchy. That took the word count to over 1,000 words…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 28, 2010

       Cool stuff, Mike. This is another post that I may “bring to the front” — to advertise/promote you
       🙂

       Reply
45. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 29, 2010

    Sierra Oscar it is me… Friday, 29 October 2010

    Farmville.

    Shari sent me a link to a news item about a young woman shaking her baby in Florida because it was crying when she was playing Farmville. The dreamless person reporting the event connected the two, but even he noticed the blank staring look of the woman in the photograph. Yes, dreamless one, when we dream we get REM sleep, REM being rapid eye movement and lack of eye movement does indicate depression and most likely post-natal depression. What should we do with this mother who killed her baby while depressed and shook it when she shouldn’t? The answer is obvious to the dreamless ones… Execute her, the bitch! It’s Halloween on Sunday – let’s burn a few witches too! Who else can we get rid of while we’re at it? Jews, gays, the disabled, blacks, people from Pakistan, Muslims, unmarried mothers, kids with acne, kids who don’t have acne, old people who fart, ugly people, hells angels, dreamless people… Hold on, this idea came from the dreamless ones…

    Yesterday, I took my Farmville skills to another website and on this site you have $1,000,000 to invest on Wall Street. I started about 10 years ago. What have I learned? I have 4 funds and they all started with $1,000,000 which ones are losing money at the end of the worst recession since the 1930’s and are any making a profit? Would I share the information on which stocks to invest in and which to avoid? Two funds are high risk; in fact one is extreme high risk; that one is losing the most. The general fund is losing, but not much. I did one fund where I specialised in what I knew about and before the recession it was going up as much as 8% a month (too much, it’s a bubble). It was the success of this fund that made me certain that a recession was coming and we were had a bubble in equities. That fund is still profitable, the shares are on around $12 (originally $10) but down from their high of almost $17. The site gives me a breakdown of the shares and which have gained, some have doubled since I bought them and some at the bottom of the table have lost a huge 99% of their value. Shares that cost $50 can now be picked up for 5 cents. Are they worth buying? To get that information you have to play this game for 10 years and analyse everything. I beat the S&P index consistently, it didn’t start like that. Yeah, Farmville and online simulations are a game, unless you take them seriously…

    Treason?

    Yesterday, I wrote about two companies that follow dreamless fashion and outsource to call centres in developing economies. They waste over a $1 billion a year in doing so and act against the interests of the people of the United Kingdom. If I act against the Crown and breach the Official Secrets Act as an ex-government employee, it’s treason – punishable in English law by death. Do the boards of these companies commit treason by acting against the people?

    The solution to many of our economic problems is to ignore fashion and trends adopted by the dreamless in their HR (human remains) departments, even if the statistics and algorithms support their claims. The fact is outsourcing can sometimes be a good idea and profitable, but often it’s a false economy. Which would you choose? You have a choice to pay me $50 for an hour’s work or pay someone $50 in a developing country for 2 hours work when you need 1,000-word blog writing? I’m on 600 words after 20 minutes today and I haven’t batted an eyelid yet. I don’t need to research much. OK, I did have a moment when I had word recall problems and searched for algorithm! I think someone in Bangalore may have to search for information on the poor woman in Florida, research the Council of Europe’s paper on capital punishment, then have a 10-year history of checking Wall street stocks, be a Farmviller, be familiar to and subject to the British Official Secret’s Act and have a clone in the basement of my local hospital! They can’t do, it can they? I am indispensible! I can recommend it, whatever you do for a living; make yourself indispensible – even if you work for a dreamless one…

    It is tragic when a child dies, more so when it’s preventable. It is not just tragic when a million children die needlessly; it is an outrage of human rights. To breach the right to life of a depressed young woman won’t bring any of them back.

    I’m depressed now.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 30, 2010

       This was HEAVY. The cliche’d response lots of we Americans would say is “Tell me how you really feel.”

       I do admire your talent of introducing a variety of important and interesting — but diverse — topics, and then you bring them all together; that seems to be the mark of most great comics.
       🙂
       Showed a few more people your posts today, and if they aren’t dreamless, they’ll become regular readers.
       🙂
       PS If you had an extra $20K lying around and you could buy stocks and/or bonds, would you?

       Reply
46. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 30, 2010

    Saturday, 30 October 2010, Sierra Oscar, I’m back.

    Writing

    If you missed yesterday’s masterpiece, that is worth reading. It is an example of using rhetorical and psychological devices to put some power in to your writing.

    Social networking

    Playing Farmville is a simulation and I look at what my competitors are doing and come up with different strategies. I also look at what my other investors are doing when I trade stocks virtually. Some of those virtual investors are so good they have found jobs as fund managers. This is a quote from the website:
    
    Our leadership assures that analysts first prove their investment skills and insights by establishing long-term track records managing their own or model portfolios.
    
    These fund managers are compared to Warren Buffett. Shari asked if I would invest a spare $20K in stocks. It is risky now; we are still coming out of a recession. Large companies (large caps) have weathered the recession quite well, but small ones haven’t done so well. I invest virtually, in what I know about and that means technology and technical stocks, and so my technical fund has done the best. I have other funds, the extreme risk fund was supposed to do badly and it has! I wanted to do a fund to invest in very risky things like communications in Moscow to see if it would be profitable; the recession showed it’s a bad idea. The large caps are safer, but the small caps can bring a bigger return if you do your research.

    I don’t usually mention the names of companies, you can make money and you can also lose a lot. I looked at CEVA Inc this morning; they have been doing quite well and are a tech stock in California specialising in computer communications. Their stock price has doubled from around $9 to $18 this year — that’s good. Now let’s think laterally and look at the quote on the LSE; they are also quoted on the LSE as well as the NASDAQ (in New York). The LSE is the London Stock Exchange on this side of the pond. They posted their third quarter results this month and you can see the effect on the chart and how well they have done since December 31st 2008 at the height of the recession. Pay attention! What happens on December 31st? The year end, well done dreamless ones… What else? There is a holiday! Check out what happens to the stock price the day after the dreamless traders return to their desks after that holiday! This is a once in a lifetime bit of information not to be repeated unless someone pays me obscene amounts of money!

    http://www.londonstockexchange.com/exchange/prices-and-markets/stocks/summary/company-summary-chart.html?fourWayKey=US1572101053USGBXSSQ3

    I hope that link works. 🙂 You may like to comment on today’s blog and maybe I’ll hint at other opportunities to make money, it doesn’t interest me of course… 🙂

    You may now have realised that social networking isn’t just LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter.

    To sleep, perchance to dream.

    I’m having a recurring dream! I walk down this corridor and there is a door at the end going outside and at the end a door leading of left into a classroom. It appears to be a school and I think I even ended up teaching in that classroom. What does it mean? It is spooky…

    Now for a puzzle…

    I had a friend request on Facebook yesterday and I recognised the name; he is only 7 years old. His uncle is a connection on LinkedIn; should I accept? The uncle is my older sister’s grandson; how is my new friend related to me? I know, you can’t make this stuff up…

    I added a member of the aristocracy to Twitter, well I clicked follow. She has an interesting website and I helped her last year when she was trying to win a modelling contest. All my aristocratic friends are young, female and models; that is a spooky coincidence…

    I helped my friends in China this week, they both have the same assignment about commodity prices and the project is set by Wolverhampton University – which is about 8 miles from here; their university is 8,000 miles from here – but we have a business school there. One of my friends has chosen to look at the price of crude oil and the other the price of tea. I found a great video on Youtube about oil. It is over 80 Mb and so I can’t attach it to an email and 2 attempts to end it through Windows live failed. I looked at uploading it to Windows live Skydrive. There is a 50 Mb limit, I did upload some of the videos I made and gave a couple of friends permission to access them. I can upload 25 Gb of video, pictures and other files so I’ll try to share more. I must link Windows Live and WordPress too. I can use Live writer to blog then. I have to keep up in this technological race.

    I just checked on my worst stock in virtual trading. It paid a dividend of 8 cents in 2005; now the shares are worth 1 cent each. It could be a good investment. You can buy a lot at 1 cent each!

    Finally, what have the virtual traders been tipping in 2007, 2008 and 2009 – all through the recession? GOLD of course…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 30, 2010

       so . . . whenever possible, I’m going to publish your newest comment in this post: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/10/hint-mike-eccentric-british-blogger/

       This is one of those instances when More is More.
       🙂
       i.e. more exposure, more opportunity to reel in the riches & fame

       BTW, if I don’t have time to check out the links, should I cash out on Dec 31? or wait until Jan 2?

       Reply
47. 

    Mike Maynard

    October 31, 2010

    Sunday, 31 October 2010 Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    How to write a blog…

    Start with a title:

    Halloween and international Dreamless Day.

    Next, do a list of things to write about:
    
    Shari Weiss
    Halloween
    The dreamless ones
    Witches
    Doctor Hawley Harley Crippen (famous murderer)
    Poison (as used by Dr Crippen)
    The battle of Hastings,
    Princess Ethelfleda
    The letter from my doctor
    Anything spooky
    The Vikings
    William the Conquerer.
    Viscount Maynard
    The clueless ones
    Saving daylight
    Social networking

    That’s enough, 16 things to write about should be enough.

    We of course celebrate the beginning of darker nights and Halloween when all things spooky happen and we tell small children dressed in masks and saying trick or treat to “sod off!” 🙂

    It is also International Dreamless Day when to remind us that the world is full of the stupidly dreamless, we all alter our clocks and put them back 1 hour to try in vain to save daylight; this has been done many years and never works but the dreamless ones persist. It is done earlier in some dreamless countries and in China and the Philippines it isn’t done at all because they think it is dreamless…

    Shari Weiss like me had two parents, four grand parents, eight great grand parents and sixteen great great grand parents. I know, I hear a clueless one thousands of miles away saying, “I come from a one-parent family,” tough…

    We now go back over 1,000 years, and we keep doubling the number of ancestors we have with each generation; so we have thousands to choose from if we go back 1,000 years and most lived in England or Europe. Viscount Maynard is sharpening his sword ready to take to the battlefield with his brother, who spookily enough was my ancestor. They are going to support William the Conqueror and invade England. Meanwhile, Princess Ethelfleda, the teenage princess is in the north of England killing Vikings… (You can’t make this stuff up). They have only just got rid of the Vikings when William the Conqueror launches his invasion and King Harold takes his knights to Hastings (1066) and tries in vain to fight off the invasion. He gets hit by an arrow in the eye. The moral of this tale is to keep up with the times.

    Technology advances and you have to keep up, yesterday it was the long bow and arrow – today it’s social networking and trading stocks and shares virtually. Anyway, Viscount Maynard and his brother take to the battle field leading a modern army of peasants, dreamless ones and clueless ones that they have trained to become archers and invade England and the viscount’s brother settles in England. He has children and the rest is my family history.

    Meanwhile…

    In a small village somewhere in England, a woman; one of Shari’s ancestors is giving birth and shouting for her sister who’s taking her time getting there. Her sister, is returning from her meeting with her “tribe” and has been doing a little social networking. They didn’t have computers in those days and would meet in person and exchange information on botanical herbs and drugs. They called these groups covens and they were witches because they understood this mystical use of botanical drugs. One such drug was hyoscine, which is still used today as an anti- spasmodic. The witch was a bit slow getting to her sister, but the labour pains were getting bad and so the hyoscine was most welcome. The reason the witch was slow was she had trouble with her bones and was hunched up because of back problems. This was common and any older women who suffered like this risked getting burnt at the stake or even making their heads chopped off. There are people who would like this brought back today… The dreamless ones… T

    he witch, who you may recall was Shari’s ancestor’s sister lived in England and even though they shared many secrets in the coven, they could not save daylight. The dreamless ones tried even in those days, they were always messing with their sundials. Anyway, the labour pains were much better after the witch had administered hyoscine, a very small dose. Hyoscine as you may know was the poison used by Doctor Hawley Harley Crippen (famous murderer) to poison his ‘wife,’ Cora Henrietta Crippen and the dreamless ones hung him for it on the 23rd of November 1910. He was of course innocent, in 2007 nearly 100 years later DNA testing of the body found it wasn’t his wife Cora; she was probably lying on a beach somewhere listening to rap music and getting a tattoo.

    Meanwhile…

    Shari’s ancestor was having her baby in much less pain thanks to hyoscine, not too much it’s a deadly poison… Her sister rests her weary bones but helps with the delivery when the time comes. Now why are her bones so bad? Unlike Shari who lives in sunny California; the witch, who risks a hot stake or a cold chop to carry on her craft, suffers from vitamin D deficiency. This is caused by a lack of sunshine and is getting worse as the days get shorter and the dreamless experiments to save daylight continue to fail. Vitamin D is essential for the absorption of calcium; a deficiency leads to weak bones and fractures. I had a letter from my doctor only this week advising me to take vitamin D and calcium now the days are getting shorter; I’ll add that to my prescription tomorrow.

    920 words and I have done all the keywords on my list; outsource that to some country where they don’t celebrate Halloween and international Dreamless Day. We are of course celebrating because the Viscount’s brother wasn’t killed at the Battle of Hastings; as one of my ancestors it’s just as well or I wouldn’t be writing this. Shari’s ancestor didn’t die in child — although she would have preferred a hot stake to a cold chop! 🙂 She continued her social networking meeting her coven in a cave every week and exchanging social networking skills and dreamless one avoidance skills with her contacts. They also came up with useful hyoscine recipes that could be used to poison any dreamless ones who became a bloody nuisance. Witchcraft of course is derived from Wicca, there was a revival of Wicca in the 1950’s and 1960’s that continues today. These wicca fans have nothing to do with the witchcraft of a 1,000 years ago and is practiced by dreamless ones. They wouldn’t know if I dropped a few of my hyoscine tablets in their tea and poisoned the whole lot of them. I’ll take a couple of those with my lunch, I tend to get cramp pains after lunch.

    I have gone over 1,000 words, ran out of keywords and my mind has gone blank… spooky…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       October 31, 2010

       You get a Halloween post for your Halloween post
       🙂

       Reply
48. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 1, 2010

    Monday, 01 November 2010 – Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    All Saints Day

    It was Halloween yesterday and so it’s All Saint’s day today and All Soul’s day tomorrow. If you’re Catholic you should go to church on All Saint’s Day and say the Litany of the Saints, which is a prayer if you’re not Catholic and a long one. If you’re in the USA and a Catholic, don’t bother going to church – no one else is going because All Saint’s Day falls on a Monday this year. If you’re a good Catholic you will know that when it falls on a Saturday or Monday there is no need to go to church, just say your litany at home. I cleared that up well.

    I mentioned yesterday that witches shared secrets with other witches at a meeting of the coven; they also passed their secrets down to younger witches in their families. This was a sort of Wiccan nepotism. This explains why Shari edited out the bit yesterday about her ancestor being a witch; keep the secrets! 🙂 I did wonder why when I mention there are frogs on this side of the pond she asks if I can get eye of toad. 🙂

    I’m not well today, so don’t expect many funnies. I have had a cough for a couple of weeks. I was chatting to my friend in China, she was talking, I was typing – she can’t understand a word I say. I thought my microphone was off, but it was on slightly and I coughed. It is seriously weird when you cough and someone 8,000 miles away asks if you’re all right. I have chest pains now; it could be the cough or it could be the cold and damp in my poor muscles. It’s not the coughing that carries you off; it’s the coffin they carry you off in! 🙂

    I just had a card come through the door asking me to vote in the local elections. He has no chance of getting my vote. I think he was in my class at school; his dad owned the butcher shop and overcharged for the meat. People have long memories; he’ll never win.

    People fear the unknown, which is why I get nervous before I go to the hospital. There are unknown roads and drivers on the way there and unknown blood test results when I get there. Then there are nurses asking for urine samples to worry about. That skeleton hanging in that room where the scales are doesn’t look too healthy either. He or she is definitely anorexic. Where was I? Oh, yes, people are afraid of the unknown and so just before an important national election they fear the worst and sell equities. Knowing this can be useful because before an election, it is a good idea to monitor stock market prices and see if there is anything going to cheap and of course if you’re going to sell some stock, it may be worth waiting until the election is over and people breathe a sigh of relief when things aren’t quite as bad as they feared and buy stock. I did an assignment last night for my Chinese friend and wrote about supply and demand affecting prices; that was crude oil’ but the same principle applies to equities.

    I saw Squirrely Nut this morning. Her baby is quite independent. I’ll have to think of a name for Squirrely Nut junior. They were both running around in the street outside.

    I walked out to my brother’s car with him one day and noticed my neighbours’ television about 100 feet away in their living room. It was a huge screen one’ and I could read what was on the screen. I thought, “Are they blind or something?” and missed the reason for a huge screen completely. I saw one today advertised and on the huge screen was the weather forecast and a whole load of information. just like a giant notice board on the wall. I want one…

    My friend is basking in the glory of being a published writer and getting interviewed by the press. I have to update his website this afternoon — assuming this cough doesn’t carry me off first…

    I saw a friend from my teenage years when I walked my brother to his car on Saturday; he ignored me. He can read about me in the newspaper when my novel is published. He can tell his wife, I look at her and I’m quietly pleased I never married.

    The sweets I get from the Victorian sweet shop have a herb in that is very good if you have a cough; I have ran out and I forgot to go and get more yesterday. That is sod’s law, eat cough sweets when you haven’t got a cough and you run out and your cough gets worse. I was going to the ATM as well; I got carried away reading the book I am meant to review.

    It would be lunch time if we hadn’t have turned the clocks back an hour. I would have finished this blog and my cough would be better or worse or something… I had a letter last week about pre-paid funerals, I threw it away. You know what they say act in haste; repent at leisure or something like that. I’m past caring, where are my hyoscine pills? 🙂

    I think I’ll write my epitaph: Did I mention I have a cough? 🙂

    I’ll take paracetamol when I have finished this; it’s an analgesic (I need one), anti-febrile (I may need one) and anti-inflammatory (I may need one of those’ too). I think the trade name for paracetamol in the USA is Tylenol; we use generic names – it’s cheaper. I’ll phone my prescription in later. It will be stuff like hyoscine butylbromide, risedronate sodium, paracetamol and esomeprazole. You need a doctorate in pharmacology to get sick here.

    I just got an email, I’ll quote from it:
    
    “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

    I was just thinking that. My last day and I’m going to update a website and read a novel. I should have accepted that invitation to go to Hawaii; I bet they don’t cough much there.
    Inspiration comes from the most unexpected sources and so never reject anything out of hand – even a spammy email. It took me to over a 1,000 words. 🙂

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 1, 2010

       I’m speechless, Mike. You are amazing. I’m certain that you remember and draw from many past lives; how else could you be such a genius? One suggestion, though. You might try this Isagenix stuff. I’ve only been taking it a month now, but “they” say that the nutritional composition keeps you from getting sick . . . and coughing. We’ll see. It is flu season coming upon us with Daylight Savings Time. I did get my flu shot, so that usually has kept me to just one flu bout a year.

       Riding my bike to yoga is not nearly as exciting as your stories, but gotta go and do it anyway.
       Later . . . . . . .
       🙂

       Reply
49. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 2, 2010

    Tuesday, 02 November 2010 Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    Be afraid, be very afraid…

    Halloween has come and gone and yet things get spookier. Yesterday, Shari said I was a genius and today I make an amazing, earth-shattering discovery. If I can explain this to the world I could win the Nobel Prize. I’ll make a start — I’ll try to explain my discovery to you, both of you…

    We will begin with my recent thoughts on the dreamless, this stuff is scary, be warned. If you are a regular reader, you will know there are predators and prey. Predators can sleep deeply and go into REM sleep (rapid eye movement) when their minds work quickly and they dream. We are the dreamers and I’m not the only one… Then there are people who in a more primitive era were the prey; these are genetically linked to the Neanderthals. It was quite simple, or so I thought. It is really more complex than I thought and far more scary. Be afraid; be very afraid – the dreamless ones are not to be trusted… The dreamless ones are stupid…

    I was reading long articles by a woman who writes about a mathematician and about science. She cannot be dreamless can she? It is impossible? I analysed her writing; there were lots of long words and some of them I had never read before. I looked them up and some didn’t even exist – spooky. I analysed sentences and made an interesting discovery – they were dreamless! They made no sense! I know; it’s hard to believe but true! I read a few articles on finance and they are dreamless and the writer is a millionaire. I know, dreamless millionaires; what next? It gets worse. I was reading fiction and I was suspicious: was this author a dreamless one? How do they do it? I thought perhaps I was getting obsessed, just because her initials were HR doesn’t mean she is a dreamless one… I looked at her online profile… just because she has worked for years in HR and her initials are HR doesn’t mean she is a dreamless one… This doesn’t bear thinking about and so yesterday I made a decision. I was not going to think about the dreamless ones any more, cast them from my mind. I wrote my blog as usual, read it; I didn’t use the word dreamless once!

    I finished my blog, you may remember I had a cough. Did I mention I had a cough? It seems better, but my back hurts. I’m still coughing a little. I checked out a website that Shari told me about — and some cleansing things. I searched the site for the ingredients of this cleansing things, I couldn’t find the page. My mind started to wander, is this site run by dreamless ones? The dreamless ones were everywhere. I updated my friend’s website and tried not to read anything in case it was written by these freaky dreamless ones… This was getting way too spooky.

    My Chinese student friends came online and needed help with their homework. The smart one I helped with her grammar and kept switching between the two of them and then my friend in California came online and was chatting to me as well. The smart student was no problem really. I just helped with her grammar and research then she did send me the next assignment – now it gets spooky! I read a little of the next question – this looked difficult. I was sent the assignment of the not-quite-so-smart student. It was midnight in China and so she left me to edit it and went to bed; the smart student stayed up another hour-and-a-half working on her assignment herself. I worked on the other one for over 2 hours. I now get disturbed… Does this assignment make no sense because of her poor English or is she a dreamless one in disguise? I had to guess and rewrite it and email it back.

    I took pills for my cold, cough and chest pains and went to bed. To sleep, perchance to dream…
    It was too early to sleep and so after my shower, which made me feel much better, it was that or catch pneumonia. I decided to read the question for the next Chinese assignment. It was on leadership and management, no worries; I know about that! Why was it spooky? My friends have to get an A, B, C or a D to pass. I read about getting a D; you would have to be really dreamless to fail this… Spooky… It gets spookier; the question was set by a professor here in England at my local university. Who is this guy? I search the internet. I find a paper written by him and his Emeritus professor – jackpot; all the information we need and we can quote this for the bibliography. No worries, we’re cooking now. I read several thousands of words. It is spooky. There are long words, there are acronyms and many of these have no explanation. It appears to be dreamless… I’m losing it, I’m imagining things.

    I then get to the part where I realise they have written a paper about the research others have done and I think I understand one of the acronyms – HRD; could this be the Human Remains Department? I know some of these people! They are dreamless ones! The dreamless ones are writing about leadership and management and re-organising things!

    I tried to sleep, I couldn’t; part of me was on Greenwich Mean Time and part of me was still on dreamless time. I finally went to sleep in the early hours of this morning, dreams; I had bloody nightmares. The dreamless ones are taking over! Arggh!

    I woke up early, I was on dreamless time and so was my cell phone. It rang to wake me up and hour early. I was too tired, I lay there thinking… What did it all mean? How did dreamless ones become professors at my local university? How do they write and use such long words? How do they remember all those acronyms? How do they get in to politics? How do they take over whole HR departments? How did the dreamless one become a millionaire? Is it possible for dreamless people to achieve all these things? How do they do it?

    I had my revelation… It was terrifying. Those two professors, the people in HR, the writer, the finance writer they all had things in common. The use of the acronym HR to start with, long words that made no sense, the overuse of acronyms, the dreamless avoidance of ever answering questions. There was only one explanation for this phenomenon. There is a breed of dreamless ones that have photographic memories. They can remember long words, even write them and read them; they have minds full of acronyms and they are taking over. Help!

    I’m going to lie down…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 3, 2010

       Today’s post reminds me of “the lady doth protest too much” — I felt like I was inside of a dreamless one’s nightmare, kind of a combination maze and amusement park horror ride. So . . . the dreamless ones need their own blog. [I wonder what she meant by that].

       BTW, since I’m depending on you for so many answers, what do I do about the insurance company that isn’t going to give me a check to cover the full extent of damages? http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/10/deal-stubborn-insurance-company/

       Here’s my plan: tomorrow I’m going to call the California Dept of Insurance, and then I’m going to write long letters to all the company executives about the “misinformation” given me and the “satisfactory service” NOT given me.

       One good rant deserves another.
       🙂
       I hope you’re feeling better!!!

       Reply
50. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 3, 2010

    Wednesday, 03 November 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me.

    Farmville.

    I’m still winning at Farmville. My friend’s internet went down and she had all her crops wither; she was helping with a co-op. No worries, I shall finish that later. Most of the grapes needed to finish it are on over 90%, so I will finish soon.

    Music

    I’m listening to music while I write for inspiration. I listen to music on my laptop or sometimes Youtube. This is good!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlQ-T8w01oA&feature=related

    It is one of my favourite pieces of music.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF8QWsirrhE&NR=1

    There used to be a car park at the back of the local park and the dreamless ones closed it. I have to park in a side street now at the front.

    It was a sunny day and I parked my car. Opening the back door, I took my camera out of the case and put the strap around my neck. I thought I could take a picture of the gatehouse, trees and maybe the squirrels. The sun was shining and the trees cast shadows as I walked into the park and I could see the Victorian bandstand; but I already had photographs of that. The path is lined with park benches, which is handy because I like to sit down and steady the camera. I get tired walking around these parks too. I approached the bandstand and then I saw her — she was a vision of beauty and sitting on a park bench. She had long flowing hair and was perfectly groomed. Her tight white shirt looked like it was freshly ironed. She looked so cool dressed all in white, like a virtual angel. Her skirt was rather short, revealing long slender legs that seemed to go all the way up to her armpits. She looked at me and smiled. I thought, I wonder if she would pose for a photograph. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and it seemed mutual as she just stared at me with those hypnotic blue eyes………
    Editor’s note: you will need to read Mike’s personal blog for what was taken out for the comfort of some of editor’s readers
    Don’t you hate that! 🙂 You’re having a great dream and you suddenly wake up! It could be worse; I could be a dreamless one… 🙂

    I think I shall do some Internet shopping later. I want a yellow thing, with a built in battery, air compressor and light just in case my car gets a flat battery; or a flat tyre for that matter. I am going to consider a solar panel too, to charge the battery. That could be awkward to fit, the cigar lighter is only connected when the ignition is on and I want to plug it in there. It would stop the battery going flat. I’ll ask them to alter the wiring on the cigar lighter when it goes in the garage; they have to fix the reversing lights anyway. I am considering a graphics tablet; I have no idea what programs they work with; but I could draw on my computer screen and sign documents! It would be cool if it works. I could do virtual book signings online when my novel is published! I don’t think anyone has done that before, I am such an innovator. I did some Tweeting on Twitter yesterday and Tweeted the URL of my blog. I don’t know if I’ll post this to my blog or just guest blog it?

    I am thinking of serialising my novel, probably ‘Abduction’ I need to finish it and come up with a new name! I could call it the ‘Stockholm Abduction’ or something. Becky is being held and is shackled to a wall much of the time by a ‘pervert’. She is subjected to psychological abuse and has become more and more desperate and psychologically unstable. He is holding her in Reservoir Street; she doesn’t know that, but his house if right opposite the sex shop. I could call it the ‘Reservoir Street Abduction’. I’ll think of something…

    I’m trying to get my mind off the memory enhanced dreamless ones. They appear to be every where. In politics, in HR departments and there are even doctors that are memory enhanced dreamless ones… I thought this morning, elephants never forget, perhaps the Neanderthals mated with the woolly mammoth? Nah, they weren’t tall enough…

    I could embed the Youtube videos in my own blog! I can switch to HTML. I shall listen to a little Bach and forget the dreamless ones and think about it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipzR9bhei_o

    Someone asked if it was physically possible to play that piece with one organ. I thought maybe it was two people… The reply to that comment was of course, “It would be bloody impossible to play it without an organ.”

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
51. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 4, 2010

    Thursday, 04 November 2010 Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Farmville uncensored

    On this side of the pond we are of course at least 5 hours ahead and so I started early this morning checking out the latest change to Farmville that was done overnight. They are advertising some new movie and you can visit the MegaMind farm! You get a sign and it is really weird. I also got Megagrow and happened to have over 600 plots of grapes I needed to grow! There were no instructions and I had just told my friends I would start a new CO-OP in 12 hours. I started it straight away and the Megagrow got it off to a good start. Megamind is only for one day apparently, I hope I get more Megagrow! 🙂

    Censored!

    I know, I was censored yesterday! I’m a writer, what can I say, we paint vivid pictures with words. I painted too vivid a picture of Keira Knightley taking her clothes off in the park; what can I say, painting pictures with words is what I do. You can read it all in my personal blog (no links to videos, the embedding didn’t work). This may over-excite people of an over-sexed disposition:

    http://wp.me/p194MF-a

    The film wasn’t very good last night and so I Googled myself in bed. I have answered a lot of questions on the Internet over the years. I got a top answer on LinkedIn and appropriate expert status yesterday. My answers on other websites tend to get copied on to all kinds of forums. I have complained before, but the dreamless ones at Yahoo persist. They can be funny though.

    Question: “What can I do? My pet Koi carp has died.”
    My answer: “Buy a tin of salmon to make sandwiches for the funeral.”

    One of my answers went on to a sex advice forum for teenagers. I’ll censor that one personally and the same applies to the comment made by Seaman Staines of Her Majesties’ Royal Navy.

    My family didn’t believe I would write a novel and when I had written it, some of them didn’t believe I would get it published. I had other ideas. If you don’t read the question, you have no chance of finding the answer. If you don’t dream, you have no chance of making your dreams come true. If you don’t at least try to create a phenomenon; you will never get even close to doing so. I know the odds are against me making my imaginary parrot internationally famous; it’s as ridiculous as making an imaginary teenage wizard famous. Hogwarts’ school was my idea, check; it looks just like the English grammar school I went to! I remember riding my bike from school to the railway station and I carried my bike over the bridge. That was weird in those days; a train would engulf you in smoke as it passed under the bridge. They were of course steam trains. That day I went to see the Queen’s own private train — the Royal train. She came here and I saw her; not many people can say that. My brother later married the granddaughter of the then mayor and she was the one who gave the Queen a bouquet of flowers. I have photographs somewhere. I have stamps in my stamp collection given to the mayor by visiting dignitaries. Anyway all those ideas about steam trains to Hogwarts started here.

    I have a video on Facebook about my novel and my imaginary parrot; it’s in High Definition (HD) and has great music. I am thinking when my current novel is finished I may serialise it in my blog! It is all part of a cunning plan to create a phenomenon! 🙂

    I have to do some intriguing blogs and funny ones too and then one line funnies that can be tweeted to the masses. The short URL is provided by WordPress, but I can also do short URL’s using a Twitter client, Tweetings for Chrome. I just checked a Tweet and it went to this URL; this is cool, I will join!

    http://page99test.com/

    Writer’s can put page 99 of their novel on there and people will read it. If I include that site in my phenomenal plans it will do even better and lots of people will read page 99 of lots of novels.

    You know when you read something funny and you laugh, what do you do then? There is a natural tendency to share. You turn to someone and share the funny with them. This is psychology at work… If there is no one to share with and you are tech savvy, what do you do? You Tweet that funny line! I shall start a collection of Tweetable funnies; they will of course have short url links to my blog or website. I was having a new website, I don’t really need one, I’ll see if I have time in the New Year to do one. People will receive my funny Tweets and how will they react? They will share and re-Tweet them; this my dreamless ones with genetically enhanced memories is cascading 21st century style. They don’t think like this in Human Remains.

    Enough phenomena for today…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 5, 2010

       Megamind?
       Megagrow?

       You need to start a blog or website and call it Page 99
       🙂

       When I google Mike Maynard, I get DRIVING MISS SHARI first . . . but that’s my computer — and my cookies. I learned that SEO experts get lots of applause when they get their clients sites on top of page 1 of Google . . . daaaah, it’s their computer and their cookies. On another computer, they wouldn’t see the same results.

       BTW, my preferred use of phenomena is to “have” and “think” and “smile” about a Phenomenal day. 🙂

       Reply
52. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 5, 2010

    Friday, 05 November 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Remember, Remember the 5th of November…

    More tips on how to write a blog:

    Start with keywords. I only know that I will mention Bonfire night; hence the title and so I need more keywords:

    Guy Fawkes, Bonfire night, Parliament, fireworks, Farmville, Zynga, dreamless, Florida, popups, Neodigital Art, free software, my package, new graphics tablet, American companies, double glazing, objectivity, social networking, Facebook, Fotosketcher, Google, search, nurses, Honda motorcycles.

    I have my keywords and some may seem to be disconnected, no worries; I can link them.

    Remember, Remember the 5th of November.

    You should remember this date because we light traditional bonfires and set off fireworks to celebrate the brave effort made by Guy Fawkes to blow up Parliament when it was full of dreamless ones… Nice try mate… Some people celebrate because they failed: they are the dreamless ones. I’m not going to a bonfire; they are mostly organised ones now because the dreamless ones hurt themselves with the fireworks or pour petrol on the bonfire to get it started and soak themselves or their shoes in petrol with dreamless results.

    Farmville

    I was in a hurry to harvest, plant and stuff this morning. The dreamless ones, whom I am now sure are genetically memory-enhanced, work at Zynga and make Farmville deliberately frustrating. MegaMind came and went; it was Mega-dreamless. I was getting a dreamless popup several times a second. Would I like to make wine, share the dog sh** I just found with my friends? I was glad I didn’t have children; I would have booted one out the window if they had even snivelled. I sympathise with the poor woman in Florida who shook her baby and blame the memory enhanced dreamless ones at Zynga. I’m still winning and have started a new CO-OP; I have a feeling I could get very apathetic after I reach level 100.

    Yesterday… (All my troubles seemed so far away…)

    My package arrived it was about 30 inches by 30 inches. I thought, “What have they sent me?” It had the yellow thingy inside that deals with flat batteries and pumps up tyres. It is heavy and was quite cheap really. I have it charging slowly. It will jumpstart my car in an emergency, and I can stop worrying about the battery and the compressor. The light is really powerful. I didn’t have the solar panel; the price doubled as it came off special offer –- it was on special offer for years and then I order; they take it off – that is sod’s law.

    The graphics tablet is still being assessed. I may do a review of this stuff; the company wants reviews. I did a review on my microwave last year; it looked really good. Then it started cutting out after I had done my review, which was because I didn’t put enough stuff in it at a time. I put more in it and it was OK. I have owned it about 15 months and the paint is peeling inside and it’s rusting. It is badly made; I may take photographs and post them on the internet complete with details to warn other people. The paint should not peel like that! It’s a DAEWOO in black…

    I was trying to get rid of all that packaging, which won’t fit in the recycling bin when the nurses came. There used to be one nurse who did the whole town on a Honda 50cc motorcycle; now they have a posh car and go around in pairs and there are teams of them. They have to have your patient pack, which was a waste of money; most of it isn’t used. They have to check the date on the injections — that is barely readable. Each nurse has a student nurse to help. She was a babe, but don’t tell her I said so… The student nurse has a GSCE (certificate) in graphics she got at school; I told her what the graphics tablet was. The older nurse was clueless about that. The older nurse did the injection and asked if I wanted to sit down. Nah, just stick it in! 🙂 I forget how tall I am and how short they are, but she managed. Injections aren’t what they used to be, the needles are quite sharp. They used to blunt them on the bottom of the phial and it could be quite painful having a blunt needle pushed through your muscle. That is why many people have an irrational fear of hypodermic needles. There is no way I can work that joke in about needing to know the right buttons to push to make a nurse come…

    I finished trying to recycle the cardboard and packaging and put my towels and things in the washing machine. Then on to the graphics tablet and tried the ‘quick’ install. It would have been quicker to launch a mission to Mars. The software was complicated, a variation on Adobe Paint shop, I think… I was interrupted thankfully by an email and clicked a link and found an article on something really interesting. I can’t remember what it was but I clicked ‘downloads’ on the CNET site and one featured one was Fotosketcher and it’s free! It is a cool program and will help me make my exclusive school of Neodigital Art even better. I was uploading my newly created masterpieces to Facebook in no time.

    If you’re into social networking you have to keep people interested. My friend wants a book cover. I could do something with this program. It is a religious comedy and so maybe a church with some text? My illustrator friend will be very interested in a free art program. I’ll let them all wonder for a while how I did such amazing pictures. Facebook isn’t the only social networking site of course. I could put these on MyYearbook, My Modern Metropolis (Ning) and other sites.

    My user name is usually Mike10613, I have used that for 10 years and I Googled it the other night and got 7,000 returns – it was the cookie. I need to remember to delete cookies before checking out the SEO of websites. Just deleting them from my browser doesn’t appear to work, I use Ccleaner and that works. I dislike Google nearly as much as Yahoo.

    One of my friends on Facebook was introduced through someone else; I forget who. [Iintroduced by a friend because she plays Farmville?] My question this morning is how did these two people end up on my list of contacts for Skype? That is an invasion of privacy. It is also illegal in the UK. It contravenes our Data Protection Act; Google did that and got off with it. It is stupid; they should have been fined – they should know better and the government is pandering to them so they will invest in the ‘silicon valley’ of Britain! This is a dreamless idea…

    We need to be passionate about some things and objective about others. We need to stand back and look at things objectively or get someone else to give us an objective view. There was this double glazing advert on TV, it was so irritating. It was the typical American style advert where they shout to get your attention. It was like those horrible adverts the Americans use to try to sell cars, subtle; it was not. American companies should pay for my opinion and I can teach them when to be subtle, devious, funny and when it appropriate to respect the privacy of others and the laws of other countries. I can teach them objectivity and give an across the pond objective view; they should be queuing up for that! 🙂

    The keywords worked, I even did an extra 200 words today – but ran over time.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 5, 2010

       Do you live at the hospital?

       Reply
53. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 6, 2010

    Saturday, 06 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    Chinese

    I cooked my Chinese meal last night at last; it was OK and made a nice change. I’ll use more soy sauce next time and maybe lightly fry the rice. The recipe says it tastes better boiled and left for 24 hours, then fried in a tiny bit of oil.

    I have been sharing photographs with one of my student friends this morning. I like Chinese art, and my photograph of the town I live in I made look like a sketch with Fotosketcher. My friend thought it looked Chinese. You can get Fotosketcher free from CNET as a download.

    It is the third quarter of the Chinese astrological year, and that started today. In fact it is now nearly 7pm in China and so it started about 19 hours ago. This is a new phase for Shari as she deals with problems left over from the last phase, like sorting out her car insurance. It is mainly a time for family and preparing for Christmas and I think she may set some goals for the New Year. This phase runs until the 3rd of February 2011 when things will improve dramatically.

    I am going into a sort of passive phase — when not much happens. I don’t plan much to happen! I will set goals for next year however. I may enter a short story competition this month. I will check to see if I have large envelopes for the manuscript. It has to be posted and that will put some people off. It is for a BBC radio story and I really like my stories read out. I have to think of a way of recording it if it does get aired. I have started with a ‘hook’ a sort of storyline and sent it to my friend Jane; she replied and said the storyline is a good idea. I won’t tell you the story, but basically it is set in England where this guy gets a frosty reception in his bank until they look at his cheque and see it is for over $20 million! I can make this funny! 🙂

    I don’t live at the hospital; we have National Insurance in England and even people who haven’t paid into it still get free health care. There are trusts now with members. The primary care trust runs a lot of services. General practitioners are the front line doctors, and we have a team of district nurses who go out to people in their own homes. They came to me this week and gave me an injection. It was a nice sharp hypodermlic needle and didn’t hurt a bit. I was looking at the hot babe in the nurses’ uniform and didn’t really notice anyway. I know the right buttons to push to make a nurse come… 🙂

    The hospital is run by a separate trust, and I think that may have merged with the primary care trust now. Am a member of that trust and I had an email from the primary care trust – they are panicking because the government wants to scrap them to save money. They do tend to be a waste of space and don’t do the job.

    The ambulance service and paramedics are run by another trust, which for the sake of efficiency merged with a neighbouring ambulance trust. This is good news for the CEO of this giant organisation – they get more money. The same applies to the mental health trust that merged with yet another neighbouring trust. This is local dreamless behaviour that costs hundreds of millions. To complicate things, when they rushed me to hospital, they had to take me to the nearest one. That nearest one is over the border and in the next Metropolitan area. They treat me and then send the bill to the primary care trust in the metropolitan area where I actually live. Confused? I told you it was dreamless.

    It is even more dreamless in the Metropolitan area that I actually live in that has merged secondary care with the trust that runs hospitals in the city of Birmingham (England not Alabama). They intended to build a billion dollar hospital, before the cuts that was; it has been scaled back now. I’m glad I live closer to the super-hospital over the border in the neighbouring Metropolitan area; they have a smaller Human Remains department and my clone lives in the basement.

    My local day hospital has closed. I was going to complain, but it’s run by the really dreamless mental health trust; they are all nuts as well as dreamless. Anxiety and depression is widespread, though, and I know a lot of the people who used to use the day hospital. The anxiety and depression is of course caused by the dreamless ones, they run everything now… They are genetically memory enhanced too! Spooky and Scary! 🙂

    I had a lot of dreams last night. It must have been the Chinese food. I dreamt I was going to ride a bike through the English countryside and I was in a railway station. The guy I was with was buying a model train set… What else would you buy in a railway station? I tried to buy chocolate, I have no idea why, I never eat the stuff. It was extremely expensive and I ended up with a very small bar. I preferred the dream I had the other day. You can’t beat a good Keira Knightley dream… 🙂

    The sun is shining in England and I nearly went shopping, it’s only 5 degrees C, though; I think my brother may visit in about 90 minutes. We have a shop that sells everything for £1. I keep looking for the prices when I’m in there. 🙂 I bought some coloured pens last time, folders to put paper work in and some stuff to spray on the black handles and tyres of my car to make them look black! I buy vinegar in there too; they are two for £1. It is very weird me getting these thoughts of spending money… I have to think of Christmas presents, I have to buy chocolate, I always forget that for guests because I never eat it. I suppose I should buy alcohol although I won’t drink the stuff — probably not anyway.

    We traditionally have turkey at Christmas; they are a little too big for one person. I shall try to get the thigh off a turkey and cook it in the oven. I could do turkey fried rice; now I’ve mastered Chinese cookery. 🙂 That would make for an unusual Christmas lunch.

    Spooky, the word count went over 1,000 just as my mind went blank…:)

    I’ll be back…🙂

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 6, 2010

       You know what’s spooky? An hour ago, as I was waiting for a conference workshop to begin, the presenter and one of the participants started to talk about Chinese food . . . and how their Jewish friends typically eat Chinese food on Christmas Day. What my family members have done for many years, though, is Go To The Movies.

       Reply
54. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 7, 2010

    Sunday, 07 November 2010 Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Farmville, murder, suicide and other stuff…

    I have a cool title that should cover just about everything… Farmville took an unexpected turn, I got a message from my competitor: they have changed Farmville again and she isn’t happy about it. I think they have stopped us buying goods from each other, which could complicate things. I was playing but was still half asleep. I was also talking to my Chinese student friend. I was also trying to drink my tea and eat a boiled egg…

    My friend cut my lead to around 10,000 from 40,000. How did she do that? She was about to give me tips! I thought it was strange she was growing things she couldn’t make wine with. There was method in the madness; she was growing them to participate in co-ops started by her friends. She told me to join one even though I can’t contribute to it. People like to give you support sometimes when you’re successful, even when it’s not in their best interest. I have helped her a lot, though, and she uses many of my strategies, I suspect she feels a little guilty now and wants to go way out in front — but doesn’t want to take my lead before I reach level 100! We’re such nice people that play Farmville, competitive; but nice…

    The other day I wrote about the young woman who shook her baby when it cried as she played Farmville. Of course they wanted her hung, drawn and quartered for killing a child. That is a cultural thing; we aren’t quite so blood thirsty and a lot more sophisticated in Britain, but we have our dreamless; bring back Margaret Thatcher and hanging brigade. They should all be shot.

    I am with the Council of Europe that gave us the European Convention of Human Rights and that in turn led to the UK Human Rights Act 1998. We accepted the convention into British law and then promptly forgot that badly drafted bit of legislation and continued to infringe people’s rights – particularly kids and anyone else weaker than average. This is bad and it’s culturally unacceptable. It leads to more crime and murder as people believe it is morally acceptable to take another person’s life; as long as you have a good enough excuse. Do it in the name of the law, or even ‘love’ if it’s crime of passion.

    I chatted to my Chinese friend while I ate my boiled egg. She is trying to get on with her classmates, but it is hard. One student killed his girlfriend and then committed suicide. One student killed his roommate – who was probably getting on his nerves… This is a culture that believes in severe punishments for the most trivial of crimes and although the teachers warn students to be tolerant, just in case they are the next to get murdered in their beds.

    Without changes in the law and a change of attitude at the highest levels of government, things won’t change. They will continue the body count year after year as students murder each other and commit suicide. They, of course, smoke cigarettes a lot in China and that kills off a lot of the older people; it’s one way to control the population, I suppose. I would have thought restricting people to having one child would be enough, but they have too many baby boomers like most countries. We baby boomers can be a bloody nuisance competing fiercely at Farmville and not giving the young a chance – poor things.

    I wrote 1,000 words of my short story that has a provisional title of Daniel Dawson. I was in a serious mood; it is serious stuff writing for the BBC. I was too serious, I couldn’t think of the funnies. I spend about 20 minutes mis-spelling hypodermic needle yesterday to hypodermlic nerdle and Shari corrected the nerdle back to needle! That’s sod’s law. It’s not easy thinking this stuff up! I told her about a car for sale last night, she has already taken it for a few test drives. It could be a better idea if she went every day and test drove it and didn’t bother to buy it…

    My dreamless friend came yesterday, he was going to a firework display but it seemed expensive. I watched fireworks out of the window last night and took photographs. I was warm and the firework display was free… I can do artistic things with those photographs; they will probably be on Facebook later. I could do a video slideshow…

    I cooked more Chinese food, I’m getting good now and it actually tastes like Chinese food. I added more soy sauce and flied the lice (don’t collect the spelling). My brother has a qualification in art and so had to have a go with my new graphics tablet and photo software. My dreamless friend always says something negative about whatever picture we produce; other people rave how good they are. He told me the day hospital had closed, apparently not; they have just stopped him going there! I may drop in and chat to the lovely receptionist and see if the nurses remember me.

    My doctor moans every time I see him and wants me off an addictive drug. You would think he would be pleased I cut my dose by half in the past month and it won’t be too long before I’m off it. What does he do? He sends me enough to last about 4 months! Dreamless…

    I have problems with the new medication; you don’t want to know the side effects; I’ll research it later. I have researched calcium before about 7 years ago and there is a reason why it makes you thirsty and then makes you pee a lot; I forget the details now.

    The stock I own went up 8% the other day; someone complained that the rich were insider dealing. How naïve can you get? How does he think they get that rich? It wasn’t a bad week. I got my phone and broadband half price for a few months and I saved a few quid a month on gas and electricity. It is amazing the deal they can do for you when you say you are changing to their competitor.

    It’s a shame I didn’t win the lottery that would have rounded the week off nicely…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 7, 2010

       LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the suggestion that I simply test drive the car I love every day. Wow, would that save money!!!
       
       “and flied the lice (don’t collect the spelling)” — OK, I didn’t edit either “spelling” — nor do I touch the British versions of American English words [when I am aware they are typical English spellings]. At the journalism workshop I attended yesterday, the point was emphasized that we ALL benefit when someone else proofreads our stuff.
       🙂
       Of course, the “intent,” i.e. the Sod’s Law thing may not always be self-evident.

       OK, Mike, next quandary, I got a call from someone yesterday that “he” said I should keep confidential, you know [or do you] that “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”
       Anyway, “he” said that we should keep this to ourselves, BUT how do I know that he hadn’t already planned this conversation ahead of time with others, and how do I know “he” is not going to share it with others. I say, We all need to take care of ourselves in situations like this. What do you say?

       BTW, I have always subscribed to the theory that I have as much chance of winning the lottery by not buying a ticket as by buying one. However, someone once told me that perhaps God has different ideas and that just in case He wants me to win, I do need to buy a ticket every once in a while.

       Later . . . my husband just reminded me it is time to go to yoga. And then we may buy a car.

       Reply
55. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 7, 2010

    If you think editing my stuff is hard, try Chinese students! I just spent 90 minutes doing about 500 words. had to guess the meaning of a lot. I wrote a brilliant conclusion and hope that sticks in the memory of the lecturer or professor who reads it! 🙂

    I have a policy with confidentiality. I keep all one to one conversations confidential as I did when I did counselling; unless the subject was trivial and not really confidential, if the conversation compromises me legally or morally, it is not confidential (they are just taking advantage) and finally if it’s not in their interest to keep it confidential then I have to use my own judgement who I confide in. If this conversation bothers you, you can discuss it in confidence with your counsellor or whoever you trust as such.

    I feel like an agony aunt today. I had flied lice again for dinner, it’s amazing how much you get in one of those bags. My Chinese student friend went to bed around 4 am (Chinese time) and was still working. Then sent her essay to me by email to ‘check’; she usually does better – but was obviously too tired. She had researched it all day and should have asked me to help, but they said it should be in her own words and not to reference the internet. I showed her a picture of my stir fry; she was hungry – she missed dinner because of studying. An apple at 3 in the morning seems a poor substitute.

    I must write about why I think I shall win the lottery and it’s not because I’m getting old and look awful… I’m writing a short story about that for the BBC – I can’t think of a funny ending… I shall dream on it…

    Sierra Oscar… I’ll be back in 12 hours or so…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 8, 2010

       Check out Chekhov [“The Lottery Ticket”]

       Reply
56. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 7, 2010

    I forgot, a good reason to keep a conversation confidential is that at a future date you can always deny the conversation ever existed; there are no witnesses… 🙂 The secret of therapy.

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 8, 2010

       I now see why therapists like secrets.

       Reply
57. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 8, 2010

    Monday, 08 November 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Farmville.

    Farmville I was told changed at the weekend, I can’t see any changes. There is a new spirit of cooperation though as a result. I am even in a co-op with my closest rival. She doesn’t appear to sleep and nearly caught up with me over the weekend, but as usual I stayed ahead of the game. I made a mistake this morning; I have made mistakes all weekend. I planted the wrong coloured grapes this morning, I should have planted black grapes and that would have given me a slight advantage with the co-op. I planted white – whoops… 

    I am as usual using MS Word to write this and intend to paste it later, if I can connect; I am having trouble connecting with servers across the pond this morning and the problem appears to be with other servers they are connected to. This happens a lot, especially with servers run by advertisers. I spent a lot of time helping my Chinese friend with her paper. I was still unhappy with it late last night but she was up until 4 am working on it and missed dinner. I have just sent a PDF, a paper written by the university professors here – that may help. My photographs of Chinese stir fry impressed her; she said it looked nice. It was a shame she missed dinner!

    Psychology.

    I wrote about Hilts in the movie The Great Escape in a recent post; he was sent to the ‘cooler’ and passed the time while imprisoned bouncing a ball off the wall. Of course, if you throw a ball at a wall, it does bounce and you get your own back. The same applies to photons, those particles of light that bounce everywhere. They bounce off you and hit the mirror and bounce back and you see a reflection. What do you see though? It varies; you see an image and that is interpreted by your brain and the interpretation depends on mood. The more positive the mood is, the better the image. I had a Monday morning, cold and wet mood this morning and my image matched perfectly. I won’t allow my poor self image and general miserable mood to impact on my writing; it will be as irreverent and as sarcastic as usual.

    Other people are of course a mirror on the soul and I don’t have to have any contact with the dreamless ones this morning. You can change the beliefs of others with a simple comment, such as “I like that, you’re a genius,” I get that a lot; my ego depends on it. A comment like that boosts the ego and then when we look in the mirror; we look much better, our self image is transformed and is far more positive because of you. You are however a mirror on your soul and what you give to others you are likely to receive back; just like those photons bouncing back of the mirror. The image you get, just like the mirror has to be interpreted and the way it is interpreted depends on your mood. If it’s Monday morning and you look like I do this morning and someone says, “You look good this morning.” You tend to think, ‘Sarcastic sod,’ and although it may have been intended as a compliment and positive, it is interpreted by your negatively mood controlled brain as negative and sarcasm. You have to see everyone as mirrors that you will bounce off, both offline and online and so you should always consider carefully what you post online. You should be extra careful on a cold, wet, miserable Monday morning; be careful what you write! You could even Tweet something negative and spend the whole week getting negative Tweets back in return. Tweets like, “How’s the diet going? Lost anything yet, ha ha,” 🙂 This could be interpreted as sarcasm if you’re still a bit moody.

    Oh, yeah, Chekhov’s lottery story, I read that a while ago. I shall win the lottery, when it’s a super draw or a double rollover or something and the jackpot is an amazing £15,000,000 and then it will become the closest guarded secret since Bill Gates bought an Apple Mac. I’m writing a short story about a lottery winner who does that and keeps it a secret; I need a funny ending that should also serve as the climax to the story. I’m having a bigger bed when I win the lottery – I nearly fell out last night. I was restless. I lost my pillows at 7 this morning and had to get out and sort out my bed and retrieve my pillows. I may have a car or have the one I own improved. I could do both, have a new car and then send my current car in for major improvement. I need a new stereo, a paint job, wheel arches, alloy wheels, wide wheels, turbo charger, those brakes they have on rally cars, low profile tyres, a satellite navigation system, a new clutch and I will need the engine race tuned.

    I tried Google street view yesterday, cool! 🙂 I looked at the route from here to the super-hospital where my clone lives in the basement. It is 2.6 miles if you want to go the horrendous way over the humps, through the busiest motorway junction in the UK and risk life and limb. You can go the way I go which is 3 miles, safer and quicker. I looked at Shakies birth place and had a good look around Stratford upon Avon. I can get there in 59 minutes according to Google; I thought if would take me an hour! 🙂 I even found the church and could see the gravestones in the churchyard; I couldn’t read them; that was a shame. I think some of my ancestors are buried there; I’ll look if I ever go there. Google street view is good but weird; I could see the can of air freshener that I left on my hall window sill when I looked at my house. That photograph was taken on a Saturday, last year – my brother’s car was parked outside. I checked out the Manor Hospital, Walsall. It was spooky; it is amazing it was only half built last year and in use this year. My clone lives there, in the basement.

    The word count says just over 1,000; spooky…

    If anyone has a question, post it in the comments. You can ask about anything, Chinese cooking, astrology, rocket science, quantum physics, I’ve been around. 🙂
    I’ll try to answer questions as the week goes on…
    If you want to ask why the guy in Las Vegas has a lump under his left armpit; send a private message…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 8, 2010

       Amazing – as usual!!
       🙂
       I’m going to re-post this on the blog post site where I re-post the comments I especially love: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/10/hint-mike-eccentric-british-blogger/
       I love the details about looking in the mirror. You ought to check it out now 🙂

       Re: Chekhov, some semesters when I get to teach literature, I love to share a great piece on “Why we love Chekhov” and after reading that, I loved him even more! I especially like teaching The Lady with the Pet Dog and the Joyce Carol Oates re-telling. Have you read them? Perhaps you ought to read both of those stories and re-tell your version. I’m imagining the Mike Maynard one would be the Best. Try it.
       🙂

       Reply
58. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 8, 2010

    I have a problem…

    This thread, I can access because it’s short but longer thread won’t load or are taking a very long time. The rich and famous thread and driver de jour threads won’t load. I can’t put my link in!

    Reply
59. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 9, 2010

    Tuesday, 09 November 2010: Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    My friend started a Farmville co-op and it has six members. I couldn’t get anyone to join my co-op; she travels the world visiting her Facebook friends and networks well. Farmville gives them something in common. She is only 20,000 behind me now! But I just went to level 98 and sent her free fuel to celebrate pulling one level ahead again! 🙂

    You can’t win at Farmville, of course; it’s like life, you can get in front, but you can’t win. There is no end game. Life I like that; you can get ahead, but sometimes you have to observe conventional wisdom. If at first you don’t succeed – give up! 🙂 To keep trying isn’t always wise, especially if it’s costing money or involves danger.

    Yesterday, I wrote that other people are mirrors of our souls and we of theirs. When I was very young, an executive assessed my performance based on my qualifications, experience and long list of screw ups. He decided to look at my screw ups rather than my successes; he had a very negative attitude. He could have capitalised on my talents but instead sent me to some God awful place in the most rundown part of the city. It was also a long way for me to travel and work started at 7:30 in the morning. I am not a morning person. Did this help improve my weaknesses, did I learn anything? I learnt how to plot to get the hell out of there! I also became a pain; the whole staff was negative and I was like something from another planet that had just landed! Any work that involved getting out for a day was mine! I did an advanced driving course; that was four days out of that God awful place and was to be my escape route. The thing I really came to hate was the fact it was so cold. I had enough as winter descended and decided to enforce the rule book; that said I could walk if the temperature was below 65F. I walked and I was noisy about it. “That’s it, too cold, I’m off – I’ll be over the road if it warms up,” and an hour later everyone joined me! I started a mass walk out. The boss wasn’t happy and when another team needed an advanced driver, guess who was ready and waiting to take the job! 🙂 I did put a dent in the vehicle on the first day, but the boss never found out. I was networking with the guys in the garage. 🙂

    Being in a negative environment can be really upsetting and depressin, especially if it’s become part of the working culture. You should not automatically avoid negative people. I was due to talk to a group of very negative people last year; they all suffered from depression. One was particularly vocal and very negative; I talked to her after the meeting and that was able to talk about her problems in confidence without it dragging everyone else down. One woman was particularly depressed and lacked eye movement. I thought it would be hard to get through to her. I asked some questions and had a good idea of what the problem was but in group confidentiality is a problem and you can’t pry too much. One of the organisers was talking and giving examples of why someone may not phone you when you’re expecting a call or hoping for a call from a relative or friend. The excuses were the usual things; they may be too busy or have a lot on their mind. A long list of excuses was trotted out and I added “or they could be depressed like you and can’t be bothered…” everyone associated with this comment because it had a ‘ring of truth’ about it and the most depressed one started laughing and it went on for about ten minutes almost hysterically. Touching a raw nerve can upset people or it can be very funny, the latter can lift the spirits. I was quite popular after that! 🙂

    Getting back to my mis-spent youth, I think I was 19 years old when I pulled that stunt and passed my advanced government driving test. I talk to young people now about what I did when I was a teenage,r and they think it is great that I had the opportunities to do stuff that they aren’t trusted with. I was sort of in the right place at the right time and there was a skill shortage and I was of course a whizz kid! I got back to doing what I was good at after a few months. Because I did so much as a teenager I expect more of young people and have more confidence in them. My friend who visited on Saturday is half my age and his parents don’t approve of him associating with me; I’m probably older than them. I am more computer literate and definitely less old fashioned. I got quite a welcome in a shop on Sunday that I hadn’t used since last year. They sell alcohol and I was buying some for my guests at Christmas. I used to be a good customer! The young girl knows I was ill and said how well I look now, and her husband was very friendly and they remembered me from a year ago. I get on well with young people because I don’t judge them and I don’t act ‘old’. One of my Chinese student friends managed to get access to Google street view and thinks where I live is really cool! She actually captured the screen with a program from QQ, that’s a sort of Chinese Google. He was sending pictures back to me from China of the street I live in! She managed to identify my brother’s car that was parked outside but not mine! I also impressed them with photographs of my Chinese chicken flied lice, with peas, sweet corn and carrots.

    In this game called life, I’m ahead at the moment and it’s not great and there are people doing better; but I do quite well and have a few laughs. I just remembered what I was going to write about today; I’ll save it for tomorrow – I hit 1,000 words and my mind was blank when I started today…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 10, 2010

       It’s amazing to think about how young people speak a “foreign language” to those who aren’t “good with young people.” Teaching in the colleges has kept me in tune with the generation that will soon be running things. We’d better speak their language.
       🙂

       Reply
60. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 10, 2010

    Sierra Oscar, I’m back…

    Wednesday, 10 November 2010

    Online and offline Management.

    Do you value your friends and contacts both online and offline as much as you would like them to value you?

    It is important to value friendships — and your online contacts should be treated like they are friends. Then the relationship can develop and maybe they will become friends. You may never meet but even so the relationship can still be mutually very valuable.

    Do you have a general policy for dealing with everyone or do you treat them as individuals?

    People are individuals and should be treated as such. It is acceptable to send a BCC to your friends and contacts and even family; but make sure you send everyone a personal email or contact them in some other way periodically.

    Do you believe certain standards of behaviour in communicating with people are essential?

    It is essential to have rules about your own behaviour when dealing with everyone, be nice!

    Do you freely help others when they are in difficulties or perhaps overworked or lack sufficient knowledge to cope?

    Be helpful! If you help others and give them encouragement; they will usually share something in return. Don’t think what you can get; think about what you can give; what you can contribute.

    Do you share you knowledge and experience or hold back vital information that could be of value to others?

    You have knowledge and expertise and so share it cast some bread on the water and see what fish you can catch. You will gain self esteem and recognition if you share.

    Do you send out positive messages or do you complain about the negatives, the problems that you face every day without looking at the problems others face every day that may be more demanding than yours?

    Other people are a mirror of the soul; if you send out negative thoughts and you will get negative beliefs back, be positive and send out a positive message.

    Do you lead or are you a follower?

    Are you a leader or a sheeple? Lead by example and be a role model or a mentor or a really good friend.

    Do you listen or do you lecture. Do you treat all your contacts and friends equally and fairly?

    It is important not to discriminate in favour of one connection over another, except perhaps one may have greater needs than the other — if they are sick or disabled for example.

    Do you plan ahead and set goals and tasks?

    Planning can obviously help you know your path in life and that should be consistent with the plans of others and certainly not conflict with the plans of your friends. Make goals and set targets and make sure everyone knows what they are; they will help you achieve your goals.

    Do you blame others for you mistakes?

    We all make mistakes but to blame the system or others is counter-productive; accept responsibility and get on with it.

    Do you publicise your beliefs and make it known that you have an open door approach and are always willing to listen?

    You can have great principles but if no one knows, how will they know to respect and trust you. Don’t be loud or arrogant but make your beliefs clear to others, online and offline.

    Do you listen to suggestions and the opinions of others?

    Do you actively seek the opinions and suggestions of others or are you a know-all. Try to ask for advice and it may not always be good advice, but the opinions will be diverse and you should consider all of them.

    Are you flexible changing the way you do things with the changing world around you and changing technology?

    I get sick of learning how new things work and forget how some old things work, even altering the timing on the central heating can seem a chore. The more we accept the challenges of a changing world with its changing environment and changing technology the easier we find it to change and adapt to the changing world.

    Do you show others respect and make them feel appreciated?

    You like to be shown respect and so does everyone else! We all feel down when we feel used and not appreciated but in this busy world it can be difficult to remember to thank those who help us along the long winding path of life; take time to do that, you will find rich rewards.

    Do you abdicate or delegate your role when you should be communicating?

    Some things you have to do yourself and communicating is one of them. You cannot address the world through a puppet. You may be able to delegate certain tasks to others. I often delegate the task of doing the garden to someone else but I don’t ask them to talk to the squirrel I do that myself!

    Conclusion:

    In this technological world we have almost unlimited opportunities to engage other people. We can talk to them in person, on the telephone, through email, through instant messaging, using Voice over IP and all these different ways need a different approach but they all have something in common.

    Whatever medium you use to communicate, be nice, be friendly and put any doubts about them to the back of your mind. They may seem like a slippery sales type or a dreamless one from human remains, but give them a chance and ask questions. If you ask questions, you are taking an interest and always remember those questions that there is no answer to. If they say something you disagree with challenge them. I don’t believe in capital punishment but I don’t say you’re stupid if you say you do believe in it. I ask questions, like how about people who are innocent and convicted wrongly? How about soldiers in the past suffering post traumatic stress disorder (shell shock) who were executed for cowardice? Isn’t it cruel keeping people on death row for years making them wait for a fairly certain death? How about the cost? It costs a million dollars to execute someone with all the legal appeals and the blood sucking lawyers and the death row stuff? I ask questions and although I may disagree with you, you have a right to your opinion. If you say I’m a crap writer that’s different; you should be taken out and shot – no death row nonsense… 

    Today’s blog is a little serious, back to the funnies tomorrow…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 11, 2010

       Hi Mike, yes you did predict Nov 10 as a “different” day and I was offline most of the day visiting Grandbaby Tyler, but your post was a thought provoker, so I’m “using you” 🙂 by posting as today’s entry.

       Although some people may look at your questions as cliche-ish [pardon me], the truth is that universal truth is Universal Truth and needs to be repeated, revisited and reconsidered.

       I particularly like your conclusion and hope readers get to it. BTW, what you and I are doing here are writing notes for some great works. Keep on keepin’ on!

       Reply
61. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 11, 2010

    Thursday, 11 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    I should get back to normal today…

    Farmville.

    I knew it would happen! I lost my lead yesterday! I know that my friend is networking better than me and doing all kinds of co-ops. I started a co-op this morning and will have to be a little more communicative to get people to join. I am not that bothered about getting my lead back. I was 3,000 behind this morning – I’m about 50 ahead again now! I can be so annoying…

    Streetview

    I’ve been using Google Streetview a lot and one of my student friends in China was able to use it to see where I live. I had a look at the first place I worked today — spooky. It used to have tunnels underneath that fascinated me; now it is a tunnel!

    I zoomed forward and everything went black on Streetview; I was in a road tunnel! I liked that building, it was Victorian and was really unusual, but it was demolished. I actually worked on the building to replace it while it was being built. I didn’t want to work in that. There were sort of secret corridors throughout the building so the management could spy on staff and mezzanine floors between the normal floors.

    There was two-way glass in the old building for the spies. I remember them putting two way mirrored glass in a ladies ‘rest room’ once. The idea was they could look out but anyone trying to look in would see mirrors. It was a dreamless idea of course and the workmen putting the windows in thought they were mirrors and so did the ladies using the room! You can’t make this stuff up! Of course the ladies would stand in front of the mirrors admiring themselves and the guys in the offices opposite would be the other side of the one way glass admiring them also. I spent about five weeks there and moved on.

    The next place was even more top secret. I worked for the government. I looked at that building too, it’s still there! It has an extension on it and the entrance where the bomber got in and tried to blow us all up is much more secure. I looked for the communications tower, 400 feet and made of concrete it had to be around somewhere. Then I remembered heaven! Heaven was the top floor of the building opposite where I worked. That building had about 20 executives and about 200 young girls in mini skirts to serve their every need. We would go over and pretend to be important, flashing government identification cards at security, into the lift and up to the top floor. We were the only ones in the restaurant under the age of 40 years old with 200 young ladies all competing to see who could wear the shortest skirt! We even had luncheon vouchers! It was of course much better than the places we usually ate, it was for executives, but wasted on them.

    We would have coffee every lunch time with the girls and a few laughs. These girls were typists, secretaries and personal assistants. Over the road the girls were not quite as sophisticated. I was once asked by a couple of older guys why I didn’t take an interest in them. I didn’t tell them we could do better over the road! Heaven was a closely guarded secret; we didn’t want better paid guys muscling in on our territory.

    Did you know Bill Clinton played the saxophone? I would have thought the harmonica would have been more his style, you can suck and blow when you play one of those. I was asked if I approved of George Bush’s policy of using water over terrorists faces to give a feeling of drowning as a kind of torture. No, I often support organisations like Amnesty; torture is for dreamless ones and their primitive Neanderthal genes makes it difficult for them to know any better. Leaders like Bush, Hitler, Stalin and many more were so full of hate; amongst other things that they did primitive things. I’m a little more sophisticated.

    I went shopping yesterday. I went into a shop where everything is a pound. I didn’t look at the prices this time. I got a can of that stuff you spray on the black parts of your car to make it look blacker, 2 packs of A4 envelopes, vinegar and a A4 picture frame. I bought five items and then had a dreamless moment and asked the girl “how much.” I realised as soon as I said it and she smiled and said five pounds, it’s weird how the cash register works in there. No need for pence, they just press the button five times and that’s it, five pounds! In Japan pricing stuff at 2.99 is illegal, because it’s dreamless; they save all that work giving people a penny or cent change and save a fortune minting pennies. Pricing stuff like that is as dreamless as trying to save daylight; the dreamless ones try to do that too.

    I shall ask my Chinese student friend about that later, they don’t try to save daylight there. I wonder if they do dreamless pricing. She says I don’t understand why they are different being only children. I can’t fully understand because my mum had eight children, but I’ll try to help her write her speech anyway. It is weird; they have no siblings and their children won’t even have cousins. I haven’t had contact with my cousins for years, I don’t have much contact with my siblings any more. They’ll come around when I win the lottery… No worries…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 11, 2010

       OK, now I’m curious about the 8 children in your family. We had six. And I imagine both of us have several books in us — just on our siblings, right?

       I wonder how really different only children are . . . or are they? I suspect my grandbaby Tyler will be an only child, not to mention only grandchild for me!

       Reply
62. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 12, 2010

    Friday, 12 November 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Farmville

    I remember a long time ago having to try to deal with someone addicted to slot machines. I was told to dismiss her from her job, but I decided to try to help instead.

    People do get addicted to computer games, and Farmville is even designed to be addictive. I think three of my friends are buying FV cash; that indicates addiction. One scored around 50,000 overnight to take second place. I am not competing against that!

    It raises the question as to whether Zynga are behaving responsibly or just grabbing as much cash as possible. I’m familiar with the game and Facebook and they are being quite silly. It is not in the interests of Facebook to allow this to continue. Facebook has the potential to be the first company in the world to be worth a trillion dollars; they spoil the opportunity by allowing a partner to exploit people; that is not good business. I shall play but I’m not spending real money!

    Meanwhile…

    If you read this blog regularly you will know dreams interest me. I have dreams and will set new goals for the New Year. I am being troubled by the ones I have while I’m asleep. They are a little disturbing. They relate to my past and as much as we try to be positive, the past can put doubts in our minds, and we can feel negative while trying to be positive. At least I know why I feel so negative first thing in the morning; I remembered last night’s dreams!

    The good news is the recurring dream probably won’t happen again. I was dreaming I was driving down a road that went nowhere. The road is real, I know where it is now and the dream is symbolic of my past; I was going nowhere for a long time. I have fixed most of that. The dreamless ones are, of course, the stupid ones, and there is no escaping them…

    I have written a short story for radio, but have to send it in double type spaced and in an A4 envelope. I ran out of envelopes and so had to buy some. I will also have to take it to the post office and my local ones have closed. The dreamless ones closed post offices and the remaining post office is hard to park near and the same goes for getting the envelopes. I went to get envelopes and got two packs. I had to park outside a shop I use regularly but it’s marked no parking, I was about 2 feet into the no parking area and so went into the shop and mentioned it. The owner wasn’t due back and no deliveries were expected and I would only be 5 minutes; there wasn’t really a problem and there was no official no parking signs. The law says I am allowed to park, even if it says no parking as long as the kerb isn’t marked with yellow markings saying it is reserved legally for loading and unloading. I didn’t notice when I returned to the car; a dreamless one had given me a ticket.

    This is the local council trying to make cash. The ticket if for £70, I can pay half within 14 days and there is an online appeals process. I had to read the details off a ticket that was soaking wet! I am not happy! I’m not dopey either – I’ll appeal! I have to go back for stamps next week… I’m grumpy now…

    Candidate stuff

    I’ll do my which candidate stuff. I’ll describe three candidates for an administrative managerial job and you can decide which you think you would give the job to.

    Candidate A

    This candidate has about 10 years experience in management. He was the blue-eyed boy, literally. He is currently in management. His education includes high school and computer literacy, but not much higher education. He also qualified to drive heavy good vehicles, spend a lot of time truck driving and then went into teaching truck driving. Since then he has been in management with a transport firm. He is married with a teenage daughter in High school. His wife is a professional at the local university.

    Candidate B

    This candidate went to the same high school as candidate A and also did computer classes but specialised in metallurgy rather than transport. He has over 20 years in a supervisory role and a year in transport management. He is married, has two children and three grand children. His wife works in a retail store in customer service.

    Candidate C

    This young woman is very bright and has a degree in business administration and is studying part time for an MBA. She has no experience and hasn’t even had a part time job. She is certainly the best qualified educationally and may demand a lower salary because of her inexperience. She is also the youngest candidate. She is very ambitious and unmarried and not even in a relationship. She puts studies and work first before other interests.

    Which one do you favour based on those brief descriptions? These are real people I have described and I am interested in whether you would go for the young woman, the grand father; who has less managerial experience but twice as much in a supervisory role or the one with most managerial experience. Will you discriminate on ground of age, sex, education or experience? I’m interested in reasons for your choice obviously.

    If I get a response, I’ll say more about those three people tomorrow. I shall write about them anyway, Shari wants me to write about them! It’s interesting to acknowledge that we all have our prejudices and it is important we recognise them.

    I watched a couple of films last night, the first as about racial prejudice and the second was ‘Lady Vengeance’ a Chinese film with subtitles. That is a weird film! It is a sort of insight into Chinese culture though, the girl in it gets raped and she does really terrible things. The rapist, she ties to a chair kicks him half to death and then shoots him in both feet. She shoots a cute little dog too so if you’re an animal lover, don’t watch it. I won’t tell you any more in case you intend to watch it, but it’s seriously weird and covers a lot of taboo subjects.

    I have to edit a speech for a Chinese student now, I have advised one to read up on Chinese astrology because there is money in it here. The Chinese like western astrology – the grass is always greener on the other side of the world.

    Shari is in Ohio I think, I looked at the place on Streetview. I started at a funeral home and went down cemetery drive to the interstate. The roads are wide and not as exciting as here. I have nearly been killed twice this week and I don’t get out that much. I also had that parking ticket from a dreamless one…

    My mind’s gone blank…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 12, 2010

       Mike, I see nothing in the three candidate descriptions to eliminate them from consideration FOR AN INTERVIEW.
       🙂
       Hiring without a personal interview would seem foolhardy. I’d be very interested in seeing how prepared each candidate would be to talk with me, how energetic, and how “un-desperate.”

       Re: parking ticket. You reminded me. We have one to pay as well . . . for parking during a “volunteer” assignment — after having been instructed to park there. We did the First appeal, which was turned down with a response that showed that particular appeal entity had not even read our letter about the situation. Will we try again? Why not. Just like I’ll write to the insurance company executives to complain about the incomplete accident compensation — even though I cashed the checks to help pay for my new car.

       BTW, Ohio is beautiful these days . . . as is the family
       🙂
       My daughter-in-law admitted that my grandbaby is “perfect” and I have to agree.
       🙂
       Hard to think about too much else during this visit.

       Reply
63. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 13, 2010

    13th November 2010 Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Farmville

    In England newspapers are sold by newsagents who also usually sell magazines, stationery and a variety of other things. One newsagent did well when a supermarket opened nearby, attracting new trade; but then when the supermarket started selling newspapers and magazines, his business crashed.

    I have supermarkets near me, and the smaller shops can’t compete and so they have to adapt. Services not offered by supermarkets survive, but the rest suffer. This week I looked into greengrocers for fruit; they don’t survive long here unless they compete more effectively with the supermarket.

    I realised the other day I can’t compete at Farmville now unless I buy FV cash and I won’t do that. I was competing with my friend from Holland but noticed her American friend was catching up fast – she must also be buying Farmville cash. This is a similar situation to the small business trying to compete with the all pervasive big business; you can’t compete. I decided to take the lead back when my friend from Holland took the lead, but then her American friend caught up as I expected. The game has changed now. They were helping each other and now they have 1st and 2nd place – I stopped competing and they are now competing against each other. I have my friend from Holland helping me now!

    This is similar to the situation the newsagent was in: he can give up or he could perhaps start a co-operative venture with other newsagents to compete with the supermarket.

    Meanwhile…

    I have been writing a speech, and my short story is winging its way to the BBC. I gave the envelope to my sister to take to the Post office on her way home; I’m not risking another parking ticket. I have spent this morning helping one of my Chinese student friends. There are competitions at the university; one is reading a speech in English and another is in a singing competition. My friend tried to read her speech to me using Voice over IP while her roommate sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in Chinese in the background.

    My jokes go down in China, but very slowly. My comment, “Please ask you friend to leave that cat alone,” took time to sink in! My friend is going to sing a Karen Carpenter song. She wants to win the speech competition, though, and the teacher has set the topic. The topic is what concerns you most!

    What concerns me most is whether my friend can manage to pronounce concerns! I have figured out though it is the second C in the word that is a problem and told her to forget it’s a c and pronounce as an s – it worked. If the other contestants have the same problem she should win! The speech is good obviously, I wrote it!

    Earlier in the week I wrote some management questions and then answered them. Shari said it was cliché –ish but this stuff needed to be repeated. Those questions came from a paper by university professors who were paid and paid very well to answer such questions and advise a health service trust here in England on management criteria. The answers were blindingly obvious to me. The health service pays consultants a lot, like £170 million to IBM and then bought from Dell. I wonder what advice is worth £170 million? Anyway, I have to advise my Chinese students on that and another assignment this week. I wish the teacher didn’t keep adding to the question; just stick to what is on the paper. I would bet money that the Chinese teacher can’t say concerned either…

    I also wrote about three candidates for a job this week. The young woman I described I am trying to help get work experience; that is the big problem for a lot of graduates. Shari made a comment that they shouldn’t appear ‘desperate’. This could have been a problem. The other two candidates I described are my brothers, Trevor and Chris. Trevor lost his job last year and was ‘desperate’ but tried not to show it. Chris got a new managerial job and better pay in training and they needed a warehouse manager. He got Trevor that job! Then the government cuts came and the company was part of a government training scheme – so the warehouse manager’s job went. Trevor got the job that Chris left to take that job in the first place; things have gotten worse since, and now Chris has the warehouse manager’s job as well as his own!

    Chris is more of an extrovert than Trevor and so I thought he may be favoured. Trevor probably works harder.

    Shari is curious about my family. My mum did have 8 children, but one died before I was born. I have a genetic disease and she probably had that. My oldest sister lived here, and I looked after her before she died and the same with an older brother. My other sister came here yesterday, she was a hair stylist and is about to go off on a cruise or something. She cut my hair and tidied me up before she went! My oldest brother I haven’t seen since my other sister died in 2004. I think he is on a permanent holiday now. They go on a lot of cruises. He is still CEO of his company; he was working 4 days a month; when he isn’t on a cruise. We are a little alike; we both went to the same English grammar school, both play chess as a result, both into computers.

    However, he is useless with anyone who is sick, which is probably why I never see him. He’ll be 75 years old in a couple of weeks. I usually see Trevor on a Saturday, but he hasn’t been yet. Chris, I will invite with his wife, daughter and mother in law at Christmas. His niece on his wife’s side, too, she has had a hard time; in fact I may buy her a Christmas present.

    I have another Chinese student online, I hope she doesn’t sing twinkle, twinkle, little star! She has this assignment that I read earlier. I just remembered an article I read by a recently graduated journalist on social networking. Shari and I could do better, blindfolded with both hands tied behind our backs…

    Thank God, the word counter says 1,000 words…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 13, 2010

       I just remembered an article I read by a recently graduated journalist on social networking. Shari and I could do better, blindfolded with both hands tied behind our backs…

       OK, let’s get started: In January, I begin teaching my online course in social media for journalists. No Blindfolds. So I may start [not at the very very beginning] with a Blog lesson and set-up for personal blogs. Mike, what would your very first lesson be to these budding journalists? About how not to be the newsagent?

       The Desperation Lesson in How To Get a Job is CRUCIAL. Do NOT under any circumstances appear desperate. I did once, and it wasn’t pretty — although I had had no idea that I’d acted that way. I’d thought I’d kept underwraps the fact that I needed the job so badly. But after not ace-ing the interview [like I’d thought I had], a friend suggested I get up the nerve to call one of the interviewers and ask Why Didn’t I Get the Job.
       She could have lied to me.
       But she didn’t.
       She flat out told me that I’d seemed Too Desperate.
       So the very next job I went after, I took along the attitude that I “could care less” if they liked me or not; however, I knew that I was perfect for that job [as well; it was pretty much the same job I hadn’t been hired for the week before].
       Needless to say, I did get it, and the whole interview process was loads easier.
       Good luck to your siblings, Mike.

       Reply
64. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 14, 2010

    Sunday, 14th November 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me.

    Farmville

    I’m still in third place at Farmville and not as competitive as I was. My friends probably wonder what I’m up to! Am doing what retired people do, I’m being difficult! I was spending a lot of time maintaining my lead, but I spend less time now and so have time to give away free gifts. My friends are buying FV cash using real money! I give away free gifts and they have to spend more real money to stay ahead – what a pain! 

    It is better for me because I didn’t have the time to be that competitive at the game; but there are important lessons to learn. I am still in third place and well ahead of over 40 friends playing. Only two have a higher score. I am also building a stock off cash and fuel for an assault on their lead if they don’t stay on the ball!

    How not to write

    Shari is teaching journalism students in January and so they need to learn how to write and what not to write. I have just read an article by a journalist newly graduated from Cambridge, one of the UK’s top universities. He describes his ‘home area’ as Cheshire and works in London. The title of his masterpiece is ‘5 steps to financial happiness’ (stop laughing this is serious).

    Step one:

    He writes that coffee costs £2.10 in London and they drink two cups a day. He suggests making your own. I make a quick calculation £4.20 a day for 5 days is £21, so well over £1,000 a year. I don’t know the price of coffee, but he calculated that at £2 a week. So he will save £19 a week if he makes his own coffee. Over a year I calculate that at close to a £1,000 but then we take out the times when our genius doesn’t work, public holidays and when he is having his two weeks in Spain on the Costa Packett. He would save around £700; he calculated £500. He is either bad at math or spends six months of the year on holiday.

    Step two:

    Our Cambridge-educated genius’ next idea is to save money by eating out once a month instead of every week. His math really sucks now. He reckons £80 for a meal out for two. That would be £320 a month so the saving is £240 a month. He makes it saving: £140 a month. I copied and pasted that; I can’t believe his math is so bad (stop laughing it’s serious).

    Step three:

    This is the old switch from cable or satellite TV to Free digital broadcasts. I never went on to the expensive one in the first place. I have a box that gets the free digital channels and I press a button and record if I want to. I was watching TV in bed last night. It was OK, not great but out of 40 channels, there was only one drama worth watching and all the movies I had seen before. To watch one I haven’t seen before would be subscription and most modern movies are garbage. Then you have programs with Simon Cowell in; enough said on the quality of TV generally. He reckons you can save £30 a month. Why does he have a TV at all? He is on holiday for six months of the year.

    Step four:

    Get a water meter; he reckons this would save £10 a month in his ‘home area’ of Cheshire, 100 miles from where he works. Forget the water mate, how much is it costing you to get to work? 200 miles a day and petrol at £1.20 a litre and then the £5 congestion charge to get into London. Then you can’t have a shower because it uses water and puts your bill up! I’ll stick to a standard charge; I like my showers and constant cups of tea…

    Step five:

    Change you energy supplier for gas and electricity. Yeah, good idea, I did that. I signed the new contract and after the 5-day cooling off period was up, the new company put the price up 10.5% – great. I save nothing and have a load of problems reading meters. I am smarter than the average Cambridge graduate and I also pay the bill. I locked into a 1-month contract so will read the meter this week and enter the readings on the website. The contract is cancelled because they mis-sold it and I got a great tariff and a 12-month price fix with the old company and a 20% saving. I am so glad I didn’t graduate at Cambridge (stop laughing – money is serious).

    He does well though. He can afford to travel over 100 miles a day to work in London. That is an achievement by itself. I would go nuts just driving down the motorway in the morning. Then there is the price of petrol at £1.20 a litre (more on the motorway), then he buys coffee at £2.10 a cup twice a day and spends £80 once a week taking someone out for a meal in London!

    I have had enough; he is an idiot. I will save you doing the calculations. If he makes his own coffee and eats when he gets home, he will save the equivalent of $20,000 US a year. That is about £12,000 in our money. That is peanuts compared to what he spends on petrol.

    My Chinese friends are much smarter and are going to Wolverhampton University; unlike Cambridge the people here can do math. I have to help them now, writing speeches…

    It’s now 3 pm and I have done 2 speeches and advised on a management assignment. The professor asked the question about running a small hotel with a staff of 30. They want a 1,000 word answer, the question is that long and it is obviously the professor has never tried to run a hotel. I know who will win the speech competition now! 😉 I think I may be helping heal a rift between the students – we will see…

    I shall write more about those budding journalism students. I could set them some assignments! Cool! I could start a whole new trend, young journalists who have actually been out and done something! 🙂

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 14, 2010

       I have long contended [having taught at several colleges of varying pedigrees] that the student’s learning will come a combination of his or her own motivation AND a great teacher, but the former is more crucial than the latter. The prestige of the institution has little to do with the quality of education. The quality of the networking opportunities, however, is a different story.

       Mike, your insights for my new journalism students will be greatly anticipated, but keep in mind that these Great Minds have already been introduced to the principles of journalism and journalistic writing. “We” will share with them how Social Media platforms and strategies,[ i.e. technology, New Media] have changed the game. Speaking of “game,” perhaps there needs to be a Farmville component, or better yet, Why Not YOU invent a Journalism students Farmville game. The more I think about that idea, the more brilliant I think it is.

       What do you say? Are you game?
       🙂

       Reply
65. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 15, 2010

    Monday, 15 November 2010, Sierra Oscar, I’m back…

    It’s Monday and it’s freezing. My nightmares have stopped but the weird dreams still remain to a certain extent. I didn’t sleep well, and the weekend was taken up largely with helping Chinese students.

    I have interesting stuff to write today, I hope. Shari said when you apply for a job or go to the interview don’t appear too desperate. I will offer the same advice but apply it to social networking. Don’t appear too desperate on LinkedIn or Facebook for that matter. One of my friends is on most of the social networks; she is good at promoting herself and I follow her on Twitter. She did tweet something over the weekend. She isn’t sending out tweets all the time; she is not desperate! I think she should make more of an effort on LinkedIn and not bother at all with some social networks. I don’t think a page on MySpace is helpful any more.

    Shari also said she thought I get my ideas from remembering previous lives, spookily this is nearly right. I will attempt to explain! You may remember if you are a regular reader I said we have two parents, 4 grand parents, 8 great grand parent and 16 great great grandparents and the number of ancestors double with each past generation and we have thousands if we go back a 1,000 years. We inherit diseases from them, the shape of our nose and all sorts of physical features are inherited. Many people believe we inherit personality traits, I think environment has more affect on personality development, but genetics may make a contribution. We pass all kinds of information down from one generation to another but what about the information in our minds?

    Do we have information from a 1,000 years ago passed down from our ancestors? Carl Jung, the famous psychologist thought so. I had a dream a few nights ago and I remembered a little of it when I woke up but then I could only remember one word synchronicity. Then I forgot it again and yesterday I was reminded of it and looked it up using Google and I read Jung again and understood what he meant by synchronicity. I made sure my 1 terabyte hard drive was plugged in to my laptop at 10 o’clock this morning to back up all the data on this computer. It will all go on to my next computer; information will be passed from one generation of computer to another. I will have to synchronise the computer to the external hard drive of course. Carl Jung thought our subconscious minds were synchronised to the stars and planets and he believed in astrology. He also read a translation of I Ching the Chinese book of changes. He believed that subconsciously we can predict the future and if we study astrology, Western or Chinese our subconscious minds will help us interpret the synchronous information we find, correctly.

    I made a mistake when I did the Chinese horoscopes for Shari and myself. I misinterpreted a Chinese word. The word was Tao, and I thought if was about a philosophical religiously inspired concept. It actually means the path you follow through life and this to a certain extent is pre-ordained and so predictable.

    Do you remember when the current ‘credit crunch’ started? What did people do? They talked not about the future but about the past. I heard lots about the depression of the 1930s and millions of words were written about the depression; it was analysed all over again as people searched for answers. Keynesian theory was once again discussed and people looked to the past and perhaps to their ancestors for answers. Should we go back to the gold standard?

    I can now update the Chinese horoscope for Shari; as I originally said this period will be dominated by a pre-Christmas preparations and tidying up of affairs from the last phase in her life. She will probably deal with her insurance claim once and for all and that parking ticket. What happens after Christmas and the New Year was a but fuzzy but I now know that is where the path is important and things will go really well after the start of the Chinese New Year on the 3rd of February but in the interim between our New Year and the Chinese New Year she will be torn between alternatives. She will need to be diverse. I know she is starting to teach these journalism students in January, but I know little else. What could pull her in different directions in January?

    Whatever it is, she should resist both forces and follow her chosen path. There is a pre-ordained path to follow and that will bring greater success. I must find out more about this because I have my own path to follow. I’m going to do really well starting in February and the Chinese New Year but January is a little hazy; I’m not optimistic about getting anything published by the BBC or Penguin; but even if I did, success wouldn’t be immediate. I would have to wait until at least February and so all is not lost!

    We look to the past for answers…

    I think if I was teaching those journalists that Shari has to teach in January, I would help them learn from the past and compare it with the present and even the future. I’m English and so the history of journalism is different here. I might give them copies of the Times and a rag like the Sun newspaper and ask them to dissect them and compare them. The Times is of course the equivalent of LinkedIn and the Sun may be like a down market social network. The Sun doesn’t correspond with Facebook; what newspaper does? I would choose a newspaper that is in between those two extremes, perhaps the Daily Mail? When they dissect the newspapers, they will see front page news, less important news inside, display advertising, full page advertising, classified advertising and even dating! They would also see features, the agony aunt, gardening news, a motoring column, fashion, etc. I would ask the students if any of these things are missing from LinkedIn or Facebook. What page on Facebook is the equivalent of the front page of the newspaper? Is it the log in page? If so why is it so plain?

    I ask questions constantly and read and experience. That is what students need to do. I came out of junior school with my friend when I was very young. We had an assignment to find out about the local public health department. We had a week to find out. I had it done an hour later! I said to my friend, run! He ran and followed me and I was following a garbage truck. On the side it had written “Department of Public Health” and the name of the director. Thirty minutes later we followed the garbage truck into the depot and we got to talk to the director and he answered all the questions! We did rather well on that assignment, experience worked better than research.

    I’ve gone over 1,000 words. I will try to write about why our dreams are important when we try to predict the future and understand the past in the days to come. I could be on a roll!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 16, 2010

       Sorry, Mike, yesterday was a LONG, GRUELING Travel Day . . . on little sleep the night before!

       Lots to digest in this post as well as great advice for students. However, your journalism teaching advice doesn’t apply to the course I’m assigned — it is ALL ABOUT social media for journalists, so the history lessons will need to be reserved for other instructors [although I have taught journalism history in the past, and our US journalism history is a fascinating topic].

       Reply
66. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 16, 2010

    Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Social Networking: Learning from the past.

    “In the United Kingdom, the network exists primarily within alumni of the Eton Group and the Rugby Group public schools, as well as having affiliation with Oxford University and/or Cambridge University, is colloquially known as “The Old Boys’ Network”. Such a network is often blamed for an apparent high proportion of former pupils of these schools and graduates of these universities in high status positions in government, business, and the professions.”

    I copied and pasted that quote from Wikipedia and the “Old Boy’s Network” is the oldest form of social networking and the most elitist. My old headmaster was part of that network, being Oxbridge educated. Oxbridge means Oxford, Cambridge or both; was being the oldest and most prestigious universities in England. My headmaster insisted that alumni of the school be called ‘old boys’ and couldn’t understand why we objected to that. It was because we detested his “Old Boy’s Network” that discriminated cruelly and all it stood for. It can be a mistake to appear too elitist when engaging in social networking; inverted snobbery criticising people who are doing well just for the sake of it is to be avoided too.

    I read the latest column from the young Cambridge graduate journalist this morning. His latest idea is we have some GPS device in our cars and let insurance companies ‘spy’ on us and we get cheaper premiums if we don’t drive in the early hours of the morning and stuff. We would no doubt risk a higher premium if we went over the speed limit and could even provide evidence through GPS technology of wrong doing. He got that job through the “Old boy’s network” or perhaps the “The Old girl’s network”?

    His article was pathetic but not the worst one I have read this morning. The worst one came from that websites nemesis; their arch rivals. I was thinking of writing for this site; but not if they accept from morons! Anyway, this guy goes on about “welfare claimants” and supports government cuts with some odd statistics. He doesn’t appear to understand that most of that spending is on benefits supported by national insurance and people have a right to claim and if the government doesn’t pay out they are cheating the people. He also says people on welfare need to work because ‘foreign workers’ are taking their jobs. Yes, give the jobs only to people with good English names, no Patel’s, Singh’s and all that. What was the journalist’s name? It’s Milano, give the kid a job that’s good English name…

    I have had to warn my Chinese students about racists and bigots before they come to England to do their Masters degrees. They will borrow money and get grants from the Chinese lottery to come here at a cost that is 17 times that of a Chinese university. That is money pouring into Britain from China; we take tens of thousands of Chinese students, but bigots here will not understand. They will say they are immigrants taking their jobs, not that most of them have a job of course. A big danger to the students coming here are Chinese though and Triads; they fled China for Hong Kong and then fled Hong Kong for the UK when the Chinese took over. They are mostly active in the Chinese community and in China town so at least they can avoid them.

    There is no room for racism in social networking either and colour is just colour; culture can be difficult, but you just have to try to understand different cultures and beliefs. We even have to accept the elitist racists and be nice to them; never descend to the level of people in the gutter.

    This is serious stuff today; I’ll get back to the dreamless ones tomorrow. I’m still dreaming, weird dreams. Life is so complex, it’s not surprising. My neighbour is shopping; she asked if there was anything I wanted. I need stain remover, she just phoned. Do I want the 500 gram one; they are 2 for £5 or the 1.5 Kg one that is £10 but is on offer and half price? You can’t make this stuff up can you? Why write fiction when life is stranger than fiction? What next?

    I just had a break, made tea; looked out of the window. I heard shovelling when I got up and it was cold. I thought it hasn’t snowed has it? I looked out and four guys were shovelling leaves and dirt. I remembered the election leaflet for the local council election; this is the ‘deep street clean’. They are still at it but down to two guys now, one shovelling and one smoking a cigarette watching him shovelling. They look like a prison work party. The truck must have cost a few quid to hire; they are really cutting back! I wonder what that guy is doing with his cigarette ash; I hope it’s not going on my ‘deep cleaned’ street…

    Every cloud has a silver lining. One government department sends out bad news in manila envelopes and I coined the phrase ‘manila envelope syndrome’ to describe the feeling of dread when you get one. I had the dreaded manila envelope this week; they are giving me money! Don’t tell anyone!!! 🙂

    My car goes for a Ministry of Transport Test on Thursday and they will service and try to fix it while it’s in the garage. It will be weird being without a car for a day. I shall get a craving for something and not be able to go and buy it. I shall have a think and make sure I have everything I need for the day including any mysterious cravings. I have scotch, beer, drugs, cider, sweets, tea and chips; that should do it. I can’t imagine craving anything else except cigarettes and I even have those; I definitely won’t succumb to that craving if it rears its ugly head. I hope they fix my reserving lights, that is about all that needs fixing and the engine needs an oil change and stuff.

    I don’t like travelling; it is a remnant of my years of being very ill. I am getting better, I travel more and one day I will try driving down the motorway to the English countryside. I keep checking Google maps planning my escape to the country to take photographs. I could be driving past Anne Hathaway’s cottage in an hour if I get a move on! Did you know that Shakespeare left Anne Hathaway his ‘best bed’ in his will? I know lots of useless things.

    I wonder why when I check the word count it always says 1,085 and I write… 🙂

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 16, 2010

       One day without a car . . . sounds like a perfect post for Driving Miss Shari. But you could be happy, no reason to travel that day.
       🙂
       Re: Your Old Boy lessons — fortunately you learned to live without them.
       🙂

       Reply
67. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 17, 2010

    Wednesday, 17 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    I pasted this in yesterday:

    “In the United Kingdom, the network exists primarily within alumni of the Eton Group and the Rugby Group public schools, as well as having affiliation with Oxford University and/or Cambridge University, is colloquially known as “The Old Boys’ Network”. Such a network is often blamed for an apparent high proportion of former pupils of these schools and graduates of these universities in high status positions in government, business, and the professions.”

    I mentioned that I was expected to be an ‘old boy’ and believe I was better than everyone else. By everyone else I, of course, exclude the ‘old boys’ network of Oxbridge. I should revere and never criticise them!

    I rejected the idea and this morning I was able to criticise the ‘old boy network’ that put the UK into the hands of the elitist ‘old boy’s network’ and handed it to Cameron and Cleggy. They are Prime Minister and deputy Prime Minister respectively and from the old school of aristocratic, privileged, nose in troughs elite. Yes, it is a writer’s privilege in a democratic society to write scathing attacks on such people and their allies. Of course Americans are all loud mouthed and uncouth or so I was taught, but some from Yale and Harvard can be quite civilised. They are not British of course and certainly not English but they carry on the traditions as best they can. The “Skull and Cross bones” at Yale is a ‘secret society’ and is quite new being established as recently as 1832. It hardly compares to Oxford or Cambridge. The Americans are very progressive; I believe they are even allowing women in to some of their most secret societies. What’s next gays and blacks?

    This recession is getting a bit much. One cannot have as many days out as one would like. One should attend certain functions, like Royal Ascot, Henley, Wimbledon, Paris for the fashion shows and Cannes for the film festival and so on. One has to pay a thousand pounds just for a top hat for Ascot alone and ladies dresses are extremely expensive and you simply can’t find a dress maker these days. The poor just don’t want to work; they want welfare and more welfare. The government of course is going to cut all that nonsense. One should jolly well think so!

    Meanwhile…

    I was getting carried away then. I shouldn’t even talk to the Chinese; they are the yellow peril. My student friend was upset; the work load is a bit much. She has two assignments that have been returned by a teacher who doesn’t understand the question. Then there are competitions on the weekend for making a speech in English and singing. I said we would get one assignment out of the way. She asked if I could work on it a few hours. I worked on it for 15 minutes, done!

    It is difficult and many students get so stressed it starts arguments and there are murders and suicide. I take it seriously when they start to get stressed out. Hopefully that one assignment will be acceptable and we can work on the other one. The English has to be to Cambridge examination standards and so UK spelling – difficult when they can’t afford textbooks and the dictionary on their computer is a US one. It changes my dictionary to US from UK when they send me a file. Microsoft doesn’t help; they should do one Office program not one office program for the rich and a Works suite of programs for the poor. Gates is an elitist prat. He went to Harvard; one forgets the name of their bloody secret society. I of course have to use Harvard citation and referencing when I help my students:

    Plagiarism is the act of stealing someone else’s work and passing it off as your own. This includes incorporating either unattributed direct quotation(s) or substantial paraphrasing from the work of another/others. For this reason it is important that you cite all the sources whose work you have drawn on and reference them fully in accordance with the Harvard referencing standard.

    As If! My students wouldn’t cheat or get help with their assignments; they would rather commit suicide. This brings me on to a dilemma. Shari has some idea about her journalist students playing Farmville. Apart from the fact it has no class and is not the sort of thing one should do; is it suitable? My one student friend is worried about her assignments and competitions and the other one is playing an online game on QQ. There is a recession and competition is fierce. Should we encourage students to relax, take time out and play computer games… The alternative is study until midnight, burn the midnight oil and risk a nervous breakdown or even murder and suicide. Word is getting on my nerves correcting my grammar; it thinks I’m an uneducated Harvard graduate. Farmville is stressful, the damn pop ups drive people nuts; no wonder that poor woman shook her baby to death. I wonder which university the programmers went to. They probably belong to some obscure secret society for nerds obsessed with money. There initiation ceremony probably involves chickens and pig swill; I understand now…

    Anyway, should student journalists play Farmville?

    The answer is probably not — unless they are going to write about it. They could set up their own forum to practice social networking. I like the SMF, Simply Machines Forum; you can post pictures in them. They could set up a Fan page on Facebook and link it to an email list using MailChimp and then publish a newsletter. The newsletter could just be headlines with embedded hyperlinks to blogs on WordPress. That is publishing! Then they can do an RSS feed on the Facebook page. There is a whole load of apps they could use to link the fan page to Twitter and stuff. They can be found here:

    http://www.involver.com/applications/free/?app=twitter

    They can also publish using PDF’s downloaded from the Facebook page, cool…

    The word count is over a 1,000 words… I was starting to sound like I knew something about social networking then, so just as well…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 18, 2010

       I’ll have to ask my j-students what they think of You . . . and your suggestions
       🙂

       Reply
68. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 18, 2010

    Thursday, 18 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I am back…

    I was once accused of wandering off the subject by an editor; I wish I had a subject to wander off this morning. I shall begin with the latest news:

    Eat and Run…

    (Reuters) – An unemployed man has been charged with wining and dining at a series of London’s top restaurants, running up massive bills and then disappearing without paying, police said on Wednesday.
    Latvian Janis Nords, 27, is accused of carrying out the scam on three occasions between October 14 and November 15.
    He is accused of running off after amassing a 349-pound ($555) bill at the Glass House restaurant in Richmond, southwest London, and a 965-pound bill at the Connaught Hotel in central London.
    The largest unpaid bill was at L’Oranger French restaurant in central London where he is accused of failing to pay for 1,021 pounds worth of food and drink.
    Nords was due to appear in court later on Wednesday.

    You may as well be hung for an haute cuisine as a burger… At least he has taste…

    I wandered off the subject yesterday. I was writing about universities, the secret societies and then Farmville and then Farmville programmer and back to universities and asked that rhetorical question about the Farmville programmers initiation ceremony when they join a secret society.

    Does it involve chickens and pig swill?

    I read my stuff back the next day and that was the one line that made me laugh. Of course wandering off the subject is what writing comedy and satire is all about and most important is wandering back on to the subject.

    I wasn’t asked for my help by the Chinese students yesterday, I felt unwanted and unloved. It was weird, I had time to read and read the novel I am supposed to review. It was the climax of the book, it could be the ante-climax; I haven’t got to the end yet. It was an anti-climax to me.Aalthough as it was a sex scene, I can understand the author thinking it was a climax! It made me worry. I thought if this author can misinterpret what men think and how they behave when writing, have I done that when writing about women. It is an important question because my psychological thriller is largely through the eyes of an 18-year-old girl.

    Jane said “It’s raunchy, raunchy, raunchy. Keep on writing it,” I must be getting something right. I shall be very pleased to finish this novel. I have mixed feelings about it. It could have been good, if I had been the editor when it was being written. It’s too late now, it’s been printed and although the printing is very good. The editor didn’t spot the God awful punctuation mistakes that mix the dialogue with narration. I shall finish it and give an honest opinion.

    My page 99 is on a website, not all of it would fit in the space provided. The last paragraph didn’t fit so a few people have judged it on less than a page. I got a couple of negative reviews and a couple of non-committal ones. These are writers and we do tend to be more critical than the semi-dreamless ones that we hope will buy our books.

    I bought a new sweater (I’m wandering again) in the summer. It’s warm but doesn’t keep my knees warm and I think cold knees tend to hurt at my age. My tea keeps going cold too. I may put the really warm sweater away and turn the heating up!

    My car is in the garage. It will be expensive; the bill was up to £130 before they even looked at it. I calculated how much it has cost so far including everything; so many people forget depreciation and some forget maintenance. I don’t think I could run a luxury saloon cheaper unless I stopped going to the chip shop. Just after I first bought it people wanted to buy it from me, but I haven’t had an offer for years. Someone seemed surprised when I pointed to it last year. We were leaving a building and she asked where my car was and it was right in front of us. It wasn’t so much what she said that was interesting, more the expression on her face that said; “that’s posh.” She obviously couldn’t see the dent at the back. I was going to get that fixed but it runs fine regardless of a small dent. I hope the oil light stops flashing when I take it from 0 to 60 when I race away from the chip shop. You have to be quick there, they come off the motorway and don’t realise how fast they are going. They come around the bend at 50 and I like to get out of the way rather quickly.

    I read something about a writer who hates adverbs not long ago. I’m not bothered but I’m more aware of them now! I don’t think I use them very much; apparently it’s bad writing if you use them too much. I don’t care; there are a couple of adverbs in the last paragraph. Who cares?

    Did you know that potatoes are good for depression? I wish I could eat something that cured the word recall problem. There is a word recall problem that affects people as they get older. I first noticed it six years ago when I first lived alone. I had to do the Christmas cards and couldn’t remember my next door neighbours name; his wife – yes, his name – not a chance. I am trying to think of a chemical in the brain associated with serotonin re-uptake. SSRI’s are serotonin re-uptake inhibitors and the well known one is Prozac. To make the mysterious chemical that my brain won’t reveal to me you need fructose (fruit sugar) and there is fructose in potatoes; so potatoes are good for depression. Fruit has fructose in and so that is good too, but B vitamins are fat soluble and they are good for depression. There is no fat in fruit. I’ll keep eating chips; they have fat in the form of poly unsaturated fat from vegetable oil and of course fructose. You are wondering why I wandered onto this subject… I can tell. I was thinking about Chinese cooking again and wondering as I wandered if there was fructose in rice.

    I just searched the Internet for a sentence beginning in ‘I wonder’:

    例句：I wonder if you could tell me something.这句话比Can I ask you something?语气更委婉。I hope you don’t mind my asking this.询问对方私人问题前可以这么说。

    If that looks like Gobbledegook; you haven’t got the PMingLiu Chinese font installed on your computer! That is sentence of the day for some Chinese students leaning English. I have Google search Chinese sites as well as UK ones now. It is seriously weird…

    Anyway, the supermarket is Asda, they bought my Walmart and I checked out their website yesterday looking for bean sprouts. The search said ‘not found’ but they have packs of ingredients for doing stir fry. One is 40% bean sprouts and 60% vegetables. I wonder if bean sprouts contain fructose. They contain sugar! They must contain some sugar because sugar caramelises when fried and turns brown. I just checked that and I’m now more confused. The rice caramelises anyway; and we have vegetables so we have an antidepressant stir fry. I found a recipe for Chinese toffee apples on Facebook. The Chinese have access now to Google and can look at my house on Street view. I found a Chinese Facebook too! It links in to the normal one because I found my page. I shall have to ask my Chinese students is they can access it. That could be why I didn’t hear from them yesterday, they are all signing up to Facebook! Stand by for 800,000,000 extra friends on Facebook! I shall warn my Chinese students. Please don’t tell all your friends I’m on Facebook; I’m busy enough. Can you imagine playing Farmville again a few million Chinese students? Now this would be good networking for Journalistic students! I forgot the word count! I am way over 1,000 words…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
69. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 19, 2010

    Friday, 19 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    I didn’t have a clue what to write about yesterday and it’s nearly as bad today. My Chinese horoscope said this phase of my life would be blighted by vague health problems. It was right. I have a vague headache and I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well. I haven’t slept well since this ‘phase’ started. Fortunately things are due to improve in the New Year and especially the Chinese New year when my life should be great! I can’t wait; perhaps the nightmares and weird dreams will stop.

    My car sailed through the safety test; the mechanic and owner of the local garage was very enthusiastic about how well it was looked after and said it was in good condition. He did advise a new cam belt however; it is expensive if that goes. I shall have it done in the New Year when my life is more successful! The bill wasn’t too bad but the one for the new cam belt will be a couple of hundred, especially with the New Year VAT rise. My friend was confused. When he saw my car missing, he thought I was missing with it! He phoned and when he got the answer service decided to actually ring my door bell and see if I was here… He was nervous about going to a creative writing class. He didn’t really say he was nervous, or I would have given him a few tips on creative writing or even a very similar subject.

    The teacher didn’t turn up and he is on a teacher training course and so he volunteered to take the class. He complained another teacher tried to interfere. I can imagine that! He always has very weird ideas and probably wanted his class to do something not at all connected with creative writing. I helped him with a creative group early this year and he wanted to make a video; everyone else wanted to make a run for it.

    He was stressed out and couldn’t sleep and so talked to me using Windows Live. I was in bed stressed out because Farmville wouldn’t connect! I was even more stressed out when I woke up from a nightmare at 4:30 in the morning. I had a large scotch and that helped me sleep but I didn’t enjoy it; I used to enjoy a large scotch. I am getting seriously weird. I’m starting to dislike scotch and enjoy Chinese food; that is seriously weird.

    Time travel

    Do you remember directories? They were where we put files before Microsoft changed the name to folders. If you go to the command line and type dir for directory it lists all the files; spooky! There were lots of switches like dir /w for wide screen. I wrote batch files that did all sorts of smart things and your computer came with books! We are talking proper books over an inch thick! I had two; one for the operating system and one for the BASIC programming language. There is no point in offering books now; dreamless ones get computers for Christmas. I saw computer tips for the over 50s earlier. They want people over 50 to pay for information on how to search using Google. I just type a word in to Chrome and it searches or even just highlight a word on a web page and search. I did it earlier; someone gave a journalist a lecture on gerunds and I looked up the definition of gerund. I’m not sure why I did that, but now I keep looking back through each paragraph I write and instead of looking to see if I have used too many adverbs like I usually do, I’m looking for gerunds now too. Gerunds end in ing, no can’t see one anywhere! I think I have a natural aversion to adverbs too. Anyway, before the PC there were Commodore computers and a lot of other weird machines. Icicle Works took 64K of memory and a slow processor; it was a fast and furious game. I could play that for hours and was unbeatable. The new Windows Live is 64 Mb, up from 16 Mb for the old version. I have a ridiculous 91 processes running on my computer and it’s using nearly 2 Gb of memory. The programmers are less skilled and use high level languages. Farmville uses Flash and is particularly processor hungry. I have all sorts of extras though, pop up icons when I hover over an icon on my task bar, I have a web cam and microphone, blue tooth (silly name – wonder what it does?) and have about three programs just to listen to music. I have Microsoft programs for music and then I have HP programs that do the same thing but slower. There is repetition; it’s unnecessary and costs money. If they are going to do something innovative, why not Icicle Works for the PC? That would be Cool!

    Web II

    We have moved in the direction of interaction on the Internet. I looked at a company yesterday that does ‘data mining’ and will analyse data from forums and surveys to see what we the consumers think. They are going to do more than that though, they are going to do it in a lot of different languages and that includes trying to get the 800,000,000 Chinese internet users to do surveys and see what they think. Of course a lot of Web II is about using cookies to spy on us and gearing websites to display products and advertising personalised to us and even search results are personalised. I type a word into Google and it searches the UK Internet and Chinese unless I specify differently. It also ‘remembers’ using a cookie what I have searched for before.

    I have gone into the past a little and I have written about web II. Now we have faster processors and memory and higher bus speeds; what’s next? The CPU is now dual core or even quad core and they won’t get them much faster. The next step will be to speed up games like Farmville and Flash graphics generally; this means better a GPU, better Graphics processor units will go into your next PC. The whole idea of a PC could change and it could become a portal to a super computer rather than a computer in itself. I would personally like games that ran locally with tight coding so they were fast but with data swapping with a central super computer so we could play online and have fast interactive games. This would, of course, be much better then all the Zynga games put together. Web III could put an end to Zynga and it could put an end to Facebook as users deserted in droves to a better interactive platform. What would a Web III be like? What would be the killer idea that would blow Facebook out of the water? We also have to consider whether a new concept could endanger LinkedIn. Facebook is certainly in danger of a new site stealing all it’s users; LinkedIn is safer but they have to adapt because to not adapt will mean extinction.

    If I get enough requests I’ll write about the future and Web III again and maybe even Web IIII!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
70. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 20, 2010

    Saturday, 20 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    Yesterday’s post apparently won’t be too popular, maybe because I said Facebook could go the way of MySpace? I put so much into a post it’s hard to tell; it could be the stuff about the gerund! I still think that word sounds German but I think it’s derived from the Latin; don’t bother looking it up, I don’t really need to know.

    I shall mention Facebook because I have a friend on there who that runs a car spares business and buys and sells cars a little. His business is on the other side of the town where I live . He mainly specialises in Ford cars and he does spares for Fords and buys and sells them a little. I think he breaks late model cars for the spare parts. He drinks in a pub where the beer is cheap so he is either frugal or not doing so well. He has moved premises and into bigger premises despite the recession, so he is probably frugal! He sells through EBay sometimes and complains that it isn’t a good way to sell cars, people mess him about apparently. How do I know all this? He posts it on Facebook, he doesn’t have a business page or Fan page or anything but does post funny pictures, comment on what is going on locally and takes an interest in the fan page for the town. I think that is good social networking for his business.

    On the same subject but different! Many psychologists are interested in social networking and I think they could have some kind of influence over it. Psychologists usually look at thinking, behaviour and beliefs and normally look at individuals. They are now looking more at ‘collective psychology’ the psychology of groups of people and even whole cultures. Do people who belong to certain social networks have something in common? My friend said people on LinkedIn were full of their own importance. That is true in some cases but I find them to be quite open although some are so full of it they are funny. I don’t mind that, it amuses me. Some of the writers think they are great and while I think you should be confident and positive I don’t think you should come across as arrogant. I think I come across as assertive and fairly confident but I joke about everything and those quizzes on Facebook where people answer questions about me always say I am funny so I get something right. I do realise that my writing constantly improves and I tell other writers that if their writing is improving, that is good. If they think their writing is so good that it can’t improve, that is arrogant and they have no chance of ever being a great writer. You do need to be subtle on Facebook and not try to sell yourself or your business too much. You also need to help other people. I have a project now to help someone with a business. They have a new idea for a product for children. It is a good idea and they need a big company to support the idea. It is difficult getting all the details using email rather than a discussion in person, but they are thousands of miles away. Perhaps I can point them in the right direction or even just endorse the product as a good idea and be positive; every little helps.

    Most of the news I have read this morning was about fake anti-virus software that is really a virus. People are getting phone calls from someone pretending to be from ‘Microsoft’. One virus is the ‘Smitfraud’ virus. You can get a program to clean that but it is difficult to use and I had that a few years ago, I got angry as I looked into the companies behind it. There were about 5 US companies and one in Cyprus. Most of this stuff is run from Russia, but in my case I went after the company in Cyprus and reported the US companies to the FBI. The US companies became very helpful when I had an FBI crime number. Other scams to watch out for are identity fraud. Don’t store password for Internet banking or anything important on your computer and don’t open attachments on emails. You may get companies trying to sell you identity fraud insurance over the phone; I had that this week. I think that is a legalised scam trading on people’s fears. The fake anti-virus scam works the same but is illegal.

    I want to do interactive fiction again because I can take the humour as far as possible, and if I go too far my readers will tell me. I can then just push it a little more each time and see what is acceptable to them and what isn’t. This is using ‘collective psychology’ and seeing what is interesting, funny and acceptable.

    I have noticed Einstein lookalikes are being used in advertising to associate products with intelligence; it’s quite clever! 🙂 One advert though is a picture of a guy in the rain and he looks just like Hitler, but soaking wet; I don’t think that was done purposely. This has been done before with a James Bond lookalike. The idea potential for more advertising; just think what an ‘invisible man’ man lookalike could do?

    I have been trying to think of amusing Tweets and I need a format. I thought maybe rhetorical questions? For example: “If Earth was invaded by aliens, what colour would the little green men be?” I know, it said “Could do better,” on one of my school reports.

    Finally, if you have a huge problem or lots of work and it’s all too much; then simply break it down into bite-sized chunks and don’t bite off more than you can chew. I have too much to do. I intend to clean the kitchen floor because my friend offered to do it; so it must be bad. I’ll cook lunch and read a little of the novel I’m reviewing. Everything else can wait. I have word recall problems again, what is that word that means you keep putting things off? Whatever it is, putting things off can be a good thing; it is time management if you prioritise things. My priority is cleaning the kitchen floor, websites can wait. I don’t like today’s post either; it can’t be good every day! That is a problem, normally when the words don’t flow I take a break. Writing this every day means I just keep on going regardless. I need to vary what I write more. I’ll finish reviewing this novel and get back to writing my psychological thriller.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 21, 2010

       Brilliant!
       re-posted here: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/10/hint-mike-eccentric-british-blogger/

       Reply
71. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 21, 2010

    Sunday, 21 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    Sunday rambling…

    I often answer questions on LinkedIn and they award me ‘expert’ status. It is strange however that I never get questions on the dreamless ones. I am an expert on the behaviour of the dreamless ones. They are of course the stupid people whose ancestors bred with the Neanderthals. They dream less than us and some don’t dream at all; hence the term dreamless. You may remember that I discovered that some dreamless ones have really good memories, maybe even a photographic memory. I exposed a couple of professors at my local university who wrote a paper as dreamless. They wrote a paper on leadership and management; it was dreamless. I read another paper on leadership and management yesterday and again this guy teaches at a university. I made an amazing discovery, he is not dreamless; he knows what he is talking about! This guy is good!

    How to avoid getting hit by a train…

    This teacher explains how to avoid getting hit by a train. It is of course an analogy for how to react to a crisis. I was thinking about this earlier this week when my friend told me he was going for more cognitive behaviour therapy. He mentioned that in the group was a young woman who suffers from urticaria ; it causes dermal oedema, fluid builds up under the skin. This is dangerous and life-threatening. The way to avoid getting hit by a train is of course to stay off the tracks, but what if you can’t? You work on the tracks, for example. This young lady has frequent crisis situations where she is out of control — her face and neck swelling. It can stop her breathing so she has to get to hospital fast and get an adrenaline injection. The dreamless one who is an ‘expert’ told the young lady that she was getting nervous because of thinking errors. This is from a guy who has just driven down the most dangerous motorway in England thinking positive. If you want to avoid getting hit by a train according to the dreamless ones you walk down the track, hands in pockets and think positive.

    I had different ideas about urticaria, it can be triggered by anxiety and stress but it is also triggered by scratching, food colours, heat and a long list of things. I made a list and gave her the list of things to avoid. I would have also had her carrying adrenaline if I had been responsible for her treatment. She was in a small psychiatric hospital, lots of nurses but no adrenaline. One thing she could have done to avoid getting hit by a train, or avoid a crisis would have been to give up her job in a hot kitchen; her dreamless doctor didn’t think of that one and nor did anyone else.

    So how do you avoid a crisis; how do you avoid getting hit by a train? The ‘expert’ teacher whose paper I read teaches flying; he is a general in the USAF. Do you remember the movie Top Gun when Maverick goes into a spin and ejects. This guy teaches that stuff and there is little room for error, he is dealing with multi million dollar aircraft and pilots lives. You do not think positive when you are in a spin and crashing to earth. You prepare and you learn and you pay attention to sod’s law, because if it can happen – it probably will. The general says look for the negatives and prepare for them; sensible advice and not dreamless at all. If you are driving down the most dangerous motorway in England be aware that it is the most dangerous motorway in England and drive accordingly. The term there are those that do and those that teach is often true, but not in the case of this general, because he does do and teach from experience.

    I was negative when I pointed out all the triggers for urticaria but two years on and that young lady still doesn’t have a life and is still having CBT. When I met her it was an anxiety group, now she is attending an assertiveness group; I hope she becomes assertive enough to tell the dreamless ones on over $100 an hour where to go. One experienced nurse was asked what the difference was between her and a consultant nurse with his own company selling the CBT idea; before she could answer I replied about 10,000 a year! The dreamless one is in it for the high consultancy fee while an experienced nurse takes a supporting role.

    I wrote a speech for one of my Chinese students. I don’t talk much about them and my brother was quite surprised to hear her talking to me from a China yesterday! She heard him but didn’t understand a word! The speech was good, she is in the final; that will be an impromptu speech; we can’t prepare. It could be a crisis; it could be like a train coming! How do we prepare? If the teacher is any good; we can assume the subject will have something to do with the future of the student, but I suspect the teacher could be a dreamless one. The worst case scenario is the student gets nervous, which is the whole idea of the impromptu speech and then they mess it up. She is less likely to get nervous if we prepare the best we can. There is also another assignment to do and keeping busy will help with nerves. I suspect the whole event could be nervewracking for the students but not the dreamless teacher. It could help to imagine the teacher stark naked I suppose. I certainly need to build the confidence of my student so she can cope with the sudden advance of a speeding train…It only takes a fraction of a second to take a couple of steps and get out of the way of a speeding train; it’s easy if you stay calm. It is not so easy to stay calm; you have to decide that in advance. Incidentally, my student friend managed to get a part time job as a result of the speech; interpreting in China is one of the highest paid jobs. It pays more than in England. A waitress earns 3 Yuan a hour; an interpreter 1,000 Yuan an hour. Even as a student she will probably make 30 Yuan an hour. She also gets to practice her English.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 21, 2010

       I remember walking down train tracks inside a tunnel where you really had no room to get off if the train decided to come just then. Oh, hmmmm, that was the opposite of how to avoid getting killed by a train wasn’t it? Once was enough. Same thing as driving under the influence . . . hmmmm, don’t do stupid things and you are likely to have fewer crises.
       Hmmmmm

       Reply
72. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 22, 2010

    Monday, 22 November 2010, Sierra Oscar it is me…

    Hypnosis, collective psychology and social networking

    It is difficult to explain how hypnosis works in a blog but I can at least explain the basics and how it can be useful to understand it in the context of collective psychology and social networking. You may already know that blind people have more sensitive hearing as a result because their other senses become more sensitive to compensate for their loss of sight. People close their eyes when they kiss to block out the sense of sight and make the sense of touch more sensual! People are more sensitive in a darkened room only lit by candle light or the flames of a log fire and that is considered romantic. People make love in a dark room for the same reason. You can of course try putting a brown paper bag over your lover’s head to enhance this effect. Please don’t use plastic; the heavy breathing is quite sexy but it can be dangerous. I also had problems with a brown paper bag; I could still remember what she looked like!
    🙂
    Anyway, to do hypnotherapy, a darkened room and a comfortable chair or couch is a good idea. If the subject is still and can’t see or feel very much, then their hearing will be much more sensitive. They will hear the slightest change in the therapist’s voice, and so it’s important for the therapist to be relaxed and in giving the suggestions must be very honest. The subject will detect lies very easily as the vocal chords tense up with the anxiety. The therapist has to be careful what he or she says. If you have watched the Mentalist on television, they say he hypnotises people when he is just talking to them. Is this possible? In a way it is because what the therapist does is not tell the subject what to do or believe; they suggest things. It is the difference between a boss giving orders or suggesting to employees what they should do; the latter is done in a relaxed way and is more acceptable. The suggestions have to be acceptable and better still desirable. This can lead to problems. It is fine to help someone believe that he can be more confident if he lacks confidence; but what if he has homicidal tendencies? You don’t have to hypnotise to suggest that people can be more confident and in turn make them more confident. If you suggest it in an honest way and you believe what you are saying, then the suggestion is more likely to work.

    Now how do you suggest things online? How do you suggest things to a large number of people? Let us look at the car salesman who shouts at us from the television. “Come on down,” he shouts, “and I’ll do you a great deal; I’m honest Fred!” We tend to think we have heard it all before. The psychological device of repetition may work, particularly on people who are as honest as ‘honest Fred’ who would take you to the cleaners for a quid. So influencing people means relaxing and being honest, certainly don’t shout like those awful salesmen. It means gentle suggestions and they should be an after thought sometimes. ‘You may like this car, isn’t it a nice colour?’ There are two suggestions in that sentence and the second one is the effective suggestion. They tend to think, ‘yes, it is a nice colour’ then they think ‘yes, I do like that.’

    To use a cliché, ‘honesty is the best policy’. If you say ‘can I help you,’ have the intention of helping them and not yourself. This is of course offline suggestion and they can’t hear you online if you are blogging or tweeting. Then it gets harder and you have to be repetitive without being boring. You have to be consistent and a good liar needs a good memory and so it’s better to be honest.

    Never use upper case it’s considered SHOUTING! The car salesman shouts to cover his dishonesty. If you are writing a blog. then it should be clear and it should flow with a natural flow. It should read like a relaxed conversation. You shouldn’t attempt to tell the reader anything but suggest things; perhaps changes in what they believe. They may have fixed views about social networking and you want to sell them on the idea of a fan page on Facebook. Don’t try to sell the idea; suggest it is worth considering and then try to add weight to your idea.

    You may be able to add weight to your idea by giving an example. Her Majesty, the Queen of the United Kingdom and Commonwealth started a Fan Page last week; is that weighty enough? The same applies. of course, to LinkedIn profiles with one of the most visited profiles being the very weighty one of the President of the United States. I read the other day that you should keep a blog concise and use bullets and numbering – that will kill the flow dead. That is also a mistake in a resume or CV which also needs honesty, integrity and a nice flow to the writing. I start CV’s with a short story, very short less than 100 words. I do the education, past experience and end with a short story. The ending is usually about interests that invariably include caring for the community and the environment. Being socially responsible is not only a good thing, it’s quite fashionable and if there is a band wagon going your way; why not hitch a ride?

    Remember not to try too hard; you will get tense and it will show when you speak and it may show in your writing. We tend to be less afraid when we are relaxed or relaxed when we are less afraid! We joke more when we are less afraid because it takes courage to joke about things. All jokes are at someone’s expense and can offend and so they are risky. Tweets will be more effective if they are funny and people will be more likely to click a short URL to your blog. This is a good way to get people to read your blogs!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 23, 2010

       One thing I took from all your suggestions is the need to relax and not get too uptight — especially if you want to convince someone of something, either online or off.

       Reply
73. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 23, 2010

    Tuesday, 23 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.

    I have been playing Farmville this morning and the pop-ups were really irritating because I was in a hurry. They have changed it again, and the market has new things to tempt people to buy FV cash. They also had a splash page saying we could exchange Facebook credit for FV cash (only if you buy Farmville cash.) That is dishonest and misleading and so ignored by me. I now have three friends buying Farmville cash and it is addictive. I won’t be joining them; I am just irritating them!

    I started a new co-op last night and did lots of posts so everyone knows about it. I also completed 8% of it very quickly so I may get people to join. I suspect many are losing interest or have alternative interests in Farmville. One of my artist friends has a useless farm, but it is very pretty!
    🙂

    LinkedIn is quiet: we have a conversation on there and it’s mostly about food. I will post some pictures of my stir fry on the Facebook page. That is a problem with LinkedIn; you have to hot link picture with the URL they don’t display like on a SMF forum.

    I have a new follower on Twitter and so I have made a little progress; I still have a long way to go. I have a great new mind reading trick, though, that I will enjoy doing as a party piece at Christmas.

    Hypnosis, psychology and social networking continued…

    If you read my previous post on this subject, I said the hypnotherapist needed to be honest. That isn’t quite true. He or she needs to be benevolent rather than malevolent. Lies are usually malevolent, but not always. The child who tells his parent about his invisible friend isn’t being honest but isn’t lying either, and so when he says he has been playing with his secret friend Charlie; he is being imaginative. Children believe what they say when they are playing and so can sound very honest. The same is true of adults, but honesty is still the best policy unless honesty would be malevolent. If someone is over-weight for example, it is impolite and malevolent to point it out.

    When you are communicating, you need to relax; and if you are being nasty and malevolent, this will be harder to achieve and probably impossible. I have said in previous posts that we can say to ourselves a 1,000 times, “I am more confident,” or “I look good,” and not believe it; but if someone else says “You look good today,” it immediately enhances our self esteem and we feel better and more confident. The hypnotherapist does the same thing but much more effectively when he is trying to rebuild someone’s self esteem. If you don’t believe you can lose weight, the hypnotherapist can help you believe in yourself and it will be easier to stick to a diet and exercise program. The same applies to conquering addictions like drugs and smoking. The hypnotherapist does need knowledge of addiction, though, and especially with drugs — will advise clients to reduce the drug slowly. The typical reduction accepted is a 10% cut in the dosage every two weeks. This reduction works for most drugs but can be difficult when you get down to the last pill in the case of benzodiazepines like Valium for example. Many people take 30 mg of Valium a day and a 3mg cut is easy but when you get down to below 10 mg a day cutting less than 1 mg isn’t easy and clients often cut more than 10% and this will result in withdrawal symptoms. The hypnotherapist can help negate the withdrawal by giving the client something else to think about other than the withdrawal symptoms which may seem overwhelming. Even on the last 2 mg of Valium a day clients can have problems cutting down and then many file 10% off a pill, take that and keep cutting slowly even though cutting the last 2 mg to nothing may take as long as 6 months.
    The love hormone
    Hypnotherapists can use the power of suggestion to help with many other problems and need to understand the way the mind works and also the other systems in the body. Suggestion can have a direct affect on the nervous system and reduce pain; it can have a indirect affect on the endocrine system and change the hormone levels When we are relaxed, we produce more oxytocin which is often call the ‘love hormone.’ We produce this when we are relaxed and when we are touched or cuddled. The opposite is the hormone cortisol and high levels of this are implicated in many problems. High cortisol levels also make us feel unwell and anxious and of course anxiety produces high cortisol levels and so it’s a vicious circle. In many people who suffer from anxiety, this results in the system going out of control and they experience ‘anxiety attacks’ or ‘panic attacks’ this is a serious and distressing problem that can be helped by hypnotherapy.

    You can help stop people becoming anxious using both traditional face-to-face networking skills and online social networking skills. The main skill to remember is to be nice, be diplomatic and be honest although not malevolently honest as in ‘that’s a fat butt, you must have eaten a few fries to get that.’

    Everything we say is suggestion, particularly in person; but also we suggest things with what we write. Just being repetitive makes the suggestion more effective; repetition is both a rhetorical device and a psychological device and used by preachers on a Sunday to instill beliefs and advertisers every day of the week to convince you that their bread is tastier and softer than the other guys. Remember that and be careful of what you say and write and put more thought in to it.

    Thinking can be a great exercise to improve yourself! Try it while eating your next meal and imagine your next conservation; practice being honest but diplomatic. Consider how to address people, what is proper but friendly. At one time in England, nearly everyone was addressed formally as mister, miss or missus, but that has made way for more informal communication and first names are used far more often. When you end a letter, end it with your first and possibly you last name, too, and sign it with your first and last name. It is more informal and informal is seen as friendly. It can be a little confusing if you only use your first name. I have two entries in the guest book of my website, and they both have a first name only; I have no idea who they are. I have a lot of friends online and offline and connections on Facebook, LinkedIn and other social networks; so just a first name doesn’t identify who left the message. I must admit I am guilty of leaving messages on answer phones that start with ‘it’s me.’ Just the way you address someone is important to establishing contact and the appropriate form of address is needed.

    My doctor addresses me informally and if I address him as ‘doctor’ it is more formal but informal would be inappropriate. Informal isn’t always a two-way street. There is etiquette offline, and there is also etiquette online, never SHOUT! Use a relaxed style of writing and even if you only write one line try to stay in touch with people who are important to you. I send virals out, jokes, pictures or videos to inform, entertain and amuse. I forwarded videos on a couple of days ago and many people enjoyed them; it gave me a reason to contact people and they were reminded I am still here if they need me.

    You should remember that everyone needs everyone else and so don’t ask what they can do for you; ask what you can do for them.

    In this blog, I am trying to inform based on my experience in psychology and to a certain extent hypnosis. Thinking changes a lot about psychology and hypnosis in particular. In recent years CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) has become popular and some hypnotherapists have used that in conjunction with hypnotherapy or used it to alter the suggestions they give. I haven’t discussed hypnotherapy for a long time and so missed most of these suggestions and being familiar with CBT generally and not a fan have my own thoughts about hypnotherapy and haven’t been affected by collective and trendy thinking.

    Always beware of trends. I remember a movie that was about a girl with multiple personalities and psychiatrists who watched it were influenced by the collective suggestions in the movie. They started seeing the symptoms of multiple persona in all their patients and the diagnosis of the problem in the USA soared in the months after the movie was released. You can be the subject of suggestion and although we don’t like to think we are easily led; we often are.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 24, 2010

       We need some medical practitioners to comment on this post!

       Reply
74. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 24, 2010

    Wednesday, 24 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    Blogging

    My last two blogs here were about hypnosis and psychology. I intended to do collective psychology today but have an assignment to edit for a Chinese student and so this one will be shorter. Most people blog if they want to make an impact in social networking. A writer read one of my blogs yesterday and commented ‘Mike can write’ which was probably a nice surprise for her. Someone else said it was ‘mesmerising.’ That was the blog I posted here 2 days ago. The one I posted on here yesterday will go on my personal blog tomorrow!

    Why am I changing when I post?

    There is method in my madness! People want quality blogs and good writing, and they want fresh information they can’t find else where. Everyone and their pet parrot is writing about social networking now, but who is writing about collective psychology in the context of social networking – me! 🙂

    People will be busy on Friday; I know I am and so I may give up this blog on a Friday, it makes sense. If I am busy and you are busy, I don’t have time to write and you don’t have time to read – why not take a day off? I will post to my personal blog tomorrow and I have it ready written, the stuff on hypnosis and psychology I wrote yesterday. I think Saturday may be a better day to post a blog and so an effective blog on collective psychology posted on Saturday morning may be effective and reach my audience. I don’t think my readers have time to read 1,000 words every day, and so I’ll consider carefully when to post to my own blog. This one is different because Shari picks out the stuff she likes and re-posts it; even so Friday may have to go!

    Blog length

    I think a blog should be between 500 words and 1,000. I tend to like enough words to say whatever I want to say and it comes easy. Yesterday was too long at close to 1,500 words, but the stuff that wasn’t on psychology will be cut and the rest will be posted in my blog. The quality I am happy with, and I now need feedback; so I will post to my blog on a Thursday and link it on Facebook, Tweet the link and maybe mention it on LinkedIn where I have people interested in psychology! I will then just have to hope I get comments. I think the lack of comments is because people are just too busy. It seems we are more into interaction on this side of the pond than the side with no frogs! 🙂

    Money

    I am saving the topic of money for a blog that will concentrate on enrichment and money. You can make money from a blog. My first post on hypnosis was read by a hypnotherapist. Some therapists charge $100 an hour and they need to do what is often called a script. This is a routine to take the client into a trance-like relaxed state. Some hypnotherapists buy a script written by a writer who understands hypnotherapy and can write, obviously. The writer also needs to understand rhetorical devices and psychological devices and be able to write a really effective script that is easy to memorise. It needs to be similar to the speeches I write for my Chinese students that they have to memorise. These scripts can be very expensive costing as much as $1 a word and so a 1,000 word script is a little expensive. Who do I know who could write them? 🙂

    It is of course coincidental that I have one or two hypnotherapists following my tweets and blogs. It can be helpful though to target your blog to specific audiences. I didn’t really think about food, but there is a new website devoted to food and a page on Facebook and they are linked to a group (thread) on LinkedIn. They want my recipe for Chinese stir fry and have figured out how to get better photographs. My last photo was a little blurred but my Chinese friends are very interested in my cooking. I think they are hoping I will get really interested in Chinese cooking and buy a wok! They intend to study at the university near my home, and so have offered to cook me Chinese food. I suppose they think if I eat Chinese food this could be easier! I can of course make use of this in my blogs. I can write about Chinese stir fry and give the recipe and tips like getting your wok hot enough. I think if we have knowledge of anything we can blog about it!

    800 words… that is enough for a Wednesday! 🙂

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 25, 2010

       OK, Mike. I’m up to the “challenge”!!
       I’m publishing this as another separate post with the Reader Challenge to get you to write on Friday . . . and I’ll Tweet and Facebook it, too!!

       Reply
75. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 25, 2010

    Thursday, 25 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    I just started with the date and realised it’s my brother’s birthday. I think he has gone to the south of England where his children live for a celebration. He is 75 today; doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? The weather has gone a little cold — there is still ice on my car; I think it’s about 4 C outside. My brother will probably go on a cruise somewhere warm.

    Hypnosis

    If you are thinking about getting hypnotherapy for some problem, ask around and get one that is recommended; all hypnotherapists aren’t equal. I saw one online who was quite expensive; previously he was a stage hypnotist and did all kinds of spooky stuff. People who have used tricks to fool people [ i.e., that they have special powers or use photographs that show them with piercing eyes and stuff] are to be avoided. I know I have weird eyes, the eye surgeon told me; I can’t bloody help it!

    I said the hypnotherapist usually has a darkened room, and it should be quiet. When I was a child, we would get too much light in the classroom in the morning and not enough in the afternoon as the sun moved to the west. It made it better for the hour of hypnotherapy! The teacher would use a cue to bring order to the chaos of the classroom and say, “Is everyone sitting comfortably?” This was our cue to sit still and then she would say, “then I will begin,” we would all go into a trance then and listen. Yes, it was story time, and that was the prime motivation for me wanting to read my own stories and eventually write them.

    Drug withdrawal

    I gave advice in a previous blog about how to cope with drug withdrawal. This is a serious issue because it isn’t just benzodiazepines that are a problem and the whole range of opioid drugs like Methyl morphine (codeine) but illegal drugs and alcohol too. You should, of course, take medical advice and see your doctor for advice before trying to withdraw from any drug; try to choose a day when he is sober — alcohol is something of a problem in the medical profession.

    I have also given advice on Farmville and again professional advice should be sought if you are getting addicted to Farmville and likely to murder any close relatives. The main sign to look out for is buying Farmville cash. If you have spent $100 on Farmville cash, then I would definitely seek a psychiatric opinion. If you are getting confused between FV cash, FV coins and real money – see a psychiatrist. Trying to pay for your weekly shopping in a supermarket with FV cash is a sign that you have a serious problem developing – see a psychiatrist…

    I have finished reading the novel I promised to review. I now have to write the review and not seem too harsh. I started writing my psychological thriller again. It’s so raunchy that steam comes of my laptop when I open the file. The little story I blogged about Keira Knightley stripping in the park wasn’t raunchy, but it did conjure up an image. That was probably why Shari censored it; we don’t want the guys getting too excited. Did you see her in that movie Domino? She was hot in that movie; it was a little like the novel I have to review. There were good parts in the movie, like when Keira strips off for that guy with the tattoos… Does that make up for a really crap story though? Uninspiring… That would be a better word to describe this novel; better than crap anyway.

    The main problem with the novel is punctuation. This brings me nicely on to the subject of punctuation and comedy. Comedy timing in the written word relies on; punctuation! A comma will not replace the pause required by a semi colon. I have forgotten what those three little dots are called… Whatever, they have a name and two little dots and four little dots don’t have a name so I use three little dots; always. You can kill a funny line dead if you miss the joke and edit out a semi colon! Read this stuff carefully, you never know the semis could have been edited out…

    Repetition is a well known psychological and rhetorical device, I start my blog with Sierra Oscar which will confuse people if they only read one blog. If you are a regular reader you know it is a password. If the blog starts with Sierra Oscar you know it’s me and not my clone that lives in the basement of the local hospital. The idea was that he would be available should I need a transplant. My spell and grammar checker just changed who to that; it thinks my clone is that! My clone may be a clone but he is still a person and not a number. I saw this earlier on a caption for a national geographic photograph. It was a good photograph but the caption described a disabled boy as that; not a person. Beware of Freudian mistakes in your writing if you are trying to blog.

    I actually like challenges; people ask a question and I write about it. It is inspiration and so I will offer to do a Chinese horoscope for at least one lucky person. I need the date of birth, place of birth, time of birth helps but not important; current location (no need to be exact – if you’re using the bathroom; I don’t want to know) and you can ask a couple of questions about your future.

    Social Networking

    A few friends on LinkedIn are regulars in Café Niente; Niente meaning ‘nothing’ and people come in to talk about ‘nothing’ and usually end up talking about something and the something tends to be food and drink. These conversations and Niente have inspired a website that we are contributing to; I will probably contribute my stir fry recipe complete with photograph of the finished culinary delight. I need to get bean sprouts first and maybe get more practice; I’m not sure exactly how much tomato purée to use. I’m not using anything like onions or peppers either, they will stimulate my pancreas. Doesn’t the spell checker get on your nerves? One minute it doesn’t recognise purée and the next it does; after I have struggled to get the accent! Anyway the new website is here:

    http://www.nothingcooking.com/

    Nothing cooking at Niente also has a Fanpage on Facebook. I’m over a 1,000 words now. I can go to Café Niente for a bite to eat and large single malt; drinking in the morning is not only allowed but encouraged. We are hoping to get the medical profession to patronise the establishment.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 25, 2010

       Love today’s entry.
       Let me count some of the reasons:
       1) you’re funny and insightful at exactly the same time
       2) you have lots of life experience to draw from
       3) your life is filled with varied — and interesting — experiences
       4) your writing shows that you listen very carefully to people and you care about them — one really goes with the other here
       5) your creative spirit just keeps coming up with this stuff

       BTW, what do you guys do while we here in the US are eating Turkey?
       Ah, Ha — I have arrived at a question you may feel “obligated” to answer on the Friday you threatened not to write??

       PS Commas and semi-colons are different stops; in the US grammar system, using a comma instead of a semicolon is a “comma splice” and leads to a Run-on Sentence. [In my “free time” I teach English at a local community college 🙂 ]

       Reply
76. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 26, 2010

    Friday, 26 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    I was awake early this morning, it was cold; it was very cold. If it’s that cold, my heating cuts in and the whole house comes alive with creaking pipes and the sound of pumps pumping the water around. Then the house gets a little warmer, and the fridge and the freezer cut in to add to the cacophony.

    I went back to sleep eventually and woke again when my neighbour started his van. It’s a noisy diesel thing and he runs it for five or ten minutes to warm it up. I crawled out and headed for the bathroom, and there was a red van parked outside. It was a Royal Mail van; I remembered his wife worked for the Royal Mail. I usually accept a lot of parcels for them at this time of year as they spend their money on Christmas pressies. They will cut down this year, she is preggers…

    I just went out and talked to my window cleaner; it is cold and he said it’s forecast to be even colder tonight. The south of England has snow; my Chinese horoscope said this would be an uninspiring phase in my life.

    I was researching Chinese horoscopes in bed last night; the film was uninspiring. I like the word uninspiring; it is so much more eloquent that crap. Anyway, I discovered that Shari’s birthstone is a diamond. There is a new diamond being launched in January; this could be an opportunity. Diamonds usually come from a core going into the earth’s mantel, but people are making diamonds now using machines. Coloured diamonds are the most expensive because they are not pure carbon, but enhanced with an oxide or something. The artificial diamonds made in Florida have a ferrous oxide to give them a nice amber colour and are a fraction of the price of the natural diamonds.

    They now hope to launch a new diamond that is the colour of the rarest of diamonds; pink. Do you remember the film The Pink Panther? The Pink Panther was a flaw in a diamond. The company got the technology a few years ago from Russia, and it’s called Gemesis. I think it’s interesting because diamonds are semi-conductors and could be used in the future to make better computers. A lot of research is being done into MOSFET’s they are Metal Oxide Silicon Field Effect Transistors and the metal oxide is very similar to the ferrous oxide in those diamonds that give them an amber colour. This is interesting, probably useless but interesting…

    I just had a phone call from India about my computer running slow. I had one the other day that was about the thousands of viruses infecting it. They want to go to some website so they can ‘help’ me! I listen carefully, get the name of the website and keep them on the line and really annoy them for a while.

    “Your computer is running slow? Right?”
    Me: “No it’s brand new running Windows 7 and runs really fast,”
    “Can you open Internet Explorer?”
    Me: “No, I run Chrome its much faster,”
    “Er’ ”
    Me: “It’s a browser.”
    “Have you got the website now?”
    Me: “What website?”
    Me to window cleaner, “Thanks,”
    “Are you still there?”
    “Yes, still here, computer even faster now…”
    “Er…”

    Hang up. ‘Sod him, my tea’s getting cold.’

    The question is how did the dreamless one in India get my phone number that is unlisted and my name? The fact that my Telecom Company and broadband company has a call centre in bloody Bangalore is a coincidence. Right?

    I have to write my review of that novel I have been reading later, the uninspiring one. I shall continue writing my psychological thriller ‘Abduction’. Becky is about to take yet another shower ordered by her abductor and abuser. He apparently gets turned on by ordering her to take a shower, and she certainly gets turned on by it. I was awake early this morning and lay there thinking up new words to the song twinkle, twinkle little star. I thought with some naughty words this would be a good song for Becky to sing in the shower. I got the idea when I remembered talking to my Chinese student friend using VOIP and her roommate was singing in the background. It was twinkle, twinkle little star in Chinese; there could have been naughty words – how would I know? I have forgotten the second line of that song; that will bug me all day now!

    I wonder why people have several profiles on LinkedIn. They also have several on Facebook. I added someone with an exotic name, and he also has an English sounding name and the latter is more popular. I read a lot about experts on social media. I read about one this morning and she has a profile on all the social networks but isn’t very successful. The email I received was sent using a spam list and is for a clothing company and their jeans start at around $100 and go to around $300; for that price I want to see pictures of models wearing them. What do I see, pictures of the lower half of a model wearing them and they don’t fit. They are at least 4 inches too long; they can’t be bothered to hire a seamstress to alter them. They can’t be bothered because they are dreamless; I’m not dreamless and so I’m not buying…

    That Cambridge graduate was at it again this morning telling us to give up our Starbucks coffees to save for Christmas… Dreamless…

    It’s Friday, everyone is too busy to read this and so 950 words will be enough…

    One of my students just signed in; you would be amazed at how little work went into this blog…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 26, 2010

       No,
       not amazed how “little work” went into the blog
       🙂
       But that’s a good thing. You have the knack/ability to sit down at your computer and “tell it like it is” in a free-flowing and interesting fashion — and you manage to pepper the content with insight. I was thinking how this entire blog is definitely the “rough draft” for several novels.
       And, of course, you are entertaining me no end.
       🙂
       Have a great weekend . . . and stay warm.
       BTW, you mention that you wondered why people have several social media profiles on the same sites . . . Lots of people have no clue what they are doing.
       🙁

       Reply
77. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 27, 2010

    Saturday, 27 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    I just had an email about a virus that infects your computer if you click a link in an email that apparently comes from a friend and the link is to a Hallmark greetings card. You have been warned… The email made me smile there was a cc to someone named Charmaine McGlue; isn’t Charmaine a weird name?

    That was sent by a history student who was doing an assignment on scientific misconception; I have no idea what that has to do with history either. I was going to offer to help, but I haven’t had time and it had to be in by last Monday or something. People have scientific misconceptions about snow and ask questions like “Why did God give us such bloody awful stuff?” It was of course to stabilise temperatures. When water freezes it gives out heat; if you don’t believe me try melting an ice cube – it takes heat. If I open the door to my kitchen, air will rush outside because the air in my home is warmer than the cold air outside and so much thinner. My house is already losing enough warm air so I won’t try it. The boiler cuts in to try to stabilise the temperature in my house around room temperature 65F or thereabouts. Water freezes at 0C because if it froze at a lower temperature we would all freeze to death. It was bad enough last night when it went well below freezing.

    Fortunately, lots of water froze giving us a light sprinkling of snow and stabilised temperatures close to freezing. What happens if there is no water or it has all frozen? Then it gets bloody cold and the sea will freeze at 0F. In places like Siberia and the North Pole, it gets bloody cold because there is no fresh water to freeze. The ice caps are fresh water and they are melting; this is serious, it means the average temperature of the earth has increased. This is bringing unstable weather and eventually we will get more flooding. We can’t fix the melting ice caps once that fresh water has mixed with salt water, the freezing point is much lower and that makes it impossible to re-freeze it.

    I’m glad I don’t have children or grandchildren; we are leaving them a world in an even bigger mess than we can imagine. There are new chemicals that can change the freezing point of water, ice plus and ice minus. The former raises the freezing point and latter lowers it. This is useful if the dreamless ones want to go skiing and there is no snow. We can make snow for them using ice plus and you know what they say; there is no business like snow business.

    I usually offer people free snow around this time of year — right after I do my four legged turkey joke. I did that this week. It was Thanksgiving on the other side of the pond and so as has become the tradition, I told them about English four legged turkeys. “What they taste like?”
    “We dunno, we ain’t caught one yet!” 🙂

    I am glad I didn’t mention the turkey mogul Bernard Matthews who died on Thursday, aged 80. It is always the same: things start to go right for you and something happens to spoil it.

    You may remember that I wrote about hypnosis, psychology, suggestion and stuff like that. I did some research lying in bed last night; the reason for this was the film – it was Alien versus Predator; I was not inspired. I went to the website of a famous magazine and they have guest bloggers. I know something about this! I was asked about guest blogging the other day and I will consider it. This magazine however pays real money to guest bloggers; this could be useful. I can’t offer my services. I have to use a psychological device; I must suggest it. I also need to write an email and sample blog. Who shall I send the email to? The editor of the International company? I can’t; I keep getting diverted to the UK website. I have found email addresses and they are in the form of first name, dot, surname and I have the name of the UK editor!

    I also have some other information. My friend went to Paris and I looked at photos of the event online, it was quite dreamless. The editor who I am targeting tried to outdo other editors, particularly the editor of the French magazine and look sophisticated in a dress that came down to her feet and hid nothing because it was see through. She is a dreamless one. My email must be funny and flattering and use every psychological device I know and one or two more. I don’t think I’ll mention that dress… The object of my suggestions will be to get her to read the blog attached to the email. What can I write about? We are talking serious tax free money here. I shall do more research and read the other blogs. This magazine is all about style, fashion, dreamless things. I’ll continue with my 500 to 1,000 words idea and I need to make it weighted. I need to name drop a little. I don’t really like famous people. Did you know that many so called celebrities are taking classes and education is suddenly important to them? Being a student is the latest fashion. I know a socialite who is a sort of aristocrat and I follow her on Twitter. She is a student, a model and a socialite. She goes on about Gucci stuff and where she is going on one of her social evenings that don’t appear to happen much. Occasionally she will mention a photo shoot or a university assignment she is struggling with. Did you know Keira Knightly is on Twitter twice? Celebrities don’t really interest me but I do try to help students, aristocratic ones into Gucci or Chinese ones into noodles and rice; it matters not to me.

    Saved by the word count again… 🙂

    I’ll be back… 🙂

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 27, 2010

       I suspect you might take one of your many topics — and concentrate on it.
       Choose the one that the celebrities want to read about; then you can get them . . . and their myriad of followers, all to follow you.

       Remember: share the wealth
       🙂

       Reply
78. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 28, 2010

    Sunday, 28 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    This is past a joke. The temperature dropped to -9C over night. I think it’s about -3 now and ice covers the cars. I’m paying extra for energy this month while I change from one contract to another and back again! I shall be better off in the long term but will pay extra for this month if it doesn’t warm up; that is sod’s law and couldn’t have come at a worse time.

    Some years ago I would go out for a walk if I couldn’t think and needed to be uninterrupted for a while. I walked across the school field, around the nature reserve, and if I was particularly energetic continue on to the cemetery. There is always some body interesting in the cemetery. I was walking back one day along a path between the gravestones when a bird attacked me! He kept swooping down at me and flying from one tree to another all along the path. I had to walk across an open field and that would possibly make the attacks worse. The bird was a rook or raven; whatever you call them. Then it got really spooky as I walked across the field and it came flying towards me again. It was frightened away by a lot of doves that suddenly flew out from a garden at the side of the cemetery. It was a little weird getting attacked by a raven and saved by white doves… I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago when I was going to my car and heard a raven attacking a cat. The cat was being stupid and lay on its back and let the attack happen; then as soon as I went to intervene, the cat turned on the raven and flew away. It was still weird. Then yesterday the same raven that appears to hang around now attacked the squirrel; unsuccessfully, but it’s still weird.

    Its 10:30 on a Sunday morning and my student friend in China is accepting files I send but is spookily quiet; I think I’m only getting a few of her messages. She may be studying; it’s still spooky. The sun is shining; it’s bloody freezing, worse, below freezing and I can see the moon. That is spookily weird seeing the moon in the middle of the morning. The birds are making that noise they make to raise the alarm; I see why now: there is a hawk circling. I think it could be a sparrow hawk and all the smaller birds have disappeared except for a lone magpie with a death wish…

    If you are trying to write a blog and can’t think of anything to write just look out of the window like you did at school. I have photographed the hawk now and the squirrel; she was lurking at the bottom of the apple tree. The moon has disappeared…

    I researched that magazine last night that I may blog for. I’m not sure if their bloggers are getting paid now, but just getting published in that magazine would add kudos to my image. If you want to write for a well know international magazine; buy a copy and study it well. I went through the website and all their content is dreamless. They need something in the same genre but far more interesting and acceptable to their advertisers that includes names like Cartier. My main problem is writing a seductively intriguing email to get the editor to publish my blog. The problem needs further thought. I will probably only get one shot at this, but it’s worth taking a shot. I shall phone a friend. I need inspiration and I only know one person who has been a Parisian model. I knew she would come in useful one day…

    They Photoshop the photographs too much now; it’s bad enough that the models are anorexic. My friend had that problem, not eating enough, and working a 12-hour day on a photo shoot made her ill. The doctor made her rest after the hotel sent for the doctor rather than risk getting sued when she got sick. She isn’t anorexic enough for modelling now but doesn’t exactly need the money. She will know this magazine and will have some ideas, I don’t keep up with what celebrities are up to or the latest fashions; although mini skirts and dresses seem to be popular. It’s probably the weather, -9C and they wear minis! I miss seeing young ladies park mini cars and try to get out wearing very short mini skirts; my memories of a misspent youth still linger…

    I need to put stuff into my up market blog like the latest information on those synthetic pink diamonds. I’ll lose the word synthetic, man made sounds better. They are still discussing fur, to wear or not to wear, real fur? I don’t like cruelty to animals but a well run fur farm is better than a badly run polyester plant next door to your home.

    If I put my head in the microwave for 5 minutes and warm my brain up; would it improve my writing? I’m cooking Chinese later; it is better to use pre-cooked boiled rice for the stir fry and use a very hot wok. I have to use a pan; I still haven’t bought a wok. I have to take photographs now I have found the macro for close up photographs. I want to go to the Victorian sweet shop but I doubt if it will warm up enough by this afternoon. I may need drastic action to thaw my car enough to drive it. I should have got de-icer; I have an ice scraper. I had de-icer and no scraper last winter, it is hard to remember all the stuff you need before the big freeze comes. The energy companies are under investigation by the regulator for price fixing. They have doubled their gross profits in just over a month. I am using serious amounts of gas keeping warm and I hate to think what it is costing. When it gets below freezing it isn’t healthy and the cold gets into muscles, bones and the air is too cold to breathe for a long time.

    My brother was a truck driver; he got pleurisy after going into a sub zero warehouse. He had to go to hospital, they saw him quickly though. If you want to be seen quickly in ER, park a 40 ton truck outside…

    Saved by the word count…

    I’ll be back – miserable Monday tomorrow.

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 28, 2010

       When I read your spooky story, I remembered the time my sister and I were walking home from elementary school. A block away from school was a ravine with lots of vegetation around it [that area later became a funeral home]. As Connie and I walked on the sidewalk past the area, suddenly a vagrant seemed to rise from the brush and started towards us saying “Give me my money back!”

       Connie and I ran and ran like we’d never run before. We rounded up the neighborhood boys and all went back to the field, but our bum was gone. THANK HEAVENS!!

       Reply
79. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 29, 2010

    Monday, 29 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back

    How to write a blog

    Think of your readers.

    Most people just want to be Happy. My friend said he would be Happy if he was taller. I said, “Take those high heels off Dopey you look ridiculous…”

    Fact can be stranger than fiction, read the news…
    
    A German pensioner who wanted to seal off the entrance to his cellar ended up bricking himself into it, a police spokesman told Reuters on Thursday.
    The senior citizen from Jena told police he only became aware of the mistake once his handiwork was complete, which police described as “pretty stupid” in a statement.
    After camping out in the cellar for several days he resolved to free himself by knocking down a wall, but chose to demolish his neighbour’s wall rather than the one he had just put up.

    The man had been at loggerheads with his neighbours for some time and they informed the police when they heard drilling noises. The police were waiting for the pensioner when he made his great escape and have now launched an enquiry.

    That’s like when I mop the kitchen floor; I end up in the corner looking at a wet floor and trying not to walk on it.

    Word association

    Play a little word association like the trick cyclists do; start with one word and then add more word that are associated until you have a load of key-words:

    
    Happy, dwarfs, money, sunshine, holidays, Christmas, turkey, melatonin, clouds, winter, summer, photography, stir fry, Chinese students

    That will probably be enough…
    Everyone wants to be Happy, but it is not always possible; there can only be one Happy; ask Snow White. I always think about dwarfs when I think about Ohio; I wonder why? We would all be happier if we had more money of course we could buy nice Christmas pressies for our friends and families. We are short of sunshine now and it’s affecting our melatonin levels and we are getting SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder). It has warmed up today, it’s cloudy, which means less sunshine and more SAD but at least the clouds keep the heat in; every cloud has a silver lining. We have turkey at Christmas; the people over the pond have it at thanksgiving, and they are enjoying left over turkey heated up in gravy and served with spaghetti. Or they eat it cold with cranberry sauce.

    I get out more in summer and take photographs but winter colours are muted and can be better. The trick is to bring the colours out using some computer software and then the yellows, oranges and reds of winter are more striking. Today, I could get some interesting pictures with the trees covered in ice like frosting on a cake. They look quite Christmassy in a depressing way. I do take some photographs indoors and this weekend it was stir fry that got the photographic coverage. Again the colours looked a little muted, so I made the carrots orange with a computer program and my stir fry looked just like it does in a magazine. The carrot was orange, the peas green, the corn yellow and the rice shimmered gold. It didn’t taste too bad either…

    My Chinese students want to see the photographs and may offer some additional tips. Strangely enough I found a recipe after I had cooked and photographed it. My bedroom was really warm when I went to bed and stuffy. I needed something to ease my breathing after an hour in bed watching some God awful movie on television. It starred Ray Winstone as a Viking with an East London accent. It was weird, like every shot had been photo shopped. There was a distinct lack of eye movement that made it spooky. Angelina Jolie was in it and her lips kept changing and going thinner at times. That was spookily weird. I found the stir fry recipe while I was looking for the first aid box; I thought there might be something in there to ease my breathing.

    The ideal blog should be around 500 to 1,000 words and I have just gone over 600 and so enough is enough. I have also run out of keywords. Keywords are useful for optimising your blog for SEO; only bother doing this if you are getting paid.

    I have to start using up market keywords like Gucci and Cartier soon and try to make my blogs more stylish and Parisian. I’ll think of something suitably fashionable and timelessly stylish to add to my blogging.

    That’s not bad for a miserable Monday…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 29, 2010

       No day starts out miserably when I get to read you
       🙂

       Reply
80. 

    Mike Maynard

    November 30, 2010

    Tuesday, 30 November 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    How to write a blog part two

    Use keywords
    
    Chinese student, hotels, Facebook, social networking, family, parking fines, dreamless ones, Amazon, snow, Texas, T shirts, stir fry, Windows Live, website, blog, accents, dialect, author
    
    I have some keywords to help write this stuff. I missed out dwarfs. Yesterday after I wrote my blog as usual I tried to help my Chinese student with an essay on management. The essay is about running a small hotel using 30 staff and dividing them into 5 or 6 teams and making them compete against each other using incentives and disincentives.

    The staff members have to work seven days a week and the hotel must be manned 24 hours a day, so a shift system has to be deployed. This is complicated and it is obvious that the professors have never done this type of management where you work out man hours, employ part time staff and have them work in different departments at different times of day.

    I came up with good ideas as usual. A good incentive would be a free bowl of noodles and rice for the team that performed best.

    A disincentive could be a thorough beating with a pair of chop sticks at the end of the shift.

    We were supposed to work on that project today, but I think her Windows Live isn’t working again. It got confused yesterday when we hadn’t assigned anyone to various jobs like handyman, gardener and someone to answer the phone. My friend talked to me at the same time on Windows Live; he is one of the dreamless ones and I wish I had never mentioned my parking ticket. I lost the appeal and he thinks I should appeal again; I think I shall just pay it. I checked my finances. I have ‘too much’ money; the paperwork could get complicated. I shall pretend I don’t know this and spend some money, that will solve the problem.

    I had an email from Amazon and it said they have a dictation machine for less that £50 I thought I would check it out. It was less than £20 and half price and records to MP3. This is cool technology; I want one.

    My sister keeps saying she will write her novel and doesn’t make a start. I could buy her a dictation machine to make notes? That would be a Christmas pressie out of the way and they are half price.

    I tried to tweet the link to another writer, but the url wouldn’t shorten; I left a message in Café Niente on LinkedIn.

    My Chinese student liked my photographs of stir fry. I would be popular with women in China if I was younger apparently because I can cook and I have other attributes like being funny and able to help with assignments. I have to try to help another Chinese friend who wants to sell T shirts; I have no idea how I will do that.

    My author friend M. J. Webb did a talk at a college and was asked about our regional accent and if that would hold him back. A.J. our talented illustrator went to give him moral support and answered with “It’s not where you come from that counts; it’s where you are going.” He emailed me his blog about that and I pasted it onto the website. The student was referring to our local accents and dialect being a disadvantage.

    Social networking will never be the same.

    My youngest brother joined Facebook yesterday and it made me laugh; the jokes have started already and so have complaints from his teenage daughter! I checked out his friends and those of his daughter and found my oldest brother has joined, too. He has five friends; he must have been on a while. There is no photograph and he could be worried that his grandchildren will find out about me and become corrupted by my irreverent humour. I think his children were teenagers the last time I saw them and now they have teenagers. I must be getting old.

    It has stopped snowing but there is no chance of it thawing by tonight, and so it will all freeze solid again when it gets dark. The energy companies will make huge profits from this and consumer will accuse them of profiteering; the regulator will make some reassuring noises and probably do nothing. They could do something this time; they are under threat from government cuts too. My Farmville friend lost her job; there is a lesson to be learned there. If you can afford to buy Farmville cash, don’t; save your money in case you lose your job.

    What do you say if someone offers you a measely £10 to write 1,000 words on something complicated like psychology? A simple “sod off” would work. You could say something like “Stick a brush up my *** and I’ll sweep the floor too,” or get a little diplomatic. A diplomat wouldn’t say no but suggest the fee would be a lot higher, cue sharp intake of breath and say “That would be expensive; you mean £10 a word…”

    This blog is long enough; tomorrow there will probably be more Facebook stories as my younger brother gets started with irreverent humour. I won’t repeat his joke from last night even I don’t stoop that low.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       November 30, 2010

       A couple of things:
       1) re: your parking ticket and my trying to get another $1,000 out of the insurance company execs. Although this is a task I usually find an interesting challenge, I think I may pass [at least at the moment] — I am having so much fun driving my new car (not to mention being 15 pounds lighter and on my way to becoming a Fashion Model) that I don’t want to expend any energy on negative things.

       2) Re: saying NO. Perhaps you and your Chinese friends and your brother and your Facebook crew miight want to read my series on SHARISAX IS OUT THERE — this week all about How to Say No to new projects/clients: http://sharisax.com/2010/11/28/saying-no-to-a-new-client-may-be-your-best-business-move/

       3) Someone took the trouble to Spam my email box with a Call for Writers . . . and they were offering the “tremendous” reward of [fanfare] $25 to write a blog post.
       GIMME A BREAK!!!!
       It only took me five seconds to reply and tell them what I thought of that “offer”; it reminds me of the marketer who sent out a FRP for a social media person to do about 85 things for his clients in 8 hours a month WITHOUT even talking to the clients!!!!
       Reminds me of some of my students who will ask for the most ridiculous things . . . simply because they think it’s “worth the shot.”

       Reply
81. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 1, 2010

    Wednesday, 01 December 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back.

    Parking ticket

    Shari guessed why I paid my parking ticket rather than appeal. I don’t need all that negativity in my life on top of the snow and Christmas coming. The private company that gave me that illegal ticket will be around for a while and social media is a powerful tool. They are hated by the people of this town and they go around abusing their power handing out tickets indiscriminately and taking photographs of cars and signs to support their dodgy practices. I can play that game and my zoom is better than theirs! I can wait until next year and take some photos of my own of their staff and the signs that litter the pavements everywhere. I can then upload them on to Facebook with some suitable comments and watch the uproar it will bring. Be careful who you pick on in this life, some of us get annoyed.

    The less said about snow, the better. I did hear a funny story about a guy who went to Alaska from a very hot country. He phoned his friend and said “It can’t get any colder than this”; that was when it was 0C and then his car broke down weeks later when it was – 15 C or something. He was stuck and his tools were snapping with the severe cold. She ended her little story with “I wonder what ever happened to him?” [editor’s note: Who’s the “she” . . . as in She ended her . . . ]

    I keep getting reminders that I am not getting any younger. The bank phoned yesterday and I get annoyed with these phone calls that try to sell me something and so I lead them on and keep talking for 30 minutes. The life insurance was a better deal than I’m usually offered but I still didn’t buy.

    News

    There are a couple of interesting news items today. The first that interested me was the electrician who suddenly claimed to have a fortune in Picasso art. This was interesting because the son of Picasso says he wouldn’t have been given so many paintings by Picasso or his wife. I have a nice painting on the wall of my living room and a lot I don’t like in the spare room. They are the ones that weren’t so good, and so I ended up with them. I suspect the same applies to these Picasso paintings. Mine aren’t Picasso unfortunately, and the artist hasn’t been ‘discovered’ yet. It is strange how people become famous after they are dead. [editor’s note: But not us, Mike, right?]

    My blogs on hypnosis attracted attention and I now have a hypnosis institute following me on Twitter. I wondered about this and my ideas on hypnosis and knowledge come from someone who died prematurely, and it seems his work is revered now. I read one of his ‘scripts’ last night and I was quite surprised. I could have written that,; it sounded like one of my scripts.

    The other news came from Brussels where the Great govern the European Community; the largest wealthy population in the world and also in Brussels there is a terraced house with 50 guys living in it. In surrounding areas, the army is taking out supplies to the homeless. Someone said it is a disgrace that we have homeless people in this day and age; I tend to agree.

    Visionaries

    There are members of LinkedIn who claim to be visionaries and can see the future and there are also psychics who make similar claims. The Bank of England has a super-duper computer and a computer model of the economy of the UK and claimed that they could predict the economy with this wonderful gadget. They failed and I predicted the recession much more accurately and wrote that the housing and equity bubble would burst. Of course, cause and effect means that we should be able to predict the future with some accuracy and people argue that the subconscious mind is complex enough to do this. I could hypnotise someone I suppose and ask them what tonight’s lottery numbers are going to be. It is ‘worth a shot’ as one of Shari’s students would say. By the way, I did read the stuff about saying no; all three episodes.

    I predict the future by remembering my spooky dreams. I had a flashback to a dream yesterday. I saw the future, or at least that was the way it appeared. My friend triggered this fraction of a second flashback and was tempted to mention what I thought would happen in the future. There are some things better left alone and people can wait to find out their futures. I won’t reveal my prediction for this blog either, but I am not wasting my time! 🙂 I think we are destined for better things next year. I do have a problem predicting the future though; I tend to know what will happen but not when it will happen with any accuracy.

    My word processor just corrected my grammar and put a semi colon in; English grammar could be different to American grammar. I have a real dislike of the Oxford comma and so did my English master; they just don’t look right. The Oxford comma is one inserted before the word and; I dislike the semi colon after the word and too. This is an unusual use of the word though and so it is allowed. You will notice that there is no Oxford comma in the previous sentence and I don’t really think it needs one. I also dislike more than one and in a sentence. If a sentence runs to three of them, it needs some serious editing. I offered to help a student with English, math and science yesterday and then had second thoughts when I realised I have forgotten most of the stuff I learned at school. Math would cover the dreaded calculus, and science could mean chemistry! I may be all right at English as long as it’s writing, punctuation and composition; but if it gets technical I could have problems. I suppose a history teacher should know some math, English and science, but it shouldn’t get too technical.

    There is only one smiley in this blog; I don’t care, I could win the lottery tonight…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 1, 2010

       regarding semicolons and other punctuation: perhaps British rules are different than US English, but I have to put a semicolon after an independent clause and delete the comma when there is no coordinating conjunction like “and” or else it is a Run On Sentence . . . on this side of the pond, anyway

       We need to play the “I Remember When . . l ” game again, so we make, rather than predict the future.
       🙂
       So . . . Mike, you remember when you won that 1 million pounds in the lottery, right?

       BTW, I’m having a Twitter Party at my home this coming Friday. Wish you could join us. If you’re up at 3-4:30pm Pacific time, perhaps you can SKYPE in???

       Reply
82. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 2, 2010

    Thursday, 02 December 2010, Sierra Oscar I’m back…

    I have forgotten who told that story about snow now. It was in Café Niente and besides I try not to name people. The Twitter party will be at 7am. If I managed to wake up and Skype in don’t ask awkward questions at that time in the morning. I have a Skype phone, it’s useless. I’ll leave my headphones and microphone handy. I was hoping to remember winning £15 million on the lottery so I could become a proper philanthropist. Can you imagine how annoying that would be to some people, watching me give money away and not give them any? I shall let my grammar checker worry about my grammar, it gets Oxford commas wrong but I just ignore it. Today’s blog is a little risqué. It is more interesting, though. My Chinese student is logging in with a cell phone; they aren’t as reliable and so she keeps logging out. I won’t do my predictions for 2011: then I’ll just remember a Saturday evening in July when I got 6 numbers on the Lottery. I’m predicting a major bank will rock the financial world so I may need some cash! If you bank with a European bank, worry…

    Farmville

    It appears my friend has been working hard and all hours to win at Farmville and maybe buying FV cash. People have accused her of cheating and formed some kind of clique to try to beat her. I don’t care. I accepted third place. I have got a variation on a trick I have been using for a while . . . to help me do better. I can plant and harvest, and the computer of course can’t tell one grape from another. This will give me an advantage when doing a co-op. I harvested around 500 plots this morning and planted another 500 to get a co-op off to a good start, and then realised I could do even better and make it close to 600 plots.

    Money

    If you were playing Farmville and were in serious debt and had maxed out your credit cards, would you buy FV cash — just to win a game? When money is short, can you resist social pressure or would you go down to the bar for a few beers and forget your troubles for a while and add to them for a while? I would personally cut down and cut out a luxury, which is why my bank phones me up and tries to sell me insurance and stuff. I have just given up alcohol yet again! It is partly for health reasons and to keep my mind sharp, so I can write my psychological thriller. I do have more income than expenditures, though, and so feel fairly financially secure. The British government is cutting down on all kinds of things while the opposition party wants to borrow and print money. Over the pond they are doing more quantitative easing (printing money) and maxing out the credit card, too. I saw one program for making bombs that are basically never used. If they are not used, why make them? It appears the politician who depends on that state for votes lobbies to keep the jobs. It makes no sense; those things cost millions. They could make everyone redundant and give them all $1,000,000 and close the plant. Give workers a million dollars each? Don’t be crazy — that would set an awful precedent; it is much better to keep the peasants busy; making bombs…

    Chinese

    My new wok arrived. The Chinese know how to make a good heavy wok. They have a different attitude toward things, more pragmatic. They aren’t making bombs they don’t intend to use. It is worrying that they are making bombs that they would use of course. They can afford it, though, and they are making new fighter planes so they don’t have to buy Migs from the Russians or F16’s from the USA. It is worrisome that half of Asia is queuing up to buy the new fighter planes.

    I made a comment on a financial website this morning; they have another young writer. She wrote about 500 words on working at home. She is a stay-at-home mum apparently and needs to do a little work to stay sane; she can’t rely on her rich mummy and daddy for everything. Afterall, they used their influence to get her this little job. The company posts proper jobs on LinkedIn, but most now get filled through the ‘old boys’ network. Did I mention, my friends in Café Niente want me to contribute to their new website devoted to cooking? I will do some stir fry and take photographs of the stuff in the wok and then the finished meal on a plate. It isn’t easy; food photography requires a program to enhance the mooted colours or your carrot wedges look brown not amber. I mentioned this on the financial site in a comment, I support young writers; no one else will comment on that garbage. By a coincidence, the financial site has also started a new food site; it could rescue them, they have been in trouble for a while. Can financial journalists straight out of Cambridge write on food? We will see. I assume they have a photographer. I think the editor may be annoyed to find I can write, cook and take photographs. Tough…

    Thrilling fantasies…

    One of the Café Niente regulars told me about the Travelling Shovel of Death which is useful if you have writer’s block. I had writer’s block last night before dinner and couldn’t think of further abuse to put my victim Becky through in my psychological thriller. She has been driven to suicide by her abductor; she has been embarrassed, humiliated and sexually abused. She has learned though; now she is desperate and has nothing to lose. Her abductor insists she takes regular showers and punishes her if she bolts the bathroom door. She is long past caring whether he walks in on her or not. She decides this time she will not only leave the bathroom door unlocked, but wide open. The pervert can see everything this time. Now she has power and uses her naked body to take some control over him and his perverted fantasies. This is weird behaviour, but it is what someone who is abused and desperate might do. She has been told no one cares but him, but now she takes control. When he tells her he is the only person in the world who loves her, she makes a demand. She demands that he “prove it.” How far will she go to humiliate him in return for the humiliation that she has suffered? He intends to take obscene photographs of her to humiliate her even more, but how will he respond to the suggestion that he also poses for photographs? Is this flash photography?

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 3, 2010

       so . . . this wasn’t risque [I can’t do those grave marks.

       I do want to share something related to your chat about the boring s*** written on some websites: I belong to a “tribe” of 100 bloggers who all comment and syndicate one another’s content. Our “fearless leader” just posted a video suggesting that many of the bloggers start writing more original content. No, he didn’t exactly say “There was Too Much “boring s***” — but the message was clear!!

       My SKYPE name is sharisax. Try and call us, maybe at 7:30 your time, so it’s not right at the beginning.
       🙂

       Reply
83. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 3, 2010

    Friday, 03 December 2010, Sierra Oscar…

    Risqué blog writing

    How do you stop your blog from being boring? Get their attention, start with the word risqué! Use a word processor, you can paste in later and you get the accent over risqué! Write about something you are expert on and if you don’t feel you are expert on anything, write about what you know about. Opening a box of teabags is boring — we don’t want to know! Not unless you opened some like I did just now and they were shaped like a pyramid so the flavour would infuse in the boiling water and you are having gluten-free biscuits with your morning tea; well that is marginally more interesting.

    How to scam a billion dollars

    If you must use headlines, make them interesting but reasonably accurate. Don’t use stuff like:

    Keira Knightley strips naked!

    That does work, though, if you want to wind your editor up! When you need to do research, do it efficiently and quickly. I just switched to Google Chrome and typed Keira into my address bar, and it confirmed to me that I had spelt Knightley correctly. I have added that to my dictionary; it’s becoming a pain!

    I used to work for the government before the telecommunications industry was privatised. Privatisation has brought competition and that has been useful, but lots of telecommunications are secret and we can’t trust greedy dreamless ones with national secrets. The privatised telecoms company has asked the government for funds to take broadband to the rural areas of the UK. The UK is about as big as California; this is not a billion dollar problem, but that is how much they want. They also promise to add a billion of their own and roll out broadband by fibre optic to the English Countryside. It sounds good, doesn’t it? They are in fact investing 1 billion and gaining over 2 billion in assets because the government will contribute the other billion. The new Metropolitan hospital has a price tag of a billion and so we are talking about a state-of-the-art hospital or broadband for rural areas, aren’t we? No! We are talking about four new hospitals! The one I go to is state-of-the-art and cost less than 250 million dollars because it is well designed. It didn’t need consultants with 100 million dollar fees to tell them how big to make the toilets. The Metropolitan hospital plan was dreamed up by the politically correct dreamless ones with their acronym encrusted politically correct, no smoking, no alcohol, racially correct, sexually unbiased, totally moronic mind set; if you write blogs in acronyms and buzz words, please stay off WordPress!

    How would I solve the broadband to the English Countryside problem? Well, broadband had to go to the countryside and through the English Countryside in a network. The problem is that last bit to the farms! They have broadband in Croatia and no cables, it is all Wi-Fi and free. I know, I know, we are capitalists; we can’t give stuff away free! The world might end! I nearly forgot; add humour to your blogs. There are animals on farms. There are worried sheep… They worry about the cost of broadband. You get the point about broadband to remote communities and farms; use Wi-Fi, its cheap and effective and above all; it is mobile. Because it is mobile the farmer not only gets broadband to his farmhouse, but to his dairy, tractor, chicken shed, barn, combine harvester and of course the cows in the fields can join Facebook. You heard it here first.

    Twitter and tribes

    Shari wanted me to join a Twitter event using Skype this morning. I had problems… I was asleep. I was awake at 4:30 I came down to the kitchen and made a drink. I was fast asleep at 7:30; I didn’t even hear my neighbour start the diesel engine on his van. My heating doesn’t come on to 8:20 and my neighbour just said it was -5 or -9 early this morning. She was right on both counts as I explained to her, it was -5C or -9F. I like the idea of a tribe though, I am gathering followers for my WordPress blog, I hope they don’t all write boring sh**. I looked at one guy’s blogs; he drives people to your website with reciprocal links and stuff like that. Do I want reciprocal links to boring sh**?

    I want to be happy, time to steal and paste…

    Step Up to Happy

    “In the study, college students either rested quietly for 20 minutes or cycled on a stationary bike for the same amount of time. And the cyclers weren’t even really pushing it. They merely exercised at a mild to moderate pace (60 percent of maximum heart rate). Both groups reported lower levels of negative emotions — like anger, depression, fatigue, and tension — immediately after the experiment as well as 2 hours later. But only the cyclers continued to enjoy their happier mindset a full 12 hours after the workout session.”

    This apparently works better if you have an exercise friend. I want to try it, I need an exercise friend. The hot young babe can do the exercising and I’ll sit here and watch…

    On the website it says picture yourself breezing through this every morning. I read it wrong, I thought it said freezing through this every morning…

    You blog should be between 500 and 1,000 words and I am on 924; I like the person who invented the word count, unless of course he is gay…

    Remember to read your blog and check for errors; I wonder how far they got on that stationary bike? I can teach blog writing for a suitably obscene fee; online too, with Podcasts…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 4, 2010

       This was not a Risqué post, but I did learn how to put in the accent mark . . . now let’s see who reads through your post to find the secret.
       🙂
       I’ve got a TV Biography show about Taylor Swift going on in the background; I like her; she’s adorable, and her music makes me happy. She’s young, but she’s probably put in the 10,000 hours that Malcolm Gladwell reported [in his latest book Outliers], Hmmmmm, the thought occurred to me . . . that lots of people besides The Beatles, Bill Gates, and Taylor Swift put in their 10,000 hours and still don’t make it.

       re: Exercise, i.e. cycles and stuff [like yoga] . . . why would people want to live without exercise?

       Reply
84. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 4, 2010

    Saturday, 04 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    More blog writing tips…

    Shari now knows how to put an accent over risqué, but I did have a problem with café! It wasn’t in my word processor dictionary. I use Google Chrome, it’s fast and good for doing research and so I just did a search for café and found the word complete with accent on the Internet. It was easy then, copy and paste.

    Writing, like music is an art…

    Writing like music is an art. It is the art of word craft and it helps to listen to music while you write, not music with lyrics; the words have to be yours! I am listening to Bach, Toccata and Fugue in D minor. I recommend you start with Beethoven or Mozart and work your way up to the heavy stuff. I saw the video of someone playing this on YouTube and it’s a complex piece. One comment asked ‘is it possible to play this on one organ’; the next comment was a silly answer reply: “It would be very hard to play it without an organ.”

    It is a good idea to become interested in digital art, music, cooking, photography, collecting graphical things like stamps and looking for inspiration in life. I read back my blog from yesterday to see what awful things had crept in like Oxford commas. I read the comment about whatsername; Taylor Swift, I highlighted the name in Chrome, right clicked and clicked search. She is some sort of pop star and friends with Selena Gomez; I know who Selena Gomez is. The photograph of Selena Gomez was awful; she looked like she was 40 years old, not an 18 year old hot babe. Conversely, Taylor Swift’s photographs were photo shopped to extinction. I didn’t recognise her, she sings a little like whatsername; that country singer.

    Collecting

    I’m a collector and so naturally I get letters from the Royal Mint and I used to get them from the Royal Mail philatelic bureau. I like the new designs on some coins; they are different, but the theme is still traditional and royal. The coins I was offered this morning were awful and expensive. They featured Churchill, the London Olympics, John Lennon and other garbage. There was only one vaguely well designed and I have no intention of paying nearly five pounds for a coin with a face value of only one pound; when they are not even proof. The leaflet looked crass like it was designed by the guy who designs burger advertisements for McDonalds. The dreamless ones have taken over the Royal Mint. I could go in the bank and ask for a bag of twenty pence pieces that are from the mint and in mint condition. I would get them for twenty pence and the design is cool and they are collectable. They have some silver coins with an equally awful design; they are trying to shift those before the VAT goes up at the beginning of 2011. It is dreamless to have no VAT on gold coins and 17.5% VAT on silver coins. The VAT goes up to 20% on January the 1st when the country becomes more dreamless.

    The dreamless ones are led by:

    The Right Honourable, David William Donald Cameron (pronounced /ˈkæmᵊrən/; born 9 October 1966) the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, First Lord of the Treasury, and Leader of the Conservative Party. Cameron represents Witney as its Member of Parliament (MP). Oxford University…

    Second in command of the dreamless ones is:

    The Right Honourable Nicholas William Peter “Nick” Clegg (born 7 January 1967) is a British Liberal Democrat politician who is the Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Lord President of the Council and Minister for Constitutional and Political Reform in the coalition government of Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron. Clegg is the Leader of the Liberal Democrats and is the Member of Parliament (MP) for Sheffield Hallam. Cambridge University

    What do they have in common with Taylor Swift? There photographs were photo shopped to extinction, too. She is also dreamless.

    Taylor Swift:

    “I love you like I love sparkles and having the last word. And that’s real love.”

    Never start a sentence with the word and. Is ‘Sparkles’ the name of her cat? Never mind, I don’t need to know…

    Remember when?

    I forecast the future by remembering dreams; banking is really going downhill in 2011. Shari plays her ‘remember when’ game. The word count says I can do another 250 words, I’ll try it:

    I ‘remember when’ the junior editor sent me an email; she liked my novel but wanted me to do some work on it. That was way back in January 2011, well before the banking crisis. I said I would do 1,000 words a day and that would mean I would finish in three or four months. I had done over 60,000 words by the end of January. I had the day off from writing on the 1st of February and celebrated my birthday with a large single scotch and a chicken stir fry cooked in the wok I bought last December. My stir fried photographs are now on a cookery website. In January, I was also contacted by that Los Angeles-based magazine and asked to write a humorous column for the magazine and website once a month. We eventually settled on a fee of £600 a month. I didn’t want it in dollars in case the value of the dollar fell with the banking crisis looming. I am really pleased with that deal and the stuff they send me to try has been great. I have had designer jeans, a tee shirt with ‘I love Beverley Hills’ printed on the front. A designer Ipad, a new laptop with quad core processing and loads of Hollywood movies on DVD to review. The movies are as interesting as watching paint dry. I’ll be glad when that scriptwriter hands the script to my novel to the movie director and they start filming the movie version of my novel. Keira Knightley promised to visit if she gets the part of Bianca. I must remember to get a tin of salmon and some king prawns from the supermarket. I wonder what she likes to drink.

    The word count has spoken…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 4, 2010

       Great job . . . from your lips [i.e. computer strokes] to God’s ears.
       🙂

       Reply
85. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 5, 2010

    Sunday, 05 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    More tips on how to write a blog

    “The Amazon, if it happens, will be more catastrophic because there’s this feedback between drying and fire and fire and carbon dioxide release that is quite fast.”

    The above sentence about the Amazon rainforest was written by a university professor. It makes no bloody sense whatsoever, and that is not a good way to write anything, even your shopping list. The previous sentence does not have an Oxford comma, you don’t need to tell the reader to pause before the word and; but it does have a semi colon to ask the reader to take a breath before continuing on through a long sentence in the hope they may understand. [I have read some bloody appalling crap in the past 24 hours. One person has the audacity to lecture others on the use of the semi colon. I went on to a siteEditor’s note: After our discussion of semicolons, which you will be able to read after I post it, I have taken my editorial license to disagree with Mike and have “corrected” the use of punctuation. Any grammar experts out there who want to disagree or agree with either of us, please leave a note.] for writers where again they have come out against the use of the semi colon and they are charging people to do their ‘writing courses’! That was the ‘Creative Writing Institute’; I was going to help them to bring creative writing to cancer patients. I’m not sure if I can write that badly…

    I am writing this using Microsoft Word with a UK dictionary and grammar checker on and it just inserted a semi colon after Institute; I’m not arguing. It is quite usual to put semi’s before the letter I, when the letter I is used as a word. You can’t really write funnies without using semi colons; they provide the comedy timing.

    I really want to demonstrate how the semi colon is used in comedy; can I think of something funny to write in between sneezing, wiping my nose and drinking my tea, that has now gone cold? I may go to the Victorian sweet shop this afternoon and buy herbal flavoured cough sweets. I think it’s thawing again; I have a burst pipe; I got a little wet yesterday turning the water off outside. You see, if you remove the semi colons from the previous sentence, it changes the meaning. I think even replacing them with commas would make it less funny and it’s struggling to be funny as it is. I have made more hot tea and have biscuits to dunk; I need to write faster, or I shall be writing this and cooking lunch at the same time.

    Farmville

    I had a tactic at Farmville that kept me in the lead; I bought gold hay bales and got extra XP. My friends caught up and passed me, no worries; I can spend less time playing Farmville and more time writing. Notice the semi in front of that I? My friend went into the lead and then her friend from across the pond went into the lead and then my friend went back into the lead. They were competing with each other and not me; I was languishing back in third place. MS Word just reminded me to put in another semi colon; in front of the letter I in the preceding sentence. Don’t you love proper English grammar checkers and proper English grammar? I thought maybe my friend and her friend were buying Farmville cash. The only other alternative was they found a tactic I didn’t know about. I decided not to compete and to be nice. I send a message to my friend yesterday and said I hoped she would be better soon and I was sorry she lost her job. The reply answered my questions about Farmville; she has a new tactic and now I know what it is! Her friend became very competitive and jealous when she started losing; they are no longer friends. I think I am meant to catch up and make matters even more complicated. I may do that, I have to get a bull first… I wonder how you get a bull. I have 61 cows and apparently if I put a bull in the cow shed just before milking something will happen; I hate to think what. I think I will get more milk.

    Blogging continued…

    Try to keep your writing fluid and go seamlessly from one topic to another. I just made a quick switch because that stuff about milking reminded me that my neighbour is pregnant; I don’t want to go there… If it wasn’t for the bump she could win a wet tee shirt contest easily…

    My late sister used to keep telling me to take my time. I do everything quickly; I walk that fast, I make my legs ache. This is why I don’t need to exercise and need to rest a lot. MS Word just put a semi after quickly; it was not me, it was my computer…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 5, 2010

       After yoga . . . the semicolon discussion WILL continue
       🙂

       Reply
86. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 6, 2010

    Monday, 06 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    How to write a blog

    I’m English, you can tell; I use semicolons! Mostly semicolons are used just like I used the one in the preceding sentence before the letter I. I could have put a comma, but it wouldn’t have been right and if I had split it into two sentences, they would have been very short sentences. I read a blog by an American writer yesterday and the content was acceptable; she was (notice a semicolon before the word she) writing about how to write blogs. She wrote long sentences; they had what looked like random commas through them. She could structure her writing better if she just accepted the semicolon; there is nothing elitist about using the semicolon!

    I wrote a blog a few days ago and Shari liked that one because I played her ‘remember when’ game. This consists of remembering the future and using your imagination to perceive what the future may be like. Our discussion about semicolons went onto another website, and there were a few of comments — all from Americans. One was against semicolons, one was sort of neutral and one supported the use of semicolons, and that comment interested me. I checked out the profile and it was an editor. In the ‘remember when’ blog, I said I would ‘remember when’ I wrote for a Los Angeles-based magazine. This editor is Los Angeles-based; spooky… I decided to research the magazine and got a copy! I got a PDF of a scan of the magazine. I suspect this magazine is published in different countries and I got a copy for another country, and so it was a different editor. It was definitely up-market. I hope I get a contract to write for this magazine; I couldn’t find a semicolon in the whole magazine, and it’s quite long. They need some semicolons and features highlighting the dangers presented by dreamless ones. I need free samples of some of the goodies they advertise. I’m not too fussy; I thought the diamond-encrusted Rolex was a bit over the top. I want the laptop; a custom-built laptop is very cool. I missed a semicolon then before the I in a previous sentence and Word wanted one after laptop too; spooky. I don’t use colons except for lists and I don’t usually use lists in blogs. They can be a good idea though. I still want the designer jeans and tee shirt of course, but they are very expensive.

    Keep regular…

    You should write regular blogs and it is preferable to have your own domain, but you can start off on WordPress.com. I started on Blogger but I dislike the format now. You can write from experience and use your ‘expert’ knowledge; we all know about something. You will notice a pattern and a style in my writing such as the tendency to put a semicolon before the letter I when used as a word. The humble semi can also be used to emphasise a word, as can italics; spooky.

    I want a car

    I wonder if that posh magazine would get me a nice new car. I like mine but I would still like a new one. They advertised cars like the Ferrari; I don’t know they are a bit low on the ground for me to crawl in and out of. They advertised others; I was surprised to see Volkswagens advertised in such a posh magazine… I think if Shari started putting semicolons before the letter I in a sentence, she could perhaps get semi addicted to them. The semicolon in the previous sentence is an odd one because that can be either a semicolon or a comma in proper English grammar. [Editor’s Note: You won’t find the semicolon that Mike referred to because it was supposed to be a comma, so I changed it. Mike, I do like semicolons, but one of my writing role models William Zinsser wrote in his “On Writing Well” that most writers can live their lives without using a semicolon.]

    I have a paper to edit now and return to its owner in China. I did one on synthetic phonetics the other day; they are used to teach kids to read. That was an English student whom I thought was studying history but is actually training to be a teacher. She can’t use semi colons either.

    Consider a semicolon in a sentence before I, we, they, but and spooky. They can also be used to join two very short sentences together — in certain circumstances.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 6, 2010

       Right now I’m addicted to All Things Social Media, so it is difficult to introduce another addiction, even one so romantic as semicolons.
       🙂

       Reply
87. 

    sharisax

    December 6, 2010

    OK, Mike. I want to do the Facebook Page with you — how about calling it Mike & Shari’s Pesky Punctuation Page.

    And we discuss punctuation.
    What do you think?

    Reply
88. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 7, 2010

    Tuesday, 07 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    How to write a blog continued

    Why write a blog?

    Writing a blog will improve your writing and writing is useful to most people. You can experiment with grammar, punctuation spelling and wordcraft, trying to get it all perfect; perfection is nearly impossible but we can at least try. You may also want to write letters, résumés, your first novel, articles, features and stuff like that. There will be trials and tribulations and you will find problems, like how to get those damn accents over the letters in résumés! You can annoy your editor, if you have one, by using words like résumés; especially if they have trouble with accents.

    One question people ask is how much I would get paid if I wrote for a newspaper, magazine or a proper website! I guessed at around £300 for a monthly glossy magazine. That is for 1,000 words, but US magazines will pay more, between $500 and $1,000 for 1,000 words. Most newspapers pay less except for the up-market ones. The magazine I checked out the other day is about as up-market as you can get and an article, feature or blog for that magazine would require extensive research. It is also a quarterly magazine and so I would have about 3 months to think about it and do research. I would expect around £2,500 for a 2,000 word piece in that particular magazine and maybe some freebies thrown in. The odd pair of designer jeans to try, the latest Rolex: I could even test drive new cars for a month or two. It would be a trial to drive to the chip shop in a Ferrari, but I would give it a try; they would pay for the petrol of course.

    Blogging can lead to all kinds of opportunities, Shari wants us to start a Pesky Punctuation Page on Facebook; devoted to semi colonic irrigation and stuff like that. I like to create phenomena and so this would require careful thought and advanced planning. Who would we aim the page at; writers, students, journalists?

    I read an article by a dreamless Oxbridge educated journalist this morning. You should write about what you know! This dreamless one wrote about shopping in Pound shops; where everything is a pound. I shop in Pound Shops; I bought those A4 envelopes last month from a Pound Shop. They were a bargain; well they were before I found the parking ticket. The dreamless one has obviously had a quick look around one to research his article and then got his stationery out of the office cupboard.

    Chinese students

    I helped my Chinese student yesterday; the other one will want help soon. She has to do the same paper and it’s not as easy as it looks. I will mention semicolons; if I refer to myself or another person, I precede the word I with a semi colon. I have preceded the other one with a semi colon and similarly if I was preceded with a semi colon. I thought I would mention that specific use of semi colons. My Chinese student just came online; it’s 6:30 in China. She did a paper on a hotel; it was a small hotel with just 30 staff. The staff had to be divided into teams of 5 or 6 people and the teams encouraged, competing against each other. My friend should do well in business; she only allowed them one day off a month. The hotel obviously has to be staffed 24 hours a day and 7 days a week; this doesn’t lend itself to academic team rules. It was a dreamless question that got a dreamless answer. One of the other students has 10 staff working on marketing alone; that epitomises the thinking of business students and their teachers. If you assign 10 people to marketing and only have 3 people in the kitchen; the food may not be up to standard; especially when they are trying to do an English menu and a Chinese menu. This is a problem; marketing BS is no substitute for good food.

    My student has won a scholarship for high marks, 1,000 Yuan about £100 or $150! We’re doing well, if we can win another 200 like that one she can afford to do post graduate studies in England!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 7, 2010

       Ah Ha, I see NO comment on How To Become Rich & Famous . . . but that’s because we’ve reached that 500 comment goal. How cool is that!!!
       OK, Mike, I’m certain you were waiting patiently for the next goal [beside the Pesky Punctuation Page which I’ll get to momentarily]. You can read my Facebook announcement, but basically I want people to read and comment on the issue of Seniors who Shouldn’t Drive — and how we can help them when they lose that independence: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/09/call-your-mother-but-keep-check-on-those-car-keys/‘
       Got any relevant experience there?

       Now about those peskies, i.e. semicolons and their friends.
       Good question about the audience. We could have a few targets, beginning with students who’d appreciate a humorous explanation of punctuation . . . and their teachers who might appreciate the helpful way of giving lessons, and all those people who need to write for their jobs who would appreciate a memorable way to get it right, and editors/publishers who want clever writers. How about that for starters?

       Reply
89. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 8, 2010

    Wednesday, 08 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    I started writing this last night, well early this morning; it was nearly 1 am. I ended up reading a research paper about Visionaries and the scientific research that was done as a double blind trial. It found that people can predict the future or at least have pre-cognitive thoughts about how they will feel in the future. I get that, quite often… It led me to an institute in California and a lot of people who appeared eminent; doctors and people with PhD’s and I copied and pasted this from an article:

    I have a theory, which goes if the wisest man in the world wrote the book on life and I mean “The Book on Life” and he finished it on his deathbed and before he went, he gave it to a child and said this is the book on life and if you read it, you would know everything. Now the child may be able to read it in a good few weeks or month, but the child had to experience through life what the wise man wrote to understand it, so the child who is now grown old and is on his deathbed might turn around and say now I understand what the wise man meant.

    That guy really needs semicolon tuition… He likes the word ‘and’ doesn’t he?

    If an elderly relative can’t drive

    If your elderly relative can’t drive, then they probably have a few problems. It could be they are ill or have memory problems due to age or Alzheimer’s; they may have eyesight problems and can’t actually see to drive. Some eyesight problems like serous detachment involve the retina and can sometimes be fixed and sometimes they are permanent. Macular degeneration is a degenerative condition effecting older people and usually permanent. The usual problem is cataracts and these can be taken care of with surgery.

    I had this surgery last year and so I prepared for it. I needed someone to drive me, and so I took taxis for awhile and I could only see out of one eye. It was quite scary when my ‘good’ eye itched and I rubbed it while driving. My eyesight got quite bad, and when my sister drove me to hospital, I asked her if everything looked clear on the way back; it was misty to me! It was the lubricating drops they gave me to lubricate my eyes; I stopped using them. She also drove me to the city hospital for an appointment with the surgeon.

    They say we go into our second childhood as we get older; we certainly need support. When the surgeon asks if you are ready for surgery, he is actually asking if you need to be able to see again. It is worrying when you can’t see out of one eye and the other one may be failing. You have to say yes, even though you want to say no!

    The guy who was an ex-soldier and had seen the world talked tough and said it hurt like hell after the surgery; was wrong. It is nerve-wracking waiting for the surgery, but doesn’t hurt. The surgeon assessed me and marked up my left eye; I immediately asked him to mark up the right eye, the one with the cataract. Don’t ask for the right eye to be marked up if you want the left eye doing of course. This mixup enabled me to tell him the joke about the guy who had his leg amputated. After the surgery the surgeon said, “I have good news and bad news; the bad news is we cut of the wrong leg; the good news is your bad leg is getting better!”

    I listened to Mozart and Beethoven using my MP3 player and looked out of the hospital window while I waited. I had a bag with all my stuff in, including a dressing gown so my rear wasn’t protruding out of the hospital gown, like it usually is. A hot young nurse led me to theatre where an anaesthetist checked me over and pronounced I wasn’t nervous enough to be sedated. I was still, I was calm; I was too scared to move… I was definitely still after I was covered up with only my right eye showing and clamped open. He liquidised the lens in my eye with ultrasound; the machine made a strange noise and an even stranger noise came in the form of Bollywood music in the background. The surgeon hummed to the music, I breathed in oxygen from a tube carefully placed under the sheet. I felt the reassuring hand of a large Afro-Caribbean nurse holding my hand as the first incision was made. It didn’t take long for the new plastic lens to be slipped in and I felt something like stitching. Then it was all over and the surgeon was repeating my joke about the guy who had his leg amputated to the anaesthetist. I got off the trolley and followed the nurse back to the ward and that was it; nearly.

    My sister returned from shopping to take me home; unfortunately she forgot she was going to my house and headed for hers and we got lost. If you are transporting an elderly relative who can’t see; don’t get lost it is very irritating. I used a poly drug to heal my eye, which is a medicine that contains more than one drug. This stuff contained an antibiotic to stop infection and dexamethazone; a powerful steroid to reduce the inflammation fast.

    I was fine and welcomed the workmen into my home to do the re-wire, fit the new kitchen, put a new roof on and fill the place with eye irritating dust a week later.

    Remember to call your elderly relative; elderly or at least something like the wise one, old is as impolite as calling an overweight person, fat or a dreamless one, stupid.

    I might do digestive problems in your advancing years and how this affects driving tomorrow.

    A woman 80 years old had cataract surgery; she said “Doc, will I be able to drive after this?” The surgeon reassured her and said, “I don’t see why not.”

    “Oh, good,” She exclaimed, “I have always wanted to be able to drive!”

    People over 50 years old sometimes complain of nurses or caregivers shining torches in their eyes just as they close their eyes and try to sleep. Those white flashes of light are neurons, firing all by themselves and producing flashes of white light; it’s quite common, even my optician gets it.

    I’ll be back…

    Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Chameleon…

    Just practising…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 9, 2010

       I’m cross-posting part of this on the FEATURED BLOG: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/09/call-your-mother-but-keep-check-on-those-car-keys/

       Reply
90. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 9, 2010

    Thursday, 09 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    I don’t think Shari got yesterday’s Culture Club joke…

    Cross posting

    I thought cross posting was a copy and paste into another thread. MS Word is working right now. I keep having problems with the thing. I put hyperlinks all over my website to other parts of the website and external links to other sites. I have lots; I imagine it drives search engine bots nuts. Ah, my semicolons are back! Hurrah! I was missing them.

    Small Chinese people

    Yes, I have been helping Chinese students again and they have Office but the US version; miserable Microsoft. They send me a file and it is formatted for the US dictionary and grammar; so all my semicolons disappear and I get the u taken out of humour and the s in realise changed to a z to make realize. It drives me nuts! I don’t mind one or the other with spelling but tend to get a little of both and mangled English, too.

    Java wants to update now; it does that nearly every day. It will tell me it doesn’t need updating in a minute. I haven’t even played Farmville this morning!

    One of the assignments my Chinese students are doing involves imagining they have a hotel to run with 30 staff that has to be divided into teams of 5 or 6 people who then have to compete with each other. The professors setting the question stipulated 1,000 words on page 1 of the question and page 2; but then said 1,200 words on page 3. They didn’t mention the size of the hotel. I assumed small because 30 staff is a small staff. This wasn’t obvious to students. Some students have 10 staff working on marketing the hotel; I wonder where they got that idea from? One of my students wants to put a swimming pool, jacuzzi and bowling alley into her hotel to increase trade. I can imagine a Jacuzzi that converts into a very small swimming pool but a bowling alley, too? I told her to do a re-write. It is 7 pm in China and she needs to re-write it by about 9 pm and send it to me for a grammar and common sense check. She spent too much time playing computer games. I have re-written one paper for her this morning and it’s not 11 o’clock yet. I also looked at Farmville and did my email.

    Java just decided my computer doesn’t need updating after all; their computer may, though. I told my Chinese student to put 2 teams into the kitchen and restaurant; team A1 and A2, teams B1 and B2 can do housekeeping and C1 and C2 can do reception alternating between work days and time off days. That is 6 teams of 5 people; now who will clean that swimming pool?
    🙂

    I was going to write about getting a little past your sell-by date and perhaps not being able to drive. It can actually get worse than that. Post menopausal women often suffer from osteoporosis and it can affect us guys too. The latest research into aging revealed that men over 70 want more sex. I have news for the researchers; men under 70 also want more sex.

    News flash…

    It is now officially warm in England — it’s thawing; burst pipes time! We have 1C: we are now above freezing. I can take my head out of the microwave. Photographs of frozen trees can be found on Facebook. I uploaded them yesterday.

    Meanwhile…

    Osteoporosis can be a relief compared to other diseases. I fractured my hip about 4 years after my sister did hers. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis; my sister wasn’t so lucky. She had multiple myeloma; bone cancer. Be grateful for small mercies; we never know what may be worse. That cloud had a silver lining because I asked about my other problems while I was in hospital and got to see a specialist who found out about my pancreatic damage amongst other things. I shall write more about recovering from hip surgery another day, but load-bearing exercise is vital if you want to walk again. In other words, get on whatever you have, walking frame, crutches or in my case 2 sticks and walk until you have stretched those muscles enough to walk without sticks. You can’t even get in a car for a few weeks after surgery and so you are stuck; you even have to go to hospital in an ambulance. You will get back to normal walking fast if you walk a lot; it is a struggle on 2 sticks. I walked all across the hospital only days after surgery from out patients to OT; occupational therapy. My sister commented on how well I did and added the occupational therapist must be a hot babe to get me to do that; she was right of course. I think attractive nurses and therapists are under used and valued in hospitals. Those men over 70 who want more sex would get a lot more exercise and stop thinking so much about it if they placed them at one end of the hospital and a hot nurse at the other end and gave them all binoculars or something.

    People who never buy a ticket never win…

    I’m thinking that I haven’t had a bet on a horse for a long time. If it’s thawing, the ground will be soft and there could be horses expecting fast, hard ground running on soft; it could be an opportunity. I tend to bet at a high price and then lay the bet; take a bet from someone else halfway through the race and hedge my bet. I can’t lose betting this way, quite often. It is like a banker investing $10,000,000 of the bank’s money and then he decides to offer you a stupidly low interest rate and invests, diversifying the investments and lending money to large corporations at 10X the interest he is paying you. He can’t lose then and can afford to give himself a bonus, stock options and Aloe Vera impregnated toilet paper in the executive wash room. In life you should take a few calculated risks, become a banker even; its easy money.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 10, 2010

       You’re right . . . Culture Club? Wassup?

       So I suppose Pesky Punctuation Page won’t make it on its own; can it at least be a chapter on the Facebook Page? Maybe one day a week? What do we talk about on the other days? 70+ year old men? World peace?
       Humor [or Humour]? Blogging? Made-up interviews with made-up celebrities?

       Maybe you should try some of these out here . . . and then we can do some “cross posting” and screw with the “bots.”

       Reply
91. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 10, 2010

    Friday, 10 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    Culture Club

    Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, Chameleon… was of course a song by Culture Club; the British new romantic band led by Boy George and inspired Wednesday’s punctuation joke – Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Chameleon… Now you know…

    Chinese students

    My Chinese students haven’t been getting on well for a while; one insulted the other yesterday. Insults are serious stuff in China and can get you murdered in your bed for insulting someone. Honourable student number One works hard and didn’t take the insult well. I helped Honourable student number Two who hasn’t been working hard enough and has been playing computer games instead of doing assignments. I rewrote her assignment for her and that took a while; I left the Harvard referencing to her and the bibliography, too. I can’t do everything; my grapes needed harvesting in Farmville. I had an email from Honourable student number Two saying she is unhappy and intends to work hard and be more like hard working Honourable student number One. I may have eased tensions for a while.

    Branding and Iconic branding

    There are lots of brands and many of them successful, but what makes them iconic? They are sort of pervasive. Iconic brands like Google and Coca Cola use all means possible to promote the name and the brand. Mc Donald’s is considered by many to be iconic; Facebook certainly is. Coca Cola benefitted from its bottle being used as a subject for ‘pop’ art by Andy Warhol. Iconic brands have a symbol, even the blue F that represents Facebook is displayed in the tab of a browser as a favicon. Facebook has a favicon, a blue F; LinkedIn has a favicon, a blue In; I have a favicon, a small pirate ship; now Shari wants a favicon! I think perhaps attention to detail is important in creating iconic brands. The names are important. They are often quite silly when they start out; but unique. We have names like Yahoo, Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, Coca Cola, Pepsi, Mc Donald’s, Burger King and so on. They all have visual images to represent them, even if at times they can be tiny.

    Jesus Christ is the most iconic person and the symbol of the cross is the most widely accepted; it’s still going after 2,000 years. That is typical iconic branding. Jesus offered unconditional love, a basic need. Some companies offer social interaction, some drinks, (water is basic) others are a representation of another basic need; food. To take your brand or idea to iconic level, look at primitive and basic needs. Sex works well of course and is used to sell. I tried to think of an iconic brand based on sex; maybe Victoria’s secrets? No; a brand, but not iconic…

    Sex in advertising does appear to overshadow the product and I can’t find an iconic brand that uses sex! I must invent one and make a billion pounds. I found this quote while doing a little research:
    
    ‘In the animal kingdom, the massive size and impressive quality of a peacock’s tail is used to signal to females the size of handicap that a male can endure while also meeting his basic needs. This is known as the handicap principle. In humans, the tendency to show off how much we can afford to waste has resulted in gamblers risking the loss of a million dollars on the turn of the card, kings building palaces with hundreds of rooms, and rappers covering themselves in gold and silver as part of “bling” culture.’

    That explains why Rolex, Cartier and Gucci are iconic brands; they are ‘bling’ and the human equivalent of a sexually attractive peacock’s tail. I thought that being a writer attracted the opposite sex, but apparently it is not that. It is commitment and enjoyment that is attractive. If you are committed to writing or anything else creative to the point of obsession; like me, the opposite sex finds this attractive. You can commit to anything creative, photography, art, writing or even a commitment to something like pop culture or even Harley Davidson’s can be a turn on. I could get a Harley and take hot babes for rides on a Sunday afternoon. Maybe not; I have been through my biker phase already. I do need an iconic brand to promote with a new Facebook page. I think the Pesky Punctuation Page was a good idea, but not iconic. A Dead Writer’s Society would be more iconic because it’s a bit; spooky.

    I never wear jewelery, I’m blingless. I do wear a watch, it’s a few year old and needs a new strap. I can’t find anywhere that sells the straps I like! I’ll have a lot of straps specially made when I’m really wealthy. I may join that group of people that have promised to give away half of their wealth by the time they are 65 years old. The guy that runs Facebook is the latest to sign up. Do I want to belong to a group that has nerds in it like Bill Gates? Maybe not… I wanted to be a philanthropist at an early age. I became fascinated with the idea after reading Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations. If I had a billion pounds, I could do rather a lot. What would you do? That is a good subject for tomorrow’s blog. What I would do if I was a billionaire…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 10, 2010

       there’s quite a difference between what I’d do with a billion versus a million dollars . . . with a billion, I would speedily divide it in half and figure out where best to give it away.
       With a million, however, I wouldn’t be so quick to give money away.

       Never really thought of that distinction before. What to do with a Million Dollars seems easier to decide, probably because it is more limited . . . and imaginable! But given the two options, I’d be happy with the “problem” of deciding what to do with the billion . . . and I’d be more than willing to prove that [i.e. deciding what to do with a billion] if it lands on my doorstep.
       🙂
       Thanks for bringing those thoughts to my head.
       Now, of course, I have to put the Billion Dollar Intention on my list. I believe, though, that it takes second place to my Intention to become a 64-year-old Super Model. I told one of my friends about that goal when she described a career goal of hers that she thought was “crazy.”
       Mine was crazier . . . or not.
       She asked me what my action plan was.
       First off, I’m “perfecting the bod” and then putting “it” [the goal] out there WITH Intention.

       Glad you asked. Oh, you didn’t. Well, this is our sandbox, so we really can play any way we want, right?
       I was thinking of calling our Facebook Fan Page something like Playing in the Sandbox with Mike and Shari. Is that better than Pesky Punctuation Page?

       Reply
92. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 11, 2010

    Saturday, 11 December 2010, Sierra Oscar…

    What I would do with One Billion Pounds

    I said I would write about what I would do with a billion pounds and so here goes…

    My priority would be my health, that of my family and friends; then the general welfare of myself, family and friends. I then would consider the welfare of the community, the country and the world at large. My first task would be to protect my wealth and look for investments. I would diversify, but mostly I would invest locally or at least in the UK. I am fairly sure the value of the pound will go up against all major currencies in 2011 and so investing at home makes sound financial sense. If inflation runs at 4% over the next year, the billion will lose 40 million in value by next year unless invested properly.

    I would offer employment to a few people; my friend is a web programmer and always looking for a better job. I would employ him to start new websites and put together programming teams. I can develop my Neodigital Art through a website and through an art gallery. I think I could probably buy a gallery that is local. I would stay here; I don’t need a mansion. I would like a new car and maybe somewhere in the English countryside to go, near the river. I could go fishing… I would of course get an editor to edit my novel properly so I could publish it using digital printing; if it went well, I could publish other people’s books too. I may have my car enhanced a little and buy a new Jaguar to go down the motorway in.

    Health

    We have a National Health Service but I would look at private medicine, not only for myself but friends. I have friends who have health problems. One of them needs surgery and that would be high on my list of priorities to make sure she got that urgently and didn’t have to suffer any more. The others may benefit, it’s hard to tell; money doesn’t buy good health; but it bloody helps!

    Education

    I could help my student friends so they didn’t have to worry about student loans, and I could become an anonymous benefactor like the convict did in Great Expectations. That would be interesting. I could start a community radio station to train radio presenters and news reporters. I could perhaps extend that to hospital radio and start an online newspaper to serve the local community, too.

    I could support my old schools; I can see my junior school out of my bedroom window. My great nephew would be popular if I put a few hundred thousand into new computer stuff for his school. The high school needs some major, sensible ideas. I could have the roof fixed for a start.

    Politics

    Politicians are all dreamless; I could put something new in to politics. I could start the English Eccentric Party, but it would of course need policies; no worries.

    We would print money like governments do (quantitative easing), but buy land and build a million new homes in Britain. It was a property bubble that caused the recession. We could sort out the stock market and get rid of the parasitic stock brokers and traders. It could be open 24/7 with direct access and dealing by computer. We would put a high tax on gasoline and aviation fuel to try to persuade people to travel less and have better vacations less often. We would order the Bank of England to raise interest rates to sensible levels to encourage saving and frugality. We would inject money into the bottom of the social-economic pyramid by increasing the minimum wage for everyone and scrapping income tax for most people. We would get rid of dreamless licensing for cars and televisions. I would probably ban all dreamless things. We would need a slogan of course, Eccentrics against dreamlessness has a ring to it. We would introduce warranties on everything from computers to cars — for at least 5 years; there is way too much crap in the shops and toys fall apart a couple of weeks after Christmas. They make the cardboard boxes they come in better than the toy; that could be why kids play with the box instead of the toy?

    That I enough for today; I’ll get serious tomorrow. This blog is taking longer than usual to write; it is way too serious.

    In a much better Britain where sensible political views are being talked about and people are appreciating my art and written words, I can relax and go to the river for a little fishing. The Avon, near Warwick Castle perhaps: I could tour the castle and take photographs for my Neodigital art while I’m there and visit Shakespeare’s birthplace just down the road. I can think of other phenomenon that I can create, while I’m fishing. I could perhaps have a new men’s fragrance with my name on it? Eau de Mike? I could do lots of things like that — designer jeans, a whole clothing line? I could test things and put my name on them if they were really good. Anyone got a really good beer? Single malt anyone? It could be fun being a billionaire…

    I could sponsor research into all kinds of things, like super-foods. I would see if minerals like potassium and iron enhanced the function of the nervous system and increased intelligence and creativity. I would fund research into pure water; does drinking pure water regularly thin the blood and prevent cancer? Does dehydration on the beach make people more susceptible to cancer?

    I could fund research into energy. I could develop bacteria that turned sewage into high grade compost and methane gas. I could develop heat pumps that removed the heat from waste water before it went down the drains. The manhole covers melt the snow using all that wasted heat. I could have waste heat pumped from used water from my shower into my bedroom; it would be nice and cosy when I got ready for bed.

    I would of course fund pipelines to take water from African States that have plenty to States that have very little so they can grow more food and maybe invest in agriculture in those countries. I could buy a small bank or even start a new online bank and offer people a proper return on their money. That I enough ideas for one day…

    Is a sandbox the same as the sand pit I played in as a child and made sand castles and things?

    Santa’s sleigh’s outside (no, I’m not making it up)…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 11, 2010

       As i seriously read your serious ideas, I couldn’t help but think that “some” people go into politics to do many of the worthwhile projects that you mention. The problem is the “disconnect” between idealism and how government [i.e.lots of people with lots of ideas and varying levels of power . . . and ethical behaviors] works [or doesn’t]. But that is another blog post, right?

       Yes, sandbox and sand pit must be one in the same.
       🙂
       i.e. a place to have fun and create . . . and tear down, too.

       Reply
       1. 

          Mike Maynard

          December 11, 2010

          Power corrupts; ultimate power corrupts ultimately.

          That’s why I don’t want palaces and mansions, I would stay here. Even with a billion pounds, life would still be relatively simple; but with high ideals of course… I am not Oxbridge educated, and I’m certainly not from a privileged background. I remember an Oxbridge-educated master at school complaining about the heat on a summer’s day. He opened the window and then complained about the noise from a local drop forge. He was dreamless ; he still complained. I commented that he wasn’t as hot as my dad was when working on the drop forge hammer, handling red hot forgings. Some people forget easily, or choose to, when they have power or money.

          Reply
          1. 

             sharisax

             December 11, 2010

             reminds me of the truism “It’s not how much money you make, but how much you keep.”
             why?
             “It’s not where you go to school, but how much you learn and how you use it.”
             🙂

             Reply
93. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 12, 2010

    Sunday, 12 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    Everything is relative (Einstein)

    It was Einstein who gave us the theory of relativity and said there are no absolutes. It can be hard to think relatively. Shari could imagine having a million dollars, but a billion was a little more difficult to imagine. Einstein also said that imagination is more important than knowledge.

    I wrote about my Chinese students earlier in the week. One of them was offered a job in the summer break as a waitress earning 3 Yuan an hour; she talked to me about it. I said she could earn 50 Yuan mowing my lawn — demonstrating the relative difference between earning in Britain to China. She didn’t take the job and travelled about 10 hours by train across China to join a friend from University who said she had an ‘opportunity’ for her. It turned out to be illegal pyramid selling. She was a long way from home and needed to get back home. She met two tourists; one American and Bruce an Australian, they couldn’t speak Chinese and an interpreter is expensive; they earn around 1,000 Yuan an hour. My student is studying English and so they were able to help each other; she made the most of a window of opportunity.

    A 1,000 Yuan an hour job is of course relatively more then just 3 Yuan an hour; she didn’t make 1,000 Yuan an hour; she bartered her skills, but it provided motivation. She studied hard and entered competitions this term and won a 1,000 Yuan scholarship. It is not a fortune, but it is a start. She was also asked to teach a middle school student English for an hour a week; it pays 25 Yuan an hour. Relative to a translator on 1,000 Yuan an hour it isn’t much — but much better than a waitress on 3 Yuan an hour. This week she was asked to teach another middle school student; again it will pay 25 Yuan an hour, increasing her earnings to 50 Yuan for 2 hours a week.

    She has learned, studied and been imaginative and it’s paying off. She is also looking at interpreting as a stepping stone to better things. She is thinking about what it will be like in England in 2012 and used Google Streetview to look at the street where I live. My brother’s car was parked outside when those pictures were taken. I talked to him yesterday and he said when he went outside at work, he commented on how warm it was. It was only 6C but that is warm after suffering temperatures of -6! I am thinking of going shopping later if it warms up and goes above freezing! Even the temperature is relative.

    Facebook

    Shari came up with an idea for a Facebook fan page ‘The Pesky Punctuation’ page or the ‘Sandbox Page’ I don’t particularly like either but the former was relatively better than the latter. We need imagination and to think outside the million dollars box and go for a billion dollar phenomena. We need a word like apple, blackberry, apricot, tangerine, orange or apricot. These are all fruits that have been used as brand names; some successfully. They are generic names that have been made into brand names. We could go for a unique name, which would be more SEO friendly; examples include Yahoo, Google, Facebook, FCUK or something similarly unique. I know Facebook is sort of unique and generic. We need a goal and stepping stones. My Chinese student has a goal, CEO of a company. The stepping stones are teaching English to middle school students (25 Yuan an hour), teaching English to High school students (40 Yuan an hour), translating (a lot more) and interpreting (1,000 Yuan an hour).

    We need a goal and need to offer a product or service. This is easy. It has to be a service to make use of our imaginative abilities; it has to use our writing and maybe photographs. We still need a name that has some significance to creativity and writing; we are getting closer! 🙂

    I receive some newsletters; one has headlines that are hyperlinks and the other has hyperlinks to a blog and an inspirational quote.

    I think we need a template for a newsletter; maybe a photograph at the top and some text and then each time we send out the newsletter it can have ‘headlines’ added hyperlinked to blogs, the Facebook page; websites, wherever we want them to go. This could be a stepping stone; Mailchimp does a free newsletter service and so does Tinyletter, both are worth considering. The newsletter idea may not be a good one but it’s worth brainstorming and considering; out of one idea comes other ideas. That could be step one; step two could be persuading them with a Fan Page and blogs. We need a service! We need the equivalent of interpreting; something high value that involves being creative, writing and maybe photography. I am thinking it would be good to have even more people involved and make it really phenomenal. We can drive them to blogs, but what do we do with them then? There are websites that pays $1,000 a blog for good blogs. We could build a showcase and target them? We could target the editors of glossy magazines? We definitely need to target someone! There are other ways to make money such as adding affiliates to a website. We should consider all options; except Google advertising, I won’t stoop that low.

    Lateral thinking

    We have to think laterally; ‘outside of the box’; don’t think like a millionaire, think like a billionaire! We need stepping stones, alternatives and a long term strategy.

    I’ll start with a warmer sweater, then coat, thermal hat and gloves. The next step will be to run the car for 10 or 15 minutes to thaw the ice and warm the heater up. Then drive to the ATM and grab as much cash as possible; maybe change the ‘pin’ on my credit card? On to the sweet shop, buy jar of sweets; consider alternatives – what else have they got for Christmas? On to the supermarket, buy gift voucher for neighbour so she will continue to do shopping for me in the New Year. I shall consider the alternatives in the supermarket; I can buy loads of stuff while I am there. I must remember the top priority is the gift voucher; then household stuff, food and cleaning stuff. I’ll watch out for salt; bloody weather they keep running out. I’ll look at turkey; I need something big enough so it won’t dry up when I cook it but small enough so I’m not eating it for a week. I’ll check out frozen veggies; they keep well this weather. I could get more drinks for my guests at Christmas and watch out for other food that would go on a buffet? I hate shopping; I hate going out in the cold. I still have a couple of hours to think of an excuse to stay in the warm; I have a headache… When I’m a billionaire I’ll have all this stuff delivered and my own personal ATM…

    It is strange that I remember my history master at school complaining about the noise from the drop forgings. I don’t remember anything he taught; he did write a really awful history book though; it gave plagiarism a bad name…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 13, 2010

       Sweet Stuff, Billionaire Thinking, Lateral Thinking, Talent Showcase, How to be Glossy, Curtain Call, Onstage Online, High Value, Headlines & Inspiration, It’s all Relative . . . for starters, i.e., after your start —

       Reply
94. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 13, 2010

    Monday, 13 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    Another Monday

    It is Monday again and after yesterday’s billionaire blog; we are relatively speaking back to normal. When writing a blog, think about what you did yesterday and you will probably have something to write about.

    I finished writing my blog and then onto an assignment for a student; it was mostly editing awful grammar and spelling. This time it was for a British student but it doesn’t make much difference; one paragraph still didn’t make any sense and I had to re-write it. I usually write a new conclusion, too; this is the last thing to make an impression on the reader and needs to be really good. It was about teaching kids science and so I named-dropped again; I still had Einstein in my mind and mentioned that stuff about everything being relative and that there are no absolutes. We do teach kids absolutes by scientific laws; water freezes at 0C. But then kids find it hard to accept that the freezing point can vary a little. They also find it hard to accept that stuff like Ice plus and Ice minus can alter the freezing point of water. I’m trying to think of a scientific law and the only one that comes to mind is Boyle’s Law; it has something to do with temperature and pressure being proportional. You really needed to know, that didn’t you?

    I cooked lunch after doing the assignment. Then I prepared for my trip to the ATM and shops. I didn’t bother changing the PIN on my credit card; I just grabbed £300 ($500) from the ATM and headed to the Victorian sweet shop to buy my jar of sweets. There was a weird guy in there talking to the lady who serves me. He had very long hair and a biker jacket; he seemed a little old for that look. He took an interest in the bundle of cash in my wallet as I paid for my jar of sweets; I gave him a look that said, “Don’t even think about it.” I decided to take the cash home before driving on the dreaded supermarket. I thought driving farther would also warm the car heater up a little more. I dropped my cash and jar of sweets off at home and went the long way around to the next town to try to get to the supermarket.

    The road into that town is about a mile long and so I am half a mile away and I know it’s no good hurrying — the traffic lights are on red; they are always on bloody red. I got to the lights and twiddled my thumbs for 5 minutes. I travelled about 10 yards after they changed to green; yes another set of bloody traffic lights; on red. This is why I hate this damn town! The dreamless drivers indicate to other drivers just before making a turn, which is not helpful. I sit at the lights even when they are on green and eventually make the turn. I have a sense of foreboding because I know all the dreamless ones are going to the supermarket.

    The car park is designed by a dreamless one. Someone described it as a maze and someone described it as a Ludo board. There is a queue; it is a pastime the dreamless appear to enjoy, a Sunday afternoon out in the supermarket. Why can’t they stay in and watch another moronic soap on television? I managed to find a parking space after doing the driving equivalent of an assault course. I did that once on an army parade ground; it was driving around obstacles in a sort of maze to see how good we were at driving. That was easy compared to the supermarket car park where you have the dreamless ones driving around too.

    Inside the supermarket was as I suspected — chaos. I went down the side where it was relatively quiet while I adjusted the wobbly wheel on my trolley and got my trolley pushing technique right. I didn’t have time for clothes, but noticed towels on sale; I need some. What size are they? Who cares? Throw them in the trolley. The dreamless ones are now getting on my nerves as I enter the more crowded areas, I remind myself not to swear at them and spot pillow cases. I really need some of those. There were only pink or black. I don’t want pink, I’m not doing a bloody nursery; I took the black and thought I’ll risk my bedroom looking like a set out of some seedy porno movie.

    Food, glorious food

    Yes, armed with new towels and pillow cases I made it into the massive food section and picked up a turkey joint for Christmas, frozen chips, veggies and drinks for my guests. It wasn’t until I got home I realised I missed the fresh fruit and veg. I wonder where they had hidden that. I saw lot of flowers by the entrance; I expect the dreamless ones buy those for Christmas. They were buying all sorts of stuff that I wouldn’t even consider; lots of guys were lurking in the aisle where the beer was. I saw one guy on a checkout and all the others had a queue; I got the attention of the checkout girl. I asked if I could go through her checkout with a trolley, some checkouts are basket only or something. It is amazing; the checkout girls are like robots and if you talk to them, they seem to like it. I think that one would have had my children if I had asked. She advised me to go to the customer service desk for a gift voucher and I left her descending back into robotic mode and staring blankly into space once again. I chatted to the girl on the customer service desk next about my hatred of shopping and need to get a gift voucher; she was friendly once she remembered she was human.

    Home, sweet home

    I got relatively lucky with the traffic lights on the way back, but did get into the wrong lane and ended up coming home the short but challenging route. I put the shopping away and decided I would vacuum my bed and change it now I had new pillowcases. I think it could be house dust mites affecting my breathing and giving me headaches. I seemed much better last night anyway. The black pillowcases don’t look bad with navy blue sheets. I even vacuumed my bedroom after doing my bed. That is weird, blogging, cooking, shopping, bed making and cleaning all on the same day. I am getting positively domesticated. What next? Window cleaning! I decided to write my Christmas cards and do one for my neighbour with the £50 gift voucher. I decided to write one to a friend and realised I hadn’t talked to her for a while. I phoned. I get free calls for up to an hour as part of my call plan and have to redial for more free time after the hour is up. We hadn’t talked for a while and being a typical woman she had saved up all her problems to tell me about. I forgot about writing Christmas cards, it took a couple of hours to do the phone call. I think I met her in 1974 and I try to keep in touch. She was 21 years old when I met her she is 57 years old now; doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun?

    I ended the day, clean and deodorised from the shower; crawling between clean sheets, I watched television on my laptop. There was a drama on about a writer in the Thatcherism years who found himself in hospital and at the mercy of a difficult matron. He eventually goes home from hospital after telling matron where she could shove the walking stick; to poverty and cooking stew made from dog food with the addition of spices from his cupboardEd.note ??]. He gets involved with a very left wing political group and ends up in Switzerland; where they try to get him to smuggle explosives. It was quite interesting, but a little depressing as you watch the poor sod descend in to old age, obesity and misery.

    1,400 words and I only wrote about Sunday, I should have saved some of that for the rest of the week…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 13, 2010

       🙁 You left out the hour long phone call with your 57-year-old friend whom you met when she was 21. What did you guys talk about? Surely what you’d each do with a billion buck? Right?

       Reply
95. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 14, 2010

    Tuesday, 14 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    The amazing thing about my phone call on Sunday with a friend of 36 years is that we are still friends and I can still listen to her problems for 2 hours.

    How to become rich and famous on the Internet

    New research has shown that in the years prior to the current recession that people generally became financially better off. Did they become richer? The research found that mental illness went up as people struggled to cope with change and competition. They wanted to be relatively better off compared to their colleagues and neighbours. In Britain we call this ‘keeping up with the Joneses’. I wrote a couple of days ago that everything is relative; wealth certainly is. So you don’t really want more money, you need peace of mind and security.

    I don’t compete with people; they are talking about Christmas and wanting better Christmas lights, better presents and a turkey with six bloody legs. They want it all and to hell with global warming; we can keep manufacturing and consuming rubbish until the end of time. I’m planning a buffet when I entertain my family for one day and I have only bought one present. I shall give my neighbour a gift voucher and some children a card with money in and that’s the lot. Christmas decorations will be the same lights I have used for the past few years. I won’t need to go on a diet after Christmas; I am always on a diet, for my health. I do have a plan though; I still have a few health problems. I have solved most of them but you know what they say: the devil is in the details. I worked out an action plan to take me to the next level of healthy living and I will think positively. It’s wet, cloudy and miserable today; this is good. If it goes below freezing later in the week, all this water around will freeze and stabilise temperatures. Every cloud has a silver lining and so be grateful for what you already have; and if your colleague or neighbour has more than you, be pleased for them but remember that is just outward show. When my neighbours see my car, it’s not as new as theirs; I am doing them a favour. They don’t need to compete. They have no idea what investments I have or why I don’t have to go out in sub zero temperatures at some ungodly hour to work. On a cold morning, I am quite enriched compared to my neighbours because I am tucked up in a warm bed while they go out in the cold.

    I have an experiment for you to try; both of you. Next time you are in large store, like the supermarket I was in on Sunday; try speaking to someone. I saw a lady looking at pickled chutney; I wanted some and couldn’t get anywhere near because of her and her husband. I just asked her if she could see the one I wanted [politely I may add]. She found it for me and I said “Great, thanks very much.” Her husband looked at me with that look that was asking “He asks for a jar of pickle and she finds one and gives it him; I ask for a beer from the fridge and I get a load of abuse. What did he do to her?” It’s quite simple, mate. I was just nice to her. I talked to a few people in the supermarket; it seemed to make their day, especially the checkout girl. They are particularly stressed. I’m surprised they don’t have an occupational psychiatrist just for checkout girls. I could do that…

    Today’s lesson, in case you missed it; communicate and be nice, this is step one. If someone reminds me I’ll do step two tomorrow; small steps add up to giant leaps.

    My neighbour just called and asked if I want any shopping while she is at the supermarket; I gave her a £50 voucher for Christmas. I think that takes care of my shopping for a while…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 14, 2010

       Not competing is a Good Thing . . . that is, not competing with others. Setting goals for oneself, however, is the way to go.

       One “goal” [I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Mastery of Love] relates to your lesson about being nice to people. However, it is more about taking care of yourself. When someone is NOT nice to you, e.g., criticizes you, then do NOT take it personally. If you were in a fine mood before his remark, then don’t let his words affect you. Rather, realize that he is projecting his own unhappiness. That being said, when you say something nice to someone [or even just say something nicely as in your story], then you can “make their day.” It always amazes me the power of a smile at someone.
       🙂

       Reply
96. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 15, 2010

    Wednesday, 15 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    Are they nuts or just plain crackers?

    Britain’s retailers are being forced to demand age-identification from shoppers seeking to buy Christmas crackers because of new health and safety legislation they have branded “daft.”
    
    Under the pyrotechnic articles (safety) regulations of August 2010, Christmas crackers have been classed as “category 1” fireworks, which means they have an age restriction of 16 and cashiers have to check the age of people buying them. The majority of Britain’s stores use a “challenge 25” policy for selling age-related products such as alcohol, tobacco and fireworks, meaning people who look under 25 are asked to prove they are old enough to buy.

    “Busy shoppers with a lot on their minds will be understandably frustrated if they are asked to provide ID to buy a box of Christmas crackers,” the British Retail Consortium (BRC) said in Wednesday.

    Under the legislation, stores face financial penalties and individual cashiers fines of up to 5,000 pounds ($7,848) and six months in prison for selling crackers to underage customers. “It’s the health and safety rules which have gone crackers and not retailers themselves,” the BRC said.

    Rich and famous

    You have to be imaginative and so it’s back to the park. No, Keira Knightley isn’t going to strip again…

    Imagine a long wide path through the woods and that is your path to something better in life. There are lots of narrow paths off the long wide path and you don’t know what may lie ahead. The birds are singing and the squirrels swing happily from tree to tree. There are pigeons and you know what pigeons do best?

    There could be scary people who jump out from the bushes, but we walk the path of death anyway. Life is like that; no one gets out alive! I can see the future, as well as read minds. I can see that path ahead, I can’t see if you are going to take a narrow path or stick to the wide path; that is your choice. To give you an example, I will make a spooky predication for 2011 and predict Shari will go on a trip. It will be a long trip by aeroplane quite possibly overseas. This only happens if she sticks to the wide path. She could decide on a major change in direction in her life and take a narrow path; she is free to choose. We are all free to choose and you can choose to be rich. You want lots of money? Why do you want lots of money? Remember, small steps lead to great things; one small step for man is one giant leap for mankind (who said that?). [Ed. note: Neil Armstrong]

    If you want lots of cash, take a small step, spend less money and have more money left; start now, Christmas is a time when nearly everyone spends too much. Personally I don’t want to be famous, I’m quite infamous enough. I don’t want the paparazzi following me down the chip shop. If you really want fame and the long lenses of the paparazzi watching your every move; take all your clothes off in the park, that will get their attention. If you are male, — it will also get you arrested! It is true that with success comes fame to some degree. I don’t think really smart people attract the attention of the paparazzi, but they do attract attention. I don’t mind attracting enough attention so that people read my novels, articles and blogs.

    Meanwhile back in the park

    You need to decide whether you are going to stick to the wide path in the park but also what you will do on the way. Will you talk to people if you meet them? Will you be nice and friendly? Will you stop to enjoy the beauty of the park or run through in case someone spooky jumps out at you? We have to make plans and set goals, decide on those small steps we intend to take that may cumulatively turn into a giant leap. Now is a good time to decide on some small steps to take in the New Year. It is quite traditional to make New Year resolutions. I’ve decided to win the lottery, but I’m spooky, I can see the path ahead. It is hard sometimes to stay on the path though. I have decided to do other things — mainly involving being creative like writing, photography, art, cooking, making videos and chatting to hot babes in the supermarket. You do whatever makes you happy because being happy is really being enriched.

    I’m waiting for the page to load so I found this:
    
    Scientists in Kenya have located one of the world’s rarest and oddest-looking flies after a long hunt for an insect dubbed the “terrible hairy fly,” experts said last Wednesday.
    
    Scientists first stumbled across the yellow-haired fly in 1933 and then again in 1948. Since then, at least half a dozen expeditions have visited a site between the towns of Thika and Garissa to find it again.
    At about one centimetre long and so far found on a single 20-meter high rock, the Mormotomyia hirsuta looks more like a spider with its hairy legs, scientists said.
    Unable to fly and partial to breeding in bat faeces, the fly is thought to live only in the dank, bat-filled cleft of an isolated rock in the Ukazi Hills. It also has non-functional wings that resemble miniature belt-straps, and tiny eyes.
    Dr Robert Copeland of the Nairobi-based International Centre of Insect Physiology and Ecology said the fly’s physical appearance had left scientists bamboozled about where exactly it belonged in the entire order of Diptera, or “true flies.”
    “We have collected fresh specimens for molecular analysis to see where exactly the ‘terrible hairy fly’ fits into the evolutionary process,” Copeland told Reuters by telephone.
    “The fly has no obvious adaptations for clinging onto other animals for transfer from one place to another. With its long legs, it could perhaps wrap itself around a bat and get a ride … but it’s never been found elsewhere.”
    The Mormotomyia hirsuta is the only member of its biological family and some fly experts reckon the fly will eventually prove to be the only family of fly completely restricted to Africa.

    There are no flies on me…

    I’m losing the will to live; first I had to wait for Google analytics and now Gravatar; I really dislike slow hot links. At times like these; make tea…

    I made the tea. The page still hasn’t loaded. I’ll cook lunch in an hour. Do you remember the chutney the lady in the supermarket found for me when I suggested she look to see if there was any there? Always be subtle, a subtle suggestion is better than asking for what you want straight out. I tried that on my dinner last night, it was very nice. I had sardines, lettuce, sweet corn, carrots, peas, chips with salad cream and chutney. I photographed it, it looked so nice. I can contribute that photograph to http://nothingcooking.com

    I cancelled the connection and reconnected; we have lift off!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 16, 2010

       I remember wearing a long black dress at a Halloween party where I was parading around as a movie star. Back then I “knew” I wanted wealth without fame. However, now that my goals are revolving around building Influence Online, I have realized that one must become Famous in order to make money on the Web.

       BTW. I will be in Acapulco and Zihautanejo for two weeks in January. 80 degrees 🙂
       Then I’ll come home to “work” my plan . . . starting with a new photo on my social media profiles and a path to wealth and fame.
       🙂

       Reply
97. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 16, 2010

    Thursday, 16 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    Spooky predictions

    I predicted yesterday that Shari would be going overseas on a plane in 2011 and she already has it planned. I shall make a further prediction about the trip I forecasted; in case it’s not the one in January. I also know she will go into a building, it has tall ceilings; this is spooky because I have the same thing in my future, but a different building! I am trying to work out what these buildings are. You walk into a building feeling quite excited at the prospect and it’s an event. What kind of event and what is the building? I thought about all the buildings I have been in during the past year with high ceilings. I have been in the hospital, art gallery, library and other public buildings. I have no idea what this prediction means in my life; perhaps Shari will get her shot at the catwalk after all?

    Meanwhile in the park

    Life is like a walk in the park, down a long wide path through the woodland where spooky people lurk ready to run out shouting, “Give me my money.” We take one small step at a time however and gradually go forward towards our goals. We do have to be brave to some extent and to set goals. Shari intends to update her social media profiles in 2011. You may remember I forecast better things beginning in the Chinese New Year starting in February. I think I will also have better things beginning on the 3rd of February! We can’t reach our goals if we don’t have goals to reach for! It is a good time to set goals now for the New Year. I have always found that if I set goals for the New Year, things begin to happen around February anyway. I think life generally in England is slow in January; business certainly is with many people in business complaining as people recover from the Christmas spending spree.

    In the North Sea there are oil platforms. The oil, like many other natural resources, belongs to the British people and the government many years ago licensed drilling for it as such. Many things are similarly licensed. The airwaves for cell phones alone brought in 20 billion pounds for the government. This money in theory is shared out to those in need, the child born British but disabled gets disability benefits, for example. Some benefits can get a little ridiculous and the Oxbridge crowd led by the current prime minister, love to point out any anomaly and then take action against the poor. It is outrageous when they take action against the most vulnerable. Their latest target was people in residential care who have serious learning difficulties. The story in the news today was of a family with seven children claiming ‘housing benefit’.
    
    David Cameron has told MPs it is an “outrage” that a family was able to claim £2,000 a week in benefits to live in a luxury townhouse.

    David Cameron has told MPs it is an “outrage” that a family was able to claim £2,000 a week in benefits to live in a luxury townhouse.
    He said housing benefits had got “completely out of control” under Labour but the new Government would impose a cap next year.
    At Prime Minister’s Questions, he said many people would regard the new £400-a-week limit as “very, very generous”.
    It was reported last week that Abdi and Sayruq Nur and their seven children moved into their three-storey property in Kensington, central London, at a cost of £8,000 a month.
    The issue was raised by Tory Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon), who asked Mr Cameron: “Do you agree that Mr Nur and his family, who have moved into a £2,000-a-week house at the taxpayers’ expense in Kensington, is exactly the sort of thing the coalition was elected to fight against?”

    You will notice the very English names in that story, both of the claimant and of the MP who moaned. Kensington is an exclusive part of London and to have a claimant living there is an outrage to them anyway. The Prime Minister’s idea to cap housing benefit at £400 per week does sound reasonable especially when the parasitic ‘buy to let’ landlords buy at interest rates that are so low they are being subsidised and rent at a high rent because it’s paid for by the State. People do need somewhere to live however and there is a shortage of social housing. I think a house building program and sensible interest rates are called for before he raves on about the injustice of benefits.
    
    Easy money

    Most people want easy money, and it would appear the value of the pound against other currencies especially the US dollar will rise in 2011. This means many overseas investors have an opportunity to make money by investing in British companies, and I think they will as the government cuts and the US goes for more quantitative easing.

    As you go down the path of life, it is a good idea to be aware of what is happening in the world and take a view based not on dogma but on reality; you may benefit from circumstances. My Chinese students will come to England in 2012, assuming they pass their English tests that they are currently studying for. We take wealth for granted much of the time in England; they will see it from a different perspective and may be able to take advantage of their new environment. We miss opportunities all the time, just because our environment is so familiar.
    
    Checkmate

    I can see the path through the park with some clarity, but it’s only when you get up close you can see the beauty of the flowers or the squirrel in the tree; we have to stay alert to see opportunities and recognise them. All opportunities benefit us, but they are not all about making money! I’ve been playing chess and the opportunities to win are complex and I need to stay alert. I have been playing against the computer, constantly controlling the game and locking my opponent’s rooks up in the corner of the board. I do the unexpected and recognise I am playing against computer programmers. Recognising the question is vital when you are searching for the answer. If the question is complex and you can’t think ahead too far in advance then try at least to think of a few moves ahead. The solution can often be quite simple, just one move can mean checkmate; you lost or checkmate; you won.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       December 17, 2010

       Parks and chess go together. So often I see movies and TV shoes where people are playing chess in the park. So there’s got to be some symbolism going on. Or not. I’m thinking of a blog post with Social Media Resolutions for 2011, but I was trying to figure out whether those would be MY resolutions OR my suggestions for my primary audience these days — BabyBoomers who are very, very slowly understanding the need to get started social mediating, you know, those people who sit in a group and are afraid to ask, “What is a blog?”

       Re: tall buildings. I happen to love living rooms with two-story ceilings, but we don’t have one in my home, and I love my home anyway. In Acapulco and Zihautenejo, I don’t remember any tall buildings.

       Reply
98. 

    Mike Maynard

    December 17, 2010

    Friday, 17 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

    Social media

    How do you publish a blog? I get an email several times a day with links to articles or blogs. The links are like headlines. I clicked one today and it was the Oxbridge educated dreamless one who had quite a long piece on the website about pre-Christmas scams. One in particular was cash back in supermarkets. I was asked if I wanted cash back last week in the supermarket and it would have showed on the machine that took my pin number. It is true that I could have been distracted and an extra £10 added to my bill. The checkout girl would then have to take £10 from the till to profit from her dishonesty in a store with hidden cameras, risking her job right before Christmas. In practice it doesn’t happen in the UK or very rarely; the idiot was speculating. The publishing process for the article or blog was a good one, though. People don’t read blogs without a link driving them to the blog. I use Tweets now to drive people to my blog and write blogs with my readers in mind. I want to write more comedy because that appeals to virtually everyone.

    One small step

    I have already written that it is a good idea to break down large problems into bite-size pieces and tackle them that way. It is a good idea to set goals and work out small steps to take towards achieving those goals. I placed a few bets on horses a few days ago. It was an experiment, small steps to see if my idea worked. I always bet on a betting exchange because bookies are basically dishonest, even the large companies, especially the large companies. I worked out a system of sorts and looked for horses with a reasonable price that had a chance of winning, preferably over a decent distance. The weather wasn’t great for it so I may do better next time. I found my horse or horses in a race and then checked the price. One was 20 to 1 and drifting; it had been lower at 16 to one. This horse was ideal for my experiment and I placed a bet at 20 -1; that means for my £2 bet I would receive £40 if it won! The chances of it winning weren’t good at those odds. I then tried to ‘lay’ the bet at 18 – 1 and got someone to take the bet about 10 minutes later. I now had £2 bet at 4 -1 and so stood to make a £6 profit and couldn’t make a loss; I had hedged my bet. I did a lot of bets that afternoon and didn’t manage to lay all of the bets and so lost some money. Some of the horses won and so I made money and came out around 50% up on my initial outlay and so the system worked. I do need to find a way of doing it better though, I found the shorter priced horses went even shorter as the start of the race approached and the longer priced horses drifted but could shorten during the race. The timing of the bet is a matter of judgement and vital to whether I make a profit. I shall try it again! The same principle applies, though, to stock markets and FOREX markets, but the stakes on those markets tend to be higher. I basically went for small profits, rather than taking a big risk for a large profit; that small step approach and making a steady but small profit can be the way to go. You can invest your winnings and increase the size of your bets later and with a lot more experience make better judgements.

    There is money to be made in FOREX (Foreign exchange), but it is specialised and experience costs money playing any of these markets.

    Shari is thinking of writing a special blog about social networking for Christmas and New Year. I expect to be bored senseless on Christmas Day; but that is when I tend to be funny so that blog may be worth reading. I may take a day off when I have visitors; I assume that will be on Monday or Tuesday when everyone has spent time with their kids and want some adult company and to enjoy my food and booze. I shall be taking photographs of the food and maybe the booze too? The day after my visitors should be a good blog because when I get together with my younger brothers it tends to be funny.

    This building isn’t tall; but has high ceilings once inside (it’s a library):

    http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m293/Mike10613/mike1/Mike2/library001.jpg

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
99. 

    sharisax

    December 18, 2010

    I love libraries 🙂
    even though I tend to frustrate myself because I bring home a lot of books and only read a few of them. I’m finishing Pat Conroy’s South of Broad. He wrote Prince of Tides, which was hysterically funny. And I have enjoyed the rest of his books as well. This one, however, well, the story is not bad, but the writing style doesn’t seem as polished as I remember from past books.

    My husband Jack and I just returned home after ushering at a play in Berkeley — Arabian Nights: lots of very funny stories, but it’s late and I’m tired. [Good thing I don’t have to tell a story now, like Scheherazade!]

    Reply
100. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 18, 2010

     Saturday, 18 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     A lesson in leadership

     You are CEO of a large company or organisation and you have severe problems. How do you lead the organisation out of difficulty?

     1. Give all the executives and managers a pay rise.
     2. Cut back and make workers redundant.
     3. Talk to all staff; ask (nicely) for efficiency, a pay freeze and extra unpaid work.

     The US government has just given all executives in the economy a pay rise by way of tax cuts. The British government is cutting back just like the Canadian government. The question is where did the leaders learn how to lead so badly? It was of course in the top universities where they have no leadership.

     When a little math can be useful

     Many years ago in England, mathematicians from Britain and America worked together to try to crack the code used by the German’s Enigma machine. They did it eventually by using a computer designed by a lowly telephone exchange technician. They called the computers Colossus; this was smart thinking. After the war, the prime minister ordered the computers to be destroyed; this wasn’t smart thinking. Britain could have led the world into the computer age with the Colossus computers, but Churchill decided against it. He also decided against bombing German synthetic oil terminals to end the war; he thought bombing Berlin and killing innocent people was a better option. Politicians have always been dreamless…

     We still needed to crack encryption codes and that job went to GCHQ, a top secret facility where mathematicians worked to crack new codes. One mathematician got a job there and the work was explained to him on his first day. He was living as a lodger at a nearby house. That evening he thought about the codes and wrote down a formula that was something like this:

     A = 8 mod 3

     The answer to that equation is 2, mod returns the remainder. So divide 8 by 2 and the remainder is 2. Now imagine really big numbers the size of numbers that a computer like Colossus could handle; numbers higher than a million. The password to a computer is just a number, it may appear to be numbers and letters; but every key we press on a keyboard sends a number to the processor. If we send a number that is a key (a password) and the recipient has the other key; then we can combine the two keys with this formula to give a remainder and the answer can be the same every time. The key we send can be different every time though! If the key in Nova Scotia is 3 and we send 8 then the remainder is 2. We could send 14 and the computer would divide 14 by 3 and the remainder is still 2! These are small numbers; in practice huge numbers are used. higher than a trillion.

     We needed computers though; sod, some dreamless one scrapped them! The system was used successfully to send information to British Embassies around the world for 30 years and by some small miracle it was kept secret! We didn’t tell the dreamless ones how it worked! We didn’t even tell our friends on the other side of the pond how it worked. Unfortunately, a couple of kids came up with the same system in United States and that system is used for secure computer communication even now. You may see a padlock on your screen when doing internet banking for example. The question you should ask is with such a powerful encryption code at the disposal of the US government how did all that ‘top secret’ information get into the hands of Wikileaks? Did they really hack computers or did someone purposely give them the information to expose dreamlessness in government?

     The most annoying word of 2010

     The most annoying word of 2010 was; whatever. I think the most annoying word of 2011 will probably be dreamless I don’t really care — whatever…

     Webby on the radio

     My friend who wrote Jake West: The Keeper of the Stones is being interviewed on BBC radio on Wednesday. I like the presenter who is interviewing him too. I didn’t even know she had defected to the BBC. I have a radio on my MP3 player, I think I could do a recording; it would be cool to put that on his website. I put a Merry Christmas graphic on yesterday and a video of Slade singing ‘Merry Christmas everybody’. Slade is a local band from Wolverhampton or they were in the 1970’s. I saw them practice at a local disused school where all the bands practiced in those days. I used to get asked to manage bands in those days!

     Farmville

     I saw an eBook on a website for sale ‘Farmville secrets’; it was out of date, and lots of people are trying to sell it because the affiliates make $20 or something. It helps you get past level thirty and up to the highest level 70. I’m on level 101 and my friends are on even higher levels. Farmville keeps changing and so a book isn’t a great idea; maybe a blog? I may do an update of my Farmville secrets as soon as I get a bull. You put a bull in with your cows before milking and they produce more milk apparently; I know you can’t make this stuff up. You need a gingerbread house on you farm now and there are snowballs fights. I’m about to get a gold award and bonus for doing a co-op in just over 3 days. There is a WordPress theme that looks very much like a Facebook page; even the comments look like the comments on Facebook. There are so many scams associated with Facebook and Farmville in particular.

     Snow

     Yes, it’s snowing again. I cooked homemade soup yesterday and it was delicious; but the photographs weren’t so good. I want those photographs for a website. The trick to getting a good colour is to add washed onion skins to your stock pot when making the chicken stock. That gives the stock a nice golden colour; but I wasn’t using onions!

     I haven’t driven on snow yet this winter, but I have ridden a motorbike on snow and come off! It will be harder with all the parked cars and speed humps. The dreamless ones love their speed humps. If they hadn’t spent millions on those, the traffic wouldn’t be so bad and they wouldn’t be in so much trouble and having to cut local spending by around fifty million. They have entered into a contract with a private company so they will collect garbage and do recycling and the contract is worth 300 million. I thought ‘300 million’? It turned out its 300 million over 25 years; you have to be particularly dreamless to enter into a 25-year contract…

     I could take more frozen tree photographs out of the window later…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 19, 2010

        Driving in snow is NOT a topic I’ll have much to say about in DRIVING MISS SHARI since one of the reasons I’m happiest about having moved to California is NOT having to drive in the Ohio snows, especially not on the icy freeway off-ramps. Long ago when I was a high school teacher, I had to negotiate those dangerous ramps every single day during the winter . . . and would come to class thanking God that I’d made it.

        Driving in the rain here isn’t fun, but it’s not ice. I do remember probably my worst driving in snow experience. I was on my way to Stevens Point WI from Chicago IL for a job interview in the middle of March, which just happened to have been the worst snowstorm in years. Six people DIED on the road that I was trying to “see” — I had to pull off every exit! And, of course, the next day [and days after], there was NO new snow, just the bitter cold. I’m so very happy I chose California, rather than Wisconsin.

        BTW, I got a really helpful email offering 10 Safety Tips, directed specifically at women — and mostly in their cars . . . hmmmm . . . sounds to me like I should post it in DRIVING MISS SHARI.
        Yup, that’s what I’m going to do. Glad I was writing this comment 🙂

        Reply
101. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 19, 2010

     Sunday, 19 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Rambling on a Sunday

     It went a little cold last night -18F is cold! I did some photography and took photographs of the snow and some food photographs and that fitted in with my social networking. I did, of course, post a copy of yesterday’s blog on to my own blog. I must check and see if anyone else read it! I tweeted a link to it and posted a link on Facebook so I have a chance of getting readers. My photographs on Facebook were popular and got ‘likes’; even my brother liked them and he used to photograph weddings. I did make a couple of mistakes in that blog. One was with the maths associated with the encryption part of it and I mentioned something that could still be classified; but I doubt if anyone will notice either error.

     Seeing the future

     I dream about the past, present and future and have flashbacks to my dreams. I walked into a building with high ceilings and felt quite excited. I walked into my kitchen and was shocked to see everything had changed. The kitchen part of the dream is no longer a mystery; my kitchen was gutted last year and a new kitchen fitted. The building with high ceilings is curious: I have a vague memory of the door and think it could be a newish building or it could be an old building with a new door!

     I also have spooky flashbacks to another door, the front door to my house. I open the door to a visitor and this flashback bothers me a little. If that one comes true, it could change my life. The problem with predicting the future is when these things will happen. The visitor at my front door won’t happen next year, maybe the year after; I don’t know. The path through the park mentioned the other day is like looking at the future, but I don’t have to take that path; a major change of direction and all my predictions may not come true. I have also found accidents and illness can mean a major change of direction too. I don’t really want a major change in direction until after I have won the lottery of course. 🙂

     Attracting the opposite sex

     I read a blog yesterday about attracting the opposite sex. It was in some African country and the advice didn’t really apply to England, well not as much. The main way to pull in that country was to have a wallet full of credit cards! It does apply to certain places in the UK, come to think of it.

     If you look healthy, that is attractive. I got one good idea and that is to have cards printed with your phone number on and other information that makes the reader think you have a lot of status. This helps enhance your image and the object of your desires also gets your phone number and will call if interested! In Victorian times people had personal cards; those cards were originally popular in China in the 16th century. The carte de visite, wasn’t a visiting card but a small photograph that first became popular in France and they are highly collectable and sought after now. The ones from the American civil war for example are collectors’ items; they not only featured ordinary people but celebrities too. Abraham Lincoln featured on many. I have one carte de visite and it has a very intricate design on the reverse; the reverse is a work of art.

     The wealthy of England in the 19th century would send a servant with a visiting card to someone’s house just to say they were going to visit. They were often quite intricate, bearing coats of arms and intricate designs. I am thinking of doing an email that is like a Christmas card to send later this week. I wonder if we can invent an internet equivalent of a visiting card. We have profiles on LinkedIn and Facebook but something graphical on a website with some fancy art work could suggest status. I would like to see a personal card make a come back. Young men could give them to hot babes; this could be a money spinner! It would require promotion to make it popular and not only acceptable but fashionable. Connecting people is quite popular, look at how many dating sites are on the internet. I was annoyed by one that advertises on Facebook, it told me one of my friends has used the site; such information should be kept confidential. I did a dating thing on one site and matched with her, we had 500 things in common! I had more things in common with a young lady in Thailand though.

     Snow

     The snow on the wall at the front of my house is about 4 inches deep, but the snow on the bird bath in the garden is 8 inches deep; I wonder why it snowed more in the garden? My sister came back from a four week holiday in Tunisia this week; she will be happy! I could start a blog with one of my snow photographs; I added a Merry Christmas message to one! I’ll be designing Christmas cards next!

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 20, 2010

        Long ago I read an article in Reader’s Digest about what features of one gender most attract someone of the opposite gender. The list of female features were pretty much specific body parts. But the top turn on for women was when they guy carried himself like he owned the world. The Confidence Factor rang supreme!

        [Could we start a Facebook Fan page called The Confidence Factor?]

        Reply
102. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 20, 2010

     Monday, 20 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     There are people worse off

     I was asked for a link to my blog the other day by one of my Chinese students. It could have been awkward; I had called her honourable student number one in my blog! They aren’t allowed to connect to WordPress in China and so I escaped any embarrassment. I was reminded that I should be careful naming people in my blogs however. It is 10 years now since the Millennium bug worries; it seems longer to me. I waited until the fuss was all over and then bought a new PC. It was expensive! I decided to go to a local company that I wasn’t too familiar with and have quite a nice setup specially built.

     I should have done some research; they were about to go into liquidation. I lost the onsite warranty on the new computer system and was lucky not to have lost a couple of thousand dollars. The internet has changed since then and I can do things now that I struggled to do just 10 years ago. I knew a teacher then and was reminded of her request to find the son of a very famous writer. I just had another look and it was easy to find information now. His daughter and grandson were homeless and sleeping in a car; I was reminded because it is a bad time to be homeless; the temperatures here dropped to around -20F last night.

     I just found some information about his daughter and it seems she was about to come into some money from her grandfather’s work at the time I was looking for her father. I didn’t find him and I now know he had died a few years earlier. Information is so much more accessible now. It seems the daughter who was homeless was also disabled and planned to give the small fortune she was to receive for rights from her grandfather’s work to a disability charity. I couldn’t find out if she ever got the money or what happened to her. I’ll try to research it a little more, later. It is a curious story and with no way to check the facts. I can’t name the family; but it shows even with millions of dollars, you can still end up homeless. It appears that legal problems tied up the cash for some time.

     We do have to be grateful that we have food and warmth. The weather has meant that the police have advised people only to do essential journeys. This is good advice, but the councils aren’t gritting smaller roads and even garbage trucks aren’t getting around today. Many people have to go to work regardless of what the weather is like; but it makes me think that many could work at home with the technology we now have. I think too little thought goes into office sharing; with office space so expensive many people could work at home perhaps for 4 days and only go into the office one day per week, sharing space with perhaps two colleagues who don’t go in the same day.

     The Internet and the community

     There are some online community newspapers in the UK, but there aren’t many of them and they aren’t very successful. I think new sources of internet news would be welcomed. My brother mentioned the carnival in the town last week; we were talking about the local park where it’s held. The regional newspaper publishes pictures of the carnival after the event and often sends a trailer to sell newspapers and will even support the event; but they don’t publicise it in advance. There is a demand, like in the early 19th century, for a proper community newspaper. This could be done online and it would be much better for one to be published like a magazine that could be read on an EBook reader. I’m looking forward to better EBook readers because I think they will give opportunities to writers and open up new publishing avenues. At the moment EBooks have a sort of bad reputation because they are mostly garbage; but I think that can change as publishing changes and more experienced writers write for the EBook market and publish them.

     Could we start a Facebook Fan page called The Confidence Factor?

     Yes, Shari had another idea for a Facebook page. I have used the cascading idea, where information is cascaded from location to another. We need to get information to people and influence and persuade. I think the final link in the cascade must be a blog or a website. Shari has a blogging website and I have a small website and WordPress blog; we can make one link in the chain a Facebook page. I am considering a new website in the New Year; it would be a challenge because I am thinking of a WordPress site possibly with a forum. I’ll wait until my brain thaws before I try that!

     I like the idea of a Newsletter; I have done one before, but I think it should be simple. I have seen simple well designed newsletters that are sent out periodically and contain hyperlinks to wherever you want people to go. I would put a link in to Shari’s blogs, my blogs, the Facebook page and if there was something new on my friend.s website I wanted to promote or on http://nothingcooking, I would link the appropriate page. I have considered how often to send a newsletter; my previous one was every two weeks. I would make this one periodically – whenever! There is no point in sending out a newsletter if there is no news; only when there is something new and really interesting should we send out the newsletter.

     We need a secondary objective, perhaps to entertain, inform and amuse? I’ll do the amusing bit. We also need a primary objective; in Shari’s case to become rich and famous, in my case just well known enough to make some money! We have to consider how to get subscribers and once we have them; how to keep them. In fact this project would be better done by a team of people all with different areas of expertise. I do know a lot of people who may get involved though and we can send people to any website or blog that we wish. If we sent people to some websites, they would even pay us as affiliates! We would also need to brand the whole idea; that means a name. I was looking for a name for a new website and wanted something that would become a brand and pertain to creativity. I looked at variations on the French for creative – Créatif; the accent could be a problem! I think the most challenging problem would be getting subscribers to a periodic newsletter and unsubscribing people. The blogs, websites, Facebook page and even LinkedIn could be used to get subscribers. This would work if the newsletter, Facebook page, LinkedIn group, blogs and anything else we thought of all had the same brand name Creatifita doesn’t have an accent and is made up and so should be unique. I don’t like it; but you get the idea. The brand name should appeal to writers, photographers, artists, illustrators, students, journalists, media people and anyone who is creative. I think I have just described most of my friends, they may join! 🙂

     I’ve brainstormed my way to well over a 1,000 words; I think one day we will get a name and idea that we like and then we have the beginning of a phenomena…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 21, 2010

        The Key to finding our ”answers” whether for the name of our project; how to become rich & famous; how to find the love-of-your-life, etc. is in our DREAMING . . . since, of course, we are NOT among the dreamless.
        🙂
        The Creativity Factor?
        I just wrote a blog post on How to become an Influencer: http://sharisax.com/2010/12/21/do-you-want-to-be-an-a-list-influencer/
        Maybe some of those ideas will trigger The Great Idea

        Reply
103. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 21, 2010

     Tuesday, 21 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Do you want to be an A-List Influencer?

     I just read a blog with that title here: http://sharisax.com/2010/12/21/do-you-want-to-be-an-a-list-influencer/

     I watched a video about teaching not long ago. I think Shari made that video. I think much of it was lost on me because I’m English. The guy told the students they may end up in his office, he said that repeatedly; I think he was a lawyer and they were journalism students. I assume with the litigation culture of America he was warning them that they may get someone to try to screw them when they got a story wrong. Journalists get things wrong all the time and twist the truth; but you do know how much to twist the truth. I suppose getting screwed by an expensive lawyer is better than getting sued and spending the rest of your career paying out to Britney Spears because you wrote she was fat and can’t sing. I am sceptical about everything though and try not to write outright lies. Influence though is best done bit by bit and subtly; it uses suggestion.

     By a strange coincidence that is what I have been doing; I uploaded some photographs to Facebook and got some comments on them. I got a good comment on my photographs of food and someone liked the soup; egg and chips was even more popular. Who needs canapés when you have good honest food like egg and chips? I also did a Christmas card of sorts and emailed it to a few people. I could have done that better; my address book is missing a lot of email addresses since I upgraded to Windows 7; I couldn’t import addresses into Outlook from Outlook Express. I must make an effort to enter them all manually; I did one yesterday and that took 5 minutes. I may contact HP and see if there is any way to get my all in one scanner, printer and copier actually doing all that stuff. The setup file won’t work in Windows 7 like a lot of things. I really need to scan a photograph.

     My Chinese student considered a job during the summer break this year as a waitress at 3 Yuan an hour. The journalism students want to be journalists, maybe for a newspaper, radio station or on television. Webby is being interviewed on radio by a journalist; she used to be quite a hot babe and was on the local television news. I wonder why she went to radio instead. No prizes for guessing; I’m sorry. They see their future mapped out for them and naively think life will be fair. The student journalists are in an American dream, capitalist society; things are different in a communist Chinese society. The future still appears to be mapped out for my business students though; or is it? My comment when my student told me about the 3 Yuan waitress job? I’ll pay you 50 Yuan to mow my lawn! Response: Really?

     This is suggestion; this is making your students think. Most of their assignments are about leadership and management and management theory; with the emphasis on theory! They look at the sort of companies they may end up working for and quote Chinese authorities on business. Companies so far featured in assignments include Wal-Mart, Carrefour, Coca Cola, Panasonic and Tesco. These are companies that the Chinese want to compete with and graduates will take up management positions and in future Americans will drink Chin-Cola, very cheap and just as good! My student recently got a part time job, just for an hour at 25 Yuan an hour, teaching a middle school child English. I made the comment it was a start, next step High school students at 40 Yuan an hour and eventually interpreting at 1,000 Yuan an hour. She is suddenly working much harder and is now teaching two middle school children. She has just passed a fairly advanced examination in English and is already studying for a more advanced one she wants to take next year. There appears to be little doubt she will do a masters degree at my local university here in England, starting in 2012. She originally wanted to study at Oxford or Cambridge; perhaps my views that the Oxbridge educated are all dreamless and my local university is the best for business had some effect.

     These suggestions are a waste of time unless I have weight. I have known her since High school and helped with homework then. She is doing a presentation today about why learning English is a good thing and how to learn English. I wrote 1,600 words for her on that subject yesterday because she was too tired and unwell; that is a problem, too much work is stressful. She should impress with her presentation. I wrote that if you want to learn French, learn about French cuisine and look at what is nouveau! If you want to learn Italian; talk pizza and spaghetti! In England we eat fish and chips, turkey at Christmas and drink beer! Food is part of culture and so is language. She can now give her fellow students a flavour of England and besides talking about food she can also mention Shakespeare, Dickens’ Christmas carol and H. G. Wells’ Invisible man.

     I am gaining recognition in social media on LinkedIn and Facebook and smaller sites like My Modern Metropolis. I am gaining some weight. I was asked for a bio and photograph for http://www.nothingcooking.com yesterday and will contribute to that site in the New Year. I upload photographs and video to Facebook and a lot of photographs got comments yesterday. I support a few ‘group’ pages. One for my friend’s novel, one for the town I live in, the Nothing Cooking at Niente page, one for disabled people and the cancer charity I wrote a short story for. You have to be prepared to give something in social networking and be fairly humble; no one likes a smart a**e! 🙂 If you missed the point of how my Chinese students thinking has changed; business is working for oneself; not some ‘screw you’ multinational.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 22, 2010

        Mike, I can’t figure out what to comment on. So I’ll just say that I, personally, hope to become an A-List Influencer, which I see as the road to Wealth & Fame . . . on any side of the pond.

        Reply
104. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 22, 2010

     Wednesday, 22 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Facebook

     I need a bull at Farmville and they wander on to my farm and I give them to my friends but no one gives me one! I just posted a link on Facebook to online radio on the BBC; Webby is on the wireless this morning. Oh God, they are playing Christmas music!

     A little story

     Farmer Fred doesn’t have it easy. He is up at before dawn to milk his 100 cows and then he has to hook up an attachment to his tractor to clear snow from the lane or the milk tanker can’t get through. Then he has to tend his other animals and there are always lots of jobs to do around a farm. His milk production has been down too, and he had a word with his neighbour over the farm fence about his problems.

     Farmer Francis next door gave him good advice; he told him the cows were getting old now and he needed new blood. Cows produce milk to feed their young, too, so what he needed was a bull! That was the advice the vet gave Farmer Francis and now he had little calves running around and milk production was going up again! Farmer Francis offered to let Farmer Fred have his bull for a week if Farmer Fred would let him have a prize turkey for Christmas. The deal was done and the bull was put in the field with the cows. Two days later Farmer Fred was chatting over the fence to Farmer Francis and complained that the bull had no interest in the cows what so ever! What could he do? Farmer Francis had the answer; he told Farmer Fred that the vet had given him some pills for this very problem. Later that day Farmer Francis popped around with the pills and Farmer Fred crushed the pills and added them to the bull’s food. It did the trick and all was well. At the end of the week the two farmers were chatting over the farm fence one again:

     “What do you think those pills are made from then?” Farmer Fred asked.

     “They smell just like the sea to me,” replied Farmer Francis.

     “Yeah, I think they taste like seaweed…” 🙂

     Journalists and social media

     Why is social media important for modern journalists? If they just report politics and what the celebrities are doing; they are boring… What are people interested in today? What do they want journalists to write about? Take a look at comments on Facebook and Twitter?

     A few comments I noticed today:

     Twitter:

     Travel chaos as snow returns to the West Midlands.

     Bin crews are still out collecting in Wolverhampton in the snow – but will take a decision street-by-street whether safe for lorry to enter.

     Facebook:

     I wish this snow would bugger off!!

     Two 12kg presents. Hmm, what could they be?

     The richest man in the world is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

     Christmas: I know not everyone will be celebrating at Christmas or maybe you are, but I find it upsetting or distressing. Please remember WAA is here throughout Christmas. I will be here as much as I can and will be really glad of company. Just pop in and say hi so others know you are there and wanting to chat.

     That last comment is from the WAA group on Facebook, a group for the sick and disabled who don’t look forward to Christmas quite the same as everyone else.

     It’s the weather and Christmas here in England! I’m listening to the news, politics, royalty, weather, soccer, business, the world cup and the weather as an after thought… boring…

     The choice is clear, boring establishment journalism or exciting award winning journalism.

     Pulitzer anyone?

     I’ll be back…

     Webby’s on the wireless… 🙂

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 23, 2010

        I RT’d this one: The richest man in the world is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

        Reply
105. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 22, 2010

     If someone puts MST after their name on Twitter – any idea what that means? I have a new follower; I am working my way up to the A-list! 🙂 I need to let everyone know that I am A-list though; I think…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 23, 2010

        No idea about MST, but there are Twitter Groups on LinkedIn. Why not post the question there?
        🙂
        Didn’t find anything on Google.
        We’re already A-List in Our Own Minds: we just need to have more people acknowledge that . . . and us
        🙂

        Reply
106. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 23, 2010

     Thursday, 23 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     The A-list

     I was trying to decide last night who would be on my A-list and who may be on Shari’s A-list. I also need a better plan to influence people.

     Top of my list would be publishers closely followed by editors, film producers and directors. I tend to go after people like I am fishing, first bait the hook! I commented on an article by a financial journalist this morning; it wasn’t as sarcastic as usual. I baited the hook for her editor, but she is following me on Twitter and so my message will be passed on! I need to write a really good blog on finance that blows their garbage out of the water and then they will want my stuff; easy!

     That journalist got some criticism this morning; her article was criticised as being garbage. It is difficult to write on ‘personal’ finance. There are credit cards, bank accounts, insurance, shopping and that is about it. This morning she covered savings accounts that offer pathetic interest rates lower than the rate of inflation. I made a comment and suggested peer to peer lending, which has done quite well for me, but the low interest rates are making it hard to lend out money. I may have to lower my interest rate yet again to keep on lending out money and the return may go as low as 6% soon, which is still better than the banks.

     I can of course write comedy and write about being frugal, so I can do better than them on Frugal Fridays and it’s also a British website and so I can quote bargains in the shops. How did I bait my hook? They did a feature on cheap Christmas presents and I gave a comment that blew their ideas out of the water! First, I said make a personalised Christmas present using your digital camera and computer. I gave a link to the photograph I had on Facebook of the street I live in covered in snow and I put a message on the bottom; I emailed that to friends around the world as a Christmas message. It could be framed though and would make a special present for the person who owned the house in the picture. The photograph frames are around £10 each but I found some A4 frames in Poundland for just a £1 and so my Christmas present would be personalised and cost less than £2 when I had bought the ink, paper and frame. Their cheapest frugal presents were £5 and not anywhere near as good.

     The journalist is following me on twitter probably hoping to steal ideas; at least that is smarter than the things the others are doing. She will learn that I am contributing to http://www.Nothingcooking.com and not only photographs but recipes too. She has probably already seen my cooking photos on Facebook and maybe the link to the Facebook page for ‘Nothing cooking at Niente’.

     The financial website is struggling and so they have started a cookery website too and that is doomed. The reason it’s doomed is they don’t practice what they preach; they write about being frugal and saving money from the most expensive offices in London. They also have A-listed chefs, lots of them, contributing to their new website. I’m not sure if famous names really make that much difference. I put my photographs and Facebook to get a reaction. The frugal ‘egg and chips’ was well received and the bowl of hot soup looked as delicious as it tasted. I think I can do better than canapés and haute cuisine! The haute cuisine chefs also don’t have to be frugal and many people are now looking at saving money; I think it has something to do with the world being in a recession.

     I have to think of more people to target and work out a strategy to bait the publishers and editors. I have tried to get the BBC interested and a major publisher, which does take a little time. I have invested in a new film and added the producer or was it the director to my connections on LinkedIn. They have a car chase in that film; it sounds like it could be a hit. They are also using social networking and have a Facebook page; no prizes for guessing who suggested that! I think sometimes pro-active investing is a good idea.

     Meanwhile

     I still can’t get a bull at Farmville; I think Shari missed the bull joke yesterday. Next time I write that story, I’ll make the pills smell of onions or something… 🙂

     I cleared snow from my car and thawed it yesterday; I hope it will thaw by this afternoon. My friend said he would come this morning; we were going to re-build a desktop computer. I just need some drinks from a local shop; I should go to the supermarket and be frugal. I can’t be bothered and it will be chaos on the roads. Webby did his radio interview; I think he said a couple of things and his wife managed to get a word in. They played bloody Christmas music in the middle of the interview and then the presenter’s cousin was talking about cooking sprouts and then the news flash; followed by continuous weather reports. I tried to record it, but it was a waste of time. I did do a recording and sent it to China; my student friend understood me this time. I replied to a ‘friend’ request on another social network; they are usually scammers but I thought it may be interesting. I shall blog about that in due course; probably…

     I’m adding ‘follow me’ twitter buttons to my website and blog next! I could add a LinkedIn button too?

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 24, 2010

        LinkedIn is where we “met” — this is the first I remember you mentioning it. What’s your latest “take” on LinkedIn?

        Reply
107. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 24, 2010

     Friday, 24 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     LinkedIn

     I had an email from the cancer charity yesterday saying thank you for helping this year; my short story is still on its world tour I think. I saw some B-list celebrities at a carol service on television last night trying to get in the public eye once again; it was quite sickening. I hope my short story helped inspire the imagination of children; I have no wish to profit from it. I have also answered a lot of questions on LinkedIn and helped where I can. I‘ve put some photographs on the Nothing Cooking at Niente Facebook page and hope to help with that website in the New Year. I’ve also written this blog; I suppose I had better get on with today’s!

     T’was Christmas Eve

     It was Christmas Eve and the ‘nephew’ struggled to drive through the snow and walked towards the door to the ‘Scrooge and Marley Payday Loan Company’ carefully trying not to slip on the snow and ice. Once inside, he looked at the small heater in the corner of the outer office and felt sorry for the clerk having to endure such conditions. He said a cheery hello and Merry Christmas as he passed on his way to his uncle’s office. Inside, he greeted his uncle Ebenezer with a cheery, “Merry Christmas, uncle Ebenezer”

     “Sod off, dreamless one, you only want money,” his uncle retorted.

     “It is Christmas; uncle, time to celebrate and be merry!” The nephew continued cheerily.

     “It’s a waste of money; don’t they know there’s a recession? They want more Christmas lights in the streets now. It’s dreamless, hopeless, bloody wasteful…” Scrooge moaned.

     “It brings cheer into peoples’ lives and we have a break from the gloom of winter, uncle. Come to my house tomorrow for lunch; we have a turkey and all the trimmings!” the nephew replied standing as close to the heater as he could get.

     “Bugger off and celebrate if you want,” Scrooge rasped, “I will have warming hot soup. What more could I ask for!”

     The nephew decided to give up on his miserly uncle and returned to the outer office.

     “It’s cold in here Bob Scratchit!” he said cheerily to the clerk.

     “It’s not so bad; my computer overheats and I can warm my hands if I put them near the fan,” Bob Scratchit replied with an air of resignation.

     “Do you have any plans for Christmas, Bob?” the nephew inquired.

     “Oh, yes, I have a whole day off tomorrow, Mr Scrooge said to take the whole day off and come in just for the morning on Boxing Day!” Bob said enthusiastically.

     “How friggin’ generous of the old git.” The nephew quipped sarcastically.

     The voice of Scrooge snarled from his office, “Work, Scratchit, work!”

     The nephew opened the door to leave with an expression of resignation and waved.

     “Have a Merry Christmas,” Bob called after him.

     An icy chill blew through the office as the door was opened making it even colder, Bob held his hands over the fan of his aging computer and savoured the little warmth. The door opened once again and in walked two more gentlemen. They were smartly dressed and Bob stood up to greet them.

     “Is this Scrooge and Marley?” the portly gentleman asked.

     “Yes,” replied Bob, “but Marley has been dead for seven years, seven years today to be exact; spooky!”

     “Very spooky,” the portly gentleman responded, “and Scrooge?”

     “In his office, I’ll show you in,” Bob said gesturing them towards the office of his miserly boss.

     “Good morning, Mr Scrooge?” the portly gentleman inquired once inside.

     “What’s good about it, idiot; its bloody freezing and we are in a recession. What can possibly be good this morning?” Scrooge coughed as he spoke and glared at the numbers on his computer screen.

     “Ah; yes, Scrooge precisely! The recession is hurting everyone, especially the poor and that is why we are here.” the portly man responded enthusiastically.

     “Do you want a loan until payday?” Scrooge asked with glee.

     “Not exactly, we were hoping you would make a contribution to a new charity to help those less fortunate; Mr Scrooge,” the portly man explained.

     “Have they stopped welfare? It’s about time, make the idle work! Scratchit has so many children; he doesn’t even know which ones are his!” Scrooge rasped, poking a finger towards the outer office.

     “It’s Christmas, Scrooge, think of the children, surely you could help; such a successful man as yourself.”

     “Help the dreamless ones and their rugrats?” Scrooge pointed again, “Don’t they get enough! I pay tax and more tax; I loan them money. They would take my only coat and let me freeze! Let them work, open up the workhouses! Where are the soup kitchens? God helps those that help themselves!”

     To be continued… 🙂

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 24, 2010

        Have you read this article: http://mashable.com/2010/12/24/cityville-bigger-farmville . . . and what do you think? Have you played Cityville?

        Reply
        1. 

           Mike Maynard

           December 24, 2010

           I’m not playing anything else. I don’t like the Mafia one and couldn’t figure out Texas hold ’em poker. Pop ups are driving me crazy and I’ll go into third place soon. I am still on level 101 though and so could write an eBook: Farmville 101 lol.

           I have to remind myself of the next part of my story before tomorrow. I have had Chinese students singing Jingle Bells just; they are celebrating even though they don’t celebrate Christmas. They give each other apples (gift wrapped).

           Reply
108. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 25, 2010

     Saturday, 25 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Marley’s Ghost

     Scrooge refused to donate to a charity that helped the dreamless ones and soon had Bob Scratchit show the gentlemen out. With money tight they did good business that Christmas Eve, lending out money at an extortionate rate of interest to people who had run out of money before pay day.

     Scrooge reminded Scratchit that he expected him in bright and early on Sunday morning. People would want to borrow and he would be only too pleased to lend them money when he could lend them eighty pounds and get one hundred back on pay day!

     Scrooge locked up the offices and snarled, “Humbug!” as Bob Scratchit wished him Merry Christmas before trekking home. Scrooge walked through the cold dark streets to the house of his late partner Jacob Marley. It was dark and the snow crunched under his feet; people crossed the street rather than walk past him. He could barely see the people across the street as freezing fog descended upon the town. He came to the large old house that formerly belonged to Jacob Marley and carefully walked up the steps glistening with ice that led to the solid wooden door. Inside, he climbed the wide staircase, the rooms downstairs Scrooge rented out as offices, but kept one upstairs for himself. The door to his room creaked as he opened it; he slammed it shut behind him locking it and unusually bolting the heavy wooden door too. His room was cold and he could see ice on the window; the low energy light bulb barely gave enough light to see where the fireplace was. Scrooge lit a fire with old newspapers and just one log; sitting in his armchair by the most miserable of fires he leaned forward trying to feel the little warmth from the burning log.

     The house was silent and Scrooge was alone and miserable; then he heard a noise from downstairs. It was the cellar door; it opened and then slammed shut; he heard footsteps, someone was climbing the stairs dragging chains behind them. Scrooge checked the door; it was firmly locked and bolted. The footsteps drew near and the sound of the chains dragging up the steps made Scrooge fearful. Then he saw it; an apparition. It was Jacob Marley his late partner; well the ghost of Jacob Marley!

     “What do you want Jacob?” Scrooge asked, his voice creaking with fear.

     “You recognise me then, Ebenezer?” the ghost replied.

     “It is my imagination, it is the cheese I ate making me see things,” Scrooge retorted.

     “No, Ebenezer, I am here to warn you,” the ghost replied.

     “You were a good friend Jacob and business partner, where have you been these past seven years and what is it you wish to warn me of?”

     “I have wandered dragging theses chains for seven long years Ebenezer; I walk through this house and through our offices. I have been invisible to you until now but have watched and waited.” The voice of the ghost echoed around the sparsely furnished room.

     “Spooky,” Scrooge remarked.

     “I am here to warn you, Ebenezer of three spirits, three more ghosts who will come to haunt you, Ebenezer. The first will come the next night when the church clock strikes one; the next will come at midnight on the following night and again the third spirit will come on the next night. Be warned Ebenezer Scrooge.”

     The ghost walked to the window, dragging his chains across the room. He pointed out of the window at the street below and said, “Look Ebenezer, at the street below.”

     Scrooge went over to the window and rubbing ice from the window looked out and saw phantoms, dreamless ghosts were walking the street below. They seemed to fade and disappear into the icy fog that had descended on the street. Scrooge turned back to where the ghost of Jacob Marley had been and he was gone.

     Scrooge poked the fire for a little more warm and checked the door, it was locked and bolted.

     “Dreamless,” he said doubting what he had seen and heard and went to bed.

     To be continued… 🙂

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 25, 2010

        No here’s the REAL CHALLENGE, you’ve got to make the DREAMS distinctively YOU!! One “help” would have been if you were a soap opera fan of “Young and the Restless” because the old meany Victor had the Scrooge Nightmare experience, and he, too, did a 180 — however, he DID NOT forgive his son Adam, whom he had framed for a murder that hadn’t been committed . . . the plot sickens, I mean, thickens, or did I?

        BTW, I’m trying to do a story on YELP. Do you use it? or Angie’s List? or Foursquare or any local check-in, coupon, review sites?

        Reply
109. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 25, 2010

     I shall consider that story. It takes too long to write anyway. I haven’t used Yelp or Angie’s list; I don’t think they are so popular in the UK. You may find this article useful though about Angie’s list:

     http://smallbiztrends.com/2010/02/reasons-contractors-register-angie%E2%80%99s-list-better-business-bureau.html

     Reply
110. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 26, 2010

     Sunday, 26 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Boxing Day Blues

     It’s Boxing Day here in England. It’s cold although it has warmed from -9 in the night to probably just below freezing. There were people betting yesterday on a ‘White Christmas’; snow must fall on the London Weather Centre to win. They are the dreamless ones; it didn’t snow and if it did it didn’t fall on the London Weather Centre. It’s sod’s law that if you bet on snow on Christmas day that we won’t get any.

     I was going to write about Scrooge’s ghost of Christmas past; did you know that ghost was a dwarf? He was not Happy; Scrooge said “Which one are you then?” I had forgotten how hard Dickens is to read; we are so used to rubbish films depicting the story on television. There were two on this year: one was a musical and the other, a more serious one with Patrick Stewart; I didn’t watch either.

     I’m not well; it is probably the cold. I even missed my Christmas dinner; I’ll celebrate next week. I was unwell in 2008 and had my bag packed but checked it and threw a few more things in, then phoned for the paramedics to cart me off to hospital. I tried to call them and the phone didn’t work, it was fine up until then and it’s been fine ever since –- that is sod’s law. I tried my cell phone, no bloody signal, sod’s law. I tried an old phone that was still connected in my bedroom and got through on a very crackly line. I waited and waited at the hospital to see someone and the senior doctor had a quick look at me and told a junior to give me a couple of injections and send me home. That’s sod’s law. Then I got the taxi driver from hell that took me into the city because he already had a fare; brought me back here at midnight and then overcharged me. More sod’s law. I did learn from the hell of 2008 though and found a taxi firm to use regularly after that.

     I hope I feel better by this afternoon, just in case I get a phone call saying my guests are coming tomorrow; if it’s cancelled, I won’t be disappointed. It will be a shame about all the food, but I’m not bothered. I don’t have any plates to put it on anyway, if my sister phones, I must remember to ask if she has any paper plates. That’s another story about the plates and cutlery; they were given to a charity shop, I think – I still haven’t worked out why.

     I had a message on a social network I don’t use much. I’m always cautious of that one because they seem to think it is a dating site. There are a lot of scammers on there. I replied and I think I will regret it; she is looking for husband! She wants honesty; I have already worked out she lied about her age, but that is what women do and she only deducted one year.

     I saw my younger brothers on Christmas Eve; it appears my older brother is doing well. A company tried to cheat him, but he threatened to sue and he appears to have emerged from the mess quite well off.

     I think a group on LinkedIn is a good idea. I see articles on websites and blogs; what is the difference? I found they pay more for articles and often try to get blogs for free. We need to enhance the image of the blog and show they can be very professional. That’s one New Year’s resolution fixed up. I need a few more now, things to do apart from winning the lottery. I thought they would put the lottery draw on television last night; I was looking forward to that. I knew I wouldn’t win, but there is always an element of doubt. I’ll win in July or maybe May — I’m not that sure… 🙂

     I need to make more predictions for 2011. So far I have predicted that a major European bank will have a crisis and that will spread to the international banking system. The value of the pound will go up against other currencies; the price of gold will continue to rise. I think gold could go through the $2,000 an ounce barrier in 2011. I think things look better for Europe than the USA; even the Chinese government is now in favour of supporting Europe as opposed to buying more US government bonds.

     I also predicted that Shari will go on a trip by air; it appears she is going to Acapulco in January; I can also predict she is having a shorter hair style but you would wouldn’t you if you were going somewhere warm like Acapulco. I don’t think that will be the only overseas trip of 2011 though; we will see. The good times start on the 3rd of February with the Chinese New Year; I hope I feel better before then!

     I need to do some cleaning this afternoon, just I case I do have guests. I hate cleaning; I’m losing the will to live now. I wonder if my clone is enjoying the Christmas parties in the hospital. If he’s singing carols and stuff with those hot nurses, I hope he can sing better than me. I could phone and ask if he fancies taking over my life for a few days while I go back to bed…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 27, 2010

        Chicken Soup, Mike.
        However, this Isagenix stuff is wonderful. I can’t make medical claims, but knock on wood [American cliche], I’m getting through the cold/flu season . . . fingers crossed.
        [Not to mention having lost 17 pounds, 55 points on the bad cholesteral, and healing of the psoraisis on my fingers :-)))))]
        When I do get really influential, I have something Very Worthwhile to promote.
        :-))))
        So I predict THAT will happen in 2011

        Reply
111. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 26, 2010

     Here are a few ideas. I was bored… I have visitors tomorrow, but not until the afternoon; so things will probably be as usual. I have to thaw food and cook things like chicken drumsticks. I cleaned the bathroom; it wasn’t easy – the mop is close to the water leak and frozen in. It’s a pity we can’t use SESAME for the name of this thing – but I can’t make it work.

     Sharisax’s Elite Syndication Tribe

     What to blog about; subjects.

     Cooking and food
     Environmental matters
     Relationships
     Travel
     Cars
     Goals
     Hospital and clones
     The dreamless ones, God loves them; he made so many.
     Wealth and wealth creation
     Enriching peoples lives including your own
     Psychology
     The use of graphics and photos in blogs

     Driving people to your blogs

     Inward links
     Syndication
     Cross links, thread to thread and blog to blog
     Outward links
     Twitter
     Facebook
     LinkedIn

     Blogging sites and methods

     Blogger
     Wordpess.com
     Wordpress on your own web space
     Hub pages

     Miscellaneous

     Podcasts (how to record a MP3)
     Video embedding
     Making videos

     Box files
     PayPal donate buttons
     Moving on to paid blogging – how much to charge?
     Copy, pasting and editing
     Using semi colons and Oxford commas
     Motivation and inspiration
     Making and embedding banners with hyperlinks
     Banner signatures in emails with hyperlinks to blogs

     Reply
     1. 

        Mike Maynard

        December 26, 2010

        I forgot Pando – 1 Gb files embedded on your blog or website for visitors to download; you can share with Box files; but Pando is free up to 1 Gb. It’s cool too, I have used it to send lots of stuff over the Internet.

        Using free web space provided by your ISP and hot linking may be handy to some people. I do that and it’s free.

        Reply
     2. 

        sharisax

        December 27, 2010

        Mike, this LinkedIn group is going to be EXCLUSIVE, so I may want to change the word from Elite to Exclusive. I want our “tribe” to be a small team of people working to support each other. I already belong to a tribe where most of the blogs are worthless — and I don’t want to waste my time reading them. SO . . . this is NOT a group that I want to go Viral. I just want it for a few of my favorite people to build their skills AND their spheres of influence.

        Reply
112. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 27, 2010

     Monday, 27 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     The Dreamless, God must love them; he made so many.

     The latest scientific research is now blaming the world’s economic problems on the dreamless. It seems too many have gained positions of power and they have identified a new sub-species that they have called ‘bandits’.

     I went to the ATM one Sunday afternoon recently and after I had removed the money and my card, I heard shouting nearby. I was returning to my car when a dozen young men appeared shouting something about soccer. They had obviously been to a soccer match the previous day and met up at lunchtime on the Sunday to celebrate the win and get drunk. They were now in the process of yobbish behaviour to annoy the community which would be followed by more bad behaviour towards their family and friends and then as a finale, a Monday morning hangover that makes them late for work and annoys their employer.

     This is typical behaviour of the dreamless ones; it serves no one, not them, not their family, not their friends, not their community and not their employer. It is totally dreamless and is initiated by watching 22 young overpaid, over-sexed young dreamless ones kick a ball of wind around a field on a Saturday afternoon.

     The head of the dreamless ones in the UK travelled to Geneva to support the bid for England to host the World Cup in England in 2018. David Cameron was most disappointed when they awarded it to Russia. I was elated; we could let them have the Olympics, too, and save another few billion.

     Meanwhile, one of the ‘bandits’ identified as a dreamless ‘bandit’ was Bernard Madoff, whose $65,000,000,000 Ponzi scheme is still being sorted out as the dreamless sue the dreamless.

     The laws of dreamlessness:

     First law:

     We always underestimate the number of dreamless ones.

     We always underestimate the damage dreamless ones can do.

     Second Law:

     The probability of a person being dreamless is independent of all other characteristics they may possess.

     Third Law:

     A dreamless one is someone who causes damage to another person, or a group of people, without any advantage accruing to himself (or herself) — or even with some resultant self-damage.

     Fourth Law:

     Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of the dreamless ones. They constantly forget that at any moment, and in any circumstance, associating with the dreamless ones invariably constitutes an expensive mistake.

     Final Law:

     A dreamless one is the most dangerous person in existence.

     Pre-cognition

     From the New Scientist:
     
     Extraordinary claims don’t come much more extraordinary than this: events that haven’t yet happened can influence our behaviour.
     Parapsychologists have made outlandish claims about precognition – knowledge of unpredictable future events – for years. But the fringe phenomenon is about to get a mainstream airing: a paper providing evidence for its existence has been accepted for publication by the leading social psychology journal.
     What’s more, sceptical psychologists who have pored over a preprint of the paper say they can’t find any significant flaws. “My personal view is that this is ridiculous and can’t be true,” says Joachim Krueger of Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, who has blogged about the work on the Psychology Today website. “Going after the methodology and the experimental design is the first line of attack. But frankly, I didn’t see anything. Everything seemed to be in good order.”

     I will win the lottery in 2011.

     Tomorrow: How to write a blog and cook chicken at the same time; just done that. I’m cooking turkey now. I wonder how long King Prawns take to thaw.

     I added a friend on Facebook, my oldest brother’s grand-daughter. She is probably wondering who the cool guy is; who writes, takes photographs, makes videos, blogs, does social media and most importantly gave her a bull this morning for Farmville. 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 28, 2010

        Mike, I got confused by all your “laws” but I went ahead and “published” them anyway. Maybe one of our two readers can clarify them for me. BTW, I hope someone asks me to “continue” the story I posted Tuesday. Sorry I didn’t get to your Monday story on Monday. I went to two yoga classes and in between taught social media lessons all day. No “excuse,” just thought I’d share.

        Reply
113. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 28, 2010

     Tuesday, 28 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Everything is relative

     I went outside yesterday and there was still ice and snow around but my car had thawed; it was 3C and I thought it was warm. It was, after the sub zero temperatures of late. It is forecast to go to 8C this afternoon and up to an amazing 9C tomorrow. I shall be sunbathing in the garden at 9C! Perhaps not, I had trouble finding a place to put food for the birds not long ago that was ice free…

     Yesterday…

     I had my guests and did all the food myself. One of the guests who came last year passed away and so his wife didn’t come because of the memories that it may bring back and her granddaughter stayed with her. It was a shame, the granddaughter plays Farmville and I was going to tell her the latest cheat.

     My spooky ESP trick worked quite well. Basically they had to watch a video and Ivan tried to send a message telepathically so they could select the correct card that had been chosen from three cards. My niece got the card right on the first attempt; spooky, then got it right on the second part; spookier; on the final test that only 1% of the population pass she selected the correct card again; extremely spooky… Then after Charlotte had predicted the cards correctly, her dad tried it and being a little smarter suspected a trick. He correctly guessed the first card; spooky and the second card; spookier and the final card – really incredibly spooky. He couldn’t work it out, but he was close; he knew it was computer trickery. Then my sister’s turn and the same result and just to add interest I explained the phenomenon was genetic! So how would my sister’s gentleman friend do on the ESP; telepathy test? FAIL! 🙂 I was kind; I let him get the third one right…

     I did feel sorry for him; my sister had starved him in preparation for the forthcoming feast at my house. I expected a feeding frenzy, but had to put the food out, then take my photographs of it and let the poor guy eat; he was fading away…

     In years gone by, I am the one to have had the most boring year; this year was different! I had the most interesting year of everyone, except my sister who was just back from four weeks in Tunisia. I took a few photographs for http://www.NothingCooking.com. which we will be working on in the New Year. My brother as usual gave me more photographic tips and took a photograph of me that I may use as a profile picture on http://www.NothingCooking.com. I could even use that for Twitter if I crop it to head and shoulders. My brother is a good photographer — just too mean to buy a new digital camera!

     He does tell funny stories though. His story about going to buy a 40-inch television to watch this year’s World Cup was good. He took the CEO of the company he worked for with him. He bought the TV but the salesman asked for his debit card, took his bank details and set up accidental damage insurance without his consent. His boss suggested he just take the insurance in case the television was damaged on the way home and cancel it later; but my brother wanted to hit the salesman for being so cheeky as to add insurance so sneakily. I can imagine his boss trying to calm him down in a store full of people. He plays golf with his boss; this is since he had a minor heart attack and he also watches his cholesterol and diet. He only ate about four plates of food last night and drank about half a bottle of scotch; he did mix diet coke with the scotch though. Most of the food was low fat or we could have been sending him to coronary care right after the feeding frenzy.

     I did good food though and the bread was bought fresh, frozen and thawed slowly and was ready just in time. I don’t eat bread and hated even spreading it; but everyone said how nice it was. The chicken drumsticks were good and I have some left for lunch; they were served with iceberg lettuce; tomatoes, spring onions; cucumber, cheddar cheese, prawns, crisps, pickle, salad cream and to compliment the cold food there was hot fries. No one appeared to want the chocolates after the feeding frenzy and the booze.

     Google Street view came in handy; it’s much easier to show people places, than going out in the cold. I tried to explain how my sister and brother could speak to their grandchildren using Windows Live and webcams; I think further instruction may be required. That requires quite a fast connection and I have had trouble with connection speeds to China recently; it could be because the Internet has been so busy; some ISP’s are deliberately slowing traffic to maintain bandwidth. I also chatted to my sister-in-law about my Chinese students. She is head of information at the university and they will go there in 2012. It appears the university makes a lot of money taking Chinese students and has schools in Chinese universities. I even recorded the conversation with my dictation machine so my Chinese student can try to understand it; it could be hard with everyone talking at once though.

     I shall now make goals for 2011. I am open to suggestions. I may write another comedy novel, my psychological thriller is a little too raunchy; I may have to wait until I’m famous or dead before I can get away with that. I need a character; I always start with one person. Most good stories do; Pip in Great Expectations, Scrooge in a Christmas Carol; Harry Potter in the Harry Potter books; the other characters although important are peripheral. I need something very unusual that hasn’t been done before that I can turn in to a phenomenon; promote it later on the internet with a website and videos. I thought about a modern version of Great Expectations; perhaps a comedy version. I could have some kid have a mysterious benefactor who not only provides money for him or her to better them selves but spooky advice too? I’ll go for a male character; young girls are too difficult; I end up researching lip gloss and stuff.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 28, 2010

        Here’s what came to mind when you were brainstorming about your next novel, i.e. the part about beginning with a great character: one friend who sells costume jewelry suggests that we begin with the particular necklace and build the clothing around it. Same as your novel’s story, right? Anyway, if I were you, I’d begin with yesterday’s Feeding Frenzy and capitalize on the characters, the food, the photos, and what went on in everyone’s mind during dinner.
        🙂
        BTW, I would have loved to see the photos of the dinner. You could even imagine what the friend-who-passed-away was doing while you all ate? You know, in heaven or wherever he is now.

        Reply
114. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 28, 2010

     This is briefly how the structure of education is in the UK. I need the US equivalent. What year would a 14 year old be in for example. What examinations do they take and when do they leave? The leaving age in the UK is 16, but many stay on for ‘6th form’ education to take Advanced level GCSE’s (General Certificate of Education). The age they have to be to drive would help to; 17 in the UK. Any other insights in education for the 14 to 18 age group would be handy. I have an idea…

     4-5 Reception
     EYFS

     5-6 Year 1 KS1
     6-7 Year 2
     KS1
     Teacher assessments in English, maths and science
     7-8 Year 3 KS2
     8-9 Year 4
     KS2

     9-10 Year 5
     KS2

     10-11 Year 6
     KS2
     National tests and teacher assessments in English, maths and science
     11-12 Year 7 KS3 Ongoing teacher assessments
     12-13 Year 8 KS3 Ongoing teacher assessments
     13-14 Year 9 KS3 Teacher assessments in English, maths and science and the other foundation subjects
     14-15 Year 10 KS4 Some children take GCSEs
     15-16 Year 11 KS4 Most children take GCSEs or other national qualifications

     Reply
115. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 29, 2010

     Wednesday, 29 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Farmville

     Today could see a major breakthrough in Farmville secrets. I have a bull; at last! I also have a plan to make the latest trick even better. I’m in fourth place and if I make the trick even better I could go back in the lead. I have lots of coins, FV cash and lots of fuel and so in a good position for a comeback. I will of course share this secret with you; both of you…

     Meanwhile…

     I still have some woman wanting to marry me or something; I sent her a photo, if that doesn’t put her off then she is weird. One of my Chinese students said I was very handsome; I’ll help her get an eye test when she comes to England. I have a new idea for a novel or maybe a novella. Amazon wants novellas for the Kindle; it seems many people haven’t time to read a novel. I have a different theory about that. When was the last time you read a good book and when was it published or listened to good music for that matter? We go back centuries and we have Mozart and Bach, decades and we have Abba and the Beatles; weeks and we have bloody rap music… I can’t think of a modern novel that can compete with Charles Dickens or H. G. Wells or even Shakespeare for that matter. When I studied history, I learned about things like the Window Tax and Candle Tax; these taxes were fair. The bigger your house the richer you were and the more windows you had (until you bricked them up) and the more candles you used (especially if you bricked up your windows). What do they do now; they increase tax on everything for rich and poor alike. We have bad law, bad taxes, horrible music and literature that is written for people with the intellect of a five year old. The world becomes more dreamless every day and we dumb down everything. I really hate Microsoft, but they have taken some action. They make software for the dreamless expensive and give away software for programming for free; there are no instructions with it, but it is free.

     I nearly forgot; I may write a novel about a young man who has a group on a major social networking site, a very exclusive group of course and writes blogs. He also leads an interesting life and receives an anonymous package that changes his life — that and going to a new school. On his first day at the new school the most popular girl in school teases him and asks, “Aren’t you interested in sex then?” He replies, “I knew the girls at this school were keen, but I didn’t expect you to offer on the first day!” I could make this a comedy and make it appeal to teenagers; that is a good market. I have to think about a website, Facebook Fan page and SEO before I even start to name characters and places. The whole novel needs to be littered with keywords. It will give me something to do through 2011 and I like thinking up jokes at 3 in the morning.

     I’ll sort photographs later for http://www.nothingcooking.com. I think there is a no follow on that link; I’ll have to put a link on my website when we get it going. I’ll check for that no follow in the HTML on my WordPress blog. I have to edit that too and add a follow me button for Twitter to the about me bit. I have a new photo now; I could change my profile picture! Now that is a scary thought… I have an order to place with Amazon before the weekend. The VAT goes up on the 1st of January. I need new cutlery and hand warmers for my Reynaud’s syndrome; but shall I have a Satellite Navigation thingy for my car? I usually navigate by going pub to pub; it worked for years but they keep demolishing pubs. I go to the hospital, it’s easy. I drive past the Myvod on to the Railway Tavern (about to be demolished) and then down to the traffic lights by the Brown Lion; turn left and the hospital is a few hundred yards down. My sister used to say she navigated by going from church to church; I can’t see that working. There is only a mosque and a Hindu temple between here and the hospital. I could go past the Kingdom Hall of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, but God help you if you get stuck in traffic around there. I doubt if a Sat Nav says turn left at the Brown Lion and won’t give me an alternative route if the dreamless are queuing at the traffic lights by the Brown Lion… I need lamp shades too, they have them at Amazon; the price is a little high; even in the sale. I want Tiffany style, Art Deco lamp shades; having good taste can be bloody expensive…

     Hugh Hefner is getting married to a young model at 85 years old; there is hope for me yet. I may have to win the lottery first though. I mentioned that when my family was here and the jokes that followed were quick fire; where will he put her with the other 300 models he has living with him? She can never remember his name and calls him, hey you…

     News

     News this week included the tragic news that 650 pigs died in a fire near Antwerp; there was a lovely smell of roast pork though…

     I can be evil too

     I just read an article on saving money in the New Year and had to comment; my comment reads:
     
     Forget the penny-pinching ideas and save big in 2010. Did you mean in 2011? I’m reading this on Wednesday, 29th of December and the article is dated the 30th! 🙂 Smokers can save £4 a month on life insurance; they can save at least £20 a month if they give up smoking…

     I know Donna has a hangover…

     Donna is the editor! 🙂 She will be really keen to publish my stuff now!

     I have made some better comments though. One of the writers is trying hard; she is even following me on Twitter to pick up a few tips.

     Back to Farmville

     You have to attract attention in social networking. I need a bigger Dairy in Farmville; I have a bull now. I asked my friends to help. I said I need a bigger Dairy for the New Year; or a bigger Diary? I actually have a diary for 2011; in fact I have two this year. I always struggle to get a decent diary at this time of year. This one was kindly donated and is a sort of desk diary; they are quite expensive.

     Christmas presents.

     Have you noticed that the older you get the more you spend on presents and the less presents you receive. It works out, though, because you are usually past caring; I am anyway. I have my new diary, a kitchen clock complete with timer and a new sweater; there is always a new sweater, some traditions never change. I must look at that later and see if it’s really horrific or I can actually risk wearing it. I nearly gave two children money twice; I think the stress got to me. They were lucky to get any. I haven’t seen them this year; I would go and see them but it’s hard to get them to answer the door. The loud dreamless rap music doesn’t help and if I do get inside, I really hate breathing in cat dandruff…

     My niece wants to go into medicine; she must have watched House; my great niece wants to go into pathology; she watches CSI. I don’t think any of them watch porno movies…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 30, 2010

        I grew up reading for hours . . . instead of “playing” until one of my teachers told my mom that I needed to go out and play more. Can you imagine? Anyway, I don’t read nearly enough these days — at least “off line” reading. But I love going to the library. It gives me such a charge to be among all the books and then take out a bunch of them. The problem is when I don’t get to read many, even if I renew them once or twice. However, as I was trying to renew three contemporary novels, I learned that one was on hold — and I couldn’t renew it. I still had one day, so I started to read it, and I loved it, so I kept it an extra day and was able to finish it [even though I had to pay the grand sum of $0.30 for the overdue charge.

        It was Sue Miller’s The Lake Shore Limited. Good story, great characters, lots for me to identify with, and nicely written.
        A play, a playwright, an actor, 9/11, and how art and life reflect one another.

        Reply
116. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 30, 2010

     Thursday, 30 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     I read a lot but it’s all research; I don’t have time for fiction much and hate it when I start reading fiction and it’s total crap. I read some of Dickens Christmas Carol as research; that was hard going. I should have watched the film. I don’t like videos on non-fiction things; I can read the stuff faster. I do like audio books though.

     Pre-cognitions

     I wrote about pre-cognitions the other day and quoted a new paper on the subject that was the subject of an article in New Scientist. When I had my visitors the other day, they said my oldest brother had sent out Christmas cards printed from a mailing list. There were some criticisms and I said mine was handwritten. I looked through all the cards to show them but couldn’t find it; it was hand written though; it arrived this morning; spooky…

     I read this earlier:
     
     In 2011 Santander may finally sort out the integration of the three UK banks it has bought; Abbey, Alliance & Leicester and Bradford & Bingley. If that happens, customer service may improve and more customers could be tempted by some of the excellent products that Santander offers.

     A lot of Santander executives ‘jumped ship’ in 2010 and went to work for another major bank; what do they know that the customers don’t? I just added ‘In 2011’ to that quote; I couldn’t stand the bad grammar… You may remember I predicted a major European bank would cause a major problem for the International banking system in 2011. Banco Santander is fairly major and they have a very colourful chief executive.

     I also read a prediction that the Bank of England may raise the base rate .5% late in 2011; try January! I think it may be .25 or .5% in January and this with have a positive effect on the value of the pound against the Euro and US dollar; but may have a negative effect on equities. I don’t think equities are too much to worry about though. It is a great time for foreign investors to climb on board what will be a good ride for the FTSE 100; it went up 10.8% in 2010 and 8% this month alone. I predict another 10% rise in 2011; add this to the increase in value of the pound and foreign investors could be looking at returns of 20% in 2011. I don’t think things will be quite so rosy on Wall Street though. I wouldn’t write the US economy off though; it is due for a dose of realism in 2011. My Chinese student said a couple of interesting things recently; “I like Pizza” and “I like Coca Cola”. You must export or die; America, China is a big market.

     What are the things to invest in 2011? Retail, especially supermarkets like Tesco and Wal-Mart. I think people will continue to eat out less and spend more on food in supermarkets; they will also shun luxury goods in favour of supermarket own brands and cheap clothing. Is investing in luxury goods a bad investment? It is now but as the famous brands take a beating, share prices will drop and you can get in at the bottom of the market and then they may look at where the money is for luxury goods; yes, China again. The rich in China have so much money; they don’t know what to do with it.

     Property too is worth watching, China has a property bubble and will tighten mortgages on property so as to not go the way of Japan; that went into a decade of recession and are still in it. Ireland too has severe problems and a surplus of housing in some areas as speculators got greedy and created a bubble. The sub prime property problem in the US will continue to haunt for some time too. In the UK, I think the buy to let parasites will get their fingers severely burnt with rising interest rates. 🙂

     Meanwhile…

     Did I mention that I write on finance and economics sometimes; I can be spookily accurate in my predictions. I now have a bull at Farmville and even had a cow give birth to a calf; I haven’t figured out how this helps me make lots of cash. The young lady who contacted me and wanted to be ‘my friend’ through a social networking site is definitely looking for a husband. She thinks we are made for each other! She did make a slight error in yesterdays email though; she wrote it in German. She said she regularly visits her elderly grandma but I suspect she is a long way away from Grandma in Germany. She doesn’t even know I’m a writer yet; I know her date of birth, I did some research… 🙂

     This link is a little long but it may interest Shari; it’s a white paper on the Art of Social Sales:

     http://whitepapers.zdnet.com/thankyou.aspx?&promo=550&tag=nl.e550&cval=wit2.zdnet&ctype=default&docid=1457475&view=1457475&load=1&load=1&authId=Hj1GfLcP84+n5bfpO5raBvqIFwOhvHD5XnwZ9ImhZyTB3pJ3SP/awRWjdV+XK9Se

     I hope that link works.

     Shopping, in the pre-VAT increase Sales

     I may do some shopping at Amazon later. I need cutlery and hand warmers. I need more plates too and lamp shades for my living room. The cutlery and plates went missing when my late sister was sick and went to charity shops; she not only bought stuff. she donated stuff — like half the cutlery. The cutlery sets are cheap at Amazon and I need hand warmer for when it goes sub zero; a dinner service would be too expensive. The Tiffany style art deco lamp shades are an exorbitant price. I don’t think I’ll bother with a SAT NAV, I’ll find my way by spookier means.

     I emailed my Bio, picture and some food photographs for http://www.nothingcooking.com yesterday. I am starting to form ideas in my mind for a new comedy novel; I have my protagonist or is that antagonist? I’m never sure which is which; I have the good guy anyway and main character. It would be protagonist probably; that derives from the Greek; the first character on in a Greek play or something. I think in a novel, you should mention the main character before everything else; the reader knows what the hell it’s about then. I try to get to the point, I hate filler, but I do get criticised for mentioning food and drink too much. On that note; I will have an early lunch…

     I uploaded a UFO picture to Facebook last night; now that is social networking… I used my graphics tablet to do that, complete with vapour trails coming out of the clouds!

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        December 31, 2010

        First off, do you read the lovemoney blog? Their wrap-up of 2010 concluded that the Euro was Stupid:
        5. The Euro was an extremely stupid idea
        After what’s happened in 2010, there can be no doubt that the Euro was a dumb idea. Iceland – outside the Euro – has been able to make a modest recovery from its horrendous meltdown in 2008, but Ireland – inside the Euro – is still stuck in the mire.
        If Ireland had its own currency, it could let its currency fall and that would boost economic growth. (A cheaper currency helps a country sell its exports.) And if Ireland hadn’t joined the euro in the first place, its problems wouldn’t be so great .
        Here’s why:
        The primary problem with the Euro is that it means you can only have one interest rate across most of Europe. So when Ireland desperately needed a big interest rate rise to curb a massive property boom, it got very little and interest rates stayed too low. As a result, Irish banks lent too much money based on inflated property values. When the bubble eventually burst, the banks were in a right old mess.
        Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the Euro was the only cause of Ireland’s problems. After all, British has had its own crisis and we stayed outside the Euro. However, compared to Ireland we don’t have as many empty property developments and our banks’ problems didn’t arise primarily from over-lending on UK property
        In other words, the Euro made things much worse for Ireland than would otherwise have been the case.

        The link worked but I didn’t get the white paper
        🙁

        Re: your comic novel AND you’re not reading fiction. You MUST read Confederacy of Dunces — if you haven’t already. funniest book EVER!!!

        Reply
        1. 

           Mike Maynard

           December 31, 2010

           I can’t find that blog on the http://www.Lovemoney.com site.

           Try this link for that white paper. I could read it but not download it; I get that with PDF’s since moving to Windows 7.

           http://i.zdnet.com/whitepapers/Oracle_The_Art_Of_Social_Sales.pdf

           Reply
117. 

     Mike Maynard

     December 31, 2010

     Friday, 31 December 2010, Sierra Oscar

     Happy New Year to my fans; both of you…

     It’s the last day of this year. Everyone in Café Niente appears to have a cold; so does my neighbour. I posted this note in Café Niente; most of them are still in bed…
     
     When your throat hurts badly, its T-lymphocytes attacking the virus and bacteria; they are the Sherman tanks of the immune system and you’re about to get better! 🙂 I’m trying to make New Year resolutions so I can write a blog about it. In 2010, I wrote a story for charity, re-wrote my novel, wrote a story for BBC radio, made videos, designed a website, edited lots of assignments for students (mostly Chinese), started a WordPress blog, joined Twitter, took lots of photographs and started Chinese cooking with a wok. I’ve started taking photos for Nothing Cooking at Niente; but really I need a challenge… 🙂

     I’m not sure about the Lovemoney blog; I read Rachel Wait’s article on Lovemoney yesterday that were suggestions for 2011 and put a long comment on being frugal in 2011. I had a blog published earlier in the year on that site; Donna the editor mangled it and cut the humour and also put in Oxford commas, took out semi colons and worst of all made it legally inaccurate. I corrected an article this week; it was supposed to be about 2011 and they got the date wrong and the article was dated the 30th and published on the 29th; I said maybe Donna has a hangover. That site relies on comments; they are often more interesting than the articles and blogs; the CEO is an idiot and their new site Lovefood.com is going the same way; too up-market; they have learned nothing. The Frugal Friday stuff is popular, but they have to do expensive stuff with celebrity chefs. The problems in Ireland aren’t really the Euro; the USA does OK with a common currency for all States but does have a problem with infrastructure where housing is concerned and planning. Ireland gave planning permission for housing that should never have been built; I agree though that interest rates across Europe were too low.

     Pre-cognitions

     I researched some predictions from psychics and that sort of thing last night. One was that 1 in 5 people in the UK will live to their 100th birthday; another prediction was the world will end in November 2011; I’ll go with the former predication. The only prediction I read that I agreed with was one about an earthquake; but most predictions put it in California. I think it will be the San Andreas Fault; but out at sea. It won’t affect me, I have no intention of going on any beach; I would probably come back with shell shock… It could be serious of course, we saw the earthquake in Haiti in 2010 and the earthquake at sea caused a tsunami to hit Chile. What is my advice? Be a boy scout… Be prepared…

     January

     Shari is off to Acapulco in January, right after she gets a new hairstyle; shorter of course. The last month of the Chinese New year starts next week and will be the final phase before the good times roll from February the 3rd. The Chinese New Year is good for Shari and for me and so that is something to look forward to. I just checked my new diary; the phases of the moon aren’t in, but there is a new moon next week and that is the beginning of the final phase of this Chinese year. I shall be starting a new novel, a comedy and writing for Nothing Cooking at Niente and of course taking photographs. I have decided to buy a barbecue; my family wants me to have a barbecue in the summer. That will cost a fortune, just in weed killer for the garden. I expect January to be fairly quiet; my Chinese students will have a vacation for Chinese New Year. I think the rise is VAT will be a damp squid — no one cares. I think the UK will stay in hibernation mode for January and life will continue as usual; we will moan about the weather and plan a Spring of Discontent. Someone said the snow has finished but still stock up on food and board yourself in; that could be good advice. I heard something about Sarah Palin standing for president of the United States; scary… I can predict a challenge to Obama during 2011 and he won’t be president for a second term.

     February

     This will be a more interesting month as my birthday will be over and done with and I’ll be adjusting to being another year into being old, wise and senile. I think the Nothing Cooking website should make some progress that month and Shari’s new group on LinkedIn may start to get interesting by then. I just looked for something in history on my browser; I must have visited 1,000 web pages yesterday. I shall go back to feed burner and learn about RSS and feeds. I also predict that in February interesting things will happen concerning my family. I saw photographs of a couple of great nephews I didn’t know about on Facebook yesterday; that could be the start of something interesting. I think my new novel should be taking shape by the end of February too. I even think this website will be more popular by then, I saw statistics yesterday; I think you should tell all your friends about this site and I mean both of you…

     March

     I see protests start in March in the UK as the weather improves beginning with the Welsh and later with the Irish complaining about cuts; the students will once again take to the streets when they have a week off university and the disabled will complain about benefit cuts. There will also be protests about Human rights; I shall probably support those and the disability protests. Things will get even worse after the spring equinox as unemployment goes up and more government workers find they have no job. I also see problems and protests at the BBC and in the media in general just starting. On the other side of the pond, QE 2 is considered to be a failure and with the Euro, Chinese Yuan and Pound sterling on the rise against the US dollar; economic policy is in need of a rethink. The job cuts really begin with defence spending cuts, mainly on the manufacture of armaments; but this is done stealthily and there isn’t much protest. Politicians from both parties come to agreements with big business to cut Federal spending drastically and increase taxes; expect a Federal VAT to be discussed if not introduced.

     If anyone is the slightest bit interested in my predictions for 2011 and comment; I may do some more tomorrow. April is interesting; people really take to the streets in the UK.

     I win the lottery in May! 🙂
     I buy a new car in June! 🙂
     I have a barbecue in July! 🙂
     Keira Knightley drops in August! 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
118. 

     sharisax

     December 31, 2010

     Check it out, Mike: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/12/mikes-predictions-2011-yours/
     So now we “need” your predictions for the rest of the year 🙂

     What are you doing for New Year’s? Have fun!!!!

     Reply
119. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 1, 2011

     Saturday, 01 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     My first blog of the New Year

     If you were to compare my profile page on Myyearbook to the one on Facebook, which one seems the best? I also have 930,000,000 in virtual money on MYB too. They got greedy though and introduced VIP status and asked people to pay; many people deserted and went to Facebook. I do think they have good ideas and some good games; if someone took the best of MYB and the best of Facebook and started a new social networking site with maybe a touch of a few other ideas that have been around, it could be a major success.

     http://www.myyearbook.com/mike10613

     Precognitions

     I will go on with some predictions for 2011; I think I got to April yesterday. If you have read previous blogs then you know the science behind this and also that I tend to get the prediction right but not always the timing. I think the most important time of the year will be the solstice in June. That is the most important time for me anyway; I intend to win the lottery! 🙂 The win will come either before of after the solstice; which will of course be the longest day. I expect that will be at the end of May or maybe the beginning of July.

     The world economy will dominate the news in April, with QE 2 a failure and economic re-think will take place in the US. That will mean big spending cuts especially on armaments. I don’t fully understand the system for electing the President of the United States but that will be debated and the role of the Electoral College will be questioned. I think that will start perhaps in April and will be a continuing debate throughout the year. It could be damaging to the Obama administration. The world economy will continue to be shaky and some of the long term effects will become evident. Cuts in spending in health and safety will mean accidents and disasters will dominate the news after the solstice in June. If you’re getting on a plane after that in late June, July or August in particular, check the airline’s safety record; avoid planes with a lot of colour on them. If there is a large image of red and blue; I would really avoid getting on that plane!

     Banking will be in the news too after the June solstice — with a major European bank collapsing and rumours of fraud affecting not just that bank but putting banks around the world under the spotlight and there will be calls for regulation and auditors. Stock markets will be the next big news item and again there will be accusations of insider dealing and fraud and calls for regulation.

     The good news in 2011 is there will be progress against terrorism and the conflict in Afghanistan will improve. The AIM (Alternative Investment Market) on the London Stock Exchange will do well, but companies that supply government should be avoided. The same applies to all stock markets; all governments will cut spending at some time in 2011 except maybe the BRIC nations. BRIC is of course; Brazil, Russia, India and China. I think all those nations will do well; but growth in Russia should be much better as they enjoy better crops following the drought of 2010. Commodity prices will tend to soar throughout the world though; mainly caused by a soaring oil price. Gold will continue to be a good investment and could go as high as $2,000 an ounce. Demand for manufactured goods will drop as people become more frugal to cope with the higher gasoline prices; this cuts exports for China. The debate about the value of the Chinese Yuan will continue as their exports drop and commodities continue to rise in price. China will try to stimulate domestic demand and there will be opportunities there for other nations to export to China. The value of the pound sterling will increase with the increase in interest rates; offsetting the effect of the Chinese Yuan, also rising in value.

     One of my spookier predictions for 2011 is that a government will announce plans to build an entirely new city. It would have to be a country with a lot of open space; perhaps one of the BRIC nations or even the USA? There will be investment opportunities associated with that announcement especially in the water, energy and of course; construction industries.

     Meanwhile…

     I had a letter and card from one of my students in China; she thanked me for helping her and giving her encouragement when she felt disappointed and despairing. The first thing she wants to do when she comes to England is to visit me. My friend ( in Holland) just sent me two notes on Facebook with Farmville tips; her English isn’t very good. She is good at Farmville though and a lot of people play it. I need to perfect these ‘Farmville secrets’ and write a blog – then tweet the link. I think I have to wait to try this ‘Farmville secret’ the bull isn’t ready! I need more bulls too, I think!

     I have a protagonist for my new comedy novel and lots of antagonists and a story of sorts. The main thing is good funny lines. I have to get it reasonably accurate and believable too. I tried to get a name for him last night. I have a thing about names; I want a name that is unique on the Internet. I also tend to give characters initials like mine; mine are MM, Captain Jack was SS before he changed his name and then JJ after he changed his name. I may call this character Jamie but I can’t decide on a surname. I searched for one on the Internet and found a blog written a few years ago by a young girl; she has no morals but is a very good writer and really smart. She sounded very unhappy.

     I could write a novella; they will be more popular this year… 🙂

     I had Natural Reader read this to me; it’s good for finding errors.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 1, 2011

        Interesting predictions 🙂
        1) I’m going to add this to the first set of predictions, i.e. the most recent post of yours: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/12/mikes-predictions-2011-yours/
        As a comment.
        2) Should we start this as your New Blog-within-a-blog . . . and add your new posts to this new “site”?
        3) Where did you get the idea for a new city? Why not write a novella about that. If the story is good enough, maybe one of the BRIC countries will use it as a model
        🙂
        4) I was also interested in how you new the young blogger had no morals . . .

        Reply
        1. 

           Mike Maynard

           January 1, 2011

           I have no idea where to put the predictions. They could be a in a separate thread and every time I predict something else I could put them there?

           I think the new city will be built, when and where though? I think it will be futuristic, broadband in every building and that sort of thing. I think energy and water will be the big issue; it will need to be near a good source of water and be very energy efficient.

           The blogger? Perhaps you would like to read what she says about herself and judge for yourself, I’m not surprised she has to take Xanax: http://www.sexeducated.blogspot.com/

           Reply
120. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 2, 2011

     Sunday, 02 January 2011. Sierra Oscar

     Being frugal

     I just wrote a comment on Lovemoney.com after reading their article on saving money. People collectively in the UK owe a couple of trillion pounds which is more than GDP for a year. That works out at an average income of £100,000 each for every worker. I know lots of people who earn less than £15,000 and there are some on several million who kick a bag of wind around a field for a living. Anyway, here is my comment:
     
     Being frugal is just habit; cut alcohol or at least cut down. Think, before you buy food; taking sandwiches or even something hot in a flask is cheaper than eating out. Stop smoking, if you haven’t already; that will save a fortune. Drive carefully and frugally, don’t make unnecessary journeys. Never go to the supermarket on a Sunday – that’s when I go! Don’t borrow, save and invest. Always look for offers and make good use of your store cupboards and the freezer to buy in bulk.
     I’m having my wallet surgically removed from my pocket tomorrow so I can buy a few things before the VAT goes up; every small saving helps. Who is buying a barbecue this weather? I am; they are on special offer; I bought a winter sweater last summer. 🙂

     I did some frugal tips for 2011 the other day on Lovemoney that included planting things in April in pots on the window sill; fresh salad in summer from the garden or a planter is cheap and delicious. It goes well with barbecued food too.

     Farmville

     The latest Farmville secrets need a whole blog all to themselves. It basically means a switch from arable farming to more animal intensive farming. I switched from growing lots of peas to growing grapes to make wine. Of course the dairy produces milk, fertiliser (I’m not going there) and if you have a bull or two; little calves. For some strange reason putting a bull in with the cows before milking improves milk production and you get calves. You need bulls! I have a new strategy, if someone gives me a gift; they are working their farm – check their page for stray bulls and grab one. I got two that way! Now on to horses; you harvest them for their horse hair or something; anyway, you can now get a stallion! Yes, you can have little horses running around your farm and if you put the stallion with the horses before harvesting them you get more cash. I don’t know if this strategy works with chickens; I’ll leave you to work that one out: I’m not going there either. There is way too much sex in Farmville now…

     Precognitions

     I’m going to do another spooky prediction. I will attempt to explain better how this precognitive stuff works. Imagine an image, which has yet to appear on television. It flashes on the TV for a fraction of a second; it is an aeroplane. It is on the news, something bad has happened; you have a feeling; an emotion. How do we describe that sinking feeling in that fraction of a second? Think about it…

     When I was a child I hung out with a friend who lived a couple of streets away and the other kids hung out with us. I don’t remember any of their names except one; he was much younger than us and followed us around; a cheeky kid. He went into computing for a while and then found his vocation; he became a policeman. I don’t remember much of those days, just images in my mind; the street and the house where my aunt and uncle lived. There was one day I remember though; news came through from a guy with a short wave radio set up. The president of the United States had been assassinated and we got the news direct from Dallas, Texas. This wasn’t too long after World War II and people feared it could lead to war and speculated that it could be those pesky Ruskies! When things like that happen and major events we get different emotions; the feeling I had then was different to what I felt when I saw 9/11; different to what I saw when I saw the aftermath of the Asian Tsunami; different from what I felt when I saw the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake.

     It is those intense feelings that give me a clue to what the images mean. The aircraft on the runway, where is it? I think it is somewhere that is important to me; somewhere I have friends and so the feeling is more intense. When does it come on the news? What happened? What is the large logo on the side of the plane? Which airline is it? There are more questions than answers…

     North Korea has recently threatened a Holy War against the South using nuclear weapons. If they do the planned nuclear test and then make a serious threat and the world is on a nuclear knife edge; how will you feel when that comes on the news? I think that may happen, but the North will collapse as China refuses to back their hopeless ally and Korea is unified as one nation. I think a change of leadership in North Korea could trigger the abandonment of communism and a fall of the division between North and South that will be similar to the fall of the Berlin Wall. When? How the hell would I know? 🙂

     Meanwhile…

     I read some blogs yesterday and as usual stole ideas for mine. One was by a young girl describing her visit to Korea and the public baths there in particular. She used a lot of photographs. I had problems with photographs in my blog and links but have found that I am better if I switch to HTML. I am now considering a blog with lots of photographs; I could do food! My food photos are getting better; I took a good picture of eggs, chips and salad yesterday. The young girls were also ‘following’ each others blogs and appear to have their own ‘tribe’; numbering around fifty of them. They all have things in common, they all appear to be interested in writing, they are creative and most take photographs and most of them have yet to discover the wonders of pressing the shift key on a computer keyboard…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 2, 2011

        Disappointing news about North Korea since I love my Hyundai Genesis, but they’ve got lots of plants in in the US, so American workers probably made mine, right?

        Reply
        1. 

           Mike Maynard

           January 2, 2011

           Pay attention: re-unification means cheap labour for S. Korea and jobs for N. Korea; they will flock to Hyundai plants for jobs so parts for your car will stay cheap. Cheap labour = cheap parts. People went across China for jobs when Hong Kong was handed to the Chinese by the British after our 100 year lease ran out. Now they are heading back to Chinese enterprise zones; the communists like Coca Cola; I tried it in the ’60s; it isn’t too bad with scotch in it…

           Reply
121. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 3, 2011

     Monday, 03 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     The Millionaire Farmer guide

     The guide to playing Farmville made me laugh. Quote:

     Data! Every Crop, Tree, Animal, Coin, and XP You Need to Know from level 1 to 70.

     I’m on level 102! Make a million coins? I pay that much for a cow! A million coin villa? I had one, I sold it; I needed the land to grow stuff; it’s a farm not a retirement home. I have about 40 friends playing Farmville, some are useless but 9 are over level 70 and so that ‘book’ will be useless. If I wrote a book on playing Farmville it would probably be out of date by the time I had finished it. Soon I will be able to expand my farm and make it bigger; I think this could be expensive. The feature is locked now; but I’ll get some coins ready to expand. I can do a co-op in a faster time than anyone else; I explained it to one of my friends after she told me about making lots of coins from the dairies. I did a blog on my WordPress blog; I may do a Farmville blog! I think that could kill sales of his dodgy eBook on Farmville. I’ll keep it simple and just explain how to get a big farm and loads of coins.

     Online shopping

     I think it’s tomorrow that the VAT goes up and so I did shopping yesterday. I have ordered a barbecue for the summer and cutlery to replace the cutlery that went missing. I’m having some weird hand warmer things too that you recharge in the microwave. They may stop my fingers hurting when it goes sub zero. My friend said he would drop in today; he wants to go out and take photographs; he was going to order an expensive camera online; he would save even more VAT. He actually made a good choice, it has an amazing zoom; much better than mine and does HD video too. He wants to do a book of photographs; I suggested an eBook. I read a blog with lots of photographs and so I added one at the weekend to my blog. I linked it to photo bucket, it was easier. I need to upload some more photographs and incorporate them in my WordPress blogs. I took photos in a park last year with my friend; it was bloody freezing. I am not doing that again, but the winter colours were good. I haven’t been out much recently; this isn’t good; I need a change of scene. I don’t do unnecessary journeys, it wastes fuel; but this is necessary for my mental health I think.

     Twitter

     I found the journalist following me on Twitter is an assistant editor and so I was nice; I put tips on their website about being frugal. I have another follower, someone into social media. The company has a Twitter account and so it could be any of the three people who work there. It is based in Belgium; Amsterdam, I think. I’ll write more stuff on social networking when I think of something useful; everyone and their dog is an expert on social networking now.

     Meanwhile…

     I just checked my farm; I need about 100 of those million coin cows. I have 250,000 coins; this could take a while…

     I’m into a discussion with Chinese student on International economic problems now.

     I’ll be back… 🙂

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 5, 2011

        So you are “not nice” on Twitter?? I hadn’t know that. BTW since I’m in a hotel waiting for tomorrow morning’s plane ride, I’m not changing your semicolons.

        We’ll be thinking of your subzero weather, etc. in the 88 degree Mexican beach areas.
        🙂

        Reply
122. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 4, 2011

     Tuesday, 04 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     I just read this headline: Blue chips open 2001 in buoyant mood

     I think that that guy is a bit behind the times…

     I predicted a few months ago that stock markets would rise after the Christmas and New Year holiday:

     Market Movers
     FTSE 100 6,000.41 +1.70%
     techMARK 1,842.17 +1.29%

     FTSE 250 11,684.72 +1.09%
     Big gains in the US overnight and a strong display in Asia this morning have encouraged a rush of buying in London.
     I would expect the US market to drop back a little as the week goes on.
     Economic news can impact on business and does; this is the latest that may impact on social networking:
     
     Facebook has raised $500m from Goldman Sachs and a Russian investment firm amid increasing pressure on its founder to take the company public. The social networking site has refused to comment on reports that Goldman Sachs has invested $450m and Digital Sky Technologies $50m in a deal thought to value the business at $50bn (£32bn), the Times reports.

     You can remember that stuff for next year, buy stock before Christmas; sell in the New Year. Bank of America went up over 6% yesterday; not a bad return…

     China

     Yesterday’s blog was short because I didn’t have much to write about and my Chinese student needed help with a couple of assignments. The first was about a new movie; that wasn’t too serious and I just gave her a link to a website about it. The second was an analysis of two articles in China Daily; the first article was about the impact of economic policy in the USA particularly quantitative easing. The second was about the impact of fiscal tightening in China and also other things affecting business. The Chinese government has introduced controls on the number of new cars registered in Shanghai and this will impact on the car industry but also on industries that supply the car industry. Steel will be affected, as will aluminium; which is an industry that already had energy problems. Aluminium production requires vast quantities of electricity that appears to be in short supply. I did some sentences with correct grammar for in an analysis of both articles. I had a headache because of sinusitis and my Chinese student was feeling dizzy because of sinusitis; at least I was warm.

     Back to the future
     While I was doing that, my friend phoned and asked if I wanted to go out taking photographs or do something. He had also offered to help me put my desktop computer back together and try to repair it. It was cold and so we eventually ended up doing the computer. I hate electronics! My friend has done more of that sort of thing in the past few years and I did electronics at college and so it worked out quite well. The computer had a CPU that was on its way out and a fault on the lead to the hard drive; I hate multiple faults. We eventually got it working but it’s slow, out of three CPU’s only one worked; it had to be the slowest of the three of course. My experience proved useful when I was able to find a bent pin on the CPU and straighten it and fit it fairly easily; my friend had the patience to change the motherboard while I prepared dinner. He got a free meal, a can of beer and chocolates for helping; he did quite well! He tends to suffer from stress and depression but is a lot better when he is doing something useful rather than vegetating in front of a television. He is buying a new camera and I suggested he take photographs and do an eBook as a travel guide. There are lots of good places to go in England that people don’t know about; I can get to places like Warwick castle or Shakespeare’s birth place in less than an hour. The pub near the Stratford upon Avon Theatre gets lots of celebrities in when they are performing at the theatre and is popular with Americans. I got a reminder of why I don’t do electronics anymore yesterday anyway; I use the gadgets not fix them!

     Frugality

     I think I will write a special blog about being frugal; they don’t tax you on saving money. I ordered a barbecue for the summer that was bout a 1/3 off the price or more. I get around 35% off most things. This means if I buy £5,000 worth of goods in a year; I only pay £3,250. On the other hand I could pay the £5,000 and get £7,500 in goods! That makes you think doesn’t it! Being frugal is a matter of habit; it becomes automatic. I don’t even waste food; I threw some out yesterday, but was careful to put it where it would feed the birds. The problem with a blog on being frugal is everyone is different and especially in different countries; but some things like cooking a meal saves money in most countries compared to eating out. I just read about someone buying Christmas lights for next year; 75% off; that is a good saving. I think they live in Texas though…

     Meanwhile

     The forecast said it would be warmer today, it doesn’t feel warmer yet. My neighbour phoned instead of coming around, she sounded like she still has a cold and her car is in the garage. She is going shopping and asked if I needed anything; that saves me another job I hate. If she stops doing the shopping, I’ll order on the Internet and have it delivered!

     My friend’s car was frozen again last night when he left, ice not only on the outside but the inside of the windows too. He was trying to scrap it off with a debit card. I used a scraper and de-icer; I wonder what he does when I’m not around? My sister had computer problems too and I spent half an hour on the phone talking to her. I think it’s either no broadband or the router needs to be reset. I’m not fixing it; I gave up electronics…

     So, get your Christmas cards, wrapping paper and lights for Christmas 2011 and save up to 75%. If you save 75% on everything throughout 2011, you will be on your way to being rich! One small step for man is one giant leap for frugality. I’m not bothered about being famous, who wants the paparazzi following them to the chip shop? I may write a frugal blog later… I have a frugal assistant editor following me on Twitter.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 5, 2011

        Here’s how you are going to write your BOOKS [ebook or otherwise]
        On your blog, pick a day to concentrate on one the topics, e.g., Frugal living on Monday, Stocks on Tuesday, Farmville on Wednesdays, etc. Then you can have all the relevant info focused on each post and it will make it easier to put the BOOKS together.
        One plan could be to have different notebooks on each topic and keep notes. Then when it was the particular day, you would write about that topic.
        What do you think?

        Reply
123. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 5, 2011

     Wednesday, 05 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     It’s Wednesday; I’ve forgotten what I’m supposed to write about on a Wednesday already. I’ll make an effort on Friday; Frugal Friday I can remember.

     I like this story:
     
     Outside England’s Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were for cars (£1.40), for buses (about £7).

     Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

     The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo’s own responsibility.

     The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.

     The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.

     Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy … is a man who’d apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about £560 per day — for 25 years.

     Assuming 7 days a week, these amounted to just over 7 million pounds … and no one even knew his name.

     More weird news…
     
     (Reuters) – A would-be suicide jumper in New York was alive on Monday after leaping from a ninth-floor window but landing in a giant heap of garbage uncollected since the city’s massive snowstorm a week ago.
     
     Vangelis Kapatos, 26, was hospitalized in critical but stable condition after jumping from his apartment on West 45th Street on Sunday afternoon, authorities said.
     Sanitation workers have not collected trash since the December 26 storm dumped more than a foot and a half of snow on the city. Mounds of garbage several feet high, line many sidewalks.
     “Everybody is complaining that the trash hasn’t been picked up,” Kapatos’ aunt said on Monday. “But me, I’m thankful that it was never picked up.”
     Police said the trash bags below broke Kapatos’ fall and that he left no suicide note before jumping.

     Bureaucrats and snow; you can’t even end it all now…

     More news…
     
     NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) – MySpace is preparing to unveil a major round of layoffs as early as this month in its latest restructuring step, the Wall Street Journal reported Monday.

     The social-networking site has roughly 1,100 employees, but the report didn’t detail the amount of likely job cuts. Both MySpace and the Wall Street Journal are owned by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp.

     Remember when Myspace was the ‘hot’ website before news International took over and Facebook took off. It got too complicated. It was making too much money as well from advertising. I see Facebook going the same way eventually. I would like to see a cross between Facebook and Geocities; Geocities was too complicated too.

     I just had an email from a student here in England; I thought it would be a request for help but it’s more a subtle suggestion she would be pleased if I offered!

     VAT (Value Added Tax) went up to 20% in the UK yesterday and so it’s a hot topic. That means 17% of the cost of ‘luxuries’ will now be tax. There is no VAT on newspapers, magazines or books (it would be a brave politician who even suggested taxing newspapers), there is no VAT on housing, children’s clothes or staple foods; the VAT on gas and electricity stays at 5%. I worked out that people spend around $1,700 every week, on average, on luxuries. That is workers only; about 25,000,000 of them. The rest of the population is children, the unemployed, sick and disabled and the elderly. The unemployed get around $100 a week to live on and sometimes extra for housing; that is a hot topic too. “Make them work” the headlines scream. In well off areas where education is good unemployment is below 1%, in inner cities it is as high as 8%; some cities are little more than ghettos. I saw a suggestion earlier that if an unemployed person is seen smoking a cigarette their benefits should be stopped; that guy is particularly dreamless.

     My friend gets around seventy pounds a week to live on because he has psychiatric problems. He gets stressed and depressed; I’m not surprised. He watches too much television; he will go really nuts if he doesn’t start doing something else.
     I could write topical stuff on Wednesday. It’s easier, I can copy and paste!

     Did you have your hair cut?
     
     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 5, 2011

        PERFECT!!
        Then it’s “settled” — Wednesday is “news” day and I can assign my social media students to read & comment. How cool is that for BOTH of us!!!!!
        We’ll get more than two readers
        🙂

        Reply
124. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 6, 2011

     Thursday, 06 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Cabbages and Cameras

     Value Added Tax went up in the UK this week and my friend was going to buy a camera before the tax went up. A lot of financial journalists were advising buying before the price went up; were they right? No, they are the dreamless ones. Think like a businessman and not a journalist. You own a camera shop and you’re in competition with the local supermarket that also sells digital cameras. You buy in compact cameras wholesale and pay wholesale price plus VAT (input tax) and then you add your profit (adding value) then you add VAT and display the cameras at £99.99. It’s January; you had a bad December because of the snow and the supermarket is cutting prices. You could put the price of the cameras up to £102.99 or leave them at £99.99 and make a smaller profit. The supermarket can afford to make a smaller profit and weather the snow! You could try to sell more cameras and even cut the price. I checked the prices of lots of consumer goods; retailers are leaving prices as they are or where the product is about to be replaced; cutting prices and even cutting out their profit margin to get rid of old stock. You would probably decide to leave the price at £99.99 and would probably be at the mercy of the weather; you would sell more if people came out to shop and less if it snowed again.

     You decide after a week of trading to go to the supermarket and decide to fill the car up with petrol; the price of petrol has gone up from £1.10 to £1.25; how do they work that out? The VAT increase was added this week and the duty went up too. You just got screwed by the dreamless ones in government; twice. You are doing the shopping and the price of cabbages has gone from 79p to 99p; that can’t be right! They were affected by the weather; it’s been snowing. Then they cost more to transport to the supermarket and the cost of petrol and diesel has gone up with the duty and VAT increase. This can’t be right, there is no VAT on cabbages; they are food, the VAT increase is on luxury goods like cameras!

     Explanation:

     This tax increase was introduced by the Oxbridge educated dreamless ones; it appears to be a tax on luxuries but is really a tax on the poor; sick, elderly and disabled. The Oxbridge ‘Old boys’ network is an exclusive ‘tribe’; you are not a member.

     Tribes

     When I think of ‘tribes’; I think of native American Indians, but there are lots of ‘tribes’. They aren’t always obvious and the ‘old boys’ of Oxbridge have control of government in the UK. The President of the United States went to Harvard and so is a member of a very different elite tribe; but still a ‘tribe’. He is not just a member of that ‘tribe’ however but several and the Democratic Party itself is a ‘tribe’. Another member of the Harvard tribe is the CEO of Goldman Sachs; Lloyd Craig Blankfein. As head of Goldman Sachs he has recently asked members of his ‘tribe’ to invest a minimum of $3,000,000 in Facebook. Facebook was founded by Mark Zuckerberg, he too is a member of the Harvard ‘tribe’. Peter Andreas Thiel; co-founded PayPal and is a member of the same ‘tribe’ and an early investor in Facebook; an investment that is now worth over $1 billion. No; he didn’t go to Harvard; he went to Stanford. Oxford or Cambridge, it makes no difference; same ‘tribe’. They went to Harvard, Stanford or Yale; all the same ‘tribe’. I have made some connections; now where does this guy in Russia fit in who is investing in Goldman Sachs?

     ‘Tribes’ are based on common interests and that interest usually involves money and power. It can also involve sexuality; it can pay to be gay or religious. Become a Catholic like Tony Blair did or join the Society of Jesus; you may have to go through some training and initiation though. Members of Opus Dei; apparently do all kinds of weird things like beating themselves; but it’s better than the initiation for becoming gay; I think. Then of course there are the Freemasons and the Grand Order of Buffalos.

     Then you have ‘secret societies’. Yale university has lots; three just for ‘seniors’. There is the ‘skull and bones’, ‘scroll and key’ and ‘wolf’s head’; these are societies where students sit around reading poetry and planning the takeover of the world.

     Today’s subject in case you missed it was the influence of the dreamless ones and their ‘tribes’.

     News pertaining to this blog just came in; I’ll save it for ‘news day’ – next Wednesday!

     Peter Thiel is actually on the board of Facebook; regulators are looking at the Goldman Sachs investment.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 7, 2011

        Haven’t bought anything yet here in Mexico — besides food — so I’m not certain about their prices . . . or about very much going on in the world at large. But that’s the way it is supposed to be on vacation.

        Reply
125. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 7, 2011

     Friday, 07 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Frugal Friday

     If you earn money, you pay tax and pay tax again when you spend it. There is no tax on being frugal; not yet anyway…

     It’s around 4C in England; it’s warmer in my fridge! My living room is a little chilly; but it’s OK, I’m not in there. I’m sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and writing. Why heat a room when I’m not in it? I have the radiator on in here, the hallway and the bathroom. That is enough, I live alone and I can turn the radiator on in my bedroom later, so it will be nice and warm after I take a shower and get ready for bed. I’m frugal with energy; ow much does this save me? I recently changed energy suppliers and returned to my original energy supplier after the new one conned me and immediately put prices up after assuring me they wouldn’t. The old energy company suddenly found me a ‘better tariff’; they also refunded me £200 that they had overcharged me by fixing my direct debit too high. I calculate that turning off radiators when not needed saved around 40% off my energy bill. The heating is also timed and I admit my hands are cold while it’s warming up in the morning and I’m trying to do my email. I decided to use a heat pack, one of those gel things this morning to warm my hands; it was easier and cheaper than altering the timer. I also have internal draught proofing on door between rooms; this can keep heat in some rooms and not others; it saves money on heating but will also keep some rooms cool in summer.

     Driving

     The lower the gear, the higher the revs you need and so I use a high gear when possible and I usually use 5th gear on my car. You waste fuel braking too, if I see a red light, I take my foot of the accelerator; there is no point in racing up to a red light and hitting the brakes, it won’t change to green any faster. It wastes fuel and you also waste fuel by doing unnecessary journeys. If you accelerate fast or brake hard; you waste fuel. Most cars in the UK have smaller engines than mine, but I use less fuel. You also put a lot of wear and tear on the car by driving badly. My car is 13 years old; I had the engine overhauled last year and this year I’ll have a new cam belt because preventative maintenance works out cheaper. The mechanic who maintains it says it will last years; it is cheaper of course if you maintain it yourself.

     Do It Yourself

     All skills are worth money because they save you money. I have a home office with a desktop computer and the computer needed a repair and I took it apart and got it working a few days ago. I did electronics at college and so it saved me money. You don’t have to do a college course to plant a few seeds on a tray. I have taken tomato seeds out of a tomato put them on a tissue to dry out and planted them in Spring and had lots of tomato plants to grow in the garden. You can also grow things like runner beans up canes easily in summer; although like the tomato seeds start them off on a window sill in April or May. You can get more ambitious; many people now are keeping chickens for eggs and some even keep fish like carp to eat in ponds! Try growing herbs on a window sill as a start to becoming green and frugal.

     Furniture restoration

     Restoring furniture is fairly specialised but if you get a wall paper scraper and scrape the varnish off an old table, chair or chest and re-varnish it; it will save you a small fortune and it’s not difficult. A lot of modern furniture is very flimsy and old furniture is stylish and sturdy; so why not have a go? I have a freezer that is 20 years old and still going well; I expect it to continue to do so; it’s better than a modern freezer. It was looking a bit rough and so it was cleaned and rubbed over with ‘wet and dry’ (get that from a car spares shop – like sandpaper) and then it was coated with Plasti-coat and it looks like new. That saved a few quid and the environment.

     Shopping

     Always look for bargains when shopping. I buy 3 packs of chicken a week, they are £4 each or 3 for £10; a 16% saving on the 3 pack. I can freeze them and it meant I had a stock at Christmas and could buy other things for guests I was having. You can also buy things out of season. I bought a winter sweater in August; 33% off; a jet washer 50% off on the same day. I’ve just ordered a barbecue for the summer at the beginning of January. I tend to save around 30% on average on just about everything. I even bought 4 pairs of jeans when they were 75% off; that was a good buy. If there isn’t a discount then look for one; it could be in the form of buying in bulk to save on postage and packing.

     Cooking

     I’m doing a lot of cooking for a new cooking website and I will provide a link to that in another blog. I see people order expensive pizza and wonder why they don’t buy a round loaf, toast it and put toppings on and cook under the grill. I have cooked stir fry in a pan but decided to buy a wok because it’s heavier and I can get it hotter; it was also half price… I like stir fry, but on a frugal Friday what can be more frugal than egg and chips (fries). I posted some food pictures on Facebook and the one of eggs and chips was the one people commented on! They also liked the photographs of the Christmas buffet that had salmon, prawns, chicken drumsticks and lots of salad arrange in glass bowls. That was fairly frugal; although I admit prawns are expensive. You are only limited by your imagination when it comes to food and break convention; the most popular thing on that buffet was the oven chips straight from the oven!

     Please comment and I’ll try to do another Frugal blog next week…

     Super Saturday tomorrow…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        Mike Maynard

        January 7, 2011

        It has just stopped snowing here; what’s the weather like in Acapulco?
        
        Acapulco’s warm water bay and pristine beaches have been irresistible to humans since the days of the Aztec Empire. The Spanish immediately recognized the strategic advantages of the perfectly formed bay and used it as their base to explore across the Pacific. In fact, Acapulco was the only port in the New World authorized to receive Spanish galleons from the Philippines and China.

        Like we care – we love snow…

        Reply
126. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 7, 2011

     Last Friday I predicted cuts in spending on armaments by the US government; from Reuter’s today:
     
     (Reuters) – The United States plans to cut $78 billion in defense spending over five years, including a reduction of up to 47,000 troops, in a politically contentious move that would trim the government’s growing budget deficit.

     I can’t wait to post the bit about me winning the lottery.

     I wonder if Shari had her hair cut? Anyone on the beach in Acapulco – please take a photo…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 8, 2011

        2) Shari has no plans to cut her hair 🙂
        2) I am on my way to Acapulco TOMORROW . . . on a 4-5 hour bus ride from Zihautanejo

        Reply
127. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 8, 2011

     Saturday, 08 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Satirical Saturday

     Yes, it is satire day when I can write about anything I like. I wonder how hot the sun is in Acapulco. Could it singe your hair or give you split ends?

     This is a paragraph from a group comment on LinkedIn; I admit it is out of context:
     
     Imperative equations are not full equations in science, and so will provide estrangement by predicament of rule (the uncertainty choice of finite reactions), The dividing trend is the causality factor in an isolated cofaction..the underlying factor in both religion and science. The freedom to expand is the first solution to science,. By preview of the selective morphology, we find the process of expansion to connect to higher science. This frequency is both the connection and the expansion of an extended technology.
     
     Moving on…

     I really dislike Oxford commas. A bus ride from Zihautanejo? That’s easy for you to say…

     People for hundreds of years have gone to English pubs for a pint and the pint has been under threat from metrication for some years. It would be OK all they have to do is put ½ a litre in a pint glass and it would have a nice head on it. The dreamless ones of the Oxbridge variety are now going to introduce the schooner; a measure used in Australia and which is 15 fluid ounces.
     
     Instead of choosing between halves or pints, drinkers would also have the option of a schooner, the equivalent of two-thirds of a pint. Wine glasses would also see a change.
     “We have listened to consumers and businesses. They have called for fixed quantities to be kept but with greater flexibility. That is what this change will deliver,” Science minister David Willetts said in a statement.
     “We are freeing businesses so they can innovate and create new products to meet the demands of their customers.”
     
     Hold on! I have done some bar work. A pint is 20 fluid ounces and so a schooner would be ¾ of a pint! They haven’t introduced it yet and they have cut it to 2/3 of a bloody pint! They will probably end up with a schmiddy (12 Fluid ounces in Sydney) by the time they have knocked the froth off.

     Meanwhile…

     My new barbecue arrived yesterday; I hope my brother comes today. We only have about six months to work out the self assembly instructions. It is heavy and looks like its good quality, but is in a thousand pieces. The hand warmers are good, press the metal disk and the liquid will crystallise and gets warm. I also had a watch strap that was described as virtually indestructible; it’s crap. It’s only guaranteed for six months and is indestructible because only a bloody idiot would fit it on their watch. That will get a suitable review on Amazon; they asked for one!

     I had an email advertising my local council, home of the terminally dreamless. There was a link to their website and some garbage about them cutting spending. Yeah, why not cut spending on stupid advertising? California has a new governor and is deeply in debt and making cuts. They could do some hot desking; this is the latest trend. My local council is going to try it. The office workers all share desks and even work at home; there is one slight problem to overcome though. What happens when members of the public phone them? The call will be diverted to their homes of course! That will cost a few million to set up…

     Frugal Friday

     I put my Frugal Friday recipe on Facebook on the Nothing Cooking at Niente page; it was egg ‘n’ chips with a little salad and pickle. I enjoyed it anyway! I had to take the photographs in a hurry before it got cold though. I think Frugal Friday blogs and photographs could catch on…

     I watched a film the other night ‘Secretary’ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/

     A young woman, recently released from a mental hospital, gets a job as a secretary to a demanding lawyer, where their employer-employee relationship turns into a sexual, sadomasochistic one.

     At least it wasn’t boring…

     Smellivision

     Computers are audio/video now; but how long before we can look at a photo of a bacon sandwich on our screen and actually smell the bacon? I can smell it now! It has to happen. I think some kid named Suckerberg will hack into a super computer in the future and steal a database of bodily odours and launch a new social networking site with Smellivision; he could call it… Fa**book.

     Vitamin D

     It’s nearly midday. Did you know if women went out in their backyards; stark naked at midday; every day for 30 minutes; they would get enough vitamin D to help them absorb more calcium and this would prevent osteoporosis. I would also get some decent photographs; my camera has a great zoom.

     The sun is shining, if it’s still shining tomorrow; I could do Sunny Sunday! 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 8, 2011

        I read your blog to my new friends here around the pool at our place in Zihautanejo. They said “Geeezus”
        🙂
        We are both leaving here today, but they are moving to a condo, and we have to pack out stuff for our bus ride.

        I’d seen that movie Secretary awhile back and remember it being pretty bizarre with lots of rough? sex??

        . . . which could have brought to mind your Vitamin D advice. Perhaps one day, you could publish your Tips For Better Living.
        🙂
        Adios, for now

        Reply
128. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 9, 2011

     Sunday, 09 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     I’m not doing news until Wednesday, but I couldn’t resist a copy and paste of this headline:
     
     (Reuters) – Fifteen bodies, all but one of them decapitated, were found early on Saturday in the Pacific resort city of Acapulco as drug violence in Mexico intensified.
     
     I wouldn’t worry they were all male and involved in drug wars.

     Tips for Better Living

     You’re lying on the beach in Acapulco and you look around and everyone looks tanned and healthy and more attractive than you; apart from the fifteen headless guys that just washed up on the beach… It is now known that people with a little colour, like a tan, are more attractive because they look healthier. You don’t have to lie in the sun all the time to look more colourful and healthy, just eat colourful foods; like carrots. It is well known that if you eat lots and lots of carrots your skin will go orange but eat enough to give yourself a little colour and go out naked in the sun at midday to get your vitamin D and you will look much healthier and attractive. Carrots also contain beta carotene a double molecule of Vitamin A which is great for the skin.
     
     Stressed and depressed?
     
     We can all get stressed and depressed and we all want to be happy. The stress hormone cortisol can even make us feel quite unwell; so we need oxytocin; the love hormone! Imagine sitting around in the afternoon with your loved ones, everyone is in a good mood and there is a great movie on TV. It appears no one is particularly interested in the movie, they are all so happy they just want to relax in a chair and go to sleep surrounded by their loved ones. How can we make this happen? What would be the secret ingredient for inducing family harmony? Scientists have considered using tryptophan as an anti-depressant so it is an amino acid that makes people happier. The absorption of tryptophan isn’t fully understood though; it appears dependant on fructose absorption. It appears that if we eat something high in tryptophan like poultry with something that contains fructose; it could put us in a good mood.

     The whole family would need to eat it though. So how can we get the whole family to sit down for a meal and eat lots of poultry and foods containing fructose? We already do! In the UK we eat turkey at Christmas and usually lots of it and then veg out in front of the television with the family and fall asleep in the afternoon. In the USA it appears the same thing happens at thanksgiving. The fructose (fruit sugar) is found in the cranberry sauce, potatoes and many other vegetables. If the family all sat down for Sunday lunch once a week and ate a large chicken with vegetables and fruit; would they be happier?

     We did that when I was a child quite often and we seemed happier, but that was perhaps because we were children? There are lessons to be learned though and some sugars are bad for you such as sorbitol, which is found in many soft drinks. It also appears if you eat more foods that contain fructose that is metabolised in the liver you are less prone to diabetes. If you eat lots of fruit and vegetables you also get lots of vitamins; beta carotene from carrots is good for the skin but is also a powerful anti-oxidant and so mops up free radicals and protects against cancer. Vitamin C is in many foods including potatoes which also contain fructose. The British are encouraged to eat 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day because of the vitamin content but also the fibre content. Eating fibre helps to control appetite and so doesn’t lead to so much weight gain in people who overeat. Fibre also dilutes food in the digestive system making it easier to digest and soluble fibre from vegetables is considered good for many common problems.

     Irritable bowel syndrome is fairly common and soluble fibre can help; recent research found low level inflammation in people with IBS and so soluble fibre as an opposed to the rougher fibre found in whole grains may be gentler on the GI tract. You can have too much of a good thing sometimes and so a varied diet with lots of fruit and vegetables is better. Babies shouldn’t be given too much fruit because fructose absorbs water and can make them ill. Fructose is generally good for us though and tastes sweeter than sucrose and so we need less fructose for the same level of sweetness in foods. Manufacturers use it in some soft drinks for this purpose and so the drink contains fewer calories than if sucrose was used. Sucrose is a combination of glucose and fructose.
     
     Conclusion
     
     If you eat less red meat and more poultry with lots of vegetables and fruit, you increase your vitamin intake; tryptophan intake and fructose intake. This will not only make you healthier and help prevent some nasty illnesses but also make you happier. You will be less stressed and depressed, especially if you sit down to eat that chicken on a Sunday with your loved ones.

     I’ll have my Sunday Lunch now I’ve made the world a healthier and happier place; I have some chicken and a selection of fructose and vitamin containing veggies…

     “Geeezus” – they thought it was that good? 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 12, 2011

        Of course, they laughed.
        Sorry it has taken me this long to do my “approvals” but I have been Internet-challenged since Saturday a.m.

        I am now in Acapulco, trying to avoid the “headhunters,” none of whom seem to be sitting in this dark and dreary cyber cafe in my hotel. I had to purchase 48 hours of time to get a “reasonable” cost. HMMM, that amount of time is just about ALL my remaining awake time here before I return to Zihautanejo which so far has no reported headhunters and better Internet connections!!

        BTW, perhaps we ought to SKYPE some time?
        🙂
        Adios for a few minutes.

        Reply
129. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 10, 2011

     Monday, 10 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Miserable Monday

     It’s miserable Monday and it’s freezing, it will apparently go warmer later and rain. I will write about news for journalistic students on Wednesday; in the meantime we have Miserable Monday and Terrible Tuesday. Roll on Frugal Friday and I can have egg ‘n’ chips for dinner!

     Healthy Eating

     If you eat a lot of fibre, it not only keeps your digestive system healthier but also the rest of you too. It contains few calories and so will help control your weight. Obesity is becoming a major problem in the western world. It will also help you avoid diabetes and because foods that contain fibre usually contain vitamins and anti-oxidants it will also save you from cancer. Vitamins are in two broad groups, the fat soluble vitamins and the water soluble ones.

     Obviously you eat lot of fruit and vegetables for the water soluble ones, but what about the fat soluble ones? They are in meat and poultry, but the best ones are in oils. Fish oils contain lots of essential nutrients and although I’m not that keen on fish; except for prawns I do occasionally eat sardines that are quite oily and I usually have them with salad. Tomatoes are particularly good for you and on a Frugal Friday canned tomatoes can be used for a wide range of dishes. I really like canned tomatoes with bacon because fresh tomatoes don’t suit my delicate digestive system.

     You can also put sausages into a casserole dish, add a couple of cans of tomatoes, mixed herbs, some chicken stock and any odd vegetables you have in the lurking in fridge and you can make a delicious sausage casserole. This is a very nourishing and very Frugal dish and so ideal for Frugal Friday. I’m making a list of Frugal Friday dishes for http://www.nothingcooking.com and hope to make them not just frugal but healthy too. So far I have the sausage casserole, egg ‘n’ chips of course (with a side salad) and chicken drumsticks, chips and a healthy salad. I am considering eggs and bubble and squeak which will be delicious but I could make it healthier with the addition of some vegetables or salad. Bubble and squeak is a typical English dish that is easy to make and delicious; especially with tomatoes or tomato ketchup. That could be the final dish! Eggs; bubble and squeak and canned tomatoes; it would be full of vitamins, minerals and fibre and cheap and healthy to boot!

     You shouldn’t eat more than one egg a day because they are high in cholesterol but I can eat up to three because I don’t eat red meat or have any milk; but most days I only eat one.

     Other health foods

     Yesterday, I said that fructose tastes much sweeter than sucrose. Citric acid tastes much more acid than malic acid too. You probably know the saying “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away”; and of course grapes are traditionally taken to people sick in hospital. Both these fruits are high in malic acid and of course fructose. I would consider eating both and also peaches and nectarines. I found the smell of nectarines were so delicious that I couldn’t walk past them in the supermarket; I bought some! The next week they became very expensive and so maybe you have to buy them ‘in season’. Green beans like runner beans have lots of vitamins and minerals in them and they are fairly easy to grow in the garden. They will grow in a large container, quite often, but do require a lot of water. You need to be careful selecting the right variety with runner beans; some go quite tough unless eaten very young. Broccoli is also a vegetable regarded as a super food because it contains so much in the way of vitamins and minerals. You can cook the florets from broccoli for your main meal and then cook the stalks with mixed herbs, black pepper and salt (in stock) to make a nice soup. The finished soup is liquidised with a hand blender. You can add any vegetables to that soup and you can use vegetable stock or chicken stock. You can also eat healthy, vitamin rich soups cold, chilled on a summer’s day; even on the beach in Acapulco.

     Meanwhile…

     I have an email every morning with the weather forecast and my horoscope for the day. The weather forecast says rain but warmer and the horoscope said I may meet a friend. I may meet a friend. I spoke to him last night on the Internet and his new camera has arrived. It has an awesome zoom and does HD video; it is better than the DSLR he was originally planning to have. He has a poor home life; his mother would drive me nuts in 5 minutes flat and I know that from hearing her nagging in the background when I have spoken to him on the phone. When it gets bad, he goes off camping even in cold weather. I suggested he takes photographs and tries to do a travel guide around England; there are lots of places that the tourists miss. There are lots of places he misses, that is why he wants me to go; I find the hidden treasures!

     I thought about photographing the library; it was built at the beginning of the 20th century with land donated by a local family and paid for by Andrew Carnegie. I have used it since I was very young and I like it; it has been spoiled a little by the dreamless ones. It used to have two normal doors that were usually closed and a revolving door to keep out draughts; they ripped out the revolving door. They also ripped out the spiral staircase; that was a nice feature; then a few other things to make way for computers. I also thought I could photocopy my driving licence while I’m there; I would scan it but my scanner program won’t work under Windows 7. I could get my desktop fully functional and scan it with that. The dreamless bureaucrats at the council want a photocopy of my driving licence; being registered with them for the past God knows how many years as an elector and taxpayer isn’t sufficient proof of identity. They will ask for people to be tattooed like them next; I think someone tried that once though. I have to phone them later; I hate phoning dreamless bureauprats.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 12, 2011

        1) I forgot to ask the source of your dietary info
        and
        2) You should write this info for a magazine article. You just need a few anecdotes to “prove” and illustrate your various tips.
        🙂

        Reply
130. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 11, 2011

     Tuesday, 11 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Terrible Tuesday

     I have this feeling that Acapulco is not only headless but Internetless too; it could be worse; it could be dreamless… I am writing about news tomorrow and a recipe for writers; I have another guest blog to do and I said I would start that tomorrow. I’m clueless as to what to write today.

     Cameras

     If in doubt use a keyword and cameras is as good as any. My friend came yesterday, he is a little dreamless; he has a new camera. It was quite complicated and he has no idea how to use it; it would have helped if he had brought the instruction book. There was a lot of ‘noise’ on one photo I took; that’s like white dots all over the photo. Then the battery went dead and so that was the end of that. I took some photographs with my camera and found the button for continuous shooting and the one for colour adjustment; I constantly add more colours to photos and so the latter setting will be handy. The continuous shooting one produced blurred shots, but could be handy if I can find the setting to adjust the speed.

     I think now that journalists in particular need to be able to take a decent photograph because photo-journalists are more in demand. Newspapers and websites don’t want to send out a photographer and journalist to cover a story; when one person can do it. They do send out a journalist quite often now with a photographer with an HD video camera to interview the public or report for the website with video.

     I have quite a good story for tomorrow for the journalistic students; I won’t give it away, I have decided to combine social networking with journalism and try to do a Pulitzer prize winning story, just to show them how it’s done…

     Dreamless

     I talked to one of the dreamless ones at my local council on the phone for about half an hour yesterday; I had to give her my name and phone number several times and she didn’t appear to be too computer literate. My house doesn’t exist according to her computer. She asked if I had problems using a parking meter; I said I didn’t the last time. Have they changed much since 1969? She didn’t know she doesn’t drive. She asks people questions about driving and doesn’t drive and the guy who plans the roads rides a bike…

     Therapeutic writing

     I have stopped writing my psychological thriller, it was far too erotic. That was why the movie ‘Secretary’ interested me; a lot of what went on in that was like my novel. I need to write comedy; it would cheer me up. I have been asked to write an article for a charity that uses writing for therapy.

     Things that can make us happier…

     Money for nothing

     If we find money it apparently elevates our mood and makes us happier.

     Winning

     Winning also makes us happier even if it’s a rubbish prize in a raffle.

     Saying something funny

     Saying something funny, witty or telling a joke also elevates the mood.

     Saying or doing something clever

     Saying or doing something that appears clever also elevates our mood and people will even pay to watch; try sword swallowing.

     It’s only January and I’ve already wrote the most boring blog of 2011!

     I could have written about Farmville – too late now! 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 12, 2011

        not boring at all . . . just a bit rambling . . . and, perhaps, in need of “structure,” i.e. that makes it a great draft for a larger work — or in the case of this post several works, e.g. camera usage, how to be happy, etc.

        Reply
131. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 12, 2011

     Wednesday, 12 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Journalistic advice

     I said I would write something that may be useful to students of journalism today. Ok; we will begin with the mundane, how to get your hands on a good story without working too hard.
     
     (Reuters) – She’s middle-aged, gray-haired and stays up all night. Still, Heidi the cross-eyed opossum is Germany’s biggest media sensation, and she has not even made her debut at the Leipzig Zoo.
     
     Yet Heidi appears to be the next in a line of animal celebrities in Germany. The 2-1/2-year-old opossum has a growing Facebook following pushing 80,000 fans, sparked a popular song on YouTube and will soon star as a plush toy. However, the public will not get their first glimpse of the opossum until July, when the zoo opens its tropical wildlife exhibit.
     Poor vision is not much of a problem for Heidi, the zoo said. As a nocturnal animal, opossum’s rely heavily on their sense of smell instead of their sight to get around.

     I simply look at news from an international news organisation like Reuters and use that. I did give my source and only used a section of the news story to avoid copyright breach. I also wanted to end with that bit about Heidi relying on her sense of smell; because I could then go on to a similar story and maintain continuity:
     
     (Reuters) – Bhutan police can raid homes of smokers in a search for contraband tobacco and are training a special tobacco sniffer dog in a crackdown to honour a promise to become the world’s first smoke-free nation.

     I only used the headline from that story and as a journalist you may be required to write features. You then need to inform, entertain and amuse. I would relate that story and then add a little fiction to entertain and amuse:
     
     I trained my dog to sniff out chocolate; she gets really excited at the smell of chocolate and wets herself. My girlfriend is not amused…

     That paragraph is marginally amusing. Where did I get the idea from? That is what sniffer dogs often do, they wet themselves with excitement and this is annoying for truck drivers who have a little tobacco in their cabs.

     You won’t win a Pulitzer for writing like this. To become a prize winning journalist you have to do some investigation and write notes or take notes using a dictation machine. I would have written notes for this blog, but my note books are filled and dictation was no good because most of my research was on the Internet and I need hyperlinks to the information. You can use notepad for notes and Internet short cuts can be useful if you put them in a folder on your desktop. The interesting news this week was about the IPO (Initial Public Offering) of shares by LinkedIn and the raising of investment by Facebook. The latter interested me more.
     
     Facebook (Start with a headline)
     
     Is Goldman Sachs getting Zuckered?

     Goldman Sachs is raising investment for Facebook and private investors are being asked for a minimum of $3,000,000 to join this party. An early investor in Facebook was PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel who is on the board of Facebook; his investment is worth 1.7 billion according to Wikipedia (2010 valuation). “In late 2004, Thiel made a $500,000 angel investment in Facebook for 5.2% of the company.”(Wikipedia). That would value Facebook at around $10,000,000 in 2004.

     Venture capital firm Accel Partners paid less than 13 million US dollars for 10% of Facebook in 2005. This would value the Facebook at $130 million in 2005

     Microsoft also owns a small stake in Facebook. It invested 240 million US dollars (£155 million) in 2007 in exchange for a 1.6% stake. That would value Facebook at $15 billion in 2007; quite a jump.

     Goldman Sachs and Digital Sky Technologies (DST), a Russian investment firm and existing Facebook shareholder, have invested 500 million US dollars in the popular website, according to the New York Times. Goldman Sachs intends to raise another $1.5 billion from investors and this according to Goldman will value Facebook at $50 billion. Is it worth that much or are investors getting zuckered? Mark Zuckerberg told the TV show 60 minutes that he has no intention of selling Facebook or going public. What will he do with the investment pouring in and how much does Facebook really earn? Estimates of earnings put it between $300 million and $500 million on $2 billion in revenues. That is very profitable maybe up to 25% of revenue is profit. The profit to share price ratio though is 100 to 1; that is a huge ratio.

     Google is valued at $190 billion and is way more profitable. At the time of writing the share price for Google is $616 and it is believed they made around $25 a share in 2010; but have a good growth rates (it could be $30 in 2011 or more). If we apply the same logic and ratio to Google that would make its shares undervalued at worth 100X $25 and an astonishing $2,500 a share! That would make Google worth $800 billion and well on its way to being a trillion dollar company!

     So by the same logic, are Facebook shares overvalued and are those wealthy clients paying Goldman Sachs too much? What does Facebook intend to do with all that capital; $2 billion is a lot of investment. Meanwhile, Goldman Sachs has been criticised by the SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) and one of its hedge fund teams is moving to London.

     Are these shares being sold at a discount? They usually are to private investors. Are these hedge funds buying and will they short them at some time in the future? Shorting is ‘borrowing’ shares usually from a broker who has shares for a pension fund or big institution. The hedge fund borrow them; like borrowing a $20 bill and then has to pay it back by which time the price has dropped and they buy shares to pay back at a discount. The fund manager makes 20% of the profit and laughs all the way to the bank. If the hedge fund already gets a discount of 20% or maybe more as a part of this deal; they are in a great position to short the shares in the future.

     Shorting has been made illegal in some countries and pressure from the SEC is forcing Goldman Sachs to distance itself from hedge fund practices like shorting.

     The whole deal looks risky for those private investors who could be being duped by either Facebook or Goldman Sachs and an IPO could mean the company being valued at $100 billion and the public and your pension fund buying at not just full price but an inflated price to invest in shares in the latest hot thing – Facebook.

     That is how you write a topical piece and I went 100 words over my usual limit! Now where’s my Pulitzer?

     The sources for my dietetic info were varied. News just in is BP shares are being shorted in advance of their results on February 1st; that could burn some fingers; they would be better off shorting the US dollar after the Chinese comments today asking if their money is safe in the US. George Soros did well shorting the UK pound some years ago.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 12, 2011

        very, very cool info . . . and yes, some of this [if not the whole post/comment] will be “required” reading for my students when class begins in another two weeks.

        Reply
132. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 13, 2011

     Thursday, 13 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     I picked up this quote:
     
     “Music was Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson’s second career. News reports say he began dealing crack at the age of twelve, after the murder of his coke-dealer mother. Early tracks like “Ghetto Quran” and “How to Rob” reflects a brutal, street-hustling life, and Jackson has the bullet wounds to match. He’s talented, wildly successful, and I sure wouldn’t mess with him.”

     Apparently he is a rapper who tweeted about some stock that would double your money all weekend and he made about $8,000,000; nice work if you can get it. I missed a number yesterday when I wrote about Goldman Sachs, but I did get it published before a very similar article on the Huffington Post; they did mention the dealing commission of around $60,000,000; nice work if you can get it. This stuff has to be more lucrative than dealing cocaine…

     The writer writing for the Huffington Post also thought that Goldman Sachs would short Facebook stock in the future; the fact one of their hedge funds has already acquired some suggests this. That could make them a few billions; nice work if you can get it…

     Farmville

     I am languishing in fourth place still at Farmville; in first place is my friend in Holland, second place an American lady and third place a guy from California. The guy had to join my co-op yesterday and grow grapes because basically I would have taken third place from him after getting the bonus. I was 100,000 XP ahead but he quickly passed me; I know how he did it and although he went 20,000 XP ahead, I have now narrowed the gap to 3,800 and I will make some XP today. The big event though will be when I spend 1,000,000 coins in about a week’s time; I get 10,000 XP for that and may pass him. I have a large stock of wine and my expensive wine is now far more expensive than anyone else’s and so that strategy paid off; it is also selling. I have to milk my cows soon in my large dairy and I have a new cow! It cost 1,000,000 coins and so should give a good return.

     Writing

     I wrote two guest blogs yesterday. The NUJ; the National Union of Journalists in the UK has an anonymous service where writers report what they have earned on freelance work as a guide to other writers as what to charge. The blog I did here about Goldman Sachs would have fetched at least $600 and I did another blog of about 600 words that would have fetched about $400; and so that wouldn’t have been a bad days work; nice work if you can get it…

     I didn’t get paid of course but I will get paid for an article soon or I may join the damn union and go on strike. My other blog; I get the impression that was not what they had in mind; but they could have at least read it. I’ll write another because it’s for charity but if this one isn’t used; forget it!

     Writer’s Soup

     I have to write a sort of recipe for writers; the suggestion being I make it a form of cake recipe. I’m a celiac; I don’t cook cakes! You don’t ask a vegetarian to barbecue steaks or an alcoholic to serve your bloody drinks! I’ll try soup; stock made from rhetorical devices and synonyms; I could add a metaphor or two for flavour. I’ll look in the vegetable thingy for inspiration; I may find a homonym or a semi colon that’s still reasonably fresh. There is always the fridge; there is allsorts lurking at the bottom; commas mostly and the odd quote past it’s sell by date. Can you use frozen full stops and periods in writer’s soup? I’ll risk it; I’m not going out this weather for fresh ingredients. I could make it haute cuisine and add some psychological devices. I could even do research on the internet for some exotic ingredients. An inverted question mark would give it a distinctive Spanish flavour. Is Hebrew punctuation Kosher? Would an acronym spoil the flavour? It is for an American website; can I use an ellipsis… or do I need a Chicago Manual of Style ellipsis . . . I can only really do English recipes and a little French. Can they cope with accents? I may have to avoid words like risqué! How about my Café Niente? I may have to avoid French words all together; well those with accents anyway. I don’t think they can tell I have a slight French accent just by reading this stuff…

     I just did a word count; enough is enough for this bit of old stuff…

     Whoops, I wrote this 7 hours ago and then forgot to post it! 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 14, 2011

        Love the work . . . and the money will come — is, of course, what my mom always said. We both will be making barrels of money soon.
        🙂
        But, honestly, that’s hard to think about when the sun is shining and this is my last day in Acapulco. However, I still have several days of vacation left in Zihautanejo [again].
        Enjoy the soup!

        Reply
133. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 14, 2011

     Friday, 14 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Frugal Friday

     Food

     I’m trying to save and make money as usual. Yesterday was a good day for making it; today I’ll try to save a little on shopping. I checked out prices at the local supermarket last night and I eat a lot of chicken so checked out the prices. The halal chicken drumsticks were the cheapest at £2.87 per kilogram; the most expensive was £3.84 a Kg. Strangely enough the price has changed today and the cheapest is now; £2.42 a kg and that is frozen as opposed to fresh. I asked my neighbour to get me a bag of those; I didn’t fancy halal; I thought it may be imported and more likely to have salmonella in it. I read that chickens in this country are mostly vaccinated against salmonella and the eggs with a lion printed on them are salmonella free; I had some of those the other day.

     The most frugal meal is egg and chips with salad or vegetables; it tastes good and costs less than a £1.00. I cooked soup last night and that is waiting in the fridge for me to heat it up for lunch; it has loads of chicken and vegetables in and I suppose it’s more like a stew. It is very frugal anyway. I think tomorrow, I may do stir fried rice with chicken and vegetables. I had sardines, chips, broccoli and salad last night. The oily fish is loaded with vitamins and goodies that are essential to good health. Incidentally, the lecithin in eggs impedes the absorption of cholesterol which is handy.

     Learning to cook a decent meal isn’t difficult; it ain’t rocket science! It can save you a fortune though and be a lot healthier than eating out. The fries that are served in many fast food places are loaded with fat; it is usually vegetable in origin and so low cholesterol but high in calories.

     I cooked my super soup yesterday; quite easily. I fried my chicken in a little sunflower oil, added some diced potato and then just kept adding vegetables. I use whatever I have but like to add white cabbage, a tin of carrots, frozen broccoli and I also added some frozen mixed vegetables. The mixed vegetables were peas, carrots, green beans and sweet corn. Then the herbs are added; thyme, marjoram, sage, parsley, oregano and basil; they come mixed and I just add a couple of heaped teaspoons. To bring out the flavour I add tomato puree, then pour on chicken or vegetable stock; cook it for an hour topping up with stock occasionally and that’s it. I nearly forgot add salt and black pepper to taste. It is loaded with vitamins and balanced so there are fat soluble vitamins and water soluble vitamins.

     It also has tryptophan to help you cope with the stress and depress of modern life. To absorb the tryptophan you need fructose but that is in the potato and other veggies. The egg and chips is loaded with tryptophan; writers need all the brain food we can get. If you really want to look after your brain and nervous system eat sardines or some other oily fish at least once a week and of course 5 portions of fruit and veggies a day.

     Meanwhile

     I want to post a blog on Frugal Friday stuff on WordPress; I can use the above to start it off. I am considering writing comedy for the BBC; they put crap on radio and television. I sent them a short story; they didn’t even acknowledge it. They say they want scripts, but a little research suggests they only actually read them if they are from ‘famous’ people. It is little wonder all their programs are crap and they can’t export them. They don’t accept scripts emailed in; they don’t have the resources to deal with them and print them. They should pay the famous people less bloody money and use a few smart editors to read scripts and short stories.

     The head of comedy said in an interview how good some of the old programmes were and some scenes so memorable. I learned comedy watching that stuff, from the likes of Ronnie Barker and David Jason. They were inventive and imaginative; they didn’t need profanity. Ronnie Barker could tell Godber to “naff off” and the next minute the made up expletive was being used by the Princess Royal! Dell would call Rodney a plonker and it would be repeated in every pub around the country the next day.

     I need to get the email address of the head of comedy at the BBC and write her a really funny email to demonstrate that comedy is alive and well and can be profanity free. I’m not sure if I can be politically correct; but I’ll try not to mention lesbians; she probably is one if she got a top job at the Beeb.

     Good News

     This is good news and bad news really. The good news as far as writing this blog is concerned is that I have a hospital appointment and so will be inspired next week. The bad news is it’s for 6:40pm on Wednesday. It will be cold and dark; I checked the weather forecast and it’s forecast to just get colder after the weekend. They will phone to confirm I’m going. I can postpone if the weather is really bad. The appointment is with one of the top doctors but I’ll be delegated to his new assistant; I can moan and see him in the summer though; they haven’t transferred me.

     I must write some notes so we have something to discuss; otherwise we’ll spend 10 minutes talking about my writing. By the way, my writer’s soup recipe was acceptable… If I have time, I could pop down to the basement and see how my clone is getting on. I have to park in the mall car park for disabled people or I’ll have to park at the back and do a half marathon to get there. I hope my clone isn’t trying to escape through the ventilation system again; he got stuck near Costa Coffee last time. There was a really strong smell of coffee that permeated through the building going into the information centre, the Patients Advice and Liaison centre, the League of Friends shop and café, the Taste Café, the Information Centre, the restaurants, the disabled toilets, the supermarket and I could even smell it when I use the cash machine. It didn’t get as far as the medical facilities; thank God. I have a map! I just realised that the in-patient entrance is around the back and so visitors will park at the back; I have a chance of a parking space! I have an assessment on Monday to renew my disabled parking badge; they will ask how I am! I’m not well; I have an appointment to see my specialist at the new super – hospital on Wednesday! I’ll try to look sick for that; on second thoughts, the assessment is over the telephone; I’ll try to sound sick… So anyway, I may have something to write about on Thursday; I could meet a hot young nurse, I’ll think positive…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 16, 2011

        OK, here’s my latest suggestion for making you famous . . . and, of course, me in the process.

        One day should be CLONE day, e.g. Clone Monday or something. Remember Robin Williams in the sitcom Mork & Mindy. Perhaps you can write material for Mike & Copy Mike?? Just try it. Don’t argue; just do it.
        :-)))

        Reply
134. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 15, 2011

     Saturday, 15 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Satirical Saturday

     I have no idea what to write about this morning. I was chatting on the phone until about 11pm last night. I was reminded of when I was young and staying at a large house that once belonged to a very famous family. There were problems with terrorists at the time and I saw smoke coming from the front of the house. I told my friend to leave through the conservatory and I went with a fire extinguisher to investigate. It turned out someone had thrown a Molotov cocktail through the window. It just smouldered and produced a lot of smoke and when the fire fighter mentioned it could be a ‘bomb’ I decided to leave it to the professionals! We had a few bomb scares in those days.

     A message in a bottle

     I saw this thing last night where you could put a message in a virtual bottle and let it float around the internet until someone reads it. It was a good idea, badly done. It is a good idea, the internet is for messages and people want to contact other people and contacting people at random could work. People would need some advice, include an email address for a reply and say something about yourself; like which desert island you’re on. It would need a database of people who are interested in the idea and I suppose you could send an email and the server forwards it on to someone at random. You could have some choice I suppose, male or female recipient and age group; but keep it fairly random. Twitter is a little like that, you never know who will start ‘following’ you. I had problems with Twitter but it turned out to be my Twitter client; I have a choice of short url’s and it works fine now I have chosen a different one.

     News

     I liked the story about the hunter in Russia who wounded a fox and was going to finish him off with the butt of the rifle when the fox tried to fight back and pressed the trigger of the rifle. He shot the hunter! It reminded me of the Crocodile Dundee movie where he dressed like a kangaroo and shot back at the hunters!

     Interactive Fiction

     I did some interactive fiction in 2008 and people commented on it and joined in. My friend in Florida, who just came online had the part of my grandma in the story. It was about a Viscount who owned an English stately home that was falling apart. He staffed it with the patients from the local mental hospital. I gave parts to all my friends and it was quite funny. We had ghosts walking the battlements and even a murder in the drawing room! The butler got up to all kinds of things; he took the maid to the summer house at night for a naughty rendezvous and made money in all sorts of criminal ways.

     It was quite a funny story. I could write something like that for the BBC, but I have found out the new head of comedy prefers famous writers; the problem is they can’t write. I watched a clip of what they think is funny; it was awful! I had a list of books on special offer from Amazon and they were all by well known people; politicians and celebrities; they can’t write! They sell books based on the name and then sell what’s left at half price to people who are silly enough to buy them. The standard of fiction has dropped and non-fiction is poor too and so television is starved of decent scripts. I think the movie industry has gone the same way, relying on special effects far too much. It is rare now to see a decent comedy film and what I do see tends to cater for the simple minded with quite childish humour. I think everything is getting dumbed down to a level where the dreamless can understand it; it is so boring.

     Farmville

     I’m giving my friend in Florida tips for Farmville! She will race past all her friends now! She is on level 63, I’m on level 103! She won’t catch me but can catch up with the leaders!

     Not a great blog today but…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 16, 2011

        one characteristic of good writing — to my mind — is that it inspires me with all sorts of things to write about myself.

        one “well known” and Wonderful writer is Joyce Carol Oates. I was fortunate to be introduced to her fiction back in the ’60s with her very first novel Garden of Earthly Delights. I now “collect” Joyce Carol Oates [and her previous pseudonym Rosamond [sp?] Smith [under which name she wrote less literary mysteries].
        I just now finished her most recent collection of short stories, which seems to have been inspired by the death of her husband . . . not to mention Kafka and her fear of snakes and spiders — to name just a few of the allusions/symbols/images in the stories.

        I have a wonderful new BFF, whom I am wondering if I should — or should NOT — recommend these stories to. Her beloved husband died five years ago and she is still very depressed over the loss. I think I have mentioned this before. Joyce Carol Oates is dark, bizarre, descriptive, insightful, and intimate — with a good amount of sexual activities and references thrown in.

        Anyway, your blog was a lot better than you thought today. See how much I wrote as a result?

        BTW, I think we should start a SEPARATE DrivingMissShari post as your interactive story. You should begin it. I’ll chime in. And then we should take turns asking a friend to write the next part.
        What do you think?

        . . . maybe we could eventually make it into a contest . . . or a better “game” than Farmville.

        Reply
        1. 

           sharisax

           January 16, 2011

           LOVED the hotel story; the house one, , though, left me wanting a better ending. But that’s part of the point, right?
           WE WANT CLONE STORIES
           WE WANT CLONE STORIES!!
           🙂
           3 more days in Paradise, but I hear the weather up in my neck of the woods is in the 60s this week. We don’t want our friends and neighbors to be too jealous of our tans.
           🙂

           Reply
135. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 16, 2011

     Sunday, 16 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Shaggy Dog Sunday

     I have a children’s program on my laptop and it just launched itself and I couldn’t stop the damned thing. I would uninstall it but it has something to make your voice sound like a parrot which could be useful. I can do impressions of Pandora the parrot!

     I shall consider writing a blog about the adventures of my clone. My characters are good because sometimes even I believe they exist! Pandora the parrot was getting emails for a while…

     Shaggy dog stories are typically English and may not be suitable for this blog but I thought I would try one or two.

     The Hotel Bill
     
     Don’t mess with Senior Citizens

     An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for a significant birthday and stayed overnight in one of London’s most exclusive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £450.00.

     She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high saying. “It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth £450.00 for just an overnight stay without even breakfast.”

     The clerk told her that £450.00 was the ‘standard rate’ so she asked him to fetch the General Manager who had been forewarned by the desk clerk and said “This hotel prides itself on its facilities and has an Olympic pool and a huge conference centre which are available for guests use.”

     “But I didn’t use them,” she replied.

     “Well, they are here, and you could have,” he explained. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow and Aberdeen performing here each night.”

     “But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she protested.

     “Well, we have them and you could have,” the Manager replied.

     No matter what amenity he mentioned, she replied, “But I didn’t use it!”

     The Manager was unmoved, so she decided she had to settle up and wrote out a cheque.

     The Manager looked at it and was surprised, saying “But madam, this cheque is only made out for £100.00.”

     “That’s correct” she replied “Your bill was for £450, so I deducted my charge of £350.00 for sleeping with me.”

     “But I didn’t sleep with you!” exclaims the very surprised Manager.

     “Well, that’s too bad. I was here and you could have.”
     
     I just corrected all the punctuation and grammar in the story, again and then found out where I saved it yesterday! Anyway, here is another one:
     
     Lucky was so called because he wasn’t — lucky that is. He got married and his wife ran away with his best friend a few days later. People constantly made fun of him wherever he went and he couldn’t hold down a job for more than a day or two. One night, as usual, he went down to the pub for a few drinks and as usual they made fun of him.

     He wasn’t in the mood and so decided to leave the pub and go to the bingo hall down the road. He didn’t have much money but sat down with just one book of tickets and began to play. He won! This was like a miracle; he had never won a game before. It caused quite a stir and he could here people whispering, “Lucky has won a game!” and that sort of thing.

     The next game was the same, he marked off number after number and called house again! The whispering got louder and louder and everyone was amazed that Lucky had won two in a row. They were more amazed when he continued to win throughout the evening, game after game; he kept on calling House.

     Then the big game came at 10 o’clock; the national game for fifty thousand pounds and Lucky marked off the numbers, one after the other; he was quite excited. Then he marked off the last number and shouted “House!” The other players were amazed; he had won every game and even the big national game. They weren’t making fun of him now, most of the players were cheering!

     He went home happy that night and news spread of his good fortune; the next morning people were stopping him in the street to comment or congratulate him. He didn’t feel well though and decided to go and see his doctor. He waited his turn in the surgery and was called in to see Doctor Patel, who asked what was wrong. Lucky didn’t know what to say, he said that he just didn’t feel well. The doctor looked at him carefully and remarked on his colour. He decided to take a blood sample and send it for testing by courier and told Lucky to return that evening for the results. He went home and thought about going to the bingo hall that night to be presented with his cheque, but still didn’t feel too well. The afternoon passed quickly and he walked back to the doctor’s surgery to get the results of his blood test. He waited again and the doctor saw him eventually and asked him to take a seat. It was bad news the doctor explained.

     “I’m sorry; but its ‘yellow 24’” the doctor explained.

     Lucky didn’t understand and asked the doctor to explain. He explained that it was so called because over a 24 hour period, the skin turns yellow and then it proves fatal.

     Lucky only had 24 hours to live.

     Lucky left the doctor’s surgery depressed at the news but thought he could pick up his cheque at the bingo and enjoy the short time left to him as best he could.

     At the bingo it was quite exciting and everyone applauded as he went on to the stage to be presented with the cheque by the manager. The manager handed him the cheque and made a little speech, “You have always been unlucky and I’m so pleased that you had some luck at last, you won every game and then the national; you must be the luckiest man alive.”

     “I’m not,” Lucky replied, “I have yellow 24.”

     “Bloody hell,” the manager shouted out to the audience, “he has won the raffle too!”
     
     Today’s blog is different anyway…
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
136. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 17, 2011

     Monday, 17 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Blogging

     I did a Frugal Friday blog about food on my WordPress blog last week, but it seems it’s energy that people really don’t understand and so that may be a good topic for this week. I shall educate about why some Arabs wear white to reflect the sun and some wear loose fitting black clothing to take advantage of the phenomenon of convection. The heat rises through their loose clothing to keep them cool. So now you know… If it’s tight wear white…

     Farmville

     The latest Farmville strategy or Farmville secrets are taking shape today. I hope to make 1,000,000 coins today and buy a very expensive cow; that will make me even more cash tomorrow. Then I can do a screen capture showing a really super awesome farm; then I can use that picture to start the blog and write something to appeal to the tens of million Farmville players — who may start to follow me on Twitter to keep up with developments! Farmville Fame at last!

     This will be the best Farmville Secret yet and you heard it here first. Start collecting horses, cows and bulls and expanding your dairies now in preparation; this will be awesome! I had less than 400,000 coins yesterday and took that over 1,000,000 and I just added another 100,000 harvesting white grapes. I can now buy a new 1,000,000 coin cow! That will be a good investment and make even more coins tomorrow!

     Michael the clone

     I talked to my clone at the hospital using Windows Live; he is allowed to use the computer when he’s supervised. He has been in trouble again, the nurse screamed and made a complaint apparently. She was giving him a rub down in the shower and he was unbuttoning her uniform; he said she didn’t complain until he got to the last button and then screamed the place down.

     He was told that because of his behaviour he would have to see a child psychiatrist. He was only cloned in 2003 and so legally he is only eight years old this year. He refused to see a child psychiatrist, complaining that he didn’t even know they trained children to be psychiatrists. He saw someone eventually and she asked some embarrassing questions. He is aging at twice the normal rate because they haven’t perfected the cloning process and so is going through puberty at 8 years old. This is why he is suddenly so interested in those hot young nurses. He likes the night nurse in particular, she tucks him in and gives him a goodnight kiss; well she sees him as a sweet eight year old and forgets his hormones are now raging. I think they will have to teach him to bathe and shower himself soon or he’ll do more than just undo a few buttons. The psychiatrist said he was too institutionalised and said he couldn’t escape now even if he wants to, she advised he be allowed more freedom and he can now go upstairs and use the restaurant and cafes. He has found the cash machine and now knows about money. He wants some! He suggested we have a joint bank account so he can use the cash machine; he has no chance of sharing my money.

     I told him to ask for payment when they want to experiment on him; they usually get paid quite well but they have used him to test all sorts of stuff for years and he never got paid for it. He could make more money than me if he gets his act together. He is so used to medical procedures that he appears to have no fear of them. They can thread 30 feet of plastic tubing in the one end of him and out the other end and he doesn’t even flinch. In fact if it’s a hot nurse he will volunteer for it! He is particularly fond of the more naïve student nurses; most of them learn quickly not to be alone with him in the shower room!

     Anyway, I said I would meet him on Wednesday and we could have a cup of tea or something in the café. If they want to thread 30 feet of tubing through me on Wednesday, Michael can go instead of me! I might leave him a little money so he can buy the odd cup of tea and I suppose I could take him some things; a bunch of grapes and a magazine? Do they do magazines for clones? They do magazines for most interests; I’ll get Psychology Today or the Nursing Times if they don’t. If he has the Nursing Times, he will have all those hot young nurses around his bed asking to borrow the latest copy; that would cheer him up. It’s strange how we think alike…

     You wanted clone stories…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 17, 2011

        You “did good” my friend and this “secret gem” will be broadcast throughout the Twittersphere!
        How can 1000’s not want to know the best Farmville secret . . . and hundreds of thousands more not want to read the crazy adventures of Clone Michael!!!

        Reply
137. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 18, 2011

     Tuesday, 18 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     News

     Last Wednesday, I wrote about Goldman Sachs raising $1.5 billion from private investors for Facebook; they have now scrapped that idea. If they have more than 499 shareholders as a private company they would be in breach of the regulations. They would clearly have to go close to 499 and ask a lot of investors for over $3M each. I think the bad publicity and speculation put an end to the plan; but Goldman Sachs and the Russian investor will still have an investment. I suspect many of their private investors were unwilling to take a risk on the particular investment.

     Farmville

     I need a name for my series of blogs about Farmville. Is this 101 stuff for beginners; does Farmville 101 to Farmville Advanced sound right? I would call it the Farmville Millions Blogs?

     I’ll start with the basics, getting a bigger farm and getting a good ROI (return on investment); you can make your farm pretty later when you’re ahead of the game and super rich.

     I did make 1,000,000 coins yesterday and spent it on a belted cow! I need blueberries and strawberries to make wine and so I have planted those on about half my plots to harvest in 4 hours. The rest I planted with black grapes to harvest in 24 hours; I will need black grapes and I’m running out of storage space and so harvesting them tomorrow makes sense.

     A bull just wandered on to my farm and I have asked my friends if they want that; if one of your friends has a bull; grab it! You will need bulls when you get to the advanced part of my blogs to make 1,000,000 coins a day. Look at the ROI on everything; it is zero on the pretty things like cottages! It is low on cherry trees, so I just sold all my cherry trees and arranged all my peach trees together so they take up less room. Try to get as many cows as possible and a dairy (upgrade that to a huge dairy with the help of your friends). You need cows when you get to the advanced blog. Not all pigs are equal, the expensive pigs harvest better; but you have to take them out of the pig sty to find out what the value is. I just took a pig out the sty and clicked sell and it told me how much it was worth and then I clicked cancel. The coloured pigs are worth the most and so try to fill your pig sty with those.

     I’ve made 315,000 coins today; but I only got up 3 hours ago…

     Presents are important and I will share a Farmville secret! When you get presents, there is a thing that looks like a globe at the top of your screen for notifications. I had one notification about presents and so went to presents, but didn’t collect. In fact that isn’t working properly today but I found one message and instead of clicking the present; I clicked the name! This took me to his ‘wall’. He was giving away fuel, I had some! I then clicked back on my browser and he was giving away a sample of goods; I had that too! Then I clicked back on my browser and had a free tree! Then he posted on my wall and I got a couple more free things; then I went back for my gift! This is good if you are only just starting and watch out when you are checking out your neighbours ‘wall’ for bulls and expensive cows.

     You can also ‘help’ on other people’s farms to get fuel and other things. Someone just helped on my farm and will be wondering why I have about 100 cows lying around the place! He knows what the bulls are for!

     This is the advanced stuff; I shall come to making lots of money from dairies in the advanced blog. In the meantime plough as much land as possible and save bulls and cows! You need to join co-ops for the bonus and even run a coop. I have a winery and I do red wine making coops. There is a sort of cheat for that too! I’ll explain how to do better at a co-op next time.

     Michael the clone

     I know my clone is only 8 years old this year which could explain why the night nurse tucks him in at night and gives him a goodnight kiss; but on his record it says he is 185cm tall. That is as tall as me! That is 6ft 2 inches; surely that nurse has noticed his feet sticking out of the bottom of the bed; none of those beds are long enough. It seems suspicious to me; this could be leading up to some form of child abuse.

     They must have noticed he is going through puberty, they give him a shower or bath every day. He did say one of the more experienced nurses told him the facts of life and all about sex; so she noticed something! I think giving him sex education in the shower is a bit spooky; it sounds like he gets horny enough without any encouragement from a more experienced nurse. I hope it was nursing she was experienced in and not giving 8 year old clones sex education lessons in the shower. It does save me explaining things to him though; I wouldn’t relish that little job. He wants me to teach him how to use the cash machine, but he doesn’t have a cash card; he wants mine! I’m not supplying him with a cash card and a credit card is really out of the question.

     He saw a nurse doing online banking and he wants to know all about that too and online shopping! I can imagine the things he would buy online; toys to take in the shower with him probably. He does need more clothes; I suppose I’ll have to buy those. They won’t let him wander around the hospital in his pyjamas. He mentioned he needs a new bathrobe too. This is going to cost me money; he will probably have a list of things when I see him tomorrow. I haven’t got his magazine and bunch of grapes yet…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
138. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 19, 2011

     Wednesday, 19 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     News Day

     I’ll start with this snippet of information:
     
     The gains came after the dollar slipped to its lowest level since December 13th versus the euro, a level of $1.3462 set earlier in the day. The buck also set a two-month low of $1.6059 against the British pound, further raising the appeal of U.S. stocks.

     I did predict that the pound would appreciate against the dollar. This appears to make US stocks worth buying but not if it’s going to appreciate further. It makes UK stocks worth buying because you make a double gain; the stocks are on the way up because of the austerity program and so you get a return and the British pound is on the way up and so you make a return on the changing exchange rate.

     When you cash in your investments they will buy a lot more US dollars in a year’s time. I think we could go back to two $US to one UK pound in the not too distant future as the UK austerity measures cut the deficit and the US QE2 devalues the dollar even more.
     
     (Reuters) – Two would-be thieves called in their own crime to police in Germany after they could not escape from a broken-down elevator over the weekend, police said in a statement.

     That story is self explanatory and I won’t paste the rest of it; the grammar was awful. I used to rescue people from elevators and always walked up to the lift house. If the elevator I was in broke down the second team would take hours to get to me and the emergency backup after them was the fire service!
     
     Web 2 and journalists
     
     The good thing about web 2.0 is you get feedback; well I didn’t get a comment yesterday; but you usually get feedback. I read a financial article this morning and there was one very negative comment that said the journalistic quality of the articles was going downhill. They have been going downhill for a while and this comment was directed at the young assistant editor and she can sort of write. The other writers are straight out of university and fairly hopeless.

     The main crime you can commit as any kind of writer is to be boring; people want to be informed, entertained and amused. If you can get all three ingredients into an article it’s likely to be acceptable to the reader. This particular article was about dodgy practices in supermarkets and intended to inform. We all know supermarkets bake bread so the smell of fresh bread tempts people to buy and the smell off coffee from Costa coffee or Starbucks is intended to tempt the dreamless in. I have to go past Costa coffee today; I hate that smell.
     
     Meanwhile
     
     There isn’t much interesting news today, Goldman Sachs is giving all its executives big bonuses again, but that isn’t really news; it’s to be expected.

     I have my hospital appointment and will of course meet with my clone for a cup of tea. I have to go out before then, though, or I get nervous. I have no idea why I need to go somewhere before I go to hospital; last time I went shopping before and after the hospital appointment.

     I think today I will go to the cash machine and get cash and maybe get petrol; I have 20 litres but can fill up. They had a competition that I thought was worth a shot; but I had to buy £30 of petrol. I thought not many people would bother buying £30 in petrol and getting the ticket and then going to the website to enter the competition. I may check the website later to see if it’s still running. I can get a few things from the shop at the petrol station for my clone too.

     If I can park near the Victorian sweet shop, I could go in there and get sweets for both us; he is sure to like the same ones as me. He went missing for a while yesterday and they phoned to see if I would go and look for him. I knew he hadn’t left the hospital and so I thought he would be thinking like me. I was right, I asked the switchboard to put me through to the laundry and he was there!

     He likes the laundry; all sorts of things go down the laundry shoots, medical instruments of torture, medical books and long length of plastic tubing. He seems to like the medical books.

     I got to just over 900,000 coins last night; not enough to buy a belted cow at Farmville. It wasn’t bad though, that was nearly 2,000,000 coins in one day. I bought the cow this morning and increased the coins the dairy is making to around 24,000 at a time. I have 750,000 coins now and so will buy another cow this afternoon; perhaps.

     The weather went cold again and it went below zero overnight; I hope it warms up a little later. The drive to the hospital isn’t far but it’s near the busiest motorway junction in the UK. It will be dark, too, and I’ll probably have to use my heated rear window and all the gadgets. I’ll have dinner when I get back, I must remember to eat early or I’ll be hungry and I’ll take a drink; the drinks are a rip off at the hospital. It will be bad enough paying for tea for my clone. I hope he’s not hungry…
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 19, 2011

        Mike, I have one good UK friend Louise Findlay-Wilson — made through her LinkedIn group PRPRO — and another group member Sally Phillips, whom I’ve connected with today. I am going to recruit them as regular readers and commentators here. . . then we can have our own Web 2.0 revolution begin.

        In the meantime, I have to go back home today — and sell some US stocks to pay for my trip.
        I cannot do a smiley face for that . . . or can I?
        🙂

        Reply
     2. 

        Mike Maynard

        January 20, 2011

        That should have been Laundry chutes; it’s bad when your clone corrects your spelling. He was fine; I got accosted again by security for taking photographs inside the hospital without permission.

        ‘I am security, I am important bit’ and I dropped the little suggestion that I would ask for permission the next time the new CEO emailed me…

        I did get a few decent photos… I offered to delete them… Security guys aren’t totally dreamless – but clueless with the technology…

        Reply
139. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 20, 2011

     Thursday, 20 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Farmville

     I was short on time yesterday but my ‘Farmville Millions’ plan is still looking good. I really need my Farmville neighbours to help me upgrade a dairy but I can do it without them.

     So far this week I have made 12,000,000 coins and that when I spent it gave me 12,000 XP and most Farmville addicts would kill for that! I’m not finished though, I make more coins every day but it is time consuming. The real addicts play all day so it is no problem for them.

     I think I can take it to around 11,000,000 coins a day and write the blog. The first blog is about the other stuff — co-ops and a bit of a teaser, and then the second one will reveal the secret of making millions with a dairy farm! I think if we can get it Tweeted and re-tweeted we may get some readers and followers. I am trying to get my farm more organised so I don’t have to do a massive harvest every afternoon and can do one after meals. I have already made nearly 2,000,000 coins today and will continue this afternoon.

     Yesterday…

     I even went into the bank yesterday and I hate banks! I didn’t have to queue though and just gave the teller an envelope and told her to pay some cheques into my account and then raided the cash machine. The next stop was the Victorian sweet shop; the price had gone up with the increase in VAT! I also got petrol (gasoline); that was weird. I had around 21 litres and so I thought to fill up I needed 39 litres to go to 60 litres. I put in about 29 litres and the gauge went past full. Either the gauge is wrong or the tank really holds 50 litres. I’ll have to check the manual. My main problem was condensation on the windows as it got colder and colder. I wiped them all before setting off to the hospital but still have to have the rear window heater on and get the car really warm to try to dry it out. Visibility is made worse by those new LED style headlights many people have that tend to dazzle other drivers. I got to the hospital early and took a few photos of the outside; they aren’t great photos because it was dark and I was cold!

     I asked to see one of the best doctors in the hospital seven years ago and have been transferred to another doctor and transferred back after I complained and delegated to a more junior doctor. I expected to see the junior last night but the man himself was there. He said how well I was doing since I first saw him. Some medications have worked better than we thought and some not at all; but I feel better, apart from having a headache. He also takes an interest in my writing and told me to take more photographs!

     Michael the clone

     I met my clone for a cup of tea and he definitely has raging hormones; his testosterone levels must be through the roof. He talked a lot about the hot nurses; I didn’t see one. I only saw two nurses and that was one on the reception and the one who showed me in to see the doctor. They spend a lot of time in the basement partying with the clones and that was what my clone wanted to do. I was to pay for it of course. The supermarket in the hospital doesn’t sell alcohol and so he had to make do with soft drinks and chocolates. He said the nurses are really in to chocolate and I know that; the ones I used to get were 5 feet tall and 200 lbs from eating chocolate.

     He wants me to take him new clothes next time I go which I told him would be in 4 months time; I was wrong. I am going back next week, another appointment came this morning. I won’t explain this one, it’s a long story but I see the skin specialist next Friday; the traffic will be horrendous on a bloody Friday evening. I have just over a week now to get him clothes, a bathrobe, the deodorant I wear (the dead sexy one – he said) and stuff for shaving. I sent him back to the basement with Coca Cola in one bag and a large box of chocolates in the other.

     I wandered around taking photographs until I was seen by security! I am not allowed to take photographs in the hospital because of patient confidentiality. I know I explained that was why there are no patients on the photographs.

     Meanwhile…

     My friend is going for his psychiatric therapy this morning and said he may drop in later. He did joke about going to the nut house; so he is getting better. One of my Chinese students talked to me briefly. He had surgery a couple of days ago and was in pain. I told her it would be much better after 48 hours and to use ice or cold water to ease the pain; it seems I was right and she is better today. The other student is at home too and sent me an article on Chinese New Year; they have fireworks to frighten away evil spirits and give children money in red envelopes. The money has to be new, that is weird I always save new notes to put in cards for children at Christmas.

     Red Envelopes
     
     Red envelopes (►hóng bāo) are given to children and unmarried adults. Married couples also give red envelopes to their parents.

     The envelopes contain money. The money must be in new bills, and the total amount must be an even number. Certain numbers (such as four) are bad luck, so the total amount should not be one of these unlucky numbers. “Four” is a homonym for “death”, so a red envelope should never contain $4, $40, or $400.
     
     Chinese Zodiac
     
     The Chinese zodiac cycles every 12 years, and each year is named after an animal. The year of the Tiger starts on February 14, 2010 and continues to February 02, 2011.

     • Tiger : February 14, 2010 – February 02, 2011
     • Rabbit : February 03, 2011 – January 22, 2012
     • Dragon : January 23, 2012 – February 09, 2013
     • Snake : February 10, 2013 – January 30, 2014
     • Horse : January 31, 2014 – February 18, 2015
     • Sheep : February 19, 2015 – February 07, 2016
     • Monkey : February 08, 2016 – January 27, 2017
     • Rooster : January 28, 2017 – February 18, 2018
     • Dog : February 19, 2018 – February 04, 2019
     • Pig : February 05, 2019 – January 24, 2020
     • Rat : January 25, 2020 – February 11, 2021
     • Ox : February 12, 2021 – January 31, 2022

     Mandarin Greetings
     There are many sayings and greetings associated with the Chinese New Year. Family members, friends, and neighbors greet each other with congratulations and wishes for prosperity – ►Gōng Xǐ Fā Cái. Another common greeting is simply “Happy New Year”

     – ►Xīn Nián Kuài Lè.
     Children often greet their relatives with ►Gōng xǐ fā cái, hóng bāo ná lái – Happy New Year; now give me a red envelope.

     Not long to go now before we start the new Chinese year that I predicted would be prosperous for us! I’ll be famous for my ‘Farmville Millions’ blogs! 🙂

     I recently wrote that tryptophan found in poultry is good for stress and depression; the expert at the hospital agrees – I double checked my facts. If everyone starts consuming loads of tryptophan though; it would be bad for the manufacturers of Prozac! 🙂 The FDA said so…
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 21, 2011

        Today’s blog got me dizzy.
        🙂

        Reply
140. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 21, 2011

     Friday, 21 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Farmville Millions

     I have made 2,000,000 coins so far this morning and spent it on very expensive cows costing 1,000,000 each! The cows will give a return of 3,000 coins a day each and I started buying them at the beginning of the week and now have 19 of them. 19 at 3,000 coins are 57,000 coins every time they are harvested. I will harvest 140 times today! It is boring but should bring in about 7,000,000 and I will buy more million coin cows! I want 38 of them to get a maximum ROI on my dairy. I have other dairies but I won’t make more money by putting cows into them. I may do that just to make it more organised but it’s not important. The winners are the ones with the most XP and when I get 2,000,000 XP I go up a level. I get 10,000 XP every time I buy a 1,000,000 coin cow! Confused? This is why Farmville improves business skills; it can get complicated! 🙂

     Meanwhile in China

     My Chinese students have gone home for Chinese New Year and one is recovering in hospital following surgery and the other has been eating special eggs because it’s her birthday. I talked to her using a webcam and she showed me the eggs and a Chinese knot that is made for Chinese New Year to bring luck. I suggested to the student in hospital that she would feel better 48 hours after the surgery and she did. The power of suggestion worked yet again. It is amazing that even over the internet that post operative pain can be eased using the power of suggestion.

     Frugal Friday – Watt?

     A low energy lamp (light bulb) rated at 9 watts is the equivalent of a 40W incandescent light bulb and 15W is equivalent to 75W. The latter may be useful in some lamps but rarely fit and don’t give enough light in most rooms. I have a 60W fluorescent in my kitchen that gives more light then a 100W incandescent light bulb and lasts a lot longer. It also uses 40% less energy. The energy saving is because like low energy light bulbs; a fluorescent doesn’t get hot. The light is on about 12 hours in a day and so it would normally use 1.2 units of electricity. A unit is a kilowatt hour. The amount of electricity a 1 kilowatt (1000 watts) heater would take in an hour. So a 100W light bulb would use a KWH in 10 hours or 1 unit.

     It is useful to know how much electricity things take and appliances that give out heat or use heat take more power. The power supply on my laptop is rated at 90 watts and the power supplies on most desktop computers are rated at 200W. My microwave is rated at 1KW and the kettle is rated at around 3KW. The exact amount of electricity used depends on the supply voltage which can vary a little. In the UK it is supposed to be 230V but can be as high as 240V. Most electronics now take less power; televisions that are LCD take a lot less than the old ones. Electric motors are rated from 200 to 500 watts usually.

     The washing machine will use a lot more power heating the water than turning the drum using the motor. I put mine on when the water from the hot water tank is hot; that is heated by gas which is about 1/3 of the cost of electricity and so that hot water is much cheaper. I set the machine on the shortest cycle and a temperature of 40C; the lowest it will go. My clothes aren’t dirty; they just need freshening up and so they cycle is fine. The kettle obviously takes a lot of electricity being rated at 3KW, which takes 3 units if it was on for an hour. I put just enough water in to make a cup of tea and it boils in a minute. Don’t boil more water than you need. It does work out cheaper to boil water for cooking on my gas cooker rather than using the kettle.

     I use the microwave, but if I am putting the oven on for something else; I cook as much in the oven as I can. The most energy hungry appliance I have is the electric shower that is rated at 6KW. That would take 6 units of electricity in an hour. I’m not using it for an hour, but an extra few minutes can add to the electricity bill quite a lot. Turning the TV off standby at night may save a little; but not much.

     Saving on heating or air conditioning is really about insulating and draught proofing. I have internal draught proofing, this stops warm air going from one room to the other. I can turn radiators off in some rooms that I’m not using and they stay cold. I’m in England and so don’t need air conditioning. except in the car. I can keep rooms cool though because the hot air doesn’t get into some rooms in summer. The house faces east and so the sun is on the front in the mornings; so the rooms at the back are cool. You can also save energy by using colour; light colours, like in my kitchen reflect light and they reflect heat. If you problem is using too much electricity with air conditioning, reflecting the sun with white or pale coloured blinds or curtains will save energy and keep your rooms cool. Curtains can also keep heat in particularly after dark. If the curtains are lined they will keep more heat in. Saving energy helps to combat global warming and it saves money. I think my energy bills are around 40% cheaper than most people; this is a result of a combination of careful use and lots of insulation and draught proofing. I save the equivalent of $500 (US) a year compared to people I know; that is a useful amount of money! 🙂

     Incidentally, I studied electrical science, electronics and telecommunications in a former life…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
141. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 22, 2011

     Saturday, 22 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     The Farmville Millions blogs

     Yes, my dreamless ones; its Farmville Millions weekend! 🙂

     I am giving away all my secrets and you, too, can make millions of coins playing Farmville and go to level 100 and beyond. This week I have made 28,000,000 coins in 5 days and I am now past 2,000,000 XP and on level 106. The eBook “Farmville Secrets” tells you how to get to level 70 and make a few million coins; it also costs $27.00. I tell you how to get more and it’s FREE!

     I have written the first blog which is the basics of Farmville in case you have only just started. I will post that one today and then I have to do another screen shot of my dairy and write part two of “Farmville Millions” and post that to my WordPress blog and post it here too. Then you can start building a Farmville empire.

     Do you want Farmville Secrets? That is now out of date and you can make millions at Farmville and get the Gold award when you do a co-op. I have a co-op running today and all my friends wanted in; they know I will get Gold! I can get gold without their help; I can do it alone. You want to know how? Come back later and read part one of Farmville Millions. You want to know how to win at Farmville and I am going to tell you. Be the envy of your friends; but get in early. If you delay all your friends will read my blog and you will languish back on level 30 and they will all have raced ahead and be super rich Farmville freaks! I just checked my farm and I have to wait 5 minutes before I can make another 75,000 coins. You have to have a little patience at Farmville. I am ahead of the people on the other side of the pond though. I had breakfast at 9 and it’s now 10:20 and I am 5 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time and 8 hours ahead of California so I have a slight advantage today! 🙂

     Frugality continued…

     Yesterday, I did frugal blogs and I am glad to say they attracted attention; people are reading my WordPress blog! The photograph of chicken and chips made me hungry though. Even my clone was impressed, he sent me a message from the hospital basement computer asking if I would stop at the chip shop on my way to the hospital next Friday and get him chicken and chips for his dinner. I suppose I could; it would be cheaper than fish and chips.

     I want alternative investments. I have loft insulation to save money on heating, cavity wall insulation and sealed windows; draught proofing too conserves energy and saves money. Even the store cupboard in my kitchen can save money because I can bulk buy canned food and store it. The freezer is a frugal investment because I can bulk by frozen food and keep it in the freezer. My jar of candy is a frugal investment. I bought 50 grams for 59 pence a couple of weeks ago. I bought this jar for about £11.00 but it has 2.75 Kg in the jar. It cost less than £4.30 a Kg and so 100 grams is 43 pence. The 50 Gram bag was 59p; nearly 3X as such as what I usually pay.

     I bulk buy lots of things. The chicken is £4 a pack or 3 for £10 and so obviously I have the 3 packs and freeze a couple. I am thinking of planting runner beans again to grow in the garden and maybe iceberg lettuce. I have thought of another frugal investment — my digital photograph frame; it saves me printing out photos; although many people see my photographs on the internet. I upload them to my website or Facebook and share them. My cooking is of course a frugal investment; I cook tryptophan rich dishes that are cheap and cost less then a pound, most of the time. In fact, I fancy tryptophan rich egg and chips with green beans for dinner tonight.

     I am thinking about doing something spooky with aluminium foil. I have an idea for doing a picture and gluing aluminium foil to the back of it. I can then hang it on the wall in my home office just behind and above my router; the aluminium will reflect the radio signals and boost my wireless internet signal around the house; it’s more frugal than buying a new router…

     I could start an herb garden! That would be a frugal investment and I could dry the herbs to flavour my winter soups…

     I just made another 250,000 coins with a bit of Farmville harvesting; every little helps…

     The Farmville Millions Blogs will be posted later…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        Mike Maynard

        January 22, 2011

        Check out part one of my Farmville Millions blogs: http://wp.me/p194MF-1o

        I think it’s better with the screen shot so I can send it to you by email and the screen shot or post the blog here. The next blog will probably be tomorrow and tell people how to make millions of coins playing Farmville and get past level 100. I am now on level 107 and I have made 38,000,000 coins since Monday – please re-tweet my Farmville Millions tweets; this could go viral. There are 20,000,000 people playing farmville and they buy that book “Farmville Secrets” this is better and free.

        Reply
142. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 22, 2011

     It’s 11:30pm here and I’m getting a drink and then sleeping. I intend to make my blog viral tomorrow – re-tweet my link to Part One of Farmville Millions; I have interest. Today was my best ever for my WordPress blog and most people read yesterday’s blog! Frugal Friday! I lost count of how many millions I made today; but on target, I wanted to make 38,000,000 in 6 days; done that and more when I wake up! This blows the “Farmville Secrets” book; out of the water… 🙂 I write – pay me money…

     Reply
143. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 23, 2011

     Sunday, 23 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Farmville

     This should be titled “How to make your blog go viral or die trying!” part two of “Farmville Millions” will be written later. This isn’t easy but time consuming. I have done my morning harvest but the big harvest comes later. I have now made nearly 41,000,000 coins playing Farmville in 7 days and today isn’t over! I’m now on level 107! The top players are not happy that I am giving away our secrets! We are having a laugh about it though; some of us are the less serious players. The score at Farmville is in XP (experience points) and when you spend money you get 1% in XP and so I have spent 38,000,000 and so I got 380,000 XP in a week; that is more than most people get in a year or two! I was the first to go through 1,000,000 XP and hit level 100 and the top level not long ago was level 70.

     Now I don’t think there is a top level! To get to level 108 I have to get 2,200,000 XP. I need another 25,000 and I can get that easily; I just buy a couple of cows! The secret of today’s blog is dairy farming and my friend sent a message saying, “Are you going to fill your farm with cows? Ha ha!” It would work but the cows I want cost 1,000,000 coins each! The ROI on each cow when I harvest is 3,000 coins and I can harvest over 100 times in day. I can get 300,000 coins just from one cow in a day! I have 39 of those so far… With 20,000,000 people playing Farmville and all my friends who are writers wanting a blog that will go viral; they are now interested in playing Farmville! I am going to write about dairy farming later and in the back of my mind is a pig farming blog…

     The Chinese New Year

     My Chinese horoscope said this would be a period of preparation and then things take off with the new moon on the 3rd of February and the beginning of the Chinese New year. I imagine people will say to me “What do you do then?” I will reply, “I was a writer; but now I play Farmville for a living…” I’ll ask my clone to play for me; it gets boring after a while. I have nearly 3,000,000 in coins now. I could buy cows, but I want a screen shot showing loadsamoney!

     The big event of this year will be winning the lottery of course. You remember that I forecast the reunification of North and South Korea; that has been in the news and President Obama has had a word in the ear of Wu and asked if China can put some pressure on North Korea. I predicted a Sam Andreas fault Tsunami too – so stay off the beach… You could get shell shock…

     Blogging

     My WordPress blog is getting more popular, there are more views every month and people like the frugal Friday blogs. I have to keep coming up with frugal meals. I want a photo of a frugal meal and a blog about frugal investments for Friday. I can post a picture of my frugal soup this week and I have a few days to think up new frugal investments. The assistant editor who follows me on Twitter will probably steal the concept of frugal investments; she will if she has any sense anyway and discuss it with her editor. She may think of some new ones once she understands the concept. I am such a trend setter!

     The ideal blog should be between 500 words and 1,000 words; I usually go just over 1,000. I think today, I will be frugal with my words and make it shorter…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        Mike Maynard

        January 23, 2011

        “Farmville Millions” hasn’t gone viral yet; but people are reading it. I ended up making 15,000,000 coins today… I keep going through the levels and people will notice…

        Read the best and FREE Farmville Secrets here: http://wp.me/p194MF-1v

        If you click the About me page you can follow me on Twitter…

        Farmville Pigs next week…

        Reply
144. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 24, 2011

     Monday, 24 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Miserable Monday

     Farmville

     My Farmville Millions blogs didn’t go viral but they are still being read. I think around 100 people read the one yesterday; it is a start. I have made about 5,000,000 coins this morning. I bought 40 pigs at 300,000 coins each yesterday to make my pig sty better; whether that was a good idea or not I may find out later! I am also trying to find out the return on keeping pheasants and the best trees to keep.

     There was a picture on Facebook of the winning Farmville picture from last week with lots of comments and so I put a link to my blog in the comments. I can keep doing that to get the word out. I added another Farmville player too. One person is annoyed that I have given a major ‘secret’ away but she became the first amongst her friends by deleting the ones ahead of her! They are annoyed at being deleted and hope I will now force her in to second place behind me! I will probably be deleted then!

     Meanwhile…

     My sister is the latest member of my family to join Facebook; she wants to keep up with what everyone is doing! I now have all my brothers on, my sister, my niece; two nephews, two great nieces and a great nephew. I have my own tribe, except my brother hasn’t added me and one of my great nieces hasn’t yet, either.

     Prices…

     Prices are going up because fuel has gone up; I am mostly noticing it on food which is going up as much as 10% on a lot of basic items. Asda the British equivalent of Wal-Mart and owned by Wal-Mart is giving a guarantee that they are 10% cheaper than their competitors and offering vouchers for any difference. I can’t see anyone going to the trouble of checking prices on everything they buy to see if it’s 10% cheaper at Asda though. Petrol was £1.25 a litre where I went; that is about £5.60 a gallon. I think at current exchange rates that would price it at around $9.00 a gallon! That doesn’t bother me too much but the rise in diesel prices has been passed on to food. Lipton ice tea works out to £9.52 a gallon which makes petrol seem cheap. The naïve buy that expensive water from France which is naïve backwards and called Evian; that works out to £21.19 a gallon for water!

     The best price to compare the price of petrol to is printer ink which works out at over £5,000 a gallon. I am not going to check out Chanel No 5, but I bet that is expensive…

     Where have your shoes been?

     Do you ever think where the soles of you shoes have been and consider taking them off when you enter the house. They have gone through the excrement of numerous animals, dogs, cats, squirrels and foxes perhaps. You may have picked up a few human germs too, if you have used a public wash room. I read this stuff written by a doctor, she thinks we should take our shoes off when we enter the house.

     I also read some stuff from a doctor who thinks we have houses that are too germ free and so we don’t acquire immunity to germs. The one who wants more hygiene also thinks we should go around wiping hand rails up the stairs and door handles after visitors have left; especially if they have used the bathroom. The sub zero temperatures have gone and now it’s warmer at a pleasant 6 degrees centigrade.

     I have a cold. I will spread my germs around the place willy nilly and God help anyone who comes near me. I also have a painful neck that I have to fix. I woke up with this pain in my neck and shoulder last Wednesday; it should be better by now. It was hard driving to the hospital, it hurt every time I looked right; we do that a lot in Britain when we’re driving. I’ll try to fix it before I have to drive to the hospital again on Friday. I may try an NSAID if it’s not gone by Friday; that is a None Steroidal Anti Inflammatory Drug; who thinks up these acronyms?

     I have just poured boiling water on a piece of linen, I have no idea why. I think it was because I had some boiling water and didn’t want to waste it. I have a gel thing and you press a small metal disk and it gets warm; I thought I could try it on my painful neck. You recharge it by boiling it in water for 5 minutes; hence the boiling water. The linen needs to be soaked in boiling water before use and so why waste the boiling water? The linen is rough and will be used for cleaning windows easily and quickly. I may try it on my car windows too. I use the wash and wax I clean my car with on the kitchen floor and it stays clean longer. That is a good frugal tip for my Frugal Friday blog! 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 25, 2011

        You changed your photo, eh?
        . . . just like me
        🙂
        You will have to pardon my scant attention to responses . . . for the time being. The new term is beginning and I have an overflowing plate of activities. Having spent two weeks on the beaches of Mexico set me back a bit.

        Reply
145. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 25, 2011

     Tuesday, 25 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Aquarians

     It’s my birthday next Tuesday and so I thought you may like to know what this website says about us Aquarians.
     
     Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to “Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes,” and are prepared to learn from everyone.
     Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humour.
     
     I am very diverse in everything I do and have a dry sense of humour; I learn from people, I will steal ideas from absolute strangers.

     Farmville

     My Farmville blog still hasn’t gone viral, but I am gentle and patient; it says so above; I will make them read it! To make millions of coins you have to buy belted cows and to buy belted cows you have to get up to a high level. People are reading part one of my blogs but not part two; this could be because they are beginners or they could be the dreamless ones… My blog would have done better if when I posted the link on Facebook and clicked “share” it actually did share the link; I don’t think it did.

     To sleep perchance to dream

     I couldn’t sleep and so I had a drink that is high in tryptophan to help me sleep and then another drink. I got off to sleep eventually. I had weird dreams; I don’t think these will come true. We sometimes try to face our fears in our dreams; one of mine is big dogs, I was all right I can be scarier than a big dog at times. Then I couldn’t find my car and set of the alarm to find it, strangely enough I was only talking about finding my car on a large car park by setting off the alarm and making it scream and flash it’s lights; the other day. I also had a dark haired young lady pursue me at some outdoor event and it later turned out she drove a new Volkswagen; that was when I went looking for my car. I also went into the library; now that could pertain to the future, but it was embarrassing. Have you noticed how we tend to dream embarrassing things in dreams? No I wasn’t naked or anything, I just walked in on a meeting uninvited; but being ‘shy, gentle and patient’; little things occasionally embarrass me.

     Michael the clone

     I still feel awful and may have a cold; it’s about 8 or 9C and may go colder by Friday when I’m due to go to the hospital. I have to phone to get a prescription later. Now I’m old and decrepit I don’t have to pay; that is just as well, I need eight items. It gets worse, I need eye drops for my irritable eyes, all the stuff the specialist last week told me to keep taking; the antibiotics the skin specialist told me to take, something for the cold and a large box of biscuits. I know having biscuits (cookies) on prescription is weird; I did consider bread this morning. They are gluten free and so they send me enough to last a month. I had my new gluten free food list arrive this morning by a strange coincidence. I can get other stuff on prescription but I need milk free and I have to check everything; it’s a nightmare. I have some pasta in the cupboard that has been lurking there for years. The bread tastes horrible and gluten free beer is so expensive, you have to take out a mortgage. They should put beer on prescription and make that free. I could at least die happy.

     Michael the clone doesn’t have these problems; he is being experimented on this week and having bed baths done by hot young nurses three times a day. They do take him to the bathroom once a day apparently but it does take three of them, two nurses just to wheel his intravenous drips. I hope he is alright. They are pumping about 50 grams of ascorbic acid an hour into him with one of those drips; I think the other one is saline. Did you know if they put water in the drip it would prove fatal? It has to be saline because of osmosis. I had a saline drip in to one arm supplemented with various stuff like calcium. I have some calcium tablets with vitamin D; I keep forgetting to take those. On the other IV was stuff to feed me, a huge bag of white stuff dripped into me 24 hours a day and if I scratched my nose, I would get an air bubble in the plastic tube; it would stop dripping and an alarm would go off. Michael will be all right, I have never known him wipe his nose let alone scratch it; I hope he doesn’t catch my cold from me on Friday. Nose wiping could be a whole new experience for him. He should be alright with that amount of vitamin C inside him; the germs wouldn’t dare attack him.

     Isn’t it weird that I am an Aquarian and my clone is an Aries … I could do his horoscope; I know the exact time he was cloned.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 28, 2011

        sure, let’s hear his horoscope
        🙂
        BTW, I’ve started my online course Social Media for Journalists. Here’s the first post: http://sharisax.com/2011/01/24/which-comes-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg-the-medium-or-the-message
        I need you to write something JUST FOR THE STUDENTS!!!

        Reply
146. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 26, 2011

     Wednesday, 26 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Disasters for journalists using WEB II

     In web II you will have readers commenting on your writing and so you have feedback; this is good if you write good stuff; but bad if you make mistakes. I wrote about a young lady taking her clothes off in the park; it was a dream! I named her as Keira Knightley the next week; it was a dream! A journalist wrote that Keira was anorexic and she sued; she did give all the money to charity. Try not to get sued and always take the side of the rich and famous (grovel, grovel) and use their Christian names be nice. Refer to bad guys by their surname and if they say something stupid put it in quotes.
     
     Police constable Andrew Anderson arrested the suspect Benson at the scene carrying the alleged stolen property. Benson said “It wasn’t me, I’m innocent,” when questioned by detectives.

     Refer to continuing news. The news recently on this side of the pond was that her Majesty the Queen of England got herself a Fan Page on Facebook. Her grandson, William is to marry his girl friend and it will be a public holiday. The news however, is that Kate Middleton got her account discontinued on Facebook just because she has the same name as Prince William’s fiancé and is going out with Jonathan Ross? Not the Jonathan Ross, just someone with the same name. The Kate Middleton, the fiancée of Price William doesn’t even have a Facebook page and whats-is-name is an American and has no chance of a bloody knighthood; so why bother? You can also suggest something like, there were rumours about the death of the Princess of Wales and people still believe she was murdered on orders from the house of Windsor. Would it be the end of Royalty if the British people were to believe that was true?

     Moving on

     On a website on this side of the pond a financial journalist, Cambridge educated of course mentioned a device for saving energy called Vphase earlier in the week. It got some negative comments, but the website was promoting it by the end of the week. It was a scam and didn’t do the journalist or the website any good. It offers to reduce the voltage in the UK from 245 volts to 220 volts and save 10% on electricity bills. Now I used to do electrical science but even someone who has done physics knows ohms law and V = IR. The resistance of a 100 watt light bulb is 576 ohms, so if you cut the voltage by 10% the current (I) will also be cut. The formula for power out is W (watts) = V (volts) X I (amperes) which would be 220V X .38194 amperes; which equals 84.2 watts. Your 100 watt bulb is now dimmed to 84 watts and you save not 10% on running it but 16% and you are 16% dimmer. You would need a white stick to find your way to the bathroom… To make it worse the device doesn’t work pat around 8 amperes so useless for kettles, showers, hot water heating, etc… I write on finance and I also know my physics…

     I am researching a frugal blog for Friday; I did post a soup recipe, but can tweet that on Friday as being Frugal too. I am doing the A to Z of frugality. I’m starting with A for Alcohol and other addictions and working my way through to X for X-rated and where to get free porn…

     A blog should be between 500 and 1,000 words; I have done 600, enough for today…

     I’ll phone my clone…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 28, 2011

        I see . . . frugality before Friday.

        Reply
147. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 27, 2011

     Thursday, 27 January 2011, Sierra Oscar
     DIGITAL INTIMACY
     (Reuters Life!) – Nearly four out of five women and three of five men say they believe texting, Facebook and other social networking tools cause new couples to jump into bed faster, a survey released on Monday showed.
     But only 38 percent of women say they have actually slept with a date any sooner because of digital intimacy, according to the 1,200 women and men who participated in the third annual sex survey by Shape and Men’s Fitness magazines.
     Smart phones and laptops are the new toys that lead to the bedroom, it said, with nearly 80 percent of women and 58 percent of men saying social media tools leads to sex faster.
     
     New toys that lead to the bedroom…

     Precognitions

     I did some predictions for the New Year based upon my precognitions. One was that a new city would be built and that looks like coming true, China is planning one as I write… I have lost the link to that story; I think it was on Smart Planet. I also predicted a unification of North and South Korea and the President of The United States has asked his Chinese counterpart to put some pressure on their ally North Korea and try to make them more cooperative. It seems the leadership is due to change in North Korea too and so that prediction could come true.

     No sign of a Tsunami on the San Andreas Fault but there was one on Tuesday that hit Indonesia and they appear to be getting more frequent. I would have predicted floods but they are too common; we have lots already but some are in unusual places like Australia. I could have predicted terrorist bombings but we have had three major incidents already and we are only in January. The Russian airport one appears to have been the worst, but there was one in Pakistan and a suicide bomber in Afghanistan this week.

     I also predicted that Shari would have her hair cut and go on a trip on a plane; Acapulco doesn’t count, she went by bus. I also predicted life would get better starting with the Chinese New Year and so we don’t have long to wait now. I need to find out when my neighbours birthday is because I wrote it in a diary and can’t find that diary. I just found one from 2006 and life has changed; I don’t know how I functioned taking so many drugs and being so sick. It does affirm that life can get better though and even though I was very sick; I did my best to help people when I could.

     Farmville Millions

     I’m still trying to make my Farmville Millions blog go viral; I am amassing a small fortune with the intention of doing another blog and starting with a screen shot showing I have 100,000,000 coins; that will take the numbers off the screen!
     
     Meanwhile…

     I forgot the reason I need to find out my neighbour’s birthday is because she reminded me that my sister’s birthday next month has a big fat zero on the end and my neighbour is the same age. I shall have to get them both fancy birthday cards. I might go shopping this afternoon; it will be slightly quieter in the town centre and I may find birthday cards. I looked at a thingy last night; like an Ipad but made by Samsung and runs Android. I don’t know enough about them, but they sell them at a store near me and so I could go and get a demonstration. The fact that there is a hot babe in there who is interested in my writing didn’t influence my decision.
     
     Michael the clone

     I nearly forgot the visit from two nurses this morning; the student nurse was a hot babe as usual; but with a sun tan. She has a perfect sun tan in England; in January? I think she is either faking it or using a sun bed; both options that a nurse should avoid. I have something to talk to my clone about tomorrow. He got paid for this week’s experiment. I think he was ripped off and should have been paid much more, but he does get free bed baths from hot young nurses. He got clonic and colonic confused and agreed to colonic irrigation every day next week. I have explained where the 28 feet of plastic tubing will be going and he is going to renegotiate his fee. It is good to see him becoming financially independent though; he can pay for the tea tomorrow.
     
     Finally…

     I’ll work on some Chinese New Year predictions for next week. I am researching Super foods; did you know that one, blackcurrant was banned in the USA in the early 19th century? No wonder all the cowboys kept catching cold; not enough vitamin C.
     

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 28, 2011

        But I DID take a plane to Zihautanejo 🙂

        Reply
148. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 28, 2011

     Friday, 28 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Frugal Friday

     Frugal Investments

     Frugal investments are investments that save you money rather than make you money. I went shopping yesterday – big mistake; they take money from you… I bought birthday cards at a specialist shop and expected them to be expensive. The last one I bought was at a local shop and cost £2.50 but I bought two yesterday for £1.74; which is a big saving. They were nice cards too and a big selection, in fact two big. I think they have around 10,000 Valentines cards.

     Then over the road to where everything costs a pound! This is where I have to be careful because some things are a bargain and some things appear to be a bargain and aren’t. The de-icer for my car was much cheaper but it is a brand I’m not familiar with and so I’ll try it. The notepads I really needed to write notes and they appear to be made from recycled toilet paper or was it the cheap pens? Then inhalers, two for a pound are a bargain, I didn’t even know they still made them and they worked great when I needed to breathe easier in bed last night. The 3 pairs of socks for £1.00 I still haven’t tried and probably will wear them occasionally. They are synthetic and I usually wear cotton and so I’ll see how I get on; I don’t really want sweaty feet to return with a vengeance.

     The roll of kitchen foil should be fine, what can go wrong? The hair gel was the same brand as I usually have but I later discovered that it is hair paste; what is the difference, who knows. I’ll try it, it has a lot of chemicals in it and sounds like really firm hold and so should suit me.

     Today I’m on safe ground; my neighbour is shopping for me and I don’t need much. The chicken is £4 a pack or 3 for £10 and so obviously I’ll take the saving and buy three. I tested frozen against fresh chicken and they taste the same. I’m having both today, the frozen is really cheap but there is a lot of fat on that I have to cut off. It will still work out cheaper. The main reason for that though, is it cooks better in the oven and the skin browns and the skin browns and so I get a better photograph for blogs and websites. That will go in the freezer.

     I tried to remember how old the freezer is, and I remember putting food in there for a barbecue 25 years ago so it’s lasted a while. It was looking bad and so it was restored using plasticoat; I have a ‘before’ photograph; I shall have to take an ‘after’ photograph for my frugal blogs. A big freezer obviously saves money because you can bulk buy food and freeze it, freeze home grown vegetables and herbs and even make ice!

     Education

     Education is a great frugal investment. I studied electronics and electrical science and so when my kettle didn’t work this morning; I knew just where to hit it! I have also got my desk top computer working; a little slow at 1 GHz, but it is working. If you only know how to change a fuse it can save you money. I have also made great use of all the stuff I learned at school studying English language and literature. If I had to choose between two women I would choose one like Biddy rather than an Estelle… That is a reference to Great Expectations by Dickens if you didn’t get it…

     I hated the Shakespeare but we had one of his worst books to study; some of the other works I liked. Tennyson, I can take it or leave it and I left it back in grammar school. I learned most about stuff like rhetorical devices and even though I can’t remember which an adjective is and which an adverb is most of the time; I can still write. I do need a protagonist for a new comedy novel; someone male who I can identify with and someone very funny. I need to write comedy again!

     While I was at college, I met a psychology student and that was my preferred subject anyway; I went to lots of psychology lectures with my new friend and weird encounter groups! There were lots of hot babes in mini skirts; but I would have gone anyway. I also went to this guy’s house and he taught us hypnosis, he left the Midlands and I assumed he went back to America. I never heard from him again and couldn’t even remember his name. I know who he is now; he said he was writing about it. He only wrote one book but it has since become something of a bible for some hypnotherapists. Hypnotherapists use scripts and he wrote the best and I was taught by him and so I write the same sort of scripts. This is why a hypnosis Institute started following me on twitter after I wrote a blog on hypnosis; they recognised the script style and the theory and practice principles I wrote about.

     I didn’t just go to college, I worked too! My work was classified under the Official Secrets act and so you can guess what I did! It was diverse though and when I went to London I went to a training centre to learn practical skills to go with the knowledge. The first time wasn’t too bad, the second time was a bit of a nightmare; examinations to qualify and the skills were so diverse I didn’t have a clue a lot of the time. I did wreck a very expensive machine; it was not my fault the safety feature was turned off. I suppose I should have switched it off when it made that God awful noise, but that could have been normal…

     More on Frugal investments next week; like growing your own, make do and mend, cooking, frugal driving, frugal fashion and many other money saving ideas that will make you wealthy and healthy…

     Coming soon…

     Michael the Clone (hospital appointment today)
     Farmville Millions (I have 82,000,000 and have made 112,000,000 so far since last Monday)
     Chinese New Year Predictions and precognitions

     It’s a busy day today, lunch next, then reply to a student here in England, research for Farmville Millions and a hospital appointment at sub zero temperatures; that will be a sod to drive to. An assistant editor is reading my blogs, I thought she would steal ideas; one of her journalists tried to write a funny article yesterday and the style was a lot like mine; not so funny though. I can write something for your students; how not to be boring…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 29, 2011

        How not to be boring would be GREAT for this blog . . . but not exactly what I was looking for. I need something with more serious substance, i.e. facts 🙂

        Reply
149. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 29, 2011

     Saturday, 29 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Satirical Saturday

     It should be Satirical Saturday but you’ll have to take what you can get! The stuff for student journalists will probably be written tomorrow. I’m running late and have to cook lunch.

     I had a busy day yesterday, the Farmville Millions have gone over 100,000,000 and that should improve when I do the screen shot and write another blog. My Frugal Friday – the A to Z of frugality got a little attention and a mention on a website with all things frugal. They did a good excerpt and gave a link to my blog so that is a step in the right direction. It’s early yet to see how well that will do; I was late posting it. I was still writing it after my return from the hospital. I have started a list of predictions to write a blog about for Chinese New Year.

     Hospital and my clone

     It was half a degree above freezing when I set out for the hospital and after scraping the ice off the back window; visibility out of the back was still poor with condensation. I put the rear screen heater on and even inside the car was cold. I was warming my hand by putting them over the heater vents every time I stopped. I had gel things to warm my hands in case they got really cold and my fingers started to drop off. I got stuck in a long line of traffic close to the hospital, but I cope well with that now; it used to really irritate me. I popped another piece of herbal candy in my mouth, turned up the Mozart and warmed my hands over the heater vents and waited patiently. I was too patient — the traffic moved on and I didn’t notice.

     The news at the hospital was as expected, but I found out why my left foot keeps hurting and so it wasn’t a wasted journey. I can get something from the pharmacist and he said it won’t cure it but I can control it.

     My life is all about controlling things and never quite fixing them.

     I had to go to route 107; I went to route 117. It was empty and I checked my letter after a walk of over 100 metres down a long corridor. I thought I would be late if I walked back and then downstairs and then another 100 metres along another long corridor. I figured where I had to go was right beneath me and so I went through the fire doors; that was weird, but very well designed. There are two sets of sealed fire doors all along the long corridor making it fairly safe to escape the smoke and fumes of a fire. I get through the fire doors and down four flights of stairs and through another double set of fire doors and I was right. There it was, I arrived breathless but on time. I had a good 5 minutes of advice from a skin specialist and was off to meet:

     Michael the clone

     The new café was still open and Michael decided on a Coke, I didn’t see anything I liked and so we went to sit away from the other person in there at an open area, where our discussion about colonic irrigation wouldn’t be overheard. I got an energy drink from the supermarket; that was a rip off, but I was thirsty and the drink I had taken with me was in the car.

     Michael has re-negotiated his fee for the colonic irrigation experiment this week. I explained it to him using the internet instant messenger. When he realised how much plastic tubing was involved, he soon complained. You have to admit, he has guts to do some of this stuff. He can’t get a bank account and that bothered him, he needed a birth certificate, driving licence or a passport. He doesn’t even have a clone certificate.

     I bought some birthday cards this week; I couldn’t find any Clone day cards but the nurses will look after him. They will make his day special, an extra shower or bed bath and a bar of chocolate in bed and he will be happy. It is weird talking to an eight year old with a weird knowledge of medicine that looks like a sixteen year old. I told him about my injection. Have I mentioned the nurses came back yesterday and I actually got my injection? Michael has no fear of needles, he seems to like them.

     My horoscope for today:
     
     You can head off that niggling worry that has been causing some grief by giving it all of your attention and finally nailing it. Once you have, you can go back to roaring along like a tyro, so however distracting and irritating it is to stop, you will feel happier once you have tackled this. Also, it can help you to then truly focus on the here and now.
     
     Tyro had twin sons, a little like me and Michael…

     Michael’s horoscope for today, he is an Aries…
     
     Make your weekend Activity Central. Even if ordinarily you prefer more sedate pursuits, you can find yourself doing them that much more frenetically than usual. If you are a lover of going out and pitching into the social whirl, this really can be one of those weekends when it is a case of the more the merrier. Who knows what might happen? Love could spark too from this Aries.

     Yes, he does like sedate pursuits, lying in bed being waited on by nurses. There is a party tonight with hot young nurses from around the hospital; he won’t miss that. Love could spark? He loves every nurse in the place and has been in the shower with most of them. He doesn’t like the male nurses though, he hasn’t figured out that most of them are gay and I’m not explaining that to him. He will be frightened to drop the soap in the shower…
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
     1. 

        Mike Maynard

        January 29, 2011

        Check this out:

        http://www.kcnn.org/resources/journalism_20/

        I’m off too sleep, Sunday blog in about 12 hours…

        My blog is getting better, double the number of views every month. It’s not viral though, maybe next week…

        Reply
        1. 

           sharisax

           January 29, 2011

           WOW, Mike, thanks for the site. I’m downloading and looking forward to LEARNING more and more!! Thanks for being “in my corner”
           🙂
           although, of course, we’re in “different corners” so to speak
           🙂

           Reply
     2. 

        sharisax

        January 29, 2011

        love to read YOUR take on social media for journalists — even if it has the satirical twist
        🙂

        Reply
150. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 30, 2011

     Sunday, 30 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Research for would-be journalists and other writers

     I wrote the A to Z of frugality for my blog http://Mike10613.Wordpress.com and someone took an excerpt from it and put it on their blog and posted a link. If someone clicks the link, I will see it in my stats; but no one has yet and so how do I know that the link is there? I have a Google alert on my user name Mike10613 and when the Google bot found my blog and that excerpt it send me an email. I know two things from this, the search engine has visited my blog and I have an inward link from another blog. This is simple but automated research.

     The stats are also important because I put a couple of links on a website to my Farmville blog and someone followed one; so they will work and I need more!

     The Google bot paid my blog another visit this morning and I received another email telling me it has found my latest Farmville millions blog. This snippet also came from a Google alert:
     
     The stubbornly high rate of inflation puts pressure on the MPC to raise interest rates sooner rather than later. Indeed, the minutes of the MPC’s January …
     
     That came from the Scottish Herald and I received that because I have an alert on interest rates. I write on finance and invest and interest rates affect the economy. Two members of the Bank of England MPC (Monetary Policy Committee) voted for a rise in interest rates this month against one member last month. I also have alerts on the MPC and FTSE. It is also handy to have the weather emailed to me and that includes a daily horoscope. It says it will be -4 this morning and 2C this afternoon. I advised my friend to drive with his heater on and window slightly open, he has a cold and was going for an audition for a radio presenter’s job; I may do the same this afternoon.

     Meanwhile my horoscope could be a laugh…
     
     Imagine driving a car through a big city. And that every set of traffic lights that you reach, are switched to green. This is how your solar horoscope is today, a time when things can just naturally flow well for you. The thing to avoid is rushing to the next set of lights because you fear that they’ll be red. In other words, have faith and don’t try too hard Aquarius.
     
     I intend a leisurely drive and maybe take my camera, winter colours can be interesting. I can practice frugal driving although I do that most of the time anyway. You can do research even going out for a leisurely Sunday afternoon drive and take photographs.

     The journalist of the future will probably have to be a photo-journalist and video-journalist and be interactive. I have a newsletter to read from a financial site and they write about personal finance, savings, credit cards, insurance and they run out of ideas fast. They inform, but you also have to entertain and amuse and get feedback; this is web II.

     I just read two newsletters from financial websites and they have links in to stories on their websites; the first was totally boring and they don’t do comments. It’s not interactive and they also steal ideas from other sites, they aren’t original and the second newsletter had links to articles previous published. There was only one new article, I can sum it up in a few words; it explained that people forget things like carpets and kids toys when insuring their home contents and if you house catches fire you don’t get a big enough payout. Most insurance companies send an assessor anyway and they don’t always pay out full value. He article was by an overworked assistant editor who has a few young just out of college journalists assisting and a few guest writers sending in copy from home. The website won’t last long if they don’t inform, entertain and amuse.

     I haven’t had my newsletters from Reuters yet this morning. One is the Oddly enough news and that can be amusing. It’s Sunday and so there is less financial news and more political news, one financial news letter gives me a lot of information that mainly relates to stock prices; this is an extract from Friday’s:
     
     FTSE 100 – Risers
     Inmarsat (ISAT) 681.50p +2.40%
     Capita Group (CPI) 687.50p +1.85%
     Man Group (EMG) 296.50p +1.58%
     Randgold Resources Ltd. (RRS) 4,847.00p +0.79%
     BAE Systems (BA.) 348.90p +0.49%
     Legal & General Group (LGEN) 113.20p +0.35%
     Sage Group (SGE) 296.30p +0.30%
     Smith & Nephew (SN.) 697.50p +0.29%
     Burberry Group (BRBY) 1,082.00p +0.19%
     Bunzl (BNZL) 760.50p +0.13%
     
     There was also a list of the fallers, the GDP for the last quarter in the USA and information like that. I even got a little information about China not raising interest rates and curbing the booming property markets in other ways. They have been making getting a mortgage harder for a while now. They want a fast growing economy but without a property bubble or inflation.

     There are a lot of ways to use the Internet for research and it has to be a continuous process. I also joined a peer to peer lending scheme last February and put in £500 and so far I have interest of about £35 and a payment of £50 for introducing someone. That is an interest rate of around 7% and with the introduction a return of 16% and so I can write an article on that in February and it will stand a good chance of getting published. I have researched it for 12 months and anyone who asks for that for free has no chance whatsoever! I shall offer it to that really rubbish website on finance because it will annoy their competitors who know me! They refer to them as their nemesis!

     I’m not getting comments on my blogs and they are important, the web is interactive. I did get comments when I did interactive fiction and that was important; it fed my creative spirit and gave me inspiration. It was good fun too.

     If you aspire to be an award winning journalist, you may get an award decided by your betters or even your peers; but in future, it will probably be the people that matter; your readers. Interaction is important and listening to your readers using services like Twitter is important. It is a two-way street, you can tweet your headlines and read the reactions.

     I would also advise would-be journalists to learn a little HTML and understand a little how websites work. Hyperlinks in newsletters drive your subscribers to new articles and features; cross site hyperlinks will give more information on a particular subject and off site links will give even more information. Advertising is the bread and butter of newspapers and now websites and it gets more sophisticated. It can be tailored to individual requirements.

     On Facebook you can click like or dislike an advertisement and they are tailored to your preferences. Amazon is particularly good at doing that, I had an email this morning with offers on bridge cameras; I researched them for a friend and he bought from Amazon and so the system isn’t perfect but effective. They got a sale in a round about way. You should be aware of advertising – that is where the money comes from…

     Finally, read my blogs and look for the pearls…

     You could consider re-posting and tweeting the link?

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        January 31, 2011

        OKIDOKE to the last request, but I have to wait for all my students to be gathered into the Facebook group for the class. Do you want to be invited?
        🙂

        Reply
151. 

     Mike Maynard

     January 31, 2011

     Monday, 31 January 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Miserable Monday

     Yes it is Monday morning and I am not happy…

     This is interesting: http://www.stockopedia.co.uk/content/twitter-most-popular-social-media-channel-for-ftse-100-53203/

     That snippet is about Twitter and this snippet is about LinkedIn:
     
     Online business network group LinkedIn filed for its much-awaited IPO. LinkedIn made $10.1m on revenue of $161m in the first nine months of 2010. “We expect our revenue growth rate to decline, and as we continue to invest for future growth, we do not expect to be profitable on a GAAP basis in 2011,” the company warned in its filing. Last year LinkedIn lost $4 m on sales of $120.2m.

     You may remember Goldman Sachs valued Facebook at 100X its earnings; the same rationale would value LinkedIn at over a billion dollars. I think when we see what happens to LinkedIn when it goes public that could impact on how Facebook raises capital.

     Do I want to be invited to this Facebook group? Yes, why not… What does it do?

     I miss my Chinese students they are on holiday for Chinese New Year and one is recovering from surgery in hospital.

     I have just read two stories that are absolute rubbish. The first was that 50% of men will forgive infidelity by their wives if it’s with another woman rather than a man; but women won’t forgive infidelity by a man with another man. The researchers’ came up with weird explanations with no mention of AIDS and other nasty diseases. What planet are they from?

     The other story was about a member of The Bank of England’s monetary policy committee voting for an interest rate increase this month. He is apparently ‘shocked’ at the economic downturn in the final quarter of 2010. He should get out more; he may have noticed the bloody snow. We stopped spending mate; it was too bloody cold to go out shopping! The good news is people spent less money and so paid off a few debts and the British people are now marginally less bankrupt.
     
     (Reuters) – A Canadian woman has become the first person in the world to graduate with a Masters degree in Beatles studies.
     Former Miss Canada finalist, Mary-Lu Zahalan-Kennedy was one of the first 12 students to sign up for the Liverpool Hope University course on the Fab Four when it began in 2009 and was the first to graduate, the university said on Wednesday.
     “I am so proud of my achievement,” Zahalan-Kennedy said. “The course was challenging, enjoyable and it provided a great insight into the impact the Beatles had and still have to this day across all aspects of life.”

     I could do that; I remember when they were popular. I actually bought one of their records. I forget which one, but it had Revolution on the B side. My word processor had underlined that last sentence because the grammar is so awful. We had our own little club and all we did was play cards and listen to the Beatles.
     
     ICT in Action Week

     I really dislike the acronym ICT, it’s used by the dreamless ones. I can never remember what it stands for, information and communication technologies; or something like that. People who use that acronym communicate too much; they talk too much anyway. I have to try to sort out an assignment with the title “ICT in Action Week” for a student; I have read a little of it. It is full of acronyms and I can’t make out why she has mentioned that some kids during ICT in action week had school dinners and some had sandwiches.

     I find Chinese business students much easier to work with; they just want to run multi national companies. My students in the UK want to be teachers! Why can’t they study something useful like the Fab Four? If you study something unusual and get a masters; you are an expert! Why be a teacher when you can be a Beatleologist? I shall read and try to improve that paper after lunch; I have a feeling it may need re-writing.

     That is enough for a Monday morning…
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 5, 2011

        Sorry, Mike, it’s already Friday night, and I’ve been swamped with all my new Social Media for Journalist students. THX so much for all your contributions to the discussion. I will definitely check out the two links in the beginning of your post — but only after i get through all the Weekly Reports submitted by my students today!

        Reply
152. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 1, 2011

     Tuesday, 01 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Whoops I was in such a hurry to get through my mountain of email and Facebook messages I forgot to post the blog! 🙂
     
     Happy birthday to me

     Yes, it’s my birthday and so this could be a short blog. It took an hour doing the email greetings; the most bizarre was the offer of a voucher on my birthday to go paint balling. It’s about 4C now and so it’s warming up. I had to reset my password on MySpace to log in to there. I also got lot of greetings on Facebook and one from a LinkedIn member. The first was from Sydney, Australia; they are about 11 hours ahead of England. My sister is coming to see me about lunch time and so I have to write fast and get lunch ready before then!
     
     Blogging
     
     My Farmville blogs haven’t gone viral yet and I read that over 30,000,000 people a month play now. The monthly page view figures have dramatically increased though and I get views every day now. I have also figured out how to make my WordPress blogs more like a website with different pages. I can start making the blogs look better by using HTML and links. I did a blog of Internet tips, mainly about hot linking and did some cross site links and hot linked it into YouTube, Photobucket and Twitter.

     My hot link to music wouldn’t work and so I gave up on that but may get it working next time. I may start doing reviews of things like my 1 Tb external hard drive; that has been good. My microwave is going rusty inside after only 18 months. I could take photographs! I did the A to Z of frugality last Friday for my Frugal Friday blog and that seems popular. I will take each item on that list and write a blog about that specifically and that will give my frugal Friday blogs some continuity. I also intend to do more frugal food. I read a Chinese recipe and hope to alter it to my own recipe. It was chicken drumsticks marinated in a soy sauce mix eaten with fried rice and veggies. That could be nice if I cook it right.
     
     To sleep perchance to dream
     
     I couldn’t sleep last night and the night before I slept too deeply and so felt a little unwell yesterday. I had a couple of drinks on Sunday night and that helped me sleep; I stayed off last night and want to give up alcohol again. I may be a wreck sober, but at least I’m a wreck that can write! I feel a little too edgy and sharp; but that is what it takes sometimes to write interesting stuff. I had weird dreams too; I wonder why I dream about burying things and digging them up?
     
     Students
     
     I had an email from a student here in England, I did her assignment yesterday; she is still recovering from surgery and has to drive to the university on Friday with the assignment. Her spelling and grammar sucks a little and so I have at least improved her assignment. It was about making children aware of e-safety and so not a subject I know that much about but I thought its common sense. The main problem is getting the message across to the kids, they used a website with a cartoon on it; I hope the kids understood it better than me! ICT takes in a wide range of topics from sending text and video on cell phones to using Facebook and then as they get older can involve Twitter and LinkedIn.

     I haven’t heard from my Chinese students, one of them is still in hospital and can only access the net using her phone and it could be a problem getting it charged. The other one is more selfish and probably doesn’t know when my birthday is anyway.

     That is my birthday blog, 600+ words in 30 minutes without life support…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 5, 2011

        THANK HEAVENS I didn’t miss your birthday. From this report, I suspect you must do almost as much as I do in a day. I wish your sleep was better though. We need the rest to get everything done during the day!

        Reply
153. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 2, 2011

     02/02/2011 10:22am, Sierra Oscar

     Queensland, Australia about to get lashed by Cyclone Yasi

     As America sleeps, Queensland, Australia prepares itself for Cyclone Yasi. They are already struggling to recover from the recent floods and now a cyclone is due to hit in just over an hour’s time.

     Cyclone Yasi, a category five storm, will make landfall on Wednesday night local time (after 1200 GMT). State Premier Anna Bligh said those in coastal areas expected to flood should have left their homes already. The state disaster co-ordinator warned residents they would be on their own for up to 24 hours when Yasi strikes.
     “The time for movement and evacuation has now passed,” Mrs Bligh said, adding that Yasi would be “the most catastrophic storm to ever hit our coast”.
     The storm is likely to take out power lines and cell phone masts and people will have no help from emergency services for some 24 hours. People who haven’t evacuated are being advised it is now too late and they should prepare one room in their homes as a ‘safe room’ and hold up there until it’s all over. They have been stocking up on food and water ready for the emergency.
     
     The USA gets more severe weather

     The US is bracing for another onslaught of bitter winter weather as a major storm gathers in the mid-west.

     The storm is expected to affect a third of the country, stretching from Colorado in the country’s centre to the north-eastern state of Maine.

     Some 6,000 flights were cancelled on Tuesday, with more cancellations foreseen on Wednesday.

     Nearly 27,000 homes in Texas and 14,000 in Ohio were without power and storm alerts were issued in 19 states.

     Officials in the city of Chicago, which is expecting 24in (60cm) of snow, said its public schools would close on Wednesday for their first “snow day” in 12 years.

     In Missouri, more than a foot (30cm) of snow had fallen by midday, the Associated Press (AP) news agency reported, with more continuing to blanket the state.

     Meteorologist Jeff Johnson of the National Weather Service in Iowa told AP the storm was sure to “cripple transportation for a couple of days”.

     The series of storms that has hit the US this winter is also wreaking havoc with government budgets. Clean-up costs are placing pressure on already tight public funds.
     
     Protests in Egypt

     Protesters in Cairo’s Tahrir Square chant “Irhal” (“go”) and wave shoes as they watch Mubarak speak on a big screen

     Pressure remains on Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak to quit immediately after a speech in which he said he would not stand for re-election in September.

     US President Barack Obama said an orderly transition “must begin now”, while Turkey’s PM Erdogan said Mr Mubarak should take a “different step”. In Tuesday night’s speech, Mr Mubarak promised to leave at the next polls, and pledged constitutional reform. Thousands took to the streets to voice their support for him last week.

     In a Tweet, movie Star Danny DeVito said “We have to be on the people’s side, human rights hello. Peace for the people of Egypt. HM step down. Democracy must come.” Danny later posted a picture of what appeared to be his foot on a restaurant table.
     
     Meanwhile
     
     I have only touched on today’s news and the most important thing to keep in mind for me was the time zones. This link may be of use to aspiring journalists; it is primarily for British Journalists but covers the important topics; like paying attention to your audience or readers:

     http://www.bbc.co.uk/journalism/

     The debate about global warming appears to have been side tracked because a lot of people, including ‘experts’ thought it would actually be warmer; the truth is, the weather is just more unstable. It would appear to be getting worse and we can expect more severe weather in the future and future generations have a right to be worried.

     I thought the reference to Twitter in my news report was a nice touch. If you want to be taken seriously when you Tweet about human rights don’t go out with friends; drink wine and photograph your right foot and upload it to the net for half the world to see. I can’t think of one example of when I would photograph my foot and share the image with the world; but you never know.

     I did have a personal Tweet yesterday from a member of the former Russian aristocracy; she is a socialite, student and catwalk model. That was a nice thought on my birthday and I had birthday wishes emailed and posted on Facebook and LinkedIn.

     One good thing, our power doesn’t go off when it snows.

     Chinese New Year tomorrow…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 5, 2011

        Happy New Year!

        Reply
154. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 3, 2011

     No guest blog today. Last night I tried to fix a problem. Microsoft security essentials had an error. the computer crashed… Hours later… I found there was something unusual in an HP setup and I had to alter it to boot from a DVD. I managed to restore Windows 7 but it formatted the hard drive. My backup backs up at 10 in morning; at least that was what it was set for. It hasn’t been doing it, it was trying to do it at 10 in the evening. All my data and programs are lost. This is a major problem. I couldn’t even find this thread this morning. I have to install what I can now.

     To make matters worse, I’m sick. I had a cold already but appear to be having nasty allergic reactions. I have had this before, it may last 24 hours, but should go away.

     It will give you time to think what you want me to write about and read the blogs from the last two days.

     This is not good… 🙁

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 5, 2011

        Mike, get better please.
        We NEED you!!!

        Reply
155. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 4, 2011

     Friday, 04 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     A is for Art

     PICASSO AND GAUGUIN LEAD
     
     Over the next two weeks in London, the two big auctioneers are offering works worth around $650 million at impressionist and modern, surreal, and post-war and contemporary art sales.

     While New York is still the art market hub, London is not far behind and an increasingly international client base, plus the rise of internet bidding, means the February sales should give a fair picture of the state of the global art market.
     There is still time to join my Neodigital Art movement while the rush is on to buy impressionist art and old chairs…
     
     Farmville
     
     The competition was fierce, who would be the first to level 100 and who would get 1,000,000 XP first? The top players raced to be first and then we all went past level 100 and what happened? I have compared playing Farmville to running a business before and it applies now; we are super-rich and getting richer. We don’t want to buy a villa for 1,000,000 coins; we buy cows for 1,000,000 coins. We want adjoining mansions now! Yes, competition has died and we are now the elite group and we don’t give a sh**. Bill Gates has nothing on us; we can stop ploughing now and build and build. Who needs to grow anything when you are heading towards becoming a billionaire? My future blog will be the “First Farmville Billionaire” and that would be me…
     
     Blogging
     
     If anything interesting happens in my neighbourhood, not that anything ever does; I can be there to cover the story. I can take photographs; I can record on video. I’m almost tempted to start the fire myself! This is why journalists hate bloggers, we can get there first and we are competition. This particularly applies to specialist journalists like financial journalists with whom I compete. I have spent nearly a year researching an article to write and submit later this month; it’s a competitive world; so stop moaning and compete.

     My best day for my blog was my birthday, a lot of page views. The woman next door to me had a baby and so the new kid on the block shares his birthday with me. All my views today were as a result for people searching for something to do with Farmville; some people are searching for my ‘trick’ that gives millions of coins at Farmville. Yes, search engines; I have the Farmville Millions Dairy farming trick. You too could be a Farmville Billionaire and have a mansion for 3,000,000 and buy cows at 1,000,000 each; get some silo homes at 1,000,000 each too; they look so cool.
     
     Precognitions
     
     I was going to do some predictions based on precognitions for Chinese New year. I have now found all these precognitions affect me personally in some way and other people too. This raises a question of ethics. I can’t write about stuff that is personal and affects my friends. I have predicted a tsunami that has something to do with the San Andreas Fault. I predicted something to do with a new city and it seems they plan to build one in China. I think the news this year about that new city will have something to do with the infrastructure and the water supply in particular. I also predicted reunification of North and South Korea. I can predict some new stuff, a new fighter jet and aircraft carrier for China will be in the news; probably later in the year. The pound will rise against the dollar and China will buy into Eurobonds and British bonds instead of US bonds as interest rates rise on this side of the pond. I wish I could predict when the first interest rate rise will come. It will be .25% but when? I think April is the most likely, I shall watch and try to predict with interest!

     I’m not sure if writing this blog will continue every day, it depends upon demand. I am a little busy since my computer crash; I still have to find the thread to post this in! I couldn’t bookmark it yesterday. I fixed the bookmarking; but lots more to fix.

     My own Frugal Friday blog, which I prepared earlier is here: http://wp.me/P194MF-2D
     
     I’ll be back… whenever…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 5, 2011

        MIke, it’s about time we suggested the students on the Facebook group make a comment in answer to one of your comments. Maybe we can do a contest. Ask them which one of your comments they like best and why? What would we offer as a present . . . that doesn’t cost any money.
        🙂

        Reply
156. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 5, 2011

     Saturday, 05 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     How our past comes back to haunt us

     When I started writing this I was reminded why I dislike this time of year; apart from the bad weather and the cold viruses and the post Christmas financial blues. It was the date; 5th of February, I really dislike the 5th of February or February the 5th if you’re American. On my 14th birthday my mom had surgery and it was a major operation and in the days that followed I knew something was wrong and tried to see her. On the 5th of February she died; I was too bloody angry to grieve. Maybe, I will sleep better after today?

     Two of the students I mentor have had surgery recently and are recovering from their surgery. I mentor four students, one lives near me and so I can talk to him on the phone, using Windows Live or he comes to see me. The other student is a more mature student and lives not far away, somewhere in Staffordshire, north of here; she had surgery. She didn’t say what it was for but had difficulty driving to the university. They gave her extra time to finish her assignments. She is doing history as a major and humanities as a minor and does some work experience in schools; she wants to be a teacher.

     I spoke to one of my Chinese students on her birthday and that was using Windows live, we actually used the webcams so she could show me some eggs. That was her birthday treat, three eggs for breakfast. These were no ordinary eggs; the chickens have bluish black meat, black skin and fluffy white feathers. The other student in China I have known since she was in High school and helped with her homework. She sent me four emails the other day needing advice; she also had surgery. I was able to advise her after the surgery because she was in pain and I reassured her that her pain would last maybe overnight but would be better the next day. She said I was right the next day. She has another problem now, that I can’t write about; but it worries me. I hope she will email later, she has to do that with her phone. She is fine for the moment, but could be in danger from what she has told me. I have done my best to warn her to be cautious.

     This brings me on to journalist students and a prize for a competition involving the Facebook, Journ 65 group. I could mentor the winning student for a month if they have a computer and can use email and Windows Live. I help students with assignments, they do them; I read them and correct grammar and make suggestions. In some cases, I criticise; in extreme cases, I tell them to start again! I don’t swear much, but I probably did when one quoted Star Trek in his assignment. That is a suggestion anyway.

     I just looked at the tweets from the BBC journalism school, they tweet interesting stuff. They sent a tweet on this article about Tweet to speak:

     http://www.niemanlab.org/2011/02/this-week-in-review-egypts-media-lessons-the-dailys-detractors-and-apples-e-books-strike/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+NiemanJournalismLab+(Nieman+Journalism+Lab)&utm_content=Google+UK

     Twitter

     I was bored with the film last night, ‘Sleepless in Seattle’; I searched for some words in tweets using the MS gadget on my desktop. There was a lot of information on sport and some people appear to think that direct tweets are private. I got a tip on a rugby match being played today. It’s the 6 nations match Italy against Ireland; it seems Ireland may be better than people think and the money is going on Italy. I could make money from this which happens to be one of my favourite pastimes… I could write a movie script; ‘Dreamless in Disneyland.’

     Honesty

     I read an article written by a woman, I think it was the Huffington post about Pap tests for cervical cancer. It was dishonest and that makes me angry. How can you write an article about a sexually transmitted virus and its possible lethal consequences without mentioning sex? This is what she left out:
     
     There is little or no benefit to screening women who have not had sexual contact. HPV can be transmitted in sex between women, so women who have only had sex with other women should be screened, although they are at somewhat lower risk for cervical cancer.

     It is sexually a sexually transmitted virus and can be transmitted from woman to woman and obviously, men to women. Promiscuous behaviour increases risk as does sexual activity at an early age. This is a complicated subject, but an important subject and the UK leads the world in saving lives with the pap test. I think health education in schools and colleges could save more lives and journalists could write more honestly. If they have difficulty with their own morality and are promiscuous, it could affect their ability to write honestly.

     I came across another case of journalistic dishonesty. The report said model Katie Price was getting back together with ex-boyfriend Peter Andre, the report came complete with old pictures of the two together; it was a fabrication to sell newspapers.

     The European Commission was bashed by a journalist for introducing new directives to stop banks lending irresponsibly. The journalist interpreted that the banks would increase interest rates for high risk borrowers; get real! They have done that! The piece was full of rhetoric and had a sensational headline; it was garbage. It was dishonest and attacked a directive aimed at protecting the vulnerable and stupid from usury by banks and other financial institutions.

     I’m going to play Farmville…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 6, 2011

        Your idea for the contest prize has merit, but we need to fine-tune it a bit. Re: your Link, I posted that story in its entirety on the Facebook group. Thanks.

        Reply
157. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 6, 2011

     Sunday, 06 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Many moons ago

     Many moons ago; there was this Aussie farmer growing wheat and trying to make a crust; as you do, when he was invaded by a plague of rats. He could have called the pied piper but instead he called his mate Bruce and Bruce was right over.

     “No worries mate,” said Bruce, “I have more rat poison than you can throw a stick at.”

     They put the rat poison around the place and sure enough the next day there were dead rats everywhere and his silo of grain was safe once again. Time went by… The rats came back…

     What happened? The poison killed most of rats but some survived and evolved and became immune to the rat poison; they had little babies and the little babies were immune to rat poison. The little babies grew up and they and little babies and soon the famer and his mate Bruce had a new plague of rats; super rats immune to rat poison! We can conclude that immunity is passed down genetically from one generation to the next. The ability to evolve is at a price; millions of rats died from the poison; some suffered horribly but survived and acquired immunity. There was a price to pay.

     Meanwhile…

     Meanwhile, or maybe later; many miles away, a guy sits on a beach on a tropical island waiting for a coconut to drop in his lap. He gets a bit bored and ponders whether to go fishing. It sounds idyllic living on a tropical island and doing virtually nothing but there can be problems. The water can run out if it doesn’t rain and you have to drink that milky stuff in the coconuts! You can’t go to the market to buy anything; you catch fish, grow stuff and get your salt from the local salt mine!

     The local rumour is that there is a war and the island could be invaded; but everything is fine when the Yanks arrive with their ships, planes, bubblegum, nylons and over sexed sailors. Things are good for a while, no more going down the salt mine; it’s bad for the skin. The Yanks build an air strip and give all the hot island babes nylons. Then people started to get sick and the Yanks came to the rescue again; they flew in an expert to investigate. The salt the Yanks had was plain old sodium chloride and not rich in iodine like the salt from the salt mines. The islanders must go back to getting their own salt rather than having it free from the Yanks and lying on the beach all day. Now, iodine is known to be toxic, but also it can prevent cancer and so it is obviously good for the islanders; but would it be good for the Yanks?

     Many years later…

     Many years later in England, a doctor, Richard Mc Carness wrote a book called “The Stone Age Diet” in which he argued that the price we pay for evolving and becoming used to new foods was too high; people got sick, they died and he was a psychiatrist and so he was worried because he found that some people were going really nuts. It appears that some people even eat really weird foods, go nuts and then go into politics!

     What did people eat in the Stone Age? They didn’t eat tigers and lions, tigers and lions tended to eat them. We know they interbred with Neanderthals; hence the emergence of the dreamless ones… They didn’t eat elephants or mammoths either… I don’t think they sat on the beach waiting for coconuts to drop either. We also have to look at what they have eaten since the Stone Age to fully understand how we have evolved and the problems we may have if we eat ‘new’ foods or additives; like sodium chloride. Research has shown that sodium chloride is bad for us. I found that the research that showed that the lecithin in eggs prevented us absorbing cholesterol was interesting; now they would have eaten eggs in the Stone Age. They may not have been chicken eggs; they would climb a tree and take whatever eggs they could get. They do say that berries are very good for you; blackcurrants have six times more cancer preventing vitamin C than oranges.

     I think we can take a good guess at what out ancestors ate and what we are ‘used’ to by looking in the mirror and checking out our skin colour, eye colour, hair colour and so on. If you have an oriental appearance; your ancestors probably ate rice. If you look like you belong on a beach sitting under a coconut tree; maybe your ancestors ate citrus fruits and maybe even coconuts? If you have blue eyes, you could be of Nordic descent and so your ancestors may have eaten game and berries. I have whitish skin, brown hair, brown eyes and I’m typically Anglo- Saxon and so eggs, berries, game and European herbs and plants would have been eaten by my ancestors. I have an antibody against gluten, the protein in many grains; but those grains are farmed and that is relatively new. The production of milk is a relatively new thing too; especially on a large scale.

     There are a lot of questions that remain unanswered about our foods and which ones are truly super-foods that will keep us not only healthy but stop us going nuts. I think more research should be done and done with that quotation I mind; “one man’s meat is another man’s poison.”

     I was going to cook Chinese stir fry for dinner; I’m not so sure now…

     I like this blog; I’ll post it after editing on my own blog! 🙂

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 7, 2011

        THX, Mike to the Rescue. With my online social media for journalists class, something had to take a back seat . . . and sadly that has been my postings on this site. Thank Heavens I have you!!
        Hope you like your Lead In space on the blog: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/

        Reply
158. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 7, 2011

     Monday, 07 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Miserable Monday

     There isn’t much news this morning. The main news on a Sunday is, of course, political — and the main thing being talked about is the weather. The aftermath of the cyclone in Australia, snow in North America and we have weird gales and it’s relatively warm for February. We appear to have warm air coming up from the gulf.

     I still went out with my friend yesterday; the first stop was the ATM (cash machine). That was after my little accident. My friend wouldn’t leave his car on my drive; he was worried about hitting the wall reversing off. I was watching him move his car in my mirror before reversing off and what did I do? I hit the damn wall. The damage was only a slight scratch, I can fix that. I checked it outside the bank and it was just the paintwork.

     Then we went on to a supermarket because my friend wanted to buy something to eat. They closed at 4 and so I said we should go straight away, he also wanted to go and take photographs. I thought I was frugal, he can be downright miserly! He missed the cooked food he wanted because they were selling it off cheaply before they closed. I think he ended up with ice cream and blueberries in the end! I bought cornflakes and soy milk and they didn’t have bean sprouts for my stir fry and I ended up buying them in can.

     Then on to Hill Top, to take photographs, he has wanted to go there since he saw my photographs taken there. I went on a summer’s day. This was in a gale and it was a little difficult holding the camera still. I got a few good photographs; my friend decided it was too risky with his expensive new camera. I uploaded a photograph of my friend standing near the edge of the canal with a suitably funny caption to Facebook later. I also uploaded a couple of photographs of my stir fry to my page and to the Nothing Cooking at Niente page. I may write a blog later with the full recipe and hints on cooking stir fry. I don’t use spices but my youngest brother says he will bring me some five spices anyway!

     I liked the comment on Facebook about the Lovemoney article; I could definitely do better. We went in a supermarket called Morrison’s yesterday, some of the fruit was going off; but they did have a good selection and lots of freshly cooked food and the bread was being sold cheaply because the store was closing in an hour. There were bargains to be had. The own brands were quite good, but some are poor quality. Food prices generally have gone up by around 10% and I was quite shocked at the price of fresh salmon. It isn’t a price that worries most people because they buy it canned!

     The VAT increase had increased some prices and I had to explain to my friend that VAT was on processed food and not fresh. I must check the VAT rules they can be a little confusing; VAT is on cakes but not biscuits and odd anomalies like that. About a mile away from Morrison’s is the Asda supermarket which is part of Wal-Mart and they have more special offers. Think their prices may be more competitive too. They do a lot of buy two and save. They don’t have such a good selection of fruit and vegetables and the store is a little smaller. They have some clothes and a better selection of non-food items. The thing I like about Morrison’s is access and parking. When I went to Asda it was a nightmare and I told them so online in a survey. Tesco is also the world’s second largest chain after Wal-Mart and there is a Tesco store about 2 miles from Asda and so they are also in competition. They do some bargains, but a 4-mile round trip for a bargain? I wouldn’t waste my time unless the saving exceeded the petrol costs. There is also another Asda store around 5 miles away. I haven’t been to that one but it is a super-store and has a much better selection with a lot of non-food items. The drive there is down a new road and would only take ten minutes on a Sunday; with a north wind…

     Lidl is a German supermarket, built on the site of an old pub and that is maybe 1 ½ miles away from both Asda and Morrison’s. They advertise cheap fruit and vegetables and quality is supposed to be good; but pricing I am told is confusing. It may be easy to get to on a Sunday, but any other day when the roads are busy; I wouldn’t even consider that one. They set up in a fairly deprived area too and that can be risky to go to. I have to ask myself if I really want to shop in the same store as the crack heads. That is an area often frequented by the riot police too. I nearly forgot there is another Morrison’s about 3 miles from the one I went to and 3 miles from Asda. It has retail parks close by, one is massive and they sell everything and the other has a good market on a Sunday. I went there to buy my half price jet washer after a Saturday hospital appointment last summer. It was Saturday morning but I decided not to drive through the red light district; you never know. It would be just my luck to get lost, stop to ask for directions and get nicked by the cops for kerb crawling.

     My photographs of the canal are interesting on Facebook; it was quite spooky when I actually went by the water. The gale force winds made the water lap against the tow path under the bridge and that made an eerie sound. There was a stile on the tow path, which is weird because stiles are to stop animals and some boatmen still use horses. I admit it is rare but how would they get a horse past that stile? The dreamless ones have been at it again, they wouldn’t know about canals and narrow boats. My friend asked about the river Tame when I parked in Tame Street; it’s there somewhere, it feeds the canal. They keep diverting it and it takes an updated map to find it. I know where we can get to that river and take photographs but it’s where all the weird people and crack heads live; I think I’ll give that a miss…

     My own WordPress blog had 291 page views in January and it’s up to 185 after the first week of February; I said I would do better once the Chinese New Year started. My best day was my birthday; spooky… It gets better every month.

     Just as I finish the latest news comes in from Down Under:
     
     (Reuters) – Parrots, like humans, choose to use one side of their body more than the other, with more of them left handed — or, more precisely, left footed than anything else.

     I forgot about fine tuning my mentoring idea… I shall think about that one.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 7, 2011

        I’m trying to think of an idea for you to write for a Social Media Press Release that absolutely couldn’t be ignored. . . any suggestions/ideas?

        Reply
159. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 8, 2011

     Tuesday, 08 February 2011, Sierra Oscar
     
     (Reuters) – AOL Inc will buy Arianna Huffington’s influential website for $315 million, looking to the high-profile liberal pundit to rescue it from the dustbin of Internet history.

     The move, announced Monday, comes at a hefty premium. AOL is estimated to be paying 32 times earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization for The Huffington Post, said Benchmark Co analyst Clayton Moran.

     I am wondering if AOL has paid too much at 32 times earnings. It appears that they expect the Huffington Post to make around $10M profit but save AOL $20M making the ratio more like 10 times the earnings. AOL will have to spend around $30M restructuring though.

     The newspapers of the past like my local newspaper the Herald; had front page news and it was local; the Herald was very popular in its day, but soon suffered from competition from a bigger regional newspaper that eventually caused its demise. The larger newspaper kept on innovating and was one of the first in the world to use computers. The front page news was often a headline and then a paragraph and the story continued inside; innovation made better use of the front page. The online newspaper’s equivalent of a front page is the Home Page and the headlines are in newsletters that people subscribe to, on Facebook Fan pages and sent out as Tweets.
     What of the future of the Huffington Post that has pioneered the use of bloggers and unpaid writers? I just checked a Tweet from my local regional newspaper and they are getting in on the act too using video footage from someone ‘on the scene’ and uploading it to YouTube.

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5q88B4MPItY

     That video footage was of a woman in her seventies taking on robbers armed with sledge hammers trying to rob jewellers; the quality isn’t great but it informs, entertains and amuses. The Huffington is not the only online newspaper to use amateur writers, photographers and video. France 24 has its ‘Observers’ reporting from around the world and even reporting from unstable countries and war zones. No longer do they have to send war correspondents to dangerous situations they have an army of correspondents already there. Reuters, is truly international, experienced and reports with an International feel. The Huffington is very left of centre liberal and very American; can they grow and become truly international? I read the China Daily and they have adjusted to a changing world and publish in English to the world. In the UK the Guardian Online is a serious competitor and even the Wall Street journal online competes on some subjects. Competition is hot and AOL has taken a big risk. The Huffington must grow to survive and become international. It must appeal not just to the liberal minded but to all sections of society and become multi cultural.

     What would I advise the Huffington to do? They could ask me to write a weekly column! That would be popular, although it wouldn’t be free. They do need to mix some professional writing with the Web II input from student journalists and bloggers. I could do a satirical column with a European flavour every weekend and add a little European sophistication and style to the Huffington Post. I not only understand trends; I can set trends…

     Innovate or die; Huffington Post.

     Meanwhile

     I started ‘following’ Penguin books UK on Twitter and they started ‘following’ me. I have a feeling that it could be an automated process on their part. If they don’t actually read and action my Tweets; what is the point? They didn’t bother replying to my email, which got deleted when my laptop crashed. If they had a junior editor reading all the Tweets and watching for talent in blogs and keeping up with what is going on that would be innovative and they could survive the post Harry Potter publishing apocalypse they appears to be heading their way.

     That’s enough, research time (I’ll research my Farmville Billionaire blog).

     There could be a ‘social media press release’ hidden in today’s blog somewhere?
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
     1. 

        Mike Maynard

        February 8, 2011

        Social Media Press Release

        Tragedy hits the 30,000,000 strong Farmville community
        
        Reports are coming in that Farmvillers are horrified at the sudden death of Daisy the 1,000,000 coins belted cow; she died in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Cynics have described the furore over the death as ‘bull’. A minute of silence is planned later to day when this close knit community will stop their planters, tractors and harvesters and take a minute to remember that first cow to produce enough milk to make one Farmviller a millionaire.

        Reply
        1. 

           sharisax

           February 9, 2011

           TRAGEDY is right!!! Now, what can we do with this?

           Reply
160. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 9, 2011

     Wednesday, 09 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Wind ups…

     I think people from outside of England get confused about what a wind up is and so I will explain. It is like winding a clock; it is not wind as in gale force wind, we wind someone up tight!

     I once scanned a letterhead on a letter from my local council. The dreamless ones at the council spend their days coming up with dreamless ideas. I forged a letter to myself saying that people with spare bedrooms were now required to take in an immigrant and help them to settle into British society. I then showed people the letter and let them read it; this is a wind up! 🙂

     I also did a letter from the council about grants saying they would pay for my house to be re-wired. There was a rumour at the time that they were going to do this and so the letter sounded convincing. The second paragraph about the new kitchen was convincing; the final paragraph about the Jacuzzi and Olympic size swimming pool was less convincing. 🙂 That was a good wind up.

     Yesterday I went to level 120 at Farmville and then needed 100,000 XP to go to the next level. I think many of my ‘neighbours’ don’t have 100,000 XP yet and so in a message to all of them; I said, ‘read my blog and get past 1,000,000 XP.’ I followed that up 10 minutes later with another message showing I had gone to level 121! I had to spend 10,000,000 coins to get the 100,000 XP to do that. I sent another message and a link to my blog! This is winding them up; just a little. 🙂

     The assistant editor of Lovemoney.com writes about saving money and I do my Frugal Friday blogs and so do they! She is following me on Twitter, probably to steal my ideas. This week’s blog is frugal ideas beginning with B; like bargains, bartering, banking, bazaars; there is a long list. Lovemoney by a spooky coincidence started Lovefood around the same time as I got involved with Nothing Cooking at Niente and so I’m blogging on food now. They have a staff of 50, technical staff, video staff, photographers, journalists, celebrity chefs (sort of) and a board of directors that seems to be a waste of space.

     They also have expensive London offices and young, straight out of Cambridge, journalists. I have me and my laptop; I did consider an Android phone; it’s cheap on EBay. I have to decide quickly to get it for that price. I’ll pass I think. My latest wind ups in regard to Lovemoney was a blog about peer to peer lending that blows their advice on getting a decent interest rate out of the water. I made a video last night and uploaded it to the Nothing Cooking page on Facebook and it was added to the Nothing Cooking at Niente blog. Lovefood may have celebrities and dreamless ones; we have a video! I am writing an article on peer to peer lending and going a little more in depth than I did in my blog. I could offer it to Lovemoney, but they will probably try to get it for free; I could wind them up and offer it to Beatthatquote.com who Lovemoney regard as their nemesis! 🙂

     I just read this:
     
     “The Pernambuco police have a reputation for being corrupt and violent”
     
     Juliana De Albuquerque Katz is a student from Recife, the state capital of Pernambuco. She currently lives in Tel Aviv, where she is completing her master’s degree.

     
     “The Pernambuco police have a reputation for being corrupt and violent, nobody trusts them. Typically, the incidents of corruption are directed more towards wealthy or middle-class citizens, whereas more openly brutal incidents target mostly poorer citizens.

     I remember, when I lived in Recife, police mounted a sort of scam during carnival week. They would stop people in their cars and ask for their papers. Then they would confiscate the papers and invent a bogus reason to threaten to take away the car as well, unless the driver paid a bribe. Because it was carnival, no-one wanted to deal with going to the car pound, so most people paid bribes.

     State police are underpaid, and it is common knowledge that they’re in constant contact with criminal gangs. So it’s not that surprising that they use gang’s tactics to brutalize and humiliate their victims.”

     It was written by a Brazilian student, an ‘Observer’ for France 24 with help from a French journalist.

     The whole story can be read here:

     http://observers.france24.com/content/20110208-brazilian-police-force-detainees-french-kiss-camera-humiliation-human-rights?ns_campaign=nl_obs_en&ns_mchannel=email_marketing&ns_source=emv_09022011_obsen&ns_linkname=policiers-forcent-detenus-embrasser&ns_fee=0
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
161. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 10, 2011

     Thursday, 10 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     News from China

     I chatted online to one of my Chinese students yesterday, she has a new dog. She showed me the picture and asked me to guess which one was hers; I guessed. I always do and she always asks, “How did you know?” It was of course the puppy.

     I found out some useful things about Chinese cooking, apparently the way Chinese chefs cook on television here is quite different to how the Chinese actually cook. Many of the stir fry recipes here are based on the way they cook when they are camping out in the forest. She also showed me a photograph of her mother and grandmother; that was interesting. My student is only 21 years old and looks much younger and her mother looks like she is in her late 20’s rather than early 40’s. The secret of their youthful appearance is diet and I know the food they eat to stay looking young. The question is how can I use this knowledge to either make money or make my blogs go viral. I could write a blog about it for Valentines Day? I have other ideas for a Valentine’s Day blog, too.

     Farmville

     My Farmville fortune is up to nearly 200,000,000 but it is getting boring now. I want to spend it all! I was of course languishing in fourth place but went to third place. If I spent all my cash now I would go to first place and be back in the lead; but that could hot up the competition and besides I want to write a ‘Farmville Billionaire’ blog. I’ll keep saving! 🙂

     Blogging

     I want to send a blog viral of course and my series of Farmville blogs have the best chance, it has changed and players can now cross various seeds to produce new crops. It is quite mad, but it will give me something to write about. My Frugal Friday blog is finished but I have to edit it and make it a little more amusing. I want to add a photograph to that blog too.

     I would like to start a newsletter with a headline and short paragraph and hyperlink to my blogs. I will have to think about that, keeping an address book and not falling foul of server limits would be difficult. I could do groups of people and put everyone whose name begins with A in a group and send the email and then do B and so on; it is time consuming though. The other option is a service like Mail Chimp; but that is restricted to 1,000 subscribers. I think my blog is getting more popular and so I will keep analysing the stats to see what people read. I prefer to write the comedy blogs, but they can be difficult.

     Michael the Clone

     Michael started visiting lonely young ladies who had been admitted to hospital; his nursey friends tell him when a hot young babe is admitted. There is now a ban on visiting because of an outbreak of the norovirus and they don’t want it spreading. I thought about doing visiting too, that is a setback.

     Tweet the news

     Head of Wikileaks, Assange is in a UK court facing extradition. Anna Adams of the BBC is tweeting the court proceedings in bite size pieces.
     
     “For the media, there are even more fundamental practical issues. How do news organisations resource tweeting from court? In these straitened times, is it appropriate to send an extra journalist to court just to tweet, or is it reasonable to expect such a high profile job to be added to an already long list of tasks that many broadcast journalists already have?

     And how should cases be tweeted?

     As a steady stream of almost stenographic text, or as a (slightly) more considered two or three tweets an hour up sum?

     How can there be any of the traditional editorial oversight in such a rapid, real-time process – to ensure accuracy and balance?

     And what does this mean for how the media covers trials? Gavel-to-gavel coverage, even of big trials, is thing of the dim and distant past. But does the emergence of Twitter take us back to the days when if a news organisation starts tweeting a case it will find itself obliged to follow every spit and cough? Or will it be acceptable to extend the current practice of dipping in and out of reporting cases as long as an overall balance of the evidence is reported?
     While the introduction of Twitter doesn’t change the fundamental principles of court reporting, the highly-distilled and breathlessly rapid nature of the platform brings them into sharp relief – and gives the media pause for thought over how it should respond.

     The injection of a highly regulated kind of reporting into an essentially conversational, informal and opinionated space represents a significant challenge to the courts and the media.

     It is unthinkable that the twitterati will be able to restrain themselves from liberally commenting on proceedings as they retweet 140 carefully constructed characters from even the most highly trained court reporters. Where does that leave the Contempt of Court Act”

     The law appears to need more clarification; as usual…

     And Finally
     
     Last week, to mark the 45th World Day of Social Communications, the Vatican finally landed in the era of new media, and acknowledged the opportunities offered by social networks and content sharing sites. Ina speech released on the Holy See website, the Pope said:

     “The new technologies allow people to meet each other beyond the confines of space and of their own culture, creating in this way an entirely new world of potential friendships.This is a great opportunity, but it also requires greater attention to and awareness of possible risks”.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 13, 2011

        I published the Pope’s message on our Facebook group page 🙂

        Reply
162. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 11, 2011

     Thursday, 10 February 2011, Sierra Oscar>

     Rules for journalists, bloggers and other writers

     In the UK we have a minimum wage and this ensures that people earn at least a decent wage regardless of what they do. Some people would argue that people should be paid depending on ability and hard work; most people would agree with that to a certain extent. We often see people earning huge amounts of money for doing very little; however, and I personally wonder how they get away with it.

     One theory of economics is that economies are like pyramids with a few wealthy people at the top and a lot of poor people at the bottom. Money in the pyramid tends to flow laterally across the pyramid, but mostly flows up the pyramid from poor to rich; the poor get poorer and the rich get richer. I read one argument that the rich provide investment and nothing would work without their investment. New projects wouldn’t get funded without the rich and companies wouldn’t grow without the rich. Investment does come from the middle classes however who save for the times when they are sick and for their retirement. The poor would invest if they had a fairer society and more opportunities; some people argue. I personally argue for more regulation of the stock market to make it easier for the whole of society to invest.

     At the time of the Hong Kong bubble, people from all sections of society invested; that was why there was a bubble. People certainly want to invest but there must be safeguards and regulation. We can’t have a free market, free for all; where the rich do what they like and to hell with everyone else.

     Do you agree with these ideas? My viewpoint is fairly liberal because I am English and liberal views are becoming more popular. The unacceptable face of capitalism with it’s rich take all and damn the poor attitude is not acceptable. We now see many political truths, the liberal truth, the conservative or right wing truth and the left wing truth. The government of China has changed from communist to a more socialist viewpoint, embracing the best of socialism and capitalism. It appears to be an economic success; but they have a way to go on human rights. For the journalist, blogger or any other kind of writer recognising the truth can be difficult.

     If you only read right wing newspapers and visit their websites; then your beliefs are likely to have a right wing bias. The same applies to having a left wing bias. Many writers protect themselves by reading from a diverse source of information. I read the Wall street journal online, the China Daily, Huffington Post, France 24, the BBC, Reuters and many more. I hope I achieve a balance and stay liberal minded.

     It is important when you are reading to recognise journalistic bias and untruths. The bias should show on all websites; even liberal ones like the Huffington Post. The BBC prides itself on being unbiased but it isn’t; it suppressed the views of the people who spoke out about beliefs about global warming. They also gave more importance to the pro-global warming people in that debate. The effect was to discredit the science and the pro-theory people came out with predictions that were simply wrong. That predicted Britain would be warmer and we could grow grapes! We have unstable weather and it was the coldest December on record; that was the result of journalistic bias and forgetting that truth is to always be sought.

     Journalists and writers are also publically accountable and can be sued. The truth therefore is important in that respect. We can criticise, I do it all the time and even be sarcastic; but not tell downright lies. Many journalists jump on a popular band wagon and pick on a minority, people on welfare or an ethnic minority and then there is the other form of bias when they feign sympathy for a particular minority; that can be even more offensive.

     Web II is already beginning to change how all writers deal with the truth, bend the truth or downright lie and your readers will comment. I see writers now have their professionalism questioned for a mere mistake in an online article or blog. People can’t comment back on newspaper articles and reports but they can online and often tear the journalist apart! The big mistake is to try to defend serious mistakes; it is better to admit them and retract the offending material. Sensationalist headlines I have also seen criticised on websites by readers and of course it is your readers that matter. Writers, bloggers and journalists of all persuasions should always keep the audience or their readers in mind; always.

     Serious stuff today…

     I’m posting my Frugal Friday blog later; after lunch. The Farmville Millions update over the weekend; then a special blog for Valentines Day. My Valentines day blog amongst other things will identify the ingredient in the delicacy used in China to prevent aging, prolong life and it does other things! I may call my blog “Keep young and beautiful” and think this stuff could be popular. A super-food that slows aging, helps you sleep, relieves stress, is good for the heart and appears to prevent cancer. Is it too good to be true? Scientists appear to be convinced.

     I’ll be back

     Reply
163. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 12, 2011

     Saturday, 12 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Repairing the wrinkles?

     Scientists took some young cells, the sort you would find on a babies bottom and cultured them in vitro and as expected they reproduced. They reproduced until that had filled the container and they reproduced in nice neat lines. The scientists then tried it with old cells the sort you get from someone old and wrinkly. The cells were damaged but still reproduced and reproduced damaged cells and didn’t reproduce in nice neat lines like the young cells. They cultured these cells in a nutrient rich environment; but then repeated the experiment with the addition of a new nutrient. The old cells, reproduced in neater lines and they repaired themselves! Spooky! Could this nutrient repair the wrinkles and make us all look younger? What super-foods is this nutrient found in? Are there other nutrients that have the same effect? Have there been other studies into this nutrient and its anti-ageing effects? Does it extend life expectancy too? Does it have any health benefits like preventing nasty diseases like cancer?

     The answer to all these questions will be in my special Valentines Day blog that I am still researching. 🙂

     Vegan?

     I looked at a website of a doctor this morning who claims to be vegan and have a cure for diabetes. Yeah, sure… I’m going to take advice from someone with more wrinkles than me; not.

     Farmville

     I posted my Farmville update blog yesterday and it still hasn’t gone viral. I am getting support from two of my Farmville friends; one has disowned me! I am now up to 230,000,000 coins and so on my way to being a Farmville Billionaire. I spent about 130,000,000 on cows though and the mansion alone was 5,000,000 and then the silo homes at 1,000,000 each; they look good though; I have three! When I spend my 1,000,000,000 coins that will put me back in the lead and add 10,000,000 XP to my score. That will blow everyone out of the water; the highest score so far is just over 5,000,000 XP. I’m on 3,600,000 XP. I’m running late today because the harvesting I usually do after lunch I did this morning. I am going to do something awesome to my farm and then take a screenshot and may even enter the competition for best farm picture. I could buy a lot of mansions and make them look like a huge mansion? I could put cottages next to a few mansions and have a house right across my farm! This will take some planning. I want to grow white and red roses so I have an England flag growing on my farm! 🙂
     
     Michael the clone
     
     Michael isn’t happy, he has been banned from the wards because of that virus; but there is a doctors and nurses party tonight. He likes playing doctors and nurses; that is weird, we are so much alike. I played doctors and nurses with the girl next door when I was young too. She was the doctor of course. It may seem strange having a doctors and nurses party in the basement of a hospital and not inviting any doctors; but apparently it’s more fun is the clones play the part of the doctors and the hot young nurses play the part of the nurses. It sounds like fun; I wouldn’t mind going to one of those parties. Michael said he’s going as a gynaecologist tonight; we are so much alike…
     
     From the Guardian
     
     Imagine sitting down, today, to plan and build a new news organisation for the 21st century. What would be its founding principles? How would it fund its journalism? And how would it fully exploit and integrate itself with technology that will determine how it is distributed, how it communicates and it relates to and empowers its readers?
     There have been armies of news sites born of the web but, as even the most recent acquisition deal – of the Huffington Post by AOL – shows, the primary motive is to create businesses, rather than a journalistic organisation serving the public and holding power to account. The volume of news available to us now might make this seem a healthy period for journalism, but that’s not quite true. From oligarchs and tycoons to content farms of low-quality derivative blogging – search engine-optimised to the point of incomprehension – the struggle to get noticed and to turn attention into profit invariably takes priority over service, or quality.

     It seems the Guardian (a liberal British newspaper) is organising a conference in Austin, Texas this weekend to promote the use of quality journalism as opposed to derivative blogging. I have read the Guardian, they do a lot of derivative articles; getting their content from the Press Association and Reuters. They fill their colour supplements at the weekend with opinion as opposed to actual information too. I do like the Guardian though, I bought it on Saturday when I was in hospital and it was Sunday by the time I had read it and by the time I had read all the colour supplements it was Saturday again!

     The grammar is horrible in that quote from the Guardian though.

     It is now 12:23 GMT, 20:23 in China and 04:23 PST; cool, I have three clocks on my taskbar now… It’s time for lunch…
     
     I’ll be back…
     

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 13, 2011

        You’re AMAZING!
        I) I loved the fun in the Clone part
        and
        2) I’m using your “Imagine sitting down .. . ” part in next week’s assignment for the students. I’ll let you know after I figure out what exactly to do with it.
        🙂

        Reply
164. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 13, 2011

     Sunday, 13 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Blogging

     I’m not sure what to write this morning. I don’t feel well — as if I went to the clone party and over indulged in Coca Cola or something.

     I’ve joined Networked Blogs on Facebook and that may help make my blogs more popular. I get more people reading them every month. I have nearly as many page views this month as last month and we’re only half way through.

     I have also discovered a concept called Pay-per-Post; where bloggers get paid to post blogs on a particular subject. I wonder if HP would give me a new laptop if I blog about HP products. I could send them this one then and they can stop it over-heating and fix the noisy fan. They could also configure it to work with my HP all in one printer. That is another job I have to do.

     I just had a message it appears that Microsoft have figured out a driver is missing and I click to download it. That is for my digital TV tuner; I hope it works properly if I download that; I can record TV then. There is so much crap on and if there is something decent on; all the other channels put something good on at the same time. I should be able to watch one channel and record another. The time shift doesn’t work either. I do have three clocks on my task bar now though; its 11:10 GMT, 19:10 in China and 03:10 PST. I had an email from China and my student still hasn’t really resolved her problems; but it seems she isn’t in any imminent danger. I’ll reply later.

     My special Valentines Day blog about super-foods was going well; but I then realised that some information on a website had been exaggerated and wasn’t as scientific as I first thought. I would like to write that blog with a humorous angle to it. I don’t feel in a very funny mood; hopefully lunch will make me feel better. That is the problem with doing research; if one source appears too good to be true; it probably is.

     Someone searched for something to do with blind people having more sensitive hearing and found my blog; now that is search engine optimisation! I am getting most people who search for Farmville though; I may have to add more Farmville related tags.

     Decimalisation

     At last I have thought of something to write about! It will be 40 years this week since Britain converted it’s currency to decimal. I remember that, it had an influence on one of my early business enterprises! On February the 14th, we had 240 pennies to a pound and the next day we have 100 new pennies to a pound. The change was sort of gradual. The old shilling was now interchangeable with the new five pence piece. I remember one story of a kid wanting 12 penny sweets for his shilling and he complained because he only got ten; in actual fact a shilling was now only five pence so he could have done worse. People still occasionally say, “What’s that in old money?”

     I still get confused about temperatures and I know 10C is 50F but above that is confusing. We had weird coins when I was young like the florin, half a crown and a shilling was also called a bob; there were brass three penny bits and sixpences. I still have some. I even have some coins in real silver. I have some coins in real gold! My gold sovereigns are doing quite well and are a good investment. The sovereign was originally a pound; they are worth over 200 pounds now. I also have some farthings, these were a ¼ of an old penny and so there were 960 to a pound. With twelve pennies to a shilling and twenty shilling to a pound and lots of other imperial measurements, life was confusing and made more confusing by the Oxbridge educated masters at my school. They took a perverse pleasure in making questions a confusing as possible.

     I see that sort of thing now with acronyms used to confuse and financial terms are confusing to most people. Hawks want higher interest rates, doves want lower rates, bulls buy shares and bears sell shares. I really hate HR. The archaeologists are complaining that they have to rebury human remains after 4 years now because of a change in the law and don’t have time to study them. This is important; I want to know what the Stone Age people ate.

     I think that last paragraph saved this blog from being boring. I can go back to Farmville and then cook lunch; do the laundry and I have ironing to look forward to. It’s going to be a fun packed day.

     Microsoft screwed up; the driver is on a different site to the one they aid it was on and the site is in Chinese; been there before I have to register; in Chinese… I’ll get help from a Chinese student! Brainwave…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
165. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 14, 2011

     Monday, 14 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Valentines Day

     I wrote my “Keep young and beautiful blog” in which I revealed the secret of a Chinese super-food for slowing the aging process and the science behind it. It was the science bit that I had problems with because one website bent the truth a little too much. You can read that blog here: http://wp.me/P194MF-3k

     Super-foods

     I have researched super-foods for a while and they appear to be the ones that were popular with our ancestors, like small animals and birds and berries. I think anything you can go and pick yourself in the woods is likely to be a super-food. The mushrooms and other fungi are protein rich; although some are poisonous. The berries tend to be rich in anti-oxidants and the small birds like doves, pigeon and chickens rich in a dipeptide that slows ageing and also tryptophan which is good for stress and depression. Eggs would have also been eaten by our ancestors and they are rich in vitamin D and tryptophan and many other essential nutrients. I would eat more turkey eggs if I could get them and I used to eat chicken livers, they are not only nice; they are a useful food and rich in vitamins and iron.

     Our ancestors knew that it is easier to kill a chicken than a cow and so ate more poultry than beef. I am often told to eat steak but the scientific evidence seems to suggest that red meat is bad for us and poultry and game meats are good for us. I also have an idea that foods that contain malic acid as opposed to citric acid are good for us; they include apples (that keep the doctor away), peaches and the hospital visitors favourite; grapes.

     Facebook
     
     WEST CHESTER, Pennsylvania — A teenager faces 11 to 22 years in prison after agreeing to a plea agreement on charges he used Facebook to try to hire a hit man to kill a woman who had accused him of rape.
     Nineteen-year-old Corey Christian Adams, of Westchester, Pennsylvania, accepted the plea agreement Friday on charges of rape, criminal solicitation of murder and other counts.

     I didn’t even know there was a hire-a-hitman app; why don’t people tell me these things?

     Michael the Clone

     Michael is giving blood today so they can harvest his antibodies. He is immune to porcine influenza (swine flu), avian influenza (bird flu), seasonal influenza (winter flu), equine influenza (I didn’t know horses got flu), bovine influenza (cow flu) and Eskimo influenza (well they would catch flu, wouldn’t they). Then after they have harvested his antibodies they can culture them and make loads of influenza vaccine for doctors and hot young nurses to stop them getting flu.

     They will give him injections all week and make him immune to even more strains of influenza. He is getting paid now and he has no fear of needles; just like me! I wonder how much they would pay me to have a few of those jabs.

     Michael has found out about Facebook and wants to join. I can imagine him with 5,000 hot young nurses as friends and photographs of “me and my IV”. He asked me what Farmville was…

     Frugal ideas

     I have an idea for a frugal blog and want to take a photograph to start it off. This frugal idea involves buying a nice glass container from a junk shop, washing it and then filling it with chocolates as a frugal Valentines Day gift. I have got the glass container and washed it, and have chocolates and so just need to put chocolates in container and take a load of photographs and then upload to my computer and pick a good picture. I can use it in a frugal blog and also upload it to the Nothing Cooking page on Facebook.

     I can do more frugal stuff in a couple of months, like recycling plastic food trays and growing things like herbs in them. I need a new cover for my little greenhouse, I found one on the internet but it was out of stock. I also have a need for seed! I want to grow runner beans, herbs and salad things this summer and have to start early; maybe in April. I could take photographs of things growing…

     Farmville

     I have to do another Farmville Millions update for beginners; they can’t use my trick until they get to level 75 and so I need to tell them how to get to level 75. I have found that one of my earlier little tricks that Zynga put a stop to is back and so I can use that. My millions are now up to 260,000,000; still a way to go before I become a “Farmville Billionaire”. I will make it though and may spend a few million later on one or two belted cows…

     I have a harvest to do…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
166. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 15, 2011

     Tuesday, 15 February 2011. Sierra Oscar

     History

     It’s not enough for journalists, writers and bloggers to know about writing they also have to know about other things like communication and history. Its 40 years today since decimal currency was introduced into the UK and new pennies were introduced. Before that if you went into a shop and saw a ticket on something that said 3/4d that was three and four; three shillings and four pence. It was the price in pre-decimal money. That leads me nicely into a story about communication and the unreliability of verbal communication. This is an old story often used in the past.

     An officer in the trenches when he decides to send a message back to command by passing the message along the trench from man to man until it reached the command post. The message was, “Send reinforcements we are going to advance!” when it got to the command post it had changed a little and the message was, “Send three and four pence we’re going to a dance!”

     Messages can get changed when passed from person to person and then the second person can, in this modern age of communication, relay a false message to millions of people.

     Geography

     The modern journalist also needs to know some geography! A recent incident at my local police station meant they sealed off roads to the police station and that caused traffic chaos. A local journalist got to the scene presumably by using back roads.

     Accuracy

     He would however be prevented from going to the police station because an unexploded bomb was reported. I saw the photograph of the bomb squad in action. How did they get the photograph; I could have taken that with my camera with full zoom on. They would also have been very near the fire station and who would have known what was going on? The duty fire officer! Knowing the locality and the people got him the story and after the alert he interviewed the police inspector in charge; at the scene.

     He wasn’t the only person to report the ‘news’. The police website quoted senior officer miles away at headquarters. The local inspector said it was a World War II bomb; the senior officer on the website said it was a ground to air missile! The former was more believable considering it came from a house clearance in Leicester. What did the journalists of the BBC say? By some strange coincidence the same as the police website; they don’t just do derivative news like us bloggers of course! The BBC news was picked up by radio stations and tweeted around and more false news went out than the correct story. The BBC didn’t identify its source of course, just quoted the inspector from the police website. I could have covered that story if my brother had texted me when he got caught up in the traffic chaos. I posted links on the journalism 65 Facebook page to the various stories that came out of that incident and the police website.

     Meanwhile

     I made some predictions based on precognitions and some Chinese astrology; both said life would be more rewarding after the beginning of the Chinese New Year that started on the 3rd of February. I have been writing more and I have had quite a lot of financial news that may mean I make money. The latest was my investment in a movie company looks good; they are making another movie this summer.

     I have some other predictions that I may write about eventually. I think when they involve other people; they can be too private to write about. I shall concentrate on finances and blogging for a while. I have an article to write on peer to peer lending because it’s a year today since I invested in that and have a 7% interest return and a total return including an introduction fee of over 15% and so I can write a reasonable article about that. I’ll also invest more in it this year.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 25, 2011

        Hey, Mike, thanks so much for helping me educate all the enthusiastic students in my Social Media for Journalists online course. We appreciate the reporting 🙂

        Reply
167. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 16, 2011

     Wednesday, 16 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Journalism 65

     I considered posting on the Journalism 65 Facebook page this morning and then thought I would let the students figure things out for themselves. I realised that their assignment is very public. It is like a lot of journalists going after the same story. The last one to press can read what all the others have written but will struggle to write something original. I think maybe the students who comment early on Facebook will be the most original.

     I had the same problem of originality with my Chinese students when I suggested ideas that they both used. I’m pleased to say I have had an email from the student I was worried about and for the time being, things appear to be alright and they return to university soon. She always seems to have more problems during vacations!

     Writing

     I sent a Tweet about peer to peer lending and Zopa sent me a Tweet and I didn’t get it. I got it on a Google alert instead. I have only received one direct tweet and the others are ‘mentions’. I’m not sure of the difference. I wrote an article on Zopa and peer to peer lending yesterday; it stinks. It is very informative but just facts and it is badly written and doesn’t flow like the way I usually write. I must do better! I’ll try again later. I also read an extract from a novel this morning; it was badly written, which was a shame because the ideas were good. This is from a synopsis of the novel:

     Beneath his awkwardly corny screen persona, Frank is haunted by disappearances: the mysterious hit and run that killed his predecessor Phil Smethway; the demolition of his father’s post-war brutalist architecture; and the unmarked passing of those who die alone in the city.

     The descriptions I find horrible, awkwardly corny screen persona? What the hell is brutalist architecture? She mentions Newman Row in the extract and the novel is based in Birmingham, England. She is obviously familiar as I am with Colmore Row and Newhall Street; I also suspect she has been in Richmond House and that inspired the brutalist building. That building wasn’t that bad before it caught fire. I’m trying to remember what was in there, well apart from our wages department. I think the Home Office had an office and people paid stamp duty on property deal and things. She described it quite well, mentioning the two elevators that acted like chimneys when the place caught fire; she didn’t seem to know about the fire.

     Meanwhile

     I have painters working on the outside of my house; it’s distracting. I thought they were going to paint the door; they were just preparing the frame. The door is being replaced. I want to go shopping tomorrow, but should be able to leave them to it, unless they come to replace the door!

     I am dreaming again; I am not dreamless, I wish I wasn’t though, they aren’t pleasant dreams. A comment on Facebook was by a friend who is worried because his mom has been sick; he commented he missed his dad. I didn’t comment but thought about mentioning I spoke to his dad on that last day before he died. I keep dreaming about people who have died; I hope this isn’t a precognition!

     I’m listening to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata to see if that helps me write. I have to rip some more music from CD’s to listen to; I was lucky in that I found some music on an SD card. I lost all my music on my laptop when it crashed.

     I can save my clone story for tomorrow; I usually do news on a Wednesday. I didn’t find the news very interesting; mostly protests and the military in Egypt asking people to go back to work. The news from Russia is that 1/3 of Russians believe the earth is the centre of the universe and the sun goes around the earth. They would get the same result to a survey in most countries, except maybe the USA where half the people think they are at the centre of their universe. One of my many doctors was once asked on television if he thought there was intelligent life on other planets; he said he wasn’t sure if there was intelligent life on this one. He is dead too, I know a lot of dead people. The doctors say do this and you’ll live longer and they are right; I’ve lived longer than them! That doctor used to smoke high tar cigarettes and start his day with a large scotch; it killed the germs, but got him too. I think my writing just improved; I changed the music to Mozart and the painters have gone; they work quickly. I got paint on my hand, I didn’t notice they had painted three doors; they missed a pipe, I’ll mention it tomorrow.

     Many years ago, we would read a newspaper and the next day they would be wrapping fish and chips in it. This gave rise to the saying, news today; chip paper tomorrow. This does not apply to the internet where the ‘news’ gets dissected and analysed. Social media also gives us leverage to hit back at irresponsible journalists and newspapers.

     The Daily Mail published a few stories that discriminated against disabled people and contravened our Disability Discrimination Act and therefore our Human Rights Act. No legal action was taken because they were siding with the government and establishment; but a liberal website researched the truth and I posted a link on Facebook page for the disabled calling for a boycott of the Daily Mail. The idea of a boycott won’t work unfortunately because none of them appear to be moronic enough to read the Daily Mail. It was chip paper yesterday, chip paper today and will only be fit for wrapping chips in, tomorrow.

     Mozart’s concerto No 21, I can listen to this for ever; unlike Britney Spears or Lady Gaga.

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
     1. 

        sharisax

        February 25, 2011

        Mike, I posted a paragraph of this comment on the Journ 65 Facebook group.
        🙂 Let’s see who comments 🙂

        Reply
168. 

     Mike Maynard

     February 17, 2011

     Thursday, 17 February 2011, Sierra Oscar

     Journalism 65

     Hi, my name is Mike and I joined this class so I could learn about journalism and social networking and hopefully do my best to bring about world peace. I also joined because my clone Michael wanted me to. Michael spotted this online course while logging in for his online gynaecology course and asked me if there would be any hot babes on it. We agreed to both give it a go and we think it’s fantastic; Michael has joined Facebook and is making new friends. He is particularly impressed with Tiana, a hot babe who lives in a beach house in Hawaii and has invited him to stay with her for a vacation. He says she is very poor and only has one bed but he doesn’t mind sharing; she can’t even afford pyjamas, apparently. Michael is now learning about Twitter and will join that; any time now. Michael now spends all day having flu vaccines injected into him by hot young nurses and playing Farmville against all his new social media friends.

     There was an incident earlier this week with a new and very young student nurse; but I blame the nurse in charge, she should never have asked her to give Michael a shower. Her hormones raging and Michael still going through puberty; it was asking for trouble.

     We are following events in Iran with interest where Kentucky fried chicken supporters have taken to the streets to protest against the fundamentalist Islamic leadership. Michael has also become very involved in the Rights for Clones movement which he is hoping to become a leader of and take it international. There are more clones tucked away in the basements of hospitals than you may realise.

     Meanwhile, David Cameron, leader of the dreamless ones in the UK has announced he aims to save 18 billion pounds by ending the ‘sick note culture’; Michael said something like a “What a moron,” we are so much alike… many sick people are on ESA (Employment support allowance); many of these are in hospital and some suffer from cancer; but does that stop them from working? Michael said he doesn’t think they should work; after all he lives in a hospital and makes a few quid getting involved in experiments; but as he says not everyone is as lucky as him. ESA was introduced by the previous government to save money and it added around ½ billion in dreamless bureaucratic costs; these new plans could cost even more money. In the USA they are planning on copying this welfare reform; we predict that will be an expensive exercise… It will however speed up the process of making China the wealthiest nation on Earth.

     On a lighter note,

     I am following the Pound land Parrot on Twitter who will inform me of bargains; I’m planning to go to Pound land where everything costs a pound this afternoon. I want vinegar (2 for a £1) and some aluminium foil trays (£1). I might buy some barbecue tools like tongs too (£1 each). I’ll look at the seeds but they are mixed; I don’t really want to grow peas; I want runner beans, salad, tomatoes and herbs. I just checked my Tweets; they have super noodles 3 for £1! My friend in Holland is sick; that is the socialite; model one, not the Farmville playing friend.

     Michael wants an introduction to some of my friends, especially the one who knows a real princess; he has a thing about meeting a princess now. I blame the nurses for reading him bedtime stories; he’s too old for those fairy tales now. I wonder if he likes super noodles. I think I’ll get him a sketch pad and some felt tip pens that will keep him quiet for a while. They have Easter eggs for £1, I could get one while they are cheep…

     I’ll be back…

     Reply
169. 

     Mike Maynard

     April 9, 2011

     Sierra Oscar it is I.

     Social media – Cascading the Portals – http://wp.me/p194MF-7Z

     You can’t make this stuff up…

     Reply