58 responses to “Say NO to credit cards . . . and YES to getting rich and famous”

1. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 5, 2010

   It’s Sunday morning in England and the weather doesn’t look great. There are dark clouds in the West! I’ve played Farmville and made the farm even bigger. You can tell a lot about your friends by the way they play Farmville. Many people like very interesting and pretty farms. Some are very artistic. I try to be more and more creative but my farm is very practical and the biggest I can get now. The virtual money is FV cash and FV coins. I needed both this morning. I spent a little cash speeding things up and 2,000,000 coins making the farm bigger. That is simply reinvesting what I had. I can upgrade and have a bigger winery for 400,000 coins but that can wait I have a good stock of wine to sell.

   I have had some criticism this week and some praise; more of the latter than the former. It is strange that no matter how much people approve of what you do it’s the criticism that worries you and that is quite illogical. I think one of my critics is even regretting it. I would usually make sure they regretted it! I am much more forgiving now! I shall carry on regardless of course. It was suggested I give up writing comedy and write a murder mystery. My comedy is new and I can think of lots of murder mysteries, they have been done to ‘death’. My friend writes murder mysteries and I help with her story lines. I still inject risqué humour. I named two detectives in a storyline Benson and Hedges (it’s a brand of cigarettes) and it was funny and the names memorable.

   In the novel I am writing jointly I named the main character Christian Caitlin. I know Caitlin is a girls name popular in America, that helped to make it funnier. His mother made the mistake of saying her first name when she was registering his birth and and was asked what her name was! His father ran out on him when he was only 2 years old and he found out that his father was also the father of his ex-girlfriend which made things complicated. His ex was also his half sister! to complicate things even further his father turned out to be Charlie Crapper; imagine if he had his father’s surname on his birth certificate?

   Christian has post traumatic stress disorder after fighting in foreign parts as a mercenary soldier. He jokes whenever he is nervous or afraid and so that makes for a very funny novel. he is also very charismatic because of his problem that makes him popular with women, even Lily White the lady vicar. Because his name is Chris and he is very charismatic, his army mates nicknamed him Chrisma! That we have decided will be the title of the novel if we ever publish it. Chrism is also a sort of Holy Oil, a little bit like Holy Water and Christian takes water from a well in a church yard and people think it’s holy water. One kid even thinks he might be an angel…

   I’m going to cook lunch soon, I forgot to buy eggs on Friday. So no breakfast this morning! I may go and buy some this afternoon. I have a choice of two supermarkets. One has awful parking and the other is very big and unfamiliar. I will probably spend half an hour getting a trolley if I go there. I think I have to put a coin in a slot or something; taking photos on a Sunday afternoon would be much simpler.

   That’s my blog in a blog for this Sunday. My friend in China just signed in to Windows Live, social networking hardly ever stops. It’s 7.45pm in China and Sunday evening, she is on early. I shall be back…

   Reply
   1. 

      sharisax

      September 5, 2010

      Here are the lines I love most in your newest blog-within-blog that I will also add to the First Post: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/08/how-to-become-rich-famous-on-the-web/ in order to reach my 500 . . . before setting the next objectives:
      * You can tell a lot about your friends by the way they play Farmville
      * No matter how much people approve of what you do it’s the criticism that worries you
      * I shall carry on regardless of course.
      * He is also very charismatic because of his problem that makes him popular with women
      * I think I have to put a coin in a slot or something; taking photos on a Sunday afternoon would be much simpler.
      * I shall be back

      . . . for the details, read above
      🙂

      “The Devil is in the Details”

      Reply
2. 

   Shari Weiss

   September 6, 2010

   Mike is my most prolific commenter and will reap the rewards with this blog-within-a-blog. Since I don’t want anyone to miss his ingenuity, I’m reposting his comments on “his” blog.
   ENJOY!

   Reply
3. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/09/06 at 2:12 am
   August 22, 2010 at 4:12 pm (Edit)
   I’m not sure what the question is. When I was too sick to drive I found a cab company and actually talked to the owner. he told me had a virtual monopoly where Iive but although he owned a lot of companies; one in particular used easy to recognise cabs and had a toll free number.

   When I phoned I would always say my name where I was and where I wanted to go and I always got the same reply. We’ll be there in 5 minutes and they were! It was actually cheaper than running a car. I prefer my car because I can carry things around with me and like driving, but taking cabs for a year or two wasn’t too bad. The main thing is to trust the drivers. I learned after taking a cab with a nut at the wheel! he took me to a city miles away and then brought me back and I arrived home at midnight!

   Reply
4. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/09/06 at 2:13 am
   It’s appears to be going well, I don’t know if you will become rich and famous. You may have to settle for being infamous like me! I put my user name into Google and the number of references has fell from 10,000 to around 7,000 so I need to do something. We have a lottery draw in the UK this evening, it could help if I won that!

   I must remember to go online tomorrow and renew my tickets. I just checked my Google count is down to 6,700! It serves me right for changing from using my user name Mike10613 to using my real name. I thought it was safer to copyright my novel in my real name. People will steal my jokes but I don’t want them stealing the whole thing.

   I’ve gained a few grey hairs and nearly died writing a 190,000 word novel and then re-writing it to cut it to 130,000 words and I still have more editing to do. It’s mainly moving commas, one in each chapter now. I’ll edit again this afternoon, I was going to a meeting to help another writer; then I thought; “Why do I always arrange everything?”

   I think the point here is anyone can now have there 15 minutes of fame as described by Andy Warhol. You just need to do something. Webspace is relatively cheap; learning how to use it isn’t so easy. I have to learn how to put WordPress on a website. I want my next site to be interactive. I’m doing a friends site now — http://www.jakewest.co.uk — to publicize his novel that will be out in hardback soon. I’m not sure what else to put on the site and we have used 12 Mb of space out of a 1,000 Mb so far!

   I hope your blog is an inspiration to others, Shari,; I’ll put a link to it on my website with some blurb to drive people here. Most of my visitors are in the UK; but I get a 1,000 a month.

   Reply
5. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/08/27 at 9:42 am
   You really need to sort out that hard drive Shari. Computer problems are a nuisance. I have my hard drive backed up, but there is a couple of errors. A program I installed was the wrong one. It was for digital TV and i wanted terrestrial and the program is for satellite. the other change is a back up of Windows. It only allows me to make one back up and then keeps asking me if I want to do it again! I know if I try it will try to stop me! I can restore my back up and those changes will be deleted. The problem is a lot of other changes will be deleted like email addresses that I have spent hours entering manually. The update to my website that took an hour! Please visit my very English site http://www.Mike10613.TalkTalk.net . I still have two pages to update and some fine tuning to do. I also updated the site for Jake West: The Keeper of the Stones. I have some buttons for that I need to make a back up of too. I shall have to do that manually. I must of course back up my novel! If I forget that, it would be a disaster! I do all that and then I can get back to just doing an automatic backup at 10 every morning!

   The sun is shining, I don’t want to work, I want to go taking photographs! I feel an afternoon off coming on! I need more photographs, I have fans now for my art!

   You need to back up all those videos Shari. I can just drag and drop folders or files to my 1 Tb external Hard drive. It’s a Seagate and cost around $100. I did get a $5 discount and free delivery. If you want to be rich, be frugal. I’ll get 38% of chicken today by buying 3 packs instead of one! I should write a book – “The frugal way to riches”; I was broke when I was sick. I started with nothing after that and have most of it left!

   I’ll drop in again and see how you are doing. In the meantime transfer those videos to a external hard drive or delete the ones you won’t use. Desktop internal drives are really cheap and so you could have a bigger drive and remember to use the slave drive of course.

   Reply
6. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/08/28 at 5:17 pm
   Hi Shari,

   It knows who I am, it must be using cookies. We have a service in England called Ring and Ride for the disabled and disabled elderly people. As the name suggests you ring them up and they pick up up and take you where you want to go. It’s free where I live. The phone number was very similar to mine and so I kept getting calls!

   I shall consider a co-written blog on the frugal way to riches. I am co-writing a novel but my co-writer hasn’t done anything for month. I expect things will start again soon, with the kids back to school. I have to finish editing my novel, it’s taking longer than I thought. I was going to do it today but decided to do house cleaning instead. I made a discovery though; the wash and wax I use on my car works great on my kitchen floor! Now a woman would never think of that. It’s non-slip too. The slave drive is usually the D: drive on a desktop.

   On the subject of slavery, many people are slaves and so will never be rich. If you smoke a cigarette to help you calm down or have a drink at the end of the day to relax; or both – you’re a slave to your addictions. Even employment is a type of slavery quite often, it stresses people out and they resort to nicotine and alcohol to relax; both expensive addictions. I have given up both, I would like a cigarette, it’s been 7 years now and so I won’t touch another. I’m quite expert at making wine but it’s about 18 months since I had a drink. I was drinking too much and so stopped. the reason for too much alcohol was withdrawal from an addictive prescription drug. That is another form of slavery, addiction to drugs, legal or illegal. I am still addicted to one but the dose is very low now so I’ll soon beat it! I beat the last one, but came off too quickly and needed alcohol; this time I will come off really slowly. I can have the odd social drink when I am completely off addictive drugs. I won’t need anything then. In the meantime, I am fairly frugal. I don’t waste money. I go to the hospital and when I’m driving back stop to take photographs or do shopping. The last time was an appointment on a Saturday morning, I was a little nervous because I had an important blood test to arrange and a different doctor to see. I went shopping before the appointment to pass the time and got a few bargains. Winter clothing is cheap in summer and so a £30 sweater ($50) was reduced without me even asking to £20 ($33) and I came out from the hospital and went to a retail park. I bought a jet washer on offer at half price and bought that wash and wax for the car. The wash and wax was buy one get one free and the girl on the check out told me to go get another free! I had a good day really!

   Yesterday, I bought chicken for £10. One pack is £4. I can buy 3 packs for £10 and so save 38% by buying 3. I use one and freeze two. Of course I don’t always cook; I went and bought fries ready cooked for dinner and cooked chicken in the microwave! We of course call fries chips in England!

   I nearly forgot, you mentioned my photographs, yes you can use them. I mainly take photographs of building and landscapes. I have invested my own school of Art and put pictures on Deviant Art; I call it Neodigital art. I take digital photographs with depth and form and add colour or even take colour away and have the pictures monochrome. If I win the UK lottery tonight, I shall have my pictures printed on canvas and have an exhibition in the local gallery. The last major exhibition there launched Stuckism and that is in the Tate gallery now! When my pictures are really well known I may need someone to organise my US exhibitions!

   We may not get as rich as we want to be but it is fun trying. Einstein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Everyone has imagination and needs to have the will to use it. I don’t want to be on television, video or do book signings. I just want people to see my pictures and read what I write. I would like to do interactive fiction again too, that is so cool to actually know who is reading my work and be able to feature them in it. The people like being a character in fiction too!

   Let me know what kind of photographs you would like or examples of my artistic endeavours and I’ll attach some to an email and send them. We can keep promoting this blog and the more people that take an interest, the more chance we have of a collective will; to be rich and famous on the internet! Join now: places are limited!

   Reply
7. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/08/28 at 5:33 pm
   This was my horoscope for today:
   If you teach or train, work in sales, marketing, in technology or the media this is an important phase.

   I am all of those.

   I like the pyramid, I think I should start at the bottom and work my way up; but I’m at the top working my way down…

   Reply
8. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/08/30 at 8:02 pm
   Hi Shari,

   Are we rich and infamous yet? I uploaded some of my pictures to Facebook yesterday and got some positive comments; one from an artist. I got a 10% discount in the Victorian sweet shop! I just posted a picture of a fish and chip shop on a website. Someone from California wanted to try English fish and chips in Brighton; so I tried to tempt them farther north!

   I had the robot from Google visit my website yesterday and will follow the links from it to other websites and you have a link so that will improve your SEO. Although I don’t think it needs improving. The point is anyone can get some web space and put a website on the internet fairly easily these days. Mine is on the free space provided by my ISP; I will buy some more space soon though to publicise my novel, various writing and of course my Neodigital Art. I shall have an online exhibition and when we’re very rich I’ll have a champagne reception one at the Victorian Art gallery near where I live. Not everything is Victorian here, the church up the road is even older about 500 years and the pub down the road from the church is 300 years old and was used by the famous Highwayman Dick Turpin.

   I’m now going to bed and watch a James Bond film on my laptop in bed. I shall have a wide screen television in my bedroom when we’re really rich; maybe…

   Reply
9. 

   Mike Maynard

   September 6, 2010

   2010/09/01 at 6:10 pm
   Hi Shari,

   It’s a couple of days since my last confession! Not much has happened, but I am getting more tired so I need the results of the blood tests I’ve had done. I had a published author mow my lawn this morning though so my work on his website was appreciated! We have to turn things to our advantage! The weather in England has improved and so I may get out and take more photographs before the winter starts. It went down to 6 C, two days ago, only 1 degree higher than my fridge! But I think it’s around 65 F this afternoon and sunny again. I hope you’re still getting plenty of volunteers to drive you.

   If I can take more photographs I shall have more pictures for my very exclusive school of art. The ones I uploaded to Facebook seemed popular and I was showing off a video today of some pictures in a slide show with classical music played by the London symphony orchestra as a background. It’s a shame I can’t use it, the music would breach copyright. The combination of two types of art is impressive.

   I’m around 8,000 miles away so I would volunteer to drive you. My Mozart playing in the car may drive you nuts and I could just imagine the conversation about why the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car. It could be a a little disconcerting if I forgot to drive on the ‘wrong’ side of the road too! At least you have wide roads there, it’s like an obstacle course here driving over humps and between parked cars in narrow streets. I once drove through an obstacle course set up by the army, that was easy compared to driving on a road now. People keep telling me to get a small car, they are easier to park and I definitely can’t get in and out of sports cars now; but like plenty of leg room.

   I hope you got my email and photographs, you too can be an artist with your computer and digital camera! I shall try to think of some frugal tips for getting rich and famous on the internet; infamous like me is easy! It’s making money at it that’s a little more difficult.

   Mike

   Reply
10. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 6, 2010

    2010/09/03 at 3:09 pm
    Hi Shari,

    I see you are still getting contributors, but we need more so I put a link on my Home Page to your blog – in the prime position right at the top. The ‘Get rich and famous’ on the Internet theme should intrigue them. the sun is still shining in England, I hope it last through Sunday, the roads will be quiet and I can take more photographs for my digital art school.

    I am doing the rounds of the social networks today trying to catch up and counting all that virtual money I have! It’s a shame it’s not real, we could retire on the billion dollars I have on one site! lol.

    I have talked to my friend in China, she has just gone to bed, she has an early start tomorrow. They are 8 hours ahead of England and now I have Rachell on Windows Live in Nevada who is 8 hours behind England. She’s on early, it 3:40 here. My Chinese student friend will show new students around the university and meet them at 7 in the morning; for this she gets free food for the weekend. I commented they are getting generous, next year they will hand out text books! It seems they have no plans for text books next year either. I think my student friends will be shocked when they come to England to do post graduate studies. I think it will be an exchange scheme and their university has links with my local university and so they will at least know someone here. I have looked ta the courses and the International business course is a masters and at a campus about 8 miles form here.

    I have also been contributing to a thread about frugal living on LI, they are stealing our idea! Say no to credit cards and say yes to getting rich and famous! Networking is important on a lot of social networking sites and even having something in common with your connections. I play Farmville on Facebook and I’m on level 83. I don’t just play, I win! I can then blog on a website and have a page of Farmville Secrets!

    Getting back to frugal, I bought a book from Amazon for less that £2 (about $3) that is a very clear guide to doing a website with Dreamweaver 8; OK, it’s not the latest version but still does a good website. I must read the rest of the book, I have 300 files on that website and launched it a week after we got the domain name; coding by hand for the first week in HTML using notepad! I learn fast and have CSS working now!

    I may have a Frugal Friday blog once a week when I get some more webspace to put WordPress on. My Chinese friend thinks I’m really good at doing Chinese horoscopes, I wonder if you can get rich doing that? I was hoping she would do those, it is so much more convincing if you happen to be Chinese! I have to come up with business ideas for my two Chinese friends when they come to England. They are thinking of getting jobs, they will make more money in business and they won’t need work permits. Maybe translating people’s names into Chinese so they can have them tattooed somewhere very personal? Tattoos and piercings are very fashionable amongst people with too much money and not much sense. The other option is in translating, they must both be close to fluent in English when they come to England; that isn’t easy but they work hard and study at weekends.

    As writers of course social networking is important to us to get new ideas to steal from people. I steal ideas all the time and then patch them together and with a little word craft I have something worth writing about. The secret of success of course if diversity, being able to talk to someone in China, play Farmville on Facebook; both at the same time and then switch to chatting to someone in the USA, do some blogging, plan what to cook for dinner, listen to Fantasia on British Seasongs and shout at next door cat – all at the same time. This is multi-tasking in the 21st century!

    I’m going to drive to a fish and chip shop and get chips for dinner. people around the world are really interested in what I have for dinner. The picture of a fish and chips shop was really popular when I put that on my website. I must find that again; it could be on photobucket? The young girl in the photo learning up against the counter had legs up to her armpits though that attracted a few comments. I have all my art on photobucket it saves me web space. I have had some good comments about my photography and Neodigital Art. It’s a very exclusive Art movement…

    Reply
11. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 6, 2010

    Hi Shari,

    I have attached more photos and even some music, I think you may like this track. I advised my friend in China with her assignment; she had to do one about the woman who founded the Red Cross in America. I forget who it was now. She also has a young man interested in her again, but after two broken hearts last year I think she will be cautious this year! He asked who I was, I told her to say an English writer, 185cm tall with a fast car and make him even more jealous! Lol. The Chinese have a thing about how tall they are and all the girls like tall guys.

    I have done your Chinese horoscope. I did the notes; I’ll try to write it if my headache goes off. I suppose I should do some editing. I also need to do shopping, my friend phoned and wanted to come with me taking photographs. We stopped at the supermarket on the way back and they had just closed; they close early it seems on Sunday. There is a thread on LinkedIn for psychics and visionaries; I may shock them with a scientific explanation of how people may be able to be visionaries and ‘see’ the future! I like making the unbelievable sound believable!

    I must print out my friends address in China too; she sent the address of the university. It’s her birthday on October 1st but it’s a public holiday and so she seems keen to get her birthday card before then. I thought I had stamps but I only have domestic ones, so I’ll have to go to the post office and get stamps and air mail stickers and send the card in plenty of time. I send a little money usually too. I send £20 once for Chinese New year and she got 300 Yuan for that and it paid her hospital bill. I was accused of being a paedophile once for talking to young girls on the Internet. People are stupid; I had just been made an official campaigner for the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Kim was at school then and I was even criticised for being friend with a girl who had left school and was modelling by that time. She is 23 now and Kim will be 20 on October 1st. I think when someone is 8,000 miles away it’s a little silly worrying. You never know the future. My friend who became a model turned out to be an heiress. Kim is planning on attending my local university to do masters in International Business studies. She introduced me to her friend and she is hoping to come here too, they have to become virtually fluent in English first and pass the Cambridge English examination.

    I attract attention on the internet and not all of it is good. We get a laugh though sometimes. Someone thought I meant marijuana when I mentioned pot plants. That is a continuous source of amusement for my friends! Lol

    Keep on blogging, I hope you like classical music, no words to interrupt your train of thought.

    Mike

    Reply
12. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 6, 2010

    This is turning into a phenomenon rather than a blog. I still haven’t written up your Chinese horoscope yet. I at least bought some eggs at twice the price I usually pay. We learn from our mistakes though and I won’t forget them next time! I helped my Chinese student friend with her assignment about Clara Barton who founded the American Red Cross. Today, her friend came online and said she had a problem with her homework. Yes, it was the Clara Barton assignment and she didn’t do it over the weekend. She had to rush and the internet must have been busier because she couldn’t download the PDF reader from Adobe to read the PDF I sent. I could imagine you saying this quote from Clara Barton, Shari:

    “I may sometimes be willing to teach for nothing, but if paid at all, I shall never do a man’s work for less than a man’s pay.”

    That is probably why your husband cooks, chefs make better money than female cooks, generally speaking. Food always tastes better when someone else has cooked it too. I imagine your husband does it for the prestige of being the chef in charge of the kitchen rather than the money though; prestige and self respect can really enrich a person. I imagine you assist sometimes?

    You can play the classical music I sent while you eat the candle lit dinner your chef has prepared now. The music is called The Banks of Green Willow (Butterworth) played by the English Sinfonia and conducted by Neville Dilkes. It was played and recorded at the Royal Albert Hall for the Last Night of The Proms a few years ago. The Last Night hasn’t been the same since, gone are all the patriotic tunes like Rule Britannia – way too politically correct now to be seen to British and proud to be a Briton. I like the Fantasia on British Sea Songs; that is on Youtube if anyone is interested.

    I have done a little proof reading today, unfortunately I went to sleep; not I hasten to add because my novel is boring. I was at one of the most interesting parts; where my hero discovers he is rich and famous. You should read my novel it could be quite inspirational! I aim of course to inform, entertain and amuse. There is a lot of information in my novel that I hope will inspire people. I have unusual characters in it too. The hero of the novel is English, but I have an American, a German, a wealthy heiress from Italy, a young model from the Netherlands, a photo journalist, a tough Irish man who made his fortune selling a well known dark ale, a young man who has a girl in every port and of course the parrot! They all share a adventure and find untold wealth and the wealth isn’t just money. They all have enough money before they discover the wealth. One of the things they discover of course is each other and the pleasure of sharing an adventure together. Life is an adventure and it is a great thing to find true friends that are on the same path as us to share that adventure and create a new phenomenon. The internet is full of adventures of course and international by it’s nature.

    I know soldiers who have fought in Afghanistan, my friends in Australia are particularly funny, my friend in Northern Ireland is not only funny but is a good webmaster. Then there are the writers who are so creative they continually surprise and innovate. My friend in Texas who says you can insult anyone; just start the sentence with ‘Bless him’. ‘Bless him, he ain’t too bright but he attends church every Sunday like clockwork!’ I mustn’t forget members of the aristocracy of course. I have a Countess in my address book and someone who is related to the former Royal family of Russia, the Romanov’s. Strangely enough they were both models. I also like my friends in Malaysia, the Philippines and China; they are always trying to ‘better themselves’. You can make friends on every continent and in every country; strangely though I have no friends in South America for some reason. I think that is the only place really. I have friends in Western and Eastern Europe.

    Anyway, we make friends around the world and regardless of their skin colour or culture we accept them and they accept us; that makes us truly rich and diverse. With so many people knowing who we are we also become infamous!

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 7, 2010

       Hey, Mike,
       1) I like thinking of DRIVING MISS SHARI as a “phenom” 🙂
       2) Did you check your eggs for salmonella? This is what you must do: a) wash the shells and don’t eat them; b) make certain the whites aren’t runny; c) throw them away and eat cereal instead. Do you get Capt’n Crunch there?. My friend in Australia wanted some and couldn’t get any, so I sent him two boxes. Stupid me! I didn’t even package them up with anything more than wrapping paper. He was nice enough not to tell me they were Super Crunch.
       3) My hubby does the cooking because he wants to eat. 🙂
       4) I’ll check out Fantasia on British Sea Songs on YouTube. Isn’t YouTube great? Did you see on my Facebook page where a YouTube video helped a friend of mine fix the derailer gear on my mountain bike [while my hubby was cooking dinner].
       5) I agree. The Internet is chock full of adventure . . . and new friends for us all!
       6) I can’t wait to read your novel. Any chance of publishing a dialogue or two for us?

       Reply
13. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 7, 2010

    I shall write more about my novel. I have so far this morning played Farmville of course, I have to stay out in front! It is more like a vineyard than a farm now though. I have wine on my mind this morning because I was asked how to make wine from Elderberries and someone asked my advice on improving a wine in a vineyard that will be made soon. Of course wine is made in California and for your big ‘bash’ you could go ‘frugal’ and make some wine. In my novel the hero originally made pineapple wine, but I had to cut 60,000 words and so that very informative bit had to go. It seemed like a good idea because much of the novel is set in the Mediterranean on sun kissed beaches and features barbecues, babes and beer! That is a good idea too, barbecues can be quite frugal. I did one and asked everyone to bring food and it worked quite well. The bag of chicken I had was huge and already cooked in a spicy something so all I needed to do was put it on the barbie for a couple of minutes.

    Winemakers quite often have 200 litre plastic containers and a with some grape and apple juice from the supermarket and a couple of hundred bags of sugar; it wouldn’t be hard to make a batch of wine suitable for a big bash. There isn’t much time though, it would take a month to make it. Never mind, we will store that idea away for next time. It would have been difficult scrounging 280 empty wine bottles to put it in anyway. Then we would have needed a head cook and bottle washer. I forgot, you have one!

    I have read this morning tips on driving on roads in the UK. There is no such thing as ‘your’ side of the road, we share. We drive on both sides of the road, while trying to drive on the left! It is sort of like driving through an obstacle course between park cars and over speed humps. The writer advised not driving in cities, good advice.

    This is an extract in case you need to cross the street:

    Even if you don’t drive, as a pedestrian you’ll have to remember that among our British and Irish cousins’ many unusual habits, traffic comes from the opposite direction — look both ways before crossing any street.

    The most dangerous thing on our roads? Quote:

    Horror stories about British and Irish traffic abound. They’re fun to tell, but driving here is really only a problem for those who make it one. The most dangerous creature on the road is the panicked American. Drive defensively, observe, fit in, avoid big-city driving when you can, and wear your seat belt.

    Definitely wear you seat belt, it will at least give you the illusion of safety!

    I found an error in Wikipedia this morning. It was on wine making though and winemakers are very secretive. I looked up the quote about making brandy from wine. When they distil they discard the head, the lighter alcohols that are produced first and then the heart is the alcohol that is used and the tail is heavy alcohols and again discarded. the discarded alcohols are of course used for something else. Pressing grapes is a skill and once mastered can be used for pressing olives to make olive oil or flowers to make perfume. The oil from the flowers mixed with one of those ‘discarded’ alcohols will produce a perfume or a cologne. Those oils can be worth a great deal of money. I should know what oils go into Chanel No5; but I’ve forgotten but they are the most expensive and sought after.

    Have my mentioned my family came to England from France when the Normans invaded in 1066? It must be where I get my interest in wine and food from. I find the French accent fascinating too, I wish I could speak French.

    Je serai de retour. (I’ll be back)

    Reply
14. 

    sharisax

    September 7, 2010

    Morning, Mike:
    1) Pineapple wine sounds like an eye-opener in the morning . . . and a god way to slip into dreams of Hawaiian vacations past.
    2) Did Gatsby do a barBQ for his Big Bash. I think not. “Frugal” will lead up to the Big Bash . . . and perhaps follow it, but certainly not during!
    3) Have you ever been to Boston? They have a spot on the traffic accident form for events happening in the ROTARIES. Now those are dangerous places to drive!
    4) Have you checked out YouTube for winemaking secrets? I bet there are a bunch.

    As always, THX for starting my day with a dose of Maynard-ality.
    🙂

    Reply
15. 

    marilyn redding

    September 7, 2010

    You already are rich Shari, you have the most important thing in the world, a sense of humor. You are turning a situation into an opportunity to enlist the entire world. I am sure you will find your fame. I live in novato and am retired, so be happy to give you a ride anytime. Take care, Marilyn

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 7, 2010

       Hey, Marilyn!
       How cool that you found me . . . and “us,” i.e. Mike, Faith, and everyone in the community. Let’s definitely chat on the phone soon. Email me and I’ll send you the phone number: 415/897-6052. Maybe you’d like to drive me to a BNI meeting at 6:30 some Wednesday morning. If you don’t already know what BNI is, you can get a great free breakfast and meet some awesome people!

       PS I’m copying your comment into the first blog post as well — where my goal is to collect 500 comments.
       PPS Looking forward to meeting you.

       Reply
16. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 8, 2010

    I’m pleased you liked my blog within a blog. I’ve attached 6 pictures. I could make them smaller but then you lose definition sometimes. For blogs they should be smaller but you may just like one and want to put it on a digital picture frame or print it. The originals are better.

    I just posted a link to http://www.jakewest.co.uk on Amazon and a link to a video of my short story on LinkedIn.

    Mike likes his Pandora the Parrot

    Someone suggested I write a short story about my imaginary parrot; Pandora, I couldn’t miss an opportunity to put a link to my children’s story! You can find the video of the children’s story I did for charity on my website – http://www.mike10613.talktalk.net/editorial.htm there are more pictures and a few ideas on there too; I mostly get visitors from the UK, but they are from around the world. I get schools and educational institutes a lot; especially ones connected to the Prince of Wales for some obscure reason.

    Mike learns to photograph without his glasses

    I hope the weather stays good so I can get out and take more photographs on Sunday, although I have no idea where to go. I got good pictures of the Metro last week I have a fetish for railways lines, canals and anything that goes into the distance and gives depth. My photos of the woodland weren’t so good. I must remember to take my glasses next time! Reactolite glasses are hopeless for photography; they go dark when the sun comes out!

    I’ll have to find my notes on Chinese astrology; I can do your Chinese horoscope then! That would make for an interesting blog. Even Kim my Chinese student friend thinks they are good. Her name is actually Zhang Jing; but they have Western names too. Her friend Angela has an even more obscure Chinese name so it’s just as well.

    Mike warms up with 1,000 words

    Someone on LinkedIn said he wrote 1,000 words today! I warm up on a 1,000 words. The novel I’m co-writing has chapters of around 2,800 words and I write one of those in an hour or two. I have written 20,000 words in a weekend; but that was when my novel was really fresh and really good fun! I find editing it again really boring but still manage to edit 20,000 words at a time. I think I have around 70,000 words to edit; mainly looking for minor mistakes. I’ll try traditional publishers then.

    I was going to name my website after my imaginary parrot, but after doing http://www.jakewest.co.uk, I think a website with WordPress on that can link in to the site I’ll do with Dreamweaver will be better. I can blog and promote my novel, then promote whatever I want to . . . like my school of Art! We have 1 Gb of space on a Windows server for Jake West. I’m thinking of 150 Gb on a Linux server which will be massive; but I’m told it’s easy to upload WordPress software with fantastico and I get that free with the space. I get lots more open source software too.

    I have a big choice of scripts with that for blogging or content management. I would like a forum too to chat about my novel and writing. I’m learning from doing this Jake West site for now, I thought about a college course yesterday, but even though I now most of it and it’s online; it would still take up a lot of time and so I’m probably better off writing. Who needs a BSc in psychology anyway! Lol.

    Yes, Mike, tour those pubs

    It will probably be after my next photographic experience… I’ll go canal hunting or tour the pubs for photographs.

    I had chicken and chips, I can’t eat the batter on the fish from the fish and chip shop I’m sort of allergic. I’ll look on photobucket and see if my chip shop photo is on there!

    Best wishes from England keep it up, we are infamous, just lets make enough money for new cars now. We’re rich in experience and knowledge too.

    Mike.

    see Mike’s photos on Shari’s Facebook profile

    Reply
17. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 8, 2010

    Hi Shari,

    I have to be quick today, I’m cooking lunch. I have played Farmville, done my email and given advice to my Chinese friend over 8,000 miles away.

    I have just read about a woman who sells 8 teeth whitening kits a day and makes about 8 pounds profit on each; that’s about $100 a day in her spare time. For sending out 8 packages. She sells on EBay. A critic says you can’t make money on EBay and all ‘Get rich schemes’ are a con! A lot of get rich schemes are a con but you can still get rich! My friend who came with me taking photographs on Sunday is always negative. My new school of art was a pie in the sky idea! When I gave some pictures to the staff in the art gallery and they were impressed, it was just luck of course! He came with me one day shopping and i couldn’t find what I wanted, something to clean my keyboard and a SCART lead. I asked the young lady in the store and followed her around and she helped me shop. At the checkout we talked about my novel while my friend looked at cameras. Back in the car he asked what we talked about. I explained and said she seemed impressed that I was a writer. He said how attractive she was and wished he could talk to women so easily. I suggested he became a writer!

    Yesterday I was still proof reading my novel when I went to bed. I intended to watch television and did watch a little. I have to get on with the proof reading and editing. I think I’m about three quarters of the way through and I found a few commas to move and one word to change yesterday and so it’s looking good to be the final edit!

    I spent a lot of time helping my friends on the internet and this is of course what you have to do if you want to be rich, famous and popular on the internet! You also have to learn to type like someone demented!

    My friend in China had a problem. She was five minutes late for a class and as a punishment besides doing her usual assignment she was required to write 500 words of self criticism for being late for class. Whatever she wrote she was almost guaranteed to get more criticism and get put down for her ‘bad behaviour’. She is however a top student and so did the wisest thing and asked a friend to write it for her. if you have to write a 500 self criticism in English who better to ask than a writer in England who went to a typical English grammar school! Yes, I got the job! English culture is of course different and I could foresee the further criticism to come and I write well when I have a deadline of 30 minutes! This is what I wrote and sent back to China:
    
    I am one of the leaders of the Taekwondo Institute. I was at a meeting as the leader and representing the university when the meeting continued longer than expected. I had a class but thought I would be just in time for my class. The meeting continued for another minute or two. Then it took me a minute or two longer to get to class than I would usually expect. I was late for class by five minutes. It is difficult to make an excuse for this lateness. I could have arrived on time if I had made my excuses to the meeting and left just five minutes earlier. It was a difficult choice. Do I wait until the end of the meeting and risk being a few minutes late? Do I make my excuses and leave early even though this may reflect badly on me and the university.

    I had to consider the best course of action. The best course of action would be not to do anything that would reflect badly on this institution as a seat of higher learning. The reputation of the university and its students is very important. I am doing business studies and in business you take calculated risks. If the risk goes wrong you can lose prestige or money; but learning to calculate risks, assess each risk every day is an important part of learning. I assessed the risk and thought the optimum outcome for everyone would be for me to stay at the meeting to the end and to arrive at class on time. This was a calculated risk. The risk was; I would arrive late and I did arrive late. This is not normally acceptable, but in mitigation of my behaviour I would like you to try to understand the choices I had and why I decided to take a risk on an optimal outcome.

    The question I now ask myself is what would I do in a similar situation? Every situation is different of course. I can at the next meeting try to foresee the meeting running late earlier in the meeting and mention to the other leaders of the group that I have a class and mention the time. I must stress that I need to be on time for the class and evoke a sense of urgency amongst my peers so the meeting ends on time. I will then be on time for class, my honour will be intact and the reputation of the university will be enhanced if anything; if I make a wise choice early in the meeting.

    We all make mistakes and we can only hope to learn from those mistakes and perform better in the future. In business the process of learning from one’s mistakes is vital for success and as a student at this university this incident has contributed to that learning process. Even a mistake can be of great value in a learning environment such as this.

    Thank you for reading this.

    It is 500 words exactly, just in case the petty officious reader counts! I think it’s good and you always know when you finish something if it’s really good and serves the purpose! Friends are like gold, even if they are 8,000 miles or more away, we need to network and become enriched.

    Lunch calls… I’ll be back…

    Reply
18. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 10, 2010

    I promised you a Chinese horoscope and so here it is!

    Sharisax.

    Chinese horoscope: The Year of the Dog.

    You were born in the Chinese year of the Dog. You are like our canine friends very loyal and faithful. You tend to specialise in something in business or as a hobby or a combination of both. On the inside you are often worried and feel stressed but don’t allow it to show on the outside. You are a good friend and find communication easy and you also forgive people easily. You can get angry and have a temper but rarely while in a stable relationship. In a loving relationship you are very faithful and commit for life. You are also very faithful to your friends and supportive of them.

    Notable people born in the year of the dog include Socrates and Benjamin Franklin. Like them you can be resourceful, unselfish, curious, introverted and at times quite cynical.

    A suitable occupation would include anything where communication is a key requirement. You would make a good counsellor, doctor, lawyer, psychiatrist, politician, teacher, activist, priest or even a spy!

    You dislike unfairness intensely and with a perceptive awareness and diplomatic skills attempt to right wrongs in your life. You like harmony and dislike hostility and actively promote harmony in your environment. You talk a lot but have the ability to listen and to learn. Your ego bruises quite easily, but you have great personal power over people and this compensates. You have a good understanding of organisations and the organisational nature of society and of businesses. You can be a perfectionist in the home and sometimes in your work showing attention to minor detail. Your friends find you a calming and an inspiring influence and are something of a healer when people are troubled or sick.

    The Future

    You will be focused on change in every area of your life and even your home. You have a strong desire to succeed and believe in thinking positively. This isn’t enough initially and although you try your best, you are disappointed with the way things turn out. Only you see it at a failure and it won’t be your fault that things didn’t go better. Things will be delayed and this will cause frustration, this is unavoidable and although this initially causes anxiety; you soon move on.

    The next phase in your life is better but still not good enough for you. You have a plan! This time it involves the period of traditional goodwill; Christmas! It can’t fail can it? You come through this phase and still you don’t feel satisfied.

    The next phase is quite unusual for you, it seems too quiet! This is a period of reflection on the past, on the year of 2010. This is when you shine, when new ideas emerge and new goals are set for 2011; to create a phenomenon and take the world by storm! You look back and learn from mistakes and this gives you what you need to achieve something truly great. It is important to leave a mark on the world, a message saying; Shari was here!

    2011 begins with an ever increasing awareness. Today will be better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today. The key to success is your friends and everyone you have contact with. This phenomenon is going to be international and you will inspire people on an international scale. You will earn their respect, fire their imaginations and be a mentor that leads others to greatness as you lead the way.

    You have one small problem to overcome and it appears at first to be a mountain to climb. You need to learn a few new things to make this new phase in your life truly phenomenal. This is a problem for you and you begin to make excuses. There is not enough time… I don’t have the patience… There can be no excuses because this is your destiny.

    You have a little time to learn however and most of all you need to learn to cover those weak points; those gaps in your knowledge. I suspect those gaps may be of a technical nature. So a short period of learning must be endured before you start the New Year.

    Now before anyone gets confused the Chinese New Year starts on February 3rd 2011 and so you have some time to prepare after Christmas for your new role and new challenge. I remember someone having a Chinese horoscope written and they were born in the 1987 the year of rabbit. There horoscope told them nothing, it was nonsense. I did it again for them! This time I checked and they were born on January 1st before the Chinese New Year! Ah… They were really born in the year of the tiger! Now the horoscope makes sense! Beware of small mistakes…

    By coincidence 2011, is the year of the rabbit and on February 3rd your new period of transition will start and so you should prepare for it. Traditionally this is a red letter day for children. Chinese children traditionally are given a red letter usually containing a little money at Chinese New Year; this is considered lucky. Not just to receive the money but to give the money. You may just like to save a red envelope that you come across at Christmas for just this purpose; because you may when the time comes need one. You will have a young child on your mind and a gift of luck may well be appropriate and inspire good things. This could set the tone for this transitional period of inspiration and good fortune. It won’t do any harm to keep a red envelope handy anyway!

    You may also have the opportunity to be a benefactor in other ways too in this fortuitous period when you feel the need to share your good fortune with others.

    I have a note saying November 10th 2009. I have no idea what it means; I can’t remember but that date may be conspicuous? It says photo next to the date!

    As this new phenomenon develops you need to look at things laterally, from a totally different angle. A project you have in mind can be done quite differently and people you meet will help you develop that idea. There will be a meeting in the spring that leads on to a community project in your own community. It is a new take on something that has already been done, but you do it differently.

    You choose the colour black as some form of fashion statement and perhaps travel to a meeting or conference but your main concerns are to bring back with you knowledge and new insights to use in your community project. What could be local and international? Perhaps, a community project that reaches out to the world at large?

    This phase of your life will last for some time and things will escalate and there will be days when you have doubts; but you will keep on going and re-define your goals along the way and let new ideas and new ways of doing things evolve. You will discover a new way of enjoying success and this leads to a more self assured attitude that inspires others even more.

    This will be followed by a period of caution…

    迈克尔
    张晶（收）

    我会回来的 (I’ll be back)

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 10, 2010

       Michael, this horoscope is truly AMAZING! In so many ways you have described who I am, what I do, and where I’m going. No doubt that I will be re-posting this, perhaps on its own — with my interlinear comments. I need to scrutinize and deliberate . . . and then use this information. Again, this was amazing.

       Thank you so much, Michael, for taking such a vital role in our collective growth, wealth, and success. I’m so looking forward to see what the future brings.
       🙂

       Reply
19. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 10, 2010

    Hi Shari,

    I just read that again, it was quite good! I think the little Chinese at the end was a nice touch. My name in Chinese and the name of my Chinese culture consultant in China! Next time we do one of those I must remember to ask if the person we are doing the horoscope for has any questions about the future they would like us to answer.

    I have been checking out domain names for my new website. I was going to put it in the name of my imaginary parrot; but it has to be more general. I want it to cover blogging, writing, technology, psychology, my novel, my art, my photography and of course social networking. I need a creative name. I am getting better at web design, I added a favicon to my website; a tiny picture of a pirate ship now comes up in the tab at the top of the browser!

    I shall try to be back tomorrow, probably rambling on about my hopes of a lottery win!

    Michael.

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 10, 2010

       Hey, Michael, do you think that London PR firm would see the value in having the collaboration of a Chinese fortune-teller and a former nursery school administrator/college professor on their side?

       I really think you need to start conversing with Faith, who has the blog-within-a-blog after yours. She’s obsessed with us and is Totally Creative. Ask to think of names, etc. for your new website!!!!

       My own question for the future is When am I going to be able to drive!!!

       Reply
20. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 12, 2010

    I think you’ll be driving before Christmas and have a whole new Christmas inspired blog. I think getting you license back could be delayed though; maybe that will be the cause of your disappointment with this phase of you life? You could always put your big bash off until Christmas and then you can serve traditional fare, turkey sandwiches, mince pies and a drop of bubbly? Enough of Christmas, I’ll make myself depressed thinking of the cost! The sun is shining but there are dark clouds on the horizon! You could save some Christmassy graphics to put on your blog though (God I’m at it again).

    I’m thinking of a Victorian sweet shop again today! I can go there and then the dreaded supermarket, it might be quiet being Sunday. I’ll try to stock up on a few things. I have checked the availability of names for a new website this morning and read up a little on web design. I had this idea for a navigation bar, I have to decide that in advance so I can design a template. I am not good at graphics and need a lot of them to do a navigation bar! It is hard to get the design right first time, but thing like the background will so in CSS and once decided it’s a lot of work to alter it. Some things are global in CSS. CSS is cascaded style sheets and determines the style of the site. I want to make a start and do a web on my computer that will be uploaded to a server later, after I have bought the webspace. It will be another steep learning curve because I shall probably put WordPress on. I want interaction!
    The main purpose is to impress the stuffy old traditional publishers to begin with. Then I can concentrate on readers.

    I think being a writer isn’t about making lots of money, although it would come in useful for a new car… It’s about enjoyment, creating characters and developing them. It’s about making friends around the world. I write satire and mainly post it on one particular website. I make fun of the journalists on the site; they don’t complain! They aren’t great writers but they know my comments are popular with users and often brighten up a boring article. I was considering sending them another article, but we have to be practical. They have become less boring, I think the editor has got the message not to edit too much and leave the humour in. It”s a little late though, she mangled my last article and their competitors may appreciate my work more. I won’t tell the competition how much trouble they are in; that would be unfair. They are suffering and making writers redundant. The expensive offices were a mistake and they now realise freelance writer belting out stuff like this in a home office are quite good! I must tidy my office up, my desktop computer is in pieces. I had a look in earlier after seeing a friends photographs of her new computer desk that was self assembly on Facebook. It’s about 3 feet wide. I think mine is about six feet wide and still there is not enough room. I can usually find things though, so even if I do sit in the kitchen drinking tea and writing using my laptop. I can walk into my office and use the printer or quickly find paper, CD’s, DVD’s or whatever it is I want.

    Finally, anyone reading this please do click my name and visit my website. Visit http://www.Jakewest.co.uk too, I worked hard on that website and we still haven’t got the counter up to 500! I have a few pages on that site too. There is a mean techno version of the Pirates of the Caribbean music! I put my Farmville secrets on there too! I may do technology reviews on there one of the days. I could review my new laptop, 1 Tb hard drive and all the rest of my toys!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 12, 2010

       Let’s give you some attention this morning [am here in US], Mike:
       1) If I “have my way” I’ll get my license sooner rather than later. I sent a letter to the hospital complaining about the stress experienced by the medical staff’s carelessness..
       2) You are right, though, in thinking that delaying the start of my driving would provide more of this “stress” as subject matter, but, honestly, there are lots of other things to DRIVE MISS SHARI in addition to humans.
       3) Why do writers write? I’ve struggled with just that question at times. For me it is certainly a whole lot more than “self expression.” Years of experience, education, and being a compassionate person have all contributed to my desire to share knowledge and create Wisdom.
       4) Money is nice — as long as it doesn’t change one for the worse, i.e. flamboyance, carelessness, drugs, etc.
       5) CSS is definitely one of the things I might want to take classes about – vis a vis your astrological recommendation to learn something new that I’ll need.

       Looking forward to “your being back”
       🙂
       PS What did you buy at the sweet shop?

       Reply
       1. 

          sharisax

          September 12, 2010

          Of course, Mike, you must realize that this conversation among writers WILL lead to a popular Best Seller!

          Reply
21. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 13, 2010

    I bought Gray’s herbal tablets at the sweet shop, no artificial colours or flavours; just sugar and herbal flavouring. You worked out my plan; to make my novel a best seller. It’s getting serious now I have been reading my Dreamweaver book today! I’m going to weave dreams! I have new photographs too, I uploaded some to Facebook. Time for bed, it’s Monday morning already…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 13, 2010

       Speaking of “weaving dreams”: have you seen the movie “Inception” with Leonardo di Caprio? We saw it last night and I loved it. My hubby thought it was “too fantastical”; that’s probably one of the reasons I liked it.
       🙂

       Reply
22. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 13, 2010

    I’m back. I have read more of my book on Dreamweaver and I’m getting a clearer idea of how my new website will be designed. I have a name in mind. Suggestions are welcome though. if anyone would like to visit my small website just click my name. I would like to get the ‘hit’ counter up to 100,000 before the end of the year. Ambitious? No, I think it’s achievable. I shall edit it more this week and add more of my artistic creations. I have uploaded some to my Facebook page but has more to do.

    I went to my Victorian sweet shop yesterday, there is a picture of it on Facebook. My friend in Texas put her order in for some boiled sweets. Then after that I went to Morrison’s a well known supermarket here. My friend in Texas said she missed Morrison’s and so I uploaded a photograph I took to Facebook!

    This blog is about getting rich and famous, preferably frugally. I had a few bargains after the 10% off a jar of sweets. In the supermarket I got a well known brand of shower gel cheaper if I bought two and then I noticed the supermarkets own brand for just 10p – I had to try that! I don’t work down a coal mine or anything – it is only to freshen up really. I don’t need anything extra-strong! They have an amazing amount of stuff in there and try to keep you in there as long as possible; there is even a tea shop or something in there. I got out eventually and then went to take photographs. Notice that I combine three things in one drive to economise on fuel. I like canals and we have more than Venice but access is hard.

    I went to a place called Hill Top and as the name suggests it’s up high! I drove on to a housing estate where my sister lived many years ago and thought I would get access to the canal there. The roads were even narrower than I remembered. The open fields had been grassed and planted with trees; sensible politicians and bureaucrats would have widened the road a little at the same time. I soon gave up and left the housing estate and back on the main road I remembered the bridge cross the canal. I parked in a side street and went to investigate whether i could take photographs from the bridge. I could and there was spiral steps leading down to the canal! Walking down the spiral steps I began to feel my age. I used to spend all my time riding my racing cycle around these canals. I remember crossing the canal by riding over a 6 inch wide plank across the canal. Why did it seem so much more dangerous now? One slip and I would be in the drink! I took some photographs and stayed well away from the murky water.

    I went up on top of the bridge and took some of the road and then down at the canal. I found another reminder of the fact I’m no longer a teenager. I think it was vertigo! I go dizzy and weird look down through a camera lens! I saw the Metro (light rail) cross a bridge over the canal a couple of times but kept missing getting a picture. I was some way away and need to zoom in. I think the pylon holding the overhead power lines went right over it. the pylon was next to someone’s house, I would not like to live there in that magnetic field. You could get some free electricity though. A fluorescent light would light up on it’s own in a magnetic field that strong! Now that is frugal! I got some good shots. It is amazing looking at nature and I had a good view up that high. I could see the church miles away near my home. I took a picture of the town form up there focusing on the church; we have a page for the town on Facebook and so that picture and a few more I uploaded to that page.
    This should be a link to that page (if I did the HTML right!).

    Wednesbury

    I scanned some really old pictures and pages from a book from 1908 and uploaded those too.
    This is how you enrich your culture by noticing what is going on and appreciating it. Social networking is about sharing, even if it’s a common interest like playing Farmville! I shared photographs yesterday and contacted a writer who I may collaborate with, she is inspired by my digital artwork. I also helped a friend who isn’t well and she appreciated my photos and artwork.

    I’ve been on a few social networking sites this morning. I think it was five altogether! The Star Trek one had to move from being a Ning site and now doesn’t have many members. I was suppose to be a leading member when it was on Ning. I can’t see the point of discussing old TV series and films – I like to create. I made Star Trek a comedy, which it was originally meant to be, it used to be quite funny. I renamed Spock; Spott! The chief engineer I named Spotty instead of Scotty – so much more fun! I’ll have to think of something spectacular to breathe new life into the poor trekkies! I need to enrich and create a phenomenon and you can too, but get creative and add to this blog! You can start your own blog but this is a good place to practice and we may follow you when you start your own then!

    I’ll be back!

    Reply
23. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 14, 2010

    I have already written about enrichment and belief in another thread. I wrote a few pages of a murder mystery this morning. I have a question for everyone reading this thread. One friend who has read a lot of what I write including at least part of my novel said I didn’t learn to write I was born to write. He says a lot of nice things about my writing. He said my novel would make a good children’s’ story or if I added more sex a good script for a porno movie. I cut a lot of the more risqué stuff out on the re-write but it’s still quite risqué!

    Today’s news is that a father of 55 children has been arrested in France. This is a problem we have in the UK, not people having 55 kids, but people claiming to be British. The problem is we once had an empire and now those countries are part of the Commonwealth but the people if they can get into Britain can still vote in out elections and in some elections anyone who is a citizens of the European Union can vote. Confused? So are we! Be warned if you come to the UK from Australia, you must register to vote or risk a huge fine, even countries that have been suspended from the Commonwealth aren’t exempt; people from Pakistan still have to register.

    France has a similar problem and people from French governed African countries can claim French citizenship. So this guy in Africa registers himself or allows himself to be registered as the father to 55 children and according to the forms he fills out he has over 50 women and 55 children living with him in his two bedroom flat in Paris. It must get crowded! The authorities apparently believed this until recently. The mothers paid around $200 each for him to claim to be the father and this allows them to live in France, enjoy the romantic city of Paris and share the bathroom in his two bedroom apartment. I’m getting to the best bit…

    ‘Police suspect the man was involved in a social benefits scam which could have been costing the state over 1 million euros ($1.27 million) annually in claims by the mothers.’

    “At the moment 42 women have been identified and each claim that the man is the biological father of their child,” Paris police said in a statement.

    Hold on? That is $20,000 a year each for each ‘wife and child’; that is nearly $400 a week and he only charged $200 to be the father – cheap at twice the price. I know what you guys are thinking. You would father 50 kids for a $1,000 each but sharing a bathroom would be too much! I know I thought much the same thing! There are easier ways of making money, maybe not as enjoyable but easier…

    Returning to, “I have a question for everyone reading this thread,” I need some comments. I want to know what you think of my writing, we can get into to my art, photography and general expertise some other time. I just wondered what everyone thought of my writing because that is what I do most of the time and I’m relying on this talent to make my novel a best seller! Comments below, click my name to visit my website if you are at all unsure.

    I think I’ll check on Farmville now. I wonder if it’s stopped raining?

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 14, 2010

       Mike, this is a blast . . . and you definitely have a “gift.” I’m not saying that as part of the “experiment” you describe in your comment to Rich & Famous. However, I know you’ll be rich and famous if you keep Practicing Your Art. Now, though, we must “expose” you to the masses!

       Reply
24. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 15, 2010

    I’m getting into blogging again. Today’s news comes from France again…

    The headline says: Warning: This is not a Real baby! This comes courtesy of France 24:

    http://observers.france24.com/en/content/20100910-reborn-baby-dolls-realistic-babies-france-ireland-artists?ns_campaign=15092010_obsen&ns_mchannel=emailing&ns_source=fid&ns_linkname=poupees-reborn&ns_fee=0&ns_campaign=NL%20OBS%2015092010%20EN&ns_fee=fee&ns_linkname=img:poupees-reborn&ns_mail_job=1106007364&ns_mail_uid=1002681669063&ns_mchannel=email&ns_robot=partner-emailvision&ns_service=mail&ns_source=EMV

    That is a long URL; I hope it works!

    The news where I am is this guy won the lotto!
    
    ‘A couple spoke of their elation at sharing in a £2.6 million Lotto jackpot in the week they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

    Philip Sawyer and his wife Sandra, who are splitting the win with their two grown-up daughters, now plan to buy a house and a new BMW.

    Mr Sawyer, from Shard End, Birmingham, said he waited for an hour to wake his wife after realising his good fortune when he checked his ticket last Thursday.’

    I live about 10 miles from Birmingham, England; not Alabama.

    The guy checked his ticket the next morning and not wanting to wake his wife read a book…

    A comment from someone reading that story:
    
    ‘Who the fcuk reads a book after realising you won the jackpot, people are so strange makes you think do they realy need or deserve it.’

    That guy was obviously wearing underwear made by French Connection UK; it can be testicularly restricting… it causes mild dyslexia…

    One aspiring writer won a short story competition and the prize is an afternoon out at Beverley race course, here in England this afternoon. In the enclosure where the champagne flows. I told him about a horse called Tweenyshortkid that was at 110 – 1 when I told him; when he posted which course he was going to, I gave an update on the nag, it had drifted to 250 – 1; latest betting it’s now 320 -1 and if it wins and I don’t have money on it I may well become suicidal. It runs in 90 minutes. I’m losing my mind, it has a good jockey but it’s still a nag. I’m actually thinking of backing it! £2 at 320-1 would give me £640 in just over 90 minutes time. That would pay for my web space I need for years. It drifted to 380 -1! It is either a super nag or there is a fiddle going on and the thing is going to win! I’ll monitor the price for a while…

    I wonder what’s happening in Farmville land?

    These are the top ten money worries in the UK…

    1. I’m worried about my debts

    No worries, pay them all off. I don’t have any debts. Sorted.

    I’m worried about paying for the stuff I buy.

    Buy less stuff, it works out cheaper. Sorted.

    I’m worried about not saving for my children.

    Let the little buggers save for themselves and learn from experience I did! Sorted.

    I’m worried about the future.

    So am I! How will I deal with all those journalists and the paparazzi if I get any more famous? We always fear the unknown and imagine things to be worse than they are – don’t worry! Sorted.

    I’m worried about my bills.

    I sympathise with this one. I just had my credit card bill, the first one this year. I’m still waiting for the new credit card that they said they sent in May. Quick note to the CEO of Capital One bank in the UK – you’re a prat and your bank is bloody useless – send my credit card! Where was I? My bill says I owe £0.00 and if I don’t pay it nasty things will happen. The details of the nasty things are contained in the small print leaflet enclosed. Solution: Get magnifying glass to read small print then in a fit of apathy throw leaflet in bin and forget it. Sorted.

    I’m worried someone will steal my identity.

    You’re worried? Have you seen how many Mike Maynard’s there are on Facebook? I’m playing Farmville against one of them. I wonder if my blueberries are ready to harvest? Solution: Put all your debts in their name if they do steal your identity. Sorted.

    I worry how I’ll cope when I’m older.

    You’re worried? 🙂 I am older and getting really bloody worried! Medical science can now extend life expectancy well past 100 if you don’t smoke, drink, have sex or in any way enjoy yourself. If it doesn’t work it will seem like you lived way past 100! Sorted.

    I’m worried I’m paying too much for my mortgage.

    Rent somewhere smaller, you’ll be glad you did when you get to 100 and someone has stolen your identity. Sorted.

    I’m worried I can’t afford Christmas.

    You still celebrate Christmas, how quaint. There is a book by Dickens, A Christmas carol, read it pay attention to that Scrooge character; you can learn a lot from him! Sorted.

    I’m worried about my children if I die.

    I sympathise with this one, I don’t have any children and I worry about your children if I die. What sort of future will they have to look forward to after I depart this world. No one to brighten their day, no one to counsel them when they have problems, no one to be their mentor, no one to be their role model. You should contribute to my health care financially so I get to live longer, well past 100 and long enough to contribute something and have my identity stolen. Whoever steals my identity can carry on my legacy after I’m gone and pay those bloody bills, read the small print (I left a magnifying glass) and email the CEO of Capital One Bank in the UK and remind him he is a prat – assuming he doesn’t snuff it before me – he probably will. Chief Executive officers die from heart attacks shortly after retiring, people like me win the lottery.

    Bloody hell it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry. Farmville will have to wait.

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 16, 2010

       Always glad to have you[r] back
       🙂
       1 – the long URL works: very cool story

       2 – From your lottery story above, I now know where you got one of the cool parts of comment #217 on blog post one. BTW, the best Lottery Ticket story is by Chekkov: http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/lottery.html

       3 – You have to read the previous Big British Worries to understand this piece of advice from Mike: I’m worried I’m paying too much for my mortgage.

       Rent somewhere smaller, you’ll be glad you did when you get to 100 and someone has stolen your identity. Sorted.

       Hope you beat the other Mike on Farmville . . . or do you even compete on Farmville . . . or do you simply milk cows.

       Hey, Mike, I bet you could play a game of Farmville for us in one of your posts: -)

       Reply
25. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 16, 2010

    I’m not sure what to write about. I have just made a cup of tea to warm my fingers so I can type. The icy Arctic winds are making it really cold.

    Did I mention I finished my novel? I had a quick look through it. I may edit a little more there appears to be spaces where there shouldn’t be spaces. A minor problem but I want perfection. I need to take out a couple of blank pages at the end too.

    This is a video I just watched about Primopdf.

    http://cnettv.cnet.com/?type=externalVideoId&value=6867550

    You can make two PDF’s with PrimoPDF – one is your manuscript and the other your book cover and then take them into a store with an Expresso printing machine and in minutes they will print you a copy of your novel! I just thought of another edit for my novel, most important! I must type the words: First Edition on the introduction! First editions are collectable.

    This is an interesting but of news:

    The Corn Refiners Association has petitioned the U.S. Food and Drug Administration asking that manufacturers have the option of using “corn sugar” as an alternate name for high fructose corn syrup.

    Fructose is normally called ‘fruit sugar’ but is found in corn and vegetables like potatoes. It is an important sugar because it is used by the body in good ways and bad ways. It can make cancer cells reproduce more rapidly. That is bad! It is however essential for the proper working of our nervous systems. I shall look that up later. Fructose is converted into something in the blood and has an affect on serotonin re-uptake. I can’t remember what the mechanism is but it will be on the net somewhere!

    Back to something I do know about Facebook and Farmville! I’m making wine in Farmville and fruit wines in particular. I’m on level 86, if you think it’s a silly game – try beating me! The idea is simple, plough land, plant crops and harvest! It is a little harder to decide what crop to plant and now we have co-op farming and the farmer’s market. I produce wine, what else? Overnight I planted white grapes, they give a net profit of 100 coins per plot and i have 600 plots and so I can make 60,000 coins in 12 hours. It is about the return on investment and the amount of time it takes to make that return. Peas give 191 coins return less 15 coins for ploughing making a net ROI of 176 times 600 plots over 24 hours; but you can’t make wine out of them! I need to make raspberries for fruit wine, Blackberries for Blackberry wine and Strawberries for fruit wine. I’m growing an equal number of each. These are low profit but fast growing. The raspberries will only make a 5 coins ROI so net ROI on 600 plots is 3,000 coins in just 2 hours. It takes time to play and you can cut down that time by using fuel, you get fuel by exchanging wine you have made for fuel. You need to employ time management and fuel management techniques to win. Still think it’s easy?

    I must get on! My raspberries are 87% grown!

    In the news this week the headline, Drive from sea to sea but don’t stop to pee.

    You can read the full article here:

    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE68D2WJ20100914?feedType=nl&feedName=usoddlyenough

    From Ireland comes this news: As money ran out the National Roads Authority (NRA) had to scrap plans to build service stations in most places. It is now putting up signs warning of no “online” services ahead and pointing motorists toward petrol stations in nearby towns.

    “It’s as important to let people know what’s there as what is not there,” a spokesman for the NRA told the Irish Independent newspaper.

    You you want to drive the 155 miles from Dublin to Cork there will be no toilets or other services but there will be signs telling you there are no toilets. I will give anyone reading this from Ireland even better advice. Do not have a curry the night before driving from Dublin to Cork, suffering Delhi belly for a 155 miles is no fun.

    I had an email from Australia this morning, they have a sense of humour. American emails the Australian tourist board. “Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?”
    Tourist board reply: “Only at Christmas”.

    Back to my email which reads:
    
    Lubricant

    Murphy’s’ wife had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.
    He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
    She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. ‘Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,!

    ‘Ain’t dat grand, !!’ Murphy got excited by this,
    but just then the doctor spoke up and said, ‘Hold on! We ain’t finished yet, !’

    The doctor then delivered a little girl.
    He said, ‘Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, !!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too….’

    Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, ‘Hold on, we aint got done yet, !’
    The doctor then delivered another boy and said, ‘Murph, you just had yourself another boy, !’

    Murphy said to the doctor, ‘Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?’
    The doctor said, ‘You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.’
    Murphy said, ‘Ah yeah, during conception.’

    When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,
    ‘Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.’

    She said, ‘Yeah, I remember dat night…’

    Murph said, ‘I’ll tell you, ….it’s a feckin’ good ting we didn’t use WD-40.

    🙂

    My friend in China wants to chat to me…

    I’ll be back… 🙂

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 16, 2010

       I don’t know if you do this in Britain, but lots of times Americans will get together and chat . . . and then say something like “We’ve just solved the problems of the world.”

       well, Mike, I’m convinced that if everyone here [i.e., stateside] got up in the morning and read Mike Maynard, then our improved senses of humor . . . not to mention World Knowledge and World-View would, indeed, Solve The Problems of the World.

       Let’s toast to Fame, Fortune, and World Peace!
       I’ll be back, definitely.
       And . . . what about that for a title — I’ll Be Back!

       Reply
26. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 17, 2010

    My hands have thawed a little, I discovered that washing up in warm water is very good for hands that have become numb from the cold!

    I took my friend to the bus stop earlier to go to college for his teacher training. He has strange ideas. He thinks people like me and Shari are presumptuous! Shari asks people to drive her and I have someone doing my shopping this morning. A little later I shall have my sister giving me a hair cut.

    Why can we be presumptuous? it is because we do things for other people, we enrich their lives and so when we need something we aren’t afraid to ask for help or accept help when it’s offered.

    Author M. J. Webb needed a website and so asked all his friends for help. He had the domain and web space. I asked for the log in details and got on with it. I’m not an expert but after a couple of months of working on his website I’m more of an expert than I was! I’ve been very ill and my garden is a mess and so when he visited me he offered to mow the lawn. Would it be presumptuous to say yes? He mowed my lawn! He can now ask for more help and I gave him detailed instructions in an email so he could log in to his website himself using Dreamweaver. His first attempt was a failure but I had an email today and he is really pleased – he connected to the server! He has even bought a new laptop and although he previously described himself as a technophobe; he is now editing his own website. This is called enrichment, giving people the self esteem to have a go at something new and he knows if he makes a mistake, no one will criticize and I’ll fix the mistake.

    Shari is now a legend in her own lunchtime because she was presumptuous enough to ask her friends for help and why not? My friend in China thinks she is great when I told her about this blog.

    I was sent a Powerpoint slide show this morning reminding me of 9/11 and the horrific events of that day. I watched it in England live on TV. You may not like what I thought as I watched it. I saw the twin towers first of all and it reminded me of something my Chinese friend had said. I suggested she send a friend a text in English because English is his major at University. She said no, she couldn’t do that — it would be ‘showing off.’ I looked at the twin powers towering above all the other buildings and I thought that was America ‘showing off’ and people got jealous. A little later I saw the skyline of a Chinese city in a video and I thought that the Chinese are ‘showing off’ too.

    I don’t want to be that famous that I go on television or get photographed by the paparazzi that would be ‘showing off’; it is enough just for my name to be known and people read the things I write. As long as you know who I am and enjoy reading what I write, that is enough for me.

    In that video I watched George Soros mentioned that no investment is ‘safe’ in these troubled times and the recent hike in the gold price will probably be followed by a trough. That is the way economics work, it ain’t rocket science; it’s just peaks and troughs. Peaks and troughs apply to FOREX (foreign exchange), equities, property and commodities like gold. One investor has a ‘system’ he makes graphs and on the troughs he buys and on the peaks he sells. It sounds simple enough and if you call it right and have experience it will work; not 100%, but most of the time. What goes up, usually comes down… and back up again…

    I began writing my new website yesterday now I have finally finished editing my novel. My window cleaner said he wanted to buy a copy this morning! It should sell well locally, we have a sense of humour and eventually even people who can be a little humourless and dour like the Japanese will buy a translated version. I need to change some colours on my website> The links are blue on a black background. I’ll change them to yellow or better still gold and put links at the bottom of the page; the usual stuff at the bottom. T&C’s and the boring stuff. I have to add a link somewhere to WordPress blogs like this one. I too can be a legend in my own lunchtime one day, just like Shari! I shall be setting my goals soon for 2011 and that will be one of them.

    I’ll freak you out now. This is the short synopsis of the next novel I will be starting, a psychological thriller based on the Stockholm syndrome where the prisoners get to like, even ‘love’ their captors. This is common in a abusive relationships and so I hope to make this story informative, entertaining and substitute funny with scary! The synopsis:
    
    Synopsis of a psychological thriller.

    Becky plans a night out with her friends as usual and puts on her sexy new underwear, low cut top and short skirt and the guys notice! At the club they are all chatting her up and buying her drinks and she has a little too much to drink. Rachel her friend drives them home and when Allie gets out of the car so does Becky.

    “Get back in Becky,” Rachel pleads.

    “I’ll be fine, I only live around the corner,” Becky replies and walks away, “Goodnight…”

    That was the last they saw of Becky and Becky remembered nothing of what came next. She woke up with her wrists hurting, she looked up to find shackles around her wrists and when she looked down there were shackles around her ankles too. She looked around at the room, it was empty except for an armchair in front of her and a table next to the armchair. The room was dark and scary with bare brick walls and a single light with no shade in the centre. It looked like it may be a cellar or something; there were no windows just one door. ‘Where the fecking hell was she?’

    That will teach her…

    I am expecting my ‘hair raid’ to begin any time soon. I put my sister’s photo on her website, I hope she isn’t too upset or she will go scissor happy and I’ll get funny looks in the fish and chips shop later with my hair looking like it’s been butchered. We will discuss her website and I’ll ask what she wants on it, I redesigned it yesterday. I’ve had a busy week really, editing, blogging, working on 4 websites, shopping, photography and the more mundane stuff like cooking, laundry and playing Farmville.

    My sister is on her way, her phone isn’t working and so I have to report it for her. I have the certificate in telecommunications and so when they start with the “have you checked” questions. I will say yes all the internal stuff has been checked by a technician the fault is in the usual place at the top of a pole outside because it was wet and windy again – fix it! I have a way with words when it comes to technical things…

    Tune in at the weekend. The lottery jackpot is a few million on Saturday night. I shall dream like Chekhov in the meantime… Photography on Sunday if the risk of hypothermia diminishes before then…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 17, 2010

       Starting my Morning with Mike reminds me of the joyful place I was in as a kid reading the comic strips and playing “riding imaginary horses” with my sister: and I continue to contend that if more of us began the day in Better Humor [or Humour] [especially everyone in leadership posts anywhere], then we will discover the “secret” to World Peace, Inner Peace, and solutions to all of our problems.

       You go Mike, i.e., “come back”
       🙂

       BTW, when you read Mike’s latest blog-within-my-blog, not only will you read the synopsis of his latest psychological thriller and how not to be seen as a “show-off,” but you’ll feel what it’s like to be reading a Great Writer. Mike talks about things that are Interesting and Important.

       Reply
27. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 18, 2010

    I like this. In the news is a ‘pay up or the puppies get it’ story!

    Russian bailiffs have threatened to take what is most precious from a Russian pensioner who has failed to pay a debt — her three Shar Pei pedigree puppies, they said Friday. Full story:

    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE68G2V420100917?feedType=nl&feedName=usoddlyenough

    From Los Angeles comes this headline:

    Will you take this bride, in sickness and with surgery?
    Twelve brides will have plastic surgery and when the groom lifts the veil he sees the result at the altar; only in LA… Full story:
    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE68G2UV20100917?feedType=nl&feedName=usoddlyenough

    This news came from Greece, they thought they were fake. It’s an easy mistake to make! You expect everything to be fake when you’re on holiday – next time, buy a bloody Rolex…
    Greek police charged two U.S. tourists with desecrating the dead on Thursday after they found six human skulls in their hand luggage at Athens international airport, a police official said.
    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE68F4PG20100916?feedType=nl&feedName=usoddlyenough

    My phone call on Friday didn’t go as planned. I phoned the company on their usual number and went through the voice mail menus and it asked for a cell phone number; I gave my sister’s; it was her phone out of order. I then got a message that they were checking my line! If my line was out of order, I wouldn’t be phoning them on it! I then got all their numbers off the internet and phoned the appropriate one and listened to the voice menus again, I got a message that my line hadn’t been checked yet! I tried again and this time didn’t press any buttons, that confused the computer and I got put through to Ranjit’s cousin in Bangalore – yet again. He found it difficult to understand the concept that I knew what was wrong with the phone. I was a bloody telecommunications technician, check the line and send someone out to fix the connections at the top of the pole outside the house – the wind and rain did it again! I think he probably said ‘stroppy git’ when he put me on hold, probably in Punjabi. I got my own way, I think; he eventually hung up on me.

    Last night of the Proms from the Royal Albert Hall this year was rubbish again, I’m listening to a version of it from Scotland. I think this is some kind of Scottish sequel. There was a guy on who could play the guitar not long ago and then an opera singer; oh God – she is at it again… She has a definite medical problem.

    People wonder why I do mindless things like play Farmville? This is supposed to be high class television. You can watch the Last Night of the Proms on Youtube. Watch the 2008 one; it’s been rubbish since. Kay Adams just introduced ‘more music from the high seas’ but didn’t say what! It is a bad rendition of the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean by Hans Zimmer; a definite improvement though.

    That reminds me on Facebook there was a link to a new website, I don’t think it’s up and running yet; but rather than review novels they allow writers to post page 99 of their novel to read. That had writers’ scurrying off to read page 99 of their novels to see if they were any good.

    You know what comes next, yes! Page 99 of my novel! I would not disappoint you; you can have a preview before the website is up and running. I already uploaded it to Facebook. The novel is Captain Jack: A Ship’s log. It is a comedy adventure about a guy who gets the sack from his job just before Christmas and on New year’s day buys a ‘ship’ he has seen for sale on the internet; it turns out to be a condemned trawler. Is he deterred? No, he turns it into a reproduction pirate ship and sails off on an adventure to find fame and fortune of course.

    Page 99:
    While they went to the jungle and pool taking photographs for the Matey of the Month, Chuck, Hans and Yvette came with me to the ship to fetch more supplies and to take a look at our treasure map. We have concluded now that it is painted canvas that was probably from an old sail. We all studied it but we didn’t learn very much. One symbol appeared to mean we should sail and I presumed to the island where the treasure is buried.
    But how would they know where the island was? We had a satellite system and a computer to help and so I concluded that a lot of the other information in the code told the pirates of old where the island was.

    With our minds filled with mystery we returned from the ship with supplies to last us a couple of days. When the others returned from the jungle we had lunch prepared and it was a sort of salad with canned vegetables. I quite liked the ham from a can, but it wasn’t to everyone’s taste. We lazed around after lunch enjoying the sun and Kate took the odd photograph. I had a snooze under the shade of a tree and woke to find Mark had made up the fire and fired up the barbecue for another moonlit feast. We decided on baked potatoes cooked on the barbecue with sausages. I am so glad I stocked up on sausages! I just wish we had bought more onions to go with them. The sausages and baked potatoes went down well and it was followed up as usual with canned fruit. Pandora of course squawked, “Tangaweens, Tangaweens, Tangaweens,” when she spotted the fruit and I fed her a few segments from a can after she had eaten her main course of sunflower seeds.

    The moonlight and the flames of the fire set a magical scene again. The moon was low on the horizon and made the sea shimmer with yellows and reds. I took Pandora and her cage to the shack and Yvette walked along with us; saying goodnight to the others as we departed. This episode of our adventure had a special beauty. Goodnight Pandora…

    I woke early on Sunday looking forward to my usual Sunday morning traditional English breakfast. I soon had a fry up going for breakfast. With the water shortage we all took to swimming in the sea and then a quick shower to rinse off the salt water.
    
    Kate seemed to take command after breakfast wanting to take her photographs and took lots more of Bianca and Daniela. Then it was Yvette’s turn and Kate seemed to be in a hurry suddenly. Distracted by the photography I didn’t notice Mick fishing and Chuck was after giant lobsters again.

    All became clear at lunch time when we had fresh fish and lobster cooked on the barbecue for lunch. The mystery of the photographic rush became clear too. Kate said if we were leaving in search of our newly discovered treasure island then she wanted the shots for the May, Matey of the Month finished and besides she only had a few days to send them in. She also wanted to get the pictures for June ready or at least enough pictures for a spread. I tended to agree. I was getting restless and my sea legs were itching to sail in search of treasure. Even Pandora seemed keen and squawked, “Whess the Tweshass, Whess the Tweshass, Whess the Tweshass” on hearing just the mention of the word treasure!

    I should mention that Pandora the parrot has trouble saying Ar, not very good for a pirate! You want to read the novel now, don’t you?

    A long time ago there was a journalist who wrote serious pieces about the news but a very funny weekly column every Saturday night. That is what I want to do. I may make that one of my goals for 2011 to find a newspaper or magazine that wants a funny weekly column. If they buy the copyright from me ever week for a year; I can claim it as a capital gain under our tax laws. I need them to pay me around $15,000 or better still just buy me a new Vauxhall Vectra, the new one with the ‘lifetime’ warranty that lasts 100,000 miles. In metallic baby blue just like the one I have now. With a CD player that will play MP3’s. Machine guns hidden behind the grill like in the Bond movies would be nice but I’m not too fussy…

    That didn’t take long…

    The sun is shining in England, the skies are blue and it’s 5C and my fingers are slightly numb… It is Saturday morning though and today I do the mundane stuff like work out how the vacuum cleaner works again.

    This blog in blog has been checked and found to be 99% dyelxsia free…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 18, 2010

       I can taste the “salt water” and that’s the test of a Great Page 99.

       Of course, one day you will do a completely separate Pandora the Parrot for our kids/grandkids, right?

       Reply
28. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 19, 2010

    I write some little pearls, I ended yesterday with This blog in blog has been checked and found to be 99% dyelxsia free… Some of the others include the sentence that started This is a well known secret…

    I did my friend assignment about sleep and wrote that clever people dream and stupid people don’t. My comment I know a lot of people that don’t dream.

    My latest little pearl was My friend is coming later – the one that doesn’t dream… 🙂

    I must get on with this I need to have lunch before he arrives, he is always hungry and I don’t want to end up cooking his lunch too.

    This morning this news came out of Columbia:

    A parrot in the Colombian city of Barranquilla has become a jail-bird after it was seized during a police drugs raid.

    The parro’ts name was Lorenzo. I love this story. I have a vision of a green Columbian parrot squawking, “Run, run you are going to get caught, Run, run you are going to get caught, Run, run you are going to get caught. ”

    Police colonel Freddy Veloza told reporters: “He spent the whole morning saying that”.

    Despite Lorenzo’s attempts, Veloza’s officers still managed to seize more than two-hundred weapons, a stolen motorcycle and a large quantity of marijuana.

    Full story: http://news.uk.msn.com/world/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=154699050&ocid=today

    If it had been Pandora, she would have squawked, “”Wun, wun you are going to get caught, Wun, wun you are going to get caught, Wun, wun you are going to get caught. ”

    She is still on her world tour. I think she leaves Chile for India soon on Captain Jack’s pirate ship…

    One of my friend published her novel this weekend as an EBook, she didn’t tell me; I saw the post on Facebook. Her family thinks it’s good. It has to be an improvement on what it was like a few months ago. She said she isn’t up to my standard and never will be. If you think you aren’t good enough, practice, write, proofread, practice makes perfect… Except in the case of writing when it’s never perfect, you strive to constantly improve. It you think you’re good because you read that book on how to write and know what a protagonist is – you need more practice. Aspiring writers use the word protagonist a lot; perspiring writers like me who sweat blood; pick their grey hairs out and would dye for their writing knowing we have to keep on trying. That was my second attempt on that pun on dye! 🙂 I got it right that time! 🙂 You have to see your mistakes and keep on trying and arrogance is destructive for a writer. You need modesty and patience; not too much modesty though – we have to strive to become infamous too!

    My friend Simon wants to do something with computers, go out and take photographs, wash and polish the cars and has little chance of doing all that. He also mentioned doing my garden, probably because I said I would pay him for that. He has a plan to go camping, when I mentioned the icy north winds he said he would take an electric blanket? I suppose modern camp sites have electricity? It sounds risky using an electric blanket in a tent with 230 volts going through it… He also mentioned going to see some woman who I think he hopes to persuade to go with him. I bet she doesn’t dream either…

    Reply
29. 

    sharisax

    September 19, 2010

    This Dream Theme is getting to me. The other night I made the mistake of reading ahead in my English students’ textbook Instant Vocabulary. My dreams were all about teaching words to people who already knew everything . . . and I wondered why I kept trying.

    So I’m not reading that book before sleep anymore. Instead, I’m trying to finish my 3rd Malcolm Gladwell book The Tipping Point, which was actually his first. When I told people I’d be spending lots of time on public transportation, someone suggested Gladwell’s third book Outliers. I actually read that second. His book Blink was in the library, so I started with that one first. All three are marvelous. Gladwell knows how to write. So anyone who wants to become a writer should start with William Zinsser’s , then move on to Gladwell, and then I think they’ll be ready for you and me.

    Reply
30. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 19, 2010

    It’s Monday tomorrow and I did a little counselling online today; that is confidential so I won’t write about that. I may have to steal your subject and write about sex; after stumbling on a porn site while trying to find a picture of someone asleep. We did the garden this afternoon, my friend on the strimmer and me on the secateurs trimming back anything that didn’t move. I’ll save the funny garden story for tomorrow too. I did loads of correspondence courses on how to type and how to write in the 70’s (free from the library) and there was a book on letter writing by an American author named Tack; he coined the phrase ‘bright eyed and bushy tailed’ for how we are about to start the day. Unless of course he stole the phrase from someone else too! He taught me to grab their attention in the first paragraph, usually with the word sex …

    Reply
31. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 20, 2010

    I don’t have a clue what to write today, but I already wrote some words of wisdom about children in the other thread. I just watched this video and considered entering the competition to produce something similar; but a video I can do – music is harder.

    http://mishmash.gettyimages.com/archive/4BM0JP

    I usually write this in the morning, I’m 4 hours late today. I spent time writing about children and the way they are abused. I want to write the psychological thriller so people who are abused may recognise themselves in it or at least the syndrome.

    Another writer who I have helped was published over the weekend. My friend said I sounded jealous when talked about it yesterday; I am not! I suggested the publisher. I read the preview and she has taken some of my advice and it’s passable. I think as a comedy I would have put some humour into the preview; but I have read it a few times before, so it may seem funnier to other people.

    I spent the weekend giving out advice I think. That and trying to keep warm, the weather forecast says warmer today, the sun did start shining and it seems a little warmer.

    That poor woman in Russia is still in the news, the bailiffs still have her puppies.

    I just read this:

    Social media helps extend live-worthy programming beyond sports, news and weather – stemming the time-shifting tide by making live viewing a richer experience than time-shifted.

    The rest of the article was garbage too, you would think the president of an international company would have the sense to hire a writer. 🙂

    I was showing my friend time shifting yesterday; he said something about missing the first few seconds of the James Bond movie and I said we can just time-shift back to the beginning. I wish they wouldn’t show half the film before the opening titles. I like time-shifting for Formula One, if something exciting happens you can do your own action replay! If it gets boring you can send them around the track at a 1,000 miles an hour and speed things up!

    I have just had an email asking if I would like to download medical articles in PDF for just $31.50; one is about flexible sigmoidoscopy in the prevention or detection of bowel cancer; they know what they can do with that…

    Also in the news:

    LONDON – Ian McCafferty, chief economic adviser at the Confederation of British Industry, has told Market News International that he thinks that the Bank of England should take action if the UK economy proves to be weaker than many analysts are currently forecasting.

    Yeah, print more money, cheap money has stuffed savers and made banks rich – keep it up. If industry can borrow cheap rather than raising equity properly they can make massive profits (on paper). It can then eventually give all that quantitatively eased money back to the government in taxes; eventually…

    Another email, from my phone and broadband supplier; they want me to do a survey – entitled ‘how did we do?’ 🙂 Do they really want to know? Do they really want me to tell them what I think of their voice mail system? Of their call centre in Bangalore? How Ranjit’s cousin is not understandin’ what happens in the UK? 🙂

    My other email was a post on Facebook, we have interest in Chinese astrology, fame at last…

    Then a post encouraging me to publish my novel as a EBook, I have only just done the cover, what about the back and the spine. I’m spineless, I’ll wait until I have tried my charm and magic on traditional publishers; people may even read it then. I am under no illusions, I am not yet famous enough and I need a new website.

    I wonder if I’m getting too ambitious? My friend only had 1 Gb of space on a Windows server and I have my eye on 150Gb on a Linux server, with 50 sub domains, 100 email accounts, room to host 3 websites, 10 mysql databases (whatever they are) and comes with WordPress, forum software, templates, and a load of open source software. I can even have a shopping cart! I could sell books or something? I manage to get a 1,000 people a month visit my website I did with 15 Mb of space so I should do better with 150 Gb! That is massive! I could upload my videos to that! My friend doesn’t realise I have researched this for a few years and I can afford to give my friends sub domains for free but it requires a good name.

    Any suggestions for a good name for a creative website? My friend is online I promised to write a beginning for a murder mystery for her, I forgot. I’ll get my brain into murder mystery mode…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 20, 2010

       Mike, here are a few of my first thoughts on this morning’s post:
       1) My brother Chuck will be pleased that his words resonated with you. Chuck has taken on the role of peacemaker in various sibling rivalries, and at times he has been successful . . . which, of course means, sometimes not.
       2) One of my present day roles is teaching English writing/reading courses to community college students. Today’s post is a wonderful example of brainstorming and drafting that can lead to several marvelous targeted essays, i.e., with your permission, I would take this draft and give it to my students so they could pick out various themes [topic sentences] and then write short essays using your examples. What do you think? Tell me if my idea confused you.
       3) Confusion is actually OK, or so I tell my students. My teaching philosophy says that everything starts with Confusion. If we are in a new situation, and we are not confused, then perhaps we don’t belong there. Next step is to SILENCE the confusion, so you can FOCUS on the task at hand and finally put forth EFFORT. I go into much more detail about these steps in other places.
       4) I’m still waiting for Someone Out There [besides you 🙂 ] to ask me about the secret to better sex with a long time partner.

       See you “on the other side” i.e., Your Blog-Within-My-Blog

       Reply
    2. 

       sharisax

       September 20, 2010

       Mike, I’m going to study both of today’s posts in more detail, but for the moment, I’d like to suggest that you contact my friend James Hilton, whom I met when I asked a question on LinkedIn — EXACTLY the way you and I met.
       Anyway, why not look James up http://au.linkedin.com/in/pyjammez/ . . . say HI and chat with him about your Website ideas. He lives in Australia and his designing a Web Calendar project. His sense of humor is similar to yours, but his expertise may be much more on the engineering side of Online Projects, rather than the writing side. I wish we could find a way to get James to join our conversation. Maybe I’ll ask him. But check him out.

       Reply
32. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 21, 2010

    This morning the news on this side of the pond is about the 15-year-old girl whose address was posted on Facebook with an invitation to a party to celebrate her 15th birthday. 21,000 people confirmed they would be attending. It has been cancelled and the only people attending will be the local police and they will do security in case anyone of turns up hoping for a free drink and a sandwich…

    I will now post Shari’s phone number on Facebook and invite everyone to her Big Bash. We can beat 21,000 easily; anyone know the number for the Guinness book of records?

    I looked at my page on Facebook, it is weird. I have sci fi enthusiasts commenting, writers, local people with our unique sense of humour. My nephew complaining about the dark mornings and wanting to stay in bed.

    A lady in Florida used to live just around the corner from me and recognised the little avenue I live in from one of my photographs. I posted a note to tell her I have just been talking to one of her Uncle’s old girl friends. She wanted me to go and say hello to her mum Doris… I’ll pass, she’ll be even more senile than me. I just read a post on Facebook that said someone remembers buying chips for 3d (that’s pre decimal money). I have just done some mental arithmetic and chips now cost 108 times more than they did in those days. Chip inflation of 10,800% – I blame Margaret Thatcher…

    We had some interest in Chinese horoscopes and I had an interesting chat to my friend in China yesterday. He told me all about the Buddhist monk who told her to listen carefully to avoid bad luck, she didn’t listen carefully and a had run of bad luck. According to the I Ching (the book of changes) these phases only last a two or three months and the first month is the worst and so the worst is nearly over with. Things should be better by next week. I shall have to make sure they are just in case… I may be 8,000 miles away but I have influence! he sent me photographs of the highest mountain in the world and the underground palace where all those terracotta soldiers are. People are competitive, I have an image in my mind of some American in Arizona dumping rocks on top of a mountain now, trying to make it higher so they can claim to have the highest mountain. There was a film about a surveyor who checked the height of a mountain and said it was a hill; the local people made it higher so it was a mountain again!

    Have I mentioned the frogs?

    We were gardening on Sunday and my friend said there were lots of frogs; there was too! They were about an inch long and hopping mad at being disturbed. It seems they are in lots of gardens, according to Pam’s uncle’s ex-girlfriend.

    This is what one of my latest emails says:

    Attend the Millionaire Traders Secrets Seminar and receive a copy of the Millionaire Trading Secrets 2010 Report- just for attending…
    

    I’ll pass, the paparazzi would follow me down the chip shop taking photos all the time if I was a millionaire. Did I mention the price of chips went up? I blame Margaret Thatcher…

    My next email:

    Have you ever considered a career as a private financial trader?

    Did you know many private financial traders take home £100k to £2m per annum, with some traders starting with less than £10k in their trading accounts?

    I could get rich doing that, but what about the paparazzi? Did I mention the price of chips went up?

    If you’re rich there is also temptation. I can resist anything but temptation. Paris Hilton could be tempting if I was younger…

    Paris Hilton pleaded guilty on Monday to cocaine possession and was fined $2,000 by a Las Vegas judge and ordered to complete 200 hours of community service.

    I prefer Pepsi to Coke and I’m not that keen on that…

    More news…

    Cyber-bullying may be even harder on the victims than physical beatings or name-calling, U.S. researchers reported on Tuesday.

    And unlike traditional bullies, cyber-bullies seem to be less depressed than their prey, the team at the National Institutes of Health found.

    Jing Wang, Tonja Nansel and Ronald Iannotti of the NIH’s National Institute of Child Health and Human Development analyzed data from an international survey from 2005/2006 that included 4,500 U.S. preteens and teens.

    According to Jing Wang, Tonja Nansel and Ronald Iannotti there is a lot of name calling and stuff on the Internet – you couldn’t make this stuff up! 🙂

    While my mind is in the gutter and thinking about sexting.. Will someone ask Shari about improving their sex lives in a long term relationship? I can’t do it, I’m single and a long term relationship to me is anything that lasts over a week.

    More news:

    Despite decades of research, there are no drugs that can arrest the steady march of Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia, a condition that costs $604 billion worldwide to treat.

    This is scary. With an ageing world population it will get worse. There are two news stories about this today. Why is this hot news? Yes, you guessed it! A drug company has got a drug to fix it and us and it’s expensive… Monoclonal antibodies don’t make themselves you know… I’ll go senile, I’m past caring…

    More bad news, they stopped making the new car I wanted, I’ll have to settle for a more expensive substitute. I really need that weekly column writing stuff like this for an international magazine or newspaper now!

    I was going to check the news from Belgium, that usually good for a laugh, but it’s twelve noon and I’m hungry and my fingers are cold. The weather forecast is for 20C this afternoon, it was supposed to be 8C this morning. If they left the clocks alone instead of this silly attempt to ‘save daylight’ I would be getting up an hour later and it would be warmer. I’ll have to alter all the clocks and timers again soon – bureaucrats and politicians; they are all nuts. You cannot save daylight, I shall keep writing about this until I convince world leaders that YOU CANNOT SAVE DAYLIGHT!

    I’ll cook lunch…

    I’ll be …

    The phone rang – another hospital appointment, another specialist. I have three now or is it four? The appointment isn’t until 5:30 tomorrow I can do my blog in a blog. I shall have something to write about on Thursday! I’ll pay attention at the hospital, take my camera – get inspired… I hope the rush hour is over…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 21, 2010

       :-)))))))))
       That doesn’t say it all, but it’s a good start!
       BTW, I was practicing for my Big Bash last night. We’ve got a networking group started by an enterprising fellow David Kitain, who’s an entrepreneur in Marin County. He started a group for like-minded “neighbors” and now there are almost 1600 of us. About 100 showed up last night for a Speed Networking event. A good time was had by all, as “they” say [but shouldn’t because it is so cliche!]. My guess is that that everyone who was single when they came left single, but I did hear that many great business contacts were made.

       My Big Bash won’t be business-oriented and some singles certainly ought to be able to leave un-singled, at least for the short term. YUP, still no inquiries. But perhaps when the ten or so people who promised me comments here do get around to reading some of this, maybe they’ll ask the Big Question.

       I was very interested in the Not Listening Carefully story and the Bad Luck it brings — especially because I continually tell my students that the FIRST lesson to Business Success . . . and success in everything is to Listen Carefully. Which reminds me that “listening carefully” involves the Eyes as well as the Ears, right?

       BTW, what kind of car did they stop making that you want? How much money does your “paid” weekly international column need to generate to buy the car, but not make you rich enough to be followed by the paparazzi? [Remember, all we have to do is intend. I suspect, then, I’m not intending at all on getting people to ask me for the secret to better sex with a long term partner, but that just proves that I can keep secrets.]

       Good luck at the doctor’s. We want the full report tomorrow.

       Reply
33. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 22, 2010

    I’ll start with my problem which has to do with listening carefully. Listening isn’t enough, you have to watch body language and listen for certain keywords. I was sent a photograph some time ago attached to an email. I read the email and looked at the photo, I looked at the background of the photo; I zoomed in and looked at what was outside the window in the photo. The person who sent the email was lying in the email, I learnt that by careful study of the photo. I now have to explain to a few people that are are at risk and need to pay attention to body language and keywords. they are young and inexperienced. I read my first book on the subject of psychology over 45 years ago and kept on studying it; it won’t be easy to teach this stuff – but I have to try.

    In the news…

    David and Victoria Beckham’s son Romeo has designed sunglasses and all the celebrity kids are expected to buy them. One tried them and thought they were too dark. She commented – O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

    I couldn’t write that for laughing…

    Why I play Farmville…

    I planted grapes in Farmville last night, they take 12 hours to grow. You have to know the return on Investment when you sow a plough and sow a crop. The ROI on white grapes is 100 coins per plot. I planted around 400 plots – so the ROI was about 40,000 coins. I also planted other things that would take round 12 hours to grow. If I had planted raspberries, they would have withered by the morning – they only have an ROI of 5 coins per plot and take 2 hours to grow.

    This is about improving business skills. It is also about time management. I have to choose to harvest manually which takes time or use fuel and use a harvester. I harvested using the harvester and planted most of the farm or vineyard with more white grapes but there is also rice growing for Saki and in 4 hours the strawberries for fruit wine will be grown. The grapes and rice needed to be done early around 9am then the 12 hours will be up when I go to bed. If the TV is boring – I harvest or do it after the TV finishes or in the commercials. I also made the wine and bought goods from my friends this morning; they will be exchanged for fuel. I need 1,000,000 coins to upgrade the winery and an extra 100,000 coins as working capital.

    It is also about winning. My friend Rob introduced me to this; he went to agricultural college. I passed him after a week and he is now on level 31 and I’m up on level 87. It is not about Farming, it is about business!

    My friend Marie was winning and it was hard to catch her. She lives in Alabama and many of my friends are American; but they aren’t chasing me! My friend in Holland is addicted to Farmville and I kindly gave her tips on how to play; she has now passed all her friends and mine and takes second place on level 82. Think you can catch us? She has already updated her winery with 1,000,000 coins.

    This is about competition!

    I need some new tricks. The better the wine, the higher the price I can sell it for. I can make a dozen different types. I need one to be really good and fetch a high price. I need that 1,000,000 coin upgrade – so I need to maximise my ROI as much as possible. The winner is the one with the most XP (experience points). I am still 130,000 ahead – so I’ll stay ahead but at what cost? I can’t spend more time on the game. I have to use time management again and even consider growing vegetables for a greater ROI and use my vast stock of wine to sell for a while.

    It is a simple little game of business tactics really.

    I’m glad Romeo started designing sunglasses, today’s blog in a blog is a bit boring…

    I now need to make an extra $15,000 a year

    I want a weekly column that pays around $15,000 a year. Actually, I want £10,000 because if I sell copyrights to that value it’s a capital gain and my allowance will cover it – it will be tax free.

    I need the money for a new car. They have unfortunately stopped making Vauxhall Vectras, so I’ll have to choose another. The Vectra was going down in value by 50% in the first year so maybe that was why it was replaced. I could have the Astra, it’s a little low though; it could be hard to crawl in and out of. The Zafira is the people carrier with loads of seats; maybe not people will want to sit on those seats with me driving! The Meriva isn’t too bad, my neighbour had one; he went back to the Vectra. I could have a used, Vectra they are a bargain and someone else has test drove it for me!

    I very rarely use profane or bad language but the Vauxhall website just has that affect on me. Some moron talks to you! The new car is the Insignia, I have no other details; because they show you bloody pictures while the moron talks. I want specifications and they give me BS and spin. They have an electric car, due out; I would need a 3 mile long extension cable just to drive down to the hospital! 🙂

    My hospital appointment is 5:30 this afternoon. In OPD (Out patients department), I wonder if it’s the usual one or the new one? Last time I went they were doing some things in the old department and some in the new one. I haven’t seen this doctor before, they often require a urine sample if it’s the first time. I’m not bothering, he will have to make do with blood. I had a load of tests done on my blood last time I went so that should do. It was the results of those blood tests that got me referred to this doctor. I shall write about this tomorrow because at the moment I am as mystified by my new symptoms as the doctors. They aren’t really new, I have had them at least two years so it can’t be anything I will drop dead of suddenly. The doctor’s name sounds like something you would order in an Indian restaurant; I wonder if he’s related to Ranjit’s cousin in Bangalore?

    The hospital is near to the busiest motorway junction in England, I hope the traffic isn’t bad or I’ll do the maze through the back streets. I’ll take my camera, it will be something to do if I get stuck in traffic. I’ll take a drink, that is always a wise move. I get nervous, I listened to Mozart and Beethoven last year before I went under the knife. I can listen to some Mozart in the car and turn the heater up full! I hope i don’t end up in Accident and Emergency again having a ECG! No, I shall get out of the car slowly, getting out of the taxi in a rush caused me to go wobbly – walking up that flight of stairs didn’t help. They aren’t doing anything nasty today – I may have to give a drop of blood but that is nothing…

    I’ll be back …

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 22, 2010

       Mike, your Farmville piece is PERFECT. I must reprint it in my “serious” blog SHARISAX IS OUT THERE: http://sharisax.com

       However, be prepared, more of my American friends may not take up the challenge!

       Reply
34. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 23, 2010

    Going to hospital can make you nervous…

    I admit it, I was nervous. The best way to cope is to prepare and have every eventuality covered. I went to bed early on Tuesday, took a shower and put out my clean clothes for the next day; finished my Farmville planting and settled down to watch television in bed. This was going to be relaxing.

    The movie was The Island. Have you seen it? A futuristic building in the desert with a community of clones living underneath that are harvested whenever someone needs a organ transplant. This is the stuff to watch the night before a hospital appointment!

    If you read yesterday’s blog in a blog, you will know I was nervous about the traffic too. I wrote the blog, had an early lunch and prepared myself for that 5:30 appointment.

    Now for the difficult bit, explaining why I went… the paramedics rushed me there a few times in 2008 a couple of times they kept me in with acute pancreatitis and starved me a bit until I felt better. It wasn’t a good year… I was rushed there again and the nice lady doctor said it was the same again. She took my blood and was very professional and then just as we were getting on so well, my canula shot out and I squirted blood everywhere. These things happen when you’re chatting to attractive young women; it can’t be helped. I was admitted anyway and it wasn’t acute pancreatitis. I won’t go into the gory details, but it was a bit horrible. The windows were frosted with something because construction work was going on outside and it felt a little claustrophobic and the first night most of the guys on the ward appeared to be attached to some kind of machine. I won’t go into details, just use your imagination when I say I was peeing through a plastic tube for a week…

    As a result of this I had to go back for a test. The hospital was being rebuilt still and that was when I went wobbly and ended up having a ECG in A&E. I went back again and saw my specialist and told him my medical records were wrong and I didn’t really have a dodgy ticker – my heart is fine… My test was scheduled for the next day and rather than rely on computer, he said he would send my notes to cardiology. I had to have the test in cardiology because the hospital was being rebuilt…

    I won’t go into details, use your imagination but my bladder, waterworks and bits and pieces were fine. The urologist noticed something weird about my blood vessels underneath my skin. A new medical mystery begins. I mention it, I’m referred and have a blood test! Positive! It could be a wonky immune system, correction: A wonkier immune system.
    More blood tests to make sure are called for and this week I get the phone call, he wants me to see a skin specialist. It makes sense, sort of, the blood vessels are under the skin.

    After lunch I went out, I was getting more nervous, driving calms me down and I wanted to reassure myself the car was fine and that 30 litres of fuel would get me the 3 miles to the hospital.

    5pm and there is still 30 minutes to wait, I’m going the suspense is killing me. In England we have A and B roads. I drive the short distance to the B road, turn left and drive to the end; turn right onto the A road. Now it’s easy just follow the road just over a mile and turn left at the traffic lights, drive 1/2 a mile and I’m at the hospital. Take your time, turn the Mozart on; nothing can go wrong! I nearly made it to the traffic lights… Then the traffic, I turned off and through the maze of back streets. I missed my turning, I wasn’t the only one; other people had the same idea. In to the hospital grounds and there was parking! Great!

    It is now 5:10 and I’m early, no worries, go and book in. I go into out patients; it is deserted. A sign says they have moved. A spot an attractive young woman – all is not lost. She walks with me as my personal guide and points me in the direction of the new building. I cross the street and enter through the automatic doors…

    Remember the futuristic building in the movie with a community of clones in the basement? I am now in it! Remember where they chase people down long futuristic corridors? I am in that corridor! I am looking for room 107! I come to the end of the corridor. I take the escalator down..

    Bloody hell!

    Is this a hospital?

    I see a cafe, shop, restaurant and nurses. Nurses… All is not lost… I ask a nurse, “Where is outpatients?” She points up and there it is a huge sign and it says Outpatients! I walk under the sign.

    Bloody hell!

    It is a futuristic concert hall! What do all these signs mean. They all say Route. I have a weird feeling that room 107 is Route 107… All is not lost, a pretty nurse… I like chatting to pretty nurses… I have to go upstairs, use the stairs, escalator (again) or the elevators.

    Bloody hell!

    It now looks really futuristic, the internal walls appear to be mostly glass. Route 107… I think I have found it… I had… I take a seat, I wondered if it was safe to lean against the glass wall. Don’t look down you’ll get vertigo. I wonder where I left the car? I wish I had a map of the hospital… I didn’t have to wait long.

    The view in the doctors office was amazing. The nurse was nice… I could see the whole town from up there! It was a shame I had left my camera in the car, I told the nurse that. Oh, my blood vessels showing through my skin? He doesn’t know what it is either… But the skin infection I have had for years he can treat, it’s not a wasted journey.

    I go to explore, when he has finished with me. The entrance is on the A road now. My car is around back somewhere. I’ll follow the futuristic spooky corridor back from the top of the escalator. The smell of coffee is almost overpowering as I walk through the cafe towards the escalator. I’m hungry, but I can’t eat here with that smell. I pass the chip shop on the way home. I walk along the long futuristic seriously spooky corridor. There are windows high on the walls, I can just see into one – the wards! Spooky! The clones are probably in the basement like in the movie. Finally I am back in the fresh air and I see normal people asking that question – “Where is out patients.” I think ‘find a pretty nurse, they are really helpful.’

    Back at the car, where do I go? To the A road or through the maze of back streets? To the A road, I have to check out where the new car park is. I think it’s opposite the new entrance; I must check – I’ll ask next time they phone.

    I got my chips on the way home. Did I mention the price of chips has gone up?

    Mike wants a new car

    I like my car, it got me to the hospital and back. Well it got me there, I could have been a clone driving back… Do clones eat chips? It’s OK, I remember now – I talked to that nurse in that big hall place. I said get a band in here and we could have one hell of a party. Clones don’t chat up pretty nurses. I don’t think so anyway… My clone is probably still in the basement checking out new cars on the internet and asking himself why they stopped making Vauxhall Vectras.

    This ‘new’ car doesn’t have to be new. It could be a really good one that is a year or two old. I want to write this column every week for a glossy magazine that pays obscene amounts of money to it’s writers and who will pay me £10,000 a year (tax free) to write a weekly column with the freedom to write what I want to. I need to get all the creative stuff out once a week and get paid for it so I can get this ‘new’ car. I like the one I have and I suppose a new clutch and paint job and some customisation would make it cool.

    I will now enrich you just before I start cooking lunch. remember the Fonz? He was cool! he walks in checks the place out and there is no music; they tell him the jukebox isn’t working. he glances at it and notices the mains cable comes out of the left side low down. He thinks, ‘Power supply, just above where cable goes in, loose connection’; he walks over coolly to the jukebox. He hits it just where he knows that power supply is and like magic; the music starts. He checks his hair in the reflection from the glass on the jukebox and takes the applause – this is cool…

    I did the a similar thing with my kettle this morning, but I hit it harder and swore at it.

    Finally editors of Californian glossy magazines can find my email address on my website (click my name here) or contact me through Shari, she only charges 10% for introductions. I could cost more if the value of the US dollar drops, so don’t wait too long before offering me a short contract…

    Tomorrow is Frugal Friday… (this thread is getting a bit long – we will think of something).
    I could be doing this on my own website soon, I think I have a name. I considered Totally Creative; it is free to buy that domain but I changed my mind. I am going for something more European, metropolitan and creative (I have made one up).

    I’ll be back… ( I need a new catch phrase… )

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 23, 2010

       You are OBVIOUSLY the new Kafka, and I can now see the true value of Hospital Visit stories, the first of which is to get it off your chest. The other values . . . well, we should let the readers tell us their latest hospital stories and then we’ll all figure out their value.

       “I’ll be back” works for me. Don’t change it . . . or I may have to give you TWO blogs-within-blogs, which will undoubtedly happen anyway.

       The YouTube video certainly show how manipulative the world can be in so many ways.

       Finally . . . back to the hospital: A fine example of FEAR, i.e., False Expectations Appearing Real. BTW, yesterday I heard and then tweeted: “Expectations are a sure recipe for resentment.”

       Reply
35. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 24, 2010

    Manically depressed or bi-polar?

    I have been reading about psychology. The latest fashion is to be bi-polar, it’s essential if you’re going to be creative like me; well maybe not essential but it helps…

    Bi-polar used to be called manic depression, but now everyone is confused as to what bi-polar is because the name changed. I will explain. Manic depression and bi-polar are the same bloody thing. The symptoms of manic depression, otherwise known as being bi-polar are depression and outbursts of manic behaviour. If you are depressed one day and laughing manically the next; see a psychiatrist. If you’re unhappy one day and then the next day smiling at everyone and saying ‘have a nice day!’ don’t worry, you’re just American – this is not a disease! If like me you write really funny stuff one day and the next it’s satirical and all your friends appear to be suicidal. You are mildly bi-polar; this is a good thing – you can be a writer or an artist! You don’t have to be mildly bi-polar to be an artist or a writer, but it helps… If anyone asks, tell them you’re eccentric; slightly off-centre or if you’re American and keep saying ‘have a nice day’ then it’s off-center… That has cleared up the confusion…

    Consolidation

    To clear up more confusion, I will explain – I am consolidating! I have a headache and a need to drink tea this morning; I must be mildly bi-polarised…

    I have a lot of fuel in Farmville; I’m saving it. I have loads and loads of wine… I’m saving it. I am ahead of the game and my friend is catching me up! This is because I am storing up wine fuel and cash – I am consolidating my position! At the moment I am planting crops that grow quickly. This is because I have little choice, I need the money! This evening I will begin to concentrate on grapes – this is a vineyard now and grapes make wine. My period of consolidation draws to a close and I start making a really great wine! This will hopefully sell for a high price! I need black grapes, they take 24 hours to grow and white grapes they take 12 hours to grow. This sounds simple, but it is 24 hours plus time to harvest, plough and plant! This is the problem, it puts all my timing out. I need a really good tractor, planter and harvester and loads of fuel. I need to consolidate ! I think I still need upgrades to the tractor and maybe the harvester but the 1,000,000 coins is available and I should have that and my working capital by the end of today. My friends are catching me, they don;t know I have been consolidating my position. This is a good strategy; get way out in front and consolidate.

    My friends are publishing their novels. I have been writing my friends website and learning web design and CSS. I have been looking at names for my new website and server side technology like putting on WordPress or Drupal and maybe SMF (it’s a forum). I look at at my SQL, it’s for doing a database(s) with WordPress or Drupal; SQL is sequential query language and the my bit is the name of the developer daughter apparently.

    So my friends are publishing their novels and I am learning and blogging on a WordPress platform that probably uses mySQL! What am I doing? I am Consolidating of course. I am also learning from my friends. Their failures will be my successes.

    I have read a lot in the past week. One story was truly awful, half way through; I knew the ending, it was that predictable. It was a nice change to read about bi-polar. I go on one web site just to make fun of the writers, they are so boring. They have reached the stage of boring now though where even I can’t help and add a humorous comment. I wonder why humour is spelt with a u and humorous isn’t? Word craft is important to slightly bi-polar writers. We read between the lines, look at the background in photographs and watch body language.

    We also ask questions… My main question is how I will get that feature once a week writing really creative bi-polar stuff and make £10,000 extra a year so I can change my car. I have given it a lot of thought and it’s not that important. I shall phone the garage and they can take my car and do a little work on it and it will last another year. The mechanic says it will outlive me; I didn’t look too good that day though… If I charge the battery, have the oil changed and stuff it will last through the winter… I still want that weekly feature though, if you happen to be the editor of a glossy magazine. I wonder what sort of magazine my style of bi-polar writing would fit into? One that is diverse, so I can write really funny stuff and on my more negative days write satire? I don”t mind writing for a website, especially if I get feedback. Feedback is good, well it can be negative; but I mostly get good feedback. People compare me to Oscar Wilde and that Franz guy from Germany. That quote I use, I can resist anything except temptation. was probably Oscar Wilde; unless like me he stole it too?

    My mind has gone blank, my fingers are cold and my stomach says lunch…

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 24, 2010

       Mike, I’ll be back as well. I did need to know about “bi-polar” issues, though . . . but I have to leave for my BNI meeting, so as I said “I’ll be back” [when I figure a fun way to interpret BNI for you.

       Reply
36. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 24, 2010

    The Internet is great:

    http://www.bni.com/

    Business Networking International…

    I wonder if they can use my phenomenal writing?

    Reply
    1. 

       sharisax

       September 25, 2010

       Here’s your next step with all your “free” time. Go to the BNI LinkedIn groups, join, and start cool conversations. Listen to BNI founder Ivan Meisner’s podcasts, and comment on them. He’ll find you!!!

       Reply
37. 

    Mike Maynard

    September 25, 2010

    Reserving time for that all important window of opportunity.

    I know, I am supposed to be writing about Farmville. I’m coming to that, but first we should always keep some free time for windows of opportunity; these don’t come along often. Mine came along yesterday and so all my free time is going on my Window of opportunity for the foreseeable future so I’ll think about joining the BNI after that.

    A certain publisher that will remain nameless has an email address that I am not telling anyone about for writers to submit a synopsis and introduction to. This is a window of opportunity that cannot be missed and is only available for a short time. The publisher is Big League and publishes amongst other things little known books about a kid named Harry Potter. I now have to get my creative bi-polarised mind into extra creative mode and write something really good. I know it may only seem like an email but work must go into this, psychology, word craft and lots of other stuff. I have to get the heading right, the message, the synopsis and last but not least the signature.

    The digital signature will be a clickable graphic, leading to my website or LinkedIn profile. This is a window of opportunity and must be made the most of. This means getting creative and thinking about the target audience. The target is a junior editor, probably female who if she likes what she reads will reply asking for the manuscript. She will then read the manuscript and recommend it to all her junior colleagues and they also read it. If they all like it and the junior editor thinks this will help them on her way up to senior editor and eventually to CEO of the publishing house; they ask a senior editor to read it. If it passes this hurdle, I can prepare myself for fame and fortune. A new car and paparazzi following me to the chip shop… This is a window of opportunity not to be missed. I could be busy for a while…

    Farmville

    They changed the co-operative farming yesterday and as it’s all about social networking this is a good thing. It has surprising results. I just found out my Farmville friend who is trying to catch me has sent me a message; it’s not on Facebook so must be a covert message on another social networking site; I’ll check later. She didn’t do as well as me in her last attempt at co-operative farming; but ended up doing well because all her friends helped. This time her friends are helping me! I think they want to catch up and I’m winning! I am also very generous and give stuff away, samples of wine and stuff. I have lots of grapes growing now and have planted 50% of the grapes needed for the co-op job. I need to finish it in 2 days and 18 hours but after 14 hours it’s half finished. I have two helpers so far and if it looks like I will do it and get a big bonus others may join later. I think I will upgrade the winery and make lots of wine later… I wonder what my friend’s message says; she will be shocked to know you need 33,000 XP to go up a level where I am. It cold here, about 3C and she has a cold; so it could be worse in Holland…

    Social Networking

    There are a lot of social networking sites and your ‘friend’ list can go to thousands of people. I know some people with 40,000 ‘friends’. I prefer quality rather than quantity. I asked my friends to support the charity I wrote for and become a ‘friend’ of the ‘fanpage’; nearly everyone did.

    There is something right and something wrong about all these social networking sites. Myspace was the hot property until it was taken over by News International and silly money was thrown at it. People are deserting Myspace now. MyYearbook was good, with games and battles. I was good at battles, but they messed up! They stopped mass communication by groups and this led to spam and groups off-site on Yahoo and third party communication programs. This in turn led to the dreaded captcha! This in turn ruined the site.

    Facebook is planning an IPO, they are going public, the guy who started it is going through a bad press stage and gave $100 million to education to make himself look good; it won’t work… Bill Gates gave billions to a foundation to improve his image and we still think his is a nerdy prat. There are rumours that LinkedIn could go public with an IPO. I liked Yahoo Answers before they started selling my answers to dodgy forums. I don’t think LinkedIn is that stupid, but could learn a little from Yahoo Answers and improve their Q&A. Facebook could have a better page that allows HTML and sort out the privacy problems. Linking Facebook isn’t bad, but you put a link on your page and it disappears after a while.

    We need graphic links on out profile pages back to our websites and blogs. Autographs on My yearbook used to be good and allowed HTML; they messed that up too. I liked poker on MYB – it’s was easier to play than on Facebook. VIP status ruined MyYearbook, they got greedy. I think another social network could wipe out Ning, Facebook, Myspace, MyYearbook, Zorpia, Tagged and all the others. They need to take the best features of each and incorporate them into one site and of course hire me as a consultant.

    Virals

    Virals are jokes and anything that gets emailed around the internet and people do forward them. You can do your own viral with hyper-links back to your website or blog; these are used but not enough. The links give people a choice, so they are like headlines that grab the attention and if it sounds interesting people click the link to your website. Graphic links work really well; that is a graphic with a hyper-link embedded in it.

    I just looked at my virals for an example and most are pictures or video but I found one that is text:

    An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino.. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

    She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’.
    With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, ‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’

    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed..’YES! YES! I WON , I WON!’

    She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

    The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
    Finally, one of them asked, ‘What did she roll?’
    The other answered,
    ‘I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’

    MORAL OF THE STORY –
    Not all Irish are drunks,
    not all blondes are dumb,
    but all men…are men

    Send that to all your friends with a ‘signature’ attached linked to your blog or website and they forward it to all their friends; then they forward it to all their friends and it spreads like a virus around the internet; hence the term viral.

    Just before I go…

    I’m cold, my fingers are cold. Six days to go before the heating season starts. I may start early. I have the gas fire on and it’s not helping my fingers to thaw. My creative bi-polarised persona is going more negative all the time. I have made some tea and turned the gas fire up in an attempt to remedy the situation; but I’m being invaded by flies. A couple of weeks ago it was wasps invading my bedroom, now it’s flies in my kitchen. How are they getting in? I think the wasps nested in the ventilator. That reminds me… I know why the coffee smells so strong in the cafe at the hospital. I worked it out. Remember the film the Island? The clones escaped through the ventilation system! My clone is escaping from the basement of the hospital through the ventilation system; it has to be mine, the others aren’t creatively bi-polarised enough. There are three flies on the window now; they are cloning themselves!

    I’ll be back…

    Reply
38. 

    sharisax

    September 25, 2010

    Mike, I gave your latest post it’s own URL: http://sharisax.com/DrivingMissShari/2010/09/guest-blogger-mike-maynard-wit-farmville-strategies/

    You start the next “Remember When” round . . .

    Reply